http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:AdmiralLee01&section=today deviantART RSS for by:AdmiralLee01 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 09:20:37 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/26683044/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/26683044/ Tue, 18 Aug 2009 23:53:03 PDT [link]

I have to talk to his mom...but does anyone think that is okay or should I try to convince my mom about letting me order a dress online? (which is $100 and has to be dry cleaned...I don't own things that need to be dry cleaned because everything goes in the washing machine). Any help? I don't want to look like the super weirdo white person in a group of darker skinned people...I need more sun.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/26367485/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/26367485/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:10:10 PDT
1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
Let’s see.

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Garces.

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
Yeah, I woke up on my own.

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
Yesterday with Joe.

7. What are you excited for?
My laptop!

8. What were you doing yesterday?
Went to Joe’s and hung out and slept on his bed for a bit while watching Alexander.

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Joe.

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Ice cream.

11. Have a best friend?
Yes I do!

12. Are you scared to fall in love?
No, I already am.

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
Not really, but there are rare occasions.

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
My friend’s boyfriend.

15. What time is it right this second?
10:45

16. What do you want right now?
To be with Joe and sleeping all cuddled up under the blanket.

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Stacy and Miss Christa

18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
Taken.


19. When was the last time you cried?
The other day when I got upset at my dad.


20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
It’s a day by day thing.


21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
Until they break my trust, no.

22. How fast does your mind change?
Quite fast.


23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
I really do.


24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
Yeah.

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
Because people rush into things instead of thinking logically and when things get tough, they rather move on than work it out, plus the morality of people has dropped so much that it’s sad.

26. Tell me what's on your mind?
Joe, college, Voltron, future.

27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Bloomsburg Fair, birthday, Joe’s sister’s wedding, college.

28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Everyday, I love Joe’s shirt. ^^

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
Just now.

30. When is your next road trip?
No clue.

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Yeah.

32. How's your heart?
As far as I know, it’s good.

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Who hasn’t?

34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
Yup!

35. What are you planning on doing after this?
Relaxing.

36. Next time you will kiss someone?
When I see Joe.

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Yup, Joe

38. Who do you not get along with?
Mainly my friend’s boyfriend.

39. What does you 3rd recent text say?
I can’t.~Joe (he had to go to school)

40. What are you wearing right now?
Black, white, and orange orchestra t-shirt and jeans.

41. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
Pretty damn good! ^^

42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
The other night.

43. What's your fave boy and girl name right now?
boy- Ramses Issac/Ptolemy Alexander
girl- Sarah Isadora/Neysalina Alexandra

44. How did you feel when you woke up?
Great!

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
Not really.

46. Do you crack your knuckles
No

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
Talking to Alex.

48. What are your LEGAL initials?
AML

49. Whos the first B in your contacts?
No one.


50. when was the last time you laughed really hard?
Last night when Joe’s brother walked in on us kissing.

51. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
Yeah! He’s my one and only love!

52. Last awkward moment?
Read #50

53. Are you afraid of the dark?
Kind of.

54. Do you have good vision?
Up close, yeah.

55. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Yup.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yeah

57. Are you Irish?
I don’t got red highlights for nothing!

58. Do you use chap stick?
All the time during the winter.

59. Do you have any scars?
A lot.

60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
Yeah.

61. Are you dating the person you... ]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/26092019/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/26092019/ Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:59:21 PDT
]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/25382827/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/25382827/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:34:44 PDT
So tomorrow, I'm going to get a big box and get rid of crap I don't want anymore. I'm gonna start with my closet and then the dog crate full of my papers from school and then my room. Then I'm going to call my Uncle Mark and see if I can arrange a deal with him for moving in with him. I just am so frustrated with my dad. His back pain is so bad that not even the prescription pain killers can touch it. He wants to go for the surgery, but he wants to wait until he's 55, which means he has one more year. I can't handle him anymore. I used to love my dad because him and I always clicked, we were a team, but of lately, he's become increasingly nastier and it's to the point where I want Joe around all the time because if Joe is there, my dad acts like the man I know him as, not the angry man in pain. I hate the man he is because he scares me and gets me upset and worried that he's getting Alzheimer's. I don't know who he is anymore, he scares me.

For happier things, Joe's older sister is getting married!! She found a nice guy with a job and a future. Joe is upset because he now has to wear a tux more than twice. -_- He looks so good in a tux though, that's why it irks me. He's a funny boy.


[link] Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan- Nightwish Awesome Finnish metal band and a beautiful song that calms me.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/24810083/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/24810083/ Sun, 17 May 2009 17:48:26 PDT
So finally he came and I waited in my bathroom for permission to make my entrance...well...it was...less than elegant. You see...I tripped and stumbled, but I caught myself. Thing is, his parents were video taping it (yay me...this will now and FOREVER be on tape). Then I couldn't stop giggling because I don't do well under such attention, I'm not used to it, plus I felt funny being in a dress in front of his parents...I like my jeans and t-shirt. Plus, Joe was, oh my, was he so handsome!! I love him in a tux, he looks sooooooooo nice. ^^ (Plus the tie is an added bonus, it can be used as a leash to make him behave).

Anyways, after pictures, we went to prom and it was nice and the food was good. The dancing was sooooo much fun, I spent most of my time dancing with Joe and a few of my friends. It was an all around good time, except for the cramped feet. We ended up pinning my dress up so that I could dance because it was a bit toooo long.

Joe and I then went to an after prom party at the school and we had fun in the moon bounce, the jousting ring (which wasn't much fun because I got hit really really hard in the head and it gave me an instant migraine), Guitar Hero, Rockband, Volleyball and Basketball, cards, and they had movies. I tried to take a nap but it was way too loud and I really wanted Joe to stay with me until I fell asleep, but he wanted to do other stuff so I let him. I then talked with one of the ladies there for a few hours since I couldn't sleep and then when I did have Joe with me, he wanted to do stuff so I gave up on sleep and by breakfast, at 5 am, I was cranky because of lack of sleep. Then I was just about to fall asleep when one of my friend's hit me and I flipped shit and then I started to cry because I was a bitch and Joe just hugged me and when I got cranky with him he just hugged me and tried to make me go back to sleep. I was just about to fall asleep right before my mom came to pick us up and on the way home as I cried because I missed Joe (I get very very emotional when I don't sleep for 24 hours) and I missed the 8:00 service because I was out like a light around 7-ish when we got home. So I was woken up and dragged out of bed at 8:30 so that I could go to Sunday School and dress up as a dog, even though I wanted to sleep. Then after Sunday School my parents went up to this breakfast and I slept in the car because I wasn't hungry. Then when we got home around noon, I waited until Joe's father came and got the tux and he said the same thing everyone else said, "you look hungover." So after he left, I was going to watch a movie, but I fell asleep for five hours. I still feel like the living dead and I'm now going through my pictures and submitting a few.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/24694097/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/24694097/ Sun, 10 May 2009 20:34:56 PDT
I can't wait to see Joe in his tux!! I'll update more Thursday because that's supposedly when I he can try it on. I'm so excited!! ^^

Also, Joe isn't wearing camo for the whole month of May and I personally think he looks HOTT!! Button down shirts and jeans...he looks NICE ^^

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/24062295/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/24062295/ Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:42:28 PDT Joe: I don't wanna wear a tux, Isis, do I *have* to?
Me: Yes! *said sternly*
Joe: *turns and walks away from me and out of the store*
Me: Joseph stop acting so childish, it's only a tux!!
Joe: *comes back to me with head lowered and shoulders slumped* I don't really want to wear a tux, I'm going to be constricted.
Me: Just look at the jackets, please?
Joe: Fine.

Finally after whining, he found one that he liked. He then tried the jacket on.
Joe's Mom: Oh look at you!
Joe's Godmother: What do you think, Ashley?
Me: I think he's going to look so cute!
Joe: I'm not cute!!
Me: You're going to look so handsome, Joe.
Joe: I feel constricted.
Me: Oh stop your complaining, you're not wearing high heels and a dress. It'll be nice to see you in something other than camo.
Joe's Mom: You should wear normal clothing for once, Joey.
Joe's Godmother: I agree, Joey, it'd be nice to see you dress like a normal boy.
Me: Yeah, Joe, I mean you don't have to paint your clothes on like your brother but a pair of jeans and t-shirt wouldn't kill you!
Joe's Mom: She has a point.
Joe's Godmother: She told him!
Bobby: There's nothing wrong with what I wear! *His pants are so tight, you see everything. They look like they're painted on, we don't think he's going to be able to procreate when he gets older because of lack of oxygen to that area. *

Then Joe tried on the shirt and complained he didn't like the buttons. He was not a happy camper on the outside, but secretly he was enjoying the attention and being fussed over and called handsome. So in the end, he ended up with a black tux, that is the exact one, minus the tie and vest. [link]

We're using the tie from this set. [link]

And the vest from this set. [link]

He's gonna look soooooo handsome! I can't wait for May 14th when we pick up the tux. I'm gonna take TONS of pictures of Joe. He's totally NOT gonna like it...oh well!!

Now to figure out what to do for my hair. Ugh, it's so confusing what to do. I'm thinking of a half ponytail, the ponytail then curled into a few spirals and then the bottom half curled as well, or get the classic retro curls from the 40's. I might just do it myself and just scrunch it and twirl two pieces and just have it like that with a few hair clips. Any suggestions?

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/22616790/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/22616790/ Fri, 16 Jan 2009 15:13:59 PST
Then I tried to think of the good from back then, my best friends and I being goofs after school, the freedom of being a child, the not caring about the future and living only for today. The bad outweighed the good, no wonder I was so depressed.

10th grade was the worst year. My mother destroyed me, ripped me apart, making me feel worthless as she cheated on my father and saw nothing wrong with it. My heart was a disaster area and I risked my heart on someone who I should have not. I believed myself to be a monster, someone who didn't deserve to live and my self image of myself was destroyed, I hated who I was, I hated everything about me. I wanted to die, I had everything in order, my last wishes, my things divided among those I cared for. I had the pills, but...I just couldn't do it. I called a good friend of mine and I told her, crying and needing someone to listen.

11th was the year of healing, it took me almost 8 months to trust anyone else other than my small group of friends. Then came along Joe. When his friend told me he liked me, I was terrified. I didn't want another relationship, I didn't want to hurt him or for him to hurt me. I spent many nights just wishing for him to give up on liking me, dreading on seeing him when break was over. Though my head begged for me to not start a relationship, my heart begged for me to let him close...I gave into the heart's begging. At first I was terrified of him knowing me personally. I thought he'd give up but he stayed, intrigued by me and me by him. Soon, my heart healed and he filled the void filled by the ones I lost to death and life. He made me feel safer than anyone I ever knew. I could sleep at night, knowing that tomorrow would bring me the chance to talk and see him again. I began to love life like I did as a child, to see it as a blessing. Now I see the beauty in everything once more. It's been ten months that we've been together and they are ten of the best months ever. Joe and I have talked about things and he said that after I graduate college and he does his tour in the military, that we'll get married. He brought it up and it surprised me. He doesn't know what he wants to be, but all he wants is for me to be there and be the mother of his children. He makes me feel so overwhelmed with love. Though we are madly in love, we're not doing anything stupid. He wants to wait until we're both ready because we both feel that we're too young. He is everything I want in a man, gentle, a heart of gold, protective, loving, caring, strong. He knows I'm more of a sentimental girl than a material girl and he'll write me poems to show how much he loves me. He has his flaws, but I deal with them because I know I have flaws as well.

