http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Azriraphile&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Azriraphile en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 23:27:57 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/20894849/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/20894849/ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:05:38 PDT
but that wasn't what this was supposed to be about.

My uncle makes me giggle. and that my aunt isn't happy with me makes my stomach hurt. and life could be a horrible horrible place.

Except it isn't. its acutally quite nice.

yay.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/20700730/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/20700730/ Sat, 27 Sep 2008 07:57:28 PDT
--

Please, repost this in support of your friends and loved ones who are. Love is not defined by color, creed, sexual preference, or gender. Feel free to add your own story to the end.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the one working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am a warrior for my country serving proud, but can't be my true self because gays aren't allowed in the military.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the who isn't sure what she is. I am the who is rejected by her "best friends" because of a less-than-conventional crush.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."

This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of brutality . Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. MURDERED BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!!!

I am the girl who tried to kill herself, because she couldnt stand the bulling"

This is the girl. Alex Jones, when her class mates found out she was bisexual and had a girlfriend, they beat and bullied her untill she had to move away, she know keeps her sexuality a secret because shes so afraid

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS
AS "HOMOPHOBIA."

IF YOU ARE IGNORANT... IGNORE

Please, repost this in support of your friends and loved ones who are. Love is not defined by color, creed, sexual preference, or gender!

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/20058323/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/20058323/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:21:52 PDT
I'm already so damn lonely.

My roommate had her parents to help her move in. I've seen all sorts of people with thier parents. My Aunt Debbie and Uncle Gary helped me move in but they had to work so couldn't stay, the Man the Lady and the Wimbish are already back in WY, becuase they have work and teh Wimbish has her own move in to take care of. I'm grateful for all the help they had all been able to give me...

but dammit all i want MY parents.

Theres some sort of family meeting later, other group things for parents to be involved in. i'm not going to any of them, cause i dont have anyone to bring to them. I have nothing to do till 4:00 pm, when i meemt my orientation group or whatever, so i'm sitting in my room (which is actually pretty nice) typing on wilson, adn feeling sorry for myself. I know this, acknowledge it, but seem to be doing it despite knowing it isn't going to help anything. i'm lucky to have so many people who will be there for me if i need them, so what if they aren't here right now. they would be if i asked them to, i just dont want them to have to miss work or put off doing whatever it is they need to do so they can hold my hand.

But i'm lonely.. so damn lonely... i've talked to my roommate, and two other girls. i didn't even really introduce myself to one and, since i suck at names, forgot the name of teh other. I want my people. all my people. all the people i've ever hung out with. i want them. becuase i dont want to meet new people only to leave them again.

I'm so damn tired of leaving.

I haven't cried too much really. i'm trying not to. but its hard, and a couple tears leak out everyonce in a while. I'm sure everyone gets sad when going away to college. My aunt almost cried after we finished moving all my stuff, and she only lives about a mile away. no great distance between me and family. but i'm sad anyway. its probably only happening this soon becuase i'm still. i should go out, do something, see something, meet people...

except i dont want to risk getting lost and being late, i dont know what there is to see, and i'm so damn bad at meeting new people....

i want my parents... i wish daddy was here... i didn't get to spend nearly as much time with him as i had wanted to... but i'll see him. when we both go up for Stef's baby, i'll see him... even if that isn't for a while...

i wish my mom was here.

seeing my roommate having her parents help her move in, going with her to get all her stuff checked off... i wish... well, i just wish i guess.

but i wish a lot, and i've learned by now that they rarely come true.

i need something to do. something to keep my mind off the lonely........
i just dont know what.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/20011942/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/20011942/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:43:29 PDT
I'm in MO. and its awesome. Humid as all hell but awesome none the less.

i'm gonna go to COOOOOOLLLLLEGEEEEE...


ohs yeah.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/19661779/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/19661779/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:15:51 PDT NOTE TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE!!!!!!

YOU DONT HAVE TO READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

Ramona was born on August 15, 1960. She is mother of Christopher Seth Harrison, who is now 25 and married, Stefanie Michelle Harrison, who is 23 and pregnant with her first child, and Rebekah Nichole Harrison, who is 18 and entering college this fall.

Her husband, Theodore J. Harrison, continues to tell his youngest daughter he's 21, though she's pretty sure he's like 56, and he has a tendency to go driving and not tell anyone where he's going.

She comes from a large family, which gets larger all the time, and taught her children that family is important. She was incredibly talented and gifted in art and creative and recsourceful, making beautiful things both on paper and off. She gardened, and built, and fixed, and healed, and painted, and drew, and sewed, and sang, and cooked, and cleaned. She did whatever needed to be done and she found a way to do it well.

She was beautiful, and kind, and the center of her youngest child's world.

She died on July 31, 2001, 15 days before her 41st birthday, and 15 days before her youngest entered middle school. About a month after her middle child came home from having lived with her grandmother for a year. Years before any of her children, or her husband, would have stopped needing her.

We still need her, but she's not here, and the anniversery of the day she died is coming up. Its a day, I'm a bit ashamed to admit, that I dont usually pay much attention to. Maybe becuase I was younger, maybe cuase I try very hard not to greive for her, for many reasons, or maybe just becuase I refused to see the aniversery of the day that she left me as something important. But no matter how much I deny it, it is.

I'm 18. I'm a big girl now. I should be able to miss my mother on the anniversery of her death, and then later on her birthday, and, of course, all the days before, after, and in between, without falling into little, tear covered peices. I'm trying, which she taught me was more important than suceeding sometimes, but I'm not doing very well. She supposed to be here. She's supposed to be here to see me off to college, she should have been there for my big brothers wedding, and she should be there in January when my sister has her baby. She should be there for my father, becuase he needs her, just as much if not more than the rest of us.

She should be, but she's not, and I guess part of my problem is that, even after 7 years, I'm still coming to terms with that.

Sorry for this, I'm sure no one really wants to read about it. Mother loss is a taboo subject for most people. But I needed to right, and this seemed like as good a place as any.

She needs to be remembered, and sometimes i have trouble remembering her. After 7 years my memory of her has faded far more than it should. But even if its only her name and the day she left she should be remembered by someone, somewhere, and hopefully thier heart wont break when they think of her.

