http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Apostate-Angel&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Apostate-Angel en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:23:39 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/23671932/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/23671932/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 07:00:46 PDT



]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21978875/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21978875/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 11:06:26 PST
But I'm not all gloom and doom, something good happened to me and here they are,

1) I got an A in a subject that I had a mental breakdown in. 2) I finally made friends with an Acquaintance who I always had some sense of awkwardness with.
3) I got a job and its almost christmas time
and finally: *drum roll*

...
...
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...
..
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MY PARENT'S SAID I COULD GO TO NSCAD AFTER I GRADUATE! which is much sooner mind you. Namely April 2010!

My mom said the following,

"Marlon Don't ask me for a christmas gift this year becuase your christmas Gift will be NSCAD! and Yes you will go!"

So pray for me guys that I'll be there soon!
And thanks so much to all my friends here who've consoled me here!

~AA

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21794217/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21794217/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 04:28:05 PST . so here's a random journal.

LALALALALALALALA

~AA

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21287747/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21287747/ Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:59:04 PST Okay here's the deal, many people may already know this and the people who do I've annoyed them greatly. but the thing is I have a problem, that affects my personal life so deeply its affecting my mentality and my academic studies.

For one thing I am frustated about going to Saint Mary's University in Halifax to study business. I wanted to go to the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design (NSCAD) but back in bangkok, pressure from my parents, and fear of not finding a proper job after I graduate made me to study bussines instead of visual art ( which mind you is my very life source) And that's why I'm frustarted. It hasn't been a semester here at Saint Mary's and I angry at my parents at myself and at the world cos I'm here studying something that boring and dull and not having the chance to go to NSCAD. I feel trapped studying something I hate to study for the next couple of years. I've talked to my father about this and he said that I can either drop out of SMU or finish it. This leads to my frustration against my parents.

First of my parents didn't care about me doing art, and they didn't even see how good I was at it. In other words they didn't give a rats ass about whether I spent over 70% of my free time doing art and over 90% of my time in high school "living" in the Art room. They seem uneasy about the idea of me going to Art school and I feel like shit every time I think back of how my mom (a typical asian mom who grew up with a violent father and thus has a tongue like a whip which she lashes at me.) said to me, or rathe threatened me, and my sister by saying "I don't want any of you pursuing Art or drama or theater." And I felt that my heart was crushed then and there because I depend on my parents, and I know I'll never survive without them. She would sometimes undermine me about the very notion of me wanting to do the Art. WHy why why!!!

Now my father. He equally doesn't want me to do but he's more open to the idea that my mother. What makes me frustrated is the fact that when ini Bangkok he said to me, "sure you can go to art school becuase we have enough money after you finish saint mary's" and I was full of hope. Then when we landed here in Canada my sister was talking to my dad about how she loved doing fashion and that there was a course in her university that wouuld eventually lead her to NSCAD. I was there in the corner listening to the conversation and naturally I was jelous and angry and said becuase my father said to her. "YEs DO it! I'll pay for it." and he turned to me and said, "And you Marlon I don't ever want to see you doing Art or going to that stupid Art school!"

I wanted to cry, seeing my dreams being stripped and torn. I was angry and I was sad. I didn't see why my parents say in my sister the potential to do art and they didn't see that it me. I've done art way longer than she ever did, taking IB higher Visual arts, going to art Exhibitions (mind you my father took me to thos art exhibitions himself! WTF?!!!) and then my parents give the priority to my sister.

He went to Bangkok and I started showing my frustration when I was talking to him. He was gonna visit and I wanted him to bring my Art journal I was working on for the past 2 years. He said he could, but two weeks later he said he couldn't and that's what I hate how he constantly changes his mind becuase of stupid circumstance. I hinted at him how I was mad and frustrated and he said, "okay I'll let you go for 2 years to NSCAD" I just gave him the cold silence cos I was still mad. and guess what he brought it for me when he come here.

So the deal is the conflict between me and my parents while my father is finally getting it through his thick head while my mother is still bigoted women (who cares for me way to much). I've hinted at how It was my dream but she just hints back at how she doesn't want to hear it.

But things are slowly turned around, I got a job in Saint Mary's being the Art Director for the Univesity newspaper. Of all things I found a job doing something I love even without going to Art school. And that to me says alot. I told my father and guess what he said, "I'm convinced!"

proves to him that I could do something with the arts and guess what! I was good at it to!

but still I'm just frustrated still having to do years of study in a field that is helpful for me but is the most boring.

what I'm still angry about is when will I ever get the chance. My father will let me go to NSCAD after I graduate, but will that ever happen? the future is so uncertain and there are so many circumstances stoppiing me, For one thing my mother, another thing is the money. ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/20001668/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/20001668/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 09:44:58 PDT [link]

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/19997790/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/19997790/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 02:03:39 PDT tagged me and gave me an awesome testimonial that made me feel like a jerk for not responding sooner. GAH! shoot me. anyhoo finally I'll do this quick awesome journal that will basically stroke the ego's of my friends. becuase its awesome.