In ten months, he has changed me so much. I no longer fear being alone because I know he'll be there, I dream a lot more. I dream of a future that is in my grasp, one that is so probable, that I am able to bet my chips on. He has changed as well. He is open, more willing to let people into his world. He allows me to get inside his head and see how he thinks, he doesn't hide his feelings as much is adorable in how he makes sure he gets a hug and a kiss after school and meets me between a few of my classes.

I guess it is true, you have to Hell to get to Heaven. I wish everyone could find someone who makes them feel like I do, to be loved so much that just being away from them for a second makes them even more special when you are together again.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/22270273/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/22270273/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:31:07 PST
Things here have been good. Joe and I have recently celebrated nine months of dating and are looking towards our tenth month coming up on the 11th of January. I love the boy. We celebrated Christmas Eve together and we're very very happy. His parents like me, they think I'm very polite and in a way are probably puzzled at the fact their son, who is quiet and lives in his room, got a girlfriend...I know his little brother is.

I hate not having school, I miss Joe so much, I haven't seen him in almost a week and I'm starting to get boyfriend withdrawal. Hopefully I get to see him tomorrow. He wants to show me how to use the wii and I want to beat him at Soul Caliber 4 again. It's amusing. I'm pretty good. I broke his helmet, chest armor, and his pants, he was in nothing but his chain mail and I just lost my helmet. Not bad for someone who rarely games.

I got a new Nikon Xoolpix s550 camera for Christmas, 10 mega pixels of love. ^^

How was everyone else's Christmas?

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/21053920/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/21053920/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:54:26 PDT Both of us were cold so we snuggled...as he ate salt & vinegar chips with cream soda and I ate oreos with birch beer. On the way home he fell asleep with his head on my shoulder and it was adorable.

Then today, Saturday, was our homecoming dance. I had a lot of fun dancing and singing and dragging Joe around. I have a few pictures that I'll post. Joe's sister picked us up and he gave me a rose corsage for my wrist and it was pretty and smelled good ^^. There was drama but Joe and I avoided it, we stayed together and had fun just dancing and kissing. He's a good kisser. He didn't wear camo. ^^ My dad said, "come in here, I wanna see this." His sister and my mom took pictures so I'll put them up. It was a nice night, though, I kind of wished Joe would have fallen asleep again, it was cute to watch him sleep with his head on my shoulder.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/20640626/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/20640626/ Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:26:20 PDT
On a sadder note, last Thursday his appendix burst. Joe felt horrible Wednesday and he wasn't in school on Thursday and Friday so I was worried because he never came online. Friday I got my senior pictures and after them, my mom looked at me very seriously and said, "Joe's in the hospital...his appendix burst." What do I do? I start laughing!! Why would I do such a sick thing? Because I knew something was wrong with him, I knew it. Plus when I'm nervous, I laugh.

So I went straight from senior pictures to the hospital to see him. When I walked in, his face lit up a bit. He's in a lot of pain and when I was at the hospital, he was holding my hand and he squeezed my hand whenever he got a really bad pain.

I saw him on Monday and he was in pain because they took him off the morphine and he's in a lot of pain. Today when I visited him, he threw up and he was in soooooooooo much pain. When I got home, I let the floodgates burst and I started crying because I honestly feel so helpless. He's in pain and I can't do a damn thing to help him.

I miss him being in school and I miss being able to snuggle with him and feel safe in his arms. I miss his warm embrace that made me feel safe and as if the world was a safe place for me to be in.


*****

I wish Joe was better, I wish he was right here, completely healed so I could have my puppy to cry into. Selfish, yes, but my world is slowly falling apart. My mom got a call that my Uncle Tom isn't doing good. He's mentally challenged and he's on a trachea (spelling??) The doctors don't think he's going to make it. I...I can't do this anymore. I need someone to hug me and tell me things are going to be okay. I feel so vulnerable. I'm a fucking crying mess.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/19903656/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/19903656/ Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:12:02 PDT Egypt.

Anyways, we watched the movie, I used Joe as my head rest as he kept his arm around my waist. We then went to dunkin' doughnuts/ basken robins and we got some ice cream. We then sat outside and relaxed and talked. There were these two little kids and the boy was playing games with us and his mom apologized but I think Joe liked seeing me react to the little kid.

In the past five months, I've learned a lot from Joe. That I can be loved for who I am. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not to get a guy's attention. If I can find someone who loves me, I'm sure everyone else (except Nick and people who expect their partner to be PERFECT) can find love too. I've also learned that beneath every tough guy, is a sweetheart of a guy that doesn't know how to love but if shown love and is willing to learn, he's a quick learner. It's amazing how just a little showing of affection towards such a hostile man can result in him being such a softy!! He's soooo gentle with me. If someone even joked about harming me, he'd be on them in two seconds flat, but with me, he's as gentle as a lamb.

I love him for who he is. He's a gentleman. We've made out a few times but he's always kept his hands where they belong. He's a sweetheart and the last thing he'd do would be to hurt me. He accidentally hit me, it was more like a gentle push, and he apologized for 10 minutes!!

Our favorite date is to go to the local park and go through the woods and then walk the creek. Then we put a blanket down by the crick on the grass and we talk and flirt. He lets his guard completely down and when it's just me and him...it's almost as if we're the only two people on Earth. He gives me peace and I feel safe with him.

Here's to hoping him and I keep going like this.

Anyways, how is everyone??

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/18670220/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/18670220/ Wed, 04 Jun 2008 21:06:26 PDT
Last week Joe and I went down to the creek and were sitting by the creek and he put his arm around my shoulders and I sat there and I kind of didn't know what to do so I just leaned against him a bit and I held his hand and we talked and he asked if I was alright with his arm there and I said I was. I really was, I liked that he took the initiative to actually do something. Then he was poking me in the ribs and teased me since I squeak. Then that's where his pet name for me came out. I'm his squeak toy and he's my puppy. ^^

He's much like a dog, don't ask but all of us see it in him and he's so cute because he's learning how to be affectionate so he's like a puppy...and he's mine so he's my puppy and I'm his squeak toy because dogs have squeak toys and I squeak.

Anyways, on the way home we were on the same bus for after school activities and he sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder and I decided to rest my head against his shoulder and he rested his head on my head. Then when I got off I gave him a hug and we kissed each other on the cheek and I was very content with how the day had went.

Then I talked to my friend about him and how I felt and she said, "Egypt...you love him don't you?" and I looked at her and I said, "I don't know." and she replied, "What makes you like him?" and I started thinking and I began to write a list. Then talked to his friend and she agreed that I'm in love with him and him with me. So I began writing this message for my AIM account, but I kept it from them.

Then Thursday I looked at my friend and said, "I love him." and she smiled and said, "Tell him when you're ready." and I showed it to his friend and she said "Show it to him."

Later that night I put it up and told him to read my buddy information for AIM. After he read it he said, "That's how you actually feel? You feel that deeply for me?" and I said, "Yeah..." and he said after a bit, "you know...I feel the same. I've known for a bit that you loved me...but not that deeply."

He said he could tell by how I spoke to him, how I cared, and how I smiled and gestured openly to him.

Then Friday DECA sponsored Dorney Night so we went to the local amusement park and had TONS of fun and Joe and I...we got to step up a level in our relationship.

Shamelessly flirting and being teenagers, we held hands and were kids for once. In line we flirted and kissed each other's cheek and he once in a while would hug me as he kept his arm around my shoulders. Then he began to loosen up and he would occasionally stroke my hair to smooth it out or kiss my forehead. Then when we were sitting on the scrambler, he looked at me and said, "I love you." and I looked at him and smiled and said, "I love you too." and we snuggled against each other and got jeers from my friends who didn't hear what we said but saw us and teased us.

Then we relaxed on this train thing and it was getting dark and we were snuggling and in response to him kissing my forehead I went and kissed his cheek and he then said "Kiss?" and I kind of looked at him funny and he caught me on the mouth. It was a quick clean kiss that made me blush even more and he teased as I cuddled into him, "You're so red I can feel the heat from your face."

Then the rest of the night we flirted and kissed a few more times, simple and clean kisses, nothing long and drawn out. Then my parents picked us up and we sat in the back and we held hands and I put my head against his shoulder and he put his head against mine and we both dozed off occasionally.

This week we have finals so we have half days and him and I have spent an hour and a half each day together. He's become very open and not afraid to show his affection for me in public. We do get teased though. He's Hispanic and I'm Caucasian so kids automatically think we're doing stuff and we're not. He's a gentleman and I'm not a lady but I have morals. The last thing he'd do would hurt me. He's a tough guy and he's a bit rough but with me he's gentle and would never raise his hand against me. If I get out of line he pulls me close and taps me on the nose or pokes me or sternly tells me to knock it off.

I know my parents aren't that crazy about him but that's because they don't know him that well. If they'd talk to my friend and those who know him for the sweetheart he truly is, they'd like him better.

Anyways it's late and I've got a date with him after 7th period final so wish me luck! ^^

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/18358634/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/18358634/ Fri, 16 May 2008 21:32:20 PDT
On the bus I was going to lean over and kiss him on the cheek, but his brother was on so I didn't. It was cute because he sat across from me and we were turned towards each other and he sits with his knees apart and I sit with my knees together and I had my knee against his and we flirted and spoke softly about things and laughed. He's a sweetheart, he makes me laugh and if I have a problem I can tell him, he understands me, he gets me. And he trusts me, he tells me things that I know he doesn't tell others because he rarely speaks about things about his family and when he brings it up, I listen carefully.

My friend and his friend agree, they both think...okay know, that if anyone can help him learn to love and to learn compassion it will be me. I've gotten through his guard, I've invaded his personal space, and he doesn't mind one bit.

My friends are planning our wedding already, they seem to think he's the one...I'll let you know in a few years about that one. *wink*

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/18092694/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/18092694/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:51:24 PDT
I'm not letting it go to my head, I'm just amazed...him and I...war and peace. He's someone I'd never choose on my own...but...him and I...I can see this working. Now...to get some sleep!"

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17590364/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17590364/ Sun, 30 Mar 2008 13:25:57 PDT
To those I sent my stories to, if you happened to save them...please could you email them to me? Especially like my 60 page story?

I should have listened to my dad he told me to back it all up but I knew better, shows me not to listen to him, stupid faulty Compaq piece of crap hard drive!

My whole graduation project is GONE. *sighs* This sucks...at least I have Joe to make me smile with jokes.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17526990/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17526990/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 14:58:06 PDT
His friend said he's in shock but happy and is nervous.

