http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Abatrasau&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Abatrasau en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:44:35 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/20068551/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/20068551/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:42:40 PDT
graduated valedictorian (i was so scared for the speech lol)
got accepted to naropa U in boulder, colorado, where i currently am this week is orientation and its been really overwhelming

also, i had lots of pics and paintings from my senior year in art that arent up here and since i moved, there is unfortunately no way to get them soon.

so ya theres a bit of an update, not much, but if anyone was wondering....

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/17705915/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/17705915/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 20:58:33 PDT
1. Ok Spain! it was amazing, flying was actually fun (other than the 9 hours), it was exhausting (just now getting caught up on sleep). My favorite parts were the Prado and museum of modern art in madrid and the Picasso museum in Barcelona. TOo much to say here, not enough time. But it was really fun

2. COLLEGES!!!! FINALLY GETTING SOMEWHERE!!! Biggest news? I am accepted in the College for Creative Studies in Detroit and not only that, but if i do, I will be getting TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS A YEAR for my high school grades! all I would have to do is keep a 2.5 GPA which would not be hard at all. SO i am seriously considering this as a MAJOR option now. Naropa University in boulder, Colorado has already reviewed my app. and the only thing left is a 45 min. to 1 hour phone interview with none other than the freakin' DEAN of admissions (Nervous much? yes...) which is near the end of April.

3. my love life. Arika...I have never felt this way before in my life. Over my 2 weeks away from her only made my love stronger...it's so weird and strange, it seriously feels like we have been together for years and it hasnt even been a month lol. I know people say we should slow down, not to get too involved so I dont get hurt or something, or watever, but when we both feel like this...like...theres really no words to describe it...how can one slow down? how can one slow down loving? I;m being much more careful this time, but I can't help it...And I think actually being with her makes it so much better. I trust her (she is so frank and honest which is great) and I can tell she really loves me as much as I love her...today we were at my house and we listened to our song (18th floor balcony by blue october, its so beautiful) she was crying and I asked why, and she says it was because she loved me so much.....I can't even describe how I felt. Time feels like it stops with just being with her...and Im not planning my future around her either. She even told me to go where I want, and if we are still together, She will come to me, and i don't doubt it one bit. I think i could even make it work, and no I didnt want to get involved before I moved because that would mean another long distance relationship, but i think that I could really do this...she hasnt violated my trust completely like that other bitch and as long as she doesnt, i really do think this will work. I am so in love with her...I just can't believe I would ever feel this way in my life.

graduation is coming up (still havent come up with my valedictorial speech...ugh!) and I am really happy...I have a buyer for my surreal self portrait after the senior art show, and I might possibly have a teacher comissioning me for a mural on her wall. gah and i got so inspired in spain...also have a new 2 by 4 foot painting done that I hope to have up soon.

So in conclusion, everything is looking up for me and I have never been so happy. Once again, thanks for all for the support through my time on here, it really has helped and meant a lot. So thank you everyone! and i will update as soon as I can!

Also, the movie hasnt been uploaded anywhere, but when I get time (and remember) i will so just be patient!

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/17360416/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/17360416/ Sun, 16 Mar 2008 09:49:23 PDT
first off, my film, it has been done for a while and i love how it came out, may be uploading it somewhere when i have some time and if i do, ill get a link up here. and it didnt upset me that much, and i actually enjoy watching all of it burn. and that pigs heart was so nasty....ugh...

second, i met someone. and idk what it is about her, but iv never felt...this way about ANYONE before in my life and when we are together, it literally feels like time stops and i forget all my troubles and i dont even remember what else i did that day...and her name is Arika. we are so close already and it scares me, but iv never felt so...idk....weird....but so happy. she's amazing too and she's so brutaly honest i have a hard time doubting what she says lol. and its scary how much we have in common too...like....VERY creepy. but i cant help feeling this way...i love her so much and it's so amazing.

thirdly, im leaving for spain this tuesday. its with a school group, and now i dont wanna go cuz i wanna stay with Arika lol but i cant wait its gonna be great! i ill be gone til april first, but we get back the last day of march. its my first time out of the country and first time on a plane. i cant wait but im really nervous too lol.

and also, those colleges? havent heard anything back at all. this is getting ridiculous



but i have been feeling so much better!!!

