If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: 'Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?'

COSTELLO: 'Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.'

ABBOTT: 'Mac?'

COSTELLO: 'No, the name's Lou.'

ABBOTT: 'Your computer?'

COSTELLO: 'I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.'

ABBOTT: 'Mac?'

COSTELLO: 'I told you, my name's Lou.'

ABBOTT: 'What about Windows?'

COSTELLO: 'Why? Will it get stuffy in here?'

ABBOTT: 'Do you want a computer with Windows?'

COSTELLO: 'I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?'

ABBOTT: 'Wallpaper.'

COSTELLO: 'Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.'

ABBOTT: 'Software for Windows?'

COSTELLO: 'No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?'

ABBOTT: 'Office.'

C OSTELLO: 'Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?'

ABBOTT: 'I just did.'

COSTELLO: 'You just did what?'

ABBOTT: 'Recommend something.'

COSTELLO: 'You recommended something?'

ABBOTT: 'Yes.'

COSTELLO: 'For my office?'

ABBOTT: 'Yes.'

COSTELLO: 'OK, what did you recommend for my office?'

ABBOTT: 'Office.'

COSTELLO: 'Yes, for my office!'

ABBOTT: 'I recommend Office with Windows.'

COSTELLO: 'I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?'

ABBOTT: 'Word.'

COSTELLO: 'What word?'

ABBOTT: 'Word in Office.'

COSTELLO: 'The only word in office is office.'

ABBOTT: 'The Word in Office for Windows.'

COSTELLO: 'Which word in office for windows?'

ABBOTT: 'The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.'

COSTELLO: 'I'm going to click your blue 'W' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?'

ABBOTT: 'Money.'

COSTELLO: 'That's right. What do you have?'

ABBOTT: 'Money.'

COSTELLO: 'I need money to track my money?'

ABBOTT: 'It comes bundled with your computer.'

COSTELLO: 'What's bundled with my computer?'


ABBOTT: 'Money.'

COSTELLO: 'Money comes with my computer?'

ABBOTT: 'Yes. No extra charge.'

COSTELLO: 'I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?'

ABBOTT: 'One copy.'

COSTELLO: 'Isn't it illegal to copy money?'

ABBOTT: 'Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.'

COSTELLO: 'They can give you a license to copy money?'

ABBOTT: 'Why not? THEY OWN IT!'

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: 'Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?'

COSTELLO: 'How do I turn my computer off?'

ABBOTT: 'Click on 'START''...