deviantART: by:BlackRoseDagger

deviantART: by:BlackRoseDagger http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:BlackRoseDagger&section=today deviantART RSS for by:BlackRoseDagger en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:01:02 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Non Stables http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/25307406/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/25307406/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 11:09:03 PDT
The Starlite Island

There are no stables here, no fences but every morning there is a rainbow that springs up over the island (in honor to Rainbow Brite's horse, the first horse I fell in love with) Now this will be a palce any horse is welcomed to roam it is quite large so I will go into detail about certain areas. Now there are no boats allowed to this area, no cars, there is one house that is 2 stories and this is where - I - live merely to help any horses or such as well as to keep an eye on them. How a equine gets here is by a portal created by non other than my Wildfire, my unicorn who in order to have your equine come here for a vacation, or retirement or even just a visit will be to draw my Wildfire Sunrise seen with them. Not a breeding pic unless specified!

The Siren's Beach
White sand that surrounds the island tehre is no trash, no shipwreckage, little wadding pools as it is all quite natural one can see dolphins in the ocean jumping around and there are no other pieces of land seen from any angle.

Blood Meadow
Wars were once raged upon this land when it was apart of the main land long ago, the blood of horses, people soaked so much into the earth that everything is red when it blooms. Trees, flowers.. it is a Meadow except for one large tree upon a hill that is like a great oak in its bark can be seen the contorted faces of the dead.

The Emerald Forest
A forest that never snows, never turns white, always green like the summer that circles the whole place and covers the area mostly ranging from deer, squirrels, and birds seen around. No predators and deer if the growth is too much are removed to other forests.

The Snowy Mountains
In the center are three mountains, there are two real big ones and one small. The right hand one is called Mount Lore, the left one is Mount Moon and the small one is Mount Fire.

Mount Lore
A tall mountain that its peak rises above the clouds often a place where pegasus love to gather. It is constantly snowing.

Mount Moon
It seems when ever the moon comes into view of the island it likes to seem as if it sits upon this peak that many can see to seem like it watches over the island.

Mount Fire
Is a dormant volcano, has lava deep underneath and has hot springs all around at its base!

Lover's Valley
A valley seeming always in spring time, a place designated where lovers go to be alone. Any sort of foliage can be seen here with a little Lake calls the Mirror.

My Home
A 2 story house, victorian style, with about 8 rooms, one is mine, a computer room (trust me I need my computer!) a library, a Dojo, nd 8 extra rooms for guests. Probably owners who wish to stay around and watch their equines. A very large kitchen, a living room with a fireplace and about 3 bathrooms. One of which is in my room for my use only!

Now anything can happen here, though fights are prohibited from getting too rough as Wildfire will break it up before anyone dies and heal wounds. If one equine causes too many fights they are banned from the island! That goes for owners too.

My Equine Guardians

Wildfire Sunrise
Breed : Fire type Unicorn
Home ; Mount Fire, usually sleeps deep in the lava and keeps the volcano from becoming active, also is what keeps the island from being covered in snow aside from the other two mountain peaks.
Personality : Calm, Observant, friendly just a bit isn't too friendly, or flirty. Likes to roam alone has no herd and refuses to allow anyone else to ride her but me.
Breeding Rules : Currently seeking a mate, prefers only one and they can be normal or a bit odd, she is a smart mare, also has a human form but refuses to take it unless needing to get into places her equine form cannot. She has an odd ability to run so fast she can leap long strides often viewed as flying and opens portals to bring other equines and their riders here.

Appearance : Black coat, now its black no blue or gray, fully black, with a mane when she is docile is red but when she uses her powers or is angry it turns into fire that is so hot at the next line its usually blue. Her eyes normally blue sapphire when angry looks like glistening rubies. Her horn is a black color, curved from age like a dagger or sword and reaches about 2 ft long. Is sturdy so it isn't about to break. I have a pic of her I did a photo manipluation of her that I will post. She is a gianti... ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Faving and DeviWatches http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/25073426/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/25073426/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:09:37 PDT
DeviWatches :: Something in your art, speaks to me, it calls and lures me in bringing your art to life.

Faving :: I have ertain charactes I roleplay, now I don't tamper with certain art, possibly black and white photos if anything but they come as close as I can find to showing people an idea of what my character looks like. I haven't the patience to draw them my own cause I will draw part of it then either my mood will be entirely ruined from interruptions. But nevertheless I give credit and link to other various artist whose art here inspires. And sometimes because I am a horse freak I will fav unipegs, pegasi, unicorns, or any equine type picture to my little folder.

Someday I will pick one of my many favorite artists from here and ask them to commisson my characters.

My Irish Samurai, Riley with the red cresent moon scars on the left side of her face with silver hair a primal yet stoic figure; doomed to roam alone. Eyes forever gold and looking like a wolf, the nature that she will always exhibit no matter what form or what race she remains as.

My Wildfire Sunrise, the fire unicorn whose flames are so hit near the neck they are blue as a body ebony hues rippling with muscles that flow not just strength but power and beauty. Also has a human form that can only be described as Red Monika from Battle Chasers. (yes over sized breasts, I put it logically she takes hman form and size.. the size of that 16ft tall equine body had to go somewhere!)

Kendra, my red dragon with a heart of a thief stolen by a thief. A story going on with my boyfriend in how they fight, she does not want to be claimed yet he loves her so dearly. They travel together as she sees she loves him too but a red dragon with a half elf? Can they co-exist?

Vivican, the ever changing hair from violet to blue or green, her eyes remain purple as she flirts with men but desires women. Tattoos along her arms in runic designs with black wings tattoo'd on her back along with the elvish word for Asteria written on her dearire, the princess that stole her hear and was cruelly taken from her because of politics.

If anyone would like to know more about any of these ladies, I have stories written about them or you feel inspired to draw one be my guest I'll gladly give you details on them. They are my most precious creations.

]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Life goes on and on and on.... then its a drop! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/22690296/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/22690296/ Tue, 20 Jan 2009 09:49:15 PST
Life is always being its stressful pain, not only do I not have a job but no medical, and that was fun because I had this huge boil on my ass that made it terrible to even walk or sit. Thankfully it got cut, drained and plugged up. Now its healing, itching like hell that I want to be a dog with worms rubbing my ass on the carpet for a good scratch. I never had such annoyance before... poison ivy doesn't count.

To Artists : I have.... so many artists I watch, I call them my Harem Palette. Seriously I collect them, I go either by searching for a near reference of a char in my head so I can roleplay them better stumble on fine artwork or photos and they come to life. I just have to gnab them, now if only I could get money for commisons but sadly I'm broke! Oh well.. so to those I have faved, sorry I don't leave comments.. I never know what to say beyond 'Wow... that is awesome!' sounds childish... but to you all I say thank you for showing me your beauty!

]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Life in its Perfect View http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/10754597/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/10754597/ Fri, 17 Nov 2006 10:20:00 PST Life is ever fleeting in its grace like gossamer wings to spirit away on moonlit rays.

My life seems to have taken a turn in luck finally, I have what I've always wanted; Love, life, job, money. And in that order too.

I have been close to love before, with say one man and he was in New York but I was simply too young to truly appreciate him. He knows I do love him but not in that way anymore, the way a girl loves her old crush that was her first knight in shining armor and will always hold a special place in my heart. But now I have a new love, one not of fairy tales and well wishes but modern age and strength. He gives me courage, helps me be confident that the world won't end if something goes wrong and that I am actually worth something in this pointless world.

I had a job at the vet hospital but that wasn't working out as I'd hoped, something felt so wrong with it and I believe it was the empathy I feel when among the sad animals it is hard to block out and if my own sorrow is anywhere close to the surface its just shattered. So I left it, I'd like to say they fired me but they didn't... I left it because I didn't belong there. But good news, the next day I got my old job back; Touch of Romance. It happened interesting enough I walked in cause Victoria's Secret is nothing but a bra and panty line now, they moved my Fredericks of Hollywood so I went to the only reliable place for lingere. Once I walked in, there was my old friend La'tanya. A rather big black woman with odd teeth but a warm heart and a sharp mind it was pleasant to hug her for she always showed those strong vibes that just make you feel like you could do anything with a smile.

I have my own room again, no sharing with computers or kids or sleeping on the couch but my very own room and I bought my own mattress to boot.

