deviantART: by:Black-Rose-In-Bloom

deviantART: by:Black-Rose-In-Bloom http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Black-Rose-In-Bloom&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Black-Rose-In-Bloom en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 29 Dec 2009 10:58:54 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png To all my dA friends http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/28949185/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/28949185/ Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:46:27 PST

I may not be on very much anymore, I really don't see much of a point

I've lost my drive to write, I've lost my dearest friend on here and I'm not sure why, and it hurts coming on knowing that I've lost that friendship probably permanently

Life is getting better for me, little bit by little bit, but deep down I still feel empty and broken and I really, just don't give a flying shit anymore

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom I Love.... http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/27693437/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/27693437/ Sat, 10 Oct 2009 18:49:13 PDT

October. Something about Autumn--the month of October especially--puts me in such a happy and upbeat mood. The comfort food, pumpkins as decorations, pumpkins as food, getting our creative gears turning for the upcoming Halloween holiday planning out and making costumes, and the cool-but-not-cold weather all inspires me and uplifts me. Every year this time of year my personal energies are full and overflowing--both poetic, artistic, and supernatural. I can step outside and every new breeze, every star, every moonbeam, sends the energy and adrenaline surging through my bloodstream. I wish I could share with you just how much October feels like home...

I wish it would be October forever.

<3

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Isn't this something? http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/27642323/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/27642323/ Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:42:58 PDT

Apparently, one of my long-time friends from right here on deviantART has completely excommunicated me for no apparent reason.

I no longer get responses to text messages, IMs, and it also seems I've been blocked from making contact through dA as well.

That's pretty shitty, you know, to be friends with someone for so long and then just dump the entire thing for seemingly no reason. If you're reading this, you know exactly who you are, and you're a damned chickenshit to just pull this with no explanation whatsoever. I wish I was more upset than this, but honestly--if this is the way you insist on being, I'm better off without you as my friend anyway, and it's no wonder she dumped you after a couple years.

Yeah, I totally went there. If you want to be a little bitch, so can I. Got something to say about it? Well, be a REAL man and speak up! Go ahead, I'll wait.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom new deviations need critiques http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/26864761/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/26864761/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:10:23 PDT

hey everyone! just wanted to remind you, in case you haven't noticed, i do have a few new pieces and i would like some critiques if you can spare a few moments! I'd especially appreciate any comments and critiques on "Paralyzer", "Cryogenic Cauterization" and "The Last Lover".

Thanks!

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Promised Scraps Available http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/26464556/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/26464556/ Sat, 08 Aug 2009 12:53:04 PDT

Just wanted to let you all know that the scraps are now (well, by the time you read this) available for reading, as promised. Please check them out and critique them! I haven't bothered with prose in a long time, and I'm probably very rusty, so please help me improve myself.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom coming soon http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/26137026/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/26137026/ Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:10:10 PDT

ok just to get that last bit of anger off my page... (sorry again man)

i'll be posting a few things to my scraps soon. i have one sketch i did in 30-45 minutes while bored at work, and i'm damn proud of it. i also have a few brief snippets of prose, just a couple test-run pieces to see if i still got it, so keep looking out in my scraps folder and critique my pieces! I should have them posted by this time next week. I'll be busy all the rest of tonight ( don't have them on me ) and will be in Atlanta tomorrow for some Rock festival a friend is buying me tickets for since i'm driving him there. Supposed to be some good bands there--Slayer, Killswitch Engage, Manson, god knows who else. But anyways, yea keep your eyes open this next week, and I'll post up a journal entry whenever I get the other things posted. You'll probably have to wait for the sketch though because I don't have access to a scanner/copier.

Anyways... so much to do so little time, so I'll be on my way now. Just wanted to let you guys know. I'm thinking about taking my writing much more seriously and turning it into a profession, so I need all the critiquing I can get. Thanks for all your help!

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Your "new beginning", my bitter ending.. http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/25472707/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/25472707/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 11:49:36 PDT

I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but I don't think I have the strength to stomach this. You went through some of your darkest times when you lost the most important relationship of your life thus far, and I dropped everything on a regular basis to do what I feasibly could to try and be there for you and make you feel better. I never brushed you off or put you on hold when you were down--and you never even asked for it. WHY? Because you never HAD to. I didn't give you the chance to.

But now I've seen some of my own dark hours in life, and I haven't heard a whit from you in months. No hello, no sorry-to-hears, nothing at all. i don't even get the distant, formal, generic comments from you that I used to. I know you're probably busy and all, but you know what? I was too. I had a LOT going on, but I still was there for you when you needed me, for however long you needed me to listen. Now I know what you're trying to say, but I would have greatly appreciated it if you would have used words rather than the lack thereof. I would have appreciated it if you'd have been something like a friend to me the way I was for you. But this experience has taught me one thing--that I've been right recently to be cold and uncaring towards everyone. The more I give, the more I'm taken advantage of and/or neglected. I'm better off alone, that way I won't be disappointed anymore.i'm tired of giving all i can to people like you and getting brushed off and forgotten about when it's my turn to need someone to be there for ME. I'm tired of people doing this to me. I should be used to it, this shouldn't be bothering me, but you know what? It does. It twists my brain into little shreds and boils my blood. It's like I don't even exist to you anymore.

This is why I can't be friends with you anymore. I'm going to remove you from my watch list here, and on facebook, and remove you from my phone. How can I call you a friend when you've forgotten all about me? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that you've found happiness, but you've been ignoring me completely in the process. It's time for me to end this charade.

Farewell, =Infrunitas.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom ... http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/25417092/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/25417092/ Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:56:28 PDT

I'm so glad we still talk. I'm glad we haven't drifted apart or anything, like most of my friends do.

*Laughs*

I really should have seen this coming. All I can say right now is good luck and godspeed. It was nice while it lasted.

