http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Bandgeekprincess2010&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Bandgeekprincess2010 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:10:42 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26914124/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26914124/ Sun, 30 Aug 2009 11:30:48 PDT
For my stalker:

I'm sorry things between us are not working out. But stalking me WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA! JEEZ! If you wanted to know something, you could have JUST ASKED! I hope we can work things out. I am truly sorry and I still want to be friends. But only your forgiveness and understanding will heal our friendship. But you also need to stop being a jerk and stop stalking people. You also need to be more considerate of other's feelings. Like stop using people. Don't just have someone in your life when its only convenient for you.

Peace Out, From Bandgeekprincess2010

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26839114/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26839114/ Wed, 26 Aug 2009 15:07:53 PDT First football game tomorrow!
I'm doing really good with the whole 12 situation.
That's pretty much it!
TTYL!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26553056/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26553056/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 16:59:26 PDT It's unreal.

I really don't have any news. My brother-in-law is going to be teaching at the high school. Thank goodness I don't have him as a teacher.

Well I lied I do have news, but I don't wanna talk about it. Of course it has to do with 12. It's something that I've been needing to tell. I promise to talk about it as soon as possible. I was suppose to see him this Saturday, but I may have to go babysit some kids at a funeral. Just the way I wanna spend my Saturday.... But not seeing 12 might be good for me. Giving me time to think... But that might not be good for me....

But no matter what, I'm going to force myself to be happy! My short story is still postponed. I will finish it... eventually.... lol

Well I'm going to enjoy my last few moments of summer vacation!

(wow everything I do reminds me of 12. Like my mood... Pirate... he loves pirates....)

TTYL!


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26463587/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26463587/ Sat, 08 Aug 2009 11:56:56 PDT
Band Camp is over! I'm done with it forever!
The picnic was yesterday. 12 didn't come...
I get to spend the rest of my weekend with friends and 12!
I can do a double toss on rifle
I have a solo in the first song
My mom broke her wrist


I think that's it!

School starts next week! I'm excited! I'll ttyl!



]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26305885/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26305885/ Fri, 31 Jul 2009 20:06:24 PDT 12 just left my house!!

Like I updated my status on facebook earlier saying that I was hungry and that I was too lazy to get something to eat. Then 12 was like me too. Then later, like way later, he texts me and was like "you still starving" and I lied and said yes, just in case you know. And he said "you want some popcorn?" I said sure why not. He said "I'm on my way" and I thought, Oh he's just going to give me some and leave. Nope he stayed! And we watched Spongebob together. He was here for an hour. I like him sooooo much.

Today was my last day of guard camp EVER! YES! Our band teacher took the guard out to eat at Mexican restaurant. It was a great time! Then afterwards I went to a friends house and made brownies. They were yummy. I've had a great day!

He makes me so happy!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26282715/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26282715/ Thu, 30 Jul 2009 18:20:21 PDT
I got my senior picture proofs today! They are so good! I love how they turned out! If you wanna see them, I'll send you a link to the website, directions to the pictures, and my password, so you can see!

Tomorrow is the last day of color guard camp! So happy! We get out at lunch! And our band director is taking us out for lunch! Then after that I'm going over to house with another friend to make brownies! yummy!

I get to see 12 on Sunday.

I think that's it! TTYL!


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26257679/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26257679/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 15:06:08 PDT Hope you all are doing fine. I'm very sore myself. It's been color guard camp all week. 3 days down 2 to go. We know 3 of the 4 songs. I'm on rifle this year. I'm super excited! Our uniforms are so UGLY. I hate them. But I'll make the best out of it.

Well today, by far has been the best day! During lunch I got a very special text! That text was from 12. And its said: "Here is something to get u through the day <3" ISN'T THAT THE CUTEIST THING! He sent me a heart. I freaked out!!!! It made me so happy!! If he doesn't like me why would he do that for me? He confuses me so, but makes me so happy... I get to see him on Sunday! yay!

Today was also good cuz we made lots of inside jokes today. hahaha. I get to see my senior pictures tomorrow! SO EXCITED!! My short story is postponed as of right now. As soon as I get some real free time, I'll finish writing it!

Well I think that's it! TTYL!


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26156447/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26156447/ Fri, 24 Jul 2009 18:00:01 PDT I'm doing better!

I talked to him yesterday. I messaged me first. And I gave in. It felt so good to see him. We will probably be going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show together next month. It's going to awesome, cuz he is going to dress up. It's going to be amazing.

Oh, I almost set the microwave on fire today... :fire: haha. I hope it still works... My mom and I are going to go see The Ugly Truth tonight! I'm excited! I've been wanting to see this movie so bad! I love Gerard Butler!

Anyway about my title. I'm seriously thinking about writing a sequel to 'Waiting'. This time it will end tragically. This time the story is inspired by the song "Sleeping Sun" by nightwish. I will try and get it finished over the weekend. Because next week is the end of my summer vacation. That's right! Band camp the next two weeks! UGH!

Well I'm going to go and think about this story! If you haven't read 'Waiting' yet I suggest you should!

TTYL!


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26134212/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26134212/ Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:34:31 PDT
I finished up my senior pictures today! But I have to wait until next we to go back and look at the proofs and pick out what ones I want. Can't wait!

I haven't talked to 12 since Monday. I was really angry at him, so I decided not to talk to him, if he wanted me in his life he would have to make the effort. Well, I texted him today.... It really wasn't a personal text, but more of an informative one. Rocky Horror is showing next month and I wanted to tell him. I also texted 2 other ppl, so its not like I was only focused on him. It's just so weird cuz early this week I was so mad at him and now the anger is slowly turning into sadness....

I feel a break down coming soon. I miss him so much. I get to see him Sunday cuz we have a DFA meeting. Then I know he's going to want to go to Rocky Horror together, which I can't wait cuz he's going to dress up and it's going to be very funny. But what happens after that? He just pushes me out of his life again? I can't keep doing this, but

Also my mom is getting a knee replacement in September, so I REALLY need to get my license.

So yeah. That's pretty much it. The journal title a song by Carolina Liar. I'm in love with that song right now. It kinda explains my feelings a bit.

Wait, I'm wrong
Should have done better than this
Please, I'll be strong
I'm finding it hard to resist
So show me what I'm looking for


Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord

Don't let go
I've wanted this far too long
Mistakes become regrets
I've learned to love abuse
Please show me what I'm looking for


Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord

Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for

Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Just save me from being confused
Wait, I'm wrong
I can't do better than this
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26073009/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26073009/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:58:03 PDT

I hate myself for loving and caring about him so much.


I'm tired of competing for his attention.


I try to walk away,
but when I do my heart breaks

When I stay it still breaks anyway




What's the point?


Does he know what he does to me?


Why does he say 'I love you' if he doesn't mean it?



