http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Azuredreamer&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Azuredreamer en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:57:59 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/27385418/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/27385418/ Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:54:12 PDT I just spent the last hour reading my previous journal entries. Most of them made me laugh
and a few ones made me remember "who I really am." *sob sob* BLOGGING ISN'T USELESS
AT ALL!!! Take that, !@#$%^&*!!! )

Dear Ladies and Gents~ I'd like to officially announce that I have become a "full-fledged" adult.
My past entries contained my rants about being a college student enrolled in a nursing school and
how difficult it is. Now, I won't do that anymore. They finally kicked me out after four long years...
In other words, I graduated. o_o Scary, I know... J/K

Oh! It's not just me! Fellow deviants and friends Aruki/Kirsche-chan and Lizzie also graduated this year~
(We went to the same school. OMG past tense! XD) Even if we're sick and tired of it, CONGRATULATIONS~!!!
We effing survived *bleepbleepbleepbleep!!!* (Name of our school. ._. ) Not just that~ We also passed the
Nursing Licensure Exams~ OMG WE'RE LICENSED NURSES! We can now kill people because we have our
frikking license-errr.... I mean, love and care for the sick because we took our oath last month. (Daw... *ebiil*)

We finally achieved that magic paper and card as "proof" of our "place in society." Woot...

Enough of that, time to move on to more important things.

It's been about a third of a year that I've been doing nothing. I tried to work on our joint manga (the project
SealZone and I started 3 years ago) and I think I made some progress. (Please check it out. All
of my latests deviations are there. ) As much as I'd love to finish it, I don't think that
it's time. Since my partner is busy, no manga updates will be posted for a while. Best I can do is finish the story
and do the character reference sketches. All of my time now is devoted to my current solo projects: Project
CENDRILLON and Project CRYSTAL SANCTUARY.

Project CENDRILLON (Cendrillon is french for "Cinderella.") is a collection of sketches of the "Rainbow Vocaloids"
that I customized for my friends and myself. I've retained the names of the characters and the colors they represent.
The sketches range from manga and chibi style but I'll also use other drawing styles. Since I'm still learning how to
color using Adobe PS, I'd be posting the sketches in a few months. Hey, I'm in no hurry to finish this. (Is that a good
thing or a bad thing? *sweat*) For now, I'm mainly focusing on this. (I'm also posting this on my FB account for
friends and family members to see. "Disturbing" sketches will only be uploaded here or else I'd be coerced to attend
sessions with a psychiatrist. >.> )

PROJECT CRYSTAL SANCTUARY is a collection of short stories I made based on life significant experiences my friends
and I went through in the guise of fictional settings known as "rooms." Colors play a great role as I do not state names
but instead colors to represent the characters like "Pink Girl" and "Blue Boy." Each "color" is looking for the "Crystal
Sanctuary," a promised utopia where all the colors of the rainbow meet. Eventually, when I finish all the colors of
rainbow, I'll turn it into a book and publish it. So far I have finished one chapter (Chapter Pink "The Other Side of the
Mirror") and started two other chapters (Chapter Blue "Standing in the Rain and Drowning in the Sea of Blue" and
Chapter Pink Second Shade "Towards the Crystal Sanctuary"). Mostly, I've received positive comments from people
who read my work and will continue despite harsh criticism from *Bleepbleep!!!* These aren't posted anywhere on the
net. I don't think I will... for now.

...Yeah. This will probably take years to complete. But! I do hope you guys will look forward to it! XD

I'm off to find a job! See ya later~! XD

Next: Angsts of a young adult thrust into the reality of working in the Real World. (What? My service s*cks!? I'll Break your Face!!!)

Just ki... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/19353279/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/19353279/ Sat, 12 Jul 2008 11:23:48 PDT Bring a shovel. I haven't seen my floor for months! *exaj*)

What I HAVE been "using" my extra time on is this: PLAYING PERSONA 3 FES!!! WOOOTTTTT!!!!!!! ITS TEH BESTEST GAME IN TEH WORLD!!! *does a little happy dance*

...........

*full split*

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goddammit!!! Ripped my fave shorts!!! >.< *changes*


Since I have no idea on a meaningful journal topic, I'll just rant on about my obssession of P3 (Persona 3). To start off, I'll post one of my friend's text messages:

"Yeah. I know how OBSSESSIVE you can get with persona. Heck, if you could marry the protagonist, I bet you would. Joke." - Jed the Jeddy Bear's text message.

Hmm... Well, Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 is one of the spin-offs of the Shin Megami Tensei series. Unlike The SMT series where you recruit demons/monsters, the protagonists are highschool students who weild melee weapons (for physical atks) and summon personas: another side of themselves (for magic attacks).

Oh~ I've only played Persona 2: Eternal Punishment, Persona 3, and Persona 3 FES. Oh and I blame Jed for starting this obssession. *pouts*

Enwei, you control a silent protagonist which you name (His name in the official manga is Minato Arisato. He's a 2nd year highschool kid with an emo hairstyle. What's cool is that I get to control his life, his personality, the decision he makes, and his relationship with others. Heehee~ I named my chara "Kieran Faris" after one of the charas in our manga (please visit ).

Throughout a year, you live a life of a normal teenage kid in the morning but at night precisely at midnight, you battle with dark beings known as shadows during a time called "The Dark Hour:" a hidden time between a day and the next. These shadows,from Tartarus (aka as the Tower of Demise. A labyrinth/tower which appears only during the dark hour.) prey on the minds of those people who aren't "transmogrified" into coffins leaving them lethargic/apathetic to the world around them. The only weapons capable of destroying these shadows are called "Personas." Only a select few who have the potential have the ability to summon personas which are mostly based on mythology. I like the way they're grouped into different classes or Arcana of the Tarot system. ^.^

The protagonist isn't alone. He (reluctantly. J/K) joins SEES (Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad), a group of highschool students from his school (Gekkoukan High)[though one of them is a an elem kid, a dog, and a robot. !!! SPOILER!!!] who each wield a persona but not you oh noes~ you're special so you get to control 100+. Hehe~

This is now Obssession Reason #1: The Persona Compendium
- I am currenttly at 84%. I forgot to check how many there are. Pfft!!! I have to get the 100% Persona Compendium!!! You can either obtain personas via shuffle (you are given cards at then end of the battle if you meet specific requirements) or fusion. When you fuse personas, you can combine personas to make a new one though some require an item... and your player level must be the same or higher of the persona you're trying to invoke. This leads to...

Obssession Reason # 2: Levelling-up
- At first its really hard to level up. This requires a large amount of patience and commitment to finish. I am at level 75 and I have been playing for 115 hrs and 21 minutes and have explored up to Floor 254. Its getting kinda boring so I mostly like the "dating part."