It was my "confession" wasn't it? You started feeling awkward, you picked up other interests, and stopped talking to me. On the rare occasions I feel bold enough to say anything at all, I get a cold, formal and distant response that means nothing--when I do get one.

But it's alright. I still have my pen and paper. I still have my craft and my poems. I don't need you, or anyone else. I was stupid to think you'd stick around, instead of turning away like the rest.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom lukewarm http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/25287540/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/25287540/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 08:46:54 PDT

Well, several things have been happening since my last update. I have a pinched nerve in my back that's causing Hell for me (i couldn't sleep last night because my back was so stiff, tense and painful. i managed about a half hour of sleep and woke up in tears.)

My friend, Carl, has moved to my town in need of help. He's busting ass looking for a job and staying at the local homeless shelter. It grieves me that I can't give him a place to live, but I live with my mom and she was none too happy with that suggestion, and he & I were lucky enough to have convinced her to let him stay for 4 days, so lest I wind up at the shelter WITH him, the best I can do is shout guidance from the sidelines, so to speak. It couldn't be anyone but me, either. everyone's abandoned him. Most people would say that should tell me something, and with my pristine dating history (haha) as you all know, well it should. But, he is very, very dear to me and I always try to help those I'm close to if I'm at all able.

My debts keep piling up, but I've finally gotten my hard-copy state security license, so I'm not bound to this shit-for-brains company that only gives me 16 hours a week. Supposedly I'm about to start on a new contract of theirs that will give me 42 hours a week, though. three 12 hour shifts in a row, and one 6-hour shift to top it off. Can't argue much with it since I need money, but that's all foot patrol. I'm going to DIE, my friends. lol. But, if this falls through, I've already started contacting other local security firms to see if they're hiring. If no luck there, I'll go to the unemployment office. Regardless, I WILL get my money.

So, all in all, as usual things are shit but I'm ever-optimistic.

EDIT: Watch this video. I promise you above all else, this guy's laugh will have you in tears by the time it finishes. [link]

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Employment, Amor, and Good Company http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/24823239/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/24823239/ Mon, 18 May 2009 14:00:43 PDT

Time for an update.

For those who have kept up with me, you're well aware that i've been alone, jobless, and absolutely miserable.

Not so anymore.

I've gained employment--I've got a 16-hour site under my company, USSA; I'm also in the process of securing a Loss-Prevention job at my old KMart store. That'll give me 32 hours a week--not the 40 i'm used to, but a fuckload of a lot better than nothing at all. So maybe in time I can fix my piece-of-shit Crapalier, pay down my credit card, and catch back up on everything without leaching off of other people.

I've also found somewhat of a romantic interest. Very sweet, very generous, very intelligent and mature guy. We're taking it slow (not even officially together yet), really just getting to know each other (and having LOTS of good fun in the process...lol) and testing the waters for now, but so far all is going very well. I've even been inspired to pen a couple pieces for this one. They're coming pretty soon. I'm just not sure where the notebook is that i wrote them in.
On a similar note, I've also reconnected with an old friend (who happens to be the best friend of my current interest--he's how we hooked up, matter of fact) and his girlfriend, and made friends with some of theirs along the way. Very tight-knit group. I absolutely could not ask for more in a friend than the things they've done for me.

The economy sucks, i'm in debt up to my earlobes, and in general things have been shit.

But, life is good.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom What do you want from me? http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/23866475/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/23866475/ Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:29:37 PDT
But, you choose to ignore it; you only acknowledge the motions of it, and never the reasons. It's always been that way with you. As time passes, you deal with me in this cool, professional, impersonal tone, like I'm just a business dealing instead of a girl who fell for you a long time ago.

What do I have to give--what do I have to be, or do? What is it finally going to take to open your eyes?

There is so much to be said, but it's futile. I'm frustrated, and hurt, and pissed, and all the while everyone else goes around with their little oblivious smiles, including you. I always thought you "got it", you understood me, but I see you only understand and "get" the things that it's good for you to understand. You keep ignoring and shutting your eyes to everything else that's there. I'm in my darkest hour, and I need you the most, and you aren't there.

You were always there, but now, you aren't there anymore. You're out sowing your oats and leaving it all behind, so go and do what's good for you (as though you'd seek my permission first! ha.); undoubtedly, I'll be here waiting as always, wondering what's next. Wondering where is the next mark for the barbs, and who will be the next wolf in sheep's clothing to tear away at my tired, tear-stained flesh. Wondering if it will ever be MY time to struggle back to my feet and find something like a smile.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom FYI to my readers http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/23561489/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/23561489/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:45:40 PST
Just wanted to let everyone interested know that I'm working on what will hopefully become my first completed erotica story (I've begun an innumerable quantity of these, but for obvious reasons never quite made it to the end of the story...) I'm about a chapter and a half into it right now, but I hope to have at least three or four chapters completed before I begin posting. I will set up a separate account when the time comes to post these--once this is done, I will leave you a link to the profile, and if you are interested in my work, you can watch it and watch for each chapter to be added as my time (and its completion) warrants.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom yay! :D http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/23258315/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/23258315/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 17:34:37 PST
as for the last entry, it played itself out exactly as i figured, and so i'm left dealing with a crushed dream i've had for years, but, eh--story of my life. Nothing new. If he's happy, I'm happy, and I'm going to take time to "recover" so to speak, and move on.

As some of you may have noticed, I've apparently been assaulted by a poetic muse sometime in the recent weeks past and I'm enjoying the results. The more I write, the more I find absolute bliss in my pieces. It's the only way I know to create tangible, vivid communication of my absolute emotional core. It releases everything that goes on inside of me, and the reactions I get from my small handful of readers gives me great joy. Thank you for those who read, comment, and

my pieces, and i'm so glad you like and identify with my work. There is always less than 5 at a time who consistently keep up with my stuff, but you are the reason I'm still here, the reason I'm able to take any pride at all in my poems. Thank you!!

