http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Absrtact&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Absrtact en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 22:47:42 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/26120659/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/26120659/ Thu, 23 Jul 2009 01:06:27 PDT
**Super Simple**

List all the things you cannot fucking stand.
You may have some things in common with other individuals.
It's also an amazing venting strategy, once you start you just keep on going.

-------------------------------START-------------------------------

I FUCKING HATE:
1. twilight
2. tokio hotel [seriously what the crap?]
3. todays music
4. my mom
5. the excuse for a family
6. people walking out on me.
7. talking about my problems
8. how much pride i have
9. people who consider themselves better then other cultures and people
10. vegeterians [its unnatural u stupid twat]
11. how everyone claims to be bi now.
12. birds
13. reality tv. [hey kids remember a time when shows were popular because they were actually good ]
14. the disney channel
15. the notebook []
16. people who pick on kids because they are "unpopular"
17. football
18. linsday lohan
19. christianity
20. how the world depends on money
21. I FUCKING HATE americans who say people from the east [rag heads is my dads favorite term] are wothless because they fight for their beliefs where as we are just fine with taking people from parents and parents from children to prove their "american spirit"
22. media. stfu your all retarded
23. dr. phil
24. those stupid bitches who shop so much it puts their whole family in debt but they dont give a shit if they die as long as they get that pair of fucking shoes
25. people who claim they know me, then say stupid shit thats proves they dont know anything about me [thats a big one]
26. the fact that girls can only have confidence in themself if they get thousands of comments by strangers on their half naked photos
27. people who have to make other people look bad to make themselves look good
28. stupid emo faggits who say they like the beatles because its a fashion statement.
29. punk kids for the most part. [idk if its just the ones here but seriously they care more about "their" fashion than any prep i have ever met]
30. when people dont listen to me [this tears me up inside pretty bad]
31. people who always get mad at me for being loud.
32. when people dont take my FUCKING advice. [ im right 90% of the time. now i understand why i have my name]
33. that one retarded pop singer can die and get a million dollar funeral [tax payer money of course] but poor people die by the thousands and no one cares to take some of that money for them
34. LOVE. it doesnt exist its just an excuse for teenagers to justify their never ending fornication and peoples idiocracy
35. mel gibson
36. star bucks
37. when people act differently around other people than when its just you and them
38. scott, i hate you so much i hope you rlly did kill yourself wherever you are
39. the fact that talking about feelings makes me feel stupid and just a retarded teenager [thanks mom and dad, way to give your kids confidence]
40. people who think they know addiction because a familymember/ friend went through it. i have seen both and they are 2 different worlds indeed
41. being sober. ever.....
42. being such a coward
43. being so fucking jealous all the time at everyone for no reason
44. funerals. im horrid at them
45. people who are lucky in romance and can always get some one
46. people who want world peace because thats seriously retarded, i dont like war but i doubt the world will ever not be in a war of some kind
47. being told what to do
48. homework
49. this skinny fat war, im sorry all u girls out there but not all men like skinny women, not all men like curvy women, its called diversity its kind of important stupid :]
50. internet creepers. seriously stop adding me i dont want to see your flabby twinky its gross
51. PEOPLE WHO SAY CHILD BIRTH IS BEAUTIFUL. THEY FUCKING LIE ITS LIKE WATCHING A GIANT BLOODY BOOGER CRAWL OUT OF A PACKAGE OF BOLOGNA
52. sweet pickles
53. being looked down on because i a FEMALE enjoy sex *gasp*
54. native american artwork. no offense but u can only see so many paintings of a dude crying over a pop can before u get bored
55. people who associate casino's with indians. personally i think of old white people
56. people who are clean freaks about their children
57. people who stand by s... ]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/22057927/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/22057927/ Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:16:59 PST
i have been reflecting lately on this past crazy crazy year. how much i have changed.. which is hella lots.. like how last year this time i was balling my eyes out and pounding shots of vodka over worthless nothings. and how this year im still pounding shots of vodka but not sad. how last year i was so heartbroken and this year im all love and smiles haha. how over this year alone i have done so much and seen so many new things.

anyways. so my life has been a blast ^^

i will prolyl update again on christmas but for now i havent rlly thought of what to say so bye bye <3

cassironikuss!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/20846749/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/20846749/ Sun, 05 Oct 2008 17:32:31 PDT
so i will now :]
school started and it pretty cool but i have been soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stressed out lately it hella sucks....

saturday night was pretty sweet. me and my friends went to party and we used rum for bong water xD

idk it was funny to me.. so yeah people should talk to me...MY HAIR IS BLONDE NOW. brighter then before pictures soon to come ;]

anyways i dont rlly kno what to talk bout...life is gay in a bloody butthole rainbow way ^.~

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/19669114/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/19669114/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:18:08 PDT
ok so cookie went back to germany a few weeks ago...i miss him yea but im enjoying the parteh life!! woot woot lol xD i havent been posting much art cause
1. no time to rlly sit and draw
2. i havent got much creativity lately :\

so im typin one handed cause im eatin an ice cream bar hehe. yum yum yum.

welp yeah hope to talk to u all and i love you guys bunches ^.~

srry i'll post another bttr one some other time

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/18794236/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/18794236/ Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:25:54 PDT . he goes back to germnay soon D: *sad face* so i decided not to sleep tonight.lol....

its weird i used to be rlly popular on here. like i had gazillions of friends and stuff but now i feel like a dead account =[ i just been busy and such but i have been trying... i check my deviations everyday and such. i even feel like my typing has slowed down D:

ANYWAYS... today was funny. cookie joked to my friends mom that if i come to school in 9 months with a baby dont be suprised and they freaked. everyone thought i was pregnant xD it was awkward cause ppl kept saying " if u need me to take u to planned parent hood i will" i was like "cookie your a butt hole" o well lol..

