http://browse.deviantart.com/journals/?order=5&q=by%3AAliceInUnderland deviantART RSS for in:journals sort:time by:AliceInUnderland en-us Copyright 2013, deviantART.com Mon, 20 May 2013 05:37:42 PDT deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://st.deviantart.net/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Threadless-226881100 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Threadless-226881100 Tue, 20 Apr 2010 01:07:11 PDT Threadless... nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2010-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
http://www.threadless.com/submission/268423/Once_Bitten_Twice_Shy

Go there, click buttons, make me proud! ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/I-m-back-baby-227303087 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/I-m-back-baby-227303087 Thu, 01 Apr 2010 18:07:32 PDT I'm back baby! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2010-2013 ~AliceInUnderland http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Woooo-It-s-Meh-Birfday-234142972 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Woooo-It-s-Meh-Birfday-234142972 Sat, 17 Jan 2009 11:05:18 PST Woooo It's Meh Birfday! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2009-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
F-ing 19!

Take it!

Now I'm like a year cooler, or something like that...

Alright, I'll go now...

Oh, wait...by the way...for all of you weirdos out there, you know who I'm talking about *points*, read Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist and then suck it as Twilight rolls over in it's sparkly grave. ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/WOOOOOOOOOOO-235068266 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/WOOOOOOOOOOO-235068266 Tue, 04 Nov 2008 21:21:04 PST WOOOOOOOOOOO! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2008-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Hot damn, hope tastes like rainbows XD ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/my-dark-desire-s-Insanity-Contest-Features-237247055 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/my-dark-desire-s-Insanity-Contest-Features-237247055 Mon, 05 May 2008 12:38:35 PDT my-dark-desire's Insanity Contest Features nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2008-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
First place feature:  :thumb78806656:

Insanity Inside Me by :devmerl1ncz: is a very well executed, dark depiction of a mind we can all - in one way or another, whether you like it or not - relate to. I loved this piece from the moment I laid eyes on it, it was destined for first.

Second place feature:  :thumb83688306:

Culpability by :devvisualjenna: is a nicely blended photo manipulation that, when you really look at it, seems to point directly at all those skeletons in your closet. Culpability is wonderfully executed in ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Epic-238382161 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Epic-238382161 Fri, 18 Jan 2008 14:08:14 PST Epic nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2008-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
:dance: ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Tra-la-la-la-la-238590951 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Tra-la-la-la-la-238590951 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 03:19:11 PST Tra-la-la-la-la! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2007-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
I sold my very first T-shirt to the lovely and very supporting :devgodofmyworld: and she's got another one coming for a friend. This makes me extremely happy, like...seriously happy....
Like, I could choke on my own tongue happy :D
Melt my face off happy...
Strangle kittens happy...

Just so everyone knows - and it's out there - contact me if you're interested in purchasing one of my super fantastic doesn't-get-any-better-than-this(not-really-but-go-with-it-anyway) pictures/paintings or whatever smooshed onto a T-Shirt.

Apart from that - I'm saving up my monies to buy a new camera (I sold my old ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Rocky-HORROR-Picture-Show-239191900 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Rocky-HORROR-Picture-Show-239191900 Sun, 28 Oct 2007 03:16:47 PDT Rocky HORROR Picture Show nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2007-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
It was hot, sweaty, corrupted and most of the actors and actresses didn't know their lines and there was this strange little woman that preformed a very interesting strip tease for us all to the beginning credits that had absolutely nothing to do with the movie ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Filtered-239340659 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Filtered-239340659 Thu, 11 Oct 2007 23:57:12 PDT Filtered? nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2007-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
What the fuck Deviantart? I mean, I know that there are plenty of people who have not been putting on Mature Content warnings on some VERY mature content pictures and little ones who have been accidentally exposed to genitalia - but why ruin it for the rest of us mature, artistically driving individuals?

Putting an 18 or older sign on the Mature Content is for PORN - you can walk out anywhere and see nipples on publically displayed metal sculptures, paintings, drawings just about anything. But we can't ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/DD-239535114 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/DD-239535114 Thu, 20 Sep 2007 18:12:20 PDT DD! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2007-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Thank you all who have supported me! :love:! ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Eat-Me-Drink-Me-Oh-Dear-Sweet-God-240541687 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Eat-Me-Drink-Me-Oh-Dear-Sweet-God-240541687 Mon, 28 May 2007 22:44:31 PDT Eat Me, Drink Me, Oh Dear Sweet God... nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2007-2013 ~AliceInUnderland Oh Dear Sweet Merciful God....
Oh Dear Sweet Loving God....