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom On my mind again-- http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/23143177/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/23143177/ Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:08:54 PST "And oh, by the way,

With all you did, nothing has changed" --"Falls Apart", Hurt

I've searched for nearly six years. I cannot find him. It's been nearly a decade since I've seen him, and yet I still love him. Every time I think I've finally gotten past him, his memory punches me in the guy again--it won't leave me the hell alone! It seems utterly hopeless. I haven't been able to feel truly in love with and connected to anyone since him--not for very long. I will probably never see him again. Even if I do, I'm almost positive it will do no good--rumor has it, from various sources, that I really never meant anything to him. Why should I have any hope that 60, 70 more lbs. later, he'll still even be attracted to me, let alone feel something? I felt a connection with and to him that I've never been able to find anywhere else. Sure I've been able to love and connect, but it's never the same as what I had with him. As my latest poem says, "a candle never burned so bright" as my love for him does. Everything just falls apart every time I'm with someone else. What do I do?! What can I do? And Hell, not that long ago he was spotted in Wal-Mart; he was soon to marry a woman (who had kids of her own), so for all I know he's married with a family (biologically his or not, doesn't really make a difference to me). If I ever see him again, and that is the case, I don't know how I'd take it. God help me, I'm an idiot.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Stock images wanted--rewards! http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/22887541/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/22887541/ Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:58:09 PST
So, here's the deal. Go read this poem--this is the one I wrote and I will be using. [link]

Then, you can either link me to suggestions you immediately think of, or you can browse around for me, and link me to anything good you find. If you find something that I use for my visual poem, I will feature one of your deviations in my next journal entry, and/or suggest them for a daily feature (if I can--never tried before). Either that, or I can create a poem or a 3d Landscape photo like the few that are in my gallery. Let me know what you want with your submission and if I use your suggestion, you'll get your reward.

Suggestions can be your own works, or they can be links to someone else's--I don't care whose they are as long as they're links to deviations/sites/whatever that can be used as FREE STOCK. I would like to have this done by Valentine's Day so I can give it to my boyfriend. (Yea, that's another journal entry altogether, sorry about that. I'll explain later.)

I do NOT want links to pieces that cannot be used as stock, so please do not link me to them.

I'm really in a rush, and that's all I can think of for now, but if anything else comes to mind I'll come in and edit...
Thanks a MILLION ahead of time to all of you who are willing to help.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom ...Not again. http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/21569278/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/21569278/ Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:21:10 PST
I know you're probably wondering what the hell happened this time. Basically he was just another ass--enough said. So I dumped him and told him not to call me ever again.

I love being single. (For now.) I get to do what I want, go where i want, flirt with whoever I want, and it's nobody else's fucking business. SO this definitely works for me.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Back from the Bottom http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/21466329/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/21466329/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 08:46:37 PST
First, though, to

<<<<
I put my two weeks notice in at KMart and finally got a new job--full time, even!--working as a class D security officer for various condos and high-security businesses on the beach. I've been absolutely exhausted, as in 9 days I've put in 75 hours of work time, including my last two days at KMart. But that 9 days of ass-busting will ultimately mean over 600 bucks (of which I'll see maybe 450 after taxes and deductions for the uniforms and classes, but i digress.) I'm dancing on cloud 9 because of that, because this is a paycheck that will be 21 days' worth of work and in 9 days of that I've already made as much as KMart MIGHT have gotten me in an entire month!!

On another note, there's a new man in my life. (I can see the half of you rolling your eyes and thinking, 'Really...Another one??' ) But seriously, he's a really sweet guy (Yes, I know I've said that about the last fifteen I've grown to loathe) It really happened totally by chance, it's so funny! This man, just off duty from the local AFB, came up to me at the customer service desk when I was working at Kmart. He needed to make a return on some Halloween stuff. Well, while I was processing the refund and returning his money, we were chatting (as I am wont to do, especially with anybody military) and really getting along. Well, in the name of professionalism, I didn't want to be brash and give him my number or anything and risk pissing off a wife or girlfriend (or my bosses?), so I said goodbye and let him go. Man, as soon as he walked out that door I hated myself. I was so mad that I didn't let on anything that I enjoyed our conversation and that I would have loved to hang out with him! I spent the next couple hours kicking myself in the ass, hoping and praying that he'd come back in or show up at closing time, or call or something to ask for my number or something--I was REALLY digging this guy. Well, sure as shit, two hours later, he calls me and asks me if he can take me out that night. At the moment I was flooded with customers and really couldn't talk, but I had a break due, so I gave him my cell and told him to call me about X o'clock p.m. and we'd make plans. Absolutely in shock at what just happened--you don't understand, I don't have that kind of good luck, not ever--I finished with the customers and asked one of my coworkers to relieve me so I could tend to my business. SO he calls, and I explain to him that I don't get off until nine, if that is alright with him--he wasn't to get off until 11 from his second job (I wish I'd have known that he's at this second job literally just about every day--and I KNOW that's where he's at because I've had to call him there a couple times about various things). So I had to tell him we couldn't go out that night, because I live with my grandfolks and they usually want me home by then. So we made plans to go out the next night. I'd spend the night with my mother so that I wouldn't have a curfew, and we'd meet up at Sonic at 11:30. Well, we did, and it went wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that we both agreed THAT NIGHT to be exclusive. We get along so well; it's amazing that something so chance and random could generate a relationship between two people with almost everything in common.

This is like...one of those storybook romances. Whether it lasts or not, this will definitely be one of those things I'll be telling my kids about with one of those bittersweet, reminiscent smiles, that linger all day.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Forgive me for this. http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/21095443/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/21095443/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 13:41:37 PDT
Chances are pretty good that if you have a cock, I hate your motherfucking guts right now.

However, I want to thank *Infrunitas for being a set of ears (eyes?) I can vent to, and an awesome friend. You're a real gem, and I can't thank you enough. Shit is still flying in my face, and nothing's really righted itself yet, and sometimes I just feel world-weary and want to "go home", but I'm still here, and I have your compassion and understanding to thank for helping me sweep away the ashes, so to speak. You're the ONLY male human being I don't have a problem with right now.

As for the rest of you, I think you can research my previous blogs to know I have a REAL track record with relationships. If my blogs are a bit too vague, I've attracted mostly dickwads and gotten torn to shreds as a result... So if you happen to be one of the good guys, and you're offended by my man-hating goodness, then don't take it personal because obviously my anger isn't directed toward your kind! I'm tired of the ones who get hooked up with real sweet girls who break their damn backbones to please you, and still you have the audacity to cheat on them fifteen fucking times and lie about every goddamn thing you think you can get away with; sick of the ones who pick fights over stupid shit--tell you they care, they really do want to be friends, and then cast you aside for this other person, or start fights over shit that's their own damn fault to begin with and then tell you to fuck yourself because you expect them to act like a friend?? If this sounds like you, then FUCK you, because I've seen enough of your type in my life.
To the girls who do manage to snag a good man and then fuck him over repeatedly, no matter what whiny-ass excuse you have for it--I hope you catch a chronic case of the crabs, because it's girls like you that RUIN it for the good girls like me who just want a fucking life! One that might someday involve a man capable of loving and trusting a female.
On another note, I could bitch until the cows come home about money and how if I could just finally secure a full-time job SOMEWHERE doing SOMETHING, my problems would CEASE completely. (For the time being, at least.) But we're ALL feeling the heat from inflating prices and shrinking paychecks, so I'll refrain.

If you've sat through this entire thing, then Thank you, and may the Gods bless you for it--Unless you're one of the dishonest and shameless runny turds I described above, in which case I'm ashamed that you've disgraced my profile with your eyeballs.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Revelations http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/19689729/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/19689729/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 21:58:01 PDT
Or so you think.

For the last three years or so, I've been your average blue-jeans-and-blouse girl, browsing through the likes of Cosmopolitan magazine and keeping up with what's "in" (although I rarely have the money to BUY what's "in"). But of course, I still have that nutty addiction to rock music and the old leftovers of my previous lifestyle.

Earlier today I was out walking with my mp3 player jammed into my ears. As cars were rushing past (and probably honking at me--i had the volume up VERY loud and couldn't hear much else), I was jamming out to a band I've always had an appreciation for but never really listened to them for whatever reason. And I started thinking--I gave up my black hair dye for my natural color again, I no longer keep my black lipstick and nail polish in stock, I no longer keep black as a staple in my everyday wardrobe--all in the name of trying to succeed in society without being looked down upon to the point of being held back from the life I need to have to feed a family someday. I have given up, on the outside, what is truly me at my core--Goth.

But there, on the busiest section of Tyndall Parkway, traipsing down the sidewalk in a white beater and pink plaid bermuda shorts, listening to Bella Morte's latest album, I realized--You can take the Goth off of the girl... But you can never take it out of her.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom New Beginnings http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/19396353/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/19396353/ Mon, 14 Jul 2008 18:26:06 PDT
And, much to my pleasure, met one of the sweetest guys on the face of this Earth, and he's all MINE.

His name is Kurt (I'll withhold his last name for privacy--don't want to give out too much of your info on the www, babe).

We spent the entire day together yesterday. We did absolutely pointless crap the entire day, but yet I had more fun just being in his company than I have ever had with anybody. What really amazes me is, he actually seems like he cares. For whatever reason, I just didn't think I'd be good enough for him to really be "into." But, I underestimated myself by a long shot, because he's as crazy for me as I am for him. (For those of you who have an apparent hatred for my "melodramatic" nature, hold your tongue and for God's sakes, unsubscribe already.)

I just had an amazing time with him, and I can't keep bragging about him to everybody I know.

Including you!

(Check out my latest deviation -- the poem I wrote for him!)

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Update http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/18373626/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/18373626/ Sat, 17 May 2008 21:13:25 PDT
Their CDs do them NO justice. The CDs are alright, but they absolutely dominate the entire venue in person. They will literally rock your damn boxers off. I LOVE those guys so fucking much.

I'll post the pics we get as soon as I can! Wish me favor with the rock Gods so that I can meet them again!

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom tag http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/16674487/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/16674487/ Fri, 01 Feb 2008 12:56:37 PST Infrunitas

RULES:
1. Post these rules
2. You have to write 8 random facts about yourself
3. Post a journal with this tag
4. Tag 8 more victims
5. Go to their page and leave a comment that tells them they have been tagged

1.) I love cooking, but I hate the culinary program I'm in.
2.) I'm supposed to be a mother of two, but my body apparently had other ideas.
3.) I'm a Christian now, but used to practice witchcraft and satanism.
4.) I hate my job.
5.) I tried my hardest to get drunk on my 21st birthday, and just couldn't drink enough to get there. No thanks to my German blood!
6.) I'm such a freak, but I'm truly a redneck at heart.
7.) I live in Florida, but I HATE hot, humid weather. It makes me miserable.
8.) I

my barbell.

I tag ~ArtificialEd , *pyronixcore , ~reluctant-hero , *boxedlemon , *DrowningByWords , ~FoxMaxwell , ~darkvenom , ~CloakedStranger

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom I still could cry over this. In a good way. http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/16435102/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/16435102/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 16:35:11 PST
I know I haven't updated in a very long time, but I thought that this was really something to write about. I've never received such a grandiose gesture of love.

On another note, since I'm here, I'm back in college, but I've changed my major to Culinary Management. I have two web classes, which is really convenient, and a Business Math class which starts at 12:30, and a Basic Food Prep class which starts at 8:00 AM, as well as the corequisite Meat Fabrication class which starts at the same time. My cooking classes are 4. Hours. Long. That's not fun when you're a pack-a-day smoker! But it'll be worth it. Cooking is my passion, and after I graduate it will also be my career.