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/16788854/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/16788854/ Fri, 08 Feb 2008 17:20:58 PST
now artistic updates....

i finally started making my short film about "her".....so soon all of her things will be turned to ash for the sake of my safety, art, and much more. i'v started a few scenes...its going to be a surreal black and white, and hopefully powerful. still need to get a pigs heart though...haha. im going to enter it in a local contest too so i have to have it done my march 1. and also if i am satisfied enough im going to TRY to get it up on devart. but it might not make the cut and i might end up hating it...oh well.

im still not really over her but im getting closer...today it almost seems like there really never was a "she" and it was all in my head...i wondered that sometimes when i was with her too...and who knows what will happen when all her stuff is gone. it should be a lot easier...but it will be hard because i have it on a shelf waiting and i am scared to even look at it. but its for art...that makes it easier. also i have finally applied to a college and will be applying to another one within another week (hopefully...ugh i procrastinated way too long...)


but thanks everyone for your support even though i didnt think it did anything, all your support and help did make a difference. and sorry to ppl i upset a lot i really feel bad about that...but you guys are the ones that i have to thank the most. so thank you all

p.s. part of the reason im happier is World of Warcraft...haha its so pathetic but i cant help but stay here just to play it! its so fun

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/16123524/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/16123524/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 12:25:02 PST
but in short, iv been doing tons better and gah i need to start getting my portfolio and apply to some art schools.

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15766784/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15766784/ Sun, 02 Dec 2007 15:04:14 PST and i won somehow...i was amazed...i won best in show of black and white with this one :

[link]

i won $50 with it too so wow im amazed and pretty happy.



and if anyone is wondering how its going with getting over her, i dont really think its going anywhere. last night, i had another dream about her (3rd one) and idk today just hasnt been that great. oh well i guess. im trying to get through the days now but its so strange. its almost like im floating on in life and...thats it. theres nothing more to my life other than living right now i guess...almost no point at all. and i feel so empty. theres like a cavity in my chest that hurts constantly...it literally hurts with every breath i take.

on another note, i cant wait to make my short film...i need her stuff burnt as soon as possible but ugh the weather has not been cooperating! does anyone know if there is any problems with using a camcorder in the cold/winter?

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15607737/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15607737/ Thu, 22 Nov 2007 09:25:10 PST
and why does my mind continue to be my worst enemy?

i was feeling better until last night...i had a dream about her...it just so happens today would have also been our one year and four month anni. it was a horrible dream...really long too. here is wat its about if you care to read all of it lol

i was at a doctors office and saw one of my friends and he had to be there cuz of high blood pressure and stress. catherine texted me saying she would call in a bit, and i was like yay cuz i hadnt talked to her since we broke up and then i was sitting next to some girl who threw a ball at me and broke my glasses and i was getting realyl pissed and catherine called. then i had to put the phone down and then the girl kept pushing on my stomach hard and telling me not to be such a pussy and stop crying over stupid things. i yelled leave me alone and everyone left me...i called her back and got her gma and then she gave it to catherine and then i appeared next to her. we talked a bit...really awkwardly and seh looked like she was going to cry but then she got kinda mad but still looked like she would cry. she walked me over to a bed with all my stuff on it and said take it. and i started yeling because she used my painting i did for her for a business project and pretty much ruined it. and idk we were just kinda talking,

it seemed like she still loved me...she actually talked and seemed to care again...

dreams are the subconscience's knife to reopen the most delicate and barely closed wounds.


*EDIT**EDIT**EDIT*
Well i forgot to tell you what iv planned to do with all of her stuffictures, letters, notes, and anything to do with her. its all going to be turned into art. im planning a short film right now that will be of me burning her stuff...it sounds strange maybe? idk its hard to describe...i have scenes planned and everything almost in my head but its so hard to explain it. but my fav. part will be the last scene. im going to have a heart in a jar (maybe a pigs? idk i have to look into that lol) and the last scene will be me taking it out of the jar and dropping into the fire. the last shot will be of it burning while i walk away from it behind it. i hope it turns out good and i hope i can do this and not regret it later but im going to. so ya....