Obssession Reason #3: Social Links and Event scenes
- Personas strengths and fusion depends on your social links or relationships with different kinds of people. Each arcana has a social link with a total of ten levels each. If you manage to max their levels out, you establish an unbreakable bond with them. They give you an item (most of them) which enable you fusion of the ultimate persona of their arcana (if you're at a high enough level). This requires hanging out or dating and giving gifts (to the girls only). You can end up with either the popular girl, the rich and hot student council presindent, the shy and gentle electronics expert, the timid and nerdy student counc... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/12126597/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/12126597/ Sat, 10 Mar 2007 04:46:49 PST *oralhygieneobssession*

- from [link]

"OHH, PLEEEASE?? It's just friendly curiosity and certainly not because I'm a psychotic serial killer who needs someone's true name in order to kill them..."- Yagami Light

- from [link]

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD?! stubborn bitch!!"- Yagami Light

"That was very rude Yagami-kun. No wonder I have more fans than you." - L/ Ryuzaki

"And stop standing so far away. It makes me look small on the page." - L/ Ryuzaki

- from [link]

"Lol, it's like a tissue box! " - L/ Ryuzaki

"AHAHAHAHA-!!! Yes! Yes, fear me you pathetic mortals! FEEEEAR!!! Now sacrifice your apples to Ryuk!!"- Ryuk

- from [link]

"Mommy? Can we give treats to the L?" - Random little girl

- from [link]

"Oh, forget it. Anyone with a name like that has suffered enough already." - Yagami Light

- from [link]

"I love halloween so much that, I have a tatoo of a pumpkin, but I can't tell you where..."- L/ Ryuzaki

- from [link]

"April 17- Light must be Kira. Today he bitch-slapped Misa and called her a whore. This sudden change over the weeks cannot be ignored. At this rate the handcuffs won't be coming off for a very, very~~~~ =spasm="- L/ Ryuzaki

"April 17 (later) Light is not Kira, hence I have removed the handcuffs PERMANENTLY. Signed, L" - L/Ryuzaki

]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/12063521/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/12063521/ Mon, 05 Mar 2007 06:15:43 PST
[Rant=self-pity+laziness]

While I'm trying to do my assignment I decided to rant here instead for self-therphy...

Summer has always been my favorite time of the year (even if it gets insanely hot here sometimes >.> because it's the only time I could really do everything I wanted to do (ex. let my ass sleep on the couch and watch anime all day) but not anymore.

Uhh... The beach? Of course I go there when I have time (No matter how water snake infested the beach is *shivers*)~ but lately I haven't been able to and this is why:

As not many of you know, I'm in college. Incoming 3rd year actually. As luck would have it, I just had to enroll at the school wherein summer classes are mandatory. Hey, don't tell me the line the profs always say, "We didn't choose you, you chose us." Can it please. I was coerced to. Bleah. XP The only "vacation" time I'll get is a measely 1 week (and it's holy week, mind you). How do you expect me to do all the things I wanted to do for a year in just a week??? *SPLODE!*

Yes, I know I'm not a kid anymore and mom sez that summer is just for kids but...!!! I still want a break! You can't believe how stressful a nursing student's life can be. Everyday we have to put up with unbelievably severe profs and their inability to tell time and their lack of any form of concern for their students, speeding cars that will squish you like a pancake, weird looking people who look like they're snatchers or drug addicts or both, and mountains of assignments and research. If you make a mistake, you're dead meat. I'm not joking. I'd be dead right now if only my mother would let me. A poor girl can only take so much! T.T This is so unfair... Othere courses get vacations so why not us!?

Please don't tell me I only have 4 more semesters to go... Waaah... Being in that place wherein you battle for your pride, dignity, and self-worth as a human being, I just don't see any reason for staying. Minus the fact that a certain SOMEONE hates my guts and my mother wants me to finish there, I can't find anything fun anymore. Not my friends or classmates or the "prestige" of belonging to the "cream of the crop" matters anymore. I need to get out but shifting is not an option. It was instilled in me, "death rather than expulsion." Hey, at least when I die, I die as a student nurse not as a dropout. Horrible to be remembered for if you ask meh. T.T

*sighs* So I'll just stay here... in my little corner in the world... praying that I get into a coma so I can finally sleep at last. Heck~ If I'm lucky, I might dream of the deep blue sea with a vast azure sky~ *yawns and curls up into a ball* skimpy bikinis not included.

[/Rant]

]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/11228367/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/11228367/ Thu, 28 Dec 2006 22:41:51 PST
I've been thinking... Does this purpose choose us or is it the other way around? Not a single day goes by without me thinking of the answer to that.

My life is boring and empty. Day in and day out, it's the same. Since the day I was able to think, I allowed myself to be carried away by the will of other people thinking that it's the only thing to do. My parents' wishes especially. They've told me countless of times what I should or shouldn't do and for as long as I can remember, I didn't complain. My life is already dull and boring so why pursue something I that's not to their liking? I thought, "Maybe, by doing everything they want, I'd feel satisfied with myself because they're happy with me... that I might accomplish something." But I was wrong, up to now, I couldn't see the fulfillment they said I have achieved. Awards, praises, and their gifts didn't give me any joy at all. In the end, I'm still empty and wasted.

Another told me to find myself a dream that I would pursue. I've thought about it and tried my best to go forward even though I'm not sure what I wanted.

I moved on to what others wanted most in the world, love. In the books and magazines I've read, the many stories of people who have found meaning in loving another person gave me hope. As the stories said, they fulfilled their dreams with those people they loved. I tried but didn't feel satisfied with it. Sure, the feeling of bliss was nice because you have someone who loves you and you love that person in return. Deep down, I knew that the person I loved isn't the one who can give my dull existence meaning. Goodbyes were said promising to meet again even though we knew that we'll never see each other again. So I went back to who I was before him. I went back to doing the things I love.

There's aren't a lot of things that I love. I could count them using my fingers namely music, writing, and art.

I admit I don't believe in my capabilities on those three. My mother, who thinks only the best for her child, told me that they're all just "hobbies" that I picked up. They will never be of any use to me in the "real world" that I'm struggling to fit in to. Yet another crush to my poor, useless, soul.

Even though I said I have no faith in them, I couldn't just abandon them and completely be my mother's mindless doll. Those three, especially art, made me feel somewhat alive. I experienced genuine happiness whenever I drew. So I made up my mind, the purpose I was looking for was to draw. Draw every emotion I felt without minding what other people might say.

My decision was reached not by my own will. I'm actually a coward who can't make up her mind. I decided this thanks to a very special friend. I thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart.

Alone I know I can't do it but with you, I know that someday , with your help I can finally grasp my dream with these two hands that lay before me.

Thank you my friend, for giving me the courage to pursue what others might think is just a "hobby" even though it is actually my dream. I thank you my friend for never leaving me despite the times we've drifted apart. I thank you my friend for putting up with me because I know I can be so difficult sometimes even if we haven't fought each other yet (and I hope that day will never come). Thank you for showing me what I want to do. Thank you very much for giving my life meaning. Thank you, Ria.