By the way... He was actually serious about the rose petals. He actually demands that I count them all. That may take an entire 4-hour culinary class of mine.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Wow... http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/15554571/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/15554571/ Sat, 17 Nov 2007 21:32:03 PST
Man, I love Ebay right now.

But the irony of it all is, this console isn't even for me. It's a Christmas present for Tyler.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Time for an update... http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/15369043/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/15369043/ Fri, 16 Nov 2007 07:14:11 PST Cheaper on gas and insurance, too!

Also, Tyler and I are no longer officially engaged--we had a little 4-day break from each other, during which time I did return his ring. Upon reunion, I told him it would be a while until I felt getting engaged again would be safe. So, we're together, but I'm not quite ready to put that ring on. Y'know?

I've gotten back into traditional media--i.e. Acrylic painting, and I'm already well into my first project (just a mimic of my 3-D Art submission titled "Great Escape", see my gallery or recent submissions on the front page). I will scan and submit it when I'm through.

That's about all I can think of for now, so.... Ciao!

++++++++++++++EDIT+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tyler and I ARE engaged, now. He proposed to me again...in walmart...in the produce section...at 10:30 at night.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Oops http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/14125809/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/14125809/ Sat, 11 Aug 2007 22:02:20 PDT
Everybody's OK, but Tyler and I were in a not-so-minor fender bender today. Apparently we found out the hard way that GMC dualies hide very well in the blind spot of a white pontiac grand prix with a crunched-up trunk, and that they will rip out the windshield wiper fluid container of your car, along with the front bumper and headlight, as well as crash in the front panel and lay the tire and axle flat on the ground.

Tyler's shoulder has been sore, nobody in the truck was hurt, and I seem to be (physically) fine. So, I'm without wheels until my dad and I find a new car for me. I'll be downgrading significantly, but I don't care a bit as long as I'm back on the road in less than 2 Grand.

So y'all pray for me as we get insurance claims and new vehicles and towing fees straightened out!

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom new submission http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/13885075/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/13885075/ Thu, 26 Jul 2007 08:38:18 PDT
here's the link:

[link]

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom ... http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/13131418/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/13131418/ Mon, 28 May 2007 21:38:15 PDT
- 1 character only.
- you must do this in your journal too! No sketch til I've seen than you've put it in your journal.
- PLEASE try not to request something if you've already received a drawing from me. Give someone else a chance to request something please. =]

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom pimpage http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/12876391/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/12876391/ Mon, 07 May 2007 13:38:34 PDT
The catch?

You gotta put this in your journal as well if you posted. And I will leave this part up for a long time. And remember, if you don't post this in your journal, I'm not going to put your art up.

I requested pimpage in someone else's journal so I have to do this too. 8D

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom :( http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/12844084/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/12844084/ Fri, 04 May 2007 19:15:36 PDT
]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom grr http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/12681513/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/12681513/ Sat, 21 Apr 2007 14:29:15 PDT
everything new that's going on is something i don't want to talk about.

so.... yea.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom i feel like such an idiot http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/12284062/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/12284062/ Thu, 22 Mar 2007 13:07:21 PDT
I can't believe that I can never tell him how much I feel like a fool, and how wrong I was for leaving, and how much I didn't mean it.

But it's too late for that, I guess. At this point, I guess I'm just looking for a reason to live.

I wrapped my whole life around him. That's why I left, I guess. Because he became my life. I had no friends to speak of, really. None that I hung out with. But now, I wish I could wrap it right back around him and hold on for all it's worth.

I'll never know what it feels like to make him love-drunk with my kisses. I'll never know what his fleshy little lips feel like against my flesh again. I'll never be able to appreciate how our hands fit perfectly together, or how my head fits just so in the space between his neck and shoulder. I'll never be able to fall asleep in his arms again. I'll never be able to hear his voice say to me, "I Love You."

And... it's all my fault.

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom heh... tagged. http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/11958779/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/11958779/ Sun, 25 Feb 2007 09:06:31 PST boxedlemon heh my first tag!!!

1. Five wierd habbits:
All my appointments and scheduled events must be at some "normal time" ending in a 0 or a 5. I can't have an appointment for, say, 9:42 am. Give me a 9:30 or a 9:45. Otherwise, I'll go ballistic!!!
If I'm bleeding, I always lick/suck away the blood on my way to go wash it.
I hate people putting stuff in my face. My face has a bubble, and it needs others to stay out unless invited in.
I refuse to go without breakfast
I buy stuff in hordes that I forget to use--multivitamins, lotions, perfumes, make up.....

2. Which OC resembles you most?
Hmm,,,,what's OC?

3. Do you like striped?
striped what?

4. What is one of your weirdest dreams?
Hm. I never have really had any *weird* dreams that I can remember, but my mom once had a dream about a carrot monster. This thing was made totally out of carrots and was chasing her around. XD

5. Three things you dislike - that scare you:
anything with wings and a stinger
boxcutters (don't ask...PLEASE)
gangsters

6. Hot chocolate?
Hm, I prefer it in the solid form.

7. Back to the OCs. Which one of them is the stupidest one?
Again with the OCs. What's an OC???

8. What would you give to your second main OC for Christmas?
Again, tell me what it is and I'll tell you my answers.

9. Do you bite your nails?
uh, well, i bite the hangnails. I hate those, I'll pull them away till they hurt, then bite them off.