*insert normal highschool drama here*

phew glad i got that out of the way lol

i get to help the frog-o-fair saturday!! yay ^^ i love lil childrens... not in that way pervs..

hmm i need new music u should tell me knew songs!

this summer will be fun. im gunna spend alot of time hanging with friends. i will try and upload art but my camara is a dill weed and i have no scanner...


if any one has a free golf car i would take it off your hands maybe? pwwwz

omg me and cookie drove to school on one of those old ppl electric scooters today xD it was awesome!!!

i want food cause i is fat anyway i bttr go talk to me sometime

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/18391166/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/18391166/ Sun, 18 May 2008 22:24:56 PDT
]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/18264805/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/18264805/ Sat, 10 May 2008 22:22:36 PDT
hippididipitydo

hmm cow pie horse fly goat eye =]

ppl should talk to me with rapable ear candies mhm idk lol im in a hella odd mood today

life is good, floater was sweet i moshed and got back stage to get my undies signed. cookie asked me out yayz

kevin is a poopdick we would not have sex with u in the room XP taylors fault she wouldnt leave the room earlier lol j/k j/k

flowerpot= bad? i like flower pots i would much like to be considered one i think, hmm idk german is weird i think,

i go now and dance to rap-o and maybe sleep...


good night hoars!!!!!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/18044934/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/18044934/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 20:42:24 PDT

new artsy fartsies to come soon =] but thats not important right now


people are stupid and 2 faced back stabbers who should die cause they think they can use me for what they want but they wont get it!!!! if they r gunna ditch me im gunna ditch them they wont know whats comin!!!!

I WANNA PARTY I HELLA CANT WAIT FOR SUMMER!!!! weed, shrooms, the ocean,blow, what else does a girl need? maybe soda lol


o.s. you smell funneh and should comment me more often cause im bored D:

i mean if u actually read this is a quick comment rlly all that bad?

plus i hella need to buy a pipe or papers befpr floater :S im freakin out man!!!!!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17960671/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17960671/ Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:13:46 PDT
i knew we would get caught i mean come one lol...i just didnt expect to be caught like that...i figured my parents would hear us.. i guess if u do bad things u get caught eventually though...it was sooooooooooooooooo worth it

so yeah thats y im grounded :buckteeth:

besides that my life has been hella kickin'sex drugs and rock and roll!!!!!! i honestly feel waaaay bttr with that horny selfish bastard out of my life ^^ he cheated on my twice but i have no room to talk i suppose haha the last month of our relationship was spring break type of a party xD but anyways FLOATER SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wooot woot woot im so excited hehehehe i kno im so bad welp thats all for updates till im un grounded =/ love you all!!!!


xoxoxoxoxoxxxxoooooxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17912713/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17912713/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:59:41 PDT
]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17706962/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17706962/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 22:27:29 PDT
"Gone Forever"

Don't know what's going on
Don't know what went wrong
Feels like a hundred years I
Still can't believe you're gone
So I'll stay up all night
With these bloodshot eyes
While these walls surround me with the story of our life

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

Now things are coming clear
And I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared
So I'll stay out all night
Get drunk and fuck and fight
Until the morning comes I'll
Forget about our life

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

First time you screamed at me
I should have made you leave
I should have known it could be so much better
I hope you're missing me
I hope I've made you see
That I'm gone forever

And now it's coming clear
That I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever


hehe its cool :3

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17549368/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17549368/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:40:50 PDT and i had to sit in church for like 3 hours Dx.....ever got the feeling you were somewhere you didnt belong?lol

anyways im single again =/ sucky i kno BUT im ok with it now...we both werent happy, i didnt have feelings for him anymore he didnt have feelings for me and he hated where he was...so i have made my peace with this time for casseh to move on! maybe in a diffrent world we could have been friends...

welp anyways im living large and largely living! i got a few guys on my eye haha..................................................aqua man!!!........................


roflcopter i havent been as active here but ppl please send comments, notes, just up and chat sometime k?!?!?!

idk what else to write so yep....im having a cool spring break ^.~ hehe

oh my friend bought me new underwear the other day that was nice of him...and he got me new perfume its called sinful its rlly yummy haha...


well message me let me kno how your doing!!! love you all

xxooXoOOx lol

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17106344/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/17106344/ Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:02:04 PST
1. put your music player on random.
2. write 20 lyrics from random songs [no matter how embarrassing]
3. cross out lyrics when some one guesses artist and track correctly. [looking up lyrics IS CHEATING](( ok i when the song came up i got the lyrics of the internet but thats not cheating...it is if u look them up to see who sings them))
4. do this if you think its fun ^^


1. Memories consume, like opening the wound, im picking me apart again.

2. Shoes,shoes,shoes,omg...shoes. lets get some shoes, lets get some shoes, lets get some shoes.

3.Old Godzilla was hoping around, Tokyo city like a big playground, when suddenly batman burst from the shade, and hit Godzilla with a bat grenade.

4. And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever!

5.Another knife in my hands A stain that never comes off the sheets Clean me off I'm so dirty babe.

6.Fer sure maybe fer sure not Fer sure eh fer sure bomb Pulled up at a stop light did drugs on the dashboard Look at the mess we made tonight.

7.I'm going to Wichita Far from this opera for evermore I'm gonna work the straw Make the sweat drip out of every pore.

8. Demons dreaming, Breathe in, breathe in... Im coming back again...

9.He stands like a statue Becomes part of the machine Feeling all the bumpers Always playing clean He plays by intuition The digit counters fall That deaf, dumb and blind kid Sure plays a mean pinball

10.What's the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight And if you carry on this way Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight

11.Into the cold Into the pouring rain Never to be seen again We’re bruised and broken I don’t care Cause the tears that smear your makeup Make you beautiful To cupid’s poison arrows

12.Sick and weak from my condition This lust, this vampyric addiction To Her alone in full submission

13.Dirty babe You see these shackles Baby I'm your slave I'll let you whip me if I misbehave It's just that no one makes me feel this way

14.For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took, Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

15. Now I'm falling asleep And she's calling a cab While he's having a smoke And she's taking a drag

16.Windmill, Windmill for the land. Turn forever hand in hand Take it all in on your stride It is sinking, falling down Love forever love is free Let's turn forever you and me Windmill, windmill for the land Is everybody in?