Does he even care?



I can't stand to look at his face.


But when I do I can't help but look at his beautiful face.



I'm crazy about him.
But it's killing me...

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26065655/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26065655/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 12:37:30 PDT

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26015738/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/26015738/ Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:47:51 PDT I'm really proud of how it turned out! I decided to go with the happy romantic ending. But if I get another writing bug I'll write the alternate horribly tragic ending. I'll be uploading the story on here as soon as I figure out a name for the leading man in the story....

Well I'll ttyl!!


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25993707/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25993707/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 20:15:59 PDT
The nice romantic ending
The horribly tragic ending

Its up to you! :]

And I might do both. Who knows! But input in welcome!!

Thanks guys!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25948042/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25948042/ Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:27:57 PDT It is so great to be home!

Well on Monday July 13 at 7:52 am I got a text from 12. I was a very early but very nice wake up call, or should I say wake up text. It has very cute, cuz he sent me an inside joke between us. Then we texted on and off the rest of the day. I love this. He just got texting, and I think I'm enjoying it more then him. Its great. We can talk more! yay!

The really funny part is that Sunday night I went to bed mad at him. Then the next morning I get the text and I'm so happy. I forgot about the whole thing. I didn't think about it until today when we were texting today.

He is so sweet. I was upset and he was there for me, like always. I've been battling with my some friendship. And I feel like I'm alone and that I can't trust anyone anymore. I feel like I'm maturing, but my friends are not. So once again he was my support. And because I was upset and some other things made me crave chocolate. He told me he was get me some if he had some money. Why can't he just get past whatever and go out with me? We would make the cutest couple...

Oh I'm in the process of making a short story! A song and the atmosphere of the beaches in NC inspired me. I hope its good!

I'll ttyl!!


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25838809/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25838809/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:44:44 PDT
AHHH It's so good to be home!!! The trip was pretty much amazing. I think I took about 600 pictures. Which they all will be uploaded to Facebook sooner or later.

Hmmm... not lets see if I can remember everything I did......
We drove through 5 states in 1 day.
I was in a different time zone.
I drove through the mountains (they were so pretty)
I ate real seafood (yummy)
I went to Fort Macon
I went to the Ocean
I had dinner with the Mayor of Newport, NC
I got to be a pirate
I felt/saw ghosts
I have pictures of ghosts
I ate a Crabby Patty! (Yes they are real!)
I went to a haunted Battleship
I got my book signed by the author
I ate at TGI Friday's for the first time
I ate at BB Kings (longer story later on)
I saw Wicked (AHHHHHHHH OMG AMAZING!!!!!!!)

And that's about it. I have a ton of souvenirs. I learned alot about myself on this trip...

1. I have problems with privacy and space. I don't like people touching me when I don't want them too and I like my privacy. I guess I like to keep to myself.

2. I have an amazing poker face. Reason: My mom's friend that came with us is good about picking up things from people and weird stuff like that. Its hard to explain. Its like a 6th sense. Well she has NO IDEA that I like 12! I'm like YES! She would be one of the people that would find out without me or anyone saying. And if she found out I would be SCREWED!!! So now I really don't think my mom knows about me and 12

Speaking of 12. He called me on day on the trip and we talked. He called cuz I wanted to talk to him in private cuz something was bothering me, and the next morning he called me. It was nice hearing his voice so early in the morning. He also asked about me a few times when he talked to by mom. During the whole time I wished that he was on the trip with me the whole time. He loves history and so do I and he would have loved the stuff we did. Then I found this magic ate ball and asked it if he liked me and it said "yes, definitely". I hope its right...

Now the BB Kings story. It was the first time that mom has been there since my dad has passed away. She broke down. Then they started playing "My Girl". I started crying a little. But we made it. I think its weird that that song started playing. I think it was my dad telling us that it was okay and that he was there with us.

So that's pretty much my trip. Lots of fun. I've done lots of things and thought about alot of things. Next big thing in my life is band. One word about that FAIL! Its going to suck....

Well I'm going to go! TTYL!!!



]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25666226/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25666226/ Wed, 01 Jul 2009 05:23:20 PDT

So excited!!!! I thought I would update before I left. I'm all ready and packed. This is going to be awesomeness!!!

So last night 12 brought me and my friend some of his fried chicken. He didn't stay sadly, but I webcamed with him for the first time last night. It was fun. I'm going to miss him. Our hotel has WiFi, so I will be able to stay connected. That doesn't mean I will be updating. lol!

Tomorrow my nephew has surgery so I would ask that you guys would pray for him and my sister. I would very much appreciate it.

Well I'm going to go!! I'll ttyl!!



]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25631820/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25631820/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:48:04 PDT
yay... That's pretty much all the news I have. lol! 2 Days until the road trip!! So excited. I got some new clothes today. Probably going to use them in my senior pictures!!!

Yup... That's pretty much it. I've just been getting ready for this trip. My friend is that is coming with us is spending the night tomorrow night, so I can't wait until then! This is going to be great. So ready to get out of here. But the only bad thing is that the day after we leave my nephew has a major surgery. My Nephew is 5. This is his 5th or 6th surgery since he's been born.I would appreciate it if you all would say a little prayer for him that day.

Well I should get going and finish packing! TTYL!!



]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25586219/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25586219/ Sat, 27 Jun 2009 11:57:50 PDT How are you doing? Good I hope!

So I've been good. Really good! Really happy! I just spent the whole morning cleaning my mom's car with 12 today. It was fun! We had a great time. After we were done we just sat in the living room for two hours just talking. I loved it. He also let me have his sunglasses. It's funny how a pair of sunglasses can make you so happy.....

12 and I have been talking a lot. It was great. We talked so much on Thursday. I was a really good day. Besides Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett dying. RIP GUYS!!!

But yeah. I've been really happy. *sigh* He makes he happy.....

But on a not happy note... You know Robert?? My use to be best guy friend that got his girlfriend pregnant? Well yesterday my friend told me that he stopped by her house to talk. She said he said that if I would have went out with him none of this stuff happening to him would have happened. WHAT THE FUCK?! (sorry about the lang) Its not my fault that I'm a good friend that didn't want to lead you on, and lie to you!

It's bad enough that I blame myself sometimes. UGH! This makes me so mad! I miss him so much! But 12 told me he would beat him up for me, so it made he feel a little bit better...

I leave on my road trip in 4 days!! Really excited! I'm going to take lots of pictures!!! I'm kinda tired cuz I'm living on 3 hours of sleep today. I'll ttyl!!



]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25435030/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25435030/ Sat, 20 Jun 2009 13:05:28 PDT
But last night was the first night I saw 12 since church camp. I was doing so good with my feelings about him and now once again its all down the drain. Well not all.... I still like him. Even if its wrong and I shouldn't.... I had my first slow dance. It was with 12. I slow danced with him about 2 or 3 times. God I loved it. I felt so right to be in his arms.....

