http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:AlbinoKrow&section=today deviantART RSS for by:AlbinoKrow en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:53:09 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/27277416/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/27277416/ Fri, 18 Sep 2009 09:25:43 PDT I rather transform
I rather jump and see if I can fly.

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/24586222/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/24586222/ Mon, 04 May 2009 15:18:13 PDT
]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/20192441/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/20192441/ Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:03:32 PDT why do I try to convince myself I am?

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/20068552/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/20068552/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:42:47 PDT I can't relate to most humans.
so I sit here and just observe them.

I mostly hate myself for not being able to find any connection..
and my lack of inspiration and motivation are upsetting..

why do I cage myself in?

most people would tell me
"you're a beautiful girl you shouldn't be so angry or sad"
and I just want to spit in their face as I fake a smile.
what do my looks have to do with my given situation?
I'm as "pretty" as I make myself to be.
looks fade anyway..

I've find it easier to pretend like everything is ok.
Keeping my mind distracted from what I am neglecting inside myself is a lot easier.
but I can't help but feel like I'm poisoning myself.
I seriously lack an outlet.. which is probably why I'm typing this fucking entry.
I can't find anyone to even listen and take me seriously anymore..
all I hear is you're young and pretty blah blah blah

this doesn't help the fact that I'm lonely and lack human attention..
sigh ..I have the overwhelming urge to delete my photos.. later
low self esteem and self loathing just totally rocks.

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/17983185/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/17983185/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:32:21 PDT finally I have crawled free from this cocoon I have created
and to finally feel the sunshine on my colorful wings is heavenly

I'm finally so happy to be here today.
Now maybe things won't be so bad.


I'm beyond words by now....

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/17066141/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/17066141/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 22:28:13 PST I hate how they always seems to thrive inside my body..
But, what I hate more is when I don't feel them anymore..
I've been so numb lately..
I've worn this mask well.. so well I fooled even I.

Sometimes I feel like this town is smothering me..
So, many fimilar faces that just remind me of regret.
But this mask on me..
this mask is shielding everything I've thrived for that past 5 years of my life.
I can't help but wonder why I feel so empty when the pain is gone.
I kept wondering why this visions of masochism enter my mind..
just trying to replace an empty piece of me..
and as hard as I search for it with my fingertips I just vomitt and feel better.

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/16130222/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/16130222/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 21:00:19 PST but what more are you expressing?
what feelings are you trying to portray that hasn't already been said?
what words of beauty hasn't already been felt?
the body parts and sexy poses are ridiculous..
what are you trying to say??

Sure, as humans this is all a common ground
but why base everything around these parts
my boyfriend says I make everything it about it, but am I the only one that notices if there's any woman that is supposedly attractive she automatically has busty breasts and skanky clothes??
we are the ones being objective for organs
why is this an on going struggle?
it's simply annoying...
I don't make it about everything men are the ones that throw it in there when it's completely unrelated.
it's fuckin' ridiculous.. honestly.. don't you fuckin see what all these sexual indowindows are doing to younger generations??
it's like people don't because they are already older .. and think it's mature to put boobs in every movie out there
or they are young and naive and think it's mature to see boobs in every fuckin' movie out there
I don't even know what the hell I'm talking about anymore....!!
I'm just pissed!!
fuckin leave it alone
just stop giving it all away so you can "Feel" sexy
you dumb fuck people have to make it a contest
now you are destroying the fabric of morality
things could be more interesting.. more fun.. but you have to give it away every fuckin' second you get..

I guess what I'm trying to fuckin' say is you people make me sick
I CAN'T EAT HOW MUCH YOU MAKE ME WANT TO VOMIT



I wish I weren't human

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/14918395/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/14918395/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 19:43:28 PDT the world moves so fast
and yet our existence is so silly compared to the rest of the universe
I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore
or even what I'm feeling..
I'm just sort of here...
but there is something in me that keeps bringing me down
maybe I'm just anxious to do the things I can't yet accomplish
it's very frustrating to constantly ask for help
when I so much desire to do it on my own

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/13285448/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/13285448/ Sun, 10 Jun 2007 02:39:34 PDT not and yet another woman in skanky clothing slapped in a seductive pose
and calling it art..

BASICALLY I'm sick of it...
UGH.. can't anyone portray women not as whores?

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/12538965/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/12538965/ Tue, 10 Apr 2007 12:13:45 PDT I deem most my "art" to be crap
I look at other people's all the time
and main just has the crappy look and feeling to it
like its not good at all
it just has this messy thing about it that I hate
basiclly what I'm trying to say is that I should just delete my DA account while I'm ahead

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/11329186/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/11329186/ Fri, 05 Jan 2007 19:35:06 PST and lately.. things seem to change....
I just can't connect with him anymore..
he keeps picking on me when I'm just trying to have a conversation with him
it just makes me think he thinks I'm dumb or something
I don't know.........
I knew this would probably happen one day
where we would just have a falling out
I guess I just didn't want it to be now
I wish we could still see eye to eye
and I've been trying to play nice
but I can't take any of the picking on me anymore
he just belittles me. it gets rather annoying
it makes me sad but I don't see thing changing for the better here

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/11226763/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/11226763/ Thu, 28 Dec 2006 19:35:07 PST hermmmaaaaaa.. argh.......

