http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Babyboi22&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Babyboi22 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:44:51 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7758396/ http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7758396/ Tue, 31 Jan 2006 06:02:29 PST Normally I wouldn't bore people with my day-to-day problems.....but....I need to vent. So....I won't be offended if nobody reads this-it's mearly for myself anyway. It's tuesday. My 18th birthday is on Saturday. I'm moving out of my parents house. I just told them this last night.... FUCK!!!!
....too many emotions.

I'll finish later....

~Ashley~ ]]> ~Babyboi22 http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7351765/ http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7351765/ Mon, 19 Dec 2005 05:59:26 PST
30 SECONDS by TATU
Mama, papa forgive me

Out of sight, out of mind
Out of time to decide
Do we run? should I hide
For the rest of my life

Can we fly? do we stay?
We could lose we could fail
And the more minutes take
To make planer, or mistakes

30 minutes, the blink of the night
30 minutes to alter our lifes
30 minutes to make up my mind
30 minutes to finally decide
30 minutes to whisper your name
30 minutes to shelter the blame
30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies
30 minutes to finally decide

Carousels in the sky
That we shape with our eyes
Under shade silhouettes casting
Shapes crying rain

Can we fly do I stay
We could lose, we could fail
Either way, options change
Chances fail, trains derail.

30 minutes, the blink of the night
30 minutes to all of our lifes
30 minutes to make up my mind
30 minutes to finally decide
30 minutes to whisper your name
30 minutes to show her the blame
30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies
30 minutes to finally decide

To decide, to decide to decide to decide
(repeat until fade)



Hmmm.....am I alone in this? Or are there people standing beside me??? I definately know who I *want* by my side!!! Yet...can we merge our paths???? Or are we on two diverging ones????

ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID by TATU
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
This is not enough

I’m in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I’m asking for help it’s only because
Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can’t block you out
Wanna fly to a place where it’s just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
This is not enough
This is not enough

All the things she said
All the things she said

And I’m all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it’s my fault but I want her so much
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
When they stop and stare - don’t worry me
‘cause I’m feeling for her what she’s feeling for me
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it’s driving me mad, going out of my head

Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?
Yes, I’ve lost my mind

Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?



So many things to think about....and time keeps moving forward....time is running out.....and I'm terrified of falling.

Will someone catch me????

I don't wanna hit the bottom...

Please catch me.... ]]> ~Babyboi22 http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7288942/ http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7288942/ Mon, 12 Dec 2005 05:41:02 PST Are the ones that touch us most.

I think back to our relationship and it dawns on me….
Although I enjoyed it, my favorite memories aren’t of us ‘making out’, or anything of that nature as most would assume of me. My favorite memories are of just being near you. One night in particular comes to mind…S.D. A picnic…non-alcoholic champagne (I still can’t believe the trouble I had trying to buy that!!!! LOL)… 4 DOZEN ROSES!!!! Then going to Starbucks and causing a scene…without even meaning to or trying to for once!!!! And finally down to the lakefront –sigh- If I had to pick…that would have to be my favorite part of the night. Just sitting there with you in the darkness…with the water laping at the shore…the stars high above-the sky crystal clear. I remember so clearly the feel of you in my arms….you sitting in my lap with your arms around me (No you weren’t ‘crushing’ me!!! You’re not big enough to ‘crush’ me!!! Lol). I really really liked that. We were cuddled up so nicely…we seemed to fit so perfectly together. It startled me at first when you climbed into my lap…it was so out of character for you. Trust me though!!!! I got over my shock fast and was instantly at ease and felt very VERY special!!! Because it was so out of character…I knew I was being priviledged…and if what you said to me was true….! A connection like that never dies. Perhaps I’m thinking too much again…but then again, perhaps I’m not. I can only hope. Hope that you have come to understand me at least a little bit. Recent events cause me to think that perhaps you have….but I still hope. Please know that no matter what…I’m here for you. You know where and how to find me! I’m a creature of habit And also…no matter what…I meant what I said. “When I said that I loved you I meant that I’d love you forever. And it’s the only thing I wanna do. So I’m gonna keep on lovin you…” I’m not sure if you realize…this feeling terrifies me! I love you. I’ve never loved anybody this strongly before. I did what I did…“hid who I was dating”(in your words! Really…I just didn’t mention it…cuz it never came up.)…. I started dating this person because I thought you didn’t love me anymore. And now I’ve made a bit of a mess of things…haven’t I??? Yes…I have. However, if you told me that there was even a tad bit of hope (perhaps I’m holding on to something foolishly-I hope not)… I’d wait for you forever. We talked this through somewhat…why it didn’t work…and I understand. As I said…hope…and I’d wait forever. LOL It dawns on me that this subject really truly is completely out of my hands!!!! You hold my heart and my heart seems to refuse to let go. I trie to act as if you breakin it off didn’t matter to me…but in truth…it did…it does. I say all of this not begging, whining, or such…but just as a ‘so you know’ kinda thing. I am still here and still love you. That’s all. You can ignore the rest…just know that I love you