17.Days go by and still I think of you Days when I couldn't live my life without you

18. Kosaken hey hey hey hebt die Gläser Natascha ha ha ha du bist schön Towarisch hey hey hey auf das Leben Auf Dein Wohl Bruder hey Bruder ho.---moskau by Dschinghis Khan

19.I feel like I'm drownin in da ocean Somebody come and take me away

20.Its like ice but no pick, a murder charge that wont stick Its like a whole other world where you can smell the food but you cant touch the silverware...what luck Fascism you can vote for...isnt that sweet?

ok there you go....MEGA MILLION POINTS TO PPL WHO GUESS 18 and 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16822868/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16822868/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 18:59:32 PST

When your on the phone arguing

[ NEVER hangup on her]



When she stares at your mouth

[ Kiss her ]



When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff

[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]



When she's quiet

[ Ask her whats wrong ]



When she ignores you

[ Give her your attention ]



When she pulls away

[ Pull her back ]



When you see her at her worst

[ Tell her she's beautiful ]



When you see her start crying

[Just hold her and dont say a word ]



When you see her walking

[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]



When she's scared

[ Protect her ]



**When she steals your favorite hat**

[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]



When she teases you

[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]



When she doesn't answer for a long time

[ reassure her that everything is okay ]



When she looks at you with doubt

[ Back yourself up ]



When she says that she likes you

[ she really does more than you could understand ]



When she grabs at your hands

[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]



When she bumps into you with her hips

[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]



When she tells you a secret

[ keep it safe and untold ]



When she looks at you in your eyes

[ dont look away until she does ]



When she says it's over

[ she still wants you to be hers ]



When she reposts this bulletin

[ she wants you to read it ]


- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.



- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go



- When she says she's okayy dont believe it, talk with her



- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you



- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her



- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.



- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.



- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.



- Give her the world.



- Let her wear your clothes.



- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.



- Let her know she's important.



- Kiss her in the pouring rain.
[[ girls love that!!!<3 ]]



- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;

"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"


-When your arguing don't say anything, just let her get everything out, she will feel a lot better.


If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :

Call you.

Kiss you.

Love you.

Text you.

Guys post as: "I'd be this Boyfriend."

Girls post as: "A real boyfriend"


you dont have to repost this i just thought it was mega cute!^^ tis the season hehe

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16819809/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16819809/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 15:41:20 PST
[Verse 1: Truth Hurts]
He breaks, me down, he builds, me up
He fills, my cup, I like, it rough
We fuss, we brawl, we rise, we fall
He comes, in late, but it's, ok
He do, I do, he knows, the rules
He takes care of home, though he's not alone
I'm on, his knee, he keeps, me clean
And gives, me things, he makes, me scream

[Chorus: Truth Hurts]
He's so contagious, returns my pages
He's got me anxious, he's what I waited for
He keeps me guessin, spontaneous
He's so persuasive, and I'm his lady

[Verse 2: Truth Hurts]
Oh! Tonight he's waitin, and I ain't complainin
I'm entertainin, my number one fan
My back is achin, from our love makin
Oh yes I'm takin, ain't no use in fakin
My ups, my downs, my high and my lows
From head to toe, he makes me glow
He hits the spot, he makes me hot
I'm all that he's got, and he's all that I got

[Chorus: Truth Hurts]
He's so contagious, he turns my pages
He's got me anxious, he's what I waited for
He keeps me guessin, spontaneous
He's so persuasive, and I'm his lady

[Verse 3: Rakim]
Thinkin of a masterplan, you know anything you need baby ask your man
You was there from a half a grand
Now it's kelos to c notes and how fast your grands
We ball like we own the world, your only concern is you my only girl
And when we speakin in tongues
Breathin hard when I'm squeezin your lungs
Keep it strong, but I gotta hit the streets when I'm done
It's joy and pain, when you try to get ahead of the game
It's fucked up but you never complain
You just pray I don't get killed when I hit the hood
Just another hundred mill and I'm a quit for good
No more drug wars trips to jail and shootouts
Gettin loot out for lawyers and bail will get you boot out
Just me and you high off sex I'm twisted
You OG'd and you OD addicted

[Chorus: Truth Hurts]
He's so contagious, he turns my pages
He's got me anxious, he's what I waited for
He keeps me guessin, spontaneous
He's so persuasive, and I'm his lady
He's so contagious, he turns my pages
He's got me anxious, he's what I waited for
He keeps me guessin, spontaneous
He's so persuasive, and I'm his lady


hehe pre-valentine song i think its cute for the sexualness of it ^^ [singing this song atm xD]

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16713550/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16713550/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:28:25 PST pictures soon to come!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16544236/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16544236/ Wed, 23 Jan 2008 22:02:20 PST
Here we go:

1. Beer:
is bad for you

2. McDonalds:
bleh

3. Relationships:
i love him =]

4. Purple:
butt sex

5. Power Ranger:
action figure

6. Weed :
weed,seed,bead

7. Steroids:
muscley nerds!

8. Cartoon:
where?!

9. The President:
better than hillary

10. Tupperware:
fat people

11. Florida:
old men

12. Santa Claus:
red nose

13. Halloween:
hmm i got more of a place thinking of this one

14. Alice:
drugs

15. Grammar:
wuts gramar got 2 dew wit eet?

16: Myspace:
13 year old whores

17. Clowns:
joker from batman

18. Marriage:
white dress

19. Paris:
the tower thingy

20. Pat:
FAT

21. Redheads:
kevin!

22. Blonde:
bleach

23. Pass the:
food?

24. One night stands:
stale thongs and cheetos

25. Donald Trump:
wig

26. Neverland:
i love lil micheal xD

27. Pixie:
cute name...for a stripper

28. Vanilla ice cream:
not my fav

29. Hooters:
big daddy

30. High school musical:
oh god head aches

31. Pajamas:
for squares

32. Woody:
a stick with google eyes

33. Wet Socks:
eww masterbation

34. her Eyes are:
HIS eyes r where my future lies

35. Love:
in it

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16410415/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16410415/ Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:58:49 PST .<

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16291485/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16291485/ Sun, 06 Jan 2008 18:33:47 PST
1. Are you male or female? miss murder