Thus concludes my most meaningful journal entry. Thank you so much for reading it.

]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10863614/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10863614/ Mon, 27 Nov 2006 02:37:45 PST )

I'm really really happy my close friends are coming this sunday to eat at my place (even if my high school friends aren't coming coz of "school" they say... >.> ). I feel kind of embarrassed... I know turning 18 is a big deal but I'm not having any formal party in some swanky 5 star hotel. All we're gonna do is cruise the mall, play a few games, then maybe do some karaoke or DDR at my house. Totally below the standards and hopes of my aunts. You guys know already what happened more than a year ago. So, to my friends, sorry talaga a! I promise to make it up next year when we finally return to our normal lives. I admit, part of me is really bummed out I can't have the party I planned but then if you guys will celebrate it with me, I know it's not so bad. It's just me, getting older and you guys teasing me about it. Same old.

Things I'm gonna miss when I turn 18 - The legal age *gulp*

- My innocence and childhood
- Asking my parents for almost everything
- Doing "bad" things but then the grown-ups let it slide coz I'm just a "kid."
- Nappy time (that was years ago but, oh well!)
- My worry-free days
- The times I don't have to worry about appearances, peer pressure, etc. coz the only thing that mattered that time was... what did matter back then? o.o
- All the experiences and memories I've gone through to get here (I gotta remember them though... )

Gah. That's the only things I can think about right now. >.>

]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10783613/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10783613/ Sun, 19 Nov 2006 23:20:26 PST )

Darn scanner!!! What is wrong with you!? Aren't you happy that I'm finally using you now!? GRR...!!! *kicks scanner*

It's so unfair... How come when I finally got Adobe PS CS2 my scanner's doing this to me!?!?!?!!?!? *gonk* Don't you want to nurture my artistic growth??? WAAAAAAHHHHH!!! *lovehate*

You know, just recently, I finally felt like I'm a nurse. There's just so much to study, so much to practice, and so little time to do things I want like drawing for example. My life right now feels so weird... It's like I don't really feel like myself anymore...

Ha! So emo... Anyway, I don't think I can post drawings for now. One reason is my scanner, second is school's killing my internet life, and third... Uhh... I'll think of something later...

Btw, my birthday is less than a month away. Ria, tell me what you guys wanna do on my birthday. I can't make up my mind e... ehehehehe...

Back to posting!!!

]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10695296/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10695296/ Sat, 11 Nov 2006 22:43:26 PST
I can't believe that I survived the 1st week of the 2nd sem. @_@ Even if my friends aren't with me most of the time I guess it's okay. I just have to try my best without them because I just realized that we'll eventually take different paths and that time is now. Please wish me luck!

Last friday, my dad left to go back to Saudi. He got his old job back (Thank God!) and things are starting to look better. This sem I got my own books!!! xD Mom and Dad promised me all the things that they couldn't get me last year so I'm really excited!

My birthday's coming up soon but I don't think I'll have a party. I'm planning to cook some Carbonara for my classmates and go out with my friends. Do you think that's a good idea? xD

Zomg. I forgot some things I wanted to type. Oh well! *goes to huggle her new books*

Btw, I drew some new stuff but I think I'll upload them next weekend when I get the CD from Ria.

Something extra, the scripts for episode 1 and 2 of Yu-gi-oh: The Abridged Series by LittleKuriboh from youtube

Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (Episode 1)
by: LittleKuriboh

Yami: Yu-gi-oh! was filmed before a live studio audience...

Yugi: Hey Joey. Earth to Joey! Hey are you in there? It's your move.
Joey: Sorry Yug. Doing this brooklyn accent makes it difficult to concentrate on card games.
Tristan: I know what you mean, my voice is pretty crazy too. I'm thinking about changing it.
Yugi: Btw, my grandpa has a super rare card.
Tristan: Groovy!
Joey: Ei badabing!
Seto: Rare card! That sounds vague enough to be the blue eyes white dragon and since I'm a child billionare in charge of a huge gaming company I obviously have nothing better to do than to check it out.

Yugi: Hey gramps can we please see your super rare awesome chocately fudge coated mega super card?
Grandpa: I don't see why not. Here it is, the blue eyes white dragon.
Joey: That's the least threatening name for a monster I've ever heard. What kind of of muk would want a card like that?
Seto: I'm here for your blue eyes old man and I won't take no for an answer. Now give it to me...
Grandpa: No.
Seto: Curses! Foiled again! I'm gonna go hire some thugs to kidnap you now. I'm a billionare so nobody will even think about pressing charges.
Grandpa: That Kaiba kid needs to get laid.
Tristan: Biiig time.

Yugi: Hello? Game shop.
Seto: I kidnapped your grandpa Yugi and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself.
Yugi: Wait. Who is this?

Yugi: GRANDPA! Are you okay!?
Grandpa: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured.
Seto: That's right and now... Watch this!
Yugi: Grandpa's special super rare awesome super card!
Joey: What the heck did you do that for?
Seto: So that it could never be used against me.
Yugi: In that case, why don't just tear up every card in the whole world?
Seto: Shut up and duel me.
Yugi: Don't worry gramps, I'll win this duel with your deck.
Grandpa: Wait... wait a minute, I've been injured so you're going to steal my deck and go play cards with your arch rival?
Yugi: Pretty much.
Grandpa: No wonder your parents are never around.
Tea: Gather around everyone and I'll mark us with a special sign.
Joey: Uhh... Tea? Ain't not to nothing but ain't this permanent marker?
Tea: Whoa... Whoops.
Joey: Why are you even carrying that thing in the first place?
Tea: I'm a kleptomaniac. I stole it from school.
Tristan: Hey...!!! My wallet's missing!
Tea: Kaiba took it!

Yami: It's time to duel!
Seto: Wait did your testicles just drop in the last five seconds or something? What the heck happened to your voice?
Yami: HOLY RA! REAL MONSTERS!
Seto: Actually, they're just super advanced holograms created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a children's card game.
Yami: Okay seriously, you've got to be f*bleep!!!*king kidding me. Who'd waste all that money on something like that?
Seto: The guy who's going to beat your pasty pharoah butt with three blue eyes white dragons, that's who.
Yami: Wait a minute did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
Seto: Yeah so?
Yami: That's against the rules isn't it?
Seto: Screw the rules I have money! Now draw your last pathetic card, Yugi so I can finish you!
Yami: My grandpa's deck HAS no pathetic cards, Kaiba... except maybe the kuriboh... but it also has this! The unstoppable EXODIA!
Seto: AHHH!!! EXODIA!!! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!! Nobody's ever been able to summon him!
Yami: Really? Is... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10611143/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10611143/ Sat, 04 Nov 2006 07:15:22 PST )

...It's been 3 years since I've felt like this... Yes... I'm feeling obssessed agan. @_@

and I started to work together in making mangas 3 years ago. Both of us were in highschool back then. Now we have a new project. It doesn't have a title yet but you can read pages 1 to 12. Just search for it in her gallery.