I'm not one to believe or even deny the existence of God...and I think that if there was one, It wouldn't condone piracy...but slap me on the ass and call me Ishmael if I ain't no damned Pirate!

Recently - not so recent at all - I caught wind that Marilyn was coming out with an "album that was written simply to seduce" and a little bit of pee came out. I was so disappointed when he said he wasn't going to do what got me absolutely giddy anymore (at least from my understanding, he was "retiring" because he was getting married). And on June 5th, his new album ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Da-Da-Da-dah-240633874 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Da-Da-Da-dah-240633874 Thu, 17 May 2007 14:13:27 PDT Da! Da! Da-dah! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2007-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Ahem...anyway...on a different note!

I found an old Gameboy color that was my brother's (mine was red XD, but I can't find mine :( ) and he gave it to me...along with a copy of my favorite game: SUPERMARIOLAND! w00t! I got a personal best level today...My eyes hurt now XD But the downside to playing is that it has no battery back, so I'm constantly fidgeting with the untouchables...

:dance:
:dance:
:dance: ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Hrm-241033797 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Hrm-241033797 Wed, 28 Mar 2007 02:06:23 PDT Hrm.... nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2007-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Haha, just kidding...No I am kinda sicky though. Spent most of the day trying to vomit - but I never succeeded :( I think I would've felt better if I did XD

Let's see....I dyed my hair, got new make-up...and (I know you all don't care but nayh) I got my ears pierced finally.

You see...I have always had a strange disturbance of holes in the body (at least ones that weren't supposed to be there ;) ) and so I freaked out whenever someone would ask me to get my ears hole-ed...Buuuuut....I've been trying th ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/I-love-you-so-much-241176881 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/I-love-you-so-much-241176881 Sat, 10 Mar 2007 00:45:11 PST I love you so much! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2007-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
http://s15.photobucket.com/albums/a375/AliceInUnderland/?action=view¤t=AnnieAndLisa.flv

Enjoy! (It's only 6 seconds long XD ) ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Nyah-241566943 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Nyah-241566943 Fri, 19 Jan 2007 15:46:16 PST Nyah! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2007-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
W00T
EDIT: B-DAY PRESENT:::

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a375/AliceInUnderland/Camera.jpg ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/WOOT-242110456 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/WOOT-242110456 Mon, 30 Oct 2006 12:27:45 PST WOOT! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Anyway, I just got back from California. I had an art show (squee, yes I had an art show...my third one XD) and I had soooo much fun...There were squirrels....so many squirrels! See:

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a375/AliceInUnderland/california0512.jpg   - SQUIRREL!

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a375/AliceInUnderland/california0352.jpg  - SQUIRREL!

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a375/AliceInUnderland/california0432.jpg - SQUIRREL!

And! http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a375/AliceInUnderland/california032.jpg - SQUIRREL ON MY LAP! XD (yes, that's me...and my awesome BAM sweater...you can't see my face t ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Hahahaha-242240211 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Hahahaha-242240211 Fri, 06 Oct 2006 16:21:15 PDT Hahahaha nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/40975432/?&q=by%3Aaliceinunderland+in%3Ascraps&qh=sort%3Atime

Tell me what you think or die. ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/The-Update-That-No-One-Will-Read-P-1-250855456 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/The-Update-That-No-One-Will-Read-P-1-250855456 Sat, 26 Aug 2006 02:21:51 PDT The Update That No One Will Read P.1 nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
But we're slowly working toward a neat little white-room...just in case you're wond ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Argh-250746593 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Argh-250746593 Fri, 18 Aug 2006 15:22:32 PDT Argh! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Oh, and go here....humor me

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/38249617/?q=by%3Aaliceinunderland+in%3Ascraps+sort%3Atime ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/I-m-At-A-Loss-250478560 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/I-m-At-A-Loss-250478560 Thu, 15 Jun 2006 23:05:45 PDT I'm At A Loss nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Al ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Oh-Noes-250189020 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Oh-Noes-250189020 Fri, 14 Apr 2006 11:46:25 PDT Oh Noes! nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
My brother got a dog a few nights again, he seems to like her okay, though he never takes care of her. But its alright, I have no problem in feeding and walking the little shit. She's pretty cute, part St. Bernard and Lab - mutt of all things :) - and her name (which, coincidently, I seemed to pick) is Blik.