Sometimes the most simple memories…
Are the ones that touch us deepest.

So many I could choose from….

A lot has happened in my life in a relatively short period of time. School…jobs…friends…love…cars…appartments…graduation…Marines. Hmmm….thinkin bout the last…I’m not quite sure what to say. July 24th. Many people have given me their advice, feelings, and opinions on the matter. Most say ‘Congratulations’ ‘Good luck’ or laugh and say ‘You’re crazy!’ Eh. It’s all good I suppose. When I told my father that I was joining the Military…it was the first time I could/can remember him telling me with any kind of sincerity that he was ‘proud’ of me!!!! You better believe I started crying!!! How pathetic. Yet…as much as I needed to hear him tell me he was proud of me for something(anything)…there’s someone else I need to hear something from as well. They haven’t told me they were proud of me…perhaps because they aren’t? I’m not sure. When I ‘discussed’ it with them…they simply said ‘Congrats’. Nothing more…nothing less. And still I wonder what else they think about the subject. Are they proud of me? Or are they mad at me for enlisting without asking their opinion first? Are they sad I’m leaving? Or happy to be rid of me? Will they come down to the station with me on that day, hug me tightly, and watch me go…knowing full well that I will come back to them? Or will I be seeing myself off on July 24th? If I give them the address…will they write to me during basic? Or use it as an excuse to cut contact? And if I gave them... ]]> ~Babyboi22 http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7240452/ http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7240452/ Tue, 06 Dec 2005 17:09:58 PST ~Babyboi22 http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7235810/ http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7235810/ Tue, 06 Dec 2005 06:47:33 PST hehehe ]]> ~Babyboi22 http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7042764/ http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/7042764/ Mon, 14 Nov 2005 07:06:46 PST
Love & Pride...Peace ]]> ~Babyboi22 http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/6888865/ http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/6888865/ Fri, 28 Oct 2005 06:53:16 PDT (this always makes me happy). We hit up several stores....very amusing (I now own a rainbow collar!!!! hehe). Then, we were at her house and Steven came over with his boyfriend and his boyfriends lesbian friend. Ok....story time. This issue kinda irritated me. Steven called up Michelle several days(?) ago and asked her to go to the mall with him, his boyfriend, and his boyfriends lesbian friend. She told him she wanted to bring me. He said fine. We were supposed to go yesterday afternoon. Michelle and I hung out Wednesday night. Apparently when she got home from my house the three of them were sitting in her driveway. Damn him!!!! Why did he feel the need to go behind my back like that????? We did he feel he needed to get them to meet each other when I WASN'T around????? He KNOWS that she and I are dating!!!!! Why the HELL is trying to set her up with someone else????? Ugh!!!! I don't understand people sometimes. I love her and trust her. I know in my heart that I have nothing to fear....I'm just irritated with Steven. -sigh- Anyway....back to the original story. So we were all hanging out last night. I was polite, kept my mouth shut, and didn't stir up trouble. I was trying to enjoy the night and not let things get me upset. Well, things went well for a while. Then I guess I lost control of my own emotions cuz they did get the better of me. Everybody else seemed to be able to laugh and joke and have a good time....but every time I attempted to join in....I just felt foolish and like a fake and like I didn't belong. My old habits kicked in and I