DA keeps deleting my damn icons
cuz of "copyright laws"
OH SUCK IT!
thats stuuuupid
seriously!
I wasnt taking credit for the fuckin picture just
making it small enough for icon use
pig fuckin whore!

anyways apparently if I want to edit a picture of Siouxsie
I have to go and track her down take the picture of her then edit
I'm fuckin 18 no fuckin way I can fuckin ....fuckin .......fuckin... find her!
and if I did then fuckin fuck........................... FUCK FUCK FUCK
sigh............ fuck you da!

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/10922949/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/10922949/ Sat, 02 Dec 2006 09:08:32 PST they are just a bunch that I've meant to upload but haven't
please comment that would be ever so nice

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/10270151/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/10270151/ Tue, 03 Oct 2006 11:14:12 PDT
I got tagged by Darthy01 and I thank him . I had fun writing this journal.

Rules: The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours....

1# I sniff my cups before I put anything in them

2# I sniff my cat O.o HA HA!

3# my ears stick out so I hardly ever wear my hair up

4# I'm complusive sometimes.. like I've skipped work to go to concert when I only heard about it that day

5 # I'm most disgusted but find canniblism interesting

6# I rather watch someone play a complex video game then me play it like final fantsy

I am tagging these deviants:
1#BlacKrow

2#KZEES

3# MasterCleese

4#CactusJack

5#sanepsyko

6#xInSaNeX

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/10239800/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/10239800/ Sat, 30 Sep 2006 18:14:02 PDT and say everything will be different next year
that things will get better

sometimes I tell my friend's that same lie
when inside I know it's not true
at least not for me
when I hit bottom
I get a shovel and dig a myself even lower

I don't belong here amoung social peeps
I'm fragile and dysfunctional


I am lower then dirt


I like to pretend sometimes that I'm talented
I sing when no one is around to hear
and I draw to pass time when I feel socailly unacceptable during school hours
but I strongly feel like these are also lies I tell myself
just to make me feel better

does it sound like I'm self loathing?
I don't like to call it that
basicly because I just want to tear myself apart
most the time and start from scratch
I like to see it as
blindly seeing the truth
realizing my faults and trying to
instigate a way to fix them

most the time I want to disappear
just to shelter myself for a bit
sigh........

]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/9571359/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/9571359/ Tue, 01 Aug 2006 22:21:40 PDT feel the urge to relate to you on everything
in attempt for you to like them
when you first meet them
they are like the biggest ass kissers
its just like " great since we have so much in common
why don't we get funkin' married"

it really has to be the most
pathetic attempt to get someone to like you
it's cool to have stuff in common
but I'm not interested in knowing someone
exactly like me

I like variety in my friends
I like more colours in my crayonbox
not a dupilcate personality
listen, I already know someone like me
and that's me..
I like hanging around someone different
it makes things way more interesting

the people I talk to are different
and colorful people
they aren't fake
they aren't trying to be my imposter

I like people from different cultures
not a cookie cut out
I like my friends to be real ]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/5578186/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/5578186/ Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:22:02 PDT


The sunrise this morning is beautiful.



I still have many miles to walk. Rocky paths, over mountains, through valleys, and down rivers. Who knows which path I'll take. I'll only know when I get there. I hope for the best. Be careful with footing, watch out for snakes.



Stop and rest. Just admire the scenery; it won't stay like this forever.

I got to keep moving though…… I have many miles to walk.



I come to the foot of a steep mountain. Rocky and crooked. No way around. Forced to go over I start my way. Carrying the weight of my things on my back. The sun starts beating down on me as the morning turns into noon. It's hot and I’m sweating, struggling just to get by. No one around to help me.



Footing is the key.



I finally make it to the top of the mountain, and I find some trees to camp for the night. Tonight I'll sleep in a tent; the woods block my view of the beautiful stars.



Too many bugs, too many bugs, and animals howl all night. What rotten luck I have. What rotten luck.

Horrible night, sleeping on rocks. Bad dreams wake me at night. I can't wait until morning.



Morning finally and a raccoon has stolen my food. But I must keep moving, even with an empty stomach. There's a river near the foot of the mountain. If only, if only I can make it there soon. I could go fishing.



Survival of the fittest, life is a test.



I once again pack up all my things baring the weight upon my back. Walking towards the path heading down the mountain with an empty stomach. After a long days work I finally make it and all is well again. I stop by the river to go fishing. Catch some fish and prepare a fire.

A stranger walks my way. Sits across from me by the fire. Politely, I offer some fish. We talk for hours, but soon it’s time for me to go.