She was beautiful, and wonderful, and she was my mom.

i miss her so very very much...

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/19278753/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/19278753/ Tue, 08 Jul 2008 17:50:58 PDT
I watched two boys today, along with the two girls i usually watch. The watching, in and of itself, wasn't so bad.
We went to the park, they played on my comp (I"M SORRY WILSON!!! i'm so... sooooo sorry....), they ate lunch and played ...stuff... but that was the good stuff.. here's the bad.

1) When we went to the park boy b(b becuase i will not use names and becuase he's the youngest.) pulled down his pants and peed over the side of the bridge on the playground. looked away for two seconds and his pants were down. he's still potty training so i guess he didnt realize he had to go before we left the house. but yeah. pantless and peeing. another lady who was there saw and laughed and was like "well at least he didnt go in his pants.". Which is true... but then.....

2) He (boy b) pooped in his pants. i had them laying down for a nap cuase thats what the note his mom gave me said they do about that time. so i had them down and then there was this smell...i knew what it was but i tried to deny it... so we went through the series of questions.
me-"Boy b, did you go pottie in your pants?"
Boy b-"... no..."
me-"Are you sure?"
Boy b-"...no..."
Me-"Boy b."
Boy A-"Boy b went potty in his pants."
Me-"Is that true, Boy b?"
Boy b-"... no..."
Me-"do i need to check?"
Boy b-"... yes..."
and then i checked. and he had. so i had to change his pants and his underwear. and i had to try and wash his underwear out in the sink. i touched poop. it made my skin crawl and i had to wash my hands about three times before i was ready to leave the sink.

3) He did it again. i cuaght the scent and i knew.. iknew... but it was worse than i had thought. massive diareah... or however you spell that... it was bad. really bad. i had to strip him and give him a bath.. .more poop.. there is fecal matter in my tub, which is currently soaking with bleach. i may use more bleach. and wash my hands again. i feel the urge to wash my hands again.... ..... okay. i'm clean. not really. i touched poop. fecal matter in my tub... TT_TT poor tub....

4) i don't know when it happend or who's responsible but someone got sticky stuff on wilson. no more using wilson. we'll use the downstairs comp to play games but we aren't subjigating wilson to that type of torture tomorrow. his screen was a mess and there was stuff on his keys. no more using wilson. ever. just no. plus, someone downloaded some game on my comp. if i had known when it happened there would have been hell. i think it was girl a (a becuase oldest) she's the only one who can read so i think she must have known what was happening. girl b would have been like "Rebekah, i cant do my game. rebekah? Rebekah?! I cant play my game. i want to play my game! rebekah!!" so yeah, im' thinking girl A cuase the comp asks for administrative confermation before things can be downloaded. so someone had had to push the yes button when asked "are you sure you want to download?". i think it was girl a. she was on the comp the whole time, even when it was someone elses turn she was right there. she would have seen it. i'm so freaking pissed. but i can't yell at them or anything, i'll talk to her about it tomorrow but i'm pissed that some dress up game got downloaded to my computer. so very pissed.

and the polly wog (my nephew) keeps trying to touch wilson and put things in his mouth that dont belong there, like cellphones, and water bottles, and cords. and knees... i have baby spit on my knees...

i hate saliva. its right up there with fecal matter and germs.

i need to unwind. i need to find my center and calm down. i need.... i need. i dont know what but i need it.


ice cream... i need icecream... and frosting... sugary goodness will make my world a better place.. and tea... yummy....

there might have been more but i dont know what it is.... xp... ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/19236177/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/19236177/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:29:05 PDT
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/have had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles.
[ ] I hate my dad.
[ ] I hate my mom.
[x] I have a brother.
[x] I have 2 sisters.(though technically only one by blood. xp)
[ ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.
[x] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something.(my other hand...)
[x] I've had my pants rip in public.
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
[x] I was born in a different country.
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.(well, my uncle did the driving but i was stuck in the car.)
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] I've been to Europe. (wah, i mis germany T.T)
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from MySpace.
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue. (not yet but i will!!)
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.
[x] I'm single.
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[ ] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I'm bi. (or at least bi-curious)
[ ] I'm gay.
[ ] I've had sex.
[ ] I've had phone sex.
[ ] I've cybered.
[ ] I've had sex in public.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
[ ] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.(my freinds house, but still)
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I've cheated on a test.
[ ] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've be... ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/19017317/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/19017317/ Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:14:14 PDT
I got my camera. My wonderful beautiful $635causewhileI'msureIsaidnoapparentlyIsaidyesmore Nikon D40 camera. It overjoys my heart but it certainly hurt my bank account.

But this means pictures, so my bank account can suck it up. Some just for the sake of taking pictures but also i can use them for refrence for my drawings, and to take pictures of my children(the girls i babysit plus my nephew) and to take pictures of just about everything else. ^^ oh man, life is good. though, its gonna take a while for teh battery to charge. I have one that the guy who stole all my money (i know he was jsut doing his job but dangit, the camera was supposed to be like 384 or someting and then, suddenly, its 635. wah.... poor bank account....) said will only last like, 20 minutes (the one that's charging now) and another that caused my bankacoutnt so much pain but will last around 2 hours.

i'm happy with it. it was kinda spur of the moment purchase. I wanted a digital cam that had film camera capabilities but i was going to do something, well, cheap. but then i wanted changealbe lenses and it had so many wonderful possibilities...

but anyway... wonderful camera happy.

and besides that... i have music that makes me happy, even though i'm feeling a little lonely just now. and though my girls are cranky and burst into random tears and want me to play pretend (which is much harder than it used to be. when i was a kid i rocked playing pretend but apparently 18 year olds just aren't as good at this sort of thing.) and they've been arguing so much this week... i love them much. they're just so adorable, even though they're cranky.

like just now. oh my god the cranky.... *eye twitch* she's so luck she's absolutley adorable.

but yeah. life is good despite the lonely and the cranky. And now i have a camera.

thats about it. they want me to play pretend and be the mom inthe game of house. man, i suck at house.... TT_TT....

