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        <title>deviantART: by:BardofZelica</title>
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        <pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:57:11 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>Moving</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/28455795/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:30:46 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <a href="http://www.WeatheredChild.deviantart.com">[link]</a><br /><br />See you there.If not, nice knowing you.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/27153438/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:51:03 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hm, it's been awhile since I updated this. Well, not much has been going on. A lot of doodling, a lot of not sleeping, and best of all, no band! I don't know if I ever said it here, but I used to be in my high school's Band. I was in it for about...6 years or so, but I quit this year so I could better focus on my art.  I mean, I love playing Alto Sax, but i'd rather improve artistically. It's funny though, since I quit band, I have practiced way more than I did in all three years I spent their in high school. Not to mention the fact that since I quit band and don't have to march at the games, I was able to get a job working the image board on the scoreboard.  <br /><br />Oh, and Academic Decathlon is going pretty blah, I actually have competition this year, and i'm starting to feel a bit nervous about if i'm going to make the team or not. This of course means that i'll be eating and breathing not only art, but Ac Dec as well. I'LL PUT THEM ALL IN THE GROUND! D<<br /><br />Pre-Calculus is going to kill me, no joke. The teacher knows what she's doing and she teaches it well, but my group sucks major butt. I mean, we're supposed to be teaching each other, but they don't help me at all. I ask a question and all I usually get in response is a grunt, or nothing. So yeah, if I don't get on for even longer than usual, my mom killed me for failing pre-cal. Ugh another thing,I have to take Speech this year, and it's boring. I only know one dude in there and he likes to go on about how his Gypsy blood makes him steal things. I have yet to snap and tell him that blood has nothing to do with it, but it's only a matter of time. <br /><br />Oh yeah, another good thing! Mr. and Mrs. Rowe, who have officially declared my other parents due to all the time we spend together during Ac Dec season, took me and <a href="http://altermentality.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/l/altermentality.png?1" alt=":iconaltermentality:" title="altermentality"/></a> to the Blanton Museum of Art in Austin. The traffic was a little hectic due to the football game, and their were crazed Longhorn fans everywhere. It was very cool to hang out with her, her being away at college really sucks, but at least she isn't stuck in our suck hometown. Anyways, I told Kevin, our good friend from Ac Dec that we were going to be in Austin near the UT campus and he jumped on the chance to come and hang out. I also told one of my best friends, Geneva we were in town and she decided to come and hang out too. So of course, we had a bit of a party going on. When we got into the museum we split into two groups, mr. and mrs. rowe, and the three of us and we wandered around the museum.<br /><br />We played art critic and unanimously agreed that Francisco Matto is not our favorite artist. There was this one really weird exhibit that this guy had come and made right there in the museum. There were filing cabinets everwhere and if you walked up to them, there was a light stuck in an open cabinet with a pig mask. Thoroughly weirded out, you keep moving through and there's these trippy videos playing everywhere. A trio doing a magic trick, some fat dudes making a pyramid, and this weird chittering thing that just ran around the room in a circle. If you looked up, there were bones covered in mirror bits hanging from the ceiling, it was the only cool thing about that particular exhibit if you ask me. Alter and I had ended up getting seperated from Kevin and Geneva, but he found us later and came to show us this video playing on the floor or a guy swimming in and out of the screen on his back. He was wearing those tight 70s swim trunks that look a little like a speedo. o_o<br /><br />Wow, long journal. Guess i'll end it here, sorry for rambling!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Comissions! HOO HA</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/26902459/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 29 Aug 2009 19:21:18 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ok, so I really don't have much to report. Art class this year is awesome, and I am going most definitely have to hustle if I want to get a good portfolio together.There's an open house at the Art Institute in Austin at the end of September I am hoping to go to. I've always been a bit leery about the Art Institutes (Just something about having a lot of campuses in a lot of different places that just screams CONSPIRACY to me)  but seeing as DISNEY and PIXAR recruit from them, they can't be too bad, right?<br /><br />Moving on, I am starting up commissions. Rates and rules below. Not only am I going to need money for college soon, but I also need art supplies. Specifically, some sort of art markers. So be a champ and buy something? Even one of the 2 dollar quick sketches would help me out a ton!<br /><br /><br /><u>Will do</u><br />Shounen-ai<br />Shojo-ai<br />Fan-art (look below for guidelines)<br />OCs<br />Couples (including slash pairings, etc.)