http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:AlaskanEskimoPie&section=today deviantART RSS for by:AlaskanEskimoPie en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 08:55:33 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/7324056/ http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/7324056/ Fri, 16 Dec 2005 01:01:03 PST ]]> ~AlaskanEskimoPie http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5500481/ http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5500481/ Mon, 30 May 2005 08:53:20 PDT him and them and HER is going to take a toll on me that i dont know if i am ready, or willing, to suffer through. life was so much easier when i was the only person he wanted to spend time with and they were aware of their standing in second place behind me and she was in a different country. life is so much easier when you are the first priority of the person you have long considered your own top priority. life is so much easier when the person you love loves you back an equal amount. ]]> ~AlaskanEskimoPie http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5356866/ http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5356866/ Sat, 14 May 2005 14:34:20 PDT ~AlaskanEskimoPie http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5297550/ http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5297550/ Sat, 07 May 2005 22:06:43 PDT ~AlaskanEskimoPie http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5270156/ http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5270156/ Thu, 05 May 2005 00:18:06 PDT
sigh. ]]> ~AlaskanEskimoPie http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5218845/ http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5218845/ Fri, 29 Apr 2005 05:30:04 PDT
its ironic that when i lived at home i tried to stay away as much as possible; i shuddered at the thought of spending time with my family. but once i moved, i realized how much i love it here. and how cool my family is.

i would say that i wish i had realized these things earlier, but i don't think i could have felt this way until after i no longer lived at home.

i suppose that is how things work.

you can't begin to truly appreciate something until it isn't yours to appreciate any more. "please forgive me if i take you for granted." ]]> ~AlaskanEskimoPie http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5195516/ http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/5195516/ Tue, 26 Apr 2005 14:33:38 PDT ~AlaskanEskimoPie http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/4823105/ http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/4823105/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 19:04:11 PST
right, stale gummy worms are going to make us do better on our finals. i forgot that gummy candy is the secret weapon, the thing that suddenly makes you want to start studying instead of watching reruns of law and order on tnt.

one time greg asked me why i love that show so much, and when i thought about it, it has so much more to do with me than it has to do with the show itself. i love that the show has an order to it, a system. the first half of the show is always the detectives chasing down the criminal. and the second half is always the trial. lenny (jerry orbach) is my favorite from the first half because you know he will always make some inappropriate wisecrack right before the opening credits come on. and jack (sam waterson) is the second half predictable guy, because he will always try to get the death penalty whenever he can. i like that if they catch a guy but its still only 15 minutes into the show you know that he is the wrong guy because they still have another 15 minutes before the trial will start. i guess its a comfort thing. when i used to visit my grandparents in las vegas my sisters weren't allowed to stay up but i was old enough and i can remember watching law and order with my parents and my grandparents and feeling so cool that i was old enough and i could read the little subtitles that flash across the screen saying what time it is and where in new york it is (like, "sentencing hearing, 1:45 pm") and i thought i was so smart when i figured out the system and the pattern of the show and i could tell anyone exactly when they had caught the right guy and when the detectives were going to hand the case over to the DA and when jack was going to refuse a plea bargain because he wanted to get the guy "with a needle in his arm."

thats what i miss the most these days, the comfort of things that are predictable but not in an obnoxious way. i miss knowing that i could drive over to his house and he would be there waiting for me to come over, and would say things like "took you long enough." i miss going on drives and getting lost on purpose. i miss lisa always knowing what i was thinking, even when i pretended she was wrong. i nmiss hand-holding and cheek-kissing. and going to bookstores and record stores and being able to be with someone and not be right next to them and still feel like you were. i miss not having to get on a plane to go home, i miss my house and my family and knowing that my mom would try and make me eat dinner with them whenever i walked through the living room and i miss knowing that whenever my favorite clothes were missing it was because my sister stole them and i miss having a curfew that i knew i wouldnt make and knowing that i wouldnt get in trouble anyways. i miss fighting with him and knowing that we would always make up. i miss being close to the things that made me feel safe.

the worst part about it all is that all the things i miss are still back home and they are going on without me, and that everything is the same except i left and im not there being the same with them. and i cant get mad because im the one that left and now the only comfort i have is knowing that every once in a while i can go back there and tell myself that things are the same and for a week or two they will be. but then i leave again and things will continue on even though im not there. and the only comfort im still allowed all the time is law and order and dreaming of times i left behind. ]]> ~AlaskanEskimoPie http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/4816102/ http://AlaskanEskimoPie.deviantart.com/journal/4816102/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 00:17:41 PST
on a more cheerful note, over the weekend i got sam and chris to drive me to berkeley. i visited my sister who was there for some school thing. saw some of my old teachers. ate in n out. first time i had meat since valentine's day.

clearly, i'm a lousy vegetarian.

________________________________________ _

the time spent waiting for company you don't want
the time spent wasting with company you can't keep
the time spent contemplating what the hell you've done with all your time. and it still makes little to no sense, and your head still hurts and so does your stomach and you would count the days until you get on a plane if you could remember what number comes after two, because before recently, two was the only number that mattered, so you never needed to look any further.
two minus one does not equal one. you unfortunately are learning this the hard way.
two minus one equals two apart, and one plus one only works when they're together.
otherwise we're just uncommon denominators, and everyone knows that those don't work ]]> ~AlaskanEskimoPie