http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Amar-Arte&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Amar-Arte en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 30 Nov 2009 11:45:30 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/20500320/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/20500320/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 04:54:18 PDT
I don't know why but I hated here. I just want to go to some place where no one knows me. or simply I may develope new things for me...I mean like I can make myself into someone new. because honestly surrounded by people who actually knew you, it seemed to be hard.

hmph...or probably I just want to runaway from here. to runaway from the things that I hate the most. the money, temptation, broken heart, envy, jealousy? all that kind of stuff. or probably because I don't want to see him again? but...poor him. he doesn't have anything to do my anger. but he's not also an inocense guy. lots of things to care for, lots of thing for me to think about it.

I just want to go there, so if I get tired of the world I can have a place to hide, to runaway or simply just to walk in the cold wind of winter. I just want to be there...that's all.

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/19946250/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/19946250/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:14:28 PDT
but this time a fair crush. I like him, and I think he likes me too...(I think!) here's a thing guys, don't ever reply something or do anything to a girl who likes you. here's a clue, girls are intreprenter. we tend to intreper something that you guys do to us, and we asume that everything based on like or dislike.

for my case, yes he reply or sending me a feedback. he's a good guy, but we have tons of differences. but somehow that didn't stop me to liking him. he's a rude man, but then again so am I (sometimes). and the thing that ecxite me the most is that I can balance how I showed him how I feel, because sometimes I tend to do aggresive things to the guy that I like. now..I can be more relax, and sit back. I have tons of things I need to take care of, but then again I still show him how I really care for him.

I don't want him to always be with me, or to go out with me...sometimes I like to keep secret from him. or do something else without him. but then again, if I do that he tend to ask me why am I didn't ask him to go together...and I just went gaga..LOL
anyway...for now I just thank God, for this weird and strange relationship. no string attached, but I'm still fine with it. hehe I guess I just need the atention from a man, and that's what I got from him...or even more. sooo Thank God for that. because I think I like him more...

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/18094034/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/18094034/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:48:03 PDT well being like or in love with someone.

turn out...yeah I'm not that ready to fall in love again or just being happly or madly in love. sometimes I just get tired of it. with that stupid thing that I usually do.

yeah I think...probably just to take a break of love
just for a quite while I'm not going to take love as a serious matter, just a nother thing that happen to people surrounding me... but not me

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/18001903/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/18001903/ Thu, 24 Apr 2008 04:41:51 PDT why can't I see it before?

with your weird hair, and your football uniform. strange tough as I like you.
they guy who as nothing as I like before...

dream or was it real to be. its weird, I never fall for someone like you.
common...man! how come I fell for this teriblly for this guy! man common!!!
I hate to have this feeling! it's killing me...I can't see him,, he barely knew me
and I barely knew him.

was God really sent him for me? or was it just the thought of mine? I never have a crush wtih a guy in a same religion...and same church point of view. these things never happen to me. I mean I fell for a guy in a different religion , or a different point of view...
but never this same a like.

if it is...then let be it. let it be true...don't killing me..It hurts just to be apart. not knowing what he is doing, not knowing where he is...its killing me...bcoz I like him a lot.

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17599201/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17599201/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:47:35 PDT was it hard for guys to really understand what I'm trying to do?

to support him in every kind of way
to always remind him about things called life.

or was I just a sister for him?
just still a kid who don't know anything about love
who only playing around with guys and her own feeling?

why can't he sees it?
I know there is someone.
I understand the path that he's taking

I get so breathless!!!
why does it sounded weird when you call my name.
'Lingkan'
as the word I never knew before, and it's driving me mad.
he says my name and it felt like a thunderbold hits me

ow...you really are some one of the kind guy. (if only I can tell you that)
you have a not-so-bad look, you are romantic, you understand people
what more can women ask for a guy like you?

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17567385/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17567385/ Sat, 29 Mar 2008 03:17:11 PDT
the other thing is when I was walking around near the river Thames, near the London Eye. taking picture looking up to the skies. I know it wasn't as blue as in Indonesia...but the chill and the condition...I LOVE IT. even though it was so fuckin cold, but hey I love it so dearly. everything is perfect!



Paint a picture,
Clear cut and pale on a cold winter's day,
Shapes and cool light wander the streets like an army of strays,
On a cold winters day.

Chorus:
Will you let me romanticize,
The beauty in our London Skies,
You know the sunlight always shines,
Behind the clouds of London Skies.

Patient moments chill to the bone under infinite greys,
Vision hindered mist settling low like a ghostly ballet,
On a cold winter's day.

Chorus

Bridge:
Nothing is certain except everything you know can change,
you worship the sun but now,
can you fall for the rain...

Chorus

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17452766/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17452766/ Sat, 22 Mar 2008 04:06:20 PDT call me it because that's what I've felt.

I miss London...

as weird as it is because for this past week I've never think about London anymore. I more consetrate to my education, all the assignment that I needed to do, all the job that kept me away from missing or wanting to go back.

honestly I think deep down inside I still miss London no matter what.
probably because this is such a long and draging holiday, so I've got nothing to do
the thought of London came back to me.

the feeling missing my family...to be there at the house. to have a blast laugh with them. to tell my day or my story to my mom. remembered being scared the day I arrive, and she scare the hell out of me, that I have to pay about 150 pounds per night. and how I sneak into her son's room in the middle of the night. hearing her screaming trough the house calling all her children.

how he always tease me around, and scared me about ghosts, and how I always yell at him or chase him around the house or even missing to hear 'you want to suck my dick?!' yeah I know such a crazy he was, and how he cursed my real parents in Indonesia n I have to make him appology for that. :gloub:

I miss her...the one who always kept me company in the middle of the night. playing buying all this presents for our family, and then he came into her room to interupe when we are playing. she also the one who hug me for being missing me. and she seems to miss me aswell (so I thought).

and...ah...him (the one in baby bro) what can I say about him...I guess you all already knew about him. I miss him aswell. I know he is a fuckin jerk, but he actually a nice guy. he loves his family as same as I love his family. so so so so MUCH!