ALSO...I'm going to EGYPT!! I got the down payment from my dad and all I have to do is write the check.

On a sadder note, my pc, my ONE YEAR OLD pc DIED last night after I got done talking to Joe...thing is...it has ALL of my stories on it. So, someone better figure out how to get my crap back so I can finish writing them.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17435335/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17435335/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 23:52:14 PDT
Him and I are trying to keep everything on the DL because we're not sure of what's going on between us. Though my choir director and my mom call him my 'boyfriend' I don't know if we are. And my one girl friend has implanted the idea of hugging him...just to see what he would say...hehe. I was gonna hug him, but I decided against it because Mr. Pain In The Ass was there and so was a teacher...who we both know. Yeah...so...now to just find a way to hug him without people seeing and making him uncomfortable...hehe. I don't mind hugging people...but I...I don't know...I feel shy about hugging him.

So...my plan is to hug him before anime club when no one is there yet, we're always there early. And if it's awkward, I'll randomly offer a cookie to the first person who walks in and afterwards, I'm winging it big time.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17340264/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17340264/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 00:13:15 PDT [X] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[X] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ]I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[X] I've sworn at my parents.
[x] I've run away from home.
[x] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[X] I'm in school.
[ ] I have a job.
[X] I've fallen asleep at work/school. (I was on vikadin...that shit is strong)
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school. (pneumonia)
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[x] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.


Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[X] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[X] I've snorted while laughing.
[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[X] I was born with a disease/impairment. (Yup, I have hemochromatosis...high blood iron)
[X] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[x] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[x] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.


Traveling
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[ ] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.


Experiences
[ ] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[X] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[x] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I've crashed a car. (does a tractor count?)
[x] I've been Skiing. (I fell a lot)
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[X] I've played a prank on someone.
[ ] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[X] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[ ] I'm single.
[x] I'm in a relationship. (kind of...)
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[X] I miss someone right now.
[X] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[X] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[X] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[X] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[X] I've had a crush on a teacher. (I was in grade school and he
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger. (I had to when we were playing clue)
[ ] I have kissed a stranger

Honesty/Crime
[X] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[X] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[X] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[X] I've cheated while playing a game.
[X] I've cheated on a test.
[ ] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[X] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regular... ]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17293333/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17293333/ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 20:37:04 PDT
So, I get home and my friend then tells him that he should ask me out. (This coming from the same boy who it took two weeks to ask out the last girl...he's such a hypocrite) Then I read a fortune cookie that told me to man up and just talk about it. I like him.

Plus I'm talking to his friend about him and I'm noticing we're very much alike. We both write, read, draw, and like the quiet. We're alike, but we're so different at the same time. War and Peace, Serious and Silly, Realist and Dreamer.

According to my friend's Oracle, him and I will work out...and he did it twice. I'm gonna get a second opinion and then wait for fate.

My friend is trying to rush this but I just want to take it slow, hang out and chill for a bit and then...when something happens...it happens. ^^

Now...all I have to do is keep my friend from yelling "Camo Ninja Healer Babies!" infront of him and singing the stupid song he made for me.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17261615/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17261615/ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:37:18 PDT
There is this guy, I like him...he's nice. Well...we kind now know we like each other...we admitted it to each other (I'm about to jump out of my skin in excitement)...but we don't know what to do now...

So, tomorrow, I have my first 'date' with him after school. I'm all jittery and nervous. I'm all smiley. I mean, all we're gonna do is sit in the library and talk. I already got the whole "I told you so." from my friend. She's seen this coming, because he constantly talks to me, ignores everyone else in Anime Club, but talks to me. Plus he's intelligent (yes...I said he's intelligent). He likes me for my peacefulness and he trusts me. I like him for his personality and I trust him. Though, I trust almost anyone, I feel that I can tell him anything. He knows that I'm learning to be a healer, he respects that and shows an interest. He's willing to help me learn. He's loyal and I'm loyal...it's a good situation. Plus, he has the same dislike of technology as I do...except he's better with it.

Today I told my best friends.

Charlene: Oh...God...
Me: I know!!

Rei: CUTE CAMO NINJA HEALER BABIES!! SO SUPER MEGA CUTE!! A spirit of War and a spirit of Peace! That's so...rare, bold, dynamic, amazing...FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!!!!! Should we start chiming the wedding bells?
Me: WHOA THERE!! We're not even official! We need to talk first. Goodness...I thought the old women were excited to marry me off.

So...tomorrow (hopefully) I'll be on here with an update.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17186723/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/17186723/ Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:30:27 PST
Trip to Egypt details:

Cairo
Memphis
Sakkara
Giza
Aswan Islands
Aswan High Damn and granite quarries
Kom Ombo
Edfu (Temple of Horus)
Luxor
Valley of the Kings
Karnak

and *drum roll please!!* ABU SIMBEL

and then...the town named not only after one of the greatest generals in the history of the world...Alexander the Great...the famed...Alexandria.

Plus there is this little thing called the CAIRO MUSEUM = X infinity

I'm on Cloud 9 at the moment...I think people may soon cut my tongue out so that they don't have to hear any more of my "I wanna go!" speech

*dances around and sings* "WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN!"

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16903000/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16903000/ Fri, 15 Feb 2008 17:45:54 PST x infinity!!

MOONLIGHT IS BACK WITH NEW EPISODES STARTING APRIL!!

My source [link]

We may only get 3 or 4 but still NEW EPISODES!!

So until then, I'll be drooling and yearning for more blood. So in April, get cozy with a cup of nice warm cup of A+ and watch the hott vampire Mick and his lovely human, Beth take on the forces of evil...but wait...he's mortal now...that puts a monkey wrench into my plans...now I HAVE to watch...


Mick + Beth =

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16664649/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16664649/ Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:16:45 PST
So, now I've gotta look for a job, but something that I would enjoy. I'm a good secretary, I like to write, I love to babysit, I like to cook/bake. I don't have enough grace or patience to be a waitress, so that's out. *is very frustrated about job situation* And I won't even mention what my dear friend suggested...rotten son of a bitch. I wish I could write a best selling book and just do that, but that takes YEARS. I don't think I have that kind of time or that good of an imagination.

But anyways, I'm really really really really excited. I really really really really want to go. I adore Egypt and I want to get there before some jackass blows up the pyramids or Abu Simbel or Philae or Deir el Bahri. I mean, this is a once in a lifetime thing. My best friend is planning to go and I think that if she gets to go, that I should be able to go too, I mean, I'm the one who can give a two hour lecture on Egypt!

So, wish me luck!!



~Isis/Egypt

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16557677/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16557677/ Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:56:53 PST
Well, it turns out she only was mad and wanted to destroy the world...that's nothing unusual. She's feeling pressured because she's a lot like me. She's everyone's rock and she feels like no one is listening to her when she has a problem. Her friends on this webthing asked her for some advice and she turned them down saying she needed some time to herself and they got mad and blocked her or something. So that has her frustrated and then her mom said that because her boyfriend is almost 2 years younger than her that she should break up with him. She likes him a lot and he really likes her.

By the end of the day, both of them were in study hall smiling and laughing and me feigning a smile because of the pounding in my head. So I came home and just as I was about to fall asleep, my mom decided to take me to get my allergy shots. SO, after that, I came home and went to fall asleep when my cell phone rings.

Answering it, it's my friend's dad. He ran away and he thinks that he's going to hurt himself. Well...there went my nap. Calling my friend, she got the same call and then we called his girlfriend, who didn't know because his dad thought that the 'Ashley' in the cell phone was the one that was his girlfriend and she doesn't have a cell phone. So she panicked and then she did a few things, she's Wiccan so she did a protection spell and asked for her spirit guides to find and protect him.

So while we're talking, my friend says "He's here." and hangs up. Later on, she calls and I hear his voice in the background. He's fine, just cold. He walked two hours in the cold to her house. So now he's at the hospital and I'm still on edge because for almost two hours, I didn't know where he was or if he was okay because he got his cell phone taken away, hence the mass confusion because his dad had his cell phone.

So, this whole episode only gives me more of a headache and my mom made it worse by coming in every five minutes to see if I was okay and what I was doing while I was trying to take a nap. So, when I finally get warm, she goes "Time for supper, you should eat. I don't want you to become anorexic, so get your fat ass out here." (Lovely eh?) and then she got on my case that I need to get new friends.

NO, they are loyal and they are true. They're fucked up, but that's what makes them...well, them. They all are different and unique and strive for individuality. They care little for what others think about them and live by high moral standards...okay, at least us girls do, the boys...they don't know what morals are...seriously.

Oh and at school, next summer this teacher is taking kids to EGYPT...I asked my mom..."over my dead body". Dad said I can go if I get a job. Which means my dad is going to bring more applications for me to fill out to work at the place they do. I don't want to work at a nursing home, it's so depressing and they come home miserable and they hate life. I don't want that...I'm too young. I hate going there, I feel as if there is a shadow following me that is cold and wants me to leave.

So...another day in the crazy life of me. Now to crawl to bed and sleep off this headache in my freezer of a room.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16435564/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16435564/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 17:06:29 PST
My Chemistry teacher is one of those people, she's really nice and gladly will help you if you don't under stand. My English teacher is another one. She's willing to spend time with you to help understand a story and she's trying her best to make us realize that we can do something with our lives and she wants all of us to go to college. Then I think of my 6th grade English teacher, she inspired me and allowed me to explore the world through books. She often gave me suggestions for books and eagerly read my writings. In 8th grade I had another English teacher who also helped me with my writing and she stayed after school many a days to help me understand prepositions and memorize them.

Then I think of women that I have known for years. My elementary school art teacher is one of the most beautiful people I know. She's a kind and gentle soul that loves what she does and loves to teach it. She's why I want to be a teacher, especially a history teacher. She's so charismatic and she just a wonderful person. I adore spending time with her because she's so knowledgeable and fun to be around. Then I think of my choir director and how she deals with us kids and loves what she does. She has two little boys and she's always doing something with them and she enjoys being with us.

Then I think of my friends. They all are beautiful. They put up with me and believe in me when I don't. They eagerly support me when I'm losing hope and urge me to never give up on anything. They all are different and take pride in it. They don't conform to society's view and I love that about them.

They aren't size 0, blonde, and stupid, they're all beautiful for their personality and internal beauty. That is beauty. Beauty is only skin deep, but True Beauty is throughout and very few have it today. Whether you're built like an oak or a willow, each and every woman is beautiful, they just have to accept their self and radiate the beauty that they found in them.

That's what I believe and one day I hope that I can radiate the True Beauty that they do.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16335979/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16335979/ Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:13:17 PST
Why?

[link] GO SPEED GO!! (said in the nonperverted voice, unlike the song on my computer )(be still my perverted mind)

Speed Racer, is going to be a live action film (Oh Sweet Isis...) but anyways, so far from the preview...YUM! I can't wait to see it!

[link] Spaceballs, the cartoon series??

Thundercats...a live action movie?? Oh my!!