But just the dancing part of last night was really the only time I felt this way. When it was the sleepover he was trying to keep me make. It was funny. The whole night was pretty much apples to apples, guitar hero, and rock band. 12 was on drum, his brother was vocals, and I was lead guitar. We dominated! It was fun. Paying guitar was pretty much the only thing that kept me awake.

Well I can't really explain to you how amazingly fun my night was! I had a great time dancing and being silly. OMG I was soo slap happy it was crazy! lol! Well I'm going to find something to eat since all I ate yesterday was a bologna sandwich and a plate of mac n cheese and little winnies. I need to eat more.... lol

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25380642/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25380642/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:23:32 PDT
Well lets see Monday night I spent the night at my friend's house. Then the next day we went to Cracker Barrel for lunch, with a few of her other friends. Then we went to the mall for a bit. After that we went and saw Up.

Oh my goodness... That movie was AMAZING!!!!!!! It made me cry two times. And I hardly cry during movies. It was great. But Cars is still my favorite!!!!

Then after all that I come home and find out I'm leaving right away to go to my sister's house. I had to sleep on the floor in a completely different room away from my mom cuz she was snoring so loud. So I'm really tired and really sore. I'm so glad I get to sleep in my own bed tonight!

Today I went to St. Louis and spent my day in Children's Hospital cuz my nephew had a minor surgery. We didn't get the news that we wanted, but its not horrible news. I just think that the adults are over reaction myself... But everything will work out.

Speaking of hospitals I love being there. I know its crazy but I love hospitals. I hate being in waiting rooms and all that crap but there is something about hospitals that makes me dream big. I want to be a doctor so bad I can almost taste it. I have figured out where I want to go to school. I want to go to UMKC. Its a VERY good medical school. I would also be saving time by skipping pre-med. I would still be in my home state. I know people that live up there, and I would have a church to go to! Its the prefect place! I just doubt myself sometimes. Like I feel like I'm not smart enough....

But anyway. Tomorrow I'm going to my youth leaders house to play our Youth Sunday. The Youth is doing the whole service on Sunday. We are going to rock the socks off the old people!!!

The Friday I have my drama teams 2 year anniversary. We are having a prom. I'm excited, but nervous. Its the first time I'm going to see 12 since church camp. Church camp has really helped me get over 12. But as soon as I got home my mom was telling me about 12. And this time I'm not ignoring her. 1) Because this is serious 2) I'm feelings are not blocking my judgment.

12 has been going to local strip clubs and getting drunk. I know some people that care if people go to strip clubs, but it bother me. And I know someone that works there and she is only working there so she can buy food for her daughter.... I also don't have a problem with drinking. But I don't think you should drink just to get drunk.....

So I've been praying for him cuz that's all I can do. I care for him, cuz he is my friend. So I'm going to try and get through to him!

Well that's pretty much it! I'm going to bed cuz I'm supper tired! I'll ttyl!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25285284/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25285284/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:47:00 PDT
I take the ACT this morning. I'm kinda freaking out cuz I'm really tired and not supper focused. But I know God is going to help me! Well I'm going to go! TTYL!!



]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25186598/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25186598/ Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:58:38 PDT LOVE YOU ALL!!
BYE!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25078798/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25078798/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 21:01:01 PDT Lady Gaga!

Anyway! I didn't have a real title and I'm listening to Poker Face so yea. Instant Title!

I would just like to say. Sorry for the last journal. I was kinda upset, and didn't know how to explain my feelings and song seemed to be the best was to express my confusing emotions.

Well my summer is going great. A week until I leave for church camp!! So excited! I need to get out of this town! I had my first day of band camp. It was pretty cool. It was mostly boring, since I've been doing this for 4 years now. But I meet this cute freshmen. Its not a big deal or anything. I just think he's cute. Maybe it is a chance of me to get past 12....

Speaking of 12 today was his 21st birthday. I made cupcakes for him. It was fun. He stayed at the house for a while and we just talked. God, I love just how I can sit in a room with him, talk about nothing, and be so happy. Its crazy. Last week I so mad at him for giving me mixed signals. I needed some space. And I wasn't getting any. I almost gave up facebook just so I could get away from him.

Well today my feelings are totally different. After he left all I could do was miss him and think about him. I still like him. And I don't know what to think or do! Its like a need to get away from him, but I miss being away from him! Emotions are so complicating...

Well that's pretty much it. I'm loving life (for the most part)!!!! I get to see Jeff Dunham his Thursday, so I'm excited! I guess I'll ttyl!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25014877/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/25014877/ Fri, 29 May 2009 12:52:48 PDT Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you

Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now

And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late to catch me now

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24978271/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24978271/ Wed, 27 May 2009 12:07:12 PDT

Today started like any other day. Well except it was the last day of school. I had finished my AP US History essay, so everything was good. I took the AP US History final and now I'm done with AP US History FOREVER!!!! And I'm out for the summer!! WOOT!

The day I started to get better after the bell rang and I became an official senior. I turned in my last book and I was on my way to the parking lot where my mom was to pick me up. Well I walk outside and my friend starts yelling my name and I see my mom with a camera. I walk closer and see my mom with a camera. And then... I SEE A LIMO!!!! And then I see 12 walking towards me with a dozen roses and all dressed up!!!

We all get in the limo and 12 gets out sparking grape juice and whine glasses. It was awesome. We took pictures and it was so much fun!! After all this my mom took me to red lobster (my fav restaurant). When we got home we had a package. It was a hoodie that my mom got special made for me!!

BEST DAY EVER!!!!

So I'm pretty sure this summer is going to be amazing!! I can't wait! But on a kinda down side all my feeling for 12 are still there. I sill like him. And seeing him today was just... I don't know how to explain it. But I still like him. And I'm still hopeful that we have a chance.

Well that's it! I just wanted to share this amazing day with all of you!

HAPPY SUMMER EVERYONE!!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24859775/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24859775/ Wed, 20 May 2009 16:17:24 PDT
12 told me he loved me last night..... I thought it wasn't a big deal (mostly cuz I didn't want to get my hopes up or read too much into it), but then when I told everyone today they freaked... So I don't know what to think. I mean none of my guy friends have ever told me that they love me. Not even Robert and he had a crush on me for like forever.

This whole thing started yesterday when I was talking to 12 on facebook. We were having a good time and he was making it laugh. It was fun. Well I guess he saw some of my status, which said how depressed I was. He messaged me and was like "Please don't be depressed". I said "I'll try not to". And then he said it.... He said "awww, well know i love u!" Then I sent him a smiley face ":]". Everybody freaked out cuz I didn't say I love you back. I didn't know what to do?!?!?!