I miss all of them. they really made my day in London. everyday wouldn't be so exited as I get back home and have dinner in the table and have a debate with all of them. LOL
I love them all, I did. until know I still remember the route to my home.

the other reason why I called it home is simply I can be the real me. this is the real family that I expected to be. have a real fight with all of them, to laugh out loud, and to cry. even my mom encourage me to go out in the middle of the night to go to the club. they really understand me, they know me well...all the things that I never told to my real parents I told them everything about me inside and out all the bitches thing I did and what I love to doing. I love them so so dearly.

I miss London...
I miss my family...
I want to come back and stay....

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17447893/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17447893/ Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:55:58 PDT
he is someone who was hurted me really badly.
I wanted to cry so hard but no, I can't.
even when I landed back from London, still can't really enjoy living my life without ever seeing his face.
it's not that I miss him or I still love him,no.

I know it would be a foolish thing to do if I still love him.
such a temper and drunk guy...no.
but I am really worried about him...the things that he usually do is so rectless.
I'm afraid that he might have done something foolish not just for himself but for another

this is the secret I never said...he stole a kiss from my lips.
silly of me to let him be.

but really yeah...I'm curious how is he? what are the things that lately he's been doing? go to gym and partying or having sex with different women every single day?

ow...my dear bro. how is it to be...
I mean I know him more, even himself or his family.
because I already experience that (not the sex nor partying part), but the feeling to be abandod with your own family, to feel like you don't exists in your own family. I've been there and that's why I know him more than everybody else. I even watched him cry.
I know he is angry, I know he is envy...jealous.


but...whatever it is be I think I'll stay put. being the shoulder for him to cry on. that's why somehow I want to make him right. don't do rectless thing, be more better. we had the same case, I just don't want to see him fall while I'm here knowing that I can help but couldn't do nothing.

please be better...I know you are nice, I know you are a gentleman deep down. just love yourself....

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17418152/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17418152/ Wed, 19 Mar 2008 21:51:07 PDT

this is the most stupidest thing I've ever experience. I just called from my friend to have another reunion of EF London last December. LOL I can't even stop smiling. this thing really is stupid I mean, such a sudden. but yeah...I really enjoy it, finally I can watch the horror movie that I longing to watch! LETS SCREAM OUR LUNGS OUT!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA

because recently I have like tons of things to do stress about the assignment from campus, and dealing with personal feeling. how stupid it is...finally I can scream, and having a great laugh with all my friends...

going to PIM and be totally crazy....yeah!!! what a nice weekend it started to be! hore! hore! :cheers:
don't stop me now, because I miss them all... + I want all my photos in my friend camera while we are in London...
howcome I miss London right now? weird! LOL

anyway don't care about that! the important thing is that I wanted to meet all my friends again and have a great major laugh!

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17356273/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17356273/ Sun, 16 Mar 2008 01:16:10 PDT but for me...it's every.

At this present time, yes I do like someone.
define 'like'?
it is the sittuation where I have this special feeling for another person. when I met him I felt so rejoice, and hurted wanted to cry if I'm not. the feeling that always force me to keep smiling. just hoping and wishing to be with him everytime.

but the feeling that I have must sealed away. no one should know, no no one. even him. you may say I've put the weight on me.
well...it is because this is my feeling, this is what I felt for him.
and again I can't love him...really really can't.

today I've learned that sience have something to do with our feeling to like or love. how come it happen? what the hell our chemical have to do with love or like?
first of all....duh! it's you body, if you don't have such hormons you probably can't feel love or like.
second... (silence)

Ok here it goes.

when you see a guy or a girl...that person have a signal, and being sent to you. your brain get the signal and consume it...from that the brain worked to find the matching chemical. if it's then you realize that you like this girl or guy. (hard to understand? well...I can't really wrote it down)

Love, is something not common for me. I always felt it since I was a kid (seriously). I don't know what's wrong with me, but the first time I like a guy from kindergarden (LOL). can't really explain whats wrong with me, but that's me at that time.

I've hurted by love and I become traumatic for it. I can't fall in love again...well I can, it's just I don't want to make it anymore further. I've been hurt, and I don't want to feel those pain again, it felt like a thorn stuck on your skin and you can't let it go.
it's same the other way, I don't want to hurt anybody because of the feeling that I have. because Loving someone is not a sin,dear. It's magical thing...that I just said before it could be tested in sience...

I don't want to be with love again...I guess that's enough for me. until I found the best time to fell in love again, eventhough it's not with the right person. I can ask for Him to help me to know.

bye bye love, see ya!

]]> ~Amar-Arte http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17200185/ http://Amar-Arte.deviantart.com/journal/17200185/ Wed, 05 Mar 2008 18:26:02 PST why is it you think like me?

is it strange for a guy tho think that he still a kid. while I think I am still a baby.
why are you being so kind?
why is your smile like a poison, that kill me instantly?

you are the most rare guy I've ever known.
the only man that I knew like that.
personally I love you, but when I see you I hated you badly.

you are the nicest thing:
I've ever seen...
I've ever known
I've ever feel

didn't say it was love
some other feeling it was that strike me.

dearie me...don't want to make it pass
just like a blowing wind

]]> ~Amar-Arte