I play WoW, though because my ex is being a selfish bastard even if he doesn't play the fucking game anymore he throws a fit over fake crap that is nothing but digital coding with a nice image. I offered to pay him 300 bucks, not fake money but REAL cash! And he turns it down, everyone says he's an idiot and frankly he should realize that life isn't about that sort so I spent that money that would have been his, on food and clothes for myself.

Funny thing is I have over 1000 bucks in my account right now, I could have afforded to pay him that not to buy the account but to borrow it until I moved my toons over. So, I'll just level my new toons up, already in 2 days I got a lvl 20 tauren hunter and a 20 shadow priest in the works, both guilds I have them in are pitching in to help level me and even buy me shit. How funny when he was an ass to people in the game they didn't do shit for him but me I'm sweet and nice, I get pampered; note for all you gamers - putting up with shit gets you places faster than giving shit.

Life is as perfect as it will ever get for me, and I humbly thank the gods for what they'd allowed me to view through my life.

]]> ~BlackRoseDagger rambling http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/8896742/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/8896742/ Sat, 27 May 2006 21:23:57 PDT
First good thing, I am still with my guy, Daniel Breshears who is 39 and I am 23, his birthday will be coming soon but either way I believe I love him. Not as the way so many people think they do of course, love isn't sponateous because if it comes fast it goes faster. Hence... why I know I love him because he has grown on me, lovely no? Even his habits, like his chewing tobacco, or his snoring in my ear when he comes to bed. And yet I love playing with his hair, the way he treats me and how he sometimes sneaks up behind me to nibble my neck as it drives me insane.

PLus now I have an interview at Target on Tuesday which means Monday I need to head to my parents place and pick up more clothes, some of my stuff as well as my damn little pic storage box to use on this laptop at times. Plus to see my pets and introduce my boyfriend to my parents since,... yeah I haven't let them meet yet. Already my mother will think he's robbing the craddle but hey if its a rockin don't come a knocking. But I might actually have a job, a shitty job but hey it is a job at least now.

Also I have become addicted to a game called World of Warcraft, on a server Emerald Dream as a lvl 60 Tauren Druid in the Restoration tree. She has proven to be again and again the best character on the game even if I make little other ones I love her so much and haven't ever modified her. Although... I HATE how her tier 1 and 2 gear is gonna look >_< but if I get to tier 3 so help me god I'm celebrating with killing all the alliance in the damn server! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Life http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/7695963/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/7695963/ Tue, 24 Jan 2006 14:41:20 PST
I was born that girl who would have been destroyed, would have been killed because I was not wanted when the notice came that my mother's belly was swelling with me inside and my father had already a dislike for her first two children. What was the difference with me? Why was I not killed? My mother's beliefs and the moment my father felt me kick his hand as if to say 'too bad I'm coming' was probably the more instances that I would fight to stay alive.

I was born three weeks early, even then I never took the easy rode born with an extra thumb and no anus, a still undeveloped liver in my fragile body I was pulled away from my mother to lay in the incubator alone. My father was the first one to come to me, I'd been crying and the nurses would say 'She cries so loud her face is so red.' But when he held me my tiny fingers wrapped around his finger and I was quiet for even as a child I had gifts; I knew who he was.

He would come to feed me the bottle of my mother's milk, hold me while my mother was recopperating in the bed and in this case it is no wonder why I am daddy's little girl. I knew my mother too, her touch would calm me and the nurses never once turned them away. I had always been a sensitive child to my parents, bonded to them both in almost equality as my mother was that lioness who roared and defended me. My father was that king of beasts who lid about on his ass but when it came time he would bite off the heads of those who would harm me one way or another.

Growing up I was that shy child, easily pushed around not because I was too timid to shove back for I knew my strength but because I did not want the other kids once shoved to burst into tears and make me feel awful. I preferred to be pushed aside and keep it all in not allowing them to see me cry. Growing up sensitive to vibes has been tough because as I can feel the distress, the joy or anger from others and my only comfort was my pets. Somehow a pet neutralizes the vibes that flow in me and I become calm, probably because they themselves do not feel as we do.

I lived a life where my father's screams, his yelling striked fear inside me and would often make me burst into tears. It was heavily unnerving, it made me afraid to get others angry more so than I already was and so I was a push over from that fact. I won't go through my childhood on how I was often humilated because frankly all kids go through that phase. Nor will I bother you with the details when the time my father spoke the words that shattered me. 'I wish you'd never been born' because I was there when my father and mother had the fight; I was just in the way.

I didn't really have stable friends, they were often doing their own thing and I was the loner who preferred to wander around watching, feeling, and listening to things. Most think they are an outcast when they are literally shamed by others of their generation, funny when you are accepted but what makes you an outcast is how you think of yourself. I thought of myself as a strange being in a human shell, who hated feeling everything others did and simply wanted to run away to live among horses and let natural things happen.

I will explain I have had my first mental break down at the age of 14, you might find that odd or not, but when you also have dreams that come true and you are shown there is no doubt about it; you will break like I did. I won't discuss what it was that broke me, I'm probably still repairing for I haven't opened myself that deep or naive like before.

What do I search for in this life time? One thing I have search for that continues more strongly than the search for love; my soul mate. Not the soul mate as in a lover or true love, but the other half of my soul who isn't a human but rather a horse. My Darkness, it is hisname for he has been with me spiritually since the age of 5 when I remember him in a dream where he protected me and in any dream should I call out for him he would come to save me. I carry him always at the back of my mind, I feel him and enjoy it when he is nearby.

My other spirit animals who are forms I can assume are the White Wolf, Snow is her name, my Black Panther, Shadow and my falcon Ariel then finally my Baraccuda who has no name. Believe me it needs no name.

What exactly am I? Am I a witch? A pagan? Some cultist? Not exactly I am something different from those titles, I do not study books or scrolls to know my magic, it is a part of me and I merely feel it flow not control it. Just learn where to divert it to. I am not all knowning as my mate... ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Smile, its Christmas Day http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/7412165/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/7412165/ Sun, 25 Dec 2005 09:56:20 PST
Christmas isn't about getting material presents, it is about making us smile; it isn't the birth of a dead maytr that brought to us this gift. We bring it with a smile grin given to a stranger.

So if you celebrate this holiday, or perhaps you don't and you think it is a waste of time. Christmas isn't a symbol of presents, for the richest person is in how many smiles and hugs they get that day; its simply a day to spread love and people accept you for that single, simple, joy. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Rant http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/7204187/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/7204187/ Fri, 02 Dec 2005 14:19:49 PST Ranting--------------------------------
Am I so different from people? Yes. I am. My life isn't all peaches and cream and yet right now I'm happy with the way my life is going even if it throws in a few loops. And yet even as I know I'm happy with myself, the way things are going there is no way I can ignore it when my mind begins to think, to dwell on things that will come to pass because I know they will come when I least expect them to pop up and scream at me. Am I normal? Hell no. Am I sane? Depends what do you think is sane?

Anyhow that is all my ranting for today. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Update and Happiness http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/7119866/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/7119866/ Wed, 23 Nov 2005 03:10:01 PST Job-------
Well it seems I've been working my ass off, even got called in on a day off though I made sure the next day I was not home to get their calls if they wanted to drag me off. I spent the week working, off a few days and I plan to get drunk this week. It a holiday and hell I don't work until 2 on Saturday so hell I'm going to try it out. I have to work on my people skills, I've been speaking softly again, and I need to speak up louder. I'm partly deaf so I don't always hear the tone of my voice like other people do. I get paid this friday.. w00t! Crisp! Ok I know I sound stupid but it has been ages since I brought home an actual paycheck that was at a job that lasted more than a few days. I will get my leather bustier with strings over the front, I will have it one way or another!

-------Home Life-------
My mother got herself a job working with children, they love her somuch that when they heard she was looking else where to work they upped her hours so they could keep her. My father is spending time at the doctors for his bi-weekly checkup and his computer meetings where he wins prizes to use here at home. My family scolded me when I went out with Dan and didn't come home until 2pm the next day. Yeah, yeah should have called. I know tomorrow morning my mother will scold me or tease me for spending the morning with John until 10pm. I promised him a lap dance as his birthday present, have to say I did a rather good job at it and hell it will probably do it again. I can actually dance, which is great. My cat Lily loves me each day, Cookie adores me and each time I come home she is estatic as if I left for a year again. I'm never moving out of California again. I'm home... this is where I belong as life is finally turning great for me. I know somewhere I'm gonna trip but I refuse to let it keep me down long.