So do guys just do that or what? Should I be hopeful about this or what? Needing some advice. Even though he said no I'm still hopeful that we might work out... I mean I went a re-read the message he sent me, and I'm pretty sure we are not going out because of my mom. I think he doesn't think she will let us go out. Which I think maybe she would and maybe she wouldn't. And then he made a comment about working with my mom would be weird. Well what he doesn't know is my mom is looking for a different job.... So all these "what ifs" are killing me. What if my mom would let us date? Would he go out with me?

Since these "what ifs" have been driving me crazy and making me depressed my best friend for forever, Katie was thinking about sending me a message and just ranting to him about not going out with me and asking all my "what if" questions. But she would say that I don't know anything about it and that she was sending it cuz she cares about me. Which she does! And I love her for that!! So I'm seriously thinking about letting send that message....

Well that's it. Oh btw, I just wanted to let you know that I have NOT cried over this. So yea that's another reason I'm hopeful. They always say the one that loves you will never make you cry.....



]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24807244/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24807244/ Sun, 17 May 2009 14:55:46 PDT
no

I knew this was coming, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm not mad at him and I'm not going to stop being friends with him. We are too close for that.

His reasons were that he saw me as a little sister. He also commented on the age difference and about him working with my mom.(I knew all of those were going to be a problem) He also said he had too many flaws and that I deserved better than him. Right now I don't see that.....

We are still talking so I'm happy, cuz the past few days we haven't talked and I've missed it. But I know as soon as I see him in person I'm going to act all awkward... But I'll just have to settle with being his little sister. Which is ok with me. I have brothers, but as you know from when my dad passed away we are not close. So it feels good to have a big brother. And God must have something different planed for me. I just wish it would stop taking so long....

I'm a little sad, but I haven't cried or anything. Hopefully I won't, but I have to go to school tomorrow and tell everyone the news..... But I can't regret anything I've done.. Its like what Meredith said from Grey's Anatomy....

"Did you say it? I love you. I don’t ever want to live without you. You’ve changed my life. Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it. But every now and then look around and drink it in. Cuz this is it....It might all be gone tomorrow"

I said it, and there is nothing more I can do....

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24781648/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24781648/ Sat, 16 May 2009 06:09:13 PDT
The message said: i'll type out my answer soon, i promise that i'm not ignoring you just been really really busy

So yea. He's not ignoring me yay. But I already knew that. I just have this feeling that he's going to say no. And I'm cool with that... well as cool as you can be after being rejected. But still I knew going into this is that I really didn't have a chance. But I'm glad that I took that risk. Its like what Merideth said on Grey's Anatomy: "I love you. I want to be with you forever. Did you say it?" I said it. (I didn't say that omg no but you know what I mean )

So yea. I tried out for color guard for the last time yesterday. In like a week or so I'll be out of school. And that means I'll officaly be a senior! YEAH BABY!!!

But yea... I'm done.... TTYL


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24756713/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24756713/ Thu, 14 May 2009 16:02:51 PDT
That's pretty much it. I have my hopes low right now. I don't think he's going to say yes, but that's just me..... I have color guard try-outs tomorrow. Super easy I have finished my first college class! I took my AP Bio final yesterday and today! I'm sooo glad that I'm done! Speaking of AP I need to do my AP US History before Grey's Anatomy comes one!!!!

I'll ttyl!! Pray everything works out!


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24743500/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24743500/ Wed, 13 May 2009 18:44:51 PDT


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24618837/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24618837/ Wed, 06 May 2009 13:41:20 PDT
Let me explain...

Ok we were in the drive-thru at McDonalds and my mom was flirting with this cute guy that was giving us our food. I was like stop it! My mom was like hey this guy is cute. She was trying to get a man. I was like how old is he? And she was like about 18. And I said would you really let me date a guy that old. She said she your 17 so yea. Then she said even if the guy was 19 or 20 I would let you date him, but only if I know him. SHE KNOWS 12!!! AND HE'S 20(about to be 21 in less than a month, but that doesn't matter). OMG I'M SOOOOOO HAPPY!! I might actually have a chance!!! 0

10.In other good news, I might be going to my schools choir/talent concert this friday with 12!!! Even thought I have so much homework and CAP Exams are coming up I'm so HAPPY!!!

Well I'm going to go do this homework!
TTYL!
BYE!!!


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24578897/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24578897/ Mon, 04 May 2009 06:32:23 PDT
The only way she could have found this out is from my sister. I'M SO FUCKING PISSED! I should have never added her on facebook! Facebook is my business, and of course the business of my friends. But the difference is my friends are not going to go be a freaking snitch and tell on me! And its not like a can delete her without getting in trouble. This fucking sucks. Its like my mom has her own little spy and my facebook.

And this isn't the first time my sister has told stuff to my mom. The first time was when she asked who 12 was, and that got my mom asking me who he was. I'm not fucking telling either of them! This is so stupid now I have to watch what I say on my own facebook! I can't even put I 12 on my status anymore!

But yay, I'm staying home cuz I'm supper tired. This weekend was crazy awesome! And my hip was hurting me real bad yesterday. Its fine now (imagine that. I guess my body is making my mom a lier too) but now my back hurts. I'll update my journal later about my actual birthday. I'm just to pissed to do it now.

Now a question for you:
Do you think I should remove my sister from my friends list?

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24559991/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24559991/ Sun, 03 May 2009 05:38:16 PDT

The Non-Surprise party went great yesesterday!! It was so much fun!! I'm glad all my friends could meet 12, and that he could meet them. He said he had a great time. I got alot of awesome gifts!! 12 got me a Victoria Secret gift card! He went into Victoria Secret for me!!! And now I am having dirty thoughts.....

OMG! My cake was the shit! It had Doc on it!!! And then after the party two of my friends took me to the movies as my gift. We went and seen the new X-Men movie. Oh.. My.. Jesus.. That movie was AMAZING!!!! I LOVED it!! I really had no intrest in seeing it, but OMG! It was Epic! And seeing Hugh Jackman naked wasn't so bad either....

We have new wood flooring in my living room! I love it! We still have to do the kitchen.... ugh I'm so tired of remodling!!! But when its all done its going to be awesome! Phantom got his front claws removed. Poor baby. I feel bad for doing it, but now I won't get scraced anymore!!!!

Well I think that's it! I get to see 12 this afternoon cuz we have a meeting! yay! Just him being in the same room as me makes me happy!

TTYL!
BYE!


]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24519308/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24519308/ Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:20:08 PDT

So yup that's it! I'm watching Grey's Anatomy right now and its FREAKING AWESOME!!!

Bye Bye!



]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24515089/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24515089/ Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:25:03 PDT
I'M GOING TO HIS APPARTMENT!!!