The only problem we have with her is that she wont stay off the damn couch, and it's only my mum that has a problem with it. No matter how many times we push her off and say no - or take some other matters of punishment - she just hops back up. I think it's b ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242683195 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242683195 Sun, 09 Apr 2006 23:28:46 PDT Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
It hasn't been horrible at all, I mean it's been a bit bumpy - several times I came across an unhappy face and all I could dwell on was what I could have possibly done wrong. I actually balled myself to sleep earlier because I thought someone was mad at me, I still don't know if they are or not - but I suppose that really doesn't matter now.

On top of it all, my therapist called a few days ago to talk with me, ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242692595 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242692595 Tue, 04 Apr 2006 03:14:31 PDT Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
I've realized that people are only sweet when they want something, when acting the way they are can benefit them in some way. And with their sweetness, your soul starts to melt and your hope of a better day begins to swell like a thumb under a hammer. But good things never last, and sweet always turns to sour, and when they get what they want they'll leave you broke hearted. Alone.

Then when you're cr ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/JOY-JOY-JOY-242693315 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/JOY-JOY-JOY-242693315 Mon, 03 Apr 2006 15:45:44 PDT JOY JOY JOY nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Her name is Letifuer (Letta Fuer), she's young and not as large as Elly - but she's still big enough to cover the palm of my hand - more of a golden color and she ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242697499 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242697499 Fri, 31 Mar 2006 22:50:09 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
I told her that if she wanted me to lose weight (I've been biking whenever I have the chance about 9-18 miles going back and forth through Veneta and Elmira) that I co ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242711671 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242711671 Wed, 22 Mar 2006 23:46:35 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
I'm reserved and cautious.

What an odd world we live in. It may have had something to do with my parents and their relationship together that changed me, or it may have been the experiences I've had. It's not like I haven't had what most people call a 'boyfriend' - I've had several, and I've hated them all. Fucking Harpies ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/The-Fuck-Update-242712134 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/The-Fuck-Update-242712134 Wed, 22 Mar 2006 17:33:31 PST The Fuck-Update nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
It's funny how we take things for advantage until we've lost them. You don't realize how much you miss it until it's gone.

Now this is photoshop, I'm being dramatic, but I'm not just homing in on adobe. I'm going for loved ones and sappy shit like that - now I'm not quite sure how this originated from photosho ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Fuck-Fuck-Fuck-242713709 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Fuck-Fuck-Fuck-242713709 Tue, 21 Mar 2006 17:31:28 PST Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
So, for a while, I may be shit outta luck.

Bad News: Not very confident in getting it back up either, something always goes wrong when I try to re-install it, shitty activation code. So I'm probably going to be bored to death.

Bad News:

Good News: Saved all my kinky little brushes before it fell down, and I'm currently listening to Hungarian Gypsy music...*dances* ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242727300 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242727300 Mon, 13 Mar 2006 03:48:26 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Well, we've answered that question.

I've had bruises on my body, bruises on my ego and cuts on my arms from you. I want to peel them from me and make you swallow them, choke on what I've been eating for a year now, feel how I've been feeling. You wouldn't be able to stand it. And yet you say it's not that ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242735033 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242735033 Wed, 08 Mar 2006 03:36:05 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Friends are slashing at their wrists, lies are slipping through their lips, does it impress you at all? Does it make you wish you were someone else? They have pills for that you know. O, I know all too well.

It's just those little things.

I smell like 4 am, I'm sure I taste like it, too. I haven't a tongue in my veins, we just don't know anymore. I'm so tired of these games.

I quit.

We all fall down. ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242738121 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242738121 Mon, 06 Mar 2006 02:51:07 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
I've recently discovered that I have a detachment problem (I think I may have mentioned it in an earlier journal). I'm dull and uninterested and when something happens - good or bad - I become a doll. A mannequin, something that doesn't speak or move, it just stares out in front, waiting for its time to come alive again. But slowly I've found that the more and more it happens, the harder it is to become a living being again, ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242738360 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242738360 Sun, 05 Mar 2006 21:22:58 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
And that's exactly what you have, my dear. A dream. But what you can't see is that you're holding on to it too tightly, you're choking it. You're choking me.