<br />full-body<br />busts<br />action-y poses<br />bishounen<br /><br />Just ask if I didn't list something you're interested in.<br /><br /><u> Won't do</u><br />Yaoi<br />Hentai<br />Super mega complicated poses<br />Cluttered OCs <br /><br />Basically, anything I feel uncomfortable drawing, I won't draw. <br />-------------------------------------<br />MATERIALS<br /><br />For the most part, i'll be doing these traditionally. I'll be using my usual mish-mash of mechanical pencils, pens, colored pencils, and if I feel that I won't utterly mangle your commission, gouache.<br /><br />-------------------------------------<br />All prices listed below are subject to change. Depending on the difficulty of the requested piece, these can be lowered or raised. I will notify you if this happens.<br /><br />PRICES<br /><br />Quick sketch-Fullbody or bust: $2<br /><br />Finished sketch- Fullbody: $5<br /><br />Inked work: Full-body, bust, waist-up etc: $8<br /><br />ALL Chibis, inked, sketched, colored, etc: $4   <br /><br />Background: $5<br /><br />Another character in any pose more complicated than standing or sitting: $5<br /><br />Colored on any of these choices besides chibis is an additional $3 <br />--------------------------------<br />Alternate payment method!<br /><br />Ok, so here's the deal. Along with cash, which is always fine with me, I also accept art supplies and other things equal in value to your commission. Look below for a full list of things I take!<br /><br />Sakura micron pens .01, .03, and .05<br />Pentel Fude Kanji Brush Pens<br />Faber-castell liner pens<br />Creative mark watercolor brushes, all sizes accepted<br />Koh i noor rapidograph pens (A set would be fabulous, but i'll take any size I can get!)<br />Sketchbooks, any size (no crappy wal-mart sketchbooks please.Strathmores and Cansons are my favorites.)<br />Watercolor paper<br />Marker Paper<br />Prismacolor markers (preferably shades of red, blue, and green.)<br />Copic markers (preferably flesh tones and shades of red, blue, and green.)<br />Prismacolor Colored Pencils<br />Zebra .05 mechanical pencils<br />Erasers (preferably any white polymer sort of eraser, no art gum. Those things suck.)<br />Pentel refillable leads! (all kinds welcome.)<br />-----<br /><br />Non art supplies<br /><br />Vampire Game issues 2,3,4,and 5<br />Desert coral issues 2,3,4, and 5<br />Paradise Kiss issues 3,4, and 5<br />FLCL issue 2<br />Kuroshitsuji issue 1<br />Yu Yu Hakusho, all issues<br />D. Gray-man issues 1,4,5,6 and so on..<br />Zombie Powder issues 2,3, and 4<br />Sakura Taisen (Sakura Wars) issues 4,5, and 6<br />Anything by Ted Naifeh<br />Anything by Jhonen Vasquez<br />Anything by Nobuhiro Watsuki<br /><br />Marked by P.C and Kirstin Cast<br />Anything by Suzanne Collins<br />ABSOLUTELY Anything by CLive Barker except Abarat and Thief of Always<br />Anything by Dianna Wynne Jones<br /><br />And DA subscriptions<br />------------------------------<br /><br />GUIDELINES<br /><br />1. Please note me with all requests, if you don't fill out an area on the commission form, you're basically giving me permission to go buck wild on whatever it is you didn't specify. <br /><br />2. For fan art, i'll do all of the popular mainstream anime at the moment. I mean come on, you're paying me, i'll basically do whatever unless I tell you otherwise. Please send along a character ref. <br /><br />3.All payments must be made through Paypal or bartering ONLY<br /><br />4. Sorry, but for the time being, I can't mail your comissions. If you would like your comission at a later time, i'll make a note of it and send it to you free of charge.<br />-----------------------------------<br />EDIT: Totally almost forgot the form! XD<br /><br />Name of character?<br /><br />Oc or fanart?<br /><br />Type of commission?<br /><br />Will there be a Background?<br /><br />Any particular pose in mind?<br /><br />Expression?<br /><br />Adding another character?<br /><br />If so, what are they doing?<br /><br />What's their exp... ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Life updates and a question</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/26097257/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:53:00 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So, i'm in California at the moment, getting punted in between my grandpa, dad, and uncle and aunt. My brother, who has no job and steals his internet, lost his service due to the one apartment dweller too dumb to firewall and protect their wi-fi moving away. So i've been going through internet withdrawal, as us internet junkies sometimes do, and reading. There's pretty much nothing new these days. Um, I hung out with my brother and his girlfriend, we munched at souplantation, it was quite fun. <br /><br />My old man is old. Seriously. He's like a crappy computer or google, you have to put in the exact keywords or you won't find diddly. I watched him pull a blank for nearly 5 minutes one time simply because I mispronounced a word. One good thing though is that he's really laid back, unlike mom, and it's been a nice change. We weren't able to do diddly so far thanks to my old man being allergic to his new medicine, so hopefully we'll be doing something that involves the outside world when I go back. I'm hoping that we go to Kobe's Swap Meet, because yet again, my mp3 player has broken (Wasn't all that faithful, what a lie of a name) and you can find everything there cheap,I'm going to go stir crazy without my music soon. I miss The Kooks, The shins, The Noisettes, and Andrew Bird immensely. Oh yeah! My grandpa is taking meto get my checkings account tomorrow, so i'll be accepting comissions, since i've got my tablet with me this time! <br /><br />I need help figuring out base prices, they can't be too low,since I need to gather funds for ikkicon, and not too high. Any ideas? I'vealready got a few in mind..