Yup! 12 got his first apartment this week and today is moving day. He took our old furniture, cuz my mom got us some new ones! Well he has already gotten the furniture (he got it while I was at school). I got on facebook and he started talking, and he said he was really tired, but that he couldn't go to sleep cuz he had to go to work. I said I would help him if he wanted. He said I could!! SO I'M GOING TO HIS APPARTMENT!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm soo happy!!

And then its only 3 days from my birthday and 2 days from the surprise birthday party!!

That's it! I'll give more details later!! Bye!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24448228/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24448228/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 15:13:50 PDT

My birthday is in one week!! I'll be 17!! I wasn't going to do anything for my birthday this year. I was just going to see an R-rated movie with a few of my friends. Well my mom and 12 have other plans.... My mom and 12 a throwing me a surprise party!!!! Yay I know its not a surprise if I know about it, but my mom let the cat out of the bag lol. 12 doesn't know that I know, so I still have to act surprised. But I won't over do it

Omg the party is Cars themed!! YAY!!! And I get a Doc cake!!! I'm so excited!!!! This is going to be an awesome birthday!!

Things with 12 are going great. On Thursday my status on facebook was about him. This time he asked me if it was about him. I got scared. But I didn't lie. I said "yes no maybe so" Then we just started talking. I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel about him. Ugh I want to tell but I'm so scared!!

I made him some cookies, cuz he came to a band fundraiser at school on Saturday. He got off of work at 8:30 and came over to the house. He looked so cute in his scrubs. I gave him his cookies, he changed clothes, and then we kinda watched cartoons for about 15 mins before we went to the school. After the fundraiser we went our separate ways and then later we had a meeting so I saw him again.

Our drama team is going to have a prom and I'm really excited. Its going to be sometime in June. I'm going to ask him to be my date!!

Speaking of 12.... my mom has asked me who 12 is like 3 times. And when I mean 12 I mean "Who is 12?" I freaked out, and of course I lied..... I want to tell her, but I still feel like I can't....

Now to the not so good news.... My best guy friend got his girl friend pregnant and we are not talking anymore. At first we weren't talking cuz I was mad, but now he's just avoiding me. But I'll still be here for him when he comes around. And 2 other people I know are pregnant!!! WTF!!! EVERYBODY NEEDS TO STOP HAVING SEX!! Or at least use are condom or birth control...

So that's what's going on in my life right now. Also something has been bugging me. I think dA should make an iTunes App. I'm also thinking about telling 12 about how I feel about him soon, but I'm still kinda scared. Do you think I should??

Well that's it!!! Have a great week everyone!! :]

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24329032/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24329032/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:57:31 PDT

The only people that ended up going was 12, my mom and I. It was amazing. I decided to dress up. I wanted to and my mom kinda forced me too.

Well he came over to the house and we all drove in one car to the movies. My mom let 12 and I sit by ourselves on the top row while she sat in front of us.

It was amazing! He loved it!! Which makes me very happy. We kinda played footsie. I had my legs crossed with my right foot next to him, and his left foot next to me. I didn't have a shoes on, so he tried to tickle me.

And I guess you could say he stuck up for me too. Where were these jerks sitting next to us and they were throwing all kinda of crap and the wrong time and just being assholes. Well I kinda got hit with some stuff and it hit. I keep saying stuff under my breath and I guess you could tell by my body language that I was upset. Well 12 got is bag of popcorn and threw it at them. It made me happy :]

Oh and in a weird kinda sorta way I guess you can say we kissed.... We had our noise makers before the movies and we were blowing them. Well his was really high and mine was really low. He asked for mine and I gave it to him. He blew on it. He gave it back to me and then I blew on it. So we kissed through a noise maker....

After the movies we went back to my house and hung out for awhile. I had such a great time! He liked the movie! yay! He makes me laugh and smile so much!!

I also got to see him today, cuz we had a drama team had a meeting. He makes me so happy. I'm seriously thinking about telling him how I feel. I told my friend about last night, and she thinks that my mom knows that I like him and that she's alright with it. But I still don't want to tell her.

Ahhhh, I think I'm falling for him. Hard and fast.... That's it!! TTYL!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24304658/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24304658/ Sat, 18 Apr 2009 09:08:54 PDT
I'm going to the movies with 12!!!! Yup, we are going tonight!! We are going to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show. So romantic right?? We are going with two of our friends. The down side is that my mom is coming....

I'm not sure if I should dress up or not... I don't think I am cuz I'm bringing like 3 virgins so I don't want to scare them. I'm ubber excited!! I get to spend tonight with him and tomorrow with him!!! He's helping me with my history homework.

So that's all I wanted to say!! I'll update you on how it went tomorrow!!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24279003/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24279003/ Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:01:41 PDT After I drove it my mom got the money and signed the papers. I now have a Black 2008 Ford Foucs. Once I get my memory card back from 12 I'll take pictures and upload them! Speaking of 12.....

We talked for about an hour yesterday. He came over to my house after work yesterday to talk to my mom. I wasn't there/.... stupid school.... Well he said that Lamar was nice to him. Which is a good sign!! I'm crazy and need my cats approvle of men!! lol. He also said he like my room! HE WAS IN MY ROOM!!! AHHHHHH!!! Thank god my room was clean!! But I think my underwear draw was open.....

Then we talked about rabbits. I have a rabbit and he use to have a rabbit.... I likes animals yay!!! Then we talked about school and I found out what his major is! He is a history major! It actually doesn't suprises me. I even thought about doing history as my major, but yeah not going to work for me.... I told him since he was a history major that he needs to help me with my work. He said he would!!! On Sunday he's going to help me with my history work!!! STUDY DATE!!!! Alone time with 12!! YEAH!!!!

Then today I talked to hiim during school for two class perodis. We talked about history. He asked me what my fave time peroid is (Civil War Ear) and which side I like the best. (the north and he likes that side too!)

So that's my news. Thank God its Firday tomorrow. I have a very busy weekend ahead of me. Sleep over tomorrow night. Maybe going to St. Louis Staurday and going to the movies with 2 of my new friends from the drama team. And Study Date with 12!! Fun!! Well I'm going to go do my Geo homework!! TTYL!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24228343/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24228343/ Mon, 13 Apr 2009 20:16:12 PDT

I had alot of time to talk and goof off with 12. It's been great. I'm really falling for him. Everyone says I have it bad for him I can't help it! He makes me soo happy!!

The Easter Play was amazing!! I did soooo good!! I had to help 12 with his costume changes and well..... I'VE SEEN HIM IN NOTHING BUT HIS UNDERWEAR!!! OH Jesus he's got a nice body......

So yea that' been my spring break. The Easter play, spending time with 12 and my friends. I'm going to miss him thou.. But we can still talk on facebook!!

I would have updated more with better detail, but my computer and internet was messed up. But I fixed it today! HA IN YOUR FACE TECHNOLOGY!!! lol!!