-----------Love Life------------
I have a fantastic duo of lovers, I always thought I would have one guy and a girl, turns out it is two guys. Dan who is much older than me, about my age mentally with experience and great additude. His truck might look crappy but his stereo system kicks ass, like a club just cruising inside and he is great in bed. We never do it just once, it is usually more then 9 times each time we get together which thankfully isn't everyday. I know he and I will never be a couple but I'm not looking for that. He offers me that piece I've been missing; fun. Just go out, carefree, drink, laugh, chat, have sex and then sleep or go out and dance.

Then there is John Rhea, a guy who offers me that laughter, intelligent conversation or simply a discussion of stuff with no pressure and an open mind. Someone I can speak to about my magic, about my spirit animals.. my bird has chosen him which might be why we were so drawn to each other in some sex. It at first was just friends with sexual tension, then noses touched, we kissed softly at first a mere brush of lips and then full blown passion I've been seeking. I love just kissing him, thought of pinning him and simply playing a little dominant. He doesn't fight me unless I want him to, and I love to cuddle with him. He spoons me from behind and we just fall asleep anywhere. I like it, it is just what I need in life. I'm bisexual, yes... and I prefer women's bodies but I love the way a man makes me feel. Not a boy, a man.

-----------Drama Update-----------
Jessica and Jason got on my last nerves, they seem to be less unstable than before, Jason said he and I are different in our sexual beliefs... I can have sex without love and he can't without it. And yet ... (here's where its funny) ...he says he had sex with Jessica because he was bored and she was there. So Jason, are we so different? Or are you in love with Jessica? Frankly I don't give a damn either way, live your life I got my own and I'm happy. Its finally stable and the only thing on my mind now is Thanksgiving... I'm thankful I never have to talk to you again. Sorry but Jessica was my last string. Deal with your drama, and don't ever lie to me about smoking. You won't change.. so there never was hope we'd get back together. Boy, Jeeba... wish I had your addresses, I want to send you the shotglasses that have the marijuana leaf, and pothead comments. You guys would love them. Take care, and Kyle sorry if you hate me. Take care. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger I finally got my job! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6890915/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6890915/ Fri, 28 Oct 2005 12:31:38 PDT
I have been re-reading a book series since I also play online this story line based on the Anita Blake Series, I play a female werewolf who is leader of the pack and is having relations with the Master of the City (head vampire) and a Lamia (Snake shifter). Not to mention her pack is nearly all women but 3 males are there too.

Anyhow... the good news... I finally got myself a job! Listen to this folks.. gues where it is? A high class adult porn shop, Touch of Romance right across from the Fox Hills Mall. I'll be working there Monday well I get my paperwork done then and then I start working. Talking to people about porno, toys, accessories, lube and of course my fave I get to be around lingerie all fuckin day long! w00t!! This is great.. anyhow... just gotta type that up, let people know you can swing on by and meet me. I've been looking forward to this all day and I will be one happy happy girl xD. Now back to reading Lunatic Cafe by Laurell K. Hamilton... ciao babes! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Devil Red http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6822961/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6822961/ Thu, 20 Oct 2005 20:53:09 PDT The line between good and bad is often so blurry you never know which side you're truly on.

---------News---------
I went for an interview this wednesday for a job at A Touch of Romance, its an adult store but I won't know if I got the job until come Friday of next week. And then I have to go through a 90 day training period which blows but hey it is the best offer I've had so far. And I know I scored high in the interview, I was in an environment I am comfortable with and I even said an answer to the manager that she even said took her a month or two just to learn herself when working there. I don't care if my parents say it is too long, I plan to work there.

--------Artwork Update-----------
I'm working on

of his anthro rat, I should have a sketch soon to scan though these days the damn scanner won't work right so I'll try using my digi cam as a back up scanner.

--------Info ---------------
I've recently been fooling around with my digi cam and taking pictures, what you see there as my two new recents is what happens when I feel that gothic touch. If you want the originals I suggest you e-mail me, my yahoo ID is at the top. Have a wonderful day! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Road of Life's highway http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6668086/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6668086/ Mon, 03 Oct 2005 11:35:36 PDT Do we ever know which road we're walking on in this hetic pathway of life, we take turns without even stepping off the curb and unknown to us until we fall flat on our face on the gravel.

Life itself seems to be taking its weird turns again, I loose one friend because of a stupid reason but frankly I'm tired of clinging to relationships that simply get me abused because they can't have their way. I'm living with my parents again, it seems again the same old route with my parents jabbering away that I'm on this computer way too much and frankly I agree but nothing else to do. (yes I should draw but no inspiration lately) I find myself wanting that hidden place away from people, simply to lay down in a meadow and let it envelop me while the stars shimmer in the night sky. But w all know that won't happen, its just not meant to be in this day and age.

I've been getting calls from men and women, messages an e-mails of those who want to meet me, experience me but sometimes it makes me wonder if these people would even stick around long enough to realize; I'm strange. I sleep now a days on the living room couch, it is comfortable enough for me until my parents move around in the living room with tv and music waking me up. It can get rather boring and annoying to experience this every waking day. I miss having my own room, doing as I pleased but my roomie couldn't handle it and guess I just rubbed her the wrong way. She's no longer my friend frankly, I'm done with that woman saying I used her and was immature. Don't call friends names unless you want it to come up and hit you in the face.

Don't matter, I left before the earthquake happened over there, it is prime land for such to keep happening and too bad but her house will collapse. The new ones are always the first to break. I miss her cat, I'd grown so attached and if she was giving him up I'd take him in a heart beat because she treated him just wrong; cats are not kids and hate being held on their backs. You treat an animal with love and care, they will treat you with respect. Hell, my parents had a moody cat cause everyone ignored her and she got fat because she got depressed not to mention picked fights with the others nor would she let anyone touch her. I came and began to give her that affection she missed and now she is my fave fat cat, she is loving to everyone now no longer is moody but happy as well as losing weight. I get along better with animals than humans because I don't understand humanity and its obvious stupidity.

There are things I think humans are stupid for doing, frankly I have better thing to worry about than those and helping my few friends keep from destroying themselves for power.

People have said things about me lately: Not of this world, carefree and wild, confident and strong, found myself and content with it.

Is any of this true? You tell me cause I can't see it, I feel happy with who I am just not the status of my living and such. I'll never be happy until I live alone with my cat, dog and horse, have a lover or two, make enough money to live without stress and finally ready to just... die.

Also need to clarify on some things from a few journals back to those who actually read my little entries.

Boy and Jeeba: I miss you guys! I don't care about the pot smoking, hell it made you two make me laugh when I needed it and Jason and I were on rocky road. You take good care of pussmunch, and get that damn cat fixed or she'll be stuck like that! Beat everyone on WoW for me, I found some of my online buddies play it too on a few other servers. nd make sure Kyle Harrison stay waaay behind you. LOL

Gift Art: (update)
1. Done with hers -- Titled Cheetah Girl in my gallery so go look. I might make it a little different some point.
2. Working on

doing his rat anthro, man.. well I'll do it this weekend perhaps.
3. Still waiting for others so I got a few openings here.. Come on people! Make me work for something xD
4.
5.
You'd think with all the people I knew on here they'd be sending me stuff to do. Ah well.

Ideas:
1. A new ID (me in red leather outfit and holding a frying pan with the new nickname *The BoinkMeister* running joke with my ex Maximus)
2. My character Wildfire with her pet InuYasha (yesm her pet is InuYasha, a storyline where she found him and taught him a few new interesting things about manners and pampering not to mention trained him for the bed room ^__- might be a few different verisons)
3. Nariko with her pets Whisp and Fern... I am gonna use my picture as how Nariko will be posed.
4. Anime verison of mysel... ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger This Sucks http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6518868/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6518868/ Fri, 16 Sep 2005 09:02:03 PDT ~BlackRoseDagger Update on Gift Art http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6460744/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6460744/ Fri, 09 Sep 2005 16:43:08 PDT Note: If you want to have a picture done let me know. I'm doing art for a few friends on here.

List
1.

(In Progress - Sketching Done)
2.