"Stay longer," the stranger says. But I really must go.

"Then I'll come with you," the stranger suggests

We follow the path by the river and we come to dividing point. Two paths we must pick one.

One crooked and dark, and the other the has sun shining through the trees

The stranger starts to walk the crooked path but I do not want to go.

" I want to walk the other" but the stranger doesn't listen. Grabbing my hand tugging my arm towards the crooked path. I resist " I said no, I want to walk the other"

"But this way is faster," the stranger says

"I don't care, this isn't the way I choose," I plead

So I depart from the stranger taking the other path.

Although I'm alone again I feel better, because this is what I choose. It’s my life. My choice.



There are many obstacles on life's journey. No one can choose what path I take for me. I'll climb mountains and sleep under the stars, and I’ll do it alone if I have to, but I must keep moving. It doesn't matter how far I walk as long as I don't give up. Life isn't always what you expect, but just remember life is hard.




Walk the path alone and no one will see you stumble. ]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/5437599/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/5437599/ Mon, 23 May 2005 10:32:51 PDT ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/5254085/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/5254085/ Tue, 03 May 2005 07:59:39 PDT Nothing can bring me down
I'll stand strong no matter what you say
blow up the outside world
........................................ ..................

I'm stuck at school, I hate being here
I have no friends here, none that I can really hang around
Sure, I can talk to Dustin and Ashlee, but to hang around them all the time I feel like I'm bothering them
I am also the victim of being bothered, people always talking to me when I just want to be alone
This morning I was sitting by myself in the hall when three guys came up to mock me, just to poke fun at me. I told them to go away and the laughed... I'm just another game, another joke

I think what I hate more is when people get in my business... first hour the guy infront of me likes to go through my things.. Thats a no no to do to Angela.. second hour this girl never shuts the fuck up, esp when I'm trying to take a nap on the library couch. People piss me off, to hell with them..
........................................ ........................
talked to wes yesterday, told him I loved him even though I want to smack him upside the head sometimes. I couldn't get ahold of Logan yesterday though. He called the night before but I was away from my phone. well I better go before I get caught on the computer ]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3807139/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3807139/ Thu, 11 Nov 2004 05:10:55 PST I'm nothing
Isn't this what you wanted me to be?
I'm stupid
I cant do anything right
Isn't this the way you wanted things to turn out?
I'm ugly
I'm a pain in you're side
Are you happy yet?
I'm someone to hurt
I'm someone to push around
Isn't this what I mean to you?
I'm nobody
I'm a waste of skin
Aren't these the words you said to me?
You'll be happy when I'm gone
You can't stand me
Are these tears because of you?
I swallow my pride
I'm a shame to you
Is this what you see me as?
I leave you alone
I'll be better I promise
I'll swallow my pride again to make it up to you ]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3797253/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3797253/ Tue, 09 Nov 2004 20:38:41 PST Tired of being called hurtful names
Sick of this feeling of loneliness
Sick of me and my worthlessness
Being backstabbed by my friends
with this question it never ends
Why must I feel this way
Why should you make me stay
Feeling lonely I stay a stray
With my sorrow and betray
What is this portrait I shall make
To make you proud and no mistakes
When I need help you turn your back
And my trust all soon cracks
I look at you with a different thought
And your lies I soon just caught
I feel no need for you no more
Now to you I'm just a little whore
I wish you could see things my way
Dad, maybe I'll make you proud someday ]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3775429/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3775429/ Sun, 07 Nov 2004 10:39:14 PST Gets the best of me
Everytime
He knows everything
You don't see it
But please know it's there
Is it so bad
That I feel alive
When I take the life of another man
Watch them bleed
Watch them suffer
Is it so bad
That I want to destroy everything
Or is it just me
The one with the mind of sinner
Seeing with eyes unclean
Dirty soul
Cuts are bleeding
And I hear them crying
Wanting freedom
Take it away from me
Crying souls
Something is coming
Could be the end
To you and these pointless souls
And I'll do it one more time
Just to feel alive again ]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3742916/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3742916/ Wed, 03 Nov 2004 12:40:59 PST Undecided descions scorch my mind
Cutting so deep inside of me
Kissing death on the lips in hope to die

You of all people put me here
Organize my thoughts and never look back
Under hell's spell I take a knife to rid myself of you ]]> ~AlbinoKrow http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3672166/ http://AlbinoKrow.deviantart.com/journal/3672166/ Mon, 25 Oct 2004 15:38:36 PDT
Anyhow, Kelly is moving away. That's makes me sad. My friend and only companion is leaving I don't want her to go.

la la la la I don't know what else to say other than I still like Aaron and I am a lil mad at him for cheating on his girlfriend with me.I saw him the other day when Kelly and I were at the pep rally. Yes, he was with his girlfriend. So, there went em saying 'hi'. God, why do I still like him? I want him bad. I get lonely :-/ ]]> ~AlbinoKrow