http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Ailoura-aithe&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Ailoura-aithe en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:11:31 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/28585381/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/28585381/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 08:57:38 PST ...tigerbread does not fix all.

i'm overtired, overstressed and coming down with something, so here's some things that have made me squee in the past few days:
[link] - check out panel 4
[link] - xkcd 666
[link] -
[link] - this will make no sense if you haven't watched the rest of the Guild, which you should do. *Catch Guild fever*

in other news: we're training up a new drummer for my band, What the Cat Dragged in AND we've obtained a violinist, who is awesome also, i'm currently working on a piece for uni which involves combining Monty Python's Life of Brian with Steve Reich's Different Trains [link] seriously, i love the opportunities this course gives me

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/28305812/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/28305812/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:58:51 PST [link]

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/26690598/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/26690598/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 11:16:03 PDT Not now.

My grandad died yesterday.

It's just not fair.

Also, my laptop's called in sick. I'm thinking of baking a carrot cake. Felicia Day can just about make me smile [link]

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25970377/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25970377/ Wed, 15 Jul 2009 18:28:24 PDT Faith, you're driving me away
You do it everyday
You don't mean it
But it hurts like hell

My brain says I'm receiving pain
A lack of oxygen
From my life support
My iron lung

We're too young to fall asleep
Too cynical to speak
We are losing it
Can't you tell?

We scratch our eternal itch
A twentieth century bitch
And we are grateful for
Our iron lung

Suck, suck your teenage thumb
Toilet trained and dumb
When the power runs out
We'll just hum

This, this is our new song
Just like the last one
A total waste of time
My iron lung

And if you're frightened
You can be frightened
You can be, it's OK

~Radiohead

ps. I'm 24 now.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25710605/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25710605/ Fri, 03 Jul 2009 07:28:33 PDT Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love.

~Wikipedia [link]

Just watched this truly awesome mash-up, showing what would happen if Buffy met Edward Cullen (from Twilight) [link] I can't help but think Buffy's approach to dealing with the situation is rather healthier than Bella's. Despite it involving killing. If you have the time and inclination, here's a discussion of the vid: [link]

On an entirely different note: i have seriously cute new shoes [link] (the red ones)


--
update my budget-book
hoover my room regularly
go shopping in Camden
rewrite Glass House as a waltz
finish 'new' song Fox and Cat (with band)
sew dress pattern (from last summer)
create an orange dress (i've had the material for 2 years now )
make a River dress--proving trickier than i thought it would
turn 24
think of a topic for my final year dissertation
get a job (maybe)
record with WtCDi
experiment with effects on Squirrel (my keyboard) and feedback
learn to play violin (involves getting my hands on a violin first)
obtain a violin--i've borrowed one from uni for the summer
watch season 1 of Stargate: SG1--bring on season 2
buy a new bra that actually fits (honestly, the amount of trouble this is proving to be, you'd think i was a strange shape: there is nothing wrong with my body thankyou very much! grr.)--yay for M&S
fix my dreamcatcher (it keeps letting bad dreams through atm)
~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25485894/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25485894/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 00:21:36 PDT But here comes a gale
A crippling anger
Sea birds are blown
Into the rocks
Grace is lost to thunder

~Patrick Wolf (i'm utterly in love with his music atm)

i've added some new music to my personal Myspace account myspace.com/emilyrowantree. You can have a listen if you like

i keep half waking up in the early hours of the morning with the vague feeling the key to sorting out various things in my life is within my reach. Yesterday i wrote an entire song (lyrics and music) in my sleep. Of course when i wake properly both the solutions and songs are gone.

update my budget-book
hoover my room regularly
go shopping in Camden
rewrite Glass House as a waltz
finish 'new' song Fox and Cat (with band)
sew dress pattern (from last summer)
create an orange dress (i've had the material for 2 years now )
make a River dress
turn 24
think of a topic for my final year dissertation
get a job (maybe)
record with WtCDi
experiment with effects on Squirrel (my keyboard) and feedback
learn to play violin (involves getting my hands on a violin first)
obtain a violin--i've borrowed one from uni for the summer
watch season 1 of Stargate: SG1
buy a new bra that actually fits (honestly, the amount of trouble this is proving to be, you'd think i was a strange shape: there is nothing wrong with my body thankyou very much! grr.)--yay for M&S
fix my dreamcatcher (it keeps letting bad dreams through atm)
finish 'new' song Pretty Fragile
tidy my room
watch all of Battlestar Galactica
~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25344040/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25344040/ Tue, 16 Jun 2009 04:53:51 PDT God! What is your childhood trauma?

~Cordelia (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

The weather, holidays and my emotions are playing havock with my sleeping patterns. Anyways, remember that band i raved about a month ago, Backhanded Compliments? Well, they played Fibbers last night and What the Cat Dragged in was asked last minute to support them pity i was too tired to fully appreciate the amazingness.

I think this is the first time since i joined dA that i've managed to empty my inbox

update my budget-book
hoover my room regularly
go shopping in Camden
rewrite Glass House as a waltz
finish 'new' song Fox and Cat (with band)
sew dress pattern (from last summer)
create an orange dress (i've had the material for 2 years now )
make a River dress
turn 24
think of a topic for my final year dissertation
get a job (maybe)
record with WtCDi
experiment with effects on Squirrel (my keyboard) and feedback
learn to play violin (involves getting my hands on a violin first)
obtain a violin--i've borrowed one from uni for the summer
watch season 1 of Stargate: SG1
buy a new bra that actually fits (honestly, the amount of trouble this is proving to be, you'd think i was a strange shape: there is nothing wrong with my body thankyou very much! grr.)--yay for M&S
fix my dreamcatcher (it keeps letting bad dreams through atm)
finish 'new' song Pretty Fragile
tidy my room
watch all of Battlestar Galactica
adapt Discordant for Symphonic Roc... ]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25155879/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/25155879/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 13:39:57 PDT I fly through summer let the seasons change,
Drink in the sunlight; cry it out as rain,
I fly through summer let the seasons change,
How life is just a big game.
You'll see what I become, I'll see what I became, how nothing can now be the same again.