(Awaiting Details)
3. (Vacant)
4. (Vacant)
5. (Vacant) ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Gift Art http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6363038/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6363038/ Mon, 29 Aug 2005 19:02:26 PDT

: of her fav animal in anthro form with her fav mythical animal. I'm bored looking for a job so I want a little break now and then. But I need your help. I want people to send me their ideas of somethin they want me to draw. But I'm only taking 5 ideas right now so first come first serve people!

Details: 2 characters no more in the picture, nothing too complex can be a person with their pet or companion or you with your fav animal. Details of what is on the body send me I'll pick which ones show and what ones don't. Landscape is optional, include fav color or what colors you want something to be.

List
1. :

: (in progress)
2. (open)
3. (open)
4. (open)
5. (open) ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Happy Birthday to Me http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6335126/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6335126/ Fri, 26 Aug 2005 15:32:13 PDT ~BlackRoseDagger A Window Veiw into my Fragile Soul http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6329266/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6329266/ Thu, 25 Aug 2005 21:54:29 PDT
"No, I can't, I'll be fine." I say.

"Come here, let it all out like you did before." He tells me in his reassuring voice.

"No, I don' have that pleasure anymore, I hurt you, I gave you up and I was mean to you. Besides she needs you now, that gentle one in bed needs your arms more than me. And if I go into them again, I'll fall for you all over. I can't crumble now, I need to be strong and stand up, to hold myself for a little longer until I know I won't break like china plates."

Its true, even thinking about it I'm on the verge again with tears in my eyes. I have to learn to be strong, I may act it but I'm surely as frafile as a glass vase. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger New Art http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6281035/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6281035/ Sat, 20 Aug 2005 16:30:56 PDT ~BlackRoseDagger Freedom http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6265281/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6265281/ Fri, 19 Aug 2005 15:26:32 PDT Freedom. Thou name sounds so sweet to me, that caged bird with clipped wings.

I saw you in the eyes of the cat and with the wag of the dogs tail.

How sweet it was when your strong wind lifted me above the clouds and for the first time... I saw the world.

Nice way to start the week before my birthday when I turn 23, gods it seems like the years are getting there but not too fast and I'm no longer in Georgia. I left that state with those pothead friends and immature boyfriend. I just took a long dip at the beach with my green bikini and long skirt, been so long since I smelled that ocean breeze, felt the sand beneath my toes and the sun on my back.

I left my boyfriend, by the time I did it seemed like we were friends and it was wearing thin with his behavior never adjusting. Perhaps I am just over critical about things, either way he was using death threats of himself to keep me there and frankly this may seem cold but he can go shoot himself now; I don't care. I don't mind if the guy cries once in a while but everyday, every time he thinks of me it was just sad. And then nearly got me killed just cause I wouldn't give back a promise of coming back. Frankly some promises are made to be broken.

That means I'm single again boys and girls, I'm not into a relationship just having fun with life. I've had enough stress and crap that frankly I just want a good time. Get laid, go out on dates, tease, no pressure aside from having a job. I'll be living in Bakersfield with a close friend, soon to have a real job and make my life better. I suppose that's all I have to say, so eeryone have a great day!! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Free!! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6254721/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6254721/ Wed, 17 Aug 2005 17:35:07 PDT ~BlackRoseDagger Heading back home http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6191236/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/6191236/ Wed, 10 Aug 2005 19:10:52 PDT ~BlackRoseDagger Blah.. blah.. boing http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/5498672/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/5498672/ Mon, 30 May 2005 02:24:32 PDT
I have been dreaming of a laptop so I have a better chance of placing my good ole pics for everyone to see but that means I need a job. Good news I might get one if I bug Walmart every morning until they set me up an interview. So far I wish I had a 9 - 5 job doing anything but fast food cause of my hearing problem I'm not great and my bad breath. Brush your teeth every day 3 times!!!

I've currently had to resort to getting pornmags so I have other poses and other expressions than some damn entertainment. Anyway, still on a 'quest' for friends to hang out with over here in Georgia... its my holy grail xD.

So... since its late I'll only leave this.

True Immortality is not the extent of living flesh;
But sacrifice of all virtures suchas pride, vanity or greed;
For love or the one you love. - Reisha

Goodnight everyone!! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Need an Artist for a Challenge!! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/5334117/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/5334117/ Wed, 11 May 2005 21:50:51 PDT
Comic Artist Wanted
I have a script of a comic that I want to bring to life, and I want someone to find anyone who wants to do it for free and fun, no stress, no deadline, something to have fun with just a few things (no changing my words). Its a comic strip of a character I played on the table top roleplaying of Demon: The Fallen. If anyone's interested in the idea I have it all written up and some ideas but open to other ideas of how to do it as well. No cover page idea of it yet so that can also be done by the person or someone else. Let me know.

The return of a writer. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Stories and Poetry http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/5306393/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/5306393/ Sun, 08 May 2005 21:34:05 PDT
Well folks, I finally can be on for a bit though not as often as the past. I don't have that job anymore but that was due mostly to the employer who sucks .
This past week I have had many things on my mind, from wondering if it was time to return to California and have some closure with my parents and family members or stay and be the emotional stability to my boyfriend. Its never something that I would recommend anyone going through. From the push and pull from my boyfriend on the choice to make to the concerns or wisdom coming from my parents' mouths.
Either way it was oddly neither of them that helped me decide which to choose, it was the pull of horses that encouraged me to stay here and heal parts of myself that can't be healed by the relationships with my human companions. So I remain here in Georgia with my boyfriend and his friends in the search for friends here. It has always been a grulling and ardousious task for a shy person as me. No art will be placed up for a good while until I get my scanner, which is sad since I have had many good pieces I want to share.
Well without further ado, here is my latest short story about a character of mine.

The return of a writer. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger I have a JOB!! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/4842321/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/4842321/ Fri, 18 Mar 2005 00:33:53 PST
Damn, I wish I had my friggin' scanner and computer so I could show you all these amazing pictures I have been working on these past months and my art has advanced. I do declare... I have a style. -bows-

The world is looking sunny -looks outside- let me rephrase that. The world is looking bright in the moonlight of tonight, I have a family that loves me (well immediate only), a boyfriend that adores me (even calls to tell me he loves me from work), his mother/grandma/father & cousin all adore me as well, I have a decent job where I work with good people and I have my art. All that ould progress is my own laptop and an account on Lineage 2!!

-Dances round wearing only bra and victoria secret's panties- oh... and if I had a [b]hot woman[/b].. for those who didn't know.. I'm bisexual. Don't stop me from getting a boyfriend and eventually getting married. WHOOO!!!

Yeah baby.

Anyhow.. love you all. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Rise of the Full Moon Bloom http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/4348045/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/4348045/ Tue, 18 Jan 2005 00:32:14 PST Mood: Happy
Music: Heart of the Devil by Danzig

Well, it has still been a futile atempt at getting a job, hoping to get a job where my boyfriend's mom works.. a full time job, I'm not a morning bird but hey if it means I can finally get my own computer... hell yeah. Well no scanner at my disposal so I can't share with people my new drawing style, it seems I'm designed to help people with tattoo ideas. I did one for this lady a butterfly shaped one with two faces of girls in the wings facing each other. Now someone wants me to draw Archangel from -men for him to have as his tattoo on his back. I suppose it is my sort of destiny but its fun to draw. If I can I'll work harder to show my stuff up. Keep me updated and yours so I can keep looking at all your art work. Go Artists!

Signature: The Black Rose Blooms in the South ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger AIM News http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/4077710/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/4077710/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 01:39:30 PST __< I'll try something else but frankly I miss having Photoshop and Illustrator x___x Damnit, I miss AOL RP. Pray for my lost soul. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Merry Christmas and Happy New Skulls http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/4032025/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/4032025/ Fri, 10 Dec 2004 01:38:04 PST Merry Christmas to everyone, it has been both a horrible and great year. In this year came new challenges, great defeats and major changes. Hey at least I'm still alive and all. Hopefully the start of next year will be challenges, very small defeats and miminal changes that are kept to the progressing of my relationship with Jason. If any of my ex-boyfriends or ex-lovers read this, you all played a part in me being with him and I thank you for all the big and small things you did unknownngly did. I'm finally happy and settled.

To everyone else, I'll post another update when there is something worth saying. waves goodbye ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger A Farewell http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3790127/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3790127/ Mon, 08 Nov 2004 23:44:41 PST
I write this with an immense heavy heart, a member of my prestiage family has now passed on. She wasn't human, but she was my first cat to call my own. With her big wide eyes of gold and green looking up at me with such adoration and such innocence, fur blacker than a starless night. I weep a river that runs from my brown orbs to fall on foreign ground when so far from home she has never been closer in my heart than now.