10. What song(s) are you obsessed with right now?
"Walking Dead" by Decyfer Down
"Frontline" by Pillar
"Fight Like This" by Decyfer Down

11. Are you traveling during holidays?
Some times...

12. What's your favourite game(s)?
Not much of a video gamer, so I'm putting board games
Twister
Battleship

13. Is bubble wrap fun?
BUBBLE!!!!!!!

14. Do you like shiny things?
Ooooh, shiny.... *grab*

15. Do you fear?
Of course. Who doesn't?

16. Weird/funny/stupid thing(s) you like to say:
ooooo, pretty......

17. What would you eat right here right now?
anything baked.

18. Which of your OCs is the oldest? How old is he/she?
What...is...an OC?????

19. How many languagues do your OCs speak?
GAHHH!!!!

20. What race would you like to be?
Angelic/Elven mix

Now, I tag ~reluctant-hero , ~ArtificialEd , =pyronixcore , and *TheFlawedOne

]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom i wish... http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/11740756/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/11740756/ Thu, 08 Feb 2007 20:50:43 PST
]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom 2000 http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/11719228/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/11719228/ Wed, 07 Feb 2007 07:07:44 PST
]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom in times of trouble, try this http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9889701/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9889701/ Mon, 28 Aug 2006 20:43:58 PDT "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." It just makes sense.
Now, remember, just because Satan has his filthy paws in the vast majority of our afflictions doesn't mean that God won't chastise us for something we've done. As our parents punished us, so our heavenly Father must do the same for our own good. But we won't be given more than we can take. Psalm 118:18 shows us that: "The Lord hath chastened me sore: but he hath not given me over unto death." God will never break you. Never, ever, ever, as long as you're here and trying to stay on the right Path. For, as Psalm 125:1 says: "They that trust in the Lord shall be as Mount Zion, which cannot be removed, but abideth forever." Shall be as Mount Zion! If we trust in God with our lives, we'll have the solid strength of a mountain, and not just any old mountain, but Mount Zion, God's favorite! That's absolutely incredible.
And not only will God strengthen you, but he'll protect you too, just like Psalm 27:5, 14 tell us: "For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion: in the secret of His tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. ... Wait (wait meaning trust) on the Lord: be of good courage and He shall strengthen thine heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord."
But--big but--don't just pray once and let it float off into outer space. Jesus himself says to be persistent, in the Parable of the Persistent Friend in Luke 11:5-13: "And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee... ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom I'm SO in. http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9786915/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9786915/ Sat, 19 Aug 2006 21:19:08 PDT
Kindergarteners, here I come!!! (In 4 short years...)

On another note, Tyler and I...well, for the Most part we're doing good. We have our fights and such. He got worried that he was hurting me too much by fighting with me all the time, and almost broke up with me, for my own good, but we worked that out without having to sever our ties. Goodness sakes, that would have been the last straw on me. God only knows. But we're doing great. I honestly think that the more fighting we have, the closer it pulls us. I guess it's the whole, "Well my goodness, we've been through THIS together, it'd be such a waste to throw all this love and dedication and commitment and effort away! I'm so grateful you put up with my crap!" But, anywho, I got an early workday tomorrow, so I'll let you go, faithful (if not absent.....or just silent--please leave some sort of comment so I know I'm not essentially talking to myself) readers.

Bye!!! ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Feeling a bit invisible. http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9563605/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9563605/ Tue, 01 Aug 2006 08:47:37 PDT =Black-Rose-In-Bloom New account! http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9526738/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9526738/ Fri, 28 Jul 2006 19:50:09 PDT I love you baby!!!! AAF, FAA ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom worried http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9388774/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/9388774/ Sat, 15 Jul 2006 20:19:11 PDT =Black-Rose-In-Bloom OK...??? http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8815586/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8815586/ Fri, 19 May 2006 10:31:54 PDT =Black-Rose-In-Bloom R-Rated Emo Entry Ahead... http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8772691/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8772691/ Sun, 14 May 2006 20:49:57 PDT =Black-Rose-In-Bloom For love of... http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8493610/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8493610/ Sun, 16 Apr 2006 20:35:14 PDT
Well, another public holiday is over, and I don't know if it's helped me gain realization of Christ's sacrifice or helped me pack on more pounds with all the candy I've been given... But whatever. I had an easter packed with Allergies, kids, and food, and I think I've about had my fill of all three for one season. Or at least one night, on the food and kids part.

On another note, I've completely forgotten, in my "illness", to check my schedule for this week, so I'll have to call in and get it as soon as I wake up tomorrow... Blah....

I've been thinking a lot about a friend of mine, Brian, lately... I went to school with him and now I'm seeing him in a different, less-callous light. I'd like to actually hang out with him and get to know who he *really* is, and not who I originally perceived him to be. I don't know, I've given him my number; if he wants to chill, it's on his end now, he has to call me--I didn't get his number. *Shrug*

I feel so....empty. I don't know why. I mean, I've submitted my FAFSA application, I'm waiting for my Student Aid Report to come in through my e-mail, and in the meantime my approximate Expected Family Contribution is nothing at all, literally, so I'll pretty much be going to college for free.... I get my car very shortly... I've come up so far from where I've been, but yet, I'm still alone, and mostly by my own choice. But I can't help from feeling emotionally isolated and ignored most of the time. Everyone's pregnant, or getting married, or at least dating someone, and I'm still here, empty-handed. I can't really think of anything really wrong with me. I mean, sure, I'm not the most attractive person known to mankind, or even to K-Mart#7558-kind, but being unattractive (which I don't think I am to an extreme degree) doesn't change who I am as a person, and characteristically-speaking, I don't think I'm that unbearable. I'm always trying to figure out where I'm going wrong, what I'm doing wrong. I've been "desperate," I've been "nonchalant," I've been many things about love and the concept of relationships, Hell I've been downright scared recently, but now the whole solitude thing is getting really old, really fast. Sure, there's not much I can really do about it, but... I don't know. I suppose everyone is bound to feel this way at any given thousand times in their life, so do I really have a right to bitch as though I'm the only one who feels this way? I mean, I keep telling myself I don't need a man (or woman), I don't need love, I've got family and friends and work so I got it all, but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, I'm craving more.
Oh well...enough rambling. I should be off to bed soon--my nerves and sinuses can't handle being up really late yet, and neither can my grandparents, as the sound of me typing will inevitably keep them awake long after they've gone to bed. So, good night, sleep well, and until we meet again...