~Grammatics

The summer holidays have been upon me for a week and I've spent that week rehearsing, gigging, canoeing in the sun and generally spending time with people. Freedom is exhausting. So to give me some direction for the next few months, here's a list of stuff i must, might or hope to do this summer, which i will try to keep updated as time goes by

update my budget-book
hoover my room regularly
go shopping in Camden
rewrite Glass House as a waltz
finish 'new' song Fox and Cat (with band)
sew dress pattern (from last summer)
create an orange dress (i've had the material for 2 years now )
make a River dress
turn 24
think of a topic for my final year dissertation
get a job (maybe)
record with WtCDi
experiment with effects on Squirrel (my keyboard) and feedback
learn to play violin (involves getting my hands on a violin first)
start watching Stargate
buy a new bra that actually fits (honestly, the amount of trouble this is proving to be, you'd think i was a strange shape: there is nothing wrong with my body thankyou very much! grr.)--yay for M&S
fix my dreamcatcher (it keeps letting bad dreams through atm)
finish 'new' song Pretty Fragile
tidy my room
watch all of Battlestar Galactica
adapt Discordant for Symphonic Rock Orchestra
finish adapting BoRhap for SRO
http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24906824/ Sat, 23 May 2009 12:04:58 PDT I sleep with my hands across my chest,
And I dream of you with someone else,
I feed my body with things that I don't need,
Until I sink to the bottom,
Don't act like it came as a surprise,
Don't believe me even look into these eyes

This can't go on so I should just
Regret it, regret it, regret it,
And even though I lead you on I'll
Forget it, forget it, forget it

~Maximo Park

Paul Smith (from Maximo Park) has the most beautiful arms and hands i've ever seen on a man

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24780495/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24780495/ Sat, 16 May 2009 03:15:49 PDT and every answer I don't get from you
is saying you don't care enough to meet my eyes
and when I fail and hope the letdown
i knew it would come, would fall but i still
an addictive thrill
it sparkles
it has dazzled me
but still the writing glows

~~rowanmeissie

the rest of this song really needs to be written

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24604373/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24604373/ Tue, 05 May 2009 16:02:18 PDT You think that I can't fly?
Well, you just watch me. Watch me!

~Dresden Dolls

We will be better.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24578316/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24578316/ Mon, 04 May 2009 05:24:34 PDT Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis

~The Killers

I'm back from a weekend in Amsterdam, during which only 12 of the 63 hours were spent sleeping London Calling music festival was great as ever--of the bands i hadn't heard of before, my favourite was The Backhanded Compliments [link] and they're playing locally in a month

I've got two new songs, but both need one more line before i can show them to you--think, brain, think!

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24321909/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24321909/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 08:42:57 PDT There's a chair in my head on which I used to sit
Took a pencil and I wrote the following on it

Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth used to be
Dig it up, throw it at me
Dig it up, throw it at me

Where can I run to, where can I hide?
Who will I turn to now I'm in a virgin state of mind?

Got a knife to disengage the voids that I can't bear
To cut out words I've got written on my chair

Like do you think I'm sexy?
Do you think I really care?

Can I burn the mazes I grow?
Can I? I don't think so

~K's Choice

Noticed I passed the 10,000 mark a few days ago

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24122717/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/24122717/ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 02:00:43 PDT ...it isn't that i want to be alone,
But that everyone's alone--or so it seems to me.
They make noises, and think they are talking to each other;
They make faces, and think they understand each other.
And I'm sure they don't. Is that a delusion?

...Can we only love something created by our own imagination?

~T.S. Eliot (from The Cocktail Party)

Discuss.

p.s. red biro ink makes amazing fake blood.

p.p.s. In a public gig venue is probably not the best place to discover this.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/23647676/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/23647676/ Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:15:16 PDT i have discovered that the cracks between lies won't tolerate me anymore--
but i think you still do

i have discovered that you may not agree with my taste in music--
but that's ok: it's mine and i like it.

i have discovered that i don't need to talk--
unless noone's there to listen

i have discovered it's okay to talk to boys--
as long as they don't think they're men.

i have discovered that i'd rather play timewasting computergames
than figure out how i feel about God, or you come to that.

i have discovered that worrying comes naturally to me--
but it's a waste of time and i'd rather it didn't.
besides, worrying about you just leaves me feeling empty, guilty and stupid.

i have discovered that the cracks between lies won't tolerate me anymore--
and i'm not sure you still do either.

i wanted to post a new deviation, but this is still in progress. it'll probably be in flux for quite a while, if it ever stabilises. truths, halftruths, honesty and trying not to take the world too seriously.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/23322397/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/23322397/ Sat, 21 Feb 2009 10:49:16 PST There is not chastity enough in language
Without offence to utter them.
~Shakespeare (Twelfth Night)

~illyria-godking tagged me to feature somebody back in September and i've been horribly neglectful in not doing it, so to make up for it (sorta) here are two somebodies whose writing i enjoy:



empty sheets
cold
untouched.
the bed tousles them
they way you did my hair.
[link]

of course this is the right choice
i keep telling myself again
but really
deep down inside
i'm just
a
little
hesitant.
[link]

and



There is something almost soothing about the irrevocable quality of writing a letter with a pen. The farther you get, the more committed you are to keeping everything as is...
[link]

Old dark music box,
Worn from years of ancient tunes,
Winds into slow sleep.
[link]

i have so many songs in the works and none of them seem to want to be finished. One's been almost two years coming. Someone once compared my songwriting to childbirth:
I conceive the idea--plucked from the random musings of my mind, something i'm going through or something someone says.
the idea then gestates for a (long) while, allowing it to develop, exploring the direction it should take, stretching out tentatacles only to retract them or stumble across an entirely new thought.
then comes the labour, either naturally--i'll sit down at the piano and suddenly it all comes flowing out--or induced, when i finally decide that enough's enough and it has to happen now or not at all. Obviously i prefer the natural birth: even if noone else does, I can tell the difference.
the birth: the moment everything has fallen into place and it's sung and played for the first time in its entirety and i just know that this is it, this is how it was meant to be. The song gazes at me with its big, seemingly innocent eyes and i can rest happy with it snuggled in my mind and my throat and the air around me.

I had no idea i was going to write all that. now you're all going to think i'm some weirdo

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/22877637/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/22877637/ Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:53:50 PST
"If someone (even a friend) comments on one of your Deviations with a link that says "rofl this may be relevant to your interests" DO NOT CLICK ON IT! It will send you to a webpage that does not load, but somehow uses your account to quite randomly send the same comment link to other Deviations that you never even visited. This of course makes the system think you're spamming and refuses to let you comment further and It can also apparently mess with your computer. Again, DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK!

MAKE A JOURNAL REPOSTING THIS STATEMENT!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!!"