EDIT~~~~~~~

My camera needs an sd memory card, or some sort of memeory card, cause there is nill memory onthe camera itself. dammit. now i have to go spend more money... i am so lucky i'm working... even then though.. i wanted to save this money TT_TT i had plans.... so sad. so sad. Ah well, i could have gotten it when the guy who kept trying to get me to buy stuff offered but by then i was so terrified of how expensive it was getting that i was able to say no. and it turns out i needed it too... damn.

and the cranky knows no bounds. i actually had to use my ace card, the calling of the mother, so now if essie keeps not listening (though she finally ate her food) Mrs. Angie is gonna come down and talk to her. i really dont want to bug her at work and it sucks to admit that im' having trouble dealing with a three year old but.... if youve ever had to deal with a three year old every day from 9-5 you'd understand my current state of annoyance, even though my little mood thing says i'm glad. It's broken so it doesn't know any better. and dammit.. theres the lonely too. i need to buy a card for the cam. pictures will make my world better.

le sigh, the cranky ... so sad, so sad.... ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/18989075/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/18989075/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 19:08:49 PDT
Cause I did it on Meru's

Comment and I'll...


A) Tell you why I friended you.
B) Associate you with something – fandom, a song, a color, a photo, etc....
C) Tell you something I like about you.
D) Tell you a memory I have of you.
E) Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
F) Tell you my favorite picture of yours.
G) In return, you must post this in your journal.


thats probably gonna be hard... but oh well ^^ people rarely comment on my journals so maybe i'll be lucky.

and besides that.....

not much to say.... i miss.... lots of stuff, and lots of people.... and ... much love to all....

oh, and DMC 1 and 3 dont like me anymore... but i'll just have to beat on them till they change thier minds ^^

it'll be worth it, even if no one understands why. ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/18797656/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/18797656/ Thu, 12 Jun 2008 07:44:39 PDT
I am happy.

its been a while since i could honestly say that but i am.
Life is great now that i've looked past all the bullshit.

I went for a walk this morning, me and my cousin wanted to run to get in shape but she wasn't up to it this morning and i still needed to move so i just took a walk around the park.
It was beautiful, and even though the air was a bit chillly (it was 6 in the morning) it felt great. And it gave me time to think, and i had a little epiphany..

I'm going to let myself be happy, and i'm not going to feel guilty for my happiness. I'm going to embrace the feelings in me, no matter how scary they are, cuase i'm going to be grateful i can feel. I'm going to go after what i want, rather than waiting to see if it will come for me or just letting it pass me by. I'm going to let myself live my life, and by god i will do it with everything inside of me, and im' going to do it well.

cuase what's the point of living if you wont let yourself be alive?

And for those who think i've always been alive... not really. i shut off a peice of me a long time ago. but i'm not going to keep it shut anymore.

i refuse to be afraid of my heart.

cause its realy nothing to be afriad of. ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/18566252/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/18566252/ Thu, 29 May 2008 19:18:43 PDT
I updated. So there. Two pictures. So now you can't say i don't update.

besides that.... I graduate tomorrow. I'm gonna be a graduate. Its so nifty.

And my dad and my brother and shandii are all here... life is good.


I'm gonna go to college. Its gonna be awesome.

^^

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/16836689/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/16836689/ Mon, 11 Feb 2008 17:05:04 PST
Possible reasons for my Ridiculous happy-
1) Aries present that included choco cookie goodness.(which i'm eating now...^^)

2) i did my math homework. ^^

3) New music to listen to.

4) Talked to several of my family members.

5) I have an Uncle Garry. (don't ask.)

6) Bryan loves my sister and is willing to deal with the Harrison Issues (and yes, they do deserve capitals.)

7) Only have one pict left for that stupid art color study.

8) I'm visiting my sister in spring.

9) I'm gonna go to college.

10) I just ate half of my ridiculously chocolatey chocolate cake.

11) I work thursday.

12) I have the number for a chinese resturant which i will put to use next time we have catch-as for dinner. (thank you Steff!!)

13) I'm taking vitimans. (this is acutally probably the reason. .... wow...)

Right. just being sort of random in my hyperness. sorry for the bother but i couldn't stop myself.

^^ love you peoples ^^

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/16318024/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/16318024/ Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:51:53 PST
I got accepted. holly shiznit. I got accepted to Stephens, which is in Missouri, which i have focused my future upon, which has a pet floor, which is the college I GOT ACCEPTED TO!!!


oh yeah, i'm in a happy plaace.



just sharing with the world.

*wee. ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/15568858/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/15568858/ Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:41:44 PST
He bought me a one year subscription. Thank you kevin, i send you mucho mucho love. you rock. the subscription is freaking awesome. ^^

lets go kevin, lets go. lets go kevin, lets go ^^ you sock rocker you. ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/15546996/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/15546996/ Sat, 17 Nov 2007 11:12:30 PST
oh, to the people who call me, I can only talk after 9 on weekdays (and i warn you in advance i'm sometimes already in bed by then and am not a very nice person when woken up) or on weekends, so if you want to call, call then. Unless you have verizon as well in which case i don't have to worry about screwing up the phonebill, again. so yeah... and... hmm.... cant remeber any other thing so i'll just ignore it.


.... i'm afraid....

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/15078198/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/15078198/ Wed, 14 Nov 2007 18:30:39 PST
the contest.

It would be drawing your character as one of the seven deadly sins:
Pride
Greed
Envy
Anger
Lust
Sloth
Glutteny

i'm going to draw mine as each, which means that once i'm done i'm going to have to find a scanner, but i might steal evans camera...
but anyway... yes, since it is a contest.... the deadline would be... my birthday. November 9th. its a pretty far away deadline. and the prizes would be....
1st-two photo shop picts we can discus.
2nd- one photoshopped and one non.
3rd-one non photoshoped.
4th- my appreaciation?

um, yeah.... ^^. and i think, if this goes well, we might try the oposites, but i'll have to look those up again... ^^

so yeah. contest... Have at it?

entered so far:
Pride:
Greed:
Envy:
Anger:
1)Me ^^- [link]
Lust:
1) purewhiteshadow- [link]
Sloth:
1) The Catz-[link]
Glutteny:
All:
1) purewhiteshadow- [link]

*~*~*
Technically, the deadline has passed. But thats only a technicallity. I've decided that, becuase i seriously need stuff to do during my art period, that everybody wins, even those who haven't turned things in yet, though you have to turn in something before we talk about me making you a pict. but anyway... enter a pict and then talk to me about a picture and we'll see what we come up with.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/14801408/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/14801408/ Wed, 26 Sep 2007 14:29:02 PDT
She(my teacher) read it out loud in class. we're reading evryones out loud so its not like i was being singled out, and I didn't have to read it so it should have been okay. it wasn't. i shook so hard throughout the whole thing. it was terrible. everyone liked it, and i even had one of my freinds stop me in the hallway to tell me so but it was so freaking embarrasing. i've never had any one but family and a few freinds read my stories. now my whole class has heard one. i just want to hide in a hole...