wanted to get away. I tryed walking out and playing/watching tv with Michelle's niece and nephew for a little while to try to relax and regain composure....but Michelle followed me. Don't misinterpret this....I love her dearly but I hate getting this way so most the time once I do I simply shut down and become silent. Yea....that doesn't work the best when someone's trying to 'communicate' with you. -sigh- Yet another skill I lack...communication...and am attempting to figure out. I feel as if I'm in a race against time to fix myself! So many faults so little time!!! Well...back into the room we went. I tryed again. Emotions ran wild again. HA!!!! Then the other chick wanted a cigerette. There's no smoking in Michelles house. NONE!!! Or at least there's supposed to be none. Well, the other chick didn't move to go outside like she knew she was supposed to in order to smoke her cigerette. Instead she sat there and complained about how cold it was outside!!!! Ummm....yea....sweatheart....if you don't like the cold...don't smoke!!!!! God damn....some people just piss me off with their stupidity. Anyways....she complaining and Michelle (who reprimands me if I so much as suggest I WANT a cigerette) is like "Well, you can smoke in here if you really want." WHAT?????? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT????? Ok....let's look at this..... Michelle hates the smell ok cigerettes. Her sister, despite the no smoking rule, smokes in the house from time to time-so I'm told. Michelle has complained that her room smells somewhat because of it. She hates it!!! Ummm....yea....just a tad bit confused here!!!!! So....I left the room again. I couldn't keep control of my own emotions. I could tell Michelle was worried about or just irritated with me for the way I was acting. I hate being that way!!!! I hate knowing that other people have to deal with me when I'm that way!!!! Yet, I don't know how to fix it!!!! Why am I so anti-social??? What is it about groups of people that put me on edge???? Why can't I fit in and just be a part of a normal group for once????? Why???? Why???? Why????? Even with my own family I'm this way!!!! Family....friends.....strangers....it seems to make no difference!!!! "...a teardrop glistens and falls to the floor..." -sigh- I want so much to be able to interact with other people. I don't understand why I can't function the way others seem to so effortlessly. It's not fair. And still this is not what bothers me most!!!! It's the fact that through it all.....Michelle has to deal with my ever changing mood swings!!!! My unpredictable bitchiness. And she does!!!! Dismissing them with an "Eh. It happens." and a hug!!! -throws up hands- IT SHOULDN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN!!!!!! It would almost be easier if people would get mad at me and scream or something. That I know how to deal with. Tenderness...understan... ]]> ~Babyboi22 http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/6870981/ http://Babyboi22.deviantart.com/journal/6870981/ Wed, 26 Oct 2005 07:12:02 PDT
1)My girlfriend means the world to me.
2)Out and Proud!!!!
3)I hold two jobs.
4)I love rugby.
5)I'm almost always tired.
6)I'm tired right now.
7)I've pierced my own bellybutton 3 different times.
8)I now have a small scar there because I let it close up.
9)On my 18th birthday I am doing a shit load of things including but not limited to...
10)Getting up early so as to have the longest birthday possible
11)Getting my tongue pierced
12)Getting my ears pierced a second time
13)Getting an industrial bar put into my left ear
14)Getting the cartalige(sp) on my right ear pierced
15)And possibly getting my left eyebrow pierced
16)I am an artist
17)I work too much
18)I have a hard time saying 'NO'
19)I'm paranoid by nature

....I'll finish this later 'BELL' ]]> ~Babyboi22