Just so's ya know.

in other news: surgery sucks. stronger painkillers would be nice. friends are pretty awesome, as are Firefly marathons.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/22736163/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/22736163/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 14:17:19 PST ...or no head. Imagine me with no head! And don't say that's an improvement...

~The ninth Doctor (Doctor Who) [link]

i have been so neglectful of this journal lately. Hopefully next week (yup, i'm still procrastinating) i'll say something worthwhile. And get round to that journal feature thingy ~illyria-godking tagged me for ages ago. But i just wanted to let you know i'm going into hospital tomorrow to have a jaw/wisdom tooth problem sorted out. Nothing too major, though it's under general aneasthetic and the work's very close to the nerve, so i may have a numb lip for a while. Anyways, if you're of that persuasion, please pray for me. And if i do write something next week and it's really stupid, i'm pulling the 'still out of it from the aneasthetic' card

oh, and a while ago the wonderfull =Audley granted me a subscription, so i should really make use of it before it runs out:



i am so doing this.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/22070705/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/22070705/ Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:23:45 PST
here's a piece of advice, from me to you, girl to boy: pull your trousers up! Yes, you look really sexy in that shirt; yes, those trousers show off your legs to your advantage, but just because you like seeing our lingerie, doesn't mean we want to see yours. I'm sorry, but our bods are just a way more aesthetically pleasing shape than yours. Don't worry though, we still love you.

xx

p.s. And don't even think about wearing those ridiculously pointy-toed leather shoes.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/21502202/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/21502202/ Sat, 15 Nov 2008 13:58:17 PST For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

I'm not in a good place right now. Do you ever have the feeling that you're being attacked by a spiritual force? about a month ago i found myself in an amazing place: so much of my life was falling into place, my new counsellor and i were making tremendous headway, i felt a happier, more complete person than i ever have before. so i knew i'd have a comedown and i did. nothing out of the ordinary, just a little dip. i could cope, i knew it would pass and it's fine to not be on top of the world all the time.

but over the past few weeks there have just been small things. a plate broke. a ring went missing. i fell and cut my arm rather badly. i cracked my favourite breakfast bowl. i fell down stairs. another ring disappeared. the dentist told me i have to get a filling redone. i fell down stairs again...you get the picture? nothing really out of the ordinary and certainly interspersed with good things, but added together in such a short space of time they build up, wear you down and then, yesterday, a bag with all my coursework from this year disappeared. and when i say disappeared i mean was (most likely) stolen. this is two days before i'm supposed to hand in an essay. at this point you really start to wonder who has it in for you. and then you realise your passport was in that bag.

so, yeah, i've pretty much reached breaking point. things could get worse. a lot worse. but i'd really rather they didn't. so, i don't know how many people read this and i'll be impressed if even two of the people who watch me make it all the way to this point, but if you have, thanks for giving me that time and please, if you're a prayerful sort of person, please pray for me. thankyou.


i'll make the next journal a nice one. and ~illyria-godking, i haven't forgotten the feature journal thing, it's still sitting there in my inbox and will happen. just so's you know.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/20598012/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/20598012/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 08:28:10 PDT This is happy for the angstbunny
When she's hiding in the dark
You can't see her smile
She's laughing all the while
At the look that's on your face
At all the things she'll say
Like 'I hate you'

£16. that's how much we were paid for our second gig we ended up with a pound profit (after taxi fares)--we made profit!! it's the first time i've actually been paid to make music!!! i'm so excited, can you tell?!!?one!

for anyone who's interested, there are now photos up on the myspace [link] not all of them are in focus, but we like the blurriness and the lights (yeah, half of the band are art students, so we get to take liberties )

we have a mascot for the band now: Bunny, the emo, erm, bunny. she's so cute. We'll post pictures of her too asap. she's already stolen half of my earrings.

oh, and you see that corset i'm wearing? well, a year ago i had a conversation with my uncle about how i'd never get a 'roper' (ie steel boned) corset, cos they looked so uncomfortable. a week later we went shopping and i had my first taste of what it was like, 2 months later i owned one, which i occasionally wore around the house for about 30 minutes, before feeling the need to breathe again. now i find myself regularly wearing it out and about and craving a new one. probably in dark green...

...the moral of the story? be very careful when you vehemently disclaim about anything. which is why i don't say that i'll never get a tattoo. or eyebrow piercing.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/20503874/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/20503874/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 10:50:17 PDT I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone?
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh! I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

~Evanescence

Maybe it's the flu talking, but i feel a little lost right now. a couple of weeks ago i lost my hat. I’ve no idea where or even when exactly. I just came to put it on one day and couldn't find it. Cue a long hard overhaul of my room, trawl from shop to shop, friend's houses, campus...I’m usually lucky with these kinds of things. I might misplace them for a little while, but they tend to show up. I once found a friend's earring on the floor of a massive darkened concert hall. Sometimes I just have to let it go, like when my old email account got wiped. I’d only had this hat for a year, bought in Paris in May 2007. It feels like forever ago. I’d pinned badges to it, and a Past Time's hatpin. Just bought another two new buttons for it too. It’s not worth that much of course. I didn't even wear it that often. But I did, do love it. And I can't seem to let it go.

A year ago yesterday i moved to England. I didn't realise that till this morning. I'm Emily, I’m 23, a 2nd year music student, singer in a newly started band (which for some bizarre reason keeps getting offered metal gigs despite clearly not being metal). I used to be a cat. now I’m unsure. I mean, I’ll always be a cat, but i used to have feline tendencies. i go through phases of swearing violently (if mostly in my head) and trying to clean up my language. I don't need a guy in my life--at least not right now--but why does every guy i could potentially 'like' have to be so obviously unsuitable? Fictional characters are so much safer. I wish i was still nbk. I'm a christian who struggles to talk to God. The small group of friends i hang out with most atm is mostly non-christian and it breaks my heart, but how to convince them when I can't even bring myself to trust God anymore? The wittiest people on this planet seem to be outspoken atheist, existentialists, whatnot. And Jesus loves every single one of them as much as he does a broken, scared child like me. I'm not sure what to think of Hell. I know this world is broken and that there's no hope for it to be fixed without supernatural intervention. I want to be fixed. But I also appreciate my brokenness. I feel most alive when I’m expressing my pain through my music and words. I'm easily excitable. I'm insecure, but so much more sure of myself than 2 years ago. My mood swings have lessened, but sometimes I just want to be angry or wallow in my melancholy. I want my singing, my music to make people cry. I'm halfway through re-watching Angel season 5 and am currently putting off Fred's death by watching the Prince&Me. I love Illyria, but Fred and Wesley deserved more time together. Paige makes the right decision about the prince, but romance sucks. I miss my field of innocence. It didn't used to matter that the flowers were made of paper.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/20092240/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/20092240/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 08:39:54 PDT I look for miracles
And search for the miraculous
Along my way
You seem to say
The opposite is true for you
You just seem satisfied
With what you find each day
Your life's OK
Your spirit's lost and wandering in the sand
I swear I hear your voice
Crying save me from the desert
Take my hand
Lead me to water

But I would draw you into my heart
If your eyes weren't closed to me
And I would draw you into the world
Behind the one you see
If I could speak my mind
Then I would take you to secret places
Only ours to find
Your spirit longs to breathe
If only you'd believe

~Daniel Bedingfield

apparently i have a grey hair. just the one. surely i'm too young for this?