It feels great to do something again especially with you, Ria.

If any of have any ideas for the tittle, please contact me or Ria. It'll be greatly appreciated and if we can, we'll give you a prize! (Most probably a drawing that you like).

Btw, 2nd sem starts on monday so I won't be on much. I'll miss you guys. <3

]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10556346/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10556346/ Mon, 30 Oct 2006 06:42:47 PST
- No classes. This day marks the end of Ramadan so it's a declared national holiday. Mom and Dad suddenly decided to clean the house. Again.

Sportsfest Day 3 (or 2) Wednesday- October 25, 2006

- Sportsfest resumed. Today is the fun games competition. Since it's scheduled at 1pm, I stayed at starbucks until the mall opened at 11am. My dad stayed with me the whole day. My friend Aya's absent today because it's the death anniversary of her father (the one her mom married, not her biological dad). Same as always, went to the arcade to waste money on PIU. Found my friend Carlos and we hit one of the nipa huts to chat until they called us for the event. It rained pretty hard so we didn't hear the announcement. Missed the event. Misery. I also found out he's migrating to Canada. T.T

Sportsfest Day 4 (or 3) Thursday- October 26, 2006

- This whole day was kinda like a blur. @_@ I knew I watched the cheer competition and I can't remember anything after that.

Nursing Night (Sportsfest Day 5!?!?!?!) Friday- October 27, 2006

- Totally spaced out. Almost got late for the event. Today I decided to experiment with the eyeliner my mother gave me. Everyone was telling me, "Rawk on!!!" ...Whokay. So the bands I really listened to were join the club, mojofly, and of course, CALLALILY. ZOMG. I touched Kean Cipriano's hand!!! *fan girl squeals* He's the lead vocalist of Callalily. If you don't know them just search a video of their hit song "Stars." Dad said it's so degrading for me to be all giddy just because of that. Ha. Whatever. I'm still happy.

Deliberation of Grades [Monday]- October 30, 2006

- I was expecting that I was gonna fail but then it turns out I passed! Huzzah! I know I'm supposed to be happy and more stuff but then I'm not. One of my friends, Paolo, failed and now he's gonna transfer to another school and another course. He IMed everyone saying thanks for the time we shared with him and all the help we gave him. I wish I can still see him again. Too bad we became close just a few months ago. Enrollment starts on Nov. 2 and classes start on Nov. 6. We got re-shuffled and now I'm in Section H and my friend Aya is on Section G. I just hope that my schedule's okay. Heard that sections F-J usually have lousy scheds. Oh bother.

]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10483939/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10483939/ Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:28:31 PDT .>.

Same as last year, first day's the opening ceremony, lotsa poeple late, lots of them all loud and crazy swingingt their balloons everywhere, batches cheered for their team and tried to out cheer the other, and a lot of them wanted to bail (like me). You can't blame me. It's freakin hot, I have nowhere to sit, I'm tired, thirsty and my friends are getting mood swings. Ugh.

So spent the rest of the morning at starbucks with a bunch of people from my batch that decided to play hooky. I came back just before lunchtime and got stuck for two longs hours. Sought sanctuary under a nipa hut my classmates occupied in exchange for my umbrella and an interview why I'm not with Aya and the obvious reality that I'll probably be kicked out of school. Made up with Aya then decided to spend the afternoon at Timezone. Ha. Pump it up zero has lotsa songs Pump it Up Exceed 2 doesn't have but still, it's several levels below it due to the lousy dance pad and it's actually brand new. o.o

Now I have, "an alteration in normal body movement due to pain and discomfort located at the lower limb's calcaneal." In short, I can't stand much right now let alone walk. I know my nursing diagnosis sucks, give me time to work on it.

Didn't see my bestest guy friend in teh whole wide world today. He got stuck at scrabble match. Still got a really nice and comforting message from him. I wuv him so I'll kick his ass in fun games on thursday

________________________________________ ________________________________________ __________________________________

Main reason of my frustration may be the fact that it's supposed to be sem break but instead they decided to take it. I really really need this break away from everything so I can recharge my batteries and begin life anew in a new environment.

Gah. I need to sleep for a few hundred years.

]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10375692/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10375692/ Fri, 13 Oct 2006 01:50:59 PDT _< *stabs with spork*

I have a lot of stuff in my head right now so forgive me if it makes no sense.

- I may get kicked out of school by next sem. Anaphysio just so hard for me but the rest of my grades are okay if not great. Mom says it's okay if I fail but I dunno... I've never failed a subject before and what hurts is that I really did my best. It's hard to accept this... and maybe, I might do "that." No one can stop me!!!! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

- Finals have started and so far, I've been getting less and less sleep. One of my profs quit coming to class bout 3 weeks ago and now another prof said he's just gonna flunk all of us. WTF!? Should we take this or should I complain to faculty (Or punch him straight in the face? What..??? It works too. >.> I know that my classmates have been really noisy and then almost no one listens to him but that's no reason to boycott our class and the other classes!!! (I used to listen to him even if he was so boring and he barely teached but ever since he totally bitched on me I stopped. HA.)

- Sportsfest week on the 23rd-26thand Nursing night on the 27th. At least I get to have a good time before I go.

- Sembreak after that. I'll have time to do the manga with Ria then visit my ancestor's graves.

- My grandma came home from the US. She has rectal cancer and will die very soon.

- My cousin will give birth by January meaning my grandma's REALLY gonna die soon. (Happens in the family. Someone dies then someone's born after like what happened with me. My grandpa died before I was born).

- My dad got his job back (but was demoted a level back. Still okay though). He'll be leaving this month.

- I've done lots of drawings and even colored some but I can't submit them coz I gots no dsl at me compy... *ish sad*

- I'll be 18 by December~ Woot~!!!

ANYWAY!!! I WANT MY DSL BACK!!! I HATE PLDT!!! >< *dies*

]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10098406/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10098406/ Sun, 17 Sep 2006 06:39:36 PDT
*sighs* and my PE grade depended on it... Waaah.... Goodbye A+...