And of course, Voltron has a script! *woot!* I wonder if they will have my Norwegian...he's...if I was Romelle, I would have done exactly what she did in my one story. *grins innocently*


[link] cool site



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Josh is dead and now Beth is mad at Mick!

Next week's episode is totally gonna be AWESOME!!

Mick might now be human because of Coraline but will Coraline KILL him to keep him from Beth or will she kill them both? *is over the top with anticipation*

Oh this is a good pic [link]os=0

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16303442/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16303442/ Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:49:26 PST
I have TWO days to learn something that takes THREE days. I need to learn and understand this before the midterms, I NEED the grades. I mean I have mostly B's and C's but I need the grade in math. Math is my downfall and this year, I'm doing really good in it. If I can show colleges that I had a mid B in the beginning of the year and then got a high b and then I got an A (I'm gonna work for that A) that would be awesome. I now just need to work on Chemistry (I don't even need it for the job I want but I still need it, I'm good at the labs, I do good on them, I just am really bad at tests, not a good test taker, I have a high C. English I'm good at, I just forget to hand in papers. If you don't hound me, I don't hand in papers, I do them, I just forget to turn them in. That's why tomorrow, Mrs. Deuer is getting a whole mess of papers.

Today, I spent two hours playing name games...seriously, we were that bored.

Then this afternoon, I was trying to take a nap because I had a headache, my mom came in my room and started to try and talk to me. Finally she left and I fell asleep for about half an hour when my dad came upstairs and then proceeded to scream at me to stop being so lazy and help him. I ignored him and fell back asleep. Then mom made hotdogs, I HATE HATE HATE HATE hotdogs. I hate the taste and the smell of them, seriously. So I came out and smelled them and I felt sick. Ignoring the smell, I went on my computer to realize that my screen was messed up, so I had to readjust my screen and rearrange my icons on my screen. Then I sat down and thought that mom would have made something other than hotdogs for me to eat...I assumed wrong. So then my dad started to provoke me, he thinks that by teasing me that he'll get me to smile and stop being a bitch, uh...no. Teasing me pisses me off worse and I got mad and threw my hotdog on the plate and ran to my bathroom.

Then a few minutes later, I came out to see that the hotdog on my plate is now gone. So I made another one and the fucking thing was cold and hard, my mom never cooked the hotdogs enough so that they weren't frozen. Finally I got a hot one and I gagged it down because "If you don't eat it-" I just told her to shut up and ate the fucking thing.

So, now I'm sick to my stomach, with a sore knee, my injury from last year's gym class is bothering me for some reason...it hurts like a bitch, I'm getting a cold, and it's getting to be that time of the month. This is all coming to an ugly head and I'm going to snap and I pity the poor soul who I snap on. I'm stressed out and it's not even midterms yet.

Oh and another that pisses me off at the moment is this whole Middle East/African issues thing. Pull them all out and fuck them. Let them take care of themselves, we need to focus on our country's need. Once America is back on track, we can worry about the world. Maybe I'm naive, but I think we need to work on America's problems before we help the world. I mean, we need to worry about the internal affairs of our nation. People are working the system and that's not a good thing. Welfare is a JOKE. For the sanity of everyone, I will not give the five page essay on why that is a joke and why I think everyone should be required to take job training and get tested for drugs before they get it and why there should be limits.

So uh, yeah, if you catch me online and I seem a bit...dangerous, it's okay, it's not you, it's the world I live in.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16229886/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16229886/ Wed, 02 Jan 2008 19:09:33 PST
Mine is to FINISH stories...and my God, I'm actually doing so!

So far, I've finished THREE (okay, one I finished before New Years but hey, it still counts). Now to finish the other 10 *sighs* and then the ones that pop into my sick mind.

Voltron-The Letter [link]
Voltron- Secret Wedding (debating if it is appropriate)
Voltron- Shape Shifter
Part ONE [link]
Part TWO [link]


Rei: A FINISHED STORY?! I'm gonna read this before I finish my manga. (I shocked her that much)

Happy New Years!!

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16129834/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16129834/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 20:26:06 PST
He's five foot-two, and he's six feet-four,
He fights with missiles and with spears.
He's all of thirty-one, and he's only seventeen,
Been a soldier for a thousand years.

He'a a Catholic, a Hindu, an Atheist, a Jain,
A Buddhist and a Baptist and a Jew.
And he knows he shouldn't kill,
And he knows he always will,
Kill you for me my friend and me for you.

And he's fighting for Canada,
He's fighting for France,
He's fighting for the USA,
And he's fighting for the Russians,
And he's fighting for Japan,
And he thinks we'll put an end to war this way.

And he's fighting for Democracy,
He's fighting for the Reds,
He says it's for the peace of all.
He's the one who must decide,
Who's to live and who's to die,
And he never sees the writing on the wall.

But without him,
How would Hitler have condemned him at Labau?
Without him Caesar would have stood alone,
He's the one who gives his body
As a weapon of the war,
And without him all this killing can't go on.

He's the Universal Soldier and he really is to blame,
His orders come from far away no more,
They come from here and there and you and me,
And brothers can't you see,
This is not the way we put the end to war

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Tin Soldier- Joan Baez.

Listen, children, to a story
That was written long ago
'Bout a kingdom on a mountain
And the valley folk below
On the mountain was a treasure
Buried deep beneath a stone
And the valley people swore
They'd have it for their very own

Go ahead and hate your neighbor
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of Heaven
You can justify it in the end
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgment day
On the bloody morning after
One tin soldier rides away

So, the people of the valley
Sent a message up the hill
Asking for the buried treasure,
Tons of gold for which they'd kill
Came an answer from the kingdom,
"With our brothers, we will share
All the secrets of our mountain,
All the riches buried there"

Now, the valley cried with anger,
"Mount your horses, draw your sword!"
And they killed the mountain people
So, they won their just reward
Now, they stood beside the treasure
On the mountain dark and red
Turn the stone and looks beneath it...
"Peace on Earth" was all it said

Go ahead and hate your neighbor
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of Heaven
You can justify it in the end
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgment day
On the bloody morning after
One tin soldier rides away

Go ahead and hate your neighbor
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of Heaven
You can justify it in the end
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgment day
On the bloody morning after
One tin soldier rides away

My New Year's wish is that we would have World Peace. I know I'll never see it in my own lifetime, but praying never hurt anything.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16063747/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/16063747/ Sun, 23 Dec 2007 18:51:03 PST
Anyways, today we had the Birthday Party for Jesus...so friggin cute! Today, Blake sang "Old McDonald had a farm and Bingo was his name-o! B-i-n..........B-l-a-k-e, B-l-a-k-e, B-l-a-k-e and Bingo was his name-o!" She's 3, and her twin sister, Colleen, goes "Sing it again!".

Then Blake spilled milk all over herself and I wiped her down and Maddie, her older sister, laughed when I asked, "Did ya get a wet foot?" and she nodded and I took her shoe off and there was milk in it. *sighs* Then when they were eating cake and ice cream, Colleen, who doesn't like vanilla ice cream, decided to force feed me. She took my spoon and put ice cream on it and shoved it in my mouth as I was talking to Maddie. Then I gave Maddie a piggy back ride, she's in 3rd grade but hey, she asked nicely. Then Colleen and Blake wanted one so I gave them one and Pastor asked "How old are you?" and I smiled and said "Seventeen." and he shook his head.

Then we had the Christmas play...FINALLY. The second part was better than the first part...definitely.

Tomorrow I get to finish up baking. I think I baked about 8 dozen cookies last night. I have about 10 more to bake. Thing is...it's been mostly my parents who have been eating them. I think I'm still trying to deal with what happened on Friday.

On Friday after school on the bus, these guys were calling me 'fat' and and were throwing candy and candy wrappers at my head. I ignored it but it hurt. I turned around and threw a few things back but I mainly ignored it.

Why must they pick on me? I don't talk to them and I just want to be left alone. I don't even like them. One's this black kid who said he was gonna rape me, he stopped that after I said that if he tried, he'd meet my .22 and all of hick nation. The other one is this Indian kid who thinks he's God. They call me a 'hick' and a 'hippy' too. I don't mind that, but when they call me 'fat', that hurts. I'm finally accepting my body and I'm dropping weight, I eat a bag of pretzels or a hot pretzel or a fruit salad for lunch...if I even eat lunch. Then if I eat something for supper that's not a salad or chicken, I'm lucky. I don't eat breakfast on the bus because I hate how people stare at me when I eat. It's like they've never seen someone eat. I'll eat half of a 100-calorie thing for breakfast and then I'll finish it the next day...if I want to. Since September I've lost 10 pounds, it does fluctuate because of the holidays but still, that's not bad. I've lost about 20-30 since July, mainly because I just don't feel like eating. My skinny jeans are loose and my fat jeans are really loose, I have to add another hole to my belt.

What do they want me to do? Shove a fucking toothbrush down my throat and become anorexic? I'm sorry, I have meat on my bones. Plus I'm broad shouldered and waisted, I'm fucking working stock! I have child-bearing hips (thanks you to my dear cousin for pointing this out in the middle of the cafeteria in front of the football players). It's my heritage, I come from strong, sturdy, stocky people. My dad's big boned and so am I, I can't help what genetics gave me. I'm finally thinning out a bit, can't they just leave me alone? All I want to do is be left alone and be who I am.

CAN'T I JUST BE LEFT ALONE?! ALL I WANT IS TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM AND BE ME!!

When I go back to school, they do it again, I'm gonna show them what happens when you piss this 'heathen savage' off. I'm gonna go down to the office and I'm gonna get them written up. If they get nastier with me, I'm gonna let my friend take care of them. He's protective of me and he'd kick their little asses...easily. It also helps that people think he's weak because he's skinny, but he's pretty strong. Plus I know some other people who'd love to get a piece of them for making fun of me. My... ]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15977141/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15977141/ Mon, 17 Dec 2007 17:58:13 PST
I keep smelling this stale cigarette smoke and potato water mix. It smells exactly how my Grammy's house smells when I was growing up. Thing is, I'm the only one who can smell it. My dad thinks I'm losing it and I am afraid to tell my mom because she's a little weird, she always gets screwy around the holidays. I also smelled it at school and I know for a fact that no one around me smokes and nobody else smelled it.

The idea that comes into my head when I smell it is that it's my Pappy. But why now? It's been 16 years since he died and why now, at Christmas, and why am I the only one to smell it?

Have I officially lost my mind?

Dad says it's the fryer...uh, no. That has a distinct smell and it's not that.

*sighs*

May be it's because I want to make cinnamon buns in the worst way and maybe it's Pappy telling me it's okay to make them...or it's not okay to make them...I don't know. I'm not too good with the understandings of spirits. Then again, I may just be losing it.

**********************************************

I have a story, 25, it's gonna be a little longer, I am wrapping it up at the moment. It's pretty good. Murder, romance, bringing back the dead, magic, and some pretty funny things.

That's it...

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15795890/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15795890/ Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:08:03 PST I've got high blood iron so what I did not only helps me, but also somebody who is anemic and needs my iron rich blood.