2.Describe yourself: beautiful soul


3.What do people feel when they're around you? crazy


4.How would you describe your previous relationship?cancer


5.Describe your current relationship: caught up in you


6.Where would you want to be now? here in your arms


7.How do you feel about love? the things we do for love

8.What's your life like? complicated


9.What would you ask for if you had only one wish? take me to paradise


10.Say something wise: walk with an erection [xD]

i tags:
blingbraker
Kevin-teh-pwner
WinGzx87
zenros
dev69

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16287848/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16287848/ Sun, 06 Jan 2008 14:22:55 PST
]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16262436/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16262436/ Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:45:24 PST i would rlly give anything just to talk to him maybe be his friend atleast cause i cant live with out him.b4 u ppl say o u dont need him you'll get over it blah blah blah u wanna kno what im reduced to? so far every night i have ended my nights watching suicide prevention videos and crying till i vomit over hold on by good Charlotte.....its that bad

and if by some miracle of god he does read this i want him to kno im sorry for hurting him and that i would do anything to get him back im nothing with out him he was the best thing to ever happen to me.

of course its doesnt matter to him. why would it? he has another girl who is probably the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and a family that loves him y would he care about some bitch in the past.

right reading this im seeing more and more i may need to get help b4 i hurt myself more..sigh =[ y does this gotta happen to me?every one i ever need always ends up leaving me.

this is what i feel and hope he sees right now:
[link]
and
[link]

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16238938/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16238938/ Thu, 03 Jan 2008 11:41:33 PST lol

anyways you all kno im not like that. im not an emo kid who bleeds to feel. i dont even remember some of last night

anyways im bored and all alone now u guys =/ so ppl should talk to me n shit so i dont have to sit here by myself

OH i was thinking of trying poetry..idk just a thought. if i do it will prolly be kind of emo dark shit for a while. But im not sure maybe a haiku to start? lol they will prolly suck but i wanna try! anyways more updates lateh!

I u all!!! never forget your buddy cassie is always here to help =]

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16232902/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16232902/ Wed, 02 Jan 2008 23:45:01 PST

lol anyways. iw atched a bunch of suicide prevention video's today. idk i keep saying i wont do it but i feel like it..but i wont dont wrry. just a naggy lil bug......anyways im bored osme one talk to me D:

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16230865/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16230865/ Wed, 02 Jan 2008 20:20:43 PST What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh....

this has a purpose..my ex and i got together again for what 3 days?
then he left me again...yeah. i dont what was dumber, taking him back or not expecting this of him.apparently he had another pony in the stable. o well w/e i hope she sees in him what i didnt and leaves.. that sounds mean but he broke my heart TWICE in 1 month. i dont rlly like rascal flatts i just like this song because it has the what i didnt say part. cause i was actually planning on telling him my biggest secret ever tonight.. im glad i dodged that bullet.and no i wont tell u ppl =/ its like my biggest secret i've only ever told 1 other person. and i was gunna tell him cause its like my ultimate trust thingy. but o well w/e im glad i didnt. o well. im not gunna let him bring me down. where ever he is im srry i ever saved your life and cared about u. good luck with your life scott. i just wish i could talk to my boys. cause if i find out he treats them like he did b4 i swear......anyways im just venting again. hope every one had a happy holiday=]

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16101254/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16101254/ Tue, 25 Dec 2007 21:21:08 PST I found a flower at my feet,
bending there in my direction.
I wrapped a hand around its stem
and pulled until the roots gave in,
finding there what I've been missing.
And I know....

So I tell myself, I tell myself, it's wrong.
There's a point we pass from which we can't return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm...

All because of you,
I haven't slept in so long.
When I do I dream
of drowning in the ocean;
longing for the shore
where I can lay my head down.
I'll follow your voice;
all you have to do is
shout it out!

Inside my hands these petals browned;
dried up falling to the ground,
but it was already too late now.
I pushed my fingers through the earth,
returned this flower to the dirt;
so it could live, I walked away now.
But I know...

Not a day goes by when I don't feel this burn.
There's a point we pass from which we can't return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm...

All because of you,
I haven't slept in so long.
When I do I dream
of drowning in the ocean;
longing for the shore
where I can lay my head down.
I'll follow your voice;
all you have to do is
shout it out!

All because of you.
All because of you.

All because of you,
I haven't slept in so long.
When I do I dream
of drowning in the ocean;
longing for the shore
where I can lay my head down.
Inside these arms of yours.

All because of you
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
no, not the kind with halos;
the kind that bring you home
when home becomes a strange place.
I'll follow your voice;
all you have to do is
shout it out!


merry fucking Christmas bitches

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16005970/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/16005970/ Wed, 19 Dec 2007 19:43:58 PST And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and

I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running

But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...

All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
[x4]

As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun

And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever.

i like this song kind of reflects my mood. =/
but u should check it out its a good song

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/15989662/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/15989662/ Tue, 18 Dec 2007 16:36:01 PST seriously? just ignore u after u gave them so much and loved them with EVERY part of u..act like they never loved u at all. which wouldnt suprise me now how easily they can just torture your heart with poems and journals making u feel like u left them.
even if they did want to leave who would do that? just say good bye like that not even say y or talk to u?well i guess it shows there true feelings....you kno who you are.....i hope your proud of yourself, crushing some one heart so happily. after all the love we shared and dreams? then they just go and do this?Y? is it to play with my head? idk but i've gone through some many emotions, denial, anger, manic depression....i feel like a crazy person but haha who cares about me anyways? no one apparently.[ and who ever reads this and is part of his family or friends plz dont hate me? he did this to me for no reason]



well just venting u dont even have to read this i just wanted some one to care enough to listen to what i say for once =/



btw happy[?] holidays ppl which ever religion u choose





ooo and on a side note [u dont have to read this unless its about u which u kno if it is]


how could u? i should have guess u never loved me after all who would want to? im a fat druggy emo kid...you hurt me bad i've beenwith worse guys than u [ u WERE the best] and even they could break up with me like a man. not note and run. but like i sia du never loved me anyways so what do u care? i had a feeling u hated me by the way u always ran from me

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/15728228/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/15728228/ Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:11:36 PST me love u long time

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/15380060/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/15380060/ Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:32:49 PST ok so this guy I HAVE NEVER MET BEFORE IN MY LIFE.. has been telling my bf to leave me and that I'm some kind of slut/whore. and keep in mind this guy has never met me..and so he had been harrasing my bf trying to force him to leave me..so i cussed him out. i was in the right i think right? i mean how would u feel if some stranger came and tried to tell your loved ones lies about you. and now he posted this pussy journal about how "my bf should be ashamed" and "I'm so freaking bad"

and whats worse is all these people [people i still don't know] are agreeing?!?! i mean wtf?

if people ever took the time to talk to me maybe they wouldn't be so hasty to chew me out like that. idc I'm just saying it is kind of rude to sitting there talking about me like that just from what other ppl say alone...


SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to all those people who so happily sit there and agree with sphirux who doesn't even know me try talking to me or even asking some one who does b4 u follow like little sheep.

AND to those people who will still willing agree with him.GET OVER IT..HE LOST MY BF STILL LOVES ME AND I STILL LOVE HIM!!WE ARE HAPPY STAY OUT OF OUR LIVES!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/15359463/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/15359463/ Sun, 04 Nov 2007 09:53:42 PST 2. Age (optional):15
3. Single or Taken:Taken
4. Favorite Movie:ummmmm...shuan of the dead
5. Favorite Song: "thrash unreal"-against me!
6. Favorite Band: my chemical romance
7. Kinky or Clean:Clean
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:i ahve my ears but im gunna get alot done

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of DeviantART?

2. What song reminds you of me?

3. Would you have my back in a fight?

4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?

5. What is your favorite memory of us?

6. Have we ever been drunk/stoned together?

7. Would you give me a kidney?

8. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you:

9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?

11. have you heard any rumors of me lately?

12. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?

13. Do you think I'm a good person?

14. Would you drive across country with me?

15. Do you think I'm attractive?

16. Are there ever times when you want to call me but don't?

17. If you could change anything about me, would you? what would it be?

18. What is the best advice you can give me?

19.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

u can be mean but dont call me fat..or i' kill u bitch

tehe ^^

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/14395689/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/14395689/ Wed, 29 Aug 2007 13:15:25 PDT

1. Pet peeve.//people who call me emo >.<[is so NOT emo]

2. Dislikes.// spicy foods

3. Habit.// stripping in my sleep....its weird man

4. Habit.//dancing in the shower haha

5. Fact.// i can play knotty boy...w/ my tongue!!! rofls my waffles

6. Fact.// when i get excited i have crack twitches xD



1.post these rules
2. post 8 random (hopefully interesting) facts about yourself
3. tags should write a blog post of these facts
4. at the end of the post 8 more bloggers are tagged and named
5. go to their blog and leave a comment telling them they're tagged

1.i absolutely hate those myspace bulletins that say if u love jesus repost this otherwise u r going to hell...honestly i do love jesus but i highly doubt he will send u to hell for not posting a bulletin

2.i hate people who think they r "gangster"...what kind of bullshit is that? you know the people I'm talking about the "respect me or i'll shoot u" types..and its like ytf would i respect you?i bet you cant even spell respect >.<

3. i seriously love every single little kid cartoon. they are the best cause they make me feel happy inside =]

4. I'm allergic to the cold. not as bad as my dad but when i get cold i get lil white splotches on my skin.

5. im willing to try anything at least once it doesn't matter what it is but i would prolly do it just to see what its like

6. I'm bi and i hate when girls freak out when i tell them. they r like "omg eww" and its like w/e not like i would be interested in you anyways lawl. and i also hate when people assume that im bi so i must be lesbian...its like um no....

7. i can't sing my a.b.c.s backwards =[ I've tried a million times.

8. i throughly believe sporks do not exist...THEY DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13971702/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13971702/ Wed, 01 Aug 2007 13:10:20 PDT i think it was hacked..idk anyways my new msn is nosweatjustsweetblood@hotmail.com plz, plz, plz, add me so i can have ppl to talk too =[ anyways ttul

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13807704/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13807704/ Fri, 20 Jul 2007 11:23:21 PDT i missed my bf and everyone else....but at the park i stayed at there was a french guy w/ a rlly hot accent....srry hunny lol your still hotter tho ^^ anyways..there was also a very creepy guy who was stalking me and my friend taylor..glad i never have to see him again.besides that we watched the dreads..more boring than i thought.and I GOT TO RIDE A FUCKING TRICYCLE!!!!it was the funnest thing evur xD anyways note or comment anytime to keep me from dying of boredness

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13615756/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13615756/ Thu, 05 Jul 2007 02:50:18 PDT
ok so i saw this picture fake plastic ppl by i forgot who and it got me thinking about models and celebrities now adays and how so many woman today r ranting about how "models and stars promote an unrealistic depiction of beauty" ok so here my positive and negative thoughts about this...
[+] models today are way to skinny!!!i mean i like when they have a skinny supper model but designers today ahve way over done things...models and such today r dangerously skinny, their pant sizes r like 00 in childrens..im actually wrried alot about their health! the way the need to be today is in a state of inches away from starvation!
[-] ppl now think designers need to make clothes for heavier ppl...um no they dont..if they want their designes on a skinny person so be it...its not their fault your like 4oo pounds. idc if they want skinny ppl just not sooo skinny...

ok so i go camping 3rd week in july at the coast ehehehehe but ima miss my bf [my pookey-lovey bug scott ] and he had BTTR.BEHAVE.!!!!i might have to drop some elbows!!! school joke lol...anyways love every one lots!!!!ppl can add me on msn or note me or anything!!! i ahve nothin to to over summer so feel free to chat =] ]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13220513/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13220513/ Mon, 04 Jun 2007 20:20:31 PDT he got double Pneumonia and is in the hospital D; i told him to go on saturday but he wouldnt listen he finally went his morning and im ssssssssoooooooooo wrried about him =[ i already miss him and hope he gets bttr

ok anyways its almost end of the year and the moving on ceremony is on the 12th i might go if i can find an outfit which i doubt cause i always look fat no matter what i wear >.< cant wait to talk to yall this summer and catch up....o and black mah sistah needs to have another ramen parteh!

OMfG I DRANK DOOKEY!!!!!! =[ o yeah 6 flags was fun i got major sunburn but i went on the rides and had a blast! i think might have cheated on my bf tho D; cause there was this foot message chair and it did wwwaaayyy more than that xD yeah it was weird i was like " o foot message i want one" so i put in 25 cents and BAM it was pretty frisky xD

anyways im done for now so comment u butt monkeys or i will be sad and throw u ALL in lumpy lake!!!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13181329/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13181329/ Fri, 01 Jun 2007 20:15:34 PDT
Sarah: Oh my gosh. I woke up too late! I still need a shower and everything!