I'm not a fan of Abba, but i heard good things about the musical, so me and my mum took a chance and went to see the film the other day. Best decision of the week! It's a fabulously fun girl's night out kind of a movie. Laugh out loud most of the way through, wonderful performance from Meryl Streep and it looks as if they had a great deal of fun making it

To the guy who took up the offer of helping us eat our chips before the movie: nice try, but i'm afraid you're not funny and i'm aware that my dress sense is not exactly mainstream. However, i don't think 'subversive' was quite the word you were looking for. And just why do so many people think i'm a dancer? i'm really not. haven't been for a long time.

Other decisions this week included buying a new laptop (Acer aspire 5715Z with Vista Premium; not exactly top of the range, but should do me for now), ordering a Roland EP880 (now that's a beauty, can't wait till she arrives ) and staying up till 5am chatting and watching movies *zonk*

There are some songs in the works; hopefully i'll have something to post here soon.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19936960/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19936960/ Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:12:07 PDT isn't likely to happen any time soon.

well, here's a quick rundown of what's happening:

i got offered a gig. at a metal night. based on my myspace. whut?! but why? yay, a gig!
i desperately searched around for musicians to help me out (since my sisters picked just this week to be out of town).
stumbled upon a drummer and an art studen--i mean--guitarist, confusingly enough both called Matt, and we practiced what felt like 24/7, but can't have been cos i was at a family reunion for a weekend and the guitarist insisted on spending time with his girlfriend (seriously, dude, get your priorities straight ), for slightly less than 2 weeks.
we knocked 'em dead, despite being the first band on, not really being metal (had the audience fooled though, what with all the screaming ), and borrowing half our equipment off the headlining band, Lost Effect [link] who btw are lovely people and have a great male singer.
we've decided to make it official: we are 'What the cat dragged in'. I'm in a band! Like, properly, one that i made happen! and consequently i have to move myspace, so that whatthecatdraggedinuk can be the proper space...more work for me over the next few weeks *le sigh*

To do:
go home
remove stuff from on bed
sleep
unpack and sort out room (seriously, someone glancing into your room and uttering an expletive is not the best confidence booster, even if he had had a bit to drink)
put together wardrobe-y clothing rail type thing that i've spent all day shopping for, after discovering that the one i'd finally decided to get is going to be out of stock for at least another month (actually, this needs to happen before i sort out my room, so that i can hang my way too voluminous amount of clothing in it)
sort out myspaces
bribe a sister into designing a band logo
buy a decent keyboard/electric piano.
or a violin. which was supposed to be my birthday present. but now i'm thinking a keyboard is far more pressing, what with needing gigging equipment...but i've left my mum's old violin at the violin shop cause i was going to go back. or i could get a cheapo violin...oh, i don't know. i'm just too tired to think about this right now.
sleep
buy laptop--cos my old one is truly dead http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19698225/ Thu, 31 Jul 2008 11:13:21 PDT Emily tries but misunderstands, ah ooh
She often inclined to borrow somebody's dreams till tomorrow
There is no other day
Let's try it another way
You'll lose your mind and play
Free games for May
See emily play

~Pink Floyd

and so it begins: today was a 7 hour rehearsal with one short break for lunch. I've shanghaied a guitarist (Matt) and drummer (another Matt) into doing this gig with me and it's great after lying awake in bed last night stressing over all the things that could go wrong, today has been brilliant. We've laid down the base (no, not 'bass', though drummerMatt is going to try to teach me some to back guitarMatt up a bit ) for four songs, including [link] which is where it really kicked off for me: this song is absolutely f***ing awesome! and it was only at the last minute that i (re)discovered it in my music file, so -- ~Gretscher, thankyou so much for creating the riff it is ok for us to run off with it, isn't it? *looks wide-eyedly pleading*

In other huge news: we went to Leeds on Tuesday for me to buy a violin. Sadly we came back violin-less, but ~rowanmeissie (who btw is now deserving of that name: I have a sister!) walked into a guitar shop and fell in love with a pink electric guitar. Don't scoff, even I, desperately clinging to the last remnants of my anti-pinkness, think it's gorgeous. It's a Hamer, i'm not sure of the proper name, but something like this [link] in raspberry pink. Sounds good too. Anyways, it's exciting.

Also, i sunburned my wrists at the seaside yesterday. And, yes, i was wearing suncream. Just not there apparently. Not that the sun showed till after we'd dried ourselves off from a freezing cold swim in the sea, ta very much.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19601397/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19601397/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:58:50 PDT

I just got offered a gig at a local metal night! Woot! i mean, WHUT?! apparently something on my myspace [link] made the organiser think i sound like this [link] (scroll down, there are some vids). personally i don't see the similarities. for goodness sake, i'm just a girl with a piano! and not even that if they don't have a piano and i haven't done a solo gig before. and i'm not sure, i mean i'm sure i haven't got enough songs with metal pretensions to keep a crowd like that happy. but i don't wanna say no...

*brain explodes*



]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19476996/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19476996/ Sat, 19 Jul 2008 04:59:21 PDT Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse!
He rides across the nation, the Thoroughbred of Sin.
He got the application, that you just sent in.
It needs evaluation, so let the games begin.
A heinous crime, a show of force,
a murder would be nice of course.
Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse, he's bad!
The Evil League of Evil, is watching so beware.
The grade that you receive will be your last, we swear.
So make the Bad Horse gleeful or he'll make you his mare…
You're saddled up, there's no recourse,
it's “hi-ho Silver!”
Signed, Bad Horse.

~Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

[link]

go watch it. now. cause it'll be gone by monday.

also, i'm homeless.

also also, i can't change the moodicon.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19383214/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19383214/ Mon, 14 Jul 2008 02:40:05 PDT When the moon fell in love with the sun
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night

When the sun found the moon
She was drinking tea in a garden
Under the green umbrella trees
In the middle of summer

When the moon found the sun
He looked like he was barely hanging on
But her eyes saved his life
In the middle of summer

So he said, "Would it be all right
If we just sat and talked for a little while
If in exchange for your time
I give you this smile?"

So she said, "That's okay
As long as you can make a promise
Not to break my little heart
Or leave me all alone in the summer."

Well he was just hanging around
Then he fell in love
And he didn't know how
But he couldn't get out
Just hanging around
Then he fell in love

In the middle of summer
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night

~Panic at the Disco (my current happy song [link] )

It's my birthday! I'm old now, but that's ok--i've never had birthday texts before. It's very exciting

in other news: i ran out of pills on Saturday, so i hope they can fasttrack the prescription today.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19256980/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19256980/ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 14:59:18 PDT Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.

~Proverbs 4:23

I can't take it anymore. Please make it stop...

she's just so darn enthusiastic, she makes you want to gag her with tape and pack her in a box. Just stop packing things already! I mean, the cutlery's gone, the bike oil's in with the hats, all the mirrors have disappeared...how am i supposed to survive?!

no, wait, that came out wrong...

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19074503/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19074503/ Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:38:06 PDT "Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords."

~Oz in BtVS

it's everywhere: in the air, on my skin, in my pores, in my lungs. *ugha ugha* it's an asthmatic's nightmare. i think i might just pass out for a while. maybe till the 10th when all this old dusty house-packing should be over. just wake me up for Dr Who and outside-the-house activities, 'kay?

though this makes me smile: great band, great music, the kind of vid i'd like to be part of (and oh, the aestheticness of Steve ) [link]



ooh, parakeet!

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19002112/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/19002112/ Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:13:35 PDT Lets play the very first line, it feels much better,
And it's all in time, it's coming together,
When the drums come in, the keys get louder,
Now I'm building a collision of chords.

This time it's not tiny voices,
It's a chorus of noise,
We're surfing a sea of places,
Now, now, now, we're singing,
A fanfare of sound, pulled out from within,
We fly through the broken minor,
Woh, woh, woh, we've come back down.

~Elliot Minor

the last few weeks i've been busy preparing for the York Youth Mysteries, a "youthful" take on the medieval Mystery plays (based on bible stories) [link] I was involved in the Last supper and (more intensively) the Temptation of Eve. And i'll tell you what: the latter was brilliant we ended up laying down grass in the Basement Bar (a local gig venue) and spent half the piece with the audience in this garden, asking them to write their ideas of Eden on an apple, after which we kicked them out and spent the next 10-15 minutes mostly shifting piles of dead flowers from one side of the stage to the other as the backing track (which i'm quite proud of: a full 25 minutes of "music" composed, recorded and produced by moi) got gradually more and more distorted until it was pretty much unbearable. Also, there was the sound of a cat meowing, just because. I now feel like a proper musician (of course the 'A' I got for my portfolio of compositions helps too). And my legs ached when i woke up the next day.

Anyways, enough bragging (but, seriously, the day before we thought it was going to suck, so i've a right to feel joyous), i'm going to holland on wednesday for a couple of weeks to help my family move back over here hopefully the new adaptor for my laptop will arrive before then so i can judge whether that'll fix its problems.

Is it Thurs--Sunday yet?

(please ignore the mood thingy for now, i can't seem to change it atm)

)

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/18764758/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/18764758/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 10:58:47 PDT Dear Dad,

laptop's died. please send money.

Emily

...

*scrumfle*

*toss*

...


*crunch*

erm, could somebody fetch me a plaster and TCP for my hand? and the other kind of plaster to fill in that hole in the wall?

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/18587659/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/18587659/ Sat, 31 May 2008 04:24:35 PDT If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
That strain again! it had a dying fall:
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing, and giving odour! Enough, no more,
'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.

~Shakespeare

I've hoovered my room!! i've been dying to for weeks, but just managed to sort the final uni papers littering the floor last night

I woke to weird dreams in which i was working with drama students and was awarded the highest grade in the class, which both confused and excited me...then i realised that i'm a music student and that that grade was absolutely useless but i actually am working with (just graduated) drama students to create a piece based on the temptation of Eve/fall of man. I'm also the only christian on the project which apparently automatically makes me the both the authority on biblical knowledge and the moral compass *help*

and now to the point: i've uploaded two new songs to my myspace: Ballad of Stein and Glass house (In dreams). i'm thrilled with one of them, the other makes me wince in certain places, but i'll leave it up to you to decide which is which (or not). might add a third later...

i really need to start writing again now i (theoretically) have the time

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/18476809/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/18476809/ Sat, 24 May 2008 09:46:03 PDT
He said he loved me and that was enough"

~'A Nice Cup of Tea' by Gemma Alldred (3rd year drama student here at St John's), a tale of tea and a relationship gone sour.

Term is over, essays handed in, Summer Ball enjoyed and 7am is a ridiculous time to go to bed, so sorry if i'm not very coherent: i've had my first taste of staying up for 24hours straight and am feeling it...it would probably be more amusing if i hadn't spent half the night in A&E with ~rowanmeissie who (with a little help from yours truly) sprained her shoulder, esp. if all the doctors and nurses didn't assume we'd been drinking too much (we're both tea-total. how's that for irony?) Still, what better way to end the first year of uni than waking up the next day at 3.30pm, something you've been complaining about your coursemates doing all year? my bodyclock is so confused: the icecream van that always comes round about 5 just pulled into the street, but i only got up and hour ago. I'm a bit disappointed though cos i was hoping to go into town this morning to see if i could spot Sean Bean who's in a movie they were filming here () and now i've missed the chance

in other news:

lookie --> [link] made me an awesome desktop from her piece [link] please have a look at the rest of her gallery; she has some beautiful photomanips.