<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Free art raffle :D</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/25836110/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 09 Jul 2009 10:33:58 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <a href="http://mosskat.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/m/o/mosskat.jpg" alt=":iconmosskat:" title="mosskat"/></a> Is doing a free art raffle. How do you enter?Talk about Mosskat and her art raffle!It's that simple. <img src="http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/letters/=p.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":P" title=":P (Lick)" /><br /><br />Head over to the Free art raffle journal for more info.<br /><br /><a href="http://mosskat.deviantart.com/journal/25833741/">[link]</a><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/25731503/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2009 09:06:11 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ What should I cosplay as? ;_;<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/25684266/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 01 Jul 2009 22:15:23 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Got this from <a href="http://criminalxintent.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/c/r/criminalxintent.png?3" alt=":iconcriminalxintent:" title="criminalxintent"/></a><br /><br />No offense, but ... There are some people who are getting too fake on dA. They only want posts, comments, or to see how many friends they can get. So let's see who will actually re-post this. This is a test to see who's paying attention. This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me. Copy and re-post in your own bulletin. Lets see who the true friends are and I think I know who you are... Re-post this if you are a friend...Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "Fake Friends'.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/25622566/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Jun 2009 06:37:26 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Why is it that when a person dies, a veil of perfection is thrown over them? When they die, the bad is no long acknowledged and they are raised to an almost god-like status in which no flaws can be seen. Do humans do this because they fear death, so pretend to endear themselves to that person in hopes that the favor will be returned when they pass on to whatever lies beyond the realm of our mutual reality? What is it about death that brings out the hypocrisy in people, I wonder? Unlike most, i'm not going to write a long rant here about Farrah Fawcet, Michael Jackson, or Billy Mays. I simply began to wonder about fickle minds.<br /><br />Sorry, not much for typing in the morning.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Yo!</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/25577780/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:56:05 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So I was thinking of going to Ikkicon in February, since doing comission looks as if it will be a fairly lucrative business venture. Anyone going? Want to get a table together in the AA or something?<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Soundtracks and other Sundries</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/25413077/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 19 Jun 2009 10:36:40 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Does anyone love soundtracks as much as I do? I adore listening to soundtracks from my favorite movies, especially my favorites from child-hood. The elicit such good memories, and they get me really inspired. <br /><br />Man, when I was a kid, I wanted to work for disney. The weird thing is I completely forgot about that dream until I started watching old disney movies again only a few weeks ago. Watching and remembering things from your child-hood tends to bring back some odd things like that. For all intents and purposes, I should have turned into a cartoonist. I watched more disney movies and cartoons then was healthy for a kid due to the fact that I didn't sleep...At all. All I would do was watch the late cartoons and my beloved disney movies. Over and over, and over again. When I look at disney today, I have to say that I would be far out of my league if I took up working for them, if my anime/manga influenced style didn't throw them off first. Animation is mostly computer generated these days and I prefer old-fashioned animation, there's just something really...Amazing about it.Speaking of old-school animated movies, is anyone else excited about The Princess and the Frog? Not only is this going to be the debut of disney's first African-american princess, but it just looks plain awesome! The frog is my favorite character so far and the princess looks like she has spirit. And that's always one of my favorite features in a disney princess.<br />  <br />Oh right! I'll be getting a checkings of savings account of some sort soon, so I was wondering if anyone would be interested in commissioning me? My traditional stuff is infinitely better than my digital, so I would suggest that? Oh and that somehow reminded me, I started reading The Sandman and it absolutely fantastic! Morpheus deserves all the fans he gets, seriously. 70 years in a glass bubble, man..Cain and Abel were awesome, I felt sorry for the younger though. His brother is seriously effing crazy. I would let you name your gargoyle Irving, Abel! <br /><br />That's it. Sorry for all of that info just smashed into paragraphs together.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Yu Yu Hakusho</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/25343422/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 16 Jun 2009 03:28:49 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I REALLY FREAKING LOVE YU YU HAKUSHO! OMFG! <br /><br /><img src="http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/e/eek.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":O" title=":O (Eek)" /><br /><br />*cough* Yeah, i'm a YYH fan, have been since...It orginally aired on CN. Man, great anime, one of the animes that got me into drawing! I adore it, the characters are so awesome. Lately, Kuwabara has made it into my list of awesome characters. I guess it's because i'm older now and can appreciate his character type. How great is an anime that can get you into a story arc about a guy saving a KITTEN?I mean come on, you're all into it and worrying and then you realize that you've gotten into the most cheesy storyline ever, yet you keep on watching! Especially on that one episode where Kuwabara had to not fight for a whole week so Kuroda wouldn't lose his job. It is the most cheese thing ever, but it's just so damn awesome!The characters are so alive, y'know? <br /><br />Moving on...<br /><br />Did I mention that Kurama and Hiei are amazing?Because they totally are.They have cool voices and just plain cool. I feel sorry for any cosplayers I see who do a good hiei and kurama...<br /><br /><img src="http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/e/eek.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":O" title=":O (Eek)" /> To end this, I really effing love Yu Yu Hakusho.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Please read!</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/25231395/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 10 Jun 2009 08:17:34 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <a href="http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.mangabullet.com/Bard/journal/new">[link]</a><br /><br />I desperately need commissions, please, I don't care if it's just a sketch!Every little bit helps!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>The Lands of Zelica</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/24959893/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 26 May 2009 12:08:56 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Are you an Rping fool?Does the word 'diction' make you smile? Well, have I got the site for you!The Lands of Zelica is a medieval fantasy RP board that is in dire need of members. This being our third revival, we'd like to start out strong. Below is a short spiel on why you should consider joining. Thanks in advance!<br /><br />Well, before you can join us on our magical adventures across the kingdom, you have to start an account. At this time, registration is open to everyone (who isn't a moron, that is) and must be verified through e-mail.In order to fully enjoy zelica, one must have a good grasp of the english language, grammar, diction, and all of those writerly skills. Don't worry, i'm not asking you to be a genius, just don't come with your chatspeak and ** around your actions and expect to be considered a roleplaying god. You will be slapped.<br /><br />Well, the main reason you should join us is because we're pretty freaking awesome. Why are we awesome? That's easy!We love to RP and are pretty friendly once you get to know us. The world of Zelica is a basically limitless world in which you can play out the lives of your characters. You can fall in love, start a farm, and even travel the lands teaching people how to line-dance. The whole point of this world is to give a safe haven to roleplayers of all sorts, be they vetererans or newbies, and to let them relax and have fun.<br /><br />I know that a lot of people aren't big on text-based roleplaying and that's fine. Just don't knock it until you try it, eh? We'll do our best to make it worth your while!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.zelicaaa.ipbfree.com">[link]</a><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Kodos' Writing Tips</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/24754491/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 14 May 2009 13:55:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Your writing is bad and you should feel bad.<br /><br />Or maybe it's not. But no one is a perfect writer, not even me, so maybe some of you will find these tips helpful, and maybe you won't. I know the last time I did this a lot of people found it helpful, so hopefully that is still true now.<br /><br />I write hard science fiction* with an absurd attention to detail in worldbuilding, and I am sure that will show in my advice, but some of the things I am going to talk about, like cliches, are things that anyone can benefit from.<br /><br />I'm posting this in Mangaworks because it is relevent, technically, and because Mangaworks, I think, gets more viewers than Creators Corner. Plus, and I don't mean to offend, but I think most would agree that while the art of most most the amateur mangaka here is rather good, the writing can often stand for a bit of improvement. Since, and this is just my observation, most of the criticism I have seen myself and others give in nearly all threads here tend to be "THIS STORY IS DUMB BECAUSE," rather than "THIS ART IS BAD BECAUSE,"<br /><br />If that's a problem I won't bitch if the mods decide to banish this thread back to the Creators Corner.