Ginie! What I love about her is the fact that she doesn't hesitate to write her most deepest passions. In a sense the result characters which she fashions are the most interesting and shocking I've ever seen. LOTS OF LOVE GINIE! gud luck at Uni.

I've never meet a more awesome and more interesting artist than Shirlene. When you meet her in person you can totally tell she has that wicked artisty aura! XD and she's performed in concerts in high school and thus she's a friggin awesome guitar player! *huggles*

Gah! I miss this dude Oro his name is just awesome! it means Gold in Spanish XD that's so filipino isn't it! Anyhoo what I miss about Oro was that humble impression he gives despite the fact that his work ends up being so KICK ASS. HAVE FUN ORO where ever you are.

Fashion and Style and a great personality Alyssa rocks the stage with her awesome perfomances and wicked stylish sense. That's what I miss about her! Plus her photography is just way awesome, its funky and original and it'll make you go WOAAAaaAHHH!

She's Friggin funny! Infact the funniest I've ever met. She's this dynammic awesome character that will make one go OOOOMG!! plus she's like bilingual isn't that awesome! and don't forget to visit her site, she won like three contests in a row at :iconevo-obsessed-clud:

haha my high School buddy, what I hate about him is that he NEVER UPLOADS ANY OF HIS AWESOME WORK! WTF!! you should see his sketches, coming from an artsy family his sketches have this brawny, action figury impression that seem to crash through the page and kick you in the balls!

AHH!! I love this dev friend partly becuase her TST has so much that WOOT factor filled with action and awesome characters I bet you'll never tried living without a glimpse of her story! XD lot's a love! plus I might be able to creep in and color some of her awesome lining cos I can and I want to. XD and plus we're doing collab where she's gonna make a comic from her awesome style from my story the War of the Mask. XD

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! that's all I can say about her! XD See her Gallery and be JEALOUS!!! hehehehe.

PHotography has no limits, and KT's work shows how each shot is an awesome masterpiece! She's awesome to talk to and I can't believe she has to be on the other side of the world! I MISS YOU KT! lotza lovs.

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/19496519/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/19496519/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 08:42:16 PDT
~AA

clubs:


Friends:
:

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/18344688/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/18344688/ Thu, 15 May 2008 23:11:41 PDT

One: I'm done with my Exams and the IB
Two: I am Free!
Three: I'm going to Canada on Monday
Four: I get to be over certain people
Five: I'm going to Uni
Six: I'm actually happy about my Art style Xd
Seven: God Loves me!

Reasons why I'm sad

One: I'm leaving high School
Two: Freedom is always a delusion
Three: I'm going to Canada on Monday
Four: I'm leaving the people I love
Five: I'm going to Uni
Six: My tablet is broken
Seven: God Loves me....

clubs:


Friends:
:

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17686437/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17686437/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:30:14 PDT

Should I start some comission thingy's that other art people do here? :-P

please let me kno


oh lookie I have clubs:

clubs:


Friends:
:

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17663106/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17663106/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:20:00 PDT I'm scared, scornful and happy all at the same time

Why is that so?

Becuase I've felt things I've never felt before

I felt true love and that's what sucks the most

I've always thought myself as a child, knowing that I'll be immune to all this.

I was very wrong

All in just a short period of time God, like he promised he would do ever since I came here, he had broken down my barriers and shown me true pain, and true love. He told me that this was growing up and he told me that "easy" was never part of it.

He told me not to wait for Gotog
He told me that I should not expect to much
He told me that he would never leave me
-and he was right, he never gave in to my complaints about my pain.

To you reader this journal is very random, but its a great outlet for all this emo stuff going inside me.

PS. I'll miss you JD I really will do

(btw JD is not from JIS but from at BPS) this person will remain anonymous forever.

clubs:


Friends:
:

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17568655/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17568655/ Sat, 29 Mar 2008 06:33:17 PDT
clubs:


Friends:
:

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17191107/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17191107/ Wed, 05 Mar 2008 07:17:52 PST
clubs:


Friends:
:

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17159521/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17159521/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 05:24:32 PST
So wish me luck peeps!

~AA

clubs:


Friends:
:

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16987834/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16987834/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 04:34:21 PST
1. Being a Child and have your drawings look like crap but you're proud of it never-the-less
2. Staying up 'till 12 trying to make my art work look good and being obsessed with certain artists
3. Colouring books and trying to keep into the lines
4. A really cool art rivalry with my friends knowing that my art was crapper than their's
5. Doing fan art that sucks but feeling utterly fufilled and proud of your work.

So what's my problem?

1. Not having a muse. ( I do technically but I feel that in doubt as to whethere my art from this muse will get any attention.)
2. Not having a passion for doing Fan art ('cause the way I see it Fan art gets soo much attention compared to original works. But I have no passion nor fan art not any movies or books to be a fan off.)
3.Finding the right Pose which takes hours
4. finding the write colouring style and environment...
5. Constantly criticising and perfecting my works everytime I start on a piece. (unlike when I was small most of the time I was proud of what I drew XD)

So my solution? I don't know...... Help me T__T

clubs:


Friends:
:

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16954832/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16954832/ Mon, 18 Feb 2008 23:51:54 PST

Friends:
:

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16452391/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16452391/ Thu, 17 Jan 2008 21:05:52 PST
*jolly excitement!* this sersiouly ended my 3 week depression period and by GOd it paid off!

oh and how much is the entrace scholarship?...

*drum rolls*

2000 DOLLARS!

clubs:


Friends:


]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16427346/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16427346/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 05:38:49 PST

and I especially want to I thank these beautiful, perfect, most awesome people in the known universe and beyond:

clubs:


Friends:


]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16425917/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16425917/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 01:18:02 PST

clubs:


Friends:


]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16216444/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16216444/ Wed, 02 Jan 2008 00:01:17 PST
So I'm here in Thailand ready to start a whole new year! Let see new years resolution? uhm...

1.) Stop procrastinating! (as if I can control, the Internet is just to darn addictive!

2.) Hang out with friends and family more often

3.)Learn to play the Guitar properly

4.)Improve my artwork

5.) contact old friends especially my cousins! woot!

Happy New year folks


clubs:


Friends:


]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16173399/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16173399/ Sun, 30 Dec 2007 21:07:51 PST
I really hope things go well cos I think I've hit another depressing phases since my first one 3 years ago.

Hopefully as time goes on I would actaully think this would be stupid.

"When you're down to nothing, God is up to something"


on a sligthly less depressing tone:

clubs:


Friends:


]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16023857/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16023857/ Fri, 21 Dec 2007 04:44:19 PST AWESOME!! despite the fact that I"m sad that I've ended my period of long hair which was 6 months or more I actaully think it really looks good.


to Ginie, prepare to be shocked! well not so much..

clubs:


Friends:


]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15787475/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15787475/ Tue, 04 Dec 2007 00:43:57 PST
But anywayz! I've submitted my first piece of work for the Vexing sins contest for the Club! and I depicted the wrath of Rogue becuase she's one of the coolest characters!

check it out:
[link]

PS. IB mocks went well! I got 7's for 4 papers, which is like the highest mark in the IB ranking! YEAH ME!! *dances*

clubs:


Friends:


]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15459041/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15459041/ Sun, 11 Nov 2007 05:52:48 PST
And after that its SATs.. blech
~AA

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15429042/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15429042/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 03:14:25 PST
The biggest probs I have with artist basically colouring stuff in! I mean I was just got scolded for painting really badly the other day becuase I was too quick and too excited! I realy want to colour well, its just really difficult. grrr...

the main issues with my colouring is:

it destroys the quality of the line art. my line art kicks ass bascially (and I'm not trying to be over confidence, I'm just saying what my strengths are) its just really pissy how Art can be a bitch when something you thought would turn out right ends up sucking! I need more practice.

andI need more of tone in my colouring. And I thought it would be easier in photoshop but it feels so choppy and unprofessional argh!!!

I'm so going to spend my waking our doing this! but mock exams are comming up and I'm like ugh! shit...

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15357352/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15357352/ Sun, 04 Nov 2007 07:02:20 PST
After reading the fifth I was like SHIT! there's too more book! and it being the weekend I wouldn't want to wait 24 freakin' hours for the next too books, so I did the next best thing.. DOWNLOAD!!! (I worship you internet)

anyways monday tmrw (damn it)

~AA

]]> ~Apostate-Angel http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15236841/ http://Apostate-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15236841/ Fri, 26 Oct 2007 23:34:46 PDT
Anyways by the looks of it I don't need to be all stressed about school I mean sure with the IB mocks and internal assesment crap and the SATs coming, but that like going to happening in a million years. I have time () there might be a lesson in saying that but I'm not sure what it is....

Anyways being at this new school called Patana is soooo much better than JIS. ARGH Jis was a Hell hole! with all the students teachers and work load they give us. its Utter CRAP! I hated all my subjects *grrr ARt and grr english STandard* ironically English higher is SOOOO much easier! *thanks God* () English Standard as so stoopid I mean with all the unncessary assesments and all the stupid anotations! ugh! it was no help at all! its all messed up. (Mr. Carter! I'll haunt you when I die!)

Anyways I still miss JIS, with all the friends I had to leave behind *sniff*

]]> ~Apostate-Angel