It was fun to walk from the high school to the community center in the 34/1 degree weather which felt below 32/0 degrees because of the 30-40 mile per hour WINDS. It was cold, Mr. Fehnel said that my blood was gonna freeze. It didn't, my body was nice and warm so my blood didn't freeze...otherwise, I would have been dead.

SO if you're 17 and you can donate, donate blood! Unless you are like my uncle and faint at the sight of blood.

TIPS:
Drink plenty of water
Eat a good healthy breakfast
Eat protein the night before (supposedly it helps with the red blood cells)
Just relax, they know what they are doing and just close your eyes
Don't look at the needle (I didn't, it made me feel better)


Warning:
Your arm will hurt a bit so get an ice pack and ice it or take a Tylenol

So good people of the world who have blood, go forth and donate blood. One pint can save 3...THREE, get this...LIVES!!

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15754056/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15754056/ Sat, 01 Dec 2007 18:27:19 PST
Last time I drew, I got told I was drawing porno because I was drawing a mermaid. Uh, she was more covered than the girl on the cover of their racing magazine! *rolls eyes*


Now, my dear friend Nick, along with a few other people, are accusing me of writing porn.

Well, here is my theory. Guys have their magazines, girls have romance novels. At times, romance novels are the worse of the two. Especially since they describe in 'detail' and involve the reader to picture it in their mind. *giggles* It really sucks if you're a visual reader.

My point is, so what? I have a lot of pressure from the media and from my peers and this is how I deal with it. Plus, I'm a writer and I enjoy reading romance novels (but not the regular sappy ones, I like the ones where there is murder involved, I guess you could call them mystery romance novels). Being a writer, I get ideas in my brain and I write and elaborate on my ideas and if it comes to that, I write it, but believe me, it's very very very sketchy on details...at least I think it is.

Anyways, what's wrong with me writing romance type stories? Is it because I'm still seen as the innocent girl who is as pure as freshly fallen snow (before we polluted the air and water)?? I'm not. I can out think the guys when it comes to perverted comments (unfortunately) and I think about things in bad ways, I'm human. Plus the friends I have don't help either, but I'm not the naive girl they all think I am. I mean, I am naive but I'm not pure and innocent like a child.

Anybody know what is wrong with me writing? I could be doing a lot worse!

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15683959/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15683959/ Mon, 26 Nov 2007 18:17:16 PST
Let's say two people get married and because the girl is the last one of her family, she wants to keep her last name, but also wants to use her husband's name. After she combines them, they're DeVille-Hunter...so, does the husband take the same last name?

I know, dumb question but I would like to know if someone knows the answer to this crazy question that plagues me.

And no I'm not letting her give up her last name.

Thanks!!

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15602376/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15602376/ Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:17:52 PST
THE POWDERPUFF CHEERLEADERS WEREN'T ALLOWED TO WEAR SKIRTS BUT THEY, THE STEP TEAM (who are black, go figure) WERE ALLOWED TO PLAY SOLDIER BOY?!?!?!

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I'm not racists, it's just that all of them were black and white girls mainly don't do that because it's not our thing. They were pretty good though...but what the heck were they yelling?

*******************************************************************

Soldier Boy

Ah U________________

(chorus)
Solider boy upfenme o
watch me crank and watch me roll
wath me crank that soldier boy
now super man that o
now watch me u
now watch me u
now watch me u
now watch me u

OH__________________________

******************************************************************

The lyrics are STUPID and the beat is annoying. Plus they allowed everyone to dance and all the girls were dancing like WHORES (I guess that's the new dance style), well, they might as well have been fucking each other right there in front of us because that was how close and disgustingly they were dancing with each other.

I don't know if I see it this way because I am
a. white
b. country girl
c. the child of a parent with very high moral standards
d. the fact I go to church
e. I listen to rock & roll and country (which includes gospel)
f. I'm more mature than most of the kids in my school
g. I don't fuck every guy in school

Where the FUCK did our morals go? Did they go when all of the 'ghetto' people started to move here? I think so. I'm moving out west to the Bible Belt, somewhere where morals are still used in a context I understand.

************************************************************************

I apologize for the swearing and obscene words.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15580875/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15580875/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:10:39 PST
About 5th period, my English teacher looked at me and said I didn't look good. I was pale and my cheeks were flushed, my friend blamed it on a certain boy, Allen (you know who I mean Hillary). She felt my head and said I felt like I was on fire, so she sent me down to the Nurse. I was in the library, normally in the library, I'm so hot that I have to take my sweatshirt off. I was shivering to the marrow of my bones. So at the nurse, she took my temperature and lo and behold, I scored a 101/38 degrees. That would explain the chills. So they called my dad, who had off from work today, thank you God and he picked me up.

Then I slept from noon til 3 and went to the doctor. Poor Dr. Joe, he always feels bad for me when I'm sick because he's known me since I was 9, so that's 8 years that the poor guy has seen me go through Hell for. Plus Brenda and Faith have been there that long too so they all know how bad I get when I say "I'm sick." I won't go to the doctor until I'm good and sick, like today.

***********************************************************************

Every year, around this time, I get bombarded with the LIES that are taught year after year, generation after generation about...THANKSGIVING.

The REAL meaning isn't that the Pilgrims sat and ate with the Native Americans and all was happy-happy joy-joy. Thanksgiving is another name for THANK YOU GOD FOR ALLOWING US TO WIPE OUT THE HEATHEN SAVAGES WHOSE LAND WE STOLE AND KILLED OFF WITH OUR GERMS.

You see, in the U.S. we are taught 'feel good history'. Which means, white man always feels good and everybody else feels horrible about themselves. Natives feel like savages and Blacks feel stupid, both of which aren't true, Natives aren't savages and I know some Blacks that are pretty smart...they just have no common sense.

Just to make a point, Natives lived here for thousands of years, they were rarely sick and were very cleanly. The pilgrims, they bathed once a month (like most people in Europe) and were sick all the time. Now isn't it odd that we come over here and they are wiped out by our common cold, tb, flu, small pox, ect.?? That means that white men are the filthy heathen and the Natives, were the civilized people. Now isn't that a contradictory story to what we have been taught as children? I say it is.

The truth isn't as pretty as the lies they teach us.

But every Thanksgiving, I always thank God for the blessings we have and pray for those 'heathen savages' that were killed by white man in anyway, shape, or form. I hope they all go to where ever they go, some The Great Spirit, some the Happy Hunting Ground, others go to other places that my brain is forgetting.

So, off to do homework and work on feeling better.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15485101/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15485101/ Mon, 12 Nov 2007 20:04:43 PST
Also, in Orchestra, this one girl who I can't stand goes to me "You don't play."
"Yeah I do."
"Your bow doesn't move."
"Yeah it does."
"No it doesn't."
"I play."
"We watch you, your bow doesn't move." (that pissed me off, shouldn't THEY be PLAYING? I don't know, maybe I'm weird)
"I have no room to make big bows, I don't want to knock Staci out or break her nose. (Believe me, I have a good down swing, that's how I busted Brad's nose.)
"Then tell her to move."
"Move where? We don't have room so as it is!" (Fit twenty people with chairs, stands, and instruments in a room that is an old renovated closet...seriously, that room is SMALL."

Finally we got it worked out, after threatening Nick to freaking stop butting in on the conversation. He's become a little obsessive in protecting me and keeping me away from the Queens of the Orchestra.

Now for some happy stuff. Nick says I'm not a Vampire so I can't do the whole 'jump a few stairs and land like nothing happened' like Mick does on Moonlight. Uh, I always jump the last two steps, even on the bus (which is totally unsafe), I mean it's about 3 to 4 feet from the street. But anyways he scolded me and I said "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I'm a big girl, I can take care of my self." and he's like, "I'm your little brother so I have the right to worry about you."

I kind of consider those who I am close to as my brothers and sisters and he's kind of like a little brother because I have the natural instinct to protect him in a way. Odd, I'd never protect Tyler though. Then again he isn't involved in what we are.

Oh, question. If you consider males you care about as your brothers...when you marry them (which I'm not planning on doing ANYTIME soon)...is that considered incest? Yeah, that's a question I have. I shouldn't read Egyptian mythology, aka The Cycle of Incest Mythology. Okay, done rambling.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15453073/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15453073/ Sat, 10 Nov 2007 18:07:31 PST
Anyways, it's officially become cold. The nights get down to 18 degrees or more and I swear my room is a freezer. Plus my mom decided to turn it down to 62 degrees last night, so that meant my room, which is over the garage, was about 56-58 degrees. Thank God for blankets and my love of sleeping in the cold. Oh, plus sleeping bags are WONDERFUL. I think I like sleeping in my sleeping bag too much...I've been sleeping it in since my birthday, it was my birthday present. It's one of those 'mummy' ones and it's sooooooooooo comfortable and warm. My cousin swears I'm part vampire because I love the cold, I sleep in something that resembles a coffin, and I'm cold to the touch.

Seriously, I took my hands and I put them on my friend's cheek and he freaked "Where the Hell have your hands been? In the morgue?"

and I said "Yup! The morgue and in the freezer with Mick!"

and I shouldn't have said that because he said "Oh you wish you were in the freezer with him. Bad Longenberger, thinking about being with a dead guy."

and then my other friend goes "Uh, she's the one who wanted to have a dead Pharaoh's children because she felt bad that he didn't have an heir to carry on the throne."

and I stood there and said "What? You said if I could go back in time-"

"You're a freak, you know that Longenberger?"

"I'm a freak and proud of it."

and our poor orchestra director stood there and said "I don't want to know, I don't want to know."

Poor dude, he has to deal with us for 5 whole days in April. Nine times out of ten my room is probably going to been near his so that he can keep an eye on me and my friend to make sure we aren't up to no good. He did that last year too, he caught me sneaking out to the beach at insane hours of the morning (6 am) to take pictures. He said I had to take an adult so I had to find an adult, thank God for him one of the moms were up or was going to have to come with me to the beach so that I could take pictures.

Anyways, that will be fun, me, two of my best friends, and a bunch of friends I adore hanging with.

Wow...off topicness rocks!!

Now...time for the pumpkin pie and whipped cream!!

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15352465/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15352465/ Sat, 03 Nov 2007 21:13:06 PDT
NCIS
VOLTRON
and now...MOONLIGHT

It's a really good show. Plus, the Vampire, is in love with a mortal and she's in love with him. It's kind of funny. Friday's episode was amusing, Beth (the mortal) tasted this drug which was made from the blood of vampires and it makes her all...uh, sexy?? So she tries to get Mick (the Vampire) to go upstairs with her and he does, except he takes her to his shower and I guess that by showering her down (they were both fully clothed) and holding her and telling her "It's the drug. It's the drug." (which I think also helped him not turn her like she was begging him to do) It was a good episode. *giggles*

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15231616/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15231616/ Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:44:57 PDT
My friend's mom is being a bitch and said that she refuses to drive him five flipping minutes over to my house to go trick-or-treating...plus it's RAINING!

Plus, this is the last year for me to go trick-or-treating. I'm getting TOO OLD to do it anymore.