<br /><br />Anyway, like the astronomy thread this is going to start off as a bit of a skeleton and I am going to add stuff to it as time goes on. If there's anything anyone would like me to elaborate on or address in particular, feel free to bring it up.<br /><br />Anyway, just these two things for now. I'll add bits about originality/plagiarism, character development, and interesting characters later tonight or tomorrow.<br /><br />CHARACTERS<br />Cliche Character Archetypes are Alright!<br />...A fundamentalist Christian who forbid his daughter any self expression, sexual or otherwise, and frowned upon and derided her decision to pursue a career in art, instead demanding that she take up a "real" job, like medicine or something. He bullied her verbally, and was a demanding and rigid man. His actions spoke volumes towards his own raging insecurity which manifested itself in a overpowering need to dominate and assert authority. To make others miserable so as to distract himself from his own miserable existence.<br /><br />Am I describing the archetype of an overbearing bully-father? Yes. I'm also describing my ex-girlfriend's father.<br /><br />Cliches are cliches, generally, for one, or both, of two reasons. The first reason is that the author is inept. The second reason, the one I will be discussing, is because there is some truth to it.<br /><br />There is a great deal of truth to the cliche of the fiery zealot who is, themselves, guilty of the thing they preach against. Note how many Nazi leaders and Republican officials eventually were outed as homosexals. The point is that the cliche has truth to it. If I read of my ex's father in a book he would strike me as a cliche character.<br /><br />And that's fine. Cliches are fine. The thing is they have to be used wisely and sparingly and, most of all, they have to be nuanced. Sure my ex's dad was one-dimensional in his actions, but the man himself was hardly one dimensional. No one is one dimensional. People are nuanced and manifold and while their actions may be monodimensional, their motivations are rarely so.<br /><br />Basically all but the most zealous of zealots are people with complex reasons for the things they do. If you can manage to convey some of this complexity and subtlety, you can make even the most cliche and archetypal of characters into a compelling and interesting character that engrosses and entertains your audience.<br /><br />Mary Sue, Asia Carrera, and You<br />I would hope that, by now, everyone knows what a Mary Sue is. For those who don't, however, the concept is essentially that sort of character, endemic to amateur fiction - particularly fanfiction, that is good at everything and/or loved by everyone. There's all sorts of variations on the base theme, but the point of this bit here is not to tell you what a Mary Sue is so much as it is to tell you the potentially shocking news that Mary Sues can be done in a positive way.<br /><br />Asia Carrera is a retired porn star. She did piano performances at Carnegie Hall, twice, before she was 15. At the age of 16 she taught English at Tsuruga College in Japan. She is a member of MENSA. She has designed and released to the internet her own custom models and skins for Unreal Tournament. She has starred in numerous porn movies and also done the surprisingly difficult task of directing porn movies and also generally did her own make up for these films, as well as that of the other performers. She is, as her career would suggest, quite good looking. She also is an atheist and has maintained her atheism even in the aftermath of her husband's tragic death that left her with no means of support, one child, and another child on the way.<br /><br />Why do I bring this up? Simple. Asia Carrera is highly intelligent, highl... ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Word Vomit.</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/24729391/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/24729391/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 12 May 2009 21:48:47 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I know that I am often an easy-going sort who seems to have nary a care; I take my falls and get back up with a laugh and take the friendly teasing, but I am fragile. I lay constantly on the line between what I used to be and what I will become. I was once serious, my own mother accused me of thinking I was better than her, or that I was too haughty to talk to my relatives. I simply cannot find anything to talk to them about. We share not common ground. Is it wrong of me to act as stupid as I do around others? So easy-going, simple, so damn simple? I hate myself for the way I appear or try to make myself appear. I am loathsome, yet I have my good points. I can talk myself through anything, walk through a conclusionÂs consequences before it happens, and talk myself out of loving. That is my biggest flaw, fear of loving. I donÂt want to be hurt, yet I want to experience love. I argue that my feelings cannot possibly be as strong as I would like them to be, thereÂs no point to trying to love this person, I am not good enough to be loved by this person, why would they love someone like me? I am ugly, not as pretty as the others around me. I sink into the shadows or the crowds when need be. I am the happy person you see who is in fact, a mental mess. <br /><br />So itÂll pass they say, so what I feel now isnÂt all that important, they