Sometimes when you're frustrated and upset, all you need is some cute (albeit slightly worse for wear) guy to ask you to dance and tell you you're gorgeous, despite the fact that you've just reapplied your make-up to suit your inner turmoil (read: have eyeliner all over your face. it seemed a good idea at the time. it often does)

now excuse me while i keep my sister company watching any integrity europop may ever have possessed be blown to smithereens yet again to the accompanying dry tune of Terry Wogan's commentary

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/18380866/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/18380866/ Sun, 18 May 2008 10:34:35 PDT
]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17746330/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17746330/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 11:14:22 PDT I'm so tired
I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired
My mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink
No, no, no

~The Beatles

i'm so tired that the mere thought of having to wake up tomorrow morning is keeping me from going to bed. That and the fact that i need dinner. I have a lovely one all planned out, ingredients in the fridge and everything...i'm just too tired to make it. Why? I'm not sure, but i blame the drunken singing coming from the kitchen at 2.14am this morning combined with the 9am lecture.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17493360/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17493360/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:51:18 PDT Now you know
This is what it feels like

You can try to stop it but it keeps on coming

~NIN

The plate didn't break and the toast landed peanutbutter-side up. Take that, Murphy

In other news, I have a flu-ey thing and have been awake since 4.30am *groans* Does anyone else start talking to themselves when they've got a fever? More so than usual, I mean. I spent half an hour last night trying to figure out if there's another phonetic spelling of 'wait', other than 'weight' and 'wate'...I have this memory from a few years back: I had flu, but needed to study for an exam the next day. I ended up singing very loudly about the 'lovely little fishies' in my textbook Oh, and the giggling. Really, it's probably best that i'm alone in the house atm, because my housemates would probably think i'd gone insane. Then again, my choice of movie doesn't help: The Fountain is very beautiful, both visually and aurally, but tres confusing. Still, nothing can beat listening to the audiobook of 'Life, the Universe and Everything' with a 40^oC temperature while drifting in and out of consciousness (quite a few years ago, again). It wasn't till i re-listened to (and read) it once i'd recovered that i realised it really was that weird...

I miss having a tv to mindlessly zone out to.

oh, for goodness sake, there's got to be a sick/flu/ugh moodicon

[edit]
ok, no, there doesn't. Fine, i'm suffering then. Happy now? (though i can't claim to feel like someone's actually poking their finger into my brain right now: pills are my friends )

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17446557/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17446557/ Fri, 21 Mar 2008 17:20:26 PDT Held the door for me you'll make sure I'm fine, yeah
hold my hand all day, no you would not care
you would just be thankful to
but do you feel you've won
don't you see I'm weaker with you?
I hope you don't really think
that I'm better off without you

and I feel fine, yeah
I feel fine, yeah
take my hand, just be careful with it
I feel fine

well, will you stick with me, you're right if you don't
'cause I ain't easy now, no
giving you a hard time
but do you feel you've won
and don't you see I'm weaker with you
I hope you don't really think
that I'm better off without you, yeah

and I feel fine, yeah
I feel fine, no
take my hand, just be careful with it
I feel fine

and I decided not to be, no not to be with you at all
but I haven't got a clue if I'm handling this right, no
you give me everything I want but I need to be alone
and believe me, baby, I don't understand why I can't be with you, no

and I feel fine, yeah
I feel fine
take my hand, just be careful with it
I feel fine, no
and take my hand, 'cause I trust you with it
I feel fine
and I feel fine

~Krezip

[link]

Do you ever listen to a song whose lyrics and music, though obviously not describing the situation you're in, resonate completely with the way you're feeling? Well, that's how i feel when i listen to this song.

_{'Sadness' isn't really the word for it. More like 'melancholy', or--what's that word for when you're remembering the past and you feel melancholic--nostalgia? That's the word, but no, it's not what i feel: I don't want to go back. In a way I miss what never was and never could have been and what once was but will most likely not be again. Tomorrow I'll be baking and sewing again, but tonight I feel melancholic.}

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17372951/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17372951/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 02:44:20 PDT lot of personal stuff i really don't want to lose. I think i'm in shock.

It's a sign as to how much i've grown and re-grown that i'm not uttering a string of expletives right now.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17341538/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17341538/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 04:18:53 PDT
Back to the street
Down to our feet
Losing the feeling of feeling unique
Do ya know what I mean?

Back to the place
Where we used to say
Man it feels good to feel this way
Now I know what I mean

Cause it's nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could 'cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon

~Panic at the Disco

Yesterday was a Good Day.

Me and ~rowanmeissie spent the day shopping in Leeds, (spent being the operative word: the now almost empty Corn Exchange still manages to be one of the best places to shop, despite only 4 shops being left), hanging out a Starbucks and seeing P@tD (I miss the exclamation mark) perform at the Refectory, along with a thousand screaming 16-year-old girls.

Acquisitions of the day:
-a cute little green velvet dress
-a Jasmine Becket-Griffith Cheshire cat badge that the shopwoman generously threw in for free with the dress
-some cream lace to trim the dress i'm currently trying to make with
-a black, lacy frock coat (which just happens to be identical to the one belonging to one of Alice's friends, which meant she couldn't get it )
-a free P@tD badge and Pretty.Odd. postcard (handed out while we were standing in the queue outside the Refectory)
-a glowstick armband (still glowing)
-muscle ache in my arms and shoulders from resisting being crushed by the crowd
-a spark of inspiration for a song we've been trying to write for a year or so.
-today's breakfast in the form of half a bottle of a vanilla yoghurt drink

For future reference: if it's possible, avoid getting stuck in the middle of a crowd of a thousand excited teenage girls, because you could find yourself without such luxuries as air and the ability move. Standing further back just behind the sounddesk comes with the triple advantage of being able to breathe, to see (albeit from further away), and to watch the sound guy (or maybe it was the lighting) perform what looked like some very complicated choreography to keep up with band. In this position you should also find yourself amongst a group of people who are, on average, older and not so predominantly screaming females.

And Brendon did an acoustic version of my favourite P@tD song, Time to Dance Really, best day i've had in quite a while.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17310709/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17310709/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:57:04 PDT I'm Young and I'm Hopeless,
I'm lost and I know this,
I'm going nowhere fast, that's what they say.
That I'm troublesome, I'm fallen,
I'm angry at my father,
It's me against this world, and I don't care.

~Good Charlotte (actually, i think it's me against my mind and i do care)

I just deleted a comment that had been in my message-box since july 2006

^GeneratingHype has been posting an interesting series of articles for writers, one of which took me to [link] Playing around with it, my personal writing (stuff i post here) comes out as weakly (or European) female. Well done, computer. However, my academic writing (essays and suchlike) is read as overwhelmingly male!