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/14508532/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/14508532/ Wed, 05 Sep 2007 19:47:16 PDT

(in my totaly unbiased opinion he is the best baby ever born)

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/14028467/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/14028467/ Sun, 05 Aug 2007 12:35:56 PDT
i'm writing this cause i haven't written on here in a while i don't think and i don't want anyone thinking i'm dead. thats just not nice. but yeah, i'm alive. without a scanner. and we're using the laptops since we don't have the computer so ... yeah. i'm bored. but i have paint. and i have clear paper stuff. so i'm finding ways to entertain myself. my camera's busted otherwise i would take pictures. but maybe i can steal someone elses... this bordom is starting to bug me though. oh well. hmmm. there isn't much to right. not that much interesting things happening. *sigh* but its not so bad. i have a cell, i'm in the states, i can talk to my sister whenever i want, or to her boyfreind which is almost as fun, exspecially when i tell him things about her cuase he thinks teasing is good for the soul. so its really not to bad... just boring. but that will change eventually i'm sure..

well. love to all and to all some not boring ness. ^^

laters.

rebekah.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/13201931/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/13201931/ Sun, 03 Jun 2007 12:06:41 PDT
and i will now repeat that several times.
I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!I HATE COOKING!!!

really. bye now.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/12974607/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/12974607/ Wed, 16 May 2007 07:28:15 PDT
anyway...*pause while i commit mass ant re-location, you know, since they don't actually die...* right.... i'm done with all my AP tests. History, English, and Chemistry. all over now *quiet victory dance so as not to alert the ants* and we have our flight date down so i know when i'm going to az in june. early enough for me to get a dress and stuff with my sisters'<( not the plural ness^^) help. and then to wyoming... but i'm gettting less and less pessimistic aobut that... sort of. ... sigh, it has been a very long week. and i'm really really tired. not the type of tired that a nap will fix just... tired. maybe i should take a nap any way.... i don't relaly know what the purpose of writting here was... guess just letting everyone know i'm alive.. i think... sortof.... T.T an ant touched me... i'm not usually a girly girl but... eeeeww.....

i must go now.. the vacume is calling... let the mass ant migration begin.



]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/12101922/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/12101922/ Thu, 08 Mar 2007 05:13:34 PST i'm sick. i missed two days of school(missing the second as i type) and it sucks. i hate being all alone in this house, but i haven't gone totally bonkers yet. and i get tea. tea is good. but i have to take pills. two that are like this big--> (..) and one that is like THIS big--> (...........) and THIs wide (...), yeah, and they all taste grose. and i have to do it twice a day. but its getting better. my throat still hurts when i swallow and it still feels irritated but its not to bad. and my head still hurts but its like that dull throb thing that i can ignore, unless i move to fast cuase then it REALLY hurts. but yeah... not to bad. uhmm.... hmm...
i had really wanted to go to school today. everyone is gone for FBLA (future business leaders of America) and all my classes would have been really empty. it would have been cool. Kevin is going to be ticked. he's the only guy in our history class, and today it would have only been the two of us and we would have totally goofed off and i would have probably helped him with his drawing, but no. i'm home. and even with my music its way too quite. and brutus keeps staring at me.... disturbing.... ah well.. i'll just chase him when i feel better.
and i have a fever. which means i have to layer up. but then i get raelly hot so i take stuff off. and like two minutes later i'm freezing. it sucks. and most of the stuff i eat makes me want to gag or tastes funny. ... grr.ah well. i'll get over it. hopefully soon. i hate being alone....
and my neck hurts. its stiff as heck. if i try to touch my chin to my chest things pull and feel like they're cramping and it hurts. same when i tilt it back or turn it to the sides. this really sucks....


oh, and i just had to answer the door for a guy delivering a pakage and i don't speak german. and he hadweird glowy geren yelow eyes. or maybe thats just the fever talking. but yeah. wrong house, so i guess that doesn't matter.

gehhhh<(ranodm noise of a person dying from boredom) yeah. wont be putting up anything artsy till the comp is fixed and i'm better. really hurts my head to stare at the screen. (not that thats stopping me obviously, but we all have our addictioins. ) peace peoples and i hope you are all doing good. ^^

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11994810/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11994810/ Tue, 27 Feb 2007 23:36:07 PST
next~ i'm really hungry, but thats not really what i wanted to say, just a statement of fact. still... i want food. but anyway... in math analysis... playing on the computer... cause i did my test already.... and i'm bored. <-- that is the second random anouncement.

third~(which is realy starting to tick me off) the left shift key on the laptop i'm using doens't work all the time and its really REALLY anoying. i should just use the right one but.... that just doesnt feel rights...

four~ i have contacts. they keep blurring but i've been told thats pretty normal and i'll get used to them. i got them saturday. i can now get them in in under ten minutes and out in under one. ^^ i'm very proud of myself.

five~ Yo, Mac, and Seth have all moved.. and you should all know you are buttmonkeys for it. <( supremely childish insult i still use on occasion)

six~ the lady left this morning for a job interview in the states. i think i'm more prepared this time for the shift in patterns and we're stocked up on juice boxes so all should be good. ^^

seven~ i talked to my dad this weekend (more like 1 inthe morning monday) and it was good. i can't really remeber too much what we talked about but thats okay. we talked like it was normal, which is the best type of talking.

eight~ i've been sort of sad lately and am not sure why. its not everybody moving, though thats part of it, its just.... sad~ness. but i'll get over it so its okay. ^^ bad dreams don't last forever.

nine~ i've been writing the random noises i make latelys ( like pshht- is "disbelief, annoyance, or that emotion you feel when you roll your eyes" and GEE~YAH!!- is "that highpitch squeaky noise i make when excited or happy." things like that) it entertains me. ^^

ten~ nothing really, i just wanted to reach ten.

