http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Arianrhode&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Arianrhode en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 02 Dec 2009 21:14:12 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/28107799/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/28107799/ Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:23:19 PST
re
ass
em
ble

it.


you were the only exception.
but now i'm falling apart and i don't know what to do
because the ache spreads
like a ripple across a river.

every night i go through a routine of crying
and trying to make sense of thoughts
by writing rubbish poetry.

it never works,
oh why oh why do all good things seem to


disintegrate.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/27207546/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/27207546/ Mon, 14 Sep 2009 11:29:35 PDT



something's happened
and i'm not quite sure what it is.
i think people call it
time
and change.
the kind that sneaks up when you least expect it
until you realise one day that
the scene surrounding you
is unrecognisable when compared
to the act that came before.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/25988875/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/25988875/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:42:47 PDT
why am i such an idiot? i hope i haven't ruined the best thing that's happened to me for a very long time. let's welcome long, sleepless nights with open arms and cry for our stupidity.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/25875929/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/25875929/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 08:27:36 PDT i don't want to ruin them by reading them in a hurry, so i'll look at them later.


let me sit in big t-shirts and not much else, listen to the cardigans and wait for cigarettes that i shouldn't be smoking. why bother getting dressed when the only person whose opinion matters is miles and miles away across oceans and land and jungles? i don't think i'd ever get out of bed if you weren't coming back.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/25670718/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/25670718/ Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:34:08 PDT then, another two weeks after that.

and i'm feeling paranoid and sad
and worried worried worried
pleasebeok.
please get in touch soon.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/25599021/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/25599021/ Sun, 28 Jun 2009 03:10:00 PDT my stomach is sick and my vision is pools of water.
it's only a month.

waking up after
silly dreams with guilt
etched in my pores.
subconscious mind decided
that i've given you
too much.
oh darling, i
don't listen to dreams
or whismical thoughts.
i listen to real
strong, physical urges
and they scream out that;
i miss you already, and you're not even gone.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/24328618/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/24328618/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:30:35 PDT i need two poems
one to sumbit for a book
and one for a competition

the one for the book doesn't need to be my very best
they'll basically publish almost anything i send them as long as it doesn't have swearing in it
i need something good for the competition though
i would love it if you could help me out and choose your favourite from my gallery?


byy the way, one has to be up to 28 lines (200 words)
the other can only be 20 lines (160 words)
thank you lots and lots for any help.



also, i edited this: [link]

better?

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/24301102/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/24301102/ Sat, 18 Apr 2009 01:58:30 PDT one to sumbit for a book
and one for a competition

the one for the book doesn't need to be my very best
they'll basically publish almost anything i send them as long as it doesn't have swearing in it
i need something good for the competition though
i would love it if you could help me out and choose your favourite from my gallery?

i might write something a bit more
conventional
for it.
a bit
happier.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/23955741/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/23955741/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:19:32 PDT

i am living the dream. it's just not your dream; it's mine.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/22447847/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/22447847/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:08:30 PST
it's making me sad.
i'll post bits of it soon.
i've finished two sections.
her story
and his story.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/22432962/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/22432962/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:24:49 PST


IN 2008 I:

[x] stayed single
[x] got kissed
[x] kissed someone new
[x] made out
[ ] made out in a car

[ ] kissed in the snow
[ ] kissed in the rain
[ ] fell in love
[ ] fell in love with a fool
[ ] had my heart broken

[ ] broke someone else's heart
[kindaa] had a stalker
[maybe?] lost a friend
[friendship, yeh] had a good relationship with someone
[ ] questioned my sexual orientation

[ ] came out of my closet.
[ ] got pregnant
[ ] had an abortion
[ ] got married
[ ] had a divorce

[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] met someone that I will never forget
[x] did something I regret
[ ] lost my true love
[x] lost faith in love for awhile

[ ] kissed under mistletoe
[i wish] got a job
[ ] got a promotion
[ ] changed jobs
[ ] lost my job

[ ] quit my job
[ ] dated a co-worker
[ ] dated my boss
[ ] dated my boss's son/ daughter
[ ] got fired from my job

[x] got straight A's
[ ] almost got straight A's
[ ] failed a class
[x] cut class
[x] skipped school

[x] did something I was proud of
[x] proved myself an idiot
[x] embarrassed myself in front of the class
[ ] fell in love with a teacher
[x] was involved in something that I will never forget

[x] painted a picture
[x] wrote a poem
[ ] ran a mile
[x] listened to music I couldn't stand
[ ] double dipped
[ ] skinny dipped
[x] went to a sleepover
[ ] went to camp
[x] threw a surprise party
[x] laughed till I cried

[ ] laughed till I peed my pants
[x] flirted shamelessly
[x] visited a foreign country
[ ] visited a foreign state
[x] cooked a disastrous meal