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17273610/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17273610/ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 15:30:51 PDT "Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

~ Lewis Carroll

Internet's back up, i've consumed half a tub of B&J's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and i'm feeling inordinately bouncy. This has led to the discovery that my hard, uncomfortable mattress is also inordinately bouncy. I've haven't been able to bounce on my bed before, since my old bed was tucked under the rafters with the ceiling about a foot from my face. Oh the possibilities

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17253368/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17253368/ Sun, 09 Mar 2008 09:59:53 PDT Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

~Coldplay (song of the week)

internet's down in the Court since yesterday. Hopefully the nice IT people will fix it tomorrow. In theory this means i might go to bed earlier; in practice...well, let's just say there's a certain vampire who's gained his soul, lost his mind and brings out the childwhowantstotakehomethecutelittlepuppydog streak in me which reminds me: at some point i'm expecting some scary people to come by to make sure i really don't have a tv. which i don't. so nyeh.

rats, my shoe just fell off and my chair's too high for my foot to reach it.

Did you know it's possible to write a song, play it for years and only then discover that the timing makes absolutely no sense and it's impossible to make a click-track for it? Well, it is.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17158440/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17158440/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 02:09:12 PST Say the first thing that
Comes into your head when you see me
If it looks like it works and it feels like it works
Then it works
With the sun on your face
All these worries will soon disappear
Just follow me now
Just follow me now

~Snow Patrol

[link]

I'm free! It no longer has power over me

[edit 40 minutes later]
Huge momentous occasion: i just finished the dress i've been working on since August

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17092439/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/17092439/ Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:51:48 PST Just sleep.
Just sleep.
Just sleep.
Just sleep.
Just sleep.
Just sleep.

~My Chemical Romance (inspired lyrics, yah?)

In a world where i have an ounce of self-control i went to bed over an hour ago. I'm not still up; I'm not submitting a piece half an hour after i said i was too tired to write a journal; I'm not listening to [link] and becoming increasingly intimidated by her beautifully polished recordings; I'm certainly not feeling the nudge of inspiration at the corners of my mind that cautiously suggests staying up a while longer to write something that will undoubtedly look like drivel in the morning.

I am however going to get a counselling appointment set up (very near future) and go about acquiring a violin and getting lessons (less near future). And improve my recording and Cubase abilities. And continue improving my singing and songwriting.

I'm still working on two old songs, though i'm beginning to think the one i thought was mostly done needs a complete overhaul due to an excess of teen-angstiness (hello, not a teen here anymore, remember?!)

the music's stopped, the inspiration's dissipating. I shouldn't feel so relieved at the retreat of a muse.

oh yeah, and an earthquake woke me up last night. The one night i manage to get before 11pm. *rolls eyes* pretty cool though.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16947252/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16947252/ Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:09:28 PST I don't know if i can take it
I'm not easy on my knees
Here's my heart, you can break it
I need some release, release, release

We need love and peace

~U2

If we're made in God's image, why is forgiveness so hard? (answers on a postcard to this address, please)

_{my brand new digital dictaphone arrived today along with a collection of Yeats' poetry}

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16883407/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16883407/ Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:41:49 PST
I'm feeling rather depressed, though, i hasten to add, not due to the abominance of a holiday that today claims to be. Just depressed. And working on two songs i started writing about a year ago.

Two rather good-looking guys just came to the door and said they'd seen me in the kitchen looking bored and wondered if i'd like to join their evening's activity of getting depressingly drunk, which to be honest sounded quite tempting, but i'd just made a cup of hot chocolate (which is also good for the soul) and it's not really fun being the only sober person around.

'Fool for love' is quite possibly my favourite BtVS episode.

Also, squirrels.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16850051/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16850051/ Tue, 12 Feb 2008 14:50:31 PST ...is spiritual sex."*

*coughcough* erm, yes...moving on. (but, oh, that had our bible study group in hysterics )

I'm back. London was good, though so very tiring. We went to Camden town saturday morning and it burned down that evening! The Lion King was visually stunning, Nala and Rafiki were brilliant, Scar was a bit of a dissappointment. Now i really, really want to see The Lord of the Rings musical, having been backstage at Drury Lane Theatre--maybe this summer?

Parcel update: it finally arrived today, a week late. 3 s for them and the first part of Buffy season 8 for me

_{*a loose interpretation of John 4:23 and a Graham Kendrick quote on the matter}

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16764460/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16764460/ Thu, 07 Feb 2008 04:15:06 PST you were right. It was her who'd got the time wrong...but the damper's still been applied and you feel all messed up inside.

Ok, so maybe i was already feeling a bit fragile today. I think i'm coming down with something (i've been pretty lucky this year so far healthwise). But i'm off to Sheffield later then on to London tomorrow to see The Lion King Probably won't have access to a computer till i get back Sunday evening, so behave all of you while i'm gone

Parcel update: still not here and it was due yesterday at latest. No 5 stars for them :scowl:

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16736185/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16736185/ Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:42:05 PST Do you know what side it is
I see when i see through you?
Tell me what i need to know
To hold you at my fingertips

~~Gretscher

you know those parcels i was complaining about? Well, i'm only complaining about one of them now, cos the other arrived today. Not only did it (unexpectedly) contain four U2 albums from my mother (thankyou ), but it held something that made me go Squee very loudly: it's sleek, it's pretty (despite the orangeness ) and it rocks: Sunburn's new EP 'Kick it till you like it' What really made me squee though (cause i knew all the rest would be true) was that it quite literally has my name on it, credited with co-writing some of the lyrics

now, go listen to their myspace: [link]

just to rub in how great my course is: today in class we played macaroni-filled cans, yoghurt pots and winebottles, before going off bang tabletops course, now my head hurts from all the noise...

_{don't think for a moment that i'm letting that other parcel off the hook. if it's not here tomorrow, it's officially late.}

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16723255/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16723255/ Mon, 04 Feb 2008 13:09:57 PST


still no sign of the parcels

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16684956/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16684956/ Sat, 02 Feb 2008 04:34:53 PST Your defenses were on high
Your walls built deep inside
Yeah I'm a selfish bastard
But at least I'm not alone
My intentions never change
What I wanted stays the same
And I know what I should do
it's time to set myself on fire

Was it a dream?

~30 Seconds to Mars

I've been having some very vivid dreams lately, one of which showed remarkable similiarities to things that happened in the following week. It makes me wonder whether last night's will come true soon too.

Two parcels were meant to arrive this week and neither have come. My impatience is rearing it's hasty head. And i just ordered something else: i think i'm nurturing an addiction to online shopping--is not good, precioussss

Also, it's ~rowanmeissie's birthday tomorrow and her present is causing some difficulties. The biggest problem i foresee isn't the fact that it's getting wildly more expensive than i predicted, but that when i'm done i'll want to keep it myself...