Yeah, anyways, tomorrow, I turn 17. Yeah, whoopie. I don't really care, it's just another fucking year. Though, it is one more year till I get OUT of here! *yay*


So the only thing I have to look forward to is Northampton's Trick-Or-Treat that I'm going to go to and hang out with my friends and Moonlight. Moonlight ROCKS! It's about this Vampire who is a private detective and in love with a human...it's AWESOME. Just check out the site and watch the clips, it's a really good show. [link]

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15148751/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15148751/ Sat, 20 Oct 2007 19:38:02 PDT
Then Moose came along and we talked and then later on he gave a loud "GOOD MORNING!" and I said "GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO MOOSE!" and he looked at me funny, he ain't the only one who can be loud first thing in the morning

Then he gave a riveting speech. "We did not come here to fail these tests! We came here to CONQUER them! So let's go in and CONQUER them!" At least he kept his shirt on!

They were hard. My advice, PAY ATTENTION IN MATH CLASS and get a good night's sleep the night before the tests.

*************************************************************************

Then I went to my cousin's 14th birthday party and had fun. The only issue was that her dad (my uncle) and her step-dad and my other uncle were pretty buzzed. I hate when they drink. I wish they didn't drink but you know what they say about wishes.

Her step-dad screamed at her and she got really upset. I calmed her down a bit and she went back to partying. Her younger half-sister, Lindsay was so cute. She loves to poke me in the ribs...everyone does.

Then I got to play with my cousin's rats. They're pretty cool. My Uncle Mark is grossed out by them. He hates rodents in general.

Anyways, I had fun being with her, I need to hang with her more often. She's from a whole new world. She's an inner city girl, I'm a hick. Ever see a 'Gangsta' Polock?



Egypt

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15063724/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/15063724/ Sun, 14 Oct 2007 18:48:15 PDT
Killed him
(brought him back from the dead, gotta love magical Lunar eclipses and the power of love)

Nearly killed him half a dozen times

Turned him into a puppy and the girl he loves and who loves him back then washes him down *giggles* He was covered in dirt from hiding in the vent from Lotor. Poor guy, that's gotta be kind of violating.

I'm a cruel writer.

Poor Commander Keith Hunter.

PLUS:

Keith is incessantly being teased by his best friend, Lt. Lance Andrews about his feelings for Princess Allura.

He has issues with Allura because he feels unworthy of her because he's a pilot and she's a princess.

Lt. Lance Andrews says inappropriate things that tick Keith off galore.

Ex.
“Okay, our plan was to get her back into your arms…not your into your bed.” Lance snickered.

“Man, you’d do anything to be on top of her!” Lance laughed.

“Hey Keith, does Nanny know that you’re ‘here’ in Allura’s chambers ‘alone’?” Lance said slyly.

“Hehe, fruitfulness, I wonder what he means by that.” Lance giggled softly.

“Man, it’s about time you two got out of bed, we were about to send in a search and rescue party in there after you two!”

“Hey, I thought I told you two to get a room, not a cave!”

“It’s good to know that you two are doing something other than sleeping all day and having fun all night in…I’m gonna shut up now.” Lance said as he felt them all glare at him.

Need I go on??

******************************

When it comes to his former second-in-command, Commander Sven B'Yourn...he's got it bad in his own way.

His wife (Princess Romelle) is:

Stubborn

A loud mouth

Dirty-minded...okay, not really, it's just that she has a tendency to say some 'interesting' things and has issues with certain clothing (aka dresses that aren't very modest that she keeps trying to make Allura wear for Keith)

An Instigator when it comes to trying to get Keith to admit his feelings, which causes some tense moments

She can't keep a secret

Plus, he almost dies and gets caught eavesdropping and has to suffer in the heat (he hates the heat)

AND he gets teased by Lance too.

“Man…I think Sven is in another world, look at him, all smiles…and humming his Norwegian songs. He started that right after he married Romelle, how much do you want to be him and her were up to something.”

************************************************************************

That's it for now...I'll find some more things later on.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14931382/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14931382/ Fri, 05 Oct 2007 18:44:55 PDT
1. I probably should get psychiatric help for my obsession with Zorro, Egypt, Sven B'Yourn (but how can someone not love the funny talking Norwegian?) , Voltron, The Mummy, and various other stupid things.

2. I'm disorganized...I live out of a massive binder for school...which I need to clean out sometime within the next year...

3. Somewhere under the mess of my desk, I have gum, about five packs of it, yet every two weeks I have to go and buy a new pack.

4. I take pictures of dumb things, if it's pretty to me, I take a picture.

5. Though I am mature for my age and when I'm around adults I act somewhat proper, when I'm with my friends, I act like a normal, immature, teenager.

6. I'm not comfortable being alone with my uncles because they aren't comfortable with me, mainly because I'm a girl and they don't know how to deal with a girl. Plus they still think I'm four and that they need to protect me from everything and anything and are sexists.

7. I'm easily fascinated by stupid things, I got a crystal and I've had it for two weeks and still, I'm fascinated by it.

8. For some reason, Turkey, Russia, and the theme song for Zorro (1956) are perfectly good answers for anything to me.

9. For some odd reason, after 12 years, my best friend still hangs around me for unknown reasons...and the same goes for her.

10. I read odd books, I especially like romance novels that involve finding murderers or cowboys and historical fiction. (I could be reading Vampire sex books though *giggles* Only my friends would be amused by that.)

********************************************************************

List 8 odd things about you

1. I like shiny things

2. My Voltron Fan-fics truly show how messed up I am

3. I'm a sucker for happy endings

4. I have a bad tea habit *looks at gallon jug of sweet tea and takes a swig*

5. I can get 8 hours of sleep and I'll be miserable all day, I can get 6 hours of sleep and I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed.

6. Electricity is attracted to me because of all the iron in my blood.

7. At the age of almost 17, I have a bad knee, two bad ankles, a bad wrist, and I can tell when the weather is changing by the cracking and aching of my joints.

8. According to a lot of people, I'm going to get married, have five kids, and raise them in the same church that I was raised. That's all nice and dandy, but first...I need to get a boyfriend...though I think a certain sister of a guy friend is playing match-maker with me and him. Church + me = match-making fun for everyone but me and the matchee.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14832227/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14832227/ Fri, 28 Sep 2007 19:39:41 PDT
So, thanks for the concern, but I can find someone on my own. Extra information, the rings I wear on my right hand, yeah, those are mine, not anyone else's. Sorry, yet again I have dashed everyone's hope.

***************************************************************************

Not been feeling too artsy of lately, mostly been writing fanfics and doing tons of homework. Now I have to defend the sanity of my closest friend and prove to the whole school I'm not a lesbian.

That is the thing I don't get. I can barely stand my own gender, so, why would I date my own gender if I can't stand it to begin with? That is why I hang with guys and act like one...except I'm not as loose moralled as they are and I have manners. Plus I don't get why looking at pictures of scantly clad people is supposed to do for someone....seriously, anyone understand the whole thing?

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14398896/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14398896/ Wed, 29 Aug 2007 16:50:11 PDT They looked at me like I had and they were really quiet for a long time...it was funny.

So then when I got to school, I waited outside like an idiot with the 7th and 8th graders, said 'hello' to the ones I knew and looked for my friends. Seeing my two friends, I ran up to them and tackle hugged Alina. *giggles* Poor Kim was scared of my hyperness. (I was very hypers for no reason)

Then after homeroom and first period, we went to the new part of the school...it's...weird. There was sand on the pavement and I yelled "We're at the beach!" and my friend yelled "Now where's my bathing suit and my parasol!" (I think she was kidding)

Then walking in, it was odd...it was like being in a whole other school district. Going to where our lockers are...my eyes popped out of my head. Practically yelling, I said "Oh my God, I feel like I'm in STAR WARS!!" The hallway is white...with black lockers...I don't know why, but it reminded me of Star Wars...it was weird.

Then all day I got losted and confused. Never follow Moose, he doesn't know where he's going, seriously.

So far, I've only had minor issues with the people in my classes. A.P. Government...I have Alyssa...*grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* I hate her guts. For math, I have Ashley, who is about as brainless as Galen.

Galen is not only in my math class (oh God), but also in my chem class and my chem lab (they're letting him near fire...heck, they're letting me near fire)

I also have one of my closest friends, Sano in my lunch, Chem class, and Chem lab and study hall *YAY!*

So far all of my teachers are nice...well, they seem nice. Well, now back to making up for lost time on my fan fics!

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14262173/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14262173/ Mon, 20 Aug 2007 19:27:57 PDT
I don't think I should be in charge of naming my children.

Alexandria Agrippina
Kyler Kevork
Anja Rosetta
Lars Thor
Olav Noak

Oh yeah, lovely names, names that you'd hear everyday. Hey, at least I don't still want to name my own children horrible names like Cleopatra, Jedidiah, and other weird names.

****************************

I only have 9 more days of freedom...and I still have to finish my fanfics. I want one more week. Can't they just send us back AFTER labor day? Not BEFORE?

I don't care if we get out the second week of June and not the first. I don't want to go to school in August.

This year, I plan on causing some havoc. I'm sick of everyone and if they want a piece of me, I'll give it to them, because I'm not in a people kind of mood. I've got my MP3 full of music and I don't have to listen to anyone's shit. I'm not going to be everyone's shoulder to cry on and I'm gonna not be afraid to be me. I'm raising Hell.

If people can't stand me for who I am, they need to go get a life.

Now I'm going to go back to my plans on how to take over the Communists and give them some of their own medicine. You know what they say about revenge.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14229847/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14229847/ Sat, 18 Aug 2007 18:20:35 PDT
Sunday!

Got up at 6, after 4 1/2 hours of sleep, finished packing, played on the computer, ate, helped dad, ate again and came to church. (I was hungry, I missed lunch and supper the night before because of the concert). We had a small group of 15 kids. I hung with my buddy Justin and his friend Jaren.

Went to beach after a FOUR hour drive and a stop at a rest stop where the guys stacked salt and pepper shakers. Men *eye roll* Ate supper and then had some fun on the boardwalk. Around 9:30 we came back and I wrote some of my fanfic. I kept it clean, never knew who was reading over my shoulder...*looks over right shoulder and glares at mom*

I talked to this girl from the other church that was there, her name was Mia and she was pretty cool. Her and a girl from my church liked the same guy and kind of had a little spat. It was very amusing.

Around 11:40 I went up and got ready for bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. About 12:30-1 am the other groups came back from the movie on the beach. Then the three other girls in my room came in and one of the guys had his head phones that loud it woke me up, but I just closed my eyes and fell asleep. I slept on and off and then I got mad and got up around 6:45 on Monday morning.

MONDAY

It was beautiful out, 74 degrees (I guess and the radio confirmed it, not bad) The Phillies won *whoot* against the braves. I was surrounded by the chickadees and they were ripping a twizler apart.

Went to the beach, burned my back...*rolls eyes* I have a demented tan line on my legs, oh well. Then I took a two hour nap, it was nice.