Today while at home I got that fateful, dismal call from my parents and instantly I knew something was wrong. I heard the words from my mother, at first I didn't think it was true, it was just something they mistook.

Fear. Sorrow. Pain. Regret. Guilt.

It all escalated like a plane gaining height until that jumper leapt out to fall like a ton of bricks.

I'm sorry, your cat was poisoned, we lost her. Luna is dead. Your baby was buried.

Tears bubbled up, sprang from my eyes to close my throat and finally when the words passed my own lips I collapsed.

Anger. Disgust. Pain. Revolt.

What person could poison another person's pet? She crawled, made her way to get home, perhaps hoping we could heal her, seeking safety in a place she only knew or perhaps seeking me out in hopes to die on home ground.

I'll never forget you, Luna. My dark night stalker who slept with me, hissed when danger was near and loved me with no holding back. I remember when I got her, lost a car but I didn't care, bit me to bind us together and start that relationship onwards. First time she watched the cards on the computer running, he tiny paws trying to catch them and I laughed at how cute she was. When she would come curl in my lap when I was at the comp, sit on my window sil or purr as we fell asleep. It'll be a long time before I stop hating humans, before this pain is gone for it was truly like losing my own child who had not yet turned even a year old. Goodbye, Luna... I just hope you're happier and somewhere painless now. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Idea for Entries http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3553858/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3553858/ Sun, 10 Oct 2004 00:23:46 PDT
Well, I can't do a friggin poll >__< Guest cause I don't have membership, damnit. Ah well, anyhow.. write your vote...

Men?
Women?
Society?
Goths?
Questions about the world?

Or if you have a topic you want me to talk about just post it up on here and I'll tap into it. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Hello Once Again http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3410567/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3410567/ Mon, 20 Sep 2004 22:16:11 PDT
I'm 22 years old, its not really that bad I just feel I need to start accomplishing something before I hit ge 25. My special guy is really sick lately, not sure how.. he's worried he might have cancer. (nose spray for 7 years, smoking and drugs from the past.. will do shit to you) Me, I probably won't pass a drug test from the second hand dog shit smelling crap. Life is.. normal, which is odd. Being whom I am its never normal. Anyhow... going through art and I just have to say.. anyone you loves blood related art should view this picture.

Angel Weeps
Rating:

1 being low, 5 being the highest. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Hello People! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3207177/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3207177/ Wed, 25 Aug 2004 02:03:25 PDT

IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Do not start singing, I swear, do not sing!

Nicole, got the guy friends over here love your photos, they love your eyes and want to meet you so if that relationship with that cool guy falls out I got some guys here.. (whisper) but they love smoking weed and drinking Red Dawn. Otherwise they're cool guys to be around, hell I vote for Kyle as the best, even though he can have quite the... well I'll explain on the phone. Call me chica!!!

Bye bye folks!!

Kill Bil 2 rocks! Arch Enemy and Lacuna Coil are the greatest. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Hello Everybody http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3104065/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/3104065/ Wed, 11 Aug 2004 23:22:27 PDT
Heh, just kidding, I've been watching so much Teen Aqua Hunger Force and so much Lineage 2. Anyone know about it? Get on and have fun, I won't e a major player on it, hell no more AOL for me sticking to AIM and yahoo messenger when I get my laptop. My life here in Acworth, GA has been a major upper for me and hence I have decided this is where I'm stayin come rain, shine, hurricanes or fucking God comes down to wipe me out cause I don't believe in what he wants me to. This is just a quick journal entry to say hi to people, yes I'm still alive... and to let everyone know I will soon will finally be back on AIM!! Buh bye and peace to all!!

Love you all...

Nicole - call me chica.

Tasha - (NymofDragons) Call me you lazy bum, j/k.. SukiMun, tell her to look on here!!

SukiMun! - biotch, hope you aren't getting in trouble and being a slut as usual. I'm not coming back to AOL. This is my 2 week notice. xD

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Burn Baby... Burn http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2600191/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2600191/ Sun, 06 Jun 2004 21:11:07 PDT I'm so happy, and you want to know why? Well my dark side, that alter ego that is dragon/vampire/werewolf is out on the prowl now. You see I know magic like the back of my hand, it is engraved in my mind like a past life I remember as clear as day.

You see, I took this 12inch wooden manequin wrote his name on it, also stabbed little holes in the chest, he thinks he had chest pains... well he's going to get them now, then one in the shoulder of his left arm but hey he can jerk off with his right hand. I took a little red feather that was part of a red flower he gave me that symbolized some sort of affection, tied it to the little dollie and I did all this after I wrote his name on it. Then I took some incense, put it all over the doll and burned the mother fucker in the grill.

See, this is what happens when you piss me off so bad that I want you to die and in 3 days... he'll be dead or at least.. impotent and cursed. Sorry Ryan, those 10 inches are worth crap when you can't even get it up. -insert evil laughter here-

]]> ~BlackRoseDagger The Pain and the Betrayal http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2596628/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2596628/ Sun, 06 Jun 2004 12:30:13 PDT his flesh melt in the burning flames of my anger towards his actions. He is like everyone else, he is like all the other men I have ever known when he cant get a piece of ass that he got before he goes for something easier and more willing like a wolf hunting the injured deer. Truly pathetic.

I once admired this man, had him so up high on a pedestal where he reign supreme in my heart like a god, but now like all men that have gone through my life they simply crumble that pedestal like cracked stone as it fall apart and I have to stand there watching them fall from that place down with us mortals. How could I have believed his words when he told me he loved me? Proof that I say it all too easy to men and for now on they will never hear it even in a years time until they have proven they are here to be with me not solely for sex but here to walk with me in the path of life as my friend.

Yet here I sit wanting to lean over like a hunchback allowing my own tears the freedom of a river in hopes that I would drown myself and be released of this anger, this pain inside of me. But it will never be that way, will it? Im doomed to be this way for what seems an eternity. I have sworn to myself many things that I dare not break for it is irreversible now; never to cry over a man ever again. I will no longer shed a tear for Ryan Lee Patterson for he is no longer worth a damn drop, for treating me like a piece of meat when I showed him my heart and his head not on strange is a fucking pathetic excuse.

I have made a soul blood oath, not many know a soul can bleed but they can, I know the ceremonial dagger that I need to summon for it and when I woke I made that oath and as I speak of it now the mark hurts still as if my very flesh had been cut. I will never, ever so long as my soul exist chase after him again, it is permanent, and Ryan and Iwell so many said we were soul mates and now I discard that fact. It is a part of my shamble of a past reflection; it is time I leave it behind.

On another part, this is to Nicole and Steven, I still care for them like my sister and brother though I only trust Nicole but this part neither of you might wish to hear but this is the cause of a woman in grief and no regret. I have made a bargain with Leviathan, I gave Ryan to him for the cure to save the Gods and Goddesses and found out that the cure he had was not complete but it needed blood; it needed my blood. I gave my blood to make the cure complete, and now I have it I need only sleep again and make the Council drink it. But I know for doing such a pact I will be banished, they will see it as a betrayal but frankly I dont care anymore. Ryan will die after Leviathan tortures him; even if he is the one to save us we were already doomed because he refuses to accept. He refuses to grow up and take it all. Do what you must; I will find my paradise somewhere else.

Sorry Steven, I know you fought so hard to do what you could but frankly I can no longer stand it. I will not take sides anymore in this war, I accept my abilities and they continue to grow but I refuse now to help him. Goodbye. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger The Idiocy of Men http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2558337/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2558337/ Tue, 01 Jun 2004 13:06:11 PDT Why are men so stupid? Why do they do things that are so idiotic that we are puzzled and have deemed it The 8th Wonder of the World? Why do we constantly plead to Gods and advisors about solving this riddle that keeps seeming as if void of an answer?

Because the answer in truth would take a century to read.