Raevynne

Currently Listening:
Bad Day
By Daniel Powter ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Coming Home Dizzy http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8327552/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8327552/ Fri, 31 Mar 2006 20:47:59 PST
Renee ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom Tribute to Papa Joe http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8276223/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8276223/ Sun, 26 Mar 2006 15:37:57 PST Papa Joe
Let's sit down by the fire
And make small talk

Teach me a lesson,
Papa Joe
Show me some of the things you've learned
Throughout your blessed life

Can I sit with you,
Papa Joe?
Tell me what your childhood was like?
Tell me how you met your wife

You're the second grandfather that I never got to know
You're the kindly old man that charms everyone's hearts
You're the self-sacrificial good samaritan
That would bend over backwards for anyone

Tell me a tale,
Papa Joe
And sing me a song
As you fly on into dawn
So spread your wings Papa Joe
I'm gonna miss you Papa Joe
I should've told you these things
Papa Joe, when I had the chance

But tell me a story,
Papa Joe
Let's sit by the fire and sing songs
Would you tell me a story, Papa Joe,
When I see you again
On the Other Side? ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom freedom feels like the noose is gone http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8067895/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/8067895/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 18:28:43 PST =Black-Rose-In-Bloom fun stuff http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7974332/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7974332/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 18:00:49 PST Category: Blogging

I had the best day today. Gramma got out of the hospital, I saw my dad, bought some really neat jewelry for cheap at an antique shop downtown, and bought myself, finally, a GUITAR!! I'm so happy. I got a kickin' puzzle on the dining room table that i've been pickin at since yesterday night when I got home, and now this guitar that i'll eventually learn to play, till then i'm just tinkering, experimenting, playing by ear ya know? It's lots of fun. My grandparents don't know yet, i don't think though. But when I go to take it to the shop tomorrow, they'll figure it out!! I can't wait to see the look on their faces. I got a neat looking strap for it, too, and some neat picks that have a vampire biting someone's neck. But the strap, it has some tribal design and yin-yangs. I contemplated getting one that had a HazMat warning on it, but... I decided against it. I mean it would have been cheaper, only 11 bucks, but i got the other one, which was like 18. I'm happy. I'd say that the guitar was THE impulse buy of the year. LOL!

Currently Listening :
Greatest Hits
By Red Hot Chili Peppers
"breaking the girl"
see related ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom I'm so friggin' happy I could cry http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7868959/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7868959/ Sat, 11 Feb 2006 21:58:22 PST =Black-Rose-In-Bloom i've just now noticed ... http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7811214/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7811214/ Sun, 05 Feb 2006 16:30:20 PST Current mood: loved
Category: Romance and Relationships

I'm so wowed out right now it's unbelievable. A friend of mine I've known since I was in middle school, well last night we had our 2nd date, and it went well. I didn't think I'd like what he'd become, which really isn't all that bad now, but I spent a few minutes with him on our first date and ... well I really like him. I can foresee a happy, stable relationship if he and I go further than just casual dating.

Heh... we had our first 2 kisses last night. It was crazy. Cause we were standing outside waiting for my granddad to come and get me, and we were so cold! So I opened up my wool trenchcoat and said, hey man it's wool and warm, cause he had made a comment about being cold, right? So we're just standing there, all cold and huddled together, and we lean back to talk to each other and we just look at each other and the next thing we know we're kissing. And I'm thinking, Hey I could get used to this now.

Then, a minute or two later, it happens again. Then my granddad pulls up, and I get in the car and he asks if the guy needs a ride home. I ask him, and are you sure? He says no, he doesn't need a ride home. See, he doesn't have a vehicle at the moment, and it's not like he was just a minute down the road ya know, so I'm like, no stop the car that answer's not good enough. So Granddad stops the car and I get out and I tell him, I'm not taking no for an answer, now get in the car it's too cold for you to be walkin'! And so Pawpaw gives him a ride home and we go home and I'm left the rest of the night thinking, oh my god he kissed me. It's one of those, out-in-space, ditzy-grin-wearing, amazed feelings, you know? I know every one of you reading this has felt that feeling. It's great. I really hope it goes somewhere. I know that if it goes further, we both would be so happy together. We have so much in common! Oh, you guys, don't let me get my hopes up. I don't think I'm up for getting let down again after needlessly getting my hopes up. Keep me realistic, ya'll. Please!!!
Renee

Currently listening:
Horse of a Different Color
By Big & Rich
Release date: By 04 May, 2004 ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom spiritual self-enlightenment http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7765926/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7765926/ Tue, 31 Jan 2006 21:17:03 PST =Black-Rose-In-Bloom More to come http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7745620/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7745620/ Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:21:05 PST ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom payday; getting more money http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7686955/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7686955/ Mon, 23 Jan 2006 15:59:37 PST =Black-Rose-In-Bloom ouch! http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7567045/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7567045/ Tue, 10 Jan 2006 17:43:39 PST

I feel great, all in all, but... i'm definitely in pain. I got my tongue pierced this afternoon. Dude, I've bitten my tongue and it hurt worse than piercing my tongue. But, give it a couple hours. It hurts to swallow, it hurts to talk, it hurts to eat, it hurts, generally, to have a tongue. So I'm going crazy with the benzocaine ointment, on top of sterilizing every hour with gly oxide and listerine. You know... It just makes me think. We freaks pay 40, 50 bucks for some (really great) guy to put a hole somewhere in our flesh. *Shakes head* and love every minute of it. I have to teach myself how to eat, drink, swallow, and talk all over again!! LMAO. Anyway, just figured I'd give everyone the masochistic update. Love you all to Hell.