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16484824/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16484824/ Sun, 20 Jan 2008 04:53:34 PST It's gone 3am when the cat drags in [only 12.30 actually]
The laughter in her voice doesn't mean a thing [it means she's happy to be out on the streets of York at night]
Her make-up stains are worn all over town [on two J2O bottles to be precise, nowhere else]
Don't try to dress her up, she only dresses down [but not down enough judging by what all the other girls are wearing]

I think i've established once and for all that i am not a clubber: skirts are way too short, alcohol far too present and my idea of dancing is not shuffling around to some techno dance beat with sluttish lyrics while feeling increasingly awkward. I'm not saying i hated last night--i knew it wasn't my thing and therefore kept some perspective: i quite enjoy observing people (which sounds vaguely stalker-ish, but really isn't...i hope), but you can only 'observe' so many cleavages and drunken behaviour before you get a bit appalled at humanity.

Ok, i'll take the 'once and for all' back: given the right company and music it could be fun, but in general i'd rather bake cookies. I do like being out on the streets at night, preferably on my own, though i've finally developed a small voice that tells me it's probably not the safest thing to do. York's so beautiful though and being out in the dark when noone's around is so liberating.

Having a social life at uni is being quite an interesting experience. It's traditionally the time when all those bright-eyed young teenagers come out from under their parents' wings and experiment with life they've been sheltered from this far. And in my own limited, post-teenage way i suppose i have been/am, but you know what? I keep coming back to the realisation that a)My Mother's Right and b)what seems to be greener grass on the other side is in fact bright orange, but i've been exposed to my own quite green grass for so long that it had dulled in my eyes. Which isn't to say that my grass couldn't be greener--it very much could be--it's just saying that what i need to make it greener is probably a lot closer and less extreme than i realise.

Right, enlightened existential discussion over, this journal was actually just supposed to be to announce the birth of my new music myspace page:

myspace.com/whatthecatdraggedinuk

and to ask two questions:

1)what's the size limit of music files you can upload to myspace?
2)does anyone know where i can find a good (preferably free) programme for compressing wav files to MP3?

I love having a sewing machine in my room

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16456154/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16456154/ Fri, 18 Jan 2008 07:59:41 PST But I, being poor, have only my dreams
I have spread my dreams under your feet
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams

~Yeats (yup, more of him. this is the one up on my pinboard)

i'm free for a whole week. and my room's tidy-ish. my desk certainly is: all the wires are tucked behind things, finally, but my radio's on the blitz.

i have nothing to say really. the adrenaline that's been keeping me going for the past week or so is subsiding from my body, but i want to do stuff. hmm, i'd like new shoes. can't find any i really like though...

..and my sister's deserted me for the weekend to see about a boy, so i can't bounce on her.

right now i like the bbc: they've started putting their shows online, so i can see torchwood--yay Spike-i-mean-Captain John (i guess they had to do something to keep people watching, cos really the show's not that good)

do you ever lie awake at night wondering what the point of it all is?

see, told you i had nothing to say.

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16414320/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16414320/ Tue, 15 Jan 2008 08:16:38 PST
what would you do if some random guy pulled you over in the street, told you you were gorgeous and gave you his number?

_{really, there should be a 'bored' mood icon.}

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16356032/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16356032/ Fri, 11 Jan 2008 10:51:23 PST Where the wave of moonlight glosses
The dim gray sands with light,
Far off by furthest Rosses
We foot it all the night,
Weaving olden dances
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight;
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles,
While the world is full of troubles
And anxious in its sleep.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

~W.B. Yeats (one of my favourite poems...come to think of it i've got another quote by him on my wall--maybe i should think about getting a book of his poetry)

My new white/black stripy armwarmers have turned grey/black, but the hoover's finally working, my composition for uni is practically done and my sister's coming over later for dinner and to watch Labyrinth. Life seems to be pretty good. I also got an A for the ensemble fairytale-themed vox performance we did on wednesday slightly less happy with the C for my solo performance and the fact that i may have seriously damaged a mic worth 1000 quid while in the studio

if you've been to a dutch cinema lately you may have come across this advert. i doubt it's restricted to (dutch) cinemas, but the effect of having it that big with the surround sound is simply stunning. I don't think i've ever bought a purely instrumental album before, but Ludovico Einaudi's 'Divenire' is really beautiful, all piano and strings. (you can hear the full track ' Primavera' here)

and this is one of the funnier things i've seen in a while: Starwars: Revenge of the Subtitles

now if i can just write some sleeve notes and get started on that last essay...

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16205397/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16205397/ Tue, 01 Jan 2008 11:34:53 PST
(happy new year)

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16182256/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16182256/ Mon, 31 Dec 2007 10:34:34 PST I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow
its a different day

~Avril Lavigne

I was struggling with writing a (very long) journal entry looking back over the past year and i got tangled up in the words, the memories. It's been...emotional. A lot's happened, much good, some bad. The general verdict is that i'm in a better place now than a year ago, though at times it doesn't feel like it (mentally, that is. Moving to the uk is one of the best things i could have done and i love it). I think all i need to say can be summed up in the following (please take your pick and make a cocktail of whatever you feel entitled to):

!My mother is (almost) always right and yes, sometimes that bugs me.
^I'll always be a little girl. Sometimes i'm a playfully dangerous feline. This year i discovered i'm a woman (postcard courtesy of Postsecret).
~I'm sorry.
*Thankyou.

I don't make new year's resolutions, they can only be broken. I hope and i dream. My hope is that i will learn from my past mistakes and learn to learn from other's. I'm not sure what to make of my dreams. I have to trust (and trust doesn't come easily for me) that God dreams bigger and better for me than i can and that s/he knows what s/he's doing.

Gather up my yesterdays
Weave them into a paper boat
Let it float upon the waves
Set a course for dawn and hope

Now, bring on the oliebols!

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16168288/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16168288/ Sun, 30 Dec 2007 14:48:09 PST
]]> ~Ailoura-aithe http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16078837/ http://Ailoura-aithe.deviantart.com/journal/16078837/ Mon, 24 Dec 2007 14:21:19 PST Hark the herald angel sings
Gabriel plays the tambourine
Raphael plucks at his sitar
Michael rocks the bass guitar
Peter sings along with Hark
Mary dances, so does Mark
Grab a flute and play along
Join in with their Christmas song



Tonight i managed to fool a hall full of people into believing that i'm a good narrator--I think it's the accent

]]> ~Ailoura-aithe