But I'm not here to debate about why men are the way they are, simply to point out one man's mistake in thinking that I would be stupid enough to fall for a line such as 'To leave you with a memoriable moment' from a complete stranger I only know online. This man I don't remember his name, frankly he isn't even memoriable to remember that and in a month I will have forgotten this conversation even ever happened. But for all thos readers out there who would love to read something funny well babes... this ones for all you out there.

d3k0der: hello remember me..?
adsum_ad_lunam: yeah
d3k0der: how are you..?
adsum_ad_lunam: good, u?
d3k0der: fine....
d3k0der: nothing new..?
adsum_ad_lunam: nope
d3k0der: have you found your girl yet..?
adsum_ad_lunam: nope
d3k0der: i see.... well maybe you should give a guy like a little chance..
adsum_ad_lunam: why? I leavein about 12 days
d3k0der: thats why......something to remember..
d3k0der: well..?
adsum_ad_lunam: no, no.. see that only works with a guy I really want and love, and that man already suckered me into that crap as well as some pain of leaving me to go back to his ex when I finally decided I was going through with this.. and why do guys think that some woman is going to fall for that jumbo bullshit line when all they want is a good fuck for a while then not having to come up with an excuse because she moved
d3k0der: lol...
d3k0der: well im not looking for a fuckk..
adsum_ad_lunam: well forgive me if I don't believe you, I've been burnt too many times
d3k0der: well that is a fear you must learn to over come... not all men are dogs just like not all woman are bitches..
adsum_ad_lunam: I have over come it, I just don't trust men that haven't proven they aren't liars.. only men tht have proved and it really isn't hard
adsum_ad_lunam: I just no longer trust a person as soon as I meet them
d3k0der: i see..... well you should learn to be careful you can only blame yourself.... for choosing wrong..(here is where he really pissed me off)
adsum_ad_lunam: that is like telling yourself 'you're only to blame for choosing the wrong brand of rice on the shelf'
d3k0der: that is true i could of read the label..
adsum_ad_lunam: but there is no label on a human being
adsum_ad_lunam: mistakes happen
adsum_ad_lunam: if I thought to blame myself for things I did wrong, and I don't blame all men.. I just am tired of men, if I went with your thought...
adsum_ad_lunam: I'd be a nun
d3k0der: well life teaches you signs...
adsum_ad_lunam: life plays tricks and makes you read between the lines
adsum_ad_lunam: life isn't simple
d3k0der: yes that is true..
adsum_ad_lunam: yep
d3k0der: yup...

After this I left him speechless, if life was giving me a sign by using him as its puppet it is men think if a woman is leaving they're easy prey. Another proof that most not all men are predators. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger The Reason I'm So Weird http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2552290/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2552290/ Mon, 31 May 2004 17:37:45 PDT comical point. I've had many reports from people asking me Why are you so weird? or saying God you're weird. There have been spectualtions that I was raised by a pack of wolves, I say more like a domestic breed of canine, after all my nanny was a german shepard. My sister was a deer type chihuahua, and I have basically lived my life around animals. My urban jungle home.

On one night there was a event that happened, sitting in the front room talking with my mother when after a moment of silence she began to howl and soon one of our dogs joined in. I found it rather familiar and fun, I joined in, soon the other dog and my father began howling with us. I believe this is where the theory while I was growing up that I was some sort of werewolf. Frankly I still am wishing I had the ability to change and become one. What fun that would be.

But the most recent occurance that took place which was a few minutes ago was this little event when I went to get myself a bottle of water. My dad was feeding the dogs, well preparing their food and my mother was holding a 2 liter bottle of soda that was empty. She smacked me on my rump with it and it stung, hence the paranoia of never giving her an open shot of my ass. She has a habit of doing with with anything even her own hand though she says it is playful. She went over and smacked my dad on his buttocks with it when they were chatting her saying it didn't hurt and his howling screams of pain. This however was followed by my mother's laughter and a repeated hit, didn't matter how many times he howled for her to stop she kept smacking him for a while until finally silence filled the house.

In conclusion... why am I weird? It's genetics, you try living with my family for 21 years and stay normal. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger A game http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2543206/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2543206/ Sun, 30 May 2004 13:51:57 PDT 01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.
03. I love psychodelic mushrooms.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I have loads of books.
06. I once slept in a toilet.
07. I love playing video games.
08. I adore marijuana.
09. I watch porn movies.
10. I watch them with my father.
11. I like sharks.
12. I love spiders. I think they're adorable, especially the ones with bright colours on their backs.
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair.
14. I like George Bush. NOT stepping into that one right now
15. People are cool.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have jacuzzi and a Porsche.
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself.
20. I'm really really smart.
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret.
23. I hate snow.
24. I only drink milk.
25. Punk rock rules.
26. I hate Bill Gates! i dont care?
27. I love Chinese food.
28. I would hate to be famous.
29. I am not a morning person.
30. I wear glasses.
31. I don't need glasses, except sunglasses.
32. I have potential.
33. I'm pure Japanese.
34. My legs are two different sizes.
35. I have a twin.
36. I wear a padded bra.
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing.
38. I'm left-handed.
39. I hate llamas, but I'm one of them.
40. I don't like horror movies.
41. I suck at climbing, but I love it anyway.
42. People hate me usually.
43. I love pop music.
44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight.
45. I hate parking fines.
46. I know the National Anthem of my country by heart.
47. I know more than two languages.
48. I spend too much time on my computer.
49. I often want to throw out the computer in a window.
50. I live on a ground floor.
51. I don't like chocolate.
52. I'd like to be more original. I already am ^_^
53. I've lied. (rarely)
54. Cocks are my favorite birds.
55. I want to conquer the world.
56. I wonder what happens when you die.
57. I've read all books about Harry Potter.
58. Eat your dog!
59. I love to exercise.
60. I hate chemistry with a passion.
61. I love to write.
62. I like changes.
63. I hate going to class.
64. I am afraid to die.
65. I hate dish washing.
66. My hair is long, brown, and wavy.
67. My nails are nine inch long.
68. My favorite color is black.
69. I like to sleep on the floor.
70. I am hopeless at cooking.
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little.
72. I should be doing something else rather than writing this.
73. I am online a lot, but not on MSN.
74. I hate government.
75. I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend
76. I'm too nice for my own good.
77. I love to read, I read as much as I can.
78. I don't trust newspapers.
79. I like debating.
80. I live in a lagoon.
81. I clean my room once a month.
82. I'm scared of american fast food.
83. I am prying open my third eye.
84. I love Mozambique.
85. I don't trust any religion.
86. I used to play with barbies because all the other girls were doing it.
87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little.
88. I like listening to wind chimes.
89. I'm very disorganized
90. My hair is long and straight.
91. I earn a lot.
92. I don't like spicy food.
93. I keep a diary.
94. I can't do cartwheels.
95. I am very lazy.
96. I'm sarcastic.
97. I think my hair is annoying.
98. I'm too sensitive.
99. I love being "ab-normal".
100. My left eye is violet and my right eye is a light blue. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Weird Dream http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2512254/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2512254/ Wed, 26 May 2004 09:44:40 PDT
I get off, get dressed and tell my dad time to go, we're looking at my note book where I wrote down Jason's flight info. Numbers 777. And the time was between 10 and noon. So then we're driving and going through this other place my dad called a Sister Road, to a normal crowded Main street that had so many turns and twists I think we got losts.

Then for some reason we stop at this one store, lots of women in the building who are doing some sort of yes/np survey. We sat now next to this black haired woman, quite beautiful (now that I think of it, the woman is how I see Nikki) My dad gets up and leaves, she asked me about the survey I was like, yes sure whatever. Then she hands me the paper going. 'Why don't I let you read this more clearly.' Right when I'm about to my dad comes and gets me, we're walking on the street and my dad is pointing to a bus stop infront of a coffee shop. Ordinary women about 4 and my dad said. 'Look over there, I think Jason is over there.' So I looked, it wasn't Jason sitting inside the place but another guy I knew whose name is Trey listening to music on his headphones.

I told my dad he was wrong, but then something weird happen, windows began exploding, shattering with explotions and then this pink goo began to come at us and people are running like a godzilla movie. Then we have to run, climb up this long stairway that also has an escalator while my dad is no where in sight I am jumping three steps at a time but these stairs was like that stairway to some temple or like the stairs in Universal City. The blob is almost there oddly also the airport is at the top of the stairs, these two women get caught in the blob. I reach down and pull out the blonde but the black hair I was unable to save.

Like some movie it showed to me she didn't die but instead was in this tube where this ugly guy came while she was naked and he wasn't going to rape her.

guy: 'Well, well look what we have here.'
girl: 'Hey get off me, where the hell am I?'
-don't remember what was said here-
girl: 'Ah crap you're gonna mount me.'
guy: 'No, more like turn you into a werewolf.'

