http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Aurion-Tenosai&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Aurion-Tenosai en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 27 Nov 2009 09:35:12 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26945424/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26945424/ Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:12:31 PDT
UPDATE: Aaah screw the discordians and teh freakin illuminati... I suppose if it's a SECRET society then it must be bad eh? If you can't publicize your rebellion against something that could be the downfall of humanity then you're just as bad as the ones keeping quiet eh? KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT CHANGES NOTHING, OPENING YOUR MOUTH IS THE ONLY WAY TO FIGHT BACK. YOU FIGHT WITH A GUN, THE JOKES ON YOU. Seriously... quiet people, who know everything in the world that could decide a life or death case seriously tick me off. Anyway, Discordians, Discordianism is the belief that God is a sexy woman... SCREW THAT... might as well make up my own PUBLIC society or something that exposes all this satanic crap around this worthless rock we call Earth... Stupid Adam.. Stupid Eve... Stupid curiosity of man...

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26883276/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26883276/ Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:58:18 PDT
A special thanks to Keiyodoshi, shusuke and Maranda for researching this yourself and not just blindly listening to me because that wouldn't do anything for you.

Another special thanks is to Nicole who's eyes are beautiful and silent consent gives me hope.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26700591/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26700591/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:00:46 PDT
Good night all...

Haha, relevant or not, this is directed at mainly one person. Old friend, and old enemy alike.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26320104/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26320104/ Sat, 01 Aug 2009 14:46:14 PDT
Well done Obama. I know not the story behind this rumor, but I'm not saying whether it's true or not... either way... I don't trust the U.S. government.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26083458/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26083458/ Tue, 21 Jul 2009 09:38:59 PDT
Hm... that should tell ya something.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26083444/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/26083444/ Tue, 21 Jul 2009 09:38:23 PDT
]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/25664095/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/25664095/ Wed, 01 Jul 2009 01:16:52 PDT - energy czar Carol Browner,
- urban czar Adolfo Carrion, Jr.,
- infotech czar Vivek Kundra,
- faith-based czar Joshua DuBois,
- health reform czar Nancy-Ann DeParle,
- new TARP czar Herb Allison,
- stimulus accountability czar Earl Devaney,
- non-proliferation czar Gary Samore,
- terrorism czar John Brennan,
- regulatory czar Cass Sunstein,
- drug czar Gil Kerlikowske, and
- Guantanamo closure czar Daniel Fried. We also have a host of special envoys that fall into the czar category including
- AfPak special envoy Richard Holbrooke,
- Mideast peace envoy George Mitchell,
- special advisor for the Persian Gulf and Southwest Asia Dennis Ross,
- Sudan special envoy J. Scott Gration and
- climate special envoy Todd Stern.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/25473514/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/25473514/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 12:27:10 PDT [link]

Rihanna’s “Disturbia” is a catchy pop song getting played on the radio, TV and by DJs around the world. Do people realize that this song is about being possessed by Evil? Why are those messages being hammered into the minds of young people? This is an analysis of the song’s lyrics and visuals.

Note: This article is the second part of Occult and Prophetic Messages in Rihanna’s Umbrella. I suggest you read this article first to fully understand this one.

As discussed in the previous article, Rihanna’s Umbrella is about becoming possessed by Evil. It was a back-and-forth conversation between Rihanna and an Evil Entity (we will call it Devil), who promised her success and riches in exchange of her soul. During the song, Rihanna accepts the Devil’s proposition and effectively becomes possessed. This was portrayed through the lyrics of the song and the imagery of the video.

“Disturbia” is the follow-up of “Umbrella” and describes Rihanna’s state of mind as a possessed individual. While possessed, the victims cannot think for themselves – thoughts are given by the possessor and the possessed behave according to the thoughts given. The lyrics and the video convey that message in a very direct and blatant matter, without the subtleties and symbols of “Umbrella”. While Umbrella seemed to be, at face value, a song about love and friendship, the song actually described the manner in which Evil seduces weak spirits with promises of material success. ”Disturbia” is about the mental torment of possessed individuals . First off, let’s watch the video.



Intro
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
What’s wrong with me?
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Why do I feel like this?
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
I’m going crazy now

In the intro, Rihanna wonders what’s happening. “What’s wrong with me” and “I’m going crazy now” allude to the fact her mind isn’t functioning properly, as if it was taken over by an unknown force.

While she asks herself those questions, we hear a repetitive chant that goes “Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum”. This is basically a spell aimed to mesmerize and hypnotize the subject, a practice reminiscent of ritualistic magic. If you know about ancient practices of Black Magic, those spells where used to opens the listener’s mind, placing him/her in a highly suggestive state. So, in the context of the song the Evil Entity is playing with Rihanna’s head, mesmerizing her to open the gateway to possession.

But what does it mean? “Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum” is in fact a curse and an insult to the listener followed by a suggestion.

What’s a bum? It’s either

1. A tramp; a vagrant.
2. A lazy or shiftless person, especially one who seeks to live solely by the support of others.
3. An incompetent, insignificant, or obnoxious person
4. Buttocks
So either way you interpret it, the word “bum” isn’t flattering. This word is followed by “be dum“. Phonetically, “be dum” sounds like “be dumb”. So the listener unconsciously hears “Bum, Bum, be dumb” which means “You good-for-nothing, idiotic person, let yourself become dumb, stop thinking and let yourself be hypnotized and possessed”. To which Rihanna answers “I’m going crazy now”.
First Verse
No more gas in the rig, can’t even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said, can’t even speak about it
All my life, on my head, don’t wanna think about it
Feels like I’m going insane, yeah

“No more gas in the rig”
A rig means a car, a vessel, a means of transportation. Rihanna’s rig is her body. She’s no longer in control of her body because evil has rendered her powerless. Because of this her rig is “out of gas”, it cannot move by its own means anymore.

“Nothing heard, nothing said, can’t even speak about it”
She can’t hear or say anything by her own means because she is disconnected from the outside world. She can’t speak about it because she has agreed to keep her deal with Evil secret. Even if she wanted to break that secrecy, she couldn’t because she is no longer in control of her thoughts.

“All my life, on my head, don’t wanna think about it, Feels like I’m going insane, yeah”
Since she has been possessed, Rihanna’s life has been so unbearable that she doesn’t even want to think about it. She feels like she is losing her mental sanity.

It’s a thief in the night to come and grab you
It can creep up inside you and consume you
A disease of the mind it can control you
It’s too close for comfort

Those lines are very revealing and explain the true nature of Rihanna’s... ]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/25470284/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/25470284/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 09:42:54 PDT [link]

What is Rihanna’s Umbrella song about? First times I’ve heard this song, I was confused. Is it about a woman’s unconditional friendship for her man? Is it a “sexy song”? At face value, it seems so. However, if you listen closely to Rihanna and Jay-Z’s words, you might notice that the lyrics do not make any sense. The vocabulary used in this song is not about a relationship between two lovers. The fact is, Umbrella is about a subject matter that is sinister, dark and disturbing: becoming possessed by evil.


What does “under my umbrella” mean?

In a nutshell, the song talks about a storm that’s about to take place and Rihanna offers her loved one protection under her umbrella. In this song, “You can stand under my umbrella” can have a sexual connotation but it mostly means “You can be under my protection”. When you are under something’s protection, this something has more power than you regarding your own security. You depend on it. It has control over you. IT possesses you. The song is not about love between woman and man, it’s about being protected. It is not an equal relationship. The one that protects basically owns the person that is protected.

Analyzing the song

The first thing that you need to know about the song’s lyrics is that Rihanna sings the whole song but she actually takes on two roles. During the first half of the song, she plays the role of an evil entity that is trying to seduce and possess Rihanna. For the purpose of this analysis we’ll call this entity the Devil. The second role she plays is herself. So the song is basically a dialog between the Devil and Rihanna. The video of the song makes this very clear and we’ll explain how later.



What is possession?

Possession, in relationship to non-human entities deals with the phenomena wherein a non-human entity controls the human being through various methods. In possession, the human being cannot think for themselves. Instead, their thoughts are given to them by their possessor. We’ll see how the Devil tries and succeeds at possessing Rihanna in this song. There is a reason why the album is called “Good Girl Gone Bad”.