say. Screw them whoever they are, what I feel in tangible, more tangible than what I will later feel when I am 20, 30, 35 and so on. Who cares if itÂs just a phase? My feelings are strong now and will not be ignored.Everyone is a walking sham, I think. Everyone is a mental fuck up. Everyone hates themselves, in varying degrees. But the one thing most people cannot do that I come to terms with is to forgive myself, or to accept me for being me. I canÂt trust well enough to put myself out completely and hope to be loved, or to be accepted. I am a dark thing in the guise of goodness. Of trustworthiness. I comfort others, but donÂt let others comfort me. I am self-contained mess, I take on what others give me and somehow manage to stay at peace for the most part. I am frustrated with the whole thing. I want to see how the ride ends, so IÂll stay around. I may learn to trust, to love fully, to give and take, and all of those things some humans do innately. I still wonder if IÂm really human. I did not become conscious of the fact that I existed until I was 7. I snapped into my body like a piece of elastic stretched to itsÂ range. I looked down and realized I was me, I looked around and realized I was in my home, looked at my parents and realized they were my parents. Nothing before I was 7 matters. I didnÂt become a person until that day.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Obey</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/24487682/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/24487682/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:06:43 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ VISIT THIS PERSON'S PAGE <a href="http://altermentality.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/a/l/altermentality.png?1" alt=":iconaltermentality:" title="altermentality"/></a><br /><br />THAT IS ALL!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>War Paint.</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/24071817/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 05 Apr 2009 08:46:54 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So a good chunk of us have used and abused Open Canvas on the occasion. Usually, those people ended up pulling out hair and gnashing their teeth in frustration when inexplicably kicked out, or even when mysterious black lines of death appeared all across the canvas. Some people have stopped even using OC because of it and it is really and truly one of the easiest art programs to sketch in out there.<br /><br />So why am I typing this, you wonder?Well, while looking for a decent art program due to my absolute stupidity when it comes Photoshop or Manga Studios. I saw all of the usual, Pixia, Paint.NET, Inkscape, etc. when I came across a completely foreign link by the name of War Paint. Curious as to what this offered, I clicked it and read through the FAQ. In short, War Paint is a nifty little thing that stabilizes the networking on OC and has added a public serverlist. That's right, OC has basically been made into one gigantic paint chat with LAYERS. If this doesn't excite you, i'm not sure what will!It's not all that popular yet sadly so I haven't gotten a chance to try out the public servers.How 'bout y'all download, so then we can try it out together?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.warpaint.se/?s=faq">[link]</a><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Sooo....</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/22306969/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 31 Dec 2008 15:04:55 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well, i've been loafing pretty much since the beginning of break.I went to a few ac dec practices, but didn't get to go to the last few, my best friend came over at the spur of the moment and I couldn't just say. "Hey, it's been fun and all, so go home." so she hung out here and I feel like kind of bad for missing practice.Mrs. Rowe is not a lady you want to disappoint.<br /><br />Also, i've been drawing a lot more with my Tablet lately.I have been having trouble drawing traditionally, which is odd seeing as that's all I used to do pre-Tablet.Maybe i've caught some sort of disease that makes my hands go retarded when they hold a regular pencil?I'll have to look into this...<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Life has a point.Huzzah!</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/22202409/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/22202409/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:48:25 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Let me start out by saying that I am not a big fan of christmas.I don't enjoy putting up a christmas tree, I don't enjoy decorating it, and I most certainly do not enjoy taking the bugger down again.Also, what's the point of having a tree if you don't get any actual presents on the day?I get money on christmas and go off and buy all of my presents.Sure I get everything I want, but it's kind of magical to open up a gift that your parents bought you and find out that their head weren't shoved as far up their butts as you thought.<br /><br />Speaking of presents, I bought myself a spiffy new mp3 player to replace the one that died on me last year.Turns out that the reason it was so cheap is because Creative was trying out a new hard-drive in their mp3 players and I was one of the lucky few to get a defective one!Anyways, I think I may be crazy because I bought their newest mp3 player the Zen X-Fi (Fi being short for Fidelity, let's hope this is true).I got the 8GB as opposed to the 16 GB which has wireless LAN features and IM options, it may sound cool but I just didn't have enough when I went on my pilgrimage to fry's to get it.So I bought the 8GB and I am kind of scared by how quickly I filled it up.I've had it for a week now and there's only a gig left on it.Made me realize that I may need a life...Maybe.Oh yeah, I also ordered the Hishou album by the Yoshida Brothers and a few posters, I got a reproduction of the Great Wave off Kanagawa and a Franz Ferdinand poster, and a few presents.