Right when she said that Chris walked into her room smiling from ear to ear.

Chris: No baby. You're beautiful just like that- now come on, I'm starving.

Sarah: Okay.

Sarah got out of bed, put on some clothes, took his hand, and walked out the door to his car and got in.

Sarah: Where are we going? Remember that I have to be home by 1. I have cheerleading practice and you have football.

Chris: I know..

Then Sarah noticed that Chris was really pale-looking.

Sarah: Chris are you feeling okay? You look like you're sick..

Chris: Yeah; it's just my allergies.

Sarah: Are you sure? Did you go to the doctor yet?

Chris: Yeah.. I went yesterday. They just said to take some allergy pills and that I'll be okay.

Sarah turned to look away from Chris.
She knew there was something wrong.
She has allergies and she doesn't look like that.
Then he reached out and held her hand.

Sarah: Chris your hands are so cold. I dont think you're okay tell me what's really wrong.. do we need to go back to the house?

Chris: I promise you baby; everything is okay.. they told me to go back tomorrow but I'm not going because there's nothing wrong with me.

Sarah: Chris you need to go! If they told you to then there is something wrong!

Chris let go of her hand and turned back to the road and didn't talk to her the rest of the way.
Sarah just looked at him.
They finally pullled up to the resturaunt and ate breakfast.

Chris: Did you bring your cheerleading stuff or do we have to go back to your house to get it?

Sarah: I have it.. do you really think you should go to football practice like that ?

Chris: Yes Sarah. I'm fine.

Sarah: If you say so..

Chris: Sarah, baby, would I lie to you?

Sarah: No...

They got back in the car and went to the field.
They got out and started practice.
Sarah was practicing a new cheer, but then out of no where she heard a boy yell,

"HE'S NOT MOVING SOMEONE CALL 911! HELP COACH!"

Right when she heard that she turned around and saw Chris on the ground just laying there, not moving.
She ran to him but her dad pushed her back.

Dad: No honey. You shouldn't be right here.

Sarah started to cry.

Sarah: Daddy. What happened? Is he okay?

Dad: Honey. Please just go back with your coach.

Sarah walked back and sat on the bench with her head in her hands while an ambulance came and took him away.
She got in the car with her dad and they went to the hospital.
When they got there his mom was already there and talking to the doctor.
They walked over and listened...

Doctor: You may want to sit down for this.

Chris's Mom: Is he okay?

Doctor: Ma'am.. your son has lukiemia. We can put him on treatments, but he might not make it because the cancer has already spread too much.

Sarah was shocked and began to cry on her dads shoulder.

Chris's Mom: Treatments?

Doctor: Well the treatments would cause hair loss... but it will help slow the cancer down.

Chris's Mom: But he's certain to die?

Doctor: Yes.. but we have had this surgery to clear out the clogs.. but it's possible that he will not make it.

Chris's Mom: I will have to talk to him about this. Can we see him now?

Doctor: Yes. One at a time though.

Chris's mom looked over at Sarah and hugged her tight she knew that Sarah loved him with all her heart.

Chris's Mom: You go first sweetheart.

Sarah: Are you sure?

Chris's Mom: Yes honey.

Sarah walked slowly to his room and turned the knob.
She just stood there, looking at him lying there weak.
He was so pale and he had tubes surrounding him.
It was painful for her to look at him.
Chris looked at her and weakly smiled at her.
She went over and kneeled down beside him.

Chris: Did they already tell you?

Sarah: Yes...

Chris: I'm sorry Sarah. I didn't want you to find out like this.

Sarah: It's okay; I understand Chris.

Chris: Baby I love you so much.

Chris reached up and slowly ran his fingers through her hair.

Sarah: I love you too Chris. With all my heart.. and I will be here for you 'till the end.

Chris: Im going to be okay Sarah.

The nurse walked in with Chris's mom.

Nurse: Its her turn now.

Ch... ]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13057011/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/13057011/ Tue, 22 May 2007 21:57:36 PDT OH im going to 6 flags this weekend im so excited!!!!!!i've never been to an amusement park b4 only cheesy carnivals...im gunna take lots of pictues and post them if i can ^^ this jerk at my school named derrek keeps flirting w/ me and it rlly bugs me cause he is an ass >.< but o well if he keeps it up im gunna castrate him w/ my foot xD anyways thats all for now i'll update later

,
~peanut

p.s. i love u scotty and we'll be together forever and a day never forget that

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12920287/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12920287/ Fri, 11 May 2007 19:48:43 PDT its the sex xD

i got the emo type bangs and my hair used to go to my middle back now its like 2 inches below my shoulder...plus i got layers.....well thats all..i might get piccies soon to =]

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12857177/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12857177/ Sat, 05 May 2007 21:20:40 PDT i was at a parade today and i was trying to find my parents so i was walkin around and i saw this like hot as hell girl standin there..and she gave me that rlly dirty "im bttr than u" look just as her bf came walkin up and he was a total ugly ass wankster lmao and that made my day cause she was all like pretty and im like ugly fat ho and i still got a hotter bf than her xD [which btw he is EXTREMLY hot and sexy ]


anyway yesterday i saw a kid w/ a super mullet and it was funny...and another kid who looked like a baby hitler...

i was gunna stay the night at my friends but i missed scotty to much and he left so i got nothin to do..god i miss him =[ he is so perfect and sometimes i wonder if he knows how i much i loves him =3

well thats all folks...lmao

o btw im sssssssoooooooooo close to 10,000 pg views..so if u r my 10k let me kno pretty plz and i'll be your best friend!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12809526/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12809526/ Tue, 01 May 2007 22:05:09 PDT i'd so pay money to see that!!!