Renee/Raevynne ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom blah blah. http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7548558/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7548558/ Sun, 08 Jan 2006 20:10:16 PST =Black-Rose-In-Bloom quiz i took from a friend http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7521475/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7521475/ Thu, 05 Jan 2006 20:50:42 PST
I said I liked you?
I kissed you?
I lived next door to you?
I stole something?
I was hospitalized?
I got into a fight and you weren't there?
I ran away from home?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:

Personality?
Eyes?
Face?
Hair?
Clothes?
Mannerisms?
Family?
Sense of Humor?

WOULD YOU:

Be my friend?
Like to make me feel better?
Spread rumors about me?
Keep a secret if I told you one?
Loan me some cash?
Hold my hand?
Take a bullet for me?
Keep in touch?
Try and solve my problems?
Love me?
Date me?

put an x in the () for each you would do for me.

() go out with me?
() give me your number?
() let me kiss you?
() watch a movie with me...
() let me take you out to dinner?
() be my bf/gf?
() have a fling with me?
() Listen to me if I called you even if you were out with all of your friends?
() buy me a drink like a sobe or soda?
() take me home for the night?
() Would you let me sleep in your bed?
() Sing car kareoke w/ me?
() sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
() re-post this for me to answer your questions?
() Let me give you a piggyback ride?

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do/Did you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. If i was Ron Burgundy from Anchorman, who would you be?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you? ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom rambling http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7357565/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7357565/ Mon, 19 Dec 2005 18:48:28 PST Somehow,
I know I'll make it through
Sometime,
I'll have
A gentle way out
Way out of my own traps
Way to stop demanding
So much of myself
Expecting too much from love
Someday,
I'll learn
How to take it slow
Some time,
I'll get around
To learning how it goes
But until then,
Hate patches up these little holes ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom no subject http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7233024/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/7233024/ Mon, 05 Dec 2005 20:13:46 PST =Black-Rose-In-Bloom a brief public exposure of my heart http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/6957267/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/6957267/ Fri, 04 Nov 2005 20:31:16 PST
Well, things look up much much higher than usual now, and yet there is one tiny morsel of bad news. First things first, my GED score is in--overall, I got a 3420. Damn good, I think. I now have a job at K-Mart for those of you who don't know--I'm a cashier, sure, but it's cash, right? The job is so un-mentally-stimulating, it's hard as hell to stand endlessly for 6 to 9 hours each shift, but... it's cash, so... whatever! And I'm set up to register for college at GCCC on Dec. 2nd, granted that I have my FAFSA application turned in (using my parents' tax info for 2004) so I have financial aid options. And, the bad--a while back I got in touch with the investigator of my case, and he said there's too much reasonable doubt--i.e., there were no witnesses, the culprit never denied the boxcutter or intercourse, but claimed he moved the boxcutter from his center console to the door rather than pulled it on me, and that the intercourse was consensual (can I barf now?!) rather than the big R word. So, I said, if you can manage to get a confession out of him then we'll go forward with it, but if you can't which I'm sure you won't, then don't even bother to call because I'm not putting myself through an emotionally difficult trial that will only end up letting him get away with it. Justice will be served in the end, I trust in that. Whether it's the law, or by divine interception--I don't care which one. I'm just worried that he'll strike at little kids next, as he lives right across the street from an elementary school. The man is sick, dangerous, and residing in the wrong area of town for this to be OK to any degree. But yet, what is there that I can do? Nothing except sit and helplessly watch. But I know I'll get over it. It'll take time, and if Panama City had a support group it'd help even more. But until then, ... life goes on, and as such I plan to keep very busy at work to keep my mind off of this. This also means that although I plan to stay on Xanga, Myspace, and all and keep my blogs updated, there will never again be a mention of what has happened to me. Not of the case, not of the perpetrator, because I just want to forget that it ever happened at all.

On another note, I've had a particular ex of mine on my mind for a very long time now. When I first moved to Blountstown toward the end of my 8th grade year, I met this guy named Jeffrey Uhrick, jr. At first I thought he was cocky and arrogant, but it grew to be so charming that I just... fell, and we got together. Well there was the fact that I had to hide it from my family, as he was already graduated from high school. About two months (and only one kiss) later, he was shipped off for Basic Training in the army and I left him, naively assuming I'd never see him again. Well he came back for a visit when it was all over, and I learned that he'd gotten married--and divorced--while he was gone. Since we got together, there was always fierce chemistry between the two of us. It's just that, I was too young to understand what it was. I was too young to feel just how complete he made me feel. I was too young to really understand anything about that. But, he moved to Marianna about 4 years ago and that's the last I've heard from him. I can't stop thinking about him--where is he now, who is he with, is he even still alive, does he ever think of me, does he love me the way i've always loved him, ... stuff like that. I do love him--always have, and it took this lengthy absence of him from my life to see as much--and I would give up everything just to see him one more time, just to have the chance to tell him that I love him with all of me. I'm not looking to date anyone, not looking for anything from anybody, but if he proposed to me tomorrow, I'd probably cry in complete rapture while holding him like I'd never let go... Even if we don't ever get together again, I just want the chance to tell him how I feel now--how I've always felt. Just... to say I at least tried, to say at least he knows. Because I know that this feeling will never fade away. I've tried to find him. I've tried everything short of hiring a private investigator, and I won't do that because that's just creepy. So, I guess, if any of you know him, relay the message, and if not, please don't offer any sympathies or apologies to this because it won't change anything at all. I just want to see him one more time before I die, and if I never accomplish anything else and lose everything I've gained just to have that chance then I'd do it without a second thought. With this, I close my heart again to the general public and retire for the evening.

Eternally,

Renee Natasha Witgenstein

Currently Listening:
Hold Me Now
By Thompson Twins ]]> =Black-Rose-In-Bloom ....? http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/6875958/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/6875958/ Wed, 26 Oct 2005 18:06:27 PDT =Black-Rose-In-Bloom new stuff http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/6734010/ http://Black-Rose-In-Bloom.deviantart.com/journal/6734010/ Mon, 10 Oct 2005 19:55:39 PDT =Black-Rose-In-Bloom