So yea that's it TTYL!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24062792/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24062792/ Sat, 04 Apr 2009 18:14:19 PDT

Since I was new we all had to say our names, where we went to school, and on interesting fact. Well when it was 12 turn he said that his interesting fact was that him and I had a baby! It was so funny. Everyone was so funny. People talked in silly voices and stuff. I couldn't stop smiling or laughing!! Then after we were done going threw the script we went and got stuff for the set. A few of us were looking at the fake fruit, and one of the girls picks up a squash looking thing and asked what it was. Then out of no where 12 was behind me and said "that's a pumpkin, and so is that." When he said "and so is that" he was pointing to the fake pumpkin, while he had his hand on my back. HE CALLED ME HIS PUMPKIN!!!

Well get got done early and no one wanted to go home, so a lot of the group wanted to go to the park. Well I wanted to go, so that I could get to know everyone. So 12 didn't take me home. But its all good, cuz he might bring me home tomorrow

But yea, I'm supper happy right now! I love this drama team! Not just cuz I get to see 12, but I'm making new friends and I love making friends!!!

Well I'm going to wait for him to get on facebook. I hope he does tonight! BYE BYE!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24058910/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24058910/ Sat, 04 Apr 2009 13:46:46 PDT
So yeah that's all I got to say. Wish me luck..

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24008273/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/24008273/ Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:35:36 PDT

Our plan didn't work out as we planed cuz my mom was still feeling pretty bad when she went to work last night, so he said he felt bad tricking her. Sweet heart! But he told her about it, and I think she thought it was funny. But I'm still not ready to tell her about him just yet......

Taking care of the baby was fine. The cats were more of a problem, than the baby was!! LOL!!. Lamar hated it and Phantom slept on him!!! I got a 93% as my grade. I think that's pretty good.

I don't think I'll be messing 12 for very long, because I have the papers to sign up for his churches drama team. I'm kinda scared.... I'll actually have to talk to him face-to-face. What if I make myself look like and immature high school kid? Every possible thing that could go wrong is running through my head. I mean I haven't even signed the papers yet, cuz I want to practice my signature (I have a horrible one by the way). I don't want it to look ugly. I know that sounds so stupid, but ugh I'M FREAKING OUT!!!

Its also kinda scary joining a group of ppl that already so close, but I'm ready for that challenge. I like making new friends. There first practice is this Saturday. I hope I get over this by then and that I'm ready.

.... I just toatally lost my train of thought..... OH! I remember now. I'm going to put up pictures of the night I had with the baby soon, so 12 can see the baby I'm kinda afraid that since this baby thing is over, we won't have anything to talk about anymore.

I've got youth group tonight!! I'm going to go! I'll ttyl!!


EDIT: Right after I posted this I get on facebook, and I have a message from him!!! CRAZY!!

EDIT EDIT: Before we started talking my status say BGP is missing him :[ Then as you know 12 got on facebook and we talked and he changed his status and it said 12 is missing you terribly

CRAZY HUH??????
Amazing!
Maybe he is missing me too....

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23987107/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23987107/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:24:42 PDT He's so cute!!! And so good too! He has only cried twice so far. But its going to be a looong night! lol.

12 has updated his status on facebook because of this. Its so sweet!! I just got done talking to him on facebook. Happiness. We wants to see the baby, so I'm taking lots of pictures. I might take the baby over the weekend so he can see him, and that I can see 12 and get some extra credit! LOL!!

Well I think that's it!! I'm going to go! TTYL!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23970376/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23970376/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:06:15 PDT Hello.
I'm bored
I need to do my homework
I bring my fake robot baby home tomorrow. I'm excited!
I can't stop thinking about him
I didn't get any sleep last night, because kept thinking about him
Every time I listen to Beyonce's song Halo, I get butterflies.
I haven't talk to him since Friday.
I lied to my mom. She thinks I still like someone in band
I also almost saw 12 (that's my crushes code name) on Sunday. I went to his church, with a group of friends from my church, to see his drama team. But he wasn't there cuz he was sick. Thank god, cuz I looked like crap.
My sister has facebook. yay....

That's it. But one question....

Do you think I'm mature?

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23920386/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23920386/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:39:48 PDT I love feeling this way!!

I just have a question. When do you think I should tell my mom that I like him.... Cuz my friend and I were talking and she thinks that its kinda bad that I don't know what age my mom would be comfortable with me dating and that the age difference is kinda big.

But I don't know.... for once I'm actually scared to tell my mom something...

WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!

But on the plus side I'm soo HAPPY!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23903577/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23903577/ Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:33:08 PDT I know this sounds really wrong but I can explain.....

Ok well yesterday I got on facebook during my English class. While I was on, I saw that my crush was on. My friend took my Ipod from me opened up his cheat box and typed "how are you doin". Well that started a conversation between us. THANKS TWIN!!!

We talked about me getting my license and old ppl on facebook. Well today we started talking again. This time I started it and I was at home. I told him to feel better, cuz he's sick. He asked me how school was today. I said fine and that I got to practice with my fake baby that I'm taking home for child development.

Then we started talking about what I was going to name it, cuz I wasn't sure. We made up stupid gansata names and stuff. It was fun. After awhile he asked if I choose a name. I said no. He said I should name it $^&@$$ (that's suppose to his name) cuz its hot and sexy. I said I would think about it.

He said not to name it %^$%#%$$* Jr cuz my mom would freak out. I said I could hear her freaking out now. Then he came up with a brilliant plan. I would name it after him. Say I had a baby's daddy, but not tell her who it was. Then he would act all awkward around her and then tell her that he was the baby's daddy and watch her flip out!!!

So that's why he's my baby's daddy. I'm soo happy!!

Also today my mom made me mad again cuz she was talking about him. She said he called in work sick. The way she said it made it seem like the did it on purpose. I knew it wasn't true cuz he had updated is status say that he was pretty sick. I didn't want to say anything so I let it go. While my crush and I were talking he said he felt bad calling in cuz he felt like he was letting my mom down. How sweet!!

So I think that's it. Also while I was on facebook in English, my teacher was on facebook!!!! it was funny cuz we had a sub that day. He came back today and said that he thought it was funny and that I mean him laugh! I'm so amazing. I can't wait to take my baby home!!! I'm taking it home on Tuesday!!

Ok now that's it!!! Bye Bye!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23867240/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23867240/ Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:11:17 PDT How are you?? Good I hope!

Ok now the crazy.... I NEED TO LEARN TO KEEP MY BIG MOUTH SHUT!!!! Only two of my best friends know about my crush and actually know him (like as in meet him at church like I did). One of them I've know since Kindergarden and one I've know since 5th grade. I love both of them and trust them completely. Another one of my friends know, too but that's not important....(but she doesn't know him)

Well I was talking to my friend in AP Bio the other day about what Tim said to me on facebook. He thought I still like him, I said no, and told him about my crush. He started freaking out about the age difference and that he only wanted me for sex, and that he was going to rape me and all this bull shit. So not true and I know that, but he would not drop it!! So it pissed me off. And he kept bringing up in front of other people.

Well today in Bio we had a sub, so we got on facebook with our Ipod touches. He kept trying to find him and all this stuff. I told him to stop and just drop the issue. He said he would quit and said he thought that we had never meet in real life and this stuff. And I said I know what kind of guy he is, and its my life and he should stay out of it. Especially when he always trying to fall with this girl and making out with her and wanting to have sex with her. So DON'T EVEN talk to me about my love life.

We wen to 3rd hour and it was over. Well in 5th I got on facebook again and I saw that he added my crush!!! I'm like SHIT!!! Not only did he keep getting into my business when I told him to stop now my crush is probably thinking wtf?!?!? This is sooo great....

Now the other thing is my fault. I've been updating my status on facebook too much. Well in band this girl (she's really nice and stuff) asked me who the guy was that I thinking about. She wasn't pushy or anything, and I just said that he didn't go to our school and she said she probably won't know him anyway. Then my friend walks in and sits down and says super loud HOW'S YOUR MAN??? Then everyone around me is all like "Alexis has a man" and "Who's your man"?

NO... This ends now. The only ppl I will talk to this about is on here and one of my best friends. Only one cuz one doesn't really know him and the other doesn't talk a lot about boys. No more facebook status updates.

So yea I would love it if he was my man, but he's not. And I'm not trying to push it either. On a not crazy side I'm making a sims video about me and my crush. I'm excited.

Oh, I'm on a diet. yay fun, but I really want to do this, so support is welcome!!! That's it I'm going to go. Bye!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23810158/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23810158/ Sat, 21 Mar 2009 08:26:18 PDT
I just don't know... When she talks bad about him it makes me doubt my feelings. But not anymore. I have my feelings and I can't change them.

Ok this is getting ridiculous. I can't take this anymore I'm leaving the room.

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23795298/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23795298/ Fri, 20 Mar 2009 11:33:36 PDT

Well anyway I had a conversation with my crush today!!! It wasn't face to face. It was over facebook, but I don't care I'm so happy!!! But it was sooo scary at first!!

You see my mom and I went and ate breakfast with my nephew at Denny's. She was talking about work and then she started to talk about my crush. About how he isn't a good worker and that he has problems with authority blah blah blah! Well I got all depressed, so I updated my facebook status. It said "Alexis s thinking that this isn't going to work... and I really wanted it to.... " So my status was about him....

HE COMMENTED ON IT!! I was freaking out! He asked what so wrong. I couldn't tell him Oh its about you and that I like you, but I don't think it was going to work.... So I lied... I said I was stressed because of high school drama. He said he was sorry. Then I said yay, but at least you know who your friends are. Then he was all cute and said Amen to that sister, and said that he hates it when you find out your friends are fake, and that he didn't me to go through that. (SOO SWEET )

Mean while I changed my status again saying that I needed to clean my room before my mom throws a fit. He said my mom had told him what she was going to do if I didn't clean my room, and said I should clean it. I lol'd and said I would do it in a min. He said I hear ya with a big smiley face.

I'm like soo happy! I didn't do anything to start this conversation. He did! And it must mean he is paying attention to me on facebook! And that he cares if I'm alright!!

So yea I just wanted to share my happiness. No school today. My room is all clean and I'm hoping maybe some friends can come over. I need to do some homework.. But I'm going back to facebook to see if my crush is online.

Bye Bye!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23768820/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23768820/ Wed, 18 Mar 2009 18:06:19 PDT
Well.... I've been thinking and I'm not so sure if that's a good thing. I think I'm scared to be in love again... I'm soooo scared of getting my heart broken again. There are sooo many things against this. The age difference, our political views, we never see each other, things like that. The only thing we have in common is our religion. Which I'm happy about that... Its one I don't have to worry about.

I don't know what to think. Do you think I'm chickening out?? I just don't want to be on cloud nine and then BOOM!! I finally get that he doesn't like me and I get all depressed. I keep telling myself that its ok that I don't have a boyfriend, but its so hard not to want one when all your friends have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Don't get me wrong I don't want to date because everyone is doing it. I want to date because I want to connect with someone and have a relationship with someone like I've never had before...

Well enough of this..... I have even more horrible news!! Stephen is going out with Emily's twin sister!!! The started going out on Monday at 12:45 am..... He told me that on monday morning at school. They only freaking met on Friday and they are already freaking going out!! I just hope no drama starts, cuz I really don't want to lose another friend.....

That's it. I just needed to get that off my chest. All opinions are appreciated.

OH! I ALMOST FORGOT!!! I know what I'm going to do when I grow up!! I'm going to be an OB/GYN!! I watched a baby being born today in child development today and it was the most amazing thing EVER!! I know this is what I want to do for the rest of my life!

Ok, now that's it! I'm going to go. BYE!!!

HAPPY PANCAKE DAY!!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23718474/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23718474/ Sun, 15 Mar 2009 19:00:51 PDT
I lied its not a little crush. Its a full blown, butterflies in my stomach, crush!! I can't stop thinking about him!! I have updated my status 5 different times about my feelings on facebook since yesterday. I don't do that very much when it comes to love. I go to his profile on facebook just to look at his profile picture.

I can't believe this is happening, but I can't stop it. I thought I had a crush on this one guy in band, but I haven't felt this way about him. I just met my new crush and we just started talking and he already has my heart.

I want this to happen, but then I don't. I was so unhappy most of the time when I was crushing on Tim. But I feel soooo happy!! I haven't felt this good in a long time!! Just talking about this my making my heart beat crazy and those butterflies are back!!

The only problem is the age difference. But I've always been attracted to older guys. Like Tim was only one year older them me, but my crush is four years older than me. So it makes it hard, cuz we hardly see each other. He's not in school and we don't go to the some church. But that will change once I join his drama team!!! Plus HE WORKS WITH MY MOM FOR CHRIST SAKE!! Talk about awkward!!! My mom and his parents are friends. My mom was talking and was all like "I remember when his mom was pregnant with him" and all this crap!

But I don't care. I like him. I really REALLY like him.

Well enough of this...

OMG tomorrow is the series finally of Kyle XY. I'm so sad!! I just started watching the show and its ending!!!!! Oh, I hope you guys like some of the new art I've posted. I have one more to post, but I'm not finished. Well I'm going to bed! Bye Bye!!