I can't breathe, darling.

And if I die, if you kill me - strangle me - then you'll have nothing left. Your life will be an empty void of space - or so you say. So if - and when - you lose me, do you think I'll be there to tell you I told you so ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242743018 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242743018 Sat, 04 Mar 2006 02:13:14 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
So it's raining outside, hand me my leather and let's hit the town. I'm tired of dying alone in this bloody house, constantly hounded by manipulative conversations and nightmares that leave me breathless. But it's not those kinds of nightmares I want, I want the kind with your teeth in them, with your bones by my bed, with your flesh peeled over mine. I want the ones that have your death i ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242742492 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242742492 Fri, 03 Mar 2006 04:22:52 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
You'd set boundaries, remind yourself of your parents, try with all your might to show them you love them. But what if they didn't get what you were trying to get across? What if they thought that you were being mean and restricting, that it was simply for the power rather than love?

They don't know, that with every mark they make, they're erasing a bit of me, they're proving that they'd rather lose me then stop destroying themselves. I can't prove ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242742598 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242742598 Fri, 03 Mar 2006 01:12:05 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
But who am I to say such a thing? I'm just a child.

When you love someone so much it hurts, so much that you're sure that its got to be something other than love, how do you finally identify that feeling? The truth is, no matter how hard you try, you cannot possibly comprehend love at such an early age. There is no such thing as love at 16. Yes, there are infatuations that only are in the flesh, but those can be overlooked, put back into the bin, becaus ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242742929 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242742929 Thu, 02 Mar 2006 19:41:11 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
Two little words that can fix hell, or prolong it. No matter how many times I try, how many hours I sit staring whatever the problem is, I cannot - for the life of me - say those two little words. They're impossible, incomprehensible, unbearable.

So I can't help it, I can't stop it, I'm sorry for anyone - and everyone - who reads this. I'm sorry that I rant, I'm sorry that I'm intolerable. I'm sorry for the words I've said, and the words I haven't. I'm sorry that I've made people hate me, and I'm sorry that I've made people love me.

But as I hurt them, they cry because I can't anymore.

I'm sorry. ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242744221 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242744221 Thu, 02 Mar 2006 01:14:11 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
It's only been a few hours since my last journal entry, but fuck it, it's 1 AM, technically the next day, no?

Shut up...

I must be pulling the trigger all wrong, because no matter what I do, the bullets won't come out. And in sense - I've long discovered that the gun I've been playing with isn't real. It's merely a shadow of what a gun could be, a plastic mold, a childs toy. I've been handed gun after gun after fucking gun, expected afterwords to shoot myself. Countless bullets, countless shells, but they're all fake. It seems that no one trusts me anymore, I'm no longer the walking vessel of a hu ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242744322 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242744322 Wed, 01 Mar 2006 20:53:40 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
I'm a girl who can't say no loud enough for anyone to hear.

Life can wait and right now it's all about how bloody cold I am, how strong I am, how keen I am to those around me. Oh yes, I've been played, betrayed, put down and generally underestimated. But that's all because of the image I uphold. People think I'm stupid. Period. End of story.

Just so ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242747119 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242747119 Tue, 28 Feb 2006 03:32:04 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
I confide many things to 4 am, I feel like I'm paralyzed in my anonymity of a death bed with my mother by my side - who seems to already regard me as dead - and the only one I can confide my sins to is 4 am.

I've done many things wrong in my life, and it's so short - 16 years filled with making fools out of friends, secretly loving worst enemies and breaking down family. If I could list every time I've lashed out, every time I've lashed inward, every cut I've made and every cut I've delivered - 4 am would not allow me to love it any lo ]]> http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242754015 http://aliceinunderland.deviantart.com/journal/Devious-Journal-Entry-242754015 Sat, 25 Feb 2006 00:59:51 PST Devious Journal Entry nonadult journals/personal AliceInUnderland http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/aliceinunderland.gif Copyright 2006-2013 ~AliceInUnderland
    But on the lighter side of conversation, I grew up a little (and became a BIT more sociopat ]]>