[link] OMG THIS IS SSOOO MEAN!! made me cry =[ [i cry over everything tho ]

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12796211/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12796211/ Mon, 30 Apr 2007 20:55:34 PDT first off me and my friend got in a fight and i doubt we'll ever talk again..i do feel kind of bad cause i did say somethings thats were way out of line to her but she is still acting like little miss innocent victim..she keeps saying she didnt do ANYTHING wrong...that pompous bitch. i told her a million times that it was because she was being a big motuh shit talking whore but of course she wouldn't listen...worst part is my bf is on her side...i wish i could say dont talk to her ever again but im already a failure of a gf i dont need a to pull a sadie and be controlling to i wish i could say y im actually mad at her what not but then i would loose EVERYTHING..trust me it is that bad...

besides that not much..still love my snuckums scotty lol medford found the worst pick up line ever...are you from heaven cause u smell like cheez-its

d.a. went all trippy on me O.O idk if its just me tho


anyways message me ppl and let me kno how u all r

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12711430/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12711430/ Mon, 23 Apr 2007 22:27:45 PDT
anyways i've been good cause i got my smexiful bf to talk to [] and no one had bttr be mean to him or i will get VERY pissed and beat u up :/

im rlly excited im almost at 10,00 pg. views!!!speaking of page views i need way more myspace buddies...[[link] go there and add me to your buddies list and u have to talk to me once in a while to

thats bout it for now...wait btw check out the song duality by slipknot one of my fav song evur!!!!!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12673500/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12673500/ Fri, 20 Apr 2007 21:45:28 PDT anyways!


HAPPY HOLIDAYS YALL

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12612778/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12612778/ Sun, 15 Apr 2007 23:40:39 PDT
anyways OMG [link] that is the coolest thing i have ever seen! i would so do that but every one would go " stfu u fat emo/ goth whore" but o well i would try! plus im in love with that song!

oh and another note me and scott worked things out and r back together [lol not u brother its a diffrent scott xD]...hopefully this time it will last forevur and ppl will quit nosing in his business..u kno who u guys r and u should be ashamed...and if i keep finding out about ppl yelling at him or talking crap i will hunt u down, rip out your eyes and shove them down your pants so u can watch me kick your ass!!!!!!!

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12545755/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12545755/ Tue, 10 Apr 2007 20:53:15 PDT I don't know what to say
I can't feel a thing at all
I did not see it comin'
Now you just a man that got away
I look at the ground
And give the sky the middle finger
Something inside said
"Here's a day you should remember
So mark it on a wall"

I never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to dumb girls
Taking themselves too seriously
I was so damn smart
I was the one girl
Who never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to somebody else

I miss you so much
Can't stand it
You bring out the blonde in me
'Cause I'm still hanging on
Even though you done me wrong.
And I got the heart to forgive this
But I'd never let you know.
What kind of girl would put herself
In that postition?
yeah
To think that I could ever fight the system
And I got fooled again

I never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to dumb girls
Taking themselves too seriously
I was so damn smart
I was the one girl
Who never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to somebody else

I thought I was strong (I thought I was strong)
But I was just dreamin'
I can't believe it (can't believe it)
That nothing was wrong (nothing was wrong)
I thought I knew what was goin' on
But love was deceiving me (love was deceiving me)
Now I'm just a dumb girl
yeah
A dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb girl
That's what I am
yeah, yeah

I can't believe that it happened to me
Something like this only happens to dumb girls
Taking themselves too seriously
I was so damn smart, yeah
I was the one girl
Who never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to somebody else

(only shit like this would happen to me)
Can't believe this shit could happen to me
yeah, yeah
'Cause something like this only happens to somebody else

I guess I'm just a dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb girl
That's what I am
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb girl

dumb girls- lucy woodward

fits my mood to a T

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12530388/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12530388/ Mon, 09 Apr 2007 19:20:14 PDT [] You own a digital camera
[] You've been called white boy/girl -.-''
[ ] You own something from abercrombie
[ ] You own something from aeropostale
[ ] you own something from Hollister
[ ] You own something from American Eagle
[x] You like going to the mall.
[ ] you love/like Starbucks.
[] You have been called a brat.
[x] You love shopping
Total:2

GOTHIC

[x] Black is one of your favorite colors.[it IS my fav color]
[xxxx] You have thought about killing yourself[every damn day and night ]
[] You wear chains.[i wish donbt have the money]
[x] You like heavy metal.
[x] You've shopped at Hot Topic.
[x] You have worn black lipstick.
[x] Your hair was/is dark.
[x] You dislike preps.
[] You're an athiest/satanist/agnostic.
Total: 7

PUNK

[] You can skateboard. [i wish]
[] You've worn plaid.
[] you like Converse. [im a hooker boot girl]
[] you hate MTV
[x] You have/had blue, pink, purple, or green hair.[purple..i wanna dye my hair black w/ green streaks over summer]
[] You dislike pink.[love it w/ black :3]
[x] You hate/dislike preps.
[] you play any rock-like instrument and are actually good at it
Total: 2


GEEK

[x] You like the computer.
[x] You like Harry Potter.[heck yes bitches xD]
[] you are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
[] You get straight A's[].
[] You love/like reading.
[] You don't care what you look like.
[] You have a curfew.
[] You always do your homework.
[] you never miss school unless you're sick
Total:2


EMO

[x] You have been depressed.[only always]
[] You have black rimmed glasses.
[x] You like the band Taking Back Sunday
[xxxxxx] you cry easily
[x] you like emo music.
[x] You have been called emo.[every fucking day of my life >.<]
[] You keep/have had a journal/diary.
[x] You have written a sad poem
[] You have/had a sad Myspace layout.
[x] You have a DeviantArt
[XXX] You think emo guys are good looking. [the hair and eyeliner make me hawt xD]
Total: 8


GHETTO/GANGSTA

[x] You like rap.
[] You are in a gang.
[] You wear/wore rubberbands in your pnts.
[x]you swear all the time
[x] You swear once in a while
[] you have free styled
[] You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out.
[] You can break dance
[x] you always use slang
Total: 4


HARDCORE

[xxx] You like loud music[hellz yeah]
[x] You love/loved the Ninja Turtles[im wearing ninja turtle boxers now!!!]
[] You never walk anywhere.[can't drive so i gotta]
[] You have/wear slip-on shoes.[nope complicated hooker boots]
[] You like/love the band Norma Jean.
[x] People have called you a freak and meant it.[everyday]
[x] You love to "hardcore" dance[whats that?]
[x] Your hair has been dyed more than one color.
Total: 5


ATHLETIC

[x] You watch/watched the Superbowl.[i love football]
[x] You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
[] You collect your jerseys.
[] You have/had had a special shelf for trophies and awards.
[] You have/had posters or plaques of famous athletes
[] Your garage consists of sports equiptment
[x] You belong/belonged to a school team.[im doing volley ball next year]
[] You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
[] You have a specific number preferred for your jersey
[x] You have played more than one sport
Total: 4




anyways idk anything anymore.everything feels like a lie..im sssssssooo tired of caring about EVERY ONE all the time and putting all my emotions aside to make EVERY ONE ELSE happy..im done im gunna stop giving so much of a fuck about every one and do w/e i want to be happy so FUCK YOU every one

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12407558/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12407558/ Sat, 31 Mar 2007 20:43:03 PDT
o.q

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12186318/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12186318/ Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:55:03 PDT idk..even if i do i don't think im that bad

2. LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
lover

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
heights

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?
no my parents wouldn't buy me any D;

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?
the fat redneck cousin of the t.v. family :/

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
no

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
yea i was freakin awesome!

8. HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
so much sssuuucckkkaaaagggeee >.<

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
white

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
if nodody is home

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
hell no!! who would do that sport in the first place!?

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
nah

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
walmart X3

15. HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?


16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
no i wish D;

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CHOCOLATEY CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
who would waste that much time licking?

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
no

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
no!

22. ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?
man thoongs r bttr xD

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
not rlly my thing :/

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
idk onetime i married a goat on a fake marriage thing on the web...or was it?!?! dun-nun-nnnuuuu

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
no it's a bunch of crap..except my capital s

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
dying

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
rather not say

28. IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?
yes he lives under my bed and throws teddy grams at me while i sleep >.<

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
no

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
don't like eggs

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
well so far ones that i have met r :/

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
under my computer desk

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
7:39pm

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
idk you'd have to ask diffrent ppl

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
o god that crap is nothing buy garbage covered in grease


36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
idk

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
showers,but sometimes i sit in the shower cause im lazy like that xD

38. IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?
IM SANTA CLAUS

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
kinda mainly walking in the hall way to my room..i always get this feeling some one is right behind me

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
dark chocolate and my chemical romance


42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
does it mttr?after all it's still the same peanutty goodness


44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
yeppers :3

45. SINGLE OR TAKEN. IF SO BY WHO?
single :/ somebody date me!!!

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
yes it is i learned the hard way :/

47. ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?
yep they r black w/ pink ^^

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
blue i guess

49. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
last night was a sob fest

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
nnnooottt rrlllyyy

51. WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
idk alot of ppls lives r bttr

53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
no

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
... ]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12098062/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12098062/ Wed, 07 Mar 2007 19:20:59 PST
1.i randomly start dancing all the time.

2.im afraid to cry in front of anyone..haven't cried around someone since b4 kindergarten,i usually hide in my room w/ the stereo up and cry by myself

3.im queen of knotty boy!!!(sadie u kno it's tru)

4.i hate root beer!!!idk y it is just rlly gross tasting

5.people at school call me gothic or emo but i love everyone way to much to be either..

6.i fuckin love colors!!!idc what people think im a bitch for teh rainbow!!!!

ok so in other news...my friend came over(she is totally awesome btw((your welcome sadie))) and we looked up all the meanings for the gally bracelets and it was awesome...we broke all my yellow ones tho o well a friend bought me some yesterday!!anyways the website was weird tho cause we clicked on somethign called toothbrush and... those things r made for cleaning your teeth not making girls dirty!!!that also where the title came from and y i can no longer look at watermelons,waterballons,blankets and beach balls the same way ever again...

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12047234/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12047234/ Sat, 03 Mar 2007 23:14:17 PST because im cool like that

[_] Come to my house to do nothing at all but chill?

[_] Fight me?

[_] Have sex with me?

[_] Kiss me?

[_] Let me kiss you?

[_] Watch a movie with me?


[_] Go out to dinner with me?

[_] Let me drive you somewhere?

[_] Take a shower with me?

[_] Let me sleep in your bed?

[_] Sing car karaoke w/ me?

[_] Re-post this for me to answer your questions?

[_] Hold my hand?

[_] Let me make you breakfast?

[_] Help me with homework?

[_] Tickle me?

[_] Let me tickle you?

[_] Instant message me?

[_] Greet me in public?

[_] Hang out with me?

[_] Bring me around your friends?

[_] Be down with me no matter what?

[_] Go to prom with me?


D0 Y0U...

[_] Think I’m cute?

[_] Think I’m serious?

[_] Think I’m a good person

[_] Think I’m conceited?

[_] Want to kiss me?

[_] Want to cuddle with me?

[_] Want to hook up with me?

[_] Think I would do you?

[_] Love me?


AM I...

[_] Smart?

[_] Cute?

[_] Funny?

[_] Sexy?

[_] Cool?

[_] Romantic?

[_] A *freak*?

[_] Gangsta?

[_] Loveable?

[_] Adorable?

[_] Trustworthy

[_] Compassionate?

[_] Great to be with?

[_] Attractive?

[_] Mean?

[_] Well known?



HAVE Y0U EVER...

[_] Thought about hooking up with me?

[_] Found yourself wanting a kiss from me?

[_] Wished I were there?

[_] Wanted my number?

[_] Had a dream about me?

[_] Been distracted by me?

[_] Wanted to see *me*?

[_] Looked at my page more than ten times?


ARE Y0U...

[_] Happy you know me?

[_] Horny?

[_] Thinking about me?

[_] Wanting to call me to talk about these things?

]]> ~Absrtact http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12007396/ http://Absrtact.deviantart.com/journal/12007396/ Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:40:15 PST
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. (yes, this actually happened)

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

I am the gay male student that had to switch to another high school on my senior year, because I told my teachers that I was gay. One said that I was going to hell the other wanted to cure me.

I am the person that can not act/be themselves in fear of what others will think of me and if they will accept me.

I am your best friend, the same person you grew up with, and told your secrets too. The person you can't talk to anymore, because my partner is a women.

I am the daughter and best friend, the girl you raised and loved. Now you wont talk to me because i shattered your dreams of ever having children, And you your afraid of how to tell your friends about me and not be embarrassed.

I am the person, with the same fears, hurts, needs and wants as you. I bleed, I breathe, I understand, I Live.....With our hearts open and our eyes closed we are all the same people. Living life the best way we know how, with what we have been given.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

]]> ~Absrtact