So after the game, my friends and I decided to eat out (originally, to celebrate if our school won... >.>. My gawsh!!! Everywhere you go there's a lot of people. Total invasion of private breathing place. I felt a few hands touch my back and... Ugh.... Anyway, the train station's jampacked to so we decided to ride a jeep till we reached C-point. Good gravy! Of all the jeeps we could've picked, we got on one that's playing these bizarre songs I've never heard of before and people there were smoking! @_@ The smoke's so thick I could barely breathe but we had to stick with it. No effing way would I go down the dimly lit street crawling with snatchers and insane exhibitionists! >_< GUUUUURRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

*rant over. Here's the part bout Thai Food*

So this time, I decided to let my friends choose where were eating (while keeping in mind my meager allowance). Martin choose Oody's. Since Aya and I haven't eaten there yet, we agreed. I was a little embarassed we took so long to order... but there was no one in line so I guess it was okay and it was really close to closing time. I chose one of their combos... I think it was the chicken dumbo... took a bite... and... I tell ya, it's a really different taste. Everything there tasted either spicy or sweet. I barely tasted anything salty (which I love esp with meat) there... or even sour!!! I took a taste of Aya's order, breaded porkchop and jasmine rice. The pork's totally tasted like pepper, hmm... pepper... and more pepper! The rice was spicy but I loved it. The two gave up on the rice so Aya gave it to me~ Then came her dessert, strawberry ice mountain (Martin had the water chestnuts, but I don't like chestnuts. Blegh!). I took a bit. Bout 1/8th of my spoon, and it was really sweet, like I just ate spoonfuls of sugar. @_@ Oh my... My tastebuds were really in shock... I don't think I'll go back there... even if the rice was the only thing I liked. Give me Jap and Chinese food. I'll eat it! Just not thai food anymore or else you'll hear something you don't wanna hear. A pissed off Flip's very colorful language. Yes... Very colorful. ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10016730/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10016730/ Sat, 09 Sep 2006 07:26:41 PDT )At first, I thought it was lame. Rich and pretty boys fawning over normal middle-class girl... *yawn* How meteor garden (or Hana Yori Dango)... I would've stopped if not for it's awesome opening song "Sakura Kiss" by Chieko Kawabe. Check it out~ ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9681472/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9681472/ Thu, 10 Aug 2006 17:51:34 PDT ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9360213/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9360213/ Thu, 13 Jul 2006 00:54:09 PDT ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9308957/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9308957/ Sat, 08 Jul 2006 05:19:35 PDT
Whenever we ask the 3rd year students bout how their classes are (when they were in their 2nd year) they'd all yell, "TOXIC!!!" while flailing their arms into the air.

(It was funny and cute at first but then as it got old, it got weird. >.> Oh my... I wonder why they act that way... Are all students like that after they spend at least a year or so at UERMMC? Will I act that way too after some time...??? O_O What the heck am I doing here anyway!? MOOOMMMMYYYY!!! Just kidding~)

Fast forward to this week: I barely slept more than an hour for the past days studying for quizzes that are 100+ items. The teachers deliberately put major exams on the same day. They gave us ton of reading materials that we should finish in one night. I'm not talking just one but 2 or more!!! >_< They tell you that this and that aren't included in the test but they include it anyway!!! Why!?!?! I studied so hard but I think it didn't do any good!!! Now I'm afraid I'm gonna fail... I hate failing!!! I've never had a failing grade in my entire life!!! ZOMG!!! THEY WE'RE RIGHT!!!! MY UPPERCLASSMEN WERE RIGHT!!! *flails arms around*

WAAAAAH!!!

Other news:
- My grandma's coming home on Tuesday after staying at CA for more than a year~ My cus Lani who's bout my age will go with her and her mom. Grrr...~ I wish we can hang-out like we did 3 years ago when they went here but I have school... *BOOO!!!*
- Get well soon Lai-ne!!! WAAH!!! I miss you!!! (Grabe... May kukwento ako sayo... Nakakatakot... @_@) ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9238976/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9238976/ Sat, 01 Jul 2006 05:32:10 PDT Mood:
Weird thing I said today: "..." *stares at people while they're acting stupid*

*sighs*

I went to mass bout 2 hours ago. Infront of the church, Julie's bakeshop was filming a commercial. Btw, Julie's bakeshop is a famous bakery here. In fact, anywhere you go here you'll see a Julie's bakeshop. Meeh... I don't like their bread. It's too buttery and greasy for my taste. XP

People and their crazy fandom of celebs. Since I was able to think for myself, I never really understood why the hell people flock to these celebrities. Are they god? Do they grant miracles? Can they walk on water? Really... It's so silly for anyone to fawn over them. They're just people like us. Sure they're on TV. So what? I don't really understand... and most of them act like frikkin' primadonnas. It's sickening. They act all high and mighty while they step on people. Oh yeah~ That's showbiz's fave. Whenever these celebs get into fights, they try to blow it outta proportion so that these stars will take each other on TV. Joy. That's my mother's most awaited show on Sundays.

Crap. I'm feeling really tired lately... and I don't know what I wanna do. Everything's so boring... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9195170/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9195170/ Tue, 27 Jun 2006 01:53:17 PDT Mood:
Weird thing I said today: "OH CRAP!!! WATER CANONS!!!!" *flees for dear life*

There was a rally near school... AND THEY DIDN'T TELL US!!! GRR!!! T'was a good thing we got home before casualties started (if any, but here in the Philippines, it's almost always included). I better check in the 6 o'clock news later.

So anyway, I got a new CD today!!! *huggles, kisses, wipes off drool, and caressess CD* It's a burn CD of some of the songs I've been dying to get since I got my I-pod~ I used to have most of the songs but eh.... They disappeared from my compy. T.T

So here's the list:

- All downhill from here by New Found Glory
- Until the day I die by Story of the Year
- So Sick by Ne-Yo
- Pwede ba by Soapdish (funny... I typed "Soapdick" O.o)
- Gemini by Spongecola
- Helena by My Chemical Romance
- Nobela by Join the Club
- Ever After by Bonnie Bailey
- My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne
- Pieces of me by Ashlee Simpson
- Narda by Kamikazee
- Just the Girl- Click 5
- Behind these Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson
- Since You've been Gone by Kelly Clarkson
- My Humps by The Black Eyed Peas
- White Houses by Vanessa Carlton
- Love you Down by Inoj
- Sabihin mo na by Top Suzara

Lemme add something... I have one of the best teacher in the world!!! He's my Philippine History teacher and he's taught me a lot of valuable things about my heritage and my country... I never thought I'd actually love my country like this... I won't post it here because, it might cause a lot of trouble for me. ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9083259/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9083259/ Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:29:14 PDT Mood:
Weird thing I said today: "Losing money is the 2nd most painful thing for me!!! "

I just lost 150 pesos today!!! If I find whoever took it I'm gonna !!!!!!!

...Damn.

School started this Wednesday but I still have some free time mainly because it's a new sem. I got to see my friends again and all is well. I got them involved in Pump it Up as well but they like the slot machine thingamajing better. Hehe.

Finally!!! I know how to color using the compy!!! Praise M!L and her amazing ability to feel satisfaction and happiness over the littlest thing!!!

I forgot whatever I really wanna write here. Imagine that. ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9015920/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9015920/ Fri, 09 Jun 2006 07:01:21 PDT Mood:
Weird thing I said today: "DUUUURRRHHH!!! *bites cellphone* Shabe ku ngah eh warah akohng lohd!!! Khulet!!! "

Let's leave my financial problem alone for a while and move on to other things.

I'm pretty sure I've told most of my friends that I attended an animation workshop with Lai-ne and Khate this summer at AGP (Anime/Animation Guild Philippines Inc.) conveniently located at Stop & Shop which is totally near my house (I can walk from my house to there but since I still had some money I took a jeepney ride. Why? My father will kill me [meaning I can't leave the house till I die] if I walked all the way and I'm scared of snatchers and slashers. ). Hero channel sent me an e-mail about it and I grabbed the chance since I wanted to make my last summerbreak productive. So it started in the 1st week of April. Most people there were nice (in the beginning. Most guys turned out to be total ego-trippers *coughAmpnesscoughAlmightyf@gcough* who can't appreciate other people's art style other than their own. There's also this girl that we all love... She denies the existence of other people and casts herself as supreme ruler!!! Her loud, booming voice made my ears bleed. ) and at first I thought that I am really learning something. Lai-ne said she did learn stuff but not me. I really felt like I wasted all of my money there. The only motivation I had was I can hang out with my friends at the mall before and after the session. So lately after they have initiated us in their secret society of black magic and demon worship-err (joke!!! ) in their group, they revealed to us their plan: THEY'RE NOW AN ANIMATION COMPANY AND THEY'LL BE THE FIRST ONE TO SHOW AN ANIMATION THAT'S TOTALLY FILIPINO!!!

(Since I think that I'm still a member, I won't spill the details of the project. )

Whew! So after all the pointless stuff I said, we we're assigned as scriptwriters (because: 1. the head said, "Not to be rude but, I haven't seen your works yet." [Riight... So what do you call the drawings I showed you countless of times before then? Dirt? ] If you don't listen to what he said and just look at his eyes and facial expression he's saying, "God! Who does these losers think they are!? Work on the project!? Pfft!!! They'll destroy my beloved's masterpiece... her legacy!!! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 2. We're not "good" enough just because we're younger and we can never compare to them. 3. We totally don't have a chance. Maybe if we ate a live chicken and do cartwheels across the room they might consider us... slighty.) and it's cool because we don't have much time to go to their school anyway. The head told us this too, "We're not forciing you... [What he's really saying: "Get outta here!!! >_< *rage* losers!!!"]" Oh no~ I am beyond giving up! He insulted my skills...!!! That's the worse anyone can do to me. (Ask Lai-ne on how bad I can get mad... and that's just my words and thoughts. Yes~ I did throw away my rust-covered scalpel... No... I won't stab anyone no matter how annoying they are.)

Meetings are really everyday but there are times that we're required to attend. My 'rents have no prob with that but Lai-ne's are getting annoyed. Her mom said that they're just using us for "free labor." (Note: Sure they said that we'll be paid but when exactly? )

Hmm... She may be right!!! I mean... why would they even include us when we're outsiders? Animation's no piece of cake with rainbow-colored sprinkles on top, dearies. They need all the help they can get. I tell ya, being there feels like I'm in a parallel dimension. Everything feels different and all my perkiness is being sucked dry. Even the air feels heavier. But I'm thankful to Sir Evan. He makes it bearable. He's one of the reasons I still go there sometimes. Among everyone, he's the... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9003938/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/9003938/ Wed, 07 Jun 2006 22:14:40 PDT
I know I wrote about our financial crisis last May 1 but it's happening again. My dad just lost his part-time job again and his job offers are getting less and less as time passes. Mom's salary is just enough to pay the bills and now we don't know how we're gonna get money for food and school tuition fees.

It's funny but I don't really feel suicidal/worried like I did last time. I wonder why? Did I accept the fact that we're perpetually broke? I still have 3 years left of school until I graduate. I want to get a part-time job but what can I do? If I did, my academics will suffer and it's no piece of cake to survive in my school. I know my parents won't let me stop because they need me to graduate as soon as possible.

My wallet's totally empty now too. All of my savings are gone. I'm still thankful that the air I breathe is free. Things won't get better... I just know it.

Martin told me that it's everybody's problem. Everybody? Who's everybody? Is he also talking about our politicians who're constantly leeching off our people especially the poor ones like us? Maybe he's right. I don't have a right to whine and cry nor can I blame anybody.

*sighs* I wanna be like a normal teenager again... All they worry about is their appearance or some guy they like...

God, if you're really out there... Can you please enlighten me? Did I do something bad that's why I'm being punished like this? If so, why not kill me and spare my family? I know I'm the only bad person in my family so please leave them be. I can take whatever punishment in hell you'll give me... Dismembered, fed to snakes and rats, thrown into burning coals, anything... Just please, don't make my loved ones suffer anymore. ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8820162/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8820162/ Fri, 19 May 2006 20:33:32 PDT ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8692891/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8692891/ Sat, 06 May 2006 17:23:57 PDT Right Lai-ne? )
Mood: and
Weird thing I said today: "I feel lonely right now... Or maybe it's just gas... O.o"

Since I've put off writing for a while this journal's gonna be pretty jam pack with lots of random stuff...

It's my goddaughter Micee's 2nd b-day!!! I don't know if we're gonna go to Pampanga to attend her B-day. Mom said we don't have any way to get there and commuting is not an option.

I went to Aira's 7th b-day party yesterday at Kowloon House. I met Andre~ My mom's goddaughter's son. I swear he's too cute!!! He's only 10 months old but he's very active~ It seems like he loves women with long hair. He kept pulling my hair and he won't let go. Still cute~ I carried him all afternoon. I don't think I'll be a mother for a long time... It's fun but still exhausting~

Maybe there was something in the fried rice... Or maybe the cake... People started talking about my debut... which is 7 months away... My 'rents decided to do it there~ Yeah like my cuz 5 years ago. My mom's goddaughter and Aira's mom kept talking about dresses and the Cottilyon (sp?)... WHOA~!!! Me and a dress!? O_O But it is my 18th b-day... I have 18 candles (My close girl friends and female cuzs) but my prob is the 18 roses (Close guy friends and male cuzs)... I can only think of 7 people... and 1 of them I'm not sure if he'll come... (Idiot!!! I hate him!!! >_< Darn!!! Why is it that my other guy friends are OL and they live halfway around the world!!! I guess my partner would be my cousin Don-don... I don't have a boyfriend yet... Gotta remember to ask him... Bribe him if I must... If all else fails I will use blackmail... One last thought on the debut thing... Do we really have to ballroom dance? Can't we just dance DDR or Pump it up!!! ? XD

During the ride home mom said, "I'll allow you to marry when you're 26 or older..."

Whoa. ._.

"How bout 25?"

I joked.

"Fine. 25 or older it is!"

Marriage? I haven't thought of that for a long time... 1st guy I wanted to marry bailed on me, now what makes her think I believe I'm ever gonna get married?

I have 5 drawings to make. All orders from people IRL and on gaia. Oh make that six. *groans* One was more than a week overdue. One's... 3 months overdue... Gaaah!!! Gotta get my act together!!! :gonk:

Decided to do a topic at gaia... Bout childhood memories...

[link]

^ Check that link out.

God!!! People!!! Stop posting already!!! (Joke~!!! ^_~ ) It seems like they enjoy my thread very much... and that as well...

Something funny a guy posted there... (names are removed... for obvious reasons...)

"You poor child! Nearly killed by a lynch-mob of demon fowl ..
Apparently we're cursed to be forever hated by any species of barnyard animal .. O_O"

Something funny a girl posted there...

"To: Mom and Dad
Bud sniffed my underwear. It tickled.

....Does that even need a memory attached to it!? xD (Bud is our cat, btw)"

She said my avi glitched~ FINALLY!!!... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8670641/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8670641/ Thu, 04 May 2006 10:11:18 PDT Mood: ,
Weird thing I said today: "Smell the prettyness... Shmell it!!! "

Just a small journal update. So this week is the 1st ever BSOP (Big Suites of Polls) prom and I'm one of the volunteer artists. I decided to do [Staples]'s portrait. ZOMG!!! I can't believe it!!! He liked it!!! He even PMed me!!! *faints* (He's one of the people I look up to in gaia and also one of my faves!!! )

This is enough reason to really learn digital art coloring!!! ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8667617/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8667617/ Thu, 04 May 2006 00:10:36 PDT

because it iz what it iz..... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8666170/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8666170/ Wed, 03 May 2006 20:17:27 PDT Mood:
Weird thing I said today: "O_O I was gay!? And I tried to hit a people with a rubber dildo!? What's more, I pinched policemen's asses? *faints*"

Got it from bluebella. www..isgay.com

Nothing much, just wanted to write down my new obssession: Pump it up!!! It's kinda like DDR but it's more fun!!! XD I tried it yesterday (First time) and I didn't fail!!! Yay ME!!! XD XD XD My fave song is Valentin by BOA.

So dad got a temporary job yesterday. That at least means that things are getting better just like what Mel said. ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8638938/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8638938/ Mon, 01 May 2006 07:58:09 PDT Mood:
Weird thing I said today: "Why is it that I always think of death as the only solution!?"

Okay so people won't allow me to die. I want the closest thing to that: a coma/standstill.

I'm not writing this journal so that you'll pity me. No... Of course I hate it when people pity me. My pride is too high.

Anyway, here's what happened. We're now in even deeper financial debt than before. As I told most of my friends, my dad quit his job at Saudi more than a year now. (It drove me crazy... yep. It really did. Teachers called my parents and they were really worried.) I had a talk wth my mom last night and she told me everything. Dad was never gonna get another high paying job like before. Never... Heck! His savings are all gone now and we've been living off my mom's measely salary for these past months. My mom almost cried last night as she told me. She couldn't tell any of her siblings about out predicament. She said my dad's gonna look like a loser then and fuck my dad's relatives. Like they'll help. Pfft!!! It's like saying the Philippines is world respected country. I felt like my whole world got sucked into oblivion. Apocalypse is getting closer. How the heck are we gonna survive now? I'm in college and my sister's starting highschool soon. I wanna get a job but they won't allow me and almost all of my free time is for my hospital duty.

I hate my father's misplaced pride. He quit his job because of that. WHY DIDN'T HE EVEN THINK OF HIS CHILDREN'S WELFARE!? What's hurts more is that his fucking boss left after he quit. He said he'll definitely get another job in NZ. Sure. Okay. He didn't get it. Fine... He tried else where. He failed. He did have some job offers but the salary is too low. It's the same as the salary he can get here. God... I'm going crazy... I don't know what'll become of us now... I wish he should've waited until I graduated... It's only for 3 more years... 3 FUCKING YEARS!!! >_< I don't know what's there to live for... It's not gonna get better... It'll continue to get worse... I don't even have enough money to buy net cards anymore. This may be my last journal post for a while... If by some miracle my dad gets a job again.

I better find a blade now so I can start cutting my worries away... Isn't dark warm blood a sight to see when it's coming out of an newly opened wound?

So this will be goodbye for a long. long. long, long time. If I manage to survive this nightmare. ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8628011/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8628011/ Sun, 30 Apr 2006 06:29:55 PDT What I felt: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Weird thing I said today: "When I thought I lost those messages, a part of me died... a BIG part. That's bout the only thing I have left from him... his messages."

Yep. I'm not kidding. I felt all of those in an instant. My heart felt like it fell down from the 100th floor of a building.

In one of my stupid moments, I decided to uninstall YM then install it again because it was hanging all the time. After uninstalling, I just realized that Chester's messages were still there!!! I swear... I almost went mad.

I cried really hard just thinking that those messages got deleted. Our chats when we got together, fought, made up, goofed around, and then eventually broke up were there!!! Damn!!! I never felt more stupid... It's like a part of me died... The only things that remind me that he existed and the proof that we did love each other... gone. I swear... I felt like dying. Call me stupid right now if you want. I don't care.

I texted Lai-ne about it. She assured me that they'll still be there even if I unistalled YM. It can't be avoided. A large percentage is that it's gone. I told myself again and again it must be for the best. I can't continue dwelling in the past... but still... it meant everything to me... The times we spent together... Even if they we're brief... It's still important to me.

Just let me clarify something, I am over him. It's jus... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8606133/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8606133/ Thu, 27 Apr 2006 20:22:49 PDT Mood: and
Weird thing I said today: "As I said I'll do almost anything for my bestfriends... but I won't give you my heart or my stomach... I need them to live. (whahaha~ Corny!!!"

I'm so happy!!! I finally ended my deal with Kosai and he really loved my drawing!!! <3 <3 <3 I made a new friend today and I'll be happy to draw for him again.

I got my Mochi Puppy at gaia too!!! His name is Cyrus after Lai-ne's character Cyrus (Baby~ Wahahahahaha!!!) and it's all thanks to Kosai!!! I'm so happy!!! I 'm inspired to draw again!

I may not be as good as all those people that I look up too. Mine might be crappy to some but that's me. It's my style. I don't care if it's wrong or it needs a LOT of work, as long as some people appreciate it I'm happy.

^Umm... I know I'm asking much but when I start being whiney about my art again please remind me that I said this okay? Thanks!!!

EDIT: He just asked me to make another one. Hope I can draw something good like last time. I really do... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8598654/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8598654/ Thu, 27 Apr 2006 05:22:24 PDT _<.

I just wanted to say thanks for all the people who added my drawings to their faves and for all the peepz who took the time to comment my drawings (especially Mel, Ria, and Lai-ne~ XD).