loves to you peoples, even those who dont read this. ^^. laters.

oh, and a random quote from the AP english things essay.
"To say so is not the same thing as to say 'Down with the Republic!' The republic has its advanteges. Among these is the liberty to say 'Down with the Relpublic!'"

just thought i'd share.

~~~
"its only really bad when you stop trying to make it good." another random qoute. ^^

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11904405/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11904405/ Wed, 21 Feb 2007 05:43:58 PST
purewhiteshadow~ a freind from Jersey, she totally rocks. i love my crazy girl. jerrell, you especialy should talk to her, she has *last time i saw which was ninth grade so there is probably more now* a whole BOOKSHELF full of manga. and thats hers. she also has some sisters who like manga. and a mom.... she is the goddess of manga~ness. cool crazy chick, i converted her to deviant~ism and now i want you people to talk to her. that was one of the reasons i wanted her on here. i want all my people to know each other. so. my girl here, very cool. ^^

Shadow3003~ my freind here. he ist cool. i rant on him all the time and he ist a really good listener. also giving me devil may cry games to borrow so yeah, mucho lub. he's a dork *in a good way of course* and is really nice. writing a story that i think will be realy good. so, talk to this boy . is a good person.

Yoyokeeper~ though she hasn't watched me yet *you Bum!!* she is a good person. any one who recognizes the "yo yo" part will know who she is *thats right! i'm exsposing you to the masses!!* so yeah. talk to her too. jsut cause she ist cool. I miss yOU!!! *she just moved away... (sniffle)*

sarahhauserman~ my artist freind. ^^ have art together and her stuff ist good. some of it kinda frieghtens me, i'll admit, but it is goot. she is nice, funny, crazy girl. so go forth and speak with her!!!

so yeah. these are some people who should be talked to. so go. talk to them. now. are good peoples. go forth and speak my minions!!! *except tigerkit since, technically, i am her minion... so go forth master!*

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11904066/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11904066/ Wed, 21 Feb 2007 04:50:56 PST

a) finding out my dad broke his arm. that in its self is bad enough. i worry about the man likes there's no tomorrow or, more accuratley, like he HAS no tommorow. so finding out, in laymens terms, sucked like hell. but that wasn't what really set me off. what set me off was that NO ONE TOLD ME!!! It happened weeks ago. he gets the cast off soon bu i only found out this saturday. No one told me to spare me the worry but not telling me only makes it worse. not telling me makes me wonder what the hell ELSE no one tells me. i'm not as fragile as people seem to think i am. i can deal with stuff, but only if you tell me about it! so yeah, my reaction when my sister told me was first to scream "WHAT!" really loud and hurt my own eardrum and then to give the phone to my aunt while i had a little panic attack in the corner. and then later to cry when i went to bed. and the next day to have another break down in history class on Kevin cause sometimes i just need to let go and he's good at listening. and i'm still not over it. i'm trying not to worry and i'm trying to understand but she PROMISED! my sister promised that she wouldn't try to protect me cause it really doesn't work. she said she would tell me whats going on, good and bad, so that i could deal with it however i had too and could move on. so that i wouldn't find out AFTER the fact and feel f*cking helpless about it. at least if i had known when it happened i could have prayed or somehting. i, personally, am not a religious person. i don't believe in god for myself but let one of the people i love need help and i'll invoke whatever god you want me too. but i couldn't even do THAT and it makes me feel so... useless.

but yeah. that was item number one that, do to my out-of-it~ness i just couldn't (and cant) deal with like a normal reasonalbe person. i may understand all the reasoning but that doesn't change a god damn thing.

b) mr. cassou making strange voices. okay. this is a much lighter issue. in class, we did a lewis dot structer, nad he was pairing too lone electrons... and he made a high pitch squeaky voice for the one that was moving... yeah.. i kinda fell over laughing. anything thats funny for one person is like, funny times ten for me right now.

c) kevin eating noodles. only 1 lense of his glasses gets fogged up..... yeah.... i try to not laugh but.... i just can't help myself...

those are the major share points for the moment. lots more but none of them are realy important or anything. realy, these aren't important but hey, oh well.

but happy news!!

...

...

...

i have some pictures i'm drawing... that counts as happy.... but thats about all i've got. ah well..... ^^.




I'll still smile though, even when there's nothing to smile about.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11643320/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11643320/ Thu, 01 Feb 2007 04:51:17 PST
i'm in chem at the moment. technically seminar but since our class just keeps going i still consider it chem. we took another test thing. first try i got like, 1 out of 10 points. second try, after he went over everything and gave us the answer, i got 8 out of ten. you think after getting the answers i'd have it perfect but no. i still got some wrong. and this is just practice. and only practicing the FIRST PROBLEM. and the first problems is supposed to be easy... i'm screwed.

but besides that.... .i'm feeling pretty good. turned in my first latin thing today (i've had five months but only NOW ami actually turning things in) i think i did it right but i forgot my dictionary so i might have missed some words. ah well. at least i turned it in... i don't like thinking abut that either. i am SO screwed....

bt BESIDES school..... i'm not going to kill the man. he bought catfood. don't know when but he did. and if i concentrate really hard on something else then my head doesn't hurt as much and i don't feel as nauseous. and since i haven't hyperventilated again since monday i think i'll be good. its thursday. only three days left.

so, thats all i can think of to share... hmm... yeah... thats about it... os then..... Boo?

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11611105/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11611105/ Mon, 29 Jan 2007 12:27:59 PST
those of you who don't know-->
The lady is not currently at the house which means tis me, the cousin, and the man. the man messes up my patterns. at first i was going to give him the benifit of the doubt but now i think he's doing it on purpose. and i may have to kill him for it.

i have patterns. i like my patterns. i NEED my patterns. Nuerotic and OCD? why yes, yes i am. which is why i wake up at five in the morning, take a shower, do all my lotions and stuff and then sleep till six twenty. thats how it works. Thats how *I* work. and he is messing with my pattern. came in and woke me up at five forty five. and not just woke me up, no. he did the light flicker thing. "are you awake? are you awake?" over and over while he flickered my light and i said "Yes, i am awake, please go away." but he didnt. almost FIVE minutse of this, then he turns the light off and leaves the door open. GAH!! he could of at LEAST closed the door. i mean geeze. so i was up at five fifty, ready by six ten and left with NOTHING TO DO until seven. he RUINED MY PATTERN!!! i NEED the patterns. its driving me Crazy. and thats not the only pattern he's ruined either. no, and he bought the wrong type of juice, and didn't get any dry cat food, or sugar and he bought the wrong butter and ARGHHHH!!!.