P.S. I have green fingernails with blue poke-a-dots!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23696125/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23696125/ Sat, 14 Mar 2009 14:45:57 PDT
The lock-in was last night!! It was sooo fun!!! I had a great time. I laughed so hard sometimes that I couldn't breath and then some times I would cry!! It was great!! I stayed up until 3AM (a new record for me!!) I'm so proud!

Tim was there and he brought Emily and her twin sister. There were no problems. She tried to talked to me once, but that didn't work out so well. I wasn't mean or anything, but she knew I was not going to mess with her.

I think Stephen likes her sister, cuz they were all setting close to each other and flirting and crap like that. That's just what I need is for another friend of mine to get sucked in by them.....

But like I said I had a great time! This guy my mom works with he has this church acting skit group thing and they came a preformed for us. He asked me to join so I'm going to! I'm really excited. And I umm... I kinda like him... He's really hot! Don't get me wrong his personality is amazing too, but damn he is hot. Only problem is he's turning 21 this year and I'm turning 17 I don't think that's a huge age difference, but he works with my mom!! So she doesn't know about my little crush...

I went to my sister purse party and I got a new coach purse and a pair of coach sunglasses!!! So cute and styles. This is like my second name brand purse so don't think I'm a super rich prep cuz I'm sooo not like that.

Well I think that's it!!!! bye bye!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23428850/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23428850/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 07:27:31 PST It feels like an elephant is sleeping on my face!!!!!

So yea.... that's all i wanted to say....

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23366227/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23366227/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:43:20 PST
I said I forgave him if he truly meant it. But as long as he is going out with his girlfriend I don't think I can trust him, because I can't trust her. I'm still mad, but he is still my friend, but I HATE his girlfriend.

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23331958/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23331958/ Sat, 21 Feb 2009 20:40:15 PST
I'm sorry I know I should be a bigger person, but I HATE HERE!!!!!!!!!! She keeps trying to add me on facebook and I keep ignoring her. Its really pissing me off

Well anyway please pray that I don't rip Tim's head off.... and maybe other things..... >.> Well I'm off to bed. I'll tell you how it went tomorrow.

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23231387/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/23231387/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 09:07:11 PST
Ok this is about Tim. It all started when he got his precious new girl friend Emily...... Well first off I have no feelings what so ever for him anymore!!! Well Emily added me of facebook, and was all like "Tim talks about you alot and I want to get to know you" Then we exchanged numbers and she called me and we talked. And I really liked her cuz she was taking interest in Tim's friends, which Hope (his ex) didn't do.

I found out sometime last week that Tim had decided not to join the naval academy. And you know why??... Emily!!! I mean this is not like Tim. He has been training his ass off for this for years. Being in the army/navy is in his blood. He's dad, mom, and his dad's parents were in the army. I just can't believe he would do that. I mean she has done other things that has changed his behavior too, but this is the major one.

Ever since he's been going out with her he has changed and I can tell by what happened today. We are doing this thing at church were we pick a person, any person, and we pray for them for a week. I picked Tim cuz he needs to know what his girlfriend is really doing to him. Well yesterday I wrote on his wall and this is what I wrote:

Hey! You weren't at church the past two weeks and I haven't heard from you, so I just dropped by to say hello! So you better be at church next week!! Me, you, katie, and stephen need to hang out like old times! My house is totally different, so you should come see it!!

And this is what he wrote:
NO I WILL NOT GO AND HAVE SEX WITH YOU!!!!!!! I HAVE AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND!!!! AND SHE'LL KICK YOUR...BUTT!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So my mom called our youth pastor, and then we had to find out if Emily might have done it. Well she didn't Tim did.

I feel horrible. I thought he was my friend....

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/22809978/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/22809978/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:20:22 PST I'm 77 out of 270. I mean I'm not the smarted person in the world, but I feel smart and I'm really proud. The C+ was in my COLLEGE history class and one of the B was in COLLEGE Bio. I think that's pretty good. Oh I made B honnor roll. My GPA 8.75 for my whole high school life and 9.75 for my jr year so far. I'm soo hating the jr paper. I got guitar hero world tour! Its awesome!!! What else......... I'm really tired and snow is coming my way so I'm praying for a snow day!!!!!! I'm totally hating my journal look right now! But I'm too tired and lazy to change it!!! BURRR I just got a little cold! lol. Oh I've been have problems with my internet, but my mom took care of that. I will have permanent wifi at my house on Tuesday. THANK GOD!!!! =3 Well I'm tired and I'm going to go....omg i'm hungry. lol bye!! :3

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/22696016/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/22696016/ Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:48:40 PST I haven't updated in forever!!!!! I have news!!! I have a new kitty!!!! He is all black with a little white on his chest. His name is Phantom. <3 He is soo cute and little!!!! I'll try and get some pics of him on here. Ummm..... The parade went good. It was really cold, but I had fun. Umm.... I put in my classes for my senior year. I can't believe I only have one year left!! I'm taking the ACT/SAT this April and then again in June. I hope I do good!!! My mom didn't get the job I'm sad, but she said she was ok with it. What else....... I'm writing the dreaded JR paper. I'm doing it over Andrew Lloyd Webber and how he has impacted American musicals. So if you have any good sites or books let me know!!!! Oh, my sister is having another baby. Its going to be a girl. My niece go baptized on Sunday. Also I have to pick a topic to talk about in Sunday school and I was think Love/Lust, but if you have any other ideas let me know!!! Well I think that's it. So I'm going to go! TTYL!! <3

Oh. yeah Obama is officially the President of the US!!!!

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010 http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/22421849/ http://Bandgeekprincess2010.deviantart.com/journal/22421849/ Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:01:55 PST I love it!! My mom might be getting a new job. Which is very good cuz her boss is super mean and I don't want her working night shift anymore. 1 because I don't like being home alone at night 2 She won't be as tired all the time and 3 She will be happy and then I'll be happy. She has an interview on Tuesday, so if you would pray for her it would be appreciated. Another reason I love 09 is because I got a new kitty!!! He is all black. With a little bit of white on his chest and tummy. His name is Phantom. he is on me right now!!! <3 He is a manx like Lamar (he has no tail). Another reason 09 is amazing is because I like my new classes that I have this semester. I still love english!! Kiss my arse katie!! haha inside joke!!! So we are starting on our Junior papers. Soo...... I have no idea what I'm going to do. I might do it on Robert Shaw or Andrew Lloyd Webber. To totally different things but both mean alot to me. Also in my health care class I have to do a paper at the end of the year over a profession or disease. I'm going to do sarcoidosis. That's the disease that my dad died from. I'm putting my heart and soul into helping find a cure. I encourage you to find out about sarcoidosis and tell your friends. In my opinion sarcoidosis is as bad, or worse, than cancer. So buy purple ribbions to support the cause. Anyway Phantom is tired and we are going to bed. Love ya!! :3

]]> ~Bandgeekprincess2010