<br /><br />Anyways, besides christmas I joined the Academic Decathlon team and was fortunate enough to make the Varsity team or 'C' team my first year in.There's a lot of studying involved but I really am enjoying it.I get to hang out with all of the people in ac dec often and i'm learning more and more about them.I've made good friends with people who were just acquaintances and even better friends with people i've known since freshman year.I also love it because I get into some seriously epic arguments. I mean, come on. Where else can I find people to argue who can actually argue competently about Star wars politics, the evil that is Harry Potter and Twilight, Mythology, conspiracy theories, Regular old politics, art, and the Thesaurus vs. the Dictionary on a regular basis?<br /><br />Well, that's pretty much it in my world.Feel free to check back :3 <br /><br />Well besides<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>What's the point of it all anymore?!</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/19233259/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/19233259/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 06 Jul 2008 10:29:04 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My mp3 died, all of my beloved music, gone. *twitch*<br /><br />I'm going to send it in to the company and hope it doesn't cost too much, i'll have to go buy a little crappy 2gb if that happens, my MP3 was 8GB, not to mention I got it for 60 bucks! *mumble*<br /><br />I'm also out of the state at the moment so I can't use my tablet. =_=<br /><br />I also found this online radio station called Pandora.com, it's a msuic genome project where they use proven techniques to find bands that you'll like according to what you've given them, so far, i've found a few new bands that I like.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Are you feeling luck punk, huh?Are you?</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/18629649/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/18629649/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:12:18 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ From Nicthekitsune's journal<br />Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.<br />Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.<br />Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.<br />Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!<br />Step 5: If you like the game post your own.<br /><br />1.I think we have an emergency, I think we have an emergency.<br />2.Well hey we're going to the next city to get the next pokemon gym badge! (Not actually a song, have fun trying to figure it out.<br />3.My cock's much bigger than yours!Cock's so big it's gonna walk right through that door!With a feeling so pure.(Talk about random. XD)<br />4.As she came in through the window, with sound of a crescendo.<br />5.Well well well, what have we here?Santa claus huh?Oooh!I'm really scared.<br />6.Hello mama, hello mama it's me.How you feeling mama?<br />7.*starts with flute or pennywhistle* The color of her eyes were the color of insanity crushed beneath the waves of a ship that could not reach the shore.<br />8. I gotta figure out where mommy keeps the dynamite.I'll get some measuring tape so I can time it right, I know it's dangerous I know you're thinking i'm a fool.But it's the only chance i'll ever get to look so cool.<br />9.It's been a hard day's night and i've been working like dog. (Like you can't guess it. XD)<br />10.I'm searching for a man all across japan, just to find to find my samurai. <br />11.As the night falls on the town that's when I rise when the day goes down.<br />12.Tim Finnegan lived in watland street a gentle irishman matey aye.<br />13.I am compleeete!Fuuuucckkk!Yes you are fucked, shit of luck now i'm complete and my cock you must suck.<br />14.I'm a soldier born to stay, in this waking hell I am.<br />15.A human makes a beast out of himself to get rid of the pain of being a man.<br />16.The Kombucha mushroom people sitting around all day.Who can belive you?Who can believe you?Let your mother pray.<br />17.When you grab hold of me, you tell me that i'll never be set free.<br />18.  Yeah I would kill, yeah I would raise all hell over just to get a thrill.<br />19.Under Pressure!Pushing down on me pushing down on me.<br />20.I am your angel, come to me angel of music.<br />21.I'm in the business of misery let's take it from top.<br />22.Be want you wanna be, see what you came to see.Pay what you wanna pay.<br />23.It's starts with one thing. <br />24.Ever felt a way without me, just once that's all I need entwined and finding you one day.<br />25.Hearts on fire, creates love and desire, higher and higher.Taking you where you belong.<br />26.No one knows what it's like to be the sad man, to be the bad man.<br />27.I feel so bad, like a ball game on a rainy day.<br />28. (Oh wow.) Everybody was kung fu fighting, those cats were fast a lightining.  <br />29.She's been caged and nimble, london by night.Crashing lights and symbols queens of twilight. (I love this song, and if you guess it, I'll stalk you.)