Then we hung out and we threw a football around. I nailed Justin in the head *whistles innocently* then it got stuck in the rails...that was cool.

Then Ben came from the medical center. He got a piece of drift wood, about 3 or 4 inces long in his foot. It almost came all the way through the top of his foot. They cut his foot open and gave him 5 shots of Novocaine! We got him a wheel chair since he isn't supposed to walk on it. I don't know who had more fun, the guys or him with it.

This one girl proved her blondness.

"What's gravel?" "How does a wheel chair move?" "What's illiterate?"

She's stupider than a rock. I joked "What's a brain?" (in her stupid dumb whiny voice) and the one guy said "Something she don't have." and we all laughed.

She's not retarded, she's mentally absent (I love my mind).

Then we went to the boardwalk and went on the piers. We rode a lot of the rides. Teacups (love), roller coasters (love and awesome), tornado (Justin and his man hands *giggles* boys are so weird, especially teenage ones), and lots of snacking. We came back around 10:30, the first ones and relaxed a bit.

Then all hell broke loose when the guys returned, they ditched the girls.

I hit the sack around midnight, the rest fell asleep around 2-4 am.

TUESDAY

Got up at 7:30, it was a bit chilly at 68. The Mentally Absent one and another girl were up, but they stayed in their room and pointed at me.

Went to the waterpark and stayed in the kiddie pool, it was 4 ft deep and it was cool. It felt good. After almost two hours of horsing around in the kiddie pool with the boys, we rode some slides and then ate. Then spent some time tanning. My right arm got burned pretty good and my back is killing me. My face is awesomely red.

Then we made our own pizzas...very interesting.

Then we had our own little service on the beach. It was really cool and different. All the while, Anna was chasing the birds and was surrounded by about 50 seagulls (which were watching me eat taffy as I wrote this in my notebook) Then we went for a swim around 7:30 at night. Then around 8:15 we decided to go back and change. On our way back we met about 100-200 people singing and chanting and carrying signs about the miracles and the things that happened in Jesus's life. Then we saw a statue of Mary, Jesus's mother, mother of the apostles and lots more people. Jenine said that they were celebrating the life Mary gave to Jesus. Since water is seen as a life force, they took the statue out and they dunked the statue in the ocean.

Now for the magical question of the day! If we are dipping statues (which are made in our own image, there is no way Mary was that white) and praising them...aren't we worshipping an idol?

They looked at us like we were the devil because we were walking away.

Going back, we met up with what was left of them and we walked around the boardwalk, bored to dead, and eating ice cream.

Got a henna tattoo, it's an ankh, but it... ]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14125383/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14125383/ Sat, 11 Aug 2007 21:23:32 PDT

Tonight, we went to see BIG & RICH with COWBOY TROY. Oh My Dear LORD!

We got THIRD ROW SEATS.

It was AWESOME!!

Cowboy Troy sang 3 songs. He rocks!

Big & Rich sang most of their songs and two very interesting songs!

They sang 'You Shook Me All Night Long' by AC/DC and 'Fat Bottom Girls' by Queen.

I got some great shots.

My ears are still pounding.

Cheers to Big & Rich and Cowboy Troy.

I have an interesting shot of Big Kenny

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14081215/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14081215/ Wed, 08 Aug 2007 20:43:31 PDT
First thing I do in the morning is I throw two regular tea bags in a big mug, put water in it and put it in the microwave. For lunch I'll drink ice tea. Between lunch and supper, I'll have Earl Grey tea. For supper I'll have iced tea, and then between supper and when I go to bed, I'll drink a cup of Earl Grey tea again.

Hey, it's better than drinking Mountain Dew, I had to stop that, it was taking a toll on me. I couldn't sleep because I had so much caffeine and sugar in me that I would stay up till dawn. Yeah, not good.

************************************************************************

This Saturday, I get to see Big & Rich at drunk fest...aka Musikfest.

***********************************************************************

This Sunday I leave for the lovely Wildwood, NJ. Again I will be taking pictures of the ocean and get attacked by the bacon stealing bastard of a seagull. Hopefull, that won't happen.

************************************************************************

I'm writing some fanfics. They're pretty interesting and shall never be shown to the public masses...ok, I may put them on fanfic.com, I don't know, I have to finish them up first.

At the moment, one is 56 pages and counting. The other is 19 pages and counting.

It's amazing how amazingly the stupid/sick/weird/wrong things I can write. Some of it is almost as bad a romance novel *shudders*

Like I told my cousin, this is my way of dealing with the stress and pressure put on me by my peers and the media. I could be doing worse.

**********************************************************************

So now I'm off to sleep, cheers!

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14048147/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/14048147/ Mon, 06 Aug 2007 18:06:04 PDT
-You thought everyone in the world had 2 or 3 different choices for ABC NBC CBS and FOX (this reception is getting fuzzy, there must be a storm in Philly, I'll just switch to the New York Channel).

-You've never had to explain that you are really from Pennsylvania, not someplace in the middle east (Bethlehem, Egypt, Nazareth, Emmaus).

-You think Industrial Parks are better uses of the land than Farms.

-You have a relation to the land for residential, commercial, or industrial reasons.

-You actually can show people the dairy where your milk comes from.

-If it takes less than ten minutes to get to a mall but more than 10 minutes to park and get inside.

-If you can go to a church bazaar every night all summer and not go to the same one twice (and not win at bingo either).

-If you lived somewhere between Mario Andretti's place and Larry Holmes' place and yet never watched a Race or a Prize Fight.

-If you have rooted for either side in a Lehigh - Lafayette game.

-If you prefer Yocco's over Pott's or vice versa.

-If you think Quakertown is far away (25 minutes by car) but you think nothing of driving 15 minutes one way to pick up a friend and then backtrack another 25 to get your girlfriend and then another 10 to get your friend's girlfriend and then another 20 to go to the movies on a Friday night.

-If you've ever been to a 'latz.

-If you've ever said to yourself "Damn, I need two more tickets" while attending a platz.

-If you or any of your relatives have ever "worked the beer tent."

-When you and your co-workers discuss the "game last weekend" on Monday morning, you're referring to high school football.

-You think the PPL Building and Martin's Tower are skyscrapers.

-You can get pierogies in every restaurant.

-You think the Morning Call has a great sports section.

-You've been stuck in traffic on Rt 22.

-You know that 7th Street, MacArthur Road and Rt 145 are the same stretch of road.



...below are all added from what you say, i don't change them, so there you go...

-You know what a tasty cake is, and when you go out of town you take boxes and boxes with you.

-You've been to Dorney Park millions of times and can recite, "thank you and enjoy your stay here at dorney park...and wild water kingdom." in the same voice as the woman who says it.

-A-Treat Soda, nuff said.

-If you know at least 10 or more people that have attendend or are attending a community college (LCCC, NACC).

-You call it a hoagie, not a sub, and deffinitly not a hero.

-You know what quoits are, and play it at just about every picnic, party, and place you go.

-You call it soda, not pop.

-You know what Turkey Hill Tea is, and drink it regularly.

-You think Martin Towers IS the Empire State building! (aparently some people do?)

-It is illegal for a man to have an erection in public (Allentown). haha

-You know what a porkroll is, and actually like them.

-You hate anything and everything about Parkland High School, except maybe a couple of people, unless of course you went there.

-Someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there.

-"Vacation" means going anywhere south of Philadelphia for the weekend.

-You measure distance in hours.

-You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

-You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

-You know that Billy Joel's song is about Bethlehem and not Allentown.

-You tell people The Rock graduated from your high school (Freedom) and no one believes you.

-All the kids you know from New York and Jersey think you're amish.

-You can buy Yuengling from the plant it's brewed at.

-You or someone you know have gotten a citation for goin' to the quarry.

-You have at least 10 friends with the last names Cruz, Sanchez, Rivera, or Rodriguez.

-You spell/say it Bethlum not Bethlehem.

-You remember when Beca was still a good football team.

-You know the words to the Service Electric Song.

-You know that South Whitehall Township and Allentown are different, even though mail is sent to Allentown (and probably the same with other townships).

-You know that there are covered bridges all over the place, and contemplated following those ran... ]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13922840/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13922840/ Sun, 29 Jul 2007 04:31:44 PDT
So this morning I got up and I made breakfast for myself. A 24 oz. bottle of Pepsi and french toast sticks. Mom came out and flipped as she saw me drink half the bottle in one swig, I knew she was coming so I purposely did it to tick her off, though I didn't technically swig it, I chugged it, in a very unlady-like fashion (funny, I'm dressed to the 'T' as a young lady, yet I act worse than a boy) and then felt sick from the bubbles in my tummy. So now mom is mad and said that my own diet will kill me. YAY!! Now...were's that box of sugar cubes, I'm gonna eat a few of those before church so that I'm good and hyper for my reading and that I can stay awake.

Mom also has us put down what we eat too, it's annoying, mine is normally:

chicken, salad with unhealthy but tasty garbage on it, bbq sauce, water, water, gum, gum, antacids to make me feel better because mom burnt the chicken again, more gum, and waaaaaaaaay too much sugar.

I'm bad...

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13893039/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13893039/ Thu, 26 Jul 2007 21:35:27 PDT
1. Be as quiet as you can be.
2. Noises are magnified at nighttime.
3. Laughing is strictly forbidden.
4. Don't beat up family during the night, the sounds can be taken wrong
5. Don't make funny faces or hand motions while on the computer in the middle of the night.
6. If you must dance to the theme song of something, do it quietly.
7. Don't talk to yourself.
8. If you have to lip sync to a song...anything makes an appropriate microphone (Sorry Pokey.)
9. Making claws and low growling songs can be taken as a sign that you are a werewolf or you're losing it (I was pretending to be a lion from Voltron)
10. If your parents ask why you're up so late, 'I've been updating the computer and scanning it' is a perfect excuse.
11. Saying "Voltron! Defender of the Universe!" like a robot at 1 a.m. warrants your head on a silver platter.
12. Giggling over videos on youtube is strictly forbidden, but very unavoidable.
13. Eating ice cream is ok, but don't make a mess at the computer and don't bang around too much.
14. Even in the dark, in the dead of night, Sven still talks funny, and Allura and Keith are a perfect pair. Along with the other 'erfect' pairs in my little world, Will and Elizabeth, Tony and Ziva, Connor and Caitlin, ect.

Just felt like putting this up...

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13784377/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13784377/ Sat, 21 Jul 2007 22:14:18 PDT
Well, I'm heartbroken, upset, pissed off, and I'm a weepy mess...when I'm by myself.

I lied and told dad that it's just mood swings due to being a girl, mom was 'nice' enough not to tell dad and she doesn't want me talking to him. I think a few days won't hurt, I need to think and think rationally and stop being tough and cry and cry to a friend, not to myself in my room in the dark with my blankets and stuffed animals. I have to be careful I never want dad to know.

My heart hurts and I'm completely numb. I feel as if something died in me. As if I've completely lost my way. My whole body hurts. Mind, Body, Soul, Spirit, all ache and throb. I want to get out of here, I want to gallop across an endless field and just sob as I ride in the rain. I feel horrible.