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15441097/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15441097/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 21:33:18 PST
after over a year and three months...she takes less than four fucking days to replace me with some other guy...who she is dating and liked when we were dating.
it really makes me want to kill myself. im trying to be strong and im trying hard...my friends are helping a lot.


but i dont know what to do anymore. im not sure what to say...i just thought everyone should know this isnt as good as my last one sounded (which i was pretty ok until now)

she was great on breaking it too me too....through text messages

"will you talk to me again?" - me
"he asked me out" - her
"and..."-me
"and i thought u should know"-her
"and you said yes right?"-me
"of course"-her

a cold hearted bitch i would say...but it still hurts more than anything. i need help or something...also my newest poem is about this (the martyr of loveless love)
i hope things get better soon...

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15393165/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15393165/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 14:40:50 PST
its not all bad though...i have matured a lot in this. iv become ok with myself. i can handle who i am. iv decided my career will be art and my mind has expanded drastically.

i think i need some time to get used to this but idk. im ok i suppose...not completely destroyed. im trying to use this to my advantage and i hope i can.

just thought i should let everyone know this

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15289221/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15289221/ Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:41:35 PDT

I will be uploading a picture of it pretty soon.

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15117387/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/15117387/ Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:35:45 PDT
a few that i were thinking were:
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link] (im not sure if this is clear enough...help?)
[link]
[link]
[link]

This does not mean I will use these or anything I would just like you opinions on them and possibly (and hopefully) other suggestions as well.

also when you say your pics, please rank them from top to bottom!

thank you very much!

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/14013883/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/14013883/ Sat, 04 Aug 2007 10:53:18 PDT i really need her. I love her so much. and im sad because im not with her anymore...for now hehe. i cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll get some pics up soon of me and her hehe.

and yes i had tons of fun and thanks for the comments while i was gone!

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/13742456/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/13742456/ Sun, 15 Jul 2007 09:16:16 PDT

bye bye!!!

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/13239776/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/13239776/ Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:33:04 PDT Iv been looking at marywood university and colleges in pensylvania...anyone know any good art colleges out there? hopefully close to harrisburg?
so theres the update ha. how pointless

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/10402007/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/10402007/ Sun, 15 Oct 2006 14:09:17 PDT DEFACED AND DISGRACED BY DRAGONPSYCHE!
----------------------------------as a new way to meet friends, i thought this would be great!-

HERE ARE THE RULES:
-------------------------->
1. you must include a four-line open poem about yourself.
2. include three details about yourself that no one else may know.
3. divulge one embarassing secret or incident that has happened to you.
4. you must find six friends to tag>and you must include their names.
5. please refer to the original rules as you go along! thanks! and enjoy the games!
6. you cannot tag someone back!

-------------------------------ME FIRST!!!!-----------------------------------------------------------
1. POEM:
The one without a name,
That seems a bit insane,
Thats madly in love,
With an angel from above.
2. DETAILS:
-hm i like to sing, although im prolly really bad
-my car is broke at the moment
-i can be really really weird when iwant to
3.SECRET:
hm one time i held a snake for an audience and the tale wrapped around my leg and came out the front looking like i was well...ehem....u know...wow that sucked
4. SIX FRIENDS:
- loveisalie
-faerieoftheunknon
-GDgonewild
-icstarsnureyes
-supersecret72
-VampiricSyren
--------------------------NO--TAG---BACKS!!!!---------------------------------------------------

]]> ~Abatrasau http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/9942320/ http://Abatrasau.deviantart.com/journal/9942320/ Sat, 02 Sep 2006 15:48:34 PDT !!!! scary huh? oh well..um...ya...im bored. nothin to do around here...school started again its boring. i dont want to be here right now, id rather be in pennsylvania with my girlfriend...but i cant. oh well...

"A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart." ]]> ~Abatrasau