<br />30.Fire is raging on there on the field, while our world is fighting the war of the key.The army of dargor the thunder the storm.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>I'm sleeping my youth awaaayy.</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/18618421/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 01 Jun 2008 22:01:52 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I am one of those people who can go to sleep ridiculously late and still wake up early.Unfortunately, because I tend to go without a good nights' sleep for days, I fall asleep at weird times.Today I woke up at 7 and cleaned up a bit, played some pheonix wright, stared at my sketchbook, (I am now afraid of drawing comics or anything that relates to monkshood.Don't ask, because I really don't know how it happened. T_T) and web-surfed. So then I started to feel tired so I took a nap.When I woke up it was 1ish so I got up for a bit then went back to sleep and woke up again at 4 So the first thing my nerdy self does is grab my DS and play some more pheonix wright. (I seem to only play it when it's late...I get father on it then).I've been trying to decide who Von Karma sounds like...It's a tie between a pissed off barry white and satan. Anyway, I take another nap and I woke up at 8 o' clock.And i've been awake ever since!<br /><br />I also have this weird urge to play Viewtiful Joe...Does anyone remember his catch-phrase?<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Turnabout Psychotic.</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/18561720/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 29 May 2008 14:42:27 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <a href="http://objection.mrdictionary.net/evidence/index.php?path=turnaboutpsychotic/">[link]</a><br /><br />Read that.<br /><br /><br />School's finally out. Ii'll probably be up most of the night thanks to my lack of sleep for the past...Month or so, as soon as I got home I went into recovery mode and am just now waking up. (Went to sleep at 12ish).I also had a weird dream while I was conked out that I should probably turn into a comic or something...It was about this insane boy who went to meet up with his 'Friends' and they started doing these horrible experiments on his soul.They'd heard somewhere that his family had the amazing ability of soul regeneration so they wanted to test it.It actually turned out to be true but the boy ended up with only an 8th of a working soul.So somehow, he joined forces with the soul of some dead guy and the dead guy would take over sometimes.He had a hick accent, and dust was always coming off of him, off of his head, out of his sockets, and off of his clothes.The weird part was that no one seemed to notice that he was a skeleton...<br /><br />As the dream progressed it turned into a really trippy super hero comic type thing.To make things even weirder, when that dream was over I had a dream about an anime or cartoon during its' storyboard phase. (That's about as basic as it gets when you first start animating fyi, first they plan it out on storyboards and then start the rough animation.The part I was dreaming about was rough animation).It was disturbing to say the least because I think it was one of my stories.I'd actually had a dream along those lines before where I flipped through the pages of a published manga and I somehow knew it was mine.Oh well, i'm probably just dreaming again.Doesn't mean i'm gonna give up on my dream though.<br /><br />I'm all fired up now!Comic making time!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Angels sang out in immaculat chorus</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/17938780/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/17938780/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 20 Apr 2008 06:11:13 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ As down from the heavens DESCENDED MY SUPER COOL WACOMBAMBOOOOMGFTWTDBBBQQ!!!!<br /><br />*cough* Sorry bout that, i've been spazzing out ever since I got my tablet on friday.Go look at some of my new stuff to see what I have so far.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Roleplaying is an Epicurean Delight!</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/17422325/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 20 Mar 2008 07:53:35 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Salve!Quid egis?Ego sum optimum.<br /><br /><br />Anyways, what's up in the wide wide world with you people?I'm great,  except my keyboard died right in  the middle of me playing RumbleFIghter, that sucked all sorts of noodles.....My roleplaying board is beginning to pick up but we still need members<br /><br />So, if you're into rping got to <a href="http://www.zelica.ipbfree.com">[link]</a>!You'll enjoy yourself, trust me.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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                <title>Old Deviant, New Skin</title>
                <link>http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/17393058/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://BardofZelica.deviantart.com/journal/17393058/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 18 Mar 2008 10:35:43 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ You may or may not have seen my old account, chiyo-chan899?Well, anyway I can't get back onto it becasue I have the most ridiculous time trying.I have to go through five different version of the same password before it logs me in!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~BardofZelica</author>
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