Jay-Z’s prophetic verse

So the song starts off with a verse of rapper Jay-Z. He plays the role of someone that has already been possessed and already “under the umbrella” of the Devil. Here’s his verse:

No clouds in my stones
Let it rain, I hydroplane in the bank
Coming down with the Dow Jones
When the clouds come we gone, we Rocafella
We fly higher than weather
And G5’s are better, You know me,
an anticipation, for precipitation. Stacked chips for the rainy day
Jay, Rain Man is back with little Ms. Sunshine
Rihanna where you at?

Explanation


“No clouds in my stones
Let it rain, I hydroplane in the bank
Coming down with the Dow Jones”

So the “storm” is in fact related to the economy and the financial world. “Coming down with the Dow Jones” reflects this situation. The Dow Jones is the main indicator of the health of the stock market. If it plummets, we can talk about a market crash. This reference is pretty eerie as it effectively predicts the crash of the stock markets that is taking place now, which is two years after the release of the song. We all know that, since September of this year (2008), the Dow Jones has experienced its biggest drops since the great depression. Here’s a random quote from today’s news (December 11th):

Stocks on Wall Street fell sharply on Thursday afternoon, with the Dow Jones industrials sliding 200 points, as investors weighed a lower sales outlook and a widening trade gap that could spell trouble for American businesses.

The fact that this song was made in 2006, two full years before even having signs of recession is strange. You’ll notice that the whole song has a pessimistic outlook concerning the future. Jay-Z is saying “Let it rain”, he doesn’t care about the financial crisis, he “hydroplanes in the bank”. In other words, while the bank is being flooded by this storm and people are drowning in it, he’s above the water and surviving the crisis.

When the clouds come we gone, we Rocafella

In other words, when the financial crisis will occur, we won’t be here to suffer through it. “Rocafella” is the name of Jay-Z’s record label. It also refers to John D. Rockefeller and his family, the biggest industrialists in American History and huge actors in the formation of the social-economic world we’re currently living in. Many historians claim the Rockerfellers have engineered the crash of 1929 to be able to obtain a stronghold on America’s banking system. Congressman Charles A. Lindberg Sr.... ]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/24831321/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/24831321/ Mon, 18 May 2009 22:00:28 PDT [Full Name:] Luneth V. Swann
[Age:] 17
[Gender:] Male
[Race:] Human

Appearance
[Height:] 5'6"
Weight:] 124 lbs
[Hair Style:] The front usually parts to one side and the back is almost always in a ponytail
Hair Color:] White
[Eye Color:] Black
[Overall Description:] Mainly laid back and almost always quiet. His cold demeanor usually makes people assume that he hates them when he is actually good at heart. Luneth would never abandon a person in need and would do any work at any time for any price.

Background
[History:] His parents both died of an illness as 10 so he has become a mercenary of some sort to make money.
[Hometown:] Eternia City
[Clan:] None

Personality
[Theme Song: "Leave out all the rest"
[Personality:] Very kind hearted but doesn't show it to others. Very quiet and very hardworking.
[Alignment:] Good. But once again, it never seems like it.

[Likes]
Likes being around people but doesn't talk to them. He feels safer around nature or animals. He doesn't really like to eat anything other than fruits.
[Dis-likes:] Meat, dead animals, pushy and picky people.
*Above*

[Fear(s):] Being alone

Strengths
Analytical things and quick attack. He's able to figure things out faster than most people
Weaknesses
He likes people but his weakness is seeing them hurt same for animals. Also, teasing him with fruits.

Extra
[Occupation:] Mercenary.

[Battle Theme] "From the Inside"
[Weapon of Choice:] Swords. His favorites are rapiers or broadswords

[Pet:]
Name: Ark (Arcenia)
Species: Bird
Appearance: A hawk with a navy blue tint
Other: Ark is always on Luneth's shoulder or hovering over him. Ark will only respond to Luneth or anyone else Luneth is close to or has feelings for.

[Quotes:] "You'll never get any mercy from me as long as the price is right."-"There's too much to do, and no time to do it."-"You give me a price, I give you my assistance."-"Pitiful"

Abilities:
He's able to sleep anywhere and make a living for himself with the help of others. He won't show any emotion even under tons of pressure. And is able to run fast(not at sonic speed, just...fast XD)


Inventory:
Longsword, a handmade shield of leather, and a pouch full of money.

______________________________________________
RP Sample:
(I'll just make one up off the top of my head)
Luneth was walking in a plain near Eternia city when Pakki, his loyal hawk of a rare tint, began to peck at his cheek.
"What is it? You hungry?" He said in his monotonic voice to the bird as it responded as though it could understand him. "Seriously, I just fed you thirty minutes ago." Luneth said going in his pocket and taking out a vine wrapped with berries. The hawk screeched with joy and pecked happily at them.
"Hey! Hey! Not so fast! You're gonna make me drop them!" Luneth said laughing. The hawk suddenly stopped eating and turned his head in the opposite direction of his friend/master.
"So... you hear it too?" Luneth said in reply to the hawk's awkward action. "Yeah. It's getting closer." He said drawing his sword from it's sheath and pointed it in the direction the bird was looking. "Come on out! There's no use in trying to hide from my eyes and ears!" He yelled as a lobo about the height up to his knees came out growling at him.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/24767419/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/24767419/ Fri, 15 May 2009 09:44:44 PDT
]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/24286832/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/24286832/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 07:34:07 PDT
]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/24015407/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/24015407/ Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:40:27 PDT You are a person that loves the water. Your personality is constantly changing. It is a challenge to make friends. You are willing to take ur fear head on. You help people understand what u are feeling.

Outsider
You feel stuck on the outside, no matter what you try.
Nobody understands you. You have a vision and a dream, but you feel cut off from the world. Everyone around you seems to be part of one entity and the opinion of every one person seems to be the opinion that everyone else has about you, it's all good or all bad.

Earth
You stand firm in what you believe. Once you have made your mind up on something you won't back down. People see you as stubborn and it is hard for you to adapt when the world changes.

Clairessence
Smell is your sixth sense. Also called clairessence (clear essence), you are a person who's very in tune with scent, from perfumes to flowers to toxic fumes.
A person gifted with clairessence will often smell certain aromas even when the source cannot be found. Or you will associate certain people with certain scents. For example, if you are easily annoyed by a certain someone (ahem, younger sib?) you may pick up an unpleasant odor when he/she is around. Now, this might be due to some stinky laundry, but often it's something that's intuitive and only you can experience.
Some even say that a clairessence will smell roses when a person has died or recovered from a bad illness. Hmm...

September
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

Red
The more excitement they experience the more alive they will feel. Reds are practical, action-oriented, love to achieve results and be successful. They have an insatiable urge to win and create something valuable and important in their life. Their strong will power and intense, almost unlimited physical energy allows them to be extremely active, persistent and successful in virtually anything they do.

You have a nice, cool, laid back personality
You are the kind of person who is loving and cares just about life, friends, family and others that are important. You are very polite and always in a calm mood. Displaying love and effection, you show others a soft smile whenever or wherever as long as their happy and satisfied... Don't forget that even though you may care for others more than yourself, keep in touch with your inner self and remember, you came first in your life so come to your needs as much as others. Your important to yourself and thats all that truly matters.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23900313/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23900313/ Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:41:09 PDT
In other news... Y'know, there are a lot of liars and fake people in the world. And it always seems as though they're your friends. -.- Meh, can't trust much of anyone and when you think you've helped, you haven't done a thing or at least you have but they don't follow up on it.

I've also dropped quite a few friends becase they refuse to listen to what's right. I would put up a list, but you should already know who you are.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23755261/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23755261/ Tue, 17 Mar 2009 21:38:06 PDT "HERE I COME!"

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?
My art desk...

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
George Lopez
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
11:30

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
11:29

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Refrigerator running (better go catch it! Hahaha.. that was corny)

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
About 2 hours ago. Calming down because family is stupid.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
A picture of Kana on my facebook.

9. What are you wearing?
A blue shirt, blue jeans, a necklace, socks, underpants... Wristbands.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yes.

11. When did you last laugh?
A few minutes ago.

12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?
Pictures of different animals (Lions, koalas, etc)

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Hm... everything is weird lately

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Boring than most...

15. What is the last film you saw?
Hm... Unleashed? I don't remember

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
My own island that no one may come onto...

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know about.
Uh... I could care less what happens to this world? I'm careless? I dunno..