Nga pla guys, I promised you a drawing d ba? Sorry I didn't have the chance to draw e. I'll do it tomorrow after I get a goodnight's rest. I'm pretty sure lai-ne will like it. XD

So nyt guys and thanks also to anyone who reads my pointless blog. ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8575224/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8575224/ Mon, 24 Apr 2006 20:05:11 PDT Mood:
Weird thing/s I said today: "HOMYGAWSH!!! I will lick your pixelated goodness!!! " - To Seto (hanyou)

"I PROPOSE DISSECTION!!! FOR SCIENCE!!! " - Leo Leonardo, VGCats

I've been in the zone for the past week. Drawing, writing stuff, making inside jokes with Lai-ne, and making worthwhile topics at BSOP... Now where did all that go?

*sighs*

I tried looking at Ria's drawings again to inspire me. Nope. Nothing. I mean they're awesome and all but it didn't give me the boost I needed. I'm not blaming Ria's artworks nor am I blaming gaia marketplace's evil inflation... I've just been so out of it. Is it because it's that day tomorrow? No... I shouldn't blame that. Sheesh... I'm starting to sound like a whiney girl... Oh wait I am a girl. Gotta remember that.

I started doing avi art for peepz at gaia. So far I only have 1 customer. Kosai Avonej or Teh Kosai as he likes to call himself. Waaah!!! He wants me to color it.... but I suck at coloring... HELP!!!

Oh and if a guy reads this, I wanna ask you this: Why are guys so fixated on cows? o.o

ADDITIONAL STUFF:
-I'll be gone all day on Thursday. I'm going to Laguna (Splash Island). I might leave something totally smexy for you guys.... (Lai-ne & Ria)

EDIT:
I just ate a LOT of vienna sausages... I feel so happy right now and my sister's watching my CCS CDs. I'm gonna go now and join her~ YUKITO-SAN!!! Men with glasses are so smexy... @_@ ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8556609/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8556609/ Sun, 23 Apr 2006 01:07:46 PDT

My cousin got married yesterday. As expected, weddings are really tiring both for the couple and double for their relatives. You should see my cousin's aunt and how angry she was when people didn't follow her programme. I ran for cover to avoid sharpnels... o_o

Even if I think that weddings are just flashy competitions between the newlywed's families, I like weddings. They're still sacred to me. Heck, if people I know get married, I'd shake their hands and tell them they're really really brave and I'm really proud of them. It takes guts to get married kala nyo ba? People nowadays won't go through that. They'll just get someone, live together, and then after sometime declare themselves as wed and a family, even without kids.

*sighs*

I'm not that religious believe me. It's just sad that some traditions like weddings and haranas are almost forgotten. I don't know if it's because I'm old fashioned but I hope that at least weddings will remain sacred. Someday, I wanna get married too. To the right guy, at the right place, at the right time, and for the right reasons. *stops* ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8517817/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8517817/ Wed, 19 Apr 2006 06:10:51 PDT Mood:
Weird thing I said today: "CYRUS BABY!!! "

It's been a while since I last posted here huh? Sorry. My blogs are all over the net.Whahahaha~

Anyway, I started attending a seminar/animetion workshop with Anime Guild Philippines (Lessons cost 100 per session and is conducted by Mr. Norman. He's pretty famous and he's one of the leading pioneers in Animation in the Philippines. Remember Biker Mice from Mars? Yep. He made that!). When I first joined last, last week Wednesday, I was the only one from another school. Lai-ne was supposed to be with me but she cancelled on the last minute. >_< Sure it was weird at first. I didn't know anybody. I just sat in the end of the table while I glanced at people's art works. ****!!! Galing nila!!! I'm in awe. I didn't know that a lot of people were that good!!! They made me feel like I'm such a newb. I won't show them my drawings. Nope. Waaah!!! Know what? Even if they're really professionals, they're still very nice to me. I acted like a total idiot but still they helped me. They even made friends with me! I really enjoy my sessions there. Everyone's really nice and a bit on the crazy side too! You'll never be bored there. *thumbs up Gai-sensei Style*

Oh! They're planning on making the first Filipino animation (something that we can say is uniquely ours). By the end of the Seminar, we would've produced an animation (short. Just 30 secs to 1 minute) and you can watch that at HERO by June. Yep! I'm not kidding! Another thing, they'll be releasing an indie mag with artworks from the members. Sir Evan says he'll also include me. They'll teach me digital coloring and other techniques. I can't wait till I get better!!! :whee:

Added Stuff (Updates of my life I might forget to mention to friends. Lam nyo naman ako, madalas mawala nang walang pasabi.):
- I think I'll be gone for a week or so sometime this month. My family's going to the province.
- Congrats to my cuz Kuya Jay!!! He's getting married to his older brother's wife's sister. I want a nephew naman!!! Puro babae e!!! Natatalo na ang mga lalaki ng angkan natin!!!
- My I-pod's gonna be here in 2 days... Wahahaha!!! Give me name suggestions!!!
- I'll definitely learn how to drive this summer... *is determined*
- WILL LEARN TO COLOR DIGITALLY AND TRADITIONALLY AS IF MY PATHETIC LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!!! O_o
- Since I'll be gone, I'll submit more art. Hopefully I'll color it.
- Don't worry bout me. I'm over that person! I'm too happy to be depressed bout such a trivial thing!!! I WILL NOT LET HIM RUIN MY LIFE!!! >_< There are lots of interesting guys out there like... *bleep*
- I won't be going to SM C-point that much anymore. Mom wants me to stay at home so I'll just be online or something. Oh~ Lai-ne comes over here a lot! :whee:
- I gave up the guitar a long time ago. Don't bug me to play again. -_-# ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8248707/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/8248707/ Thu, 23 Mar 2006 17:41:21 PST Check it out if you want.

Anyway, I'm really pissed right now. I ****ing hate my classmates... They're a whole bunch of ****. I don't know what gave them the idea that they can treat us like crap. Is it because my friends and I are a bit "anti-social" coz we don't want to join their stupidity? I mean... backstabbing, bitch fights, and mindless whatevers like random acts of stupidity are soooooo much fun for them. So if you're a wee bit more decent and sane than them they'll tick you off and make you feel like you're a freak. Seriously, they act all nice, sweet, and friendly but I must warn you! Turn your back and they'll cook you alive! RAWR!!! *scary face*

Damn... College is tiring... Physically, emotionally, and even spiritually! I must be in Hell now... ]]> ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/5206875/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/5206875/ Wed, 27 Apr 2005 19:02:34 PDT ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/5198414/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/5198414/ Tue, 26 Apr 2005 19:57:05 PDT ~Azuredreamer http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/5198409/ http://Azuredreamer.deviantart.com/journal/5198409/ Tue, 26 Apr 2005 19:56:24 PDT ~Azuredreamer