If I'm not on here a lot or on the Internet or anything else, this is why, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry My Angel. Please forgive me but I just can't talk to you after what kind of betrayal I've gone though because of you, it's gonna take a while.

************************************************************************

The Rules:
The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things/hates about yourself" and people who get tagged MUST write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things/hates as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose
the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours...

tagged by

1) I can listen to the same song over and over again, all day, doesn't bother me one bit. Which I'm doing now...
2) Betraying me is like making deals with the devil, something one shouldn't do
3) I rarely ever cry and if I do, there is something extremely wrong
4) I easily can change my moods, my moods are like the weather, which also reflects my mood too. Sunny, 9/10 I'm happy, cloudy, 9/10 I'm sad.
5) I love to watch shows that I watched as a kid...even if they are stupid.
6) Don't ever challenge me about something I know is right, you will not win.

************************************************************************

If I'm a little bitchy, deal with it, I'm a teenager and I've got a lot of adult issues that I can't handle all at once.

************************************************************************

Outside I look fine, I'm great, but inside I'm falling apart and confused. I feel like puzzle that's been mixed up with other puzzles and missing a few pieces. I have no one to turn to, no one to trust, all I have is myself because I once again have been abandoned by everyone and everything.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13654893/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13654893/ Sun, 08 Jul 2007 05:20:25 PDT
If you have a view, someone will attack you, saying you're wrong or that you don't know anything. Then they have the nerve to go and talk about you on the message board calling you a whore or a bitch or whatever else they feel like calling you.

I went on one, commented on an article and I was told 'You're a stupid American, get off of this" and they used some pretty colorful language. The article was about Egyptian museums and artifacts. I stated a few good ideas on how to raise money.

"To raise money, a good idea would be to have other museums help fund the Cairo museum. Also making the museum energy efficient would help too, since it would help lower the costs of electricity and the money saved could be used to fund research and education programs.

Museums all around the world need to help one and other. We must protect our history. It is our right as children of these great civilizations to protect and pass on the great and horrible deeds they have done, which is reflected in their artifacts.

That is my take."

That's all I said and I got flamed.

One person said I hated Arabs and Muslims, another said I hate Christians, one said I hated Jews! I never said that! Plus I have nothing against any of them, I just don't like stupid jihaddist. The Muslim religion is about peace, not killing as many non-Muslim and Arab people as possible.

So I just read what they wrote back and if I could, I would of strangled at least half of them because they had no clue what the Hell they were talking about!

I didn't write back and I'm not, I'm not gonna make myself stoop to their standards.

But somewhere out there someone agreed with me and I thank them for doing so. Not all Americans are completely stupid...just most of our leaders and main people are.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13649086/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13649086/ Sat, 07 Jul 2007 16:55:52 PDT
Tried for an HOUR to post a thingy on myspace...it says "we're sorry but we've experience and ERROR"

It also refused to let me onto my page. :/

Myspace is evil...

Then DA is always timing out

plus I'm tormenting poor innocent japanese beetles

I wish they wouldn't mate right infront of me as I'm trying to enjoy the sun and pick black raspberries. I mean, it's kind of gross. So I then got a bowl and a lid and I captured some male ones and let them fight...I was amused then. They aren't native and they kill our native plants...so I torture them. I leave other bugs alone, including wasp which bite me for no flipping reason...stupid bugs.

Then instead of being able to talk to my Sweetheart, I get stuck going along to see fireworks...*sighs* I like fireworks, but I'd rather be talking.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13598229/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13598229/ Tue, 03 Jul 2007 20:57:13 PDT [link] Could you pass the U.S. Citizenship test?

I got a 95%...what can you get?

Happy 4th of July everyone!


My personalDNA Report

Pretty sweet.

If you want to take it here is the [link]

I'm working on two stories right now...and I'm stuck.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!! ]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13437575/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13437575/ Thu, 21 Jun 2007 19:19:38 PDT
I'm a penguin!! *waddles like one* Ok, when the legs don't start to you're knees, you waddle or fall.

Kids are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo cute!! I help teach the 3 year olds. So cute!! They shove packing peanuts up their noses, eat snack like horses, eat pebbles, have fun, colour, eat, run around like maniacs, and have temper tantrums. They are camera hams.

I love them.



other stuff:

I don't have a job this summer, I've applied at 3 different places and nobody is hiring. I need a job, I really do. I need money for gas and money for having fun, plus I want to put some away for the fair. I'd really like a job but nobody is hiring and if they are, they never call me back. I'm not a bad person, I'm an easy learner, but I'm not 18, I don't have a license, and I'm not a college kid. Hey, teenagers need jobs too! We want to have a little fun before we get to college.

I'm also in physical therapy because this one girl decided to trip me when I was running the mile 2 months ago in gym class and after TWO MONTHS we finally got somewhere *sighs* my knee is miserably sore after therapy. Especially when I have it Monday and Tuesday, off Wednesday, and then on Thursday and off till Monday.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13368398/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13368398/ Sat, 16 Jun 2007 12:49:57 PDT
Things that I don't like about it

No:

Cargo pants or shorts or any style of pants with large outer pockets

Hair length or styles, including facial hair, that constitute a health or safety hazard unless the student has been authorized to wear a type of cover approved by the administration.

Hair length or styles, including facial hair, that cause disruption to the educational process. (OMG! He has a mohawk that is dyed red white and blue! OMG!...bull crap, that is totally not a distraction, maybe when he first walks in, but it's his hair.)

Any body-piercing jewelry other than in the ears; all jewelry is subject to administrative review (they say I can't wear my cartouche, I'm gonna raise Hell.)

Clothing and/or insignias that falsely represent military service and/or legal authority uniforms, including camouflage shirts, skirts, pants, and shorts (so that means no more camouflage pants, WTF?! I wear mine all the time! So this means I have to go and get 3 more pairs of jeans...great! Spend more money when money is already tight! I wear my camouflage stuff to show my support of the United States military! Hello?! It has the AMERICAN FLAG on it?!)

Jeans or pants may be no longer than the bottomof the heel on the shoe (pants cannot be dragging on the floor) (Ok, I buy my jeans a little long because like them that way, I'm still growing, I grew a half an inch this year, the doctor says I can grow up to an inch yet. They have any issues, I'm raising Hell, more Hell than they've ever seen)

The only thing I can't complain about is that they allowed us to have hoodies/hooded sweatshirts. They are nice, they keep us warm in our freezing school...plus pocket gives place to stick books and keep hands warm.

I wonder if I can still wear my plaid shirts *wonders* we'll see!

now reading other sheets it now says

Students attending the Northampton Area High School and Northampton Area Middle School myay use backpacks to bring their books to the the schools. However, the students will be required to keep the backpack in their lockers during the school day.

There are 2000 kids in my school, we have 4 minutes to get from class to class, I'm sorry but I'm not carrying 3 books, which weight 7 to 8 lbs a piece along with a binder that weights about 10 for 3 hours, backpacks keep our stuff together and prevent it from being kicked around and keep them protected! So now there is gonna be more kids dropping books, more issues in the halls because of that, and more books are gonna get damaged. And who pays for them? The tax payers. I hate our school district. I thought Mr. Falstich had more brains than that. Our school district is ran by complete ASS HOLES! I'm going to the school board meeting now.

I'm gonna raise Hell about this one...now where is that email address.

]]> ~AdmiralLee01 http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13348821/ http://AdmiralLee01.deviantart.com/journal/13348821/ Thu, 14 Jun 2007 21:57:00 PDT
My little THIRTEEN year old cousin brought home porn, not just magazines but movies! I knock on his door, no answer, so I walk in, and I died...part of me died right then and there. So I dragged him into the hall and screamed at him, I mean I gave him HELL.

For the last few months he's been treating me and his mom like shit. We all figured "Oh, he's trying to become a man" that type of stuff. Next his girlfriend breaks up with him and says to me that he's a pervert, this comes no shock because, hello, teenage boy...ok, boys in general.

After I dragged him in the hall he decided to swear at me, called me a whore and proceeded to degrade me, so I grabbed him by the throat and I made him look me in the eyes and he still wouldn't shut up, so I did what I shouldn't of done, I nailed him below the belt and he laid on the floor crying and I said "Since I'm a whore you should be able to hit me. Come on be a 'man' and hit me." and he looked up and he goes "No." and I said "What the fuck is with you? Porn? Your parents raised you a whole Hell of a lot better than that." and he gave me the dumbest answer I ever heard "I'm trying to figure out women."

After trying not to laugh my ass off, I told him "My dear, I'm a teenage girl and I don't get other teenage girls...heck I don't even get you guys anymore...why? Why must you watch that horrid stuff? Women aren't all what's below the belt and below the neck." and he looks at me and said "Then why do all the girls wear low cut tops?" and I said "Because they're blind, they don't realize that they look like whores." and he goes "Ok...but the whole sex issue...what's the big deal?" and I looked at him and I said "Truthfully, I have no clue. I'll tell you one thing my dear, be kind, some what understanding, truthful, be a gentleman and the most important part, be yourself, not a perverted sicko, because you're too nice of a guy to start acting like that." and he goes "So if I act like that, I'll get a girl?" and I said "You act like that and one day you'll get married, which you better not be planning on for about 20 years." and he said "Okay." and I looked at him and said "Women aren't sex object, we have feelings too, some of us still have honor and decency and are looking for a prince to share the joys of life with, not just have sex." and he goes "Please stop saying that word." and I kind of laughed and said "Okay, the main point is don't be a prick and screw anything that moves, be a gentleman and get rid of that porn before I kill you." and he smiled and he gave it to me and I hid it from his parents.

That stuff is gonna be taken over to his friend's house and I'm gonna give his friend a piece of my mind. He's 18, my little cousin is 13, he don't need to see that and I don't want him to think that women are sex objects. What ever happened to the whole concept of you get married and then have a family. I mean it's not hard, get married and then have a family.

I don't know, I'm just really pissed off at guys. I know so many guys who would do anything to have sex with a girl and unfortunately I know one that doesn't care what her answer is, #1 reason I don't go to parties. Yes, thinking pervertedly is what most of the guys do, even us girls, but it's all in fun and it's to break the strain that is put on us by the media and by society. None of us are ready to jump in bed yet, we're kids yet, but it's so shocking to see a 12 year old pregnant. There was a 9th grader, who had 1 kid and one was on the way. Her boyfriend is a senior or a junior. I don't care, that's too young! I'm sorry, this isn't the 19th century where we're lucky if we make it to the age of 40.

I'm just frustrated and pissed off. I feel like crying and I feel like punching a whole in the wall.

I'm so confused, so angry, why? At times I wonder why God hasn't destroyed the earth for it's filthiness. So this is what is in store for me as I get older. Can I go back to kindergarten were the biggest thing to be afraid of was coodies and the most serious thing to worry about was weather or not you were on Santa's good list or bad list?

]]> ~AdmiralLee01