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
"Everyone to shut the hell up about rights."

19. Do you like to dance?
Yeah, when I'm hyper

20. George Bush:
*pulls out AK-47 and begins shooting wildly in his direction*

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Luna, Dawn, uh... Maybe, Leona? I dunno. Something sweet sounding.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Tobias, Leon, or Bob XD

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes. I've already decided to.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Welcome to VEGAS!" no really... "You've done well my son"

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23651308/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23651308/ Wed, 11 Mar 2009 20:51:55 PDT
So! After sleeping all day yesterday and thinking about it from 12:31am to 4:27am , I've decided to just let that special someone find me... The only thing is though, I will know exactly who it is when they get here. A little bit of foresight if you will... I have an image of how they'll look from the foresight (which I should be able to post tomorrow) and what's weird, I have a time, but no date from the foresight when I'm supposed to meet the person. And the place I'll meet them was vague...

Oh well. Waiting will be fun. I have a clear sound in my head of how they'll sound and the question that'll be asked when I meet them.

Haha, you may say "Foresight... how stupid" but hey, my foresight has never been wrong in the past, and if you know me personally, then you'd know that for a fact.

Heh... now I'm waiting... Might as well have fun while doing it!... Who wants to go see a movie? XD

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23634847/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23634847/ Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:15:30 PDT
People I really want to hear from:












]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23441201/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23441201/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:31:21 PST
As I said... my mind is darker... I've already had at least 20 visions of me strangling classmates and others to death. Hm, it's amazing how it doesn't happen when I'm alone. There's always this one effin person who always freaking waits for me when I'm going to class then he walks with me and talks to me... It's annoying... There's another that when I go into the school library, they're there waiting for me... it pisses me off... I don't need a effing shadow. The only person that I can tolerate that calls me everyday to check up on me is AKA Katie-san. So, thanks for that Katie...

But what has happened to solitude and the quiet that I like? Then when I tell them to leave me alone, I suddenly become a bitch and an enemy... Well so be it. I'm a bitch and your enemy because I'm tired of your shit that you have to spew every 20 minutes. Yeah, it's nice to be checked up on every once in a while... but every time my facial expression changes you don't have to ask "Hey, you all right?" Well damn, I was until you cut in with your... dammit... your caring...

I care too much about people... and I hate it when they care about me because quite frankly, I'm just not used to it. I'm not used to someone saying "I love you" or "How are you doing today"... Maybe that's an answer to why I'm seen as a brother.

And please... if you comment, don't comment with crap like "Hey, get better, keep your chin up" because I really don't want to hear it. I would love for someone to comment and just start cussing me out though that would be the best.... And for those who don't know, that's sarcasm.

You know what... from now on; Keep all of your petty compliments and everything else to yourself... Your insults... keep em to yourself or just don't talk to me at all... Your petty encouraging words, keep them in your mind only. If you really want to show me your care, don't just say it then never come back and see how I'm doing because it makes you look really really fake... Out of about 50 friends I have, only 3 I can say actually show they care. Whether they're annoying while doing it or not. The rest are those one time only fakes. You say, "Don't get so down ok? Make sure you stay happy" and then what happens? I don't hear from you until a month later and then it's about a damn problem you have.

I don't care if you comment, and I don't care what you have to say. I don't want to hear today "Get better" and then tomorrow you're coming to me with a problem. If you're going to say, "I love you Joe" then act like it... because words are just sounds that have no meaning to me what so ever. I really wish I was deaf because all I ever hear today is shit.

Edit: It's gonna be interesting to see who comments and who doesn't haha.... but I know who will and who won't so it's not all that exciting... more predictable than anything else. Heh, there's one who's already read this and she's not commenting, then there's another who read it and he just called and left a voicemail... Heh.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23440524/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23440524/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 20:24:20 PST It looks as though I could never be someone's lover, because in the end, I'm just another brother.

This won't exactly be a real entry... just words that flow through my mind until it's blank...

Brother, lover, sister, family, hatred, love, never again, one time only,
Repent,staying in one place, different, fast, slow, break away, castaway,
Out,persistance, juni, people, women, idiots, dawn, months, days, years, time,
Tell, like, mother, father, siblings, travel, long distance, local, god,
Help,religion, seperate ways, discussions, arguments, science, jesus,
Excluded, carried away, anti-social, anger, spite, ungrateful, mentality,
Revelation, unwilling, stubborn, lies, together, suicide, sandangheyo.

Look at every letter on the left side of the paragraph, the ones that are capital.... put them together and tell me what they spell.... I swear, it was unintentional. (The only thing I did was make the letters capital.)

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23430627/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23430627/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 10:03:15 PST My name is Joe, and I'm 15 in the 9th grade. I am mixed with black,white and indian and I am currently on the A-B honor roll and in my second semester of school preparing to go to the 10th grade.
I'm more interested in anything else than I am in school, or any other academic classes. Tennis, Go(a board game) and any other thing that challenges my mental or physical abilities are my passion. I intend to be a photographer, artist, game designer, movie director and actor, all before I die. But more importantly, I intend to travel the world with whatever family I have(meaning wife and kids) when I have more than enough income.
I would say that I am very calm and cool almost 78 percent of the time and the rest I am very playful and clueless. I would also say that I know when to be serious and know when to play around. My friends would say that I am two-sided, meaning I can act my age when not around anyone or doing something serious, but when I get hyper I have the mind of a 10 year old. I would post what my enemies say, but what does it matter? I'm in life for myself.
In a friendship I would say that I am very loyal to those that I love and trust and would be willing to do anything whether we are in an argument or not. If I hear someone downing my friends I would stand up for them. I don't know how to define myself in a relationship. I would say that my real emotions show for that person and it varies. In an argument, I stand strong and won't back down unless I'm satisfied with the answer, which makes me very stubborn.
I'm always very reluctant to give up on anything and I usually don't ever give up on anyone or anything. Even now, friends that have become my enemies I may want back as an aquaintice or something. Unless I really dislike them.
If I say I like you then most likely it is the truth. If I say I don't like you then that is 100 percent truth unless I'm not serious. I don't dislike anyone that much unless they are just totally obnoxious and don't know when to quit.
I believe in quitting while you're ahead, which may seem contradictory when I did say I don't like giving up, but when you're winning, why not stay ahead? If an argument continues to go on, and you know you're in the lead, why keep it going and give the opponent more to work with?
My favorite things to do are draw, play tennis(mostly in doubles... Singles are lonely), talk to my friends long distance and local, and debating. Other favorite things I can't think of at the moment...
I usually come off mean, or as a complete douchebag, but the truth is I am just really straightforward. If you're pissing me off, I'll tell you, or if I'm annoyed by you I'll tell you. This also makes me come off as 'fast' in relationships because I'm so straightforward and usually say how I feel.
I'm considered different as most of you have heard or even said and I have yet to find out the reason as to how I am, but even still I am content with that because I'm not seen as a whore, slut, thug etc.
I'm not particularly close to my relatives at all because I feel as though I don't belong with them. I don't considered myself raised by my parents but mostly raised up from my friend's parents or books I've read.
I am usually considered the leader in my group of friends and I've begun to understand why recently although I still question it.

My favorite quotes are, "Nothing ventured nothing gained", "A foolish man talks but a wise man speaks" and for the sake of typing, one more, "One who looks down cannot see where he is going, one who looks toward the sky is one who knows his future."

Anything else I need to add tell me.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23407521/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23407521/ Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:10:47 PST If you love someone you will stay by their side,
If you love someone you will always be down to ride,
If you love someone you would trust them and give them your all,
If you love someone you will help them not watch them as they fall,
If you love someone you would tell them the truth and never lie,
If you love someone you will always do for them and never ask why,
If you love someone you would help them in there time of need,
If you love someone you would do anything to help them succeed,
If you love someone you will go the extra mile,
If you love someone you would go that extra mile knowing that each step was worthwhile,
If you love someone with your soul and heart you would do nothing to see ya’ll apart,
When you love someone you will always be there even when it hurts,
When you love someone you would never treat them like dirt,
When you love someone it’s more than affection,
When you love someone you will never watch them go down the wrong path, but yet show them the right direction,
When you love someone it’s how they make you feel inside and their great personality,
When you are in love you don’t want to sleep because no dream is better than reality.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23261081/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23261081/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 20:05:06 PST
So I was wondering... Am I seen that way to you guys/girls also? O.O Haha, do tell me how. I mean, I feel I'm different, but I seriously have no idea how either. It's like I'm some superhuman!!

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23240138/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23240138/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 17:10:40 PST

Anywho... Got into this... Argument? With (Yeah, I posted your icon and username, so what?) and they pretty much tried to 'tell me about myself' and then proceeded to predict my future and how I'll turn out.

So, telling me about myself... She said I was stuck-up, two-faced, and that I was just flat out annoying. Then she said that she's not the only one who thinks so-DUH- and then gave me the names of people in which, only one of them made sense. The other two I talked to and they said they never said that and that she was lying. (Take THAT Sayuri) Plus, they said they don't see me as two-faced or stuck up. Just because I know when to be serious and when to have fun does NOT make me two-faced. And I don't know where the hell you got Stuck up from.

Second... She tried to predict my future. She said that I will eventually lose everything. My friends etc... She also said I was dwindling on friends meaning I didn't have many and I'm losing them fast. Well you know what? I have plenty of friends to make up for lost ones, OH, and just to rub it in your face, out of the 6 I said I lost 4 came back, so what now? Plus, whether you count online friends as REAL LIFE FRIENDS or not doesn't matter to me whatsoever. Online friends ARE pretty much real life friends. If you need explaining then comment, because it's sorta silly to say 'computer friends don't count'. Anyway, back to what I was saying- She said that I'd lose all my friends because my personality is so bad and eventually they'll get tired of it as she did and they'll leave me. Well, everyone is not like you, now are they? My personality is pretty straightfoward, either you like me or you don't, that simple.

Also, I'm pretty sure you'll see this because so far you've been prying into my life just to find out every little detail so you can use things against me as you did Saturday night. Yes, I know what you and the other two talked about because one of them told me, they also said you keep asking about things pertaining to my own personal issues. Looks like I'm not the only one who has to hide behind a computer screen, now am I? Anyway, you asked me for an example of you being two-faced and you never gave me time to answer so here it is, seeing as though I have plenty of time; 1) Whenever we're at school and you're around our(yes OUR) friends, you act all jolly and you talk to me and I talk back. Then over the computer you act like a total BITCH(Yes I said it) and you try doing what you did Yesterday morning at 1:00 A.m. Guess what. Now, three of your 'friends' know how you act when they aren't around and guess what, now they don't know how to see you because to them, you ARE TWO-FACED. You also said that alot of people see me that way... Allow me to prove you wrong... Any other who reads this, answer this question please... Am I stuck up, two-faced and am I in particular just flat out annoying? Answer truthfully please.

Thank you very much, and yes, I typed it on the computer because it would be alot to say in real life, and this way, YOU CAN'T INTERRUPT ME. Have a nice day Sayuri Kuriyashi... And next time, come with real facts and truths, not just made up ones. It pisses me and your friends, as well as mine, off. Thank you.

Now isn't revenge and the truth so bittersweet?

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23199967/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23199967/ Sat, 14 Feb 2009 16:18:45 PST
Haha! No one in my family is going out anywhere and tonight I may be going to the movies with Chynna if the party she went to ends early enough. Heh, I'm pretty psyched, I'm smiling as I'm typing this which I usually never do! Now the problem is what do we go see? Haha...

VICTORY IS MINE!!!

Score:

Me: 9

Her(not Chynna): 5 guys 1 girl (6 total)

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23181078/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23181078/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:57:50 PST
Now here's the dare. You must put this in your journal. See what other people will ask you."

I think I already know what some of you are going to ask me but anyway... go ahead:

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23171379/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23171379/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 09:53:30 PST
1. How come whether I'm in a friendship, or a relationship I eventually usually come out being seen as a brother? Maybe I want a FRIEND hmm?

2. How come whenever I post my ideas someone has to come along and bitch, but when they post theirs I can't go and post my opinions without being called a homophobe?

3. Why is it that whenever I plan to stick to something, such as beliefs, some REAL homophobe has to come and put it down?

(There are more questions... The school bell just rung though))

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23109300/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23109300/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 18:40:48 PST
The record I've set for myself is losing 6 friends in one day ^^ That leaves me with only 6 trustworthy friends none of the 6 lost being one of them. So it's not that big of a loss...

In other news another record was set! I made 7 new friends at the acting convention thing I went to over this past weekend so it is as an old friend said; "Whenever you lose something, it always comes back multiplied." Heh... I'm starting to see what she meant... Too bad she was one of the ones that left.

Hmm... World records set... Seems like everything good is happening after everything bad does... At the acting convention, some woman saw my art and gave me 20 bucks to "continue pursuing my dream". So that was pretty cool... Another older man gave me 10 bucks for the same reason. So my notoriety is being increased... Peh... I wonder if I deserve this treatment?

I may as well live it up?...

Whenever you lose something.... it always comes back multiplied.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23092098/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23092098/ Sun, 08 Feb 2009 21:19:45 PST Or don't talk to me at all,
Tell me what is on your mind
please don't make me crawl

Chasing friends or chasing lovers,
Each is like the rest;
You turn your back for two whole days
And a knife is through your chest.

These liars and these backstabbers,
We always try to avoid,
But then we look around and see
that we're the one who toyed.

We think we're sly, we think we're slick
when we go and lie,
But there's always this one person,
Who'd rather see you die.

You think of all these people,
Who you'd love to see,
Then when you meet them,
It's not what it's meant to be.

You're thinking they're hot,
You're thinking they're fine,
You're thinking that they love you,
You think all of these wonderful thoughts,
And then they go and use you.

Fantasizing in our mind,
Can lead to hopes and dreams,
But when a lie marches on in,
It tears at the seams.

We think we know what each other's thinking,
But we haven't got a clue,
You really know what's on their mind?
I bet it is "Fuck you"

~Tobias

I would rather hear a truth than a lie... A truth allows you to move on in life... A lie hinders you... Which would you prefer? To be stuck in the past in stupidity and naivety, or to move with the future with tears that will dry?

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23011941/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23011941/ Wed, 04 Feb 2009 22:21:13 PST
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that i've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what i made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that i've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting / all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting / all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are
_____________________________________________________________________________

Promise me my friends in RL and online... Don't forget me even when I die. Try to remember the good things I've done despite the bad... Although, the bad may outweigh the good.

When my time comes, don't remember the bad things about me... I want to be missed...not thrown away like a piece of paper... So, keep my memory alive, no matter how old or young.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23011273/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/23011273/ Wed, 04 Feb 2009 20:59:10 PST

Wonder what I'm gonna do for this Valentines... I was gonna ask Juni-chan if we could do a collab pic on paintchat for V-day lol, but it'd be hard to set up a time... If you want to try it hun let me know.

Ahh... Most of my friends are either getting turned down by their admirees (if that's a word), most are breaking up with their boyfriend or girlfriend, and the others just don't care... *sigh*

This is a little message I made for my friends who are doing this crap.. *clears throat* FIND SOMEONE ALREADY! Stop playing games! If you really like/love the person and you really want to be with them then don't just take a back seat when you KNOW something's up in your relationship! I mean, if you know he or she is cheating or two-timing, don't just sit there and say it's a phase! Seriously, asking questions in a relationship isn't a bad thing at all! Some questions may make you seem like an ass, but others can save the relationship! I know from experience! So anyway, if you think you made the other mad or you believe their mad over something, don't just sit there and say well he or she will get over it, ASK ABOUT IT! It let's the person know you care and that you're still there for them! Now, don't ask are they all right, hear the problem, and then just leave them to fend for themselves. HELP THEM. That is how really close relationships stay close! And if it isn't close, it helps it! MEN! Be persistant! Check up on your girlfriend/wife! WOMEN! Be there for your boyfriend/husband! C'mon! I'm tired of seeing relationships broken over stupid stuff!
Ladies! I know we guys can be asses sometimes and act as though we don't care, but we do! Well... some of us... I do! Lol, some of us even want you ladies there when you think we don't Dudes! If you SEE that your lady is feeling pretty down, don't just give her that, "I pity you" look! Give her a hug! Kiss her cheek! Call her! Do SOMETHING that will comfort her. Hahah, my love may have been long distance but it was more real than some of the relationships I've seen down here... Go out on a limb, if it worked for me it'll work for you!

All right that's teh end of my rant... Have a happy V-day everyone!

Love ties a strong bond between people, but only a special love may be shared of those who are truly committed. The trust that the two have, the love they share... May it prosper and may no one break it.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22992653/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22992653/ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 20:51:23 PST
That makes me wonder though... People, who are considered angels or psychics, whatever... People who are considered to have supernatural powers (put it that way), are usually considered as monsters to most. If not monsters then inhuman.

The question popped in my head while thinking about this, "Do even 'monsters' or 'angels' want to be human sometimes?" If you think about it, people who are usually considered outcasts usually try to find a way to someone's heart so that person can see their viewpoint on things and accept them.

Short journal entry I know because I forgot my main point... but anyway I end with two things... "Even a monster wants to be loved by someone or something."

And.... My 'famous' quote time...

A confused heart may eventually become at peace. An angel may never lose it's wings and a human may never gain any... But regardless of the natural or supernatural, every living thing wishes to be loved...

Love is, the light of life and the way unto every heart.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22955389/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22955389/ Mon, 02 Feb 2009 00:34:05 PST
We find friends... aside from our family, who are reading totally different books... all of them unique. No one has the same book as they continue to go through it reading the chapters and wondering what happens next and even creating their own endings. Some friends' stories we find interesting, and we begin to read their book, only to find that the chapters they have already been through are horrible chapters and filled with death and other gruesome things...

We all... Just want to be on the same page with one another. Understand what has happened, and write an ending together. That's why most people become one, and get married... They want put their stories together and pass them on.

Some stories, full of hatred, rage and bloodlust.... others filled with love and kindness... Most believe both to make a wonderful story. Others believe that just one can make for a nice story... But reading through them... One cannot exist without the other. Both of them together comes to make one great book.

Some, stories however, are left unfinished... Some never have an ending as they continue forever throughout history... The one story, that has been going on, since the beginning of time. The one story that was made by the maker of all stories. The one story, that we all have been living out since the Genesis(the beginning). God's Story. The ultimate creator. The writer of the story knows how it will end. The writer of the story knows who will live and who will die before the end. The writer... knows it all.

We are all but characters in this great story. Characters that all have parts to play and the writer knows them all. Characters who have to make decisions in the story, and the writer knows which ones they will make. Characters who are writing an already written story...


A story that is written for one, will be told to the world...
For the world to know the true story, the one that tells it, must be the writer.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22953811/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22953811/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:49:06 PST
PEIN.
[ ] Do you have ginger hair?
[ ] Do you have at least one piercing?
[ ] Do you change what you look like ever so often?
[ ] Do you enjoy making people suffer?
[x] Do you have at least two pets?
-> 1

KONAN.
[x] Do you / have you ever had blue hair? (sixth grade XD)
[x] Do you enjoy origami?
[ ] Do you think of yourself as an angel?
[ ] Do you wear decorations in your hair?
[ ] Do you wear coloured eyeshadow?
-> 2

SASORI.
[ ] Do you like puppets?
[ ] Do you look younger than you are?
[ ] Do you/have you ever had red hair?
[ ] Do you hide behind a tough exterior?
[x] Is your heart the weakest part of you?
-> 1

DEIDARA.
[x] Do you like birds?
[x] Do you like sculpting?
[x] Do you think you're very good at art?
[x] Do people often say you're different?
[ ] Do you have a ridiculously long fringe?
-> 4

KISAME.
[x] Do you like fish?
[ ] Do you have an odd shade of skin?
[ ] Is there something wrong with your teeth?
[ ] Your eyebrows are hard to see / aren't there.(OH, MY EYEBROWS ARE DEFINATELY THERE.)
[x] You like to do things the fast and easy way.
-> 2

ZETSU.
[ ] Are you schizophrenic?
[x] Do you have mood swings?
[x] Do you like plants?
[x] -- Venus flytraps?
[x] You have an eye problem.
-> 4

TOBI.
[ ] Are you a good boy?
[x] Ever had an extremely violent mood swing?
[X] Do you like Lollipops?
[x] Ever been in a crushing situation?
[X] Ever been so obsessed with this one person? (Zelda...XD)
-> 4

ITACHI.
[x] Do you like to torture?
[ ] Do you have homicidal siblings?
[x] Ever wanted to kill your whole family?
[x] Do you come across as moody and evil?
[x] Do you spend too much time alone?
-> 4

HIDAN.
[x] Are you religious?
[x] Do you wear necklaces?
[ ] Have you ever self harmed?
[ ] You whine a lot.
[ ] You have funny coloured eyes.
-> 2

KAKUZU.
[ ] Do you have a money fetish?
[ ] Do you like sewing?
[x] Do you like to cover your hair or mouth?
[ ] You're greedy?
[ ] You' re a secret ballerina!
-> 1

I'm Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi and Itachi... YAY

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22952301/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22952301/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 20:10:32 PST
Heh, life is precious. How didn't I know that? Maybe I should put it this way; I knew that, but somehow I forgot. Heheh... My reckless actions. Most of them'll get me killed if I'm not careful. Haha, and I promised I'd stop being so reckless didn't I Juni-chan? XD;

You only have one, so why waste it? Haha, you shouldn't. Most things can be found precious. Even the worst of things. Things that can kill you can even be precious such as smoking and meth. So with that, the second meaning of precious should be "Whatever you make it" ^^

My friends, art, games, the sky, tennis, my speed, all of that's precious to me in this life. Haha, other things people find precious can ruin what you find precious, but that's only if you let them. Heh, if you find your relationships precious, don't let anyone come between it ^^ If the other person says they don't think they can go on with you anymore, keep the memory precious to you.

People who lose their memories lose their minds -LOVELESS

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22906124/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22906124/ Fri, 30 Jan 2009 14:38:55 PST
1) When I was growing up, I never ever heard that I was beautiful or handsome, so I always believed I was ugly. (Effect: I'm not used to hearing it and when I do, I question it.)

2) When I was 10 I tried killing my family while they slept because I was always treated differently. (Effect: I detest my family)

3) I was locked out of my house in winter while it was raining when I was 7 and went into shock. (Effect: Scared of cold water and anything cold)

4) I have almost been sent to juvenile detention center because of my sister's lies. (Effect: Hate my family and no longer trust any of them)

5) When I was almost sent to juvenile, my parents told the officers to go ahead and take me. (Lack of trust in family or anyone)

6) When I was 5 I was almost killed by getting stabbed in the side of the face (Effect: Scar on my cheek still lasts)

7) When I was 11 I stepped in front of a UPS truck trying to kill myself, only to be pulled back back Violet. (Effect: Complete trust in Violet, lack of trust in myself)

8) In 5th grade I sliced a guy's cheek for messing with one of my asian friends (Effect: Class mates feared me, lost friends, suspension)

9) I'm always seen differently by my family because I don't like what they like (Effect: Distancing myself from family, anti-social)]

10) When I was young, I was white with grey eyes and reddish-brown hair. My dad always thought I wasn't his and so we never spent much time together (Effect: Nothing that hasn't been mentioned already)

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22882395/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22882395/ Thu, 29 Jan 2009 09:53:17 PST [link]

When what you want, doesn't know what it wants... What do you do?

When what they want, isn't what you want... How do you handle it?

When what you want is what you get but it is taken away do you chase it?

When what you want, was a dream, and it can become reality, do you fight for it?

Answer if you can...

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22870295/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22870295/ Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:33:04 PST )

1. - Pic of Cauto, Climber or Karl.
2. ~aniahamarut - Pic of Kraex
3. - Dave with a plastic knife (lol)
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
And also I just wanna share one of my favorite songs with all of ya! ^^ These are the lyrics. The song is like.. 3rd on my playlist. Found here:
[link] Lol, I kinda wanna hear someone else sing it. I can sing it but it's manly XP. I really wanna hear Kuro-chan and Hai-chan sing it.

1000 Words Lyrics
Artist(Band):Sweetbox

I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily

I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily

"Save your tears 'cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
But still I swore to hide the pain when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart

Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the time and distance holding you
Suspended on silver wings

And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever

The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can forget
I still relive that day
You've been there with me all the way
I still hear you say

"Wait for me, I’ll write you letters"
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the doubt when I turn back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait?
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late

'Cause a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though I can't see, I know they're reaching you
Suspended on silver wings

Oh, a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradle you
Making all of your weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever

Oh, a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home and back into my arms
Suspended on silver wings ohhhh

And a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll cradle you
Turning all of the lonely years to only days
They'll hold you forever
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
A Thousand Words

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22834422/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22834422/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:28:08 PST ______________________________________________________________________________
Illuminati purpose- Hai and Vi, this is important. You must read this.
[link]

Moving on... I. AM. NOT. GOING. TO. LOSE. TO. THIS. FALSE. GOVERNMENT! I refuse to lose. Heh, you reading this on deviantart may think I'm the craziest nut ya ever seen but the ones who know what I know, they know what's up. The illuminati, a bunch of humans that believe they have divine right. BULL! Hai, Vi, Kei and Hal. All of you who stand with me in K.A.I.T. Do not EVER think for a second that we will lose because I'll be damned. If we lose, we lose our lives. UNDERSTAND THAT AND UNDERSTAND THAT CLEARLY. You, Hai, are my biggest priority as well as EK and SK. Vi, you are in charge of Hal. Kei, you are with me. If I am to communicate with any of you it shall be by mail only! If I do not know your address then I will think of a way to get it. ANY letter you get from me on this situation, BURN IT! I repeat. BURN IT. Hai, any letter I've sent you about this, BURN IT. Just keep what was said in mind.

If they are to ever get our names, addresses etc, which they probably have all of that on me (bring it on!) I want you to realize, IF THEY ARE TO KILL US. IT WILL BE IN THE FORM OF AN ACCIDENT.

I have much more to say... but it will be tomorrow seeing as though I have to think things through... Hai, Ek, Sk, Hal, Vi and Kei. All of you, don't let me down. For the rest of you on deviantart that know my name, it is now either Nate or Tobias from now on. Do you understand that. For it's Hai. Understand, this is for our safety...
___________________________________________________________
Part 2

Ok... well, as most of you know, I am kinda sensitive about what is said and take most things on certain subjects very seriously, things such as this. That being said, I don't want to hear "You're gonna get killed" or "You're trying to scare people" If I wanted to scare you, I'd do loads worse. Plus, there's no way I would come up with something like this. And now, since I know that some people at my school are reading my journal here on deviantart, let me say this... Shut, your, mouths. What I have heard you say I said is completely irrelevant to what I am actually saying. IF you want me to get killed, then YOU kill me. Stop saying that I'm trying to say the world will end because I did not say that. If you want to fight me then bring it on. If you want to cuss me out, go ahead, I've heard every word. If you call me incompetent, I'll prove you wrong.
Not going any farther until someone notes me and actually tells me that they have read what is in the link.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22833723/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22833723/ Mon, 26 Jan 2009 21:17:58 PST A lie is bad no matter what form it takes. No matter what 'good' it brings and no matter what problem is solved

I've been pondering that a while now... I'm christian and I know that lying is basically a seperation of God. But I was thinking and realized something, and this has a big impact on me, most of the problems I've solved no matter how big or little were solved with a lie I told or acted out (ex. Acting as though you don't know when you do)...

They are never big lies that will keep it going forever or to make the problem more intense. More like this... Hmm here's a scene. Two people are arguing over a boyfriend that supposedly broke up with girl A and is now with girl B. They come to me asking me to help them out and the story from girl A is that the boyfriend has texted her saying he still loves her and that girl B means nothing to him. Girl A doesn't have the text to prove it because she deleted that 'nonsense' but instead went and told the girl. They fight and girl B says that he would never say that and that he always puts girl A down when she's around girl B. The guy is sitting there agreeing with girl B saying he wants nothing to do with girl A. Girl A of course, is outnumbered and is put in a position where she is assumed a liar... She isn't lying, just very, very messy. This is where I get involved. I hear the story and as you can see something doesn't seem right. I talk to the guy and his story changes. He says girl B told him to send the text to see how girl A would react. I go and talk to girl B and I tell her what he told me. Of course, she gets pissed, finds the boyfriend and of course he says he didn't say anything. So I'm put in a position where I am also a liar. So I use that... I call the guy on three-way with girl B on the phone. I tell him that girl A says she misses him and really wants to be with him again(THE LIE). The boyfriend says he thought so and confesses that he wants her back (he doesn't know she's on the phone). Girl B of course is ticked off and yells at him then calls girl A and apologizes. End of story.

Was that wrong? I'm not trying to justify lying, not at all. What do you think?

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22825037/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22825037/ Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:15:25 PST
2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. How have I affected you?

5. What do you think of me?

6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?

7. How long do you think we will be friends?

11. Would you hug me?

14. Physically, what stands out?

15. Emotionally, what stands out?

16. Do you wish I was cooler?

17. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?

18. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

19. Am I lovable?

20. How long have you known me?

21. Describe me in one word.

22. What was your first impression?

23. Do you still think that way about me now?

24. What do you think my weakness is?

25. Do you think I'll get married?

26. What makes me happy?

27. What makes me sad?

28. What reminds you of me?

29. If you could give me anything what would it be?

30. How well do you know me?

31. When's the last time you saw me?

32. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

33. Do you think I could kill someone?

34. Do you think I would kill someone?

35. Are you going to put this on your deviant journal and see what I say about you?

[comment answering the questions]

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22807523/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22807523/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 16:19:48 PST
Ah well.. At least she's trying to keep me happy so that I won't get all depressed and negative... Then I really may end up losing what I want! D: Can't really say I'm not grateful... *whispers* You hear that.. I'm grateful! Stop punchin me! XD;

Humph... Well, honestly I do believe what she said was true; If you keep moping around saying that you've lost her then guess what you idiot. She's lost! If you stay positive then you have a better chance. Now just shut up with the negativity and stand fast on what YOU want. Blah blah blah... I hear ya. Lol...

My persistance is no meager thing. If I want something I'll chase it down until I gets it! My persistance has never really gotten me into trouble... ok..well it has... But not major trouble. I hear that most girls like men that are really persistant. Just kidding just kidding... I'm not searching XDD

I'm considered as, 'fast' in most cases but I really don't see how. I guess I'm not romantic? I mean, I'm not gonna beat around the bush. I'll just tell ya straight out... *sigh* A trait I hate when it comes to women

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22805570/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22805570/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 14:34:24 PST I'm here to stay, can't stay away, my friends are all here, shame on me to disappear.

^^ Yeah... I'm here to stay. Let's say I got some sense knocked into me by all of you who tried keeping me to stay (Don't remember all of you sorry ) and the head injury I received from a close friend! *rubs head*

Anyway lol, I can't go. Instead of looking at what may happen if I leave and who'd be happier, I'm just gonna say "Who cares!" Hahah *happy dances* I don't have much to say, but I am back. My mind is clear and I feel at peace... Heh, this is the perfect time to go for what I want, wouldn't you say?

No matter what happens, you must always remember... It was dark before dawn. Light didn't come until God said for there to be light so that is what you must do. Instead of sulking in the darkness, find a light and find others who will flock to your light. The more that come, the bigger the light becomes and it will help others to see where you are and what's in store. - Refined minded me

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22771201/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22771201/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 22:19:05 PST (I'll give it back! *shot*)
Fill it out and if I see it in your journal i'll do one too.

+WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I...+
I committed suicide:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I lived next door to you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got into a fight and you weren't there:

+WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY...+
Personality:
Eyes:
Hair:
Family:

+WOULD YOU...+
Be my friend?:
Keep a secret if I told you one?:
Hold my hand?:
Take a bullet for me?:
Keep in touch?:
Try and solve my problems?:
Love me?:
Date me?:

+HAVE YOU EVER...+
Lied to make me feel better?:
Wanted to kiss me?:
Wanted to kill me?:
Broke my heart?:
Kept something important from me?:
Thought I was unbearably annoying?:

+AND MORE...+
1. Who are you?:
2. Are we friends?:
3. When and how did we meet?:
6. Describe me in one word.:
7. What was your first impression?:
8. Do you still think that way about me now?:
9. What reminds you of me?:
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?:
11. How well do you know me?:
12. When's the last time you saw me?:
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?:
14. Are you gonna paste this to your journal see what I say about you?

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22747671/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22747671/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 21:06:36 PST ... Gonna try releasing some stress and clearing some things from my mind... Some of these are true, some aren't. That's for you to ponder yourself....

I am...
Courageous:.: Paranoid
Loving:.:Hateful
A liar:.:Honest
A leader:.:A follower
A hardworker:.:A lazy ass
A mature boy:.:A curious child
Selfless:.:Selfish
Envious:.:Considerate
Loud:.:Quiet
Open minded:.:In a closed world
a photographer:.:an artist
a suck up:.:a rebellious little dog
Convincing:.:seen as ignorant
highly expected of:.:is seen lower than dirt
merciful:.:a mind killer
I give out my love, I get none in return. I help people through things, I have no one to help me. I'm in a group of people, but I am alone. I speak very loudly, but am never heard. I am always wishing, but never believing. I'm always chasing something, but I never catch it. I face everything head on, then get my head bashed in.
All humans are the same:
a two sided coin:
a paradox...

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22723636/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22723636/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 21:57:17 PST
If you wish to call me and talk I suppose then I'll give you my phone number via note. I dun wanna put it in this journal and get calls from 40 year old men asking can they come over to my place...

Anyway... I have alot of things to work on within myself if I ever want to accomplish or obtain my number one goal. In which only few know what/who that goal is.

Cya... Remember... until Friday. So say all your goodbyes or whatever before then

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22722972/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22722972/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 21:03:16 PST
Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. See Junidoe
2. Have a family with 2 kids.
3. Travel cross country with my family and friends

Three Names You Go By:
1. Joe
2. Ryuzaki (Lol no lie)
3. Nate River
(any of these plus -kun, -chan, -san, or -sama.)

Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1. Tobiascoolsm
2. Squall_or
3. Miamar-tsuroketa

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1. My eyes
2. My speed
3. My.. I dunno.... Uh...

Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1. Caucasian
2. African
3. Indian

Three Things That Scare You:
1. Large open spaces with no people
2. Not feeling anything
3. Becoming paralyzed

Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. Water
2. Clouds
3. Friends

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. My tennis shoes
2. My soccer shirt from 5th grade
3. A rune necklace

Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1. Linkin' Park
2. Evanescence
3. Three days grace

Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1. Numb- Linkin park
2. 1000 words- Sweetbox (Very...soothing)
3. Great Escape

Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1. Knows how to listen and not talk too much
2. Always gives an honest opinion
3. Caring and trustworthy, not to mention loving

Two Truths And A Lie (in no particular order):
1. I would commit suicide if I had the chance (If you know me.. this is the lie)
2. My life has always been going back and forth
3. I've never known my parents together


Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:
1. Nice smile
2. Very smart with alot of common sense
3. Sweet voice

Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Martial arts (making up own moves)
2. Drawing
3. Photography

Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1. Go to sleep
2. Go outside and lie down
3. Go to Texas

Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:
1. Intelligence department of the police
2. Photographer
3. Mercenary (long time ago XD)


Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1. Japan
2. France
3. Canada

Three Names You Like:
1. Toby
2. Genesis
3. Luna

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:
1. Uh... I suppose, I focus on my hair?
2. ....?... I don't know really
3. I take time to pick out my clothes since everything's blue, black or white..

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:
1. Likes fighting
2. Is interested in sports
3. Laughs when someone burps or something... XD

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22719304/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22719304/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:42:16 PST

[link]


[link]

I'll tell you what I see after you comment! ^^

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22716811/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22716811/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:46:47 PST
]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22687180/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22687180/ Tue, 20 Jan 2009 05:30:48 PST
Gotta say... I'm not really counting on Obama to make things right at all. *shrugs* It really depends on the people to set things to right in our own economy. Oh well, I hope he ends the war over there in Iraq... We've effed around over there long enough wouldn't you say? But I won't like Obama for sure until I see some of the things he said he wants done, done. Don't flame me because I'm like this with every president and almost every person. I just hope that he's not all talk and no action =o=...

Anywho woot! Let's clap for him! He made it this far! *applauds*

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22680831/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22680831/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 18:59:30 PST If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are liars."

I Fear…

[ ] the dark
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[>] open spaces(half an X)
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants

Total so far: 1/2

[ ] being touched
[ ] deep water
[ ]
[ ] silk
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow

Total so far: 1 1/2

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death (dying young)
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[x] clowns
[ ] dolls
[x] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes

Total so far: 4 1/2

[ ] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x being alone
[x] becoming blind (I only fear this now...)
[ ] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up

Total so far: 6 1/2

[ creepy noises in the night
[x] bee stings (I'm allergic)
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals (Thing I fear most)
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love (That's... scary?)
[ ] super secrets

Final Total: 8 1/2

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22669431/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22669431/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:22:31 PST You just are suited for anyone. With your personality you'd be lucky if your little girlfriend in Texas likes you.

Direct quote from *drum roll* My sisters!

Tch... The reason they said this is because:

1) I draw too much
2) I don't listen to that much music (with words)
3) I'm usually quiet unless around my friends
4) I'm 'obsessed' with the computer and her.
5) I'm a demon...

BULL $#!%!! Nothing pisses me off more than someone trying to come in to my life and dictate it. I'm a pretty laid back person that won't do anything to you unless something is done to me.
Let's recap;
1) I draw too much
All right? So what? I like to draw! That's my thing and I'm not letting anyone take that from me.
2) I don't listen to that much music (with words)
I realize that alot of girls like music and for their 'mate' not to really be into it is a big turn off. If that's truly the case, then I may as well be incompatible with anyone.
3) I'm usually quiet unless around my friends
And there's a good reason for that and they proved it. I can't talk to my family about anything without getting the answer "Break off from them or it". My way of thinking is that if you're gonna help someone, help them!
4) I'm 'obsessed' with the computer and her.
I'm not obsessed with her nor the computer. An obsession is something you can't stop thinking about and you'll do anything to get to it. The computer; is far from an obsession for me. I don't get into fights etc just to be on it (example, my sister). Texan friendl Not obsessed with her. There's a difference in wanting to see that person and trying to make arrangements to do so. Plus, to have a long distance relationship/friendship, you have to continue to communicate with that person, not just talk to them every other year or so.
5) I'm a demon...
This pissed me off the most... I'm considered a demon/satan's child by almost EVERYONE in my family except my cousins that are my age and below, and my aunt who lives in Houston, TX(she actually favors me over everyone in my family.) My grandparents and my other aunts and uncles say I'm a demon because I detest being around my family, I'm always locked in my room or outside unless I'm hungry etc, I play 'satanic games' that have witchcraft in them, and I draw characters that use satanic powers. Do they not realize how stupid that sounds? Ok, ao I play final fantasy which has bunny-ladies, giant chickens and little furry talking creatures in them. Does that make me satanic? I mean come on, I'm pretty sure they used to play Mario and Donkey Kong. From their point of view is that not satamic? A man who can shoot fireballs from is palm and fly? Or a giant ape that can talk(in the cartoons) and do all this other neat stuff? Is that not satanic? Bleh...
___________________________________________________________

If anyone sees me differently and even if you don't please comment and say so... I don't want to be talking to you and having you thinking, I'm talking to a demon Lol...

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22668727/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22668727/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 08:39:25 PST
*sorry for one-lined journal entry.. not much to say*

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22611390/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22611390/ Fri, 16 Jan 2009 09:37:40 PST 's journal! ^^ For each and every number you have to draw a picture that corresponds with the category! I'm gonna go all the way!!!


1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Rot
6. Break
7. Heaven
8. Away
9. Cut
10. Breathe
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Spit
17. Blood
18. Under
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. War
22. Mother
23. Distastefull
24. Want
25. Lurking
26. Europe
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Urban
30. Rain
31. Flower
32. Night
33. Wrath
34. Moon
35. Walk
36. Precious
37. See
38. Abandoned
39. Dream
40. 4:29 PM
41. Citric Acid
42. Still
43. Die
44. Two Roads
45. Two Guns
46. Drop
47. Dirt
48. Young
49. Preservatives
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Old
53. Desecrate
54. Tower
55. Need
56. Biohazard
57. Sacrificial
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Desert
61. Fairy Tale
62. Voodoo
63. Do Not Disturb
64. City
65. Horrorific
66. Snow
67. Drum
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mislead
73. I. Can't.
74. Confrontation
75. Mirror
76. Broken
77. Testament
78. Drink
79. FUCK [if this theme offends you you may do the alternate theme "Balk"]
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. +
83. Heal
84. Cold
85. Sick
86. Seeing Red
87. Hunger
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drown
92. Rape
93. Iron
94. Soft
95. Advertisement
96. Storm
97. Safety
98. Puzzle
99. Alone
100. Gone

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22605168/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22605168/ Thu, 15 Jan 2009 21:25:03 PST Maybe they should, you wouldn't be such an idiot right now if they would.

I am considered weirder than most because 1) I rarely ever talk in class and my face is always buried in my artwork or a book. 2) I am so called defined as anti-social at my school. 3) I'm mixed with white, black and indian but I am assumed to be a terroist(an arabian) in the eyes of peers and teachers.

So... Yes, the only thing I have to agree with is that I am in fact anti-social in most cases. I will not speak unless prompted to or unless I disagree with your thoughts and especially if you say something out of line to myself or my friends. No matter who it is, Teacher, student or a 7 year old who tries to act my age(my brother), my comebacks are cold as ice especially if I detest you beyond reason.

Ha, most of you are probably thinking, "Bipolar much?" Not bipolar... Tired of being pushed around... If I had to tell you how many times that I've gotten into fights and how many times I've been suspended in my life, you wouldn't believe it. All of the times, it was self defense and that's no lie. I don't pick fights but I sure as hell try to finish them. I have gotten into over 73 fights in my life, male and female, none of them teachers, and all of them my age limit or like 2 years older. I have been suspended from school 7 times that I can remember because of racist idiots who think I'm effin arabian. I have been almost sent to freaking a juvenile detention center because my sister lied after pulling a knife out on me and because she's a female and because of the supposed male and female strength differences, I was taken in with a warning for something I didn't do.

So... people say I'm bitter and I hate the world... I'm not bitter whatsoever and I really enjoy life. I don't hate the world, I just detest the majority of the people on it. Besides, call me bitter if you want... I have every right to be, but I choose not to because I refuse to live alone and not have friends. I have about 30 friends. Only 12 know me inside and out, only 7 I trust completely. Not many right? No it isn't... and I'm fine with that.

My 'bitterness' comes from not knowing what it's like to have your blood mother and blood father married. My 'bitterness' comes from racist comments and getting beat up all the time in my childhood because of it. My 'bitterness' comes from being lied on and almost being sent to a juvenile detention center and ruining my life. My freaking 'bitterness' comes from being stabbed in the side of my face at age 6 and almost dying. My 'bitterness' is only shown, to people I detest. My 'bitterness' has never... and never will be... shown online to those whom I love because my 'bitterness' can drive someone to being afraid, paranoid, and even suicidal, trust me, I know and that's why I refuse to show it.

If you read all this comment saying "Oyasumi" anywhere in the comment.

Next journal entry: "Fights in my life"

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22585434/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22585434/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 19:35:03 PST
"...Hm, this world is disgusting. The people; Why on earth did God put them here? The animals are no different. Always watching, with their green and yellow eyes following me... I hate it. If I was God, If I had the power that he had, I would destroy them and make a world only for me! A world where I won't be watched (laughs)... But... Alas.. It is impossible to have God's powers so I've heard...

I walk past a man on the street as he talks to his wife on his cell phone... As I got closer I heard her laughing on the other end... I detest that sound... Every last bit of it. Why should these people be happy? What have they done to serve their God, or even better, the earth they live on? (laughs) NOTHING! Nothing at all!

I walk on home... Getting the wretched laughter out of my head... Why are these humans so happy? I open the door and sit down at a round table in my kitchen and stare out the window looking at my kids playing in the backyard and I think... Why aren't I?"

Tell me what you think ^^

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22533936/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22533936/ Sun, 11 Jan 2009 20:57:04 PST
If you know a.k.a. Juni, you know that she plays the piano correct? And she's also one of the people I can't wait-but is forced to-meet. Anyway the dream was at a piano recital of hers. She didn't know that I was there but y'know, I knew who she was. Before she began playing, she dedicated the song to someone she had never met before and had only written letters and talked on the with the person (me if you were wondering) and she began to play. I didn't know the song. Not at all. But I remembered the melody. After it was finished, the audience clapped then disappeared and the only two people who were left was me and her. From there, I ran down the stairs to the stage and hopped up on it and at first she had no idea who I was. I explained, we hugged, and the dream ended. I still remembered the melody even when I woke up, and had only heard it in my head.

A few days ago... I went with my dad to some party his friend was having and as I walked in, my eyes shifted to a dvd on the shelf, and I just wasn't allowed to walk past it without picking it up and examining it. Something I NEVER do. So I carried it around with me the entire time I was there, which, we were there for about 5 hours... When we were about to leave, I asked my dad's friend could I borrow it. He said he had no idea how it even got on his shelf (meaning he'd never seen it before in his life) so he allowed me to take it and even have it. I took it home at like 12:45 am and after my parents and everyone in the house went to sleep, I watched it... In the movie, the story of the person revolved around a piano and a certain song that the person's mother always played when he was little. It's like one of those Kung Fu movies with Jet Li in it, but it has a very good storyline... Anywho... The song that was being played put me in a very deep thinking state and when I realized that the song was the EXACT SAME SONG that I heard in my dream those years ago, my eyes teared up... don't ask me why because lol, when you experience something like that, you can't help but be overjoyed.

The song that was played in my dream, and the movie, was Mozart's Sonata 11. The name of the movie is Unleashed if you want to see it. I recommend it.

Note for Juni-chan:
If you ever see this journal entry, would you be willing to play Mozart's Sonata 11? ^^ I'd really enjoy it.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22498441/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22498441/ Sat, 10 Jan 2009 01:23:03 PST
Some mothers, just don't care anymore. Almost all of most fathers never really cared. That shouldn't be how it is! I know I'm young, 15 at that, but becoming a decent parent starts now. You shouldn't wait until a kid comes and then start learning, prepare now. I have cousins that are younger than me that don't have dads so they usually see me as their father which doesn't freak me out because I know how they feel.

So, if you don't believe me, just watch the news for a day or a few hours a day. Things aren't as bad as they seem only for the ones that don't even look at the bad things.

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22460076/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22460076/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:07:45 PST
Anyway, for the longest time in any history of the world, even today, running has always been considered being weak.

I'd like to change that view of things if just a tiny bit;
Running, in no way makes you weak, it depends on the situation. I'm sure we can all agree that a man who gets a woman pregnant then runs off once he finds out she is, is indeed a weak man, or as we say, a total bastard.

Running, in alot of ways, means that you are smart. If you are held up at gunpoint and there's no possible way you can get the gun from him/her, are you just gonna stand there and hope they drop the gun? Or are you gonna run? Which seems more logical?

(This point is for someone, here's to hoping they see it)

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22442535/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22442535/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:49:04 PST If there's anything I know I'm good at and won't forget, it's being a kid

XD So true. Today I got so bored doing chores, and started playing Final Fantasy XII (I RECOMMEND IT). I went to the Moshporan Highlands and it was raining. =w= Moving on, going through there, a song popped into my head from when I was little and I think it was from Barney or something? XD It goes like;

"If all the raindrops were lemondrops and gumdrops, oh what a rain that would be. Standing outside with my mouth open wide, ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah"

XDD It's stuck in my head now! And we have school tomorrow too!!! I hope I don't just start singing it in the middle of class.... Tomorrow we have to meet our new teachers for this semester. I can't say I'm all that excited... Last year I had this crazy cat lady who would suspend you if you hated cats OwO;; This year it's gonna be some dog or bird lady... I'm kinda scared now... XD;

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22431763/ http://Aurion-Tenosai.deviantart.com/journal/22431763/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 11:04:33 PST
Afteh my little outburst yesterday (Which I surprisingly cussed in alot O.O) I got calls from friends who read it and they were like "You ok dude?" XDDD Made me laugh just from them calling...

So I have a question! This also got me thinking, when you're angry, would you say that it takes the form of past pains and hate? Or just what you're feeling at that moment? *shrugs* Gives me a character plot lol, but if that's what it means, then only correcting your past wrongs can mean true peace. OwO

I feel so smart now =w= Oh well, hope everyone has a nice day. We have school tomorrow!!! *flails*

]]> ~Aurion-Tenosai