i never realized how bad my patterns were until he screwed them up. and now, now i am pattern less. becuase until the lady returns im screwed.

and its not just the patterns. he askes the same questions like eight times even when i KNOW he heard the answer. he does it to tease me and he doesn't MEAN to drive me mad but it does and now i have to murder him. it makes me feel kinda bad. and there are just so many little things that i would normaly be able to ignore except i CANT becuase he SCREWED UP MY PATTERNS!!

so now i' really anoyed and the smallest things are setting me off and i have this headache that feels like an icepic is being driven just behind both my eyes and there not to bad now but they'll get worse, oh so much worse. and i have to deal with this for a week. it has me on the verge of screaming or crying or, some how worse, throwing up. all three a definite possibility. hell, i might do them all at once.

i am so screwed. the only way to fix this is to kill him. and even then it wont work. cause he's part of some of the patterns and if he's gone there STILL screwed. Dammit. oh well. maybe i just shouldn't let him shop anymore.

i had really wanted to make cookies.... oh, and my photoshop is being a prick.

this week is going to be hell.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11263314/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11263314/ Sun, 31 Dec 2006 18:54:28 PST
I got to blow things UP!!!

i love New Years in germany, everyone is blowing stuff up. its good. plus food and such. like brownies.... yummm...

just to let any one botehring to read this know, its like, 3:50 here and i just had a Frapicino *aka, Holy Grail, aka Elixir of Life, aka Fountain of Youth, aka All that wonderful stuff.*

Oh yeah, supper hyper... so.... right... ^^. all goot. and caffine filled... mmmm... caffine.... so yeah. right.... there had actually been something i wanted to share... OH!!

My new years resolution:
To actually finish one of my stories!!!!
Nt sure which one yet but one of them. just info for any who care... right. hyper. going to stop now.... WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEE!
^^ lots o love to the peoples that deserve it! *that means not to you you stuck up b4st4rd!!!* ^^ smile.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11049875/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/11049875/ Wed, 13 Dec 2006 10:44:29 PST
okay, just wanted to share this with the world in general cause the girl he's marrying? she rocks. I love her, and now,guess what. She's gonna be my sister. the world is good. like, supper good. Fucking FANTASTIC!!

euphoria for the next five days, i can feel it and its GOOD.

Okay, just sharing the happy. YAY!!

riight i'm done... .

I have another si~ster..*singing this for the rest of ever.*

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/10956612/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/10956612/ Tue, 05 Dec 2006 05:18:58 PST reason 1)
--- all the journals that i hadn't read... or might have read... yeah. i jsut didn't go through them. my home computer is, at the moment, totaled. when i touch it it decides to be stupider than usual so i just am not touching it till its fixed. *i'm in seminar right now. Mr. Cassou, using lab pro and stuff so we use laptops. very cool.* but yeah. answerd most of the comments and then just deleted journals. bad me.
reason 2)
--- fact that i'm on this right now. i should be doing chem stuff or at least school stuff. kinda sad but hey.

just letting people who care know. i probaly wont be on at ALL till comp at home is better. sorrys. and definetly not putting anything up since i cant scan. so sad. ah well. to those who care, laters. to those who don't... i puff my cheeks out at you.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/10161228/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/10161228/ Sat, 23 Sep 2006 11:00:44 PDT This also means *for those of you who care* that the chapter of the story thats up there is going to change. a lot i mean really. so while i thank all of those who read it, its going to be really different. i might not even put up more chapters cuase i don't want to put it up and then put up an updated version. But, for those people that i know, i will send you a copy through e-mail when i finish a chapter, and by finish i mean the edited version. might take seriously forever but i think, maybe, it can be done.
^^ wish me luck.

]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/10087340/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/10087340/ Sat, 16 Sep 2006 04:01:33 PDT
if you are one of these 5 posters
you have to make the same announcement in your journal and pass on the lovin'.

yeah. now that i've done my part i might as well write something here... um.... for those who know me i have amazing news, simply cause its so out of character.

I'm going to let Mrs. Allen read one of my stories *not Azure. i left it in coneticut and don't have engough saved on the computer to bother showing her*

its another story that i started writing, and i actually know where i want to go with it. i'm going to sketch the characters eventually, maybe put them up here... maybe even put the story up here.... but the realy amazing thing....
wether she says she likes it or not...

I'm going to try to finish it and...

actually send it in to be published.
*just the thought give me the shivers.*
but scared or not, good or not, i will. cause i said i will so now i have to....
0.0

shit.

.... *sniffle.* damn, now i'm stuck... but i'll do it. i'll actually finish a story and... and.. and... send it in. *i'm actually shaking at the thought of this. i will be so screwed if it actually happens. i mean when. when it actually happens... eventually.* i think i need to go lie down.

if anyone wants me to put up the story *besides jim cause i know he will say yes. i'm physcic like that, (don't know if i spelled that right)* then say so and i ... i .. i will..... right.... *so much fear.* anyways.

...

i'm going away now. ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9975248/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9975248/ Tue, 05 Sep 2006 10:02:33 PDT hey, i never said i was mature.

STUPIDITY QUIZ

[X] I have walked into a glass/screen door. (we had one out to the back porch of our house. you'd think after years of living there i would stop.... and youd be wrong.)

[] I have tripped over my shoelace and fallen falt on my face.

[X] I have choked on my own spit. (i'd rather not talk about it...)

[] I've seen the Matrix a bunch of times and still don't get it.

[] I type only with my pointer fingers.

[] I have accidently caught something on fire. (if somethings going up in flames and i'm responsible you can be sure it wasn't an accident.)

[] I've told a cop to piss off and gotten screwed for it.

[] I attempted to sip out of a straw but it accidently went into my nose, rather than my mouth. (that sounds so gross....)