The guy shifts mostly his head into a werewolf and bites into her shoulder which causes me to wake up wondering What the fuck was that about?

Everyone is welcomed to figure out what it means. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Is this what I deserve? http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2470075/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2470075/ Thu, 20 May 2004 13:42:33 PDT
Good News

Some of you knew that I was being testing on my kidneys if I had the same thing as my dad with his dyalsis. During this trial from the basic urine test then the all day urine test I felt like I was no more than a damn clone of my own father. I snapped at anyone who made me feel depressed that something might be wrong but the test came back and I am clean. I don't have the thing like my father so everyone can just kiss my ass.

Drama News

It seems to be Steven is the messenger I wish was feeling intense pain right now, how dare he bring up that ingrates name. How dare he tell me that pathetic bastard is laying in his death bed from the stress that he took on because he went back to her. And when I asked why did he tell me this news. Because you deserve to know. Then tell me Steven why is it you think I deserve to feel this pain, this sorrow, this anger that surfaces when I have banished him from my mind as often as I can, the anger of knowing I still feel for him when he has done nothing to me but give me the same stress, the same heartache? How is it I deserve all this? What did I do to wrong you in some way in a past life that you must bring this on my shoulders?

He chose his fate, the way he wanted to go when I had to find out through other people he went back to Lauren, to sleep with her, to be with her, to try and love her again. If the gods are playing some cruel fate or game on me they had better stop it for I will not stand for any of it anymore. You know as well as anyone that anger like this can turn someone to the bad side or worse.. take no side at all and turn her back on everyone that took part in this tragic play.

I will not help him anymore, I have done what needs to be done for him. I made a plea to the Gods that he see what it is to feel truly alone and be shown the truth to his illusion, and let me tell you this, that road is long and painful but like me he learns the hard way. If he dies, so bed it... if he led us the world was doomed anyway. I leave his fate in yours and everyone else's hands; I wipe myself clean and free of him forever. I will not die another death before his eyes only for him to realize the love I gave him, I don't want to die for him anymore. I want to Live.

]]> ~BlackRoseDagger The Truth about Goths http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2452487/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2452487/ Tue, 18 May 2004 00:40:52 PDT
What is a True Goth? A true Goth is someone who doesn't always wear black clothing, hell you wouldn't know one if you walked down the street just by looking at them because we don't flash ourselves. We are solitary people, often loners you see in places and some who have their own groups but the ones who have their groups are often closer to each other than most would ever expect and their bonds tougher to break than steel itself. A true Goth is a person just like you and me, but they have seen their dark side and they see it every single day and they face it. They accept it as a part of themselves and do not shy away from it like some people.

We, the True Goths, know our sides like the bright and dark side of life, we choose which way we go but we don't take sides for they are both us and do not deny either one. Some of use have been through hard things in life, hell there isn't a Goth out there who hasn't gone through some sort of emotional and mental pain in life but even though at some times they might just want to give up and they go down deep into the dark they still come back up to the light. We don't exhibit ourselves by wearing dark clothes, being so depressed around people that we make them depressed, True Goths are deep people rarely allowing someone into our lives that are allowed to see just how deep we are. If we all got together with our depth we could drown the ocean itself.

Then there are the Dark Goths, they are the ones who love the dark side of life, their dark thoughts and even their dark desires. These people sometimes do dress dark, sometimes not as these two are often hard to come across just by sight but they are around us nonetheless. They love the dark side of life, even though they come out into the sunlight for Goths are not vampires at least not the True or Dark Goths of society. The Dark Goths are true masters of the Macabre, they know the light of life but they do not dwell upon it often seeing the darker side of the balance and often the ones you need to worry about.

Wannabe Goths, are those you think are Goths but that has been such a misgiving it makes me frown and so the reason I have written this up. People who go to clubs dressed in black, piercing and tattoos, flashing themselves to the world and pleading to pour out sob stories that half the time are not even true. They give Goths a bad name, for we do not need to go around parading about saying we're Goth like some gay couple coming out of the closet shouting 'we're gay!' Sometimes being a wannabe Goth you have drifted with the crowd, found a place where you are gay and want a reason to belong and try to fit in. Or maybe you think it is some kinky fetish to look Goth just so you can lure someone to bed from a club.

Which ever the case maybe I just want to set this record straight for all us Goths out there that are stereotyped instantly as wannabe Goths because that is all people see. Beauty is only skin deep but beneath the rest of our flesh is the union of light and dark, we the True Goths understand it and accept it. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger WaterColour Hints http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2441677/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2441677/ Sun, 16 May 2004 14:29:51 PDT Hint #1

Paper. Best to test out different sorts of water color paper, it works better. When using this do not use the pad but instead get a hard surface like a large clipboard or a table and tape down along the edges. Use tape that won't rip the paper much when you take it off. Doing this trick it both keeps your paper flat and create a nice boarder line when finished and removed. Makes a large difference and something like a frame that you will love.

Hint #2

Tools. Make sure to have a variety of different brush sizes from big ones you use to paint large parts in the picture and the more smaller ones to get in that tiny little details. Remember, watercolour is tricky because it works from light to dark so the more layers of colour the more darker it will get. Try not to over work the image, take plenty of pauses, look it over. Remember, just cause you think a picture is finished, it never is for someone who sees it will often continue it in their own style.

Hint #3

White spaces. There is that roll on glue or Arabic gum that you use on places you want to keep white but it is hard cause watercolour runs or often to make a mistake right? These two things help because once you are done with your picture all you have to do is rub it off and it is still nice and white say like anime hair or ripples in the water this comes in handy a lot of times. To many this is a life saver.

Hint #4

Sketching. Regular pencil tends to leave marks or lines you rather were not in it, so I suggest you use a blue or red pencil to sketch out the drawing you wish to make and do not worry about adding detail because that comes later only do the silhouette and areas you want white for that way you get a better look to it. Plus once painted over it seems like it never was.

If anyone else wants hints on how to draw something, paint with Tempra or watercolour just ask and I will give what hints I can offer. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Awesome Movie! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2430021/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2430021/ Fri, 14 May 2004 19:29:04 PDT Van Helsing finally, with my sister though frankly I just wanted to see the movie. Man, so many points it was making me jump and I loved the graphics. I love how they made the werewolves, 3 different ones and I love how Van turned into that big black one and when he howled. Man, the ending was sort of sad yet I liked it. I loved the outfits, the scenes, the plot-line and it was just a terrific movie. I rate it on a 1 to 5 scale 5 being the best I would place it on a 5! The brides of dracula were nice, lots of boobs and cleavage, Frankestein was nicely made good portraying of him especially how he was the key to it all and the Jekyl and Hyde. It was great, Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale rule baby!! It has blood (give it a 2, wasn't much), romance (give it a 2, only the looks a kiss, sorry people no one gets naked in this movie!), action (give it a 5!) and suspense ( a 5 as well) it had me on the edge of my seat one cause I had to piss and the other cause I wanted to see it all. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Comic Central! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2389845/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2389845/ Sun, 09 May 2004 03:34:35 PDT Love

Let's just say this will be an empty column until I return back on DA after June 12th, Ryan... I'm through chasing you, you always fussed about losing me well guess what... -gives him the one finger salute- fuck this, you grade A son of a bitch moron.

Movies

Nothing new seen, was gonna see Van Helsing but unfortunately I was unable to go since this week has been busy.

News

This month is a big hit for birthdays, Two down... 5 more to go. If I had a job this would drain my bank account in one sip. Tonight is weird and out of my head I might be starting a new comic strip, for now I will be making it just written pieces as it won't be anything dramatic... kinda like this..

Title: Destructo Girl
Characters: Destructo Girl; Cookie the Blind Dog - sidekick, and Polly the parrot

Episode 1
Birth of the Freaks

Sitting there at home with her nose stuck in a book, glasses on as she reads a manga comic book called Ragnorak. Laying at the foot of her bed is her dog, and nearby is a covered bird cage.

Dad: "Rose... what did you do to the computer outside?"
Me: "Nothing."
Dad: "You did something, now it won't work."
Me: "I didn't do anything."

Eventually he leaves and she sits up grinning.