[x] lost something important to me
[x] got a gift I love
[x] realized something new about myself
[ ] tried to gain weight
[ ] dyed my hair

[ ] came close to losing my life
[x] someone close to me died
[x] went to a wild party
[x] got arrested
[x] read a great book(s)
[x] saw a great movie
[ ] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[ ] saw a favorite band live
[x] did something that I want to tell everyone
[x] experienced something new

[x] made new friends
[x] found out who your real friends are
[x] lied to your parents
[ ] snuck out
[x] got in trouble with police

[ ] kissed in a pool
[x] kissed under the stars
[x] did an illegal drug
[x] went to a party
[x] had the time of your life

[x] danced
[ ] fell out of love
[x] had a crush on someone
[ ] changed your sexual preference
[x] swam in a pool

[not sure, maybe?] made a snowman
[ ] went snowboarding
[again, can't remember] went sledding
[x] slept in past 2pm
[x] held someones hand

[blah, kind of] held someones hand that you care about
[ ] told someone you like them as more than a friend
[x] gone on vacation
[ ] gone on vacation with a friend
[ ] driven a car

[ ] played strip poker
[x] danced in the rain
[x] seen someone get in a car accident
[ ] got in a fist fight
[x] laughed until you couldn't breathe

[bits of it] had an amazing year
[x] missed someone
[ ] got hit by car
[ ] sent someone to the hospital
[x] got a new pet
[blah, parts of it] enjoyed this year overall



Finished my gcse art mock today
I think it went ok
At the end of this year I'll take some pictures of all my art in the gallery they put up at school
Hopefully it'll look half decent.. :/
Want it to be good cos I want to do it at A level and not regret it ahahh.


enddd.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/21422546/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/21422546/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:23:19 PST and soothing and not angry and not shaking shaking shaking.

until your neck hurts and your hand is sore
and you just need to sleep now
and anger bubble rises in your throat
but you swallow it swallow it
and everything's fine and fine and fine again
except not.

because you have a tiger in your belly and he won't be left alone.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/20439665/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/20439665/ Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:02:20 PDT
now only my bessst things (or the ones i couldn't bare to un-feature) from the last 3 or 4 years are there
which makes me feel more organised


i also deleted lots and lots of journals
yaaaaay
(y)

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/20407697/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/20407697/ Tue, 09 Sep 2008 14:09:59 PDT swallowing your heartbeat
and keeping it all in in in




who cares if it makes me sick?




]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/19420897/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/19420897/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 02:40:28 PDT i don't think i deserve that pride and that acceptance
and so i do things that will disappoint and anger them
a lot of the time they don't find out
but i feel better because i know i definately don't deserve their praise
and now they might find out about things
and i hate myself because it will upset them so so much.


that will be my fault.


i hate this.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/17497156/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/17497156/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:33:17 PDT like, really good at it
so that people knew me and respected and admired me.




and i wish i was a people person
and i could be nice to people
although the sight of them makes me sick.



i wish i could let go.

]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/9791482/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/9791482/ Sun, 20 Aug 2006 10:12:55 PDT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT.
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

what other four letter words do i know?

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT.
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT.
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT TWAT.
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

[if you hadn't realised, i dont feel too good right now.] ]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/9480194/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/9480194/ Mon, 24 Jul 2006 14:52:32 PDT only way to get through something,
Is to face your fears,
When all you really want to do is,
Run away and hide.

But sometimes I'm not sure if I can be that strong.
Sometimes I'm not sure if I can make myself blind to fear.
Blind to the fact i'm not super-girl.
Blind to the fact i'm not as strong as they think.

Put on a brave face to the world.
Told them all "Never again, I promise,"
When everyday I wonder if today will be the day.
The day I'll give in to impluse.

And now this.
Memories and shit.
I can't do it.
But I said I can.
I know I can't.
They think I will.
But I know a million things can happen.
In two and a half weeks.
They trust me.
I don't trust me.
I know I lie.
They think I tell the truth.
They think they know me.
I know they don't.
Because even I don't.







Wednesday.
Can't.
Come.
Slow.
Enough.





On a happier note.
Got my digital camera.
It's a crap one, Kodak EasyShare C350, but it's MINE.
I can do what I like with it.
Yay!

Love and such
<3 ]]> ~Arianrhode http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/6519167/ http://Arianrhode.deviantart.com/journal/6519167/ Fri, 16 Sep 2005 09:54:03 PDT Just relax.

Things turn bad when you say they're bad,
The wind is only cold when you think it is,
The world crashes down when you stop holding it up,
When you tense up everything goes wrong.

Pretend you are part of the beach,
Where the waves lap up against the sand,
You aren't the grains that gets washed away,
You're the rocks that are there to stay.

So just relax.

I'm so glad I have my brain, it works out all the complicated stuff so I don't have to. I'll just let everything wash over me, it's not important unless I make it important. ]]> ~Arianrhode