[X] Sometimes when I think of something funny, I laugh out loud and people look at me weird. (its not my fault i'm more intertaining than the world around me. and they're gonna stare any way, might as well give them a reason.)

[] I've caught myself drooling.

[] I've accidently caused an explosion. (again. it wouldn't be an accident.)

[] If someone says the word "fart", I cant help but laugh.

[] I've turned into a "do not enter" one way road plenty of times.

[X] Sometimes I just stop thinking & zone out... (this is one of my favorite passtimes.)

[] It is POSSIBLE to lick your elbow.

[] I just tried to lick my elbow.

[X] people often shake their heads and walk away from me. (And i just shake my head back.)

[] People often tell me to use my "inside voice".(usualy they say to speak up...)

[] Gum has fallen out of my mouth while talking.

[] I've used my fingers to do simple math.

[] I've jumped off a moving vehicle. (but i've been tempted to...)

[] I ate a bug for $5 or less. (thats just wrong. you should charge more money.)

[X] I'm taking this test when I should be doing something more important. (probably though i can't think of what it is...)

[] I repost chain letters because I'm scared of what they threaten will happen if I dont. (Yeah... right... no.)

[] I've done something really stupid while I was drunk. (alcohol *or at least all the types i've tried which are several* tastes gross.)

[] I've ran around naked when I was drunk.

[] I've ran into a golfcart tire when I was drunk.

[X] Ive searched all over the place for something, and then realized it was in my hand the whole time. (so i can be a bit slow sometimes. whats your point?)

[X] I accidently break a lot of things... (usually my jewelry...)

[] My friends know not to use big words around me.

[X] My friends like me because im fun to laugh at. (they even tell me this sometimes..)

[X] I move my head to the side when im confused. (i just cant help myself. and then people laugh at me for it... they call it "cute." evil....)

[] Sometimes I start telling a story and suddenly forget what I'm talking about.

[X] I've fallen out of my chair before. (quite often actually... in many places... kinda sad now that i think about it....)

[] When im laying in bed, I sometimes stare at the ceiling and try to find pictures and words in the texture. (i have like five layers of blankets. once i'm in the heat will but me to sleep if nothing else does.)

Now multiply by what you got by 3, and you get your percentage.

Now that I read this all ..
33%... is that good or bad? oh well. that was pretty entertaining. *at least for me. but the rest of you guys aren't being FORCED to read it so i have no sympathy.* ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9776976/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9776976/ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 22:19:24 PDT and all i can do is cry. and that doesn't even DO anything.

but at least its something right? ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9776611/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9776611/ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 21:26:48 PDT I leave tommorow. i fly back to germany with the laurel and the megan. sucks much. and, sorry much to the bish of the wim, i don't get along with laurel. love her, i mean, she's family and sometimes she's kinda okay but i REALLY don't get along with her. i try but i don't. but oh well. i know how to be polite. And, for all my hope, there is very little Faith in me moving to live with my brother. I have hope, i can't stop it and it hurts like a b*tch, but, though him and my father are wonderful men, there is very little faith. i try but that just makes the hurt worse.

But onto the good! not so much good news thats Going to happen but all the good stuff that HAS happened.
I was in az. that in and of itself ROCKS!. got to go to tombstone and bisby and hang with my freinds, meet there boyfreinds, of which i aprove but reserve the right to kick in the nutters if they get out of line. It was all good. plus i have like a gagillion picts of the sky though there are very few of people.
And even coming back to coneticut was okay. At first it sucked like all hell and i cried for the whole day that we got back *not proud to admit it cause i SERIOUSLY hate it when i cry but i couldn't stop.* but after things got better. I got to see My uncle mike and uncle spencer and ugene and jay and Cousin Jakie and Laquan, aunt ally is making me and the bish of the wim mideval dresses. i got to hang out with stef and evan *who i try very hard not to like cause he hurts her sometimes but he just has that charisma thing or whatever. stupid jerk.* but things have been good. and there's Dante.... oh yes. must not forget Dante... Devil May Cry 3? BEST GAME EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh the violence, and the wonderful weapons... i want A sword, though i've realized i have to toughen up before i get guns. How did i realize this? Just today evan took me and stef out to the range. it didn't start well, and me and stef didn't get to do a bunch of other stuff we had planed becuase the ass didn't bother to tell us he couldn't do anything till laurel got him cause he didn't have a car. but in the end it was fun. i have absolutly no aim and the recoil of the rifle almost knocked me on my ass a couple times but i managed to stay upright. when i watched him i guess i though he rested it diferently so insted of restin it just under the colar bone on my shoulder i had it on my upper arm. its already bruising. but hey! BAttal ScarS!!!!!!!! *even if technically its not a scar and there was no battle, thats what i call it when i get hurt doing somthing i thought was fun.* I didn't hit any of the disks *the throwing of which is a lot harder than you'd think* i knew what i was doing wrong but i couldn't get the hang of it. maybe i should stick to smaller guns. god knows the recoil wouldn't hurt so damn much. but despite my bad aim, questionable throwing skills, and new bruise it was pretty cool. plus, we went and got dairy queen afterwards. sometimes evans a goof. but i must admit, i'm instantly three once someone even SUGGESTS heding to dairy queen. i can't help it. now i want bannana cream pie blizzard.. or maybe just a banana cream pie... or banana pudding.... or hell even a banana.....rights. anyway... through out my time here i had fun. i even got to wrestle with my sis in the front yard. she beat me, and i mean literaly crushed me a couple times but i didn't exspect anything else. i had fun though and thats all that matters. And i even halfway like that devil incarnate of a dog. except when he does the snarl and leap which only happens at night but when your trying to get toilet paper for the upstairs bathroom and get your laundrey that is NOT what you want to have to deal with. stupid chow. i have some picts i'll probably put up here when i get back to germany...
So, i'm going back and when i get there i'll probably cry but right now.... it doesn't seem too bad. and i know its not forever. So. My right arm hurts when it moves, had to call the house i'm in so my grandma could get the Beast to shut up, my sis and i didn't get to get peticures *however you spell that, the foot thing* or pierce my cartilege *damnit*, but i had fun and i got to play dante, and i got to shoot the gun, and i got to see my family which was really the best part of everything. I got to see the people i love more than life. so i guess things aren't too bad after all.

^^ ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9501931/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9501931/ Wed, 26 Jul 2006 14:12:21 PDT lixtening to=my brother play his game and make strange noises.


okay, so we got here yesterday. not much exceptional stuff has happened yet besides me seeing my family ^yay^, hanging out with the kimmy and the tina ^yay^ and going to Jack in the BOx with my dad ^really yay *note to all who don't know, i LOVE Jack in the Box. *^ i'm just so hapy to be here. i've called my peoples and are waiting for replies to find out when we can all get together and stuf.

but most probably dont care about that. the hole point of this was to tell you al that i probably wont be getting on the computer very often and if i do it wont be for long so i might not reply if somthing is sent to me till i get back to the peoples whom i live with and i definatly wont be posting anything since my bro doesn't have a scaner. just to let you know i'm not dead just gone away for a while. Talk to you guys later.

-Azriraphile ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9434695/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9434695/ Thu, 20 Jul 2006 07:27:59 PDT ARIZONA

sooo excited.. get to stay at chris's house again, jump the wall and walk to my dad's. see the stacy and the ray.... oh yeah... life est good. what am i talking about, life est GREAT>
and i don't have to work anymore. Sure, that means less money but i hurt and am going to ARIZONA so i could really care less.
Family or Cash?
not hard.
FAMILY *happy dance in circles and singing (or at least in my head, i'm inthe library and my body is way to tired for that.) more hapy danceing!!*
Cant wait. Some o the uncles are in the Grandma house so i get to see them and some of the cousins and since i wont be there long thats good *too much extended family for too long and you want to kill people. imediate family on the other hand, cant get enough.* oh yeah. this rocks. though i wont be able to scan anything till i get back *unless chris got a scanner since i've been there.* and i might be too busy to get on the comp.... but still, i love ya'll but i love them more. i cant help it. they are my heart. ^^ so so so so SOOOOOOO happy....
yeah... there goes my rambling.. hehe.. sorry to any who actualy read this.... just so happy.... ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9122800/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9122800/ Tue, 20 Jun 2006 05:02:23 PDT
Canoe-ing is fun. makes your arms sore as all hell but fun. went like 17 kilometers or somthing down a river. i got to steer. we only got stuck twice. i think i did pretty well for a first timer. then we got to jump off a really big rock into the river. I did it only once for two reasons. 1) fraid o hights. 2) water freaking cold. fun though. after we got back to camp we went to Cascades to go swimming. i didn't swim *way too tired and sore, plus, just not happening* but i got to draw so it was okay. then everyone, including the chaperones, ended up staying up past curfew. it was..... strange..... entertaining but strange. And that was it fro day 3.

DAY 4.

Rope course. also fun. tiring but fun. we did some corny team building exersices and then started on the elements. the first was the spider web thing were you have to get everyone over to the other side without touching the string. pretty easy once every one shut up. Will kept diving through the holes. weirdo. then there was the hanging hammak thing. like a cargo net sturng between trees and we had to get everyone over it. painful. i was one of the two who stayed up there and helped every one else over. very painful for the well endowed. and we had to do it twice cause the last person off the first time landed in the middle. ropes really hurt. Then we did this big swinging tire thing. just climb through without landing in the middle. easy. after was these cables that started out close then sepertaedt. you and a partner were suposed to stand on one cable each and use each other to balance as you slid down. hard exspecially since it was wet. Me and my partner took like three minutest to get started cause we were laughing about bieng tree huggers *all elements built into the forest.* then we id these smaller swinging tire things. it was just tires hangin from ropes at difernt hights and you had to go from one to the next. made my hands raw but i made it first try. way harder than it sounds.then there was just a swinging rope and you had to jump into some hoops and every one had to be in a different hoop. pretty simple. and then there was the trust fall thing. i did it. scared me *hieghts and the fact i didn't trust some of those peoples ^cough^will^cough^.* but it was kinda fun.
After all that we did the "high" elements. jumping from a really tall pole *which wobbled* to a hanging cargo net. I made it. it took me five minutes for my brain to convince my legs to move but i did it. Some people went more that once but i think scaring my self to the shakes once a day is good enough. the last event was this wire thing that had another wire over it with ropes hanging down and you had to use the ropes to cross the wire. Was taller than the cargo net thing. i didn't do it. call me a coward, i dont care. One freak out a day is more than enough thank you very much.

DAY 5.

we left today. woke up late for breakfast but made it just in time *not that breakfast was that good* then broke camp and came home. my hole body is sore and my brain is broken but i'm home. i fell asleep almost instantly when we got in the car. so freaking tired. i want to go to my bed but thats upstairs and i'm not sure my legs will make it. but its okay. i am now in the place were there is no line for the bathroom, soggy sandwiches for lunch, bugs, or people who will not let me be anti social. and it has a bed. even if i can't reach it i know its there and, for now, that is enough.

all in all it was fun. ]]> ~Azriraphile http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9095519/ http://Azriraphile.deviantart.com/journal/9095519/ Sat, 17 Jun 2006 11:11:27 PDT Today is much more eventful. my group went spulunking *or whatever its called. * its basicaly caving and we went through three "caves".
CAVE 1)
climbed through a hole into a cave and then through another to get out.
CAVE 2)
reppelled into a cave *and learend i was slightly afraid of hights EXSPECIALY hights were you could not see ecept little circle of light made by the flashlight on the helmet.* climbed through another hole and reppelled down another cave *stilll scary* then climbed out *way harder than it sounds.*
"CAVE" 3)
more of a cliff. a very tall cliff. *lesson learned= seeing were you are going DOES NOT HELP! determined witthout a doubt that i am pretty afraid of heights.* reppelled down.

I did all these. *even though the last two terrified me. and i only cursed a little.*
others did the last one repetedly but i only did it once. *not stupid, i don't temp the god of "hey, lets watch her fall on her ass", that happens often enough WITHOUT having to go at least 100 feet *smallest one 75 ft* to reach theh ground. * but it was fun. then we went to the bittburg air base *were i am writting from * though i really want to sleep i bought tsubasa 9 so its worth it. and tomorrow we go cannoing.
wish me luck.

-Azriraphile ]]> ~Azriraphile