Me: "Looks like its time for Destructo Girl to go destroy another machine! Let's attack the teller machines, Cookie!"

jumps up from the bed, tosses clothes around then strips -insert censored nudity here- as she tosses on a tight blue spandex shirt with the logo DG in gold on her chest, blue jean pants and a red lace underwear on the outside as she pulls on a zebra style cape. Cookie sits near her facing backwards as usual with black shades, blue doggie shirt as Destructo Dog is ready and then opens her bird cage pulling out Polly.

Me: "All ready guys?"
Destructo Dog: "Bark, bark, woof."
Polly: "Mother fucker, son of a bitch I want a cracker jackass." (All polly knows is mostly swear words)

Me: "Up, up.. and to the subway we go!"

End

Well that's all for now, I'll draw a cover for it later at some point. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger SCREW ALL MEN! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2375173/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2375173/ Thu, 06 May 2004 21:05:04 PDT ever sleep with is Jason. Ryan Lee Patterson... there was never anything ever between us that was serious and I no longer can deal with this crap. Go after Lauren, you asshole. I'm going for Jason, sorry you're own damn fucking fault for losing me! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Waaay too many people I Deviwatch - Here they are http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2369096/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2369096/ Thu, 06 May 2004 03:02:18 PDT Friends first

Random People

~BlackRoseDagger A Strange Week http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2309166/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2309166/ Tue, 27 Apr 2004 11:32:37 PDT News

Yeah I always wait so long before I make a Journal entry. This week has been a strange one as I can't sleep deep anymore, I wake up early, I have dreams I know mean something but I can't remember them. I role-play on AOL, things happen there too but mostly I've been seeing movies.

Taking Lives
I give it a 4 star, very good lots of suspense though anyone who is an artist the ending is a dead give away.

Hellboy
Actually was very well made, I liked it especially the special effects though they had a few screw ups not pointing them out as you will have to see them for yourself.

Movie List
Kill Bill Vol.2
Punisher
Val Helsing
Troy

Anyhow I will see those movies and I will be sure to let everyone know how good it is.

Movie of the Week
I want everyone to see Kill Bill Vol.1, so much blood any person who loves gore should see this just because of the samurai, the fights, the blood and the black and white scenes. More blood than a Freddy Keuger Movie + Halloween Movies all put together. I want all of you to watch this who aren't squeamish about the hacking of limbs and then after you see this go watch Kill Bill Vol.2 now in theatres!! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Devious Journal Entry http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2309163/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2309163/ Tue, 27 Apr 2004 11:32:19 PDT News

Yeah I always wait so long before I make a Journal entry. This week has been a strange one as I can't sleep deep anymore, I wake up early, I have dreams I know mean something but I can't remember them. I role-play on AOL, things happen there too but mostly I've been seeing movies.

Taking Lives
I give it a 4 star, very good lots of suspense though anyone who is an artist the ending is a dead give away.

Hellboy
Actually was very well made, I liked it especially the special effects though they had a few screw ups not pointing them out as you will have to see them for yourself.

Movie List
Kill Bill Vol.2
Punisher
Val Helsing
Troy

Anyhow I will see those movies and I will be sure to let everyone know how good it is.

Movie of the Week
I want everyone to see Kill Bill Vol.1, so much blood any person who loves gore should see this just because of the samurai, the fights, the blood and the black and white scenes. More blood than a Freddy Keuger Movie + Halloween Movies all put together. I want all of you to watch this who aren't squeamish about the hacking of limbs and then after you see this go watch Kill Bill Vol.2 now in theatres!! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Love's Dream http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2172504/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2172504/ Wed, 07 Apr 2004 14:58:41 PDT Love News

Well you remember how all my love news can be, I'm a silly pathetic girl whose life never works out the way it is suppose to. I'm here to tell you for the first time it finally has. I waited and waited and waited then I took a break then went back to waiting for some more. Finally last night, my true love came and not in a dream but it so felt like one. It was such a perfect night, just waiting for us as the beach was empty with the calm waves pulsating racing to run along the sand in its smoothed grace. The relaxing, calm sounds of the water with a full moon up there in the sky all in its crystal glory with the dark gray clouds shifting around in the sky as if I already was there with my heaven on earth. Standing there beside the tall man of my dreams, embraced in the warmth that made all the cold air just go away even in the skirt I was wearing as I closed my eyes then opened them to make sure it was all not just some sadistic dream.

Kissing him with all the hunger, the thirst to just feel his touch against mine as I stood in my boots hugging him with all the joy in my heart as that one empty place in my soul that felt so large, so hollow was finally filled. I was complete, satisfied and happy beyond compare. We laughed, we smiled, we kissed and then we made love on the sand with our souls merged as one, our bodies pressed against each other in joyous harmony.

I remember we sat there with me in his lap, arms curled around me and heads nestled against each other.

Max: If you wanted anything in the world right now what would it be?

Me: I have it right here, something I have always wanted and I feel complete. I would not want to be anywhere, with anyone else or doing anothing else but sit here right now with you. A simple dream come true.

I know sappy but that is truly how I felt. Gods, how I love him that, that one simple night made me feel like the most special woman in the world and the happiest as well. I gave him my dragon medallion, I do so hope gargantua protects and keeps him safe from all magical and physical harm. He is my soul-mate, my one and true love even though I am going to Georgia still no one can replace him in my heart.

Max: I'm going to miss you.

Me: And I'm going to miss you as well. Remember this, Max, no matter where I go or where I am I will always remember you and love you for no one else can make me forget you. Now no more talk of missing each other or I'm going to start getting emotional.

I wanted to cry, for the first time I wanted to cry in a guy's arms and have him hold me like a fragile doll. I make myself out to be so strong and firm but inside I am a fragile china doll just wishing for that special person to hold me safely. Anyhow I won't bore you with more details. Thanks for reading this. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger People go see this artist!!! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2137678/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2137678/ Fri, 02 Apr 2004 13:59:17 PST

so go look! ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Ramblings... http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2119909/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2119909/ Wed, 31 Mar 2004 01:09:37 PST Thoughts

Sometimes I feel like there is an intense sorrow in me that no matter how many tears I shed I will never truly be rid of it all. It sleeps in me. I feel depressed though I know I should be happy, stubborn and press on as I go each day not letting this sorrow consume me like a devil's flame. Is there truly a devil out there that we have a right to fear as if it would be our doom to let our own personal devils decide what our hell should be?

No, we are humans, at least some of us in this world are such for humans can only decide their own fate of what it will come to while the rest are fated to have it chosen for them like their own path already carved in wood for their tears to run. Like the part on a sword where the blood runs down to the ground in sanguine tears. Are these thoughts to be what cages us to mortality?

I don't know if any of this is making any sense nor do I care who reads this as nothing shall be revealed only made for ones who read these words to think on their own.

Devils, demons, angels, gods, vampires and witches. They all exist, both metaphorically and physically though like unicorns wandering the world humans choose not to see them. I have wanted to see them and yet they do not show themselves though a part of me fears the bitter truth of reality that isn't what it seemed.

I am only 21 years old and yet my eyes have seen so much, they knew so many things that seem to be hidden behind a wall of secrecy. I sometimes sit here dwelling before the computer eyeing my buddylist with not much of a drive to do anything but seek to be someone I should in my own dreams. A part of me wants to live behind the veil to live a normal fragile life. Not the one meant to go down this hard barrel road I know I must follow.

I know about love, I know hate, I feel like a unicorn whose innocence of purity was robbed. I have a soul mate, a human or rather one like me who won't see himself for who he is and he just might condemn us all to loosing our very souls. He's done so much to me, both in love and the fear of it, things I should hate him for, things I should despise him for doing for being a coward of letting fear rule his heart. But I don't hate him. I love him, for his cruel ways, for his sight of seeing this to protect his daughter, for using these reasons to protect his own jaded heart. I cannot go back now, I love him with every ounce of my heart and it pains me that he doesn't show it back.

I know I must leave, I must go so far away from him for him to learn what he must without me here to guide him for I would be nothing but a barrier. After all he fears me, so when the fear is gone and the mind can think perhaps when he is ready to seek me out he will. I know so many things I wonder if one such as me ... the Keeper of the Prophecy, the Maiden of the Fields and Wielder of the Stone ... known as a simple human amongst human. I have my own thing to accept... I'm not truly human I merely sleep in a human shell. For only humans ... can determine the fate of mankind.

::She sighs gently, settling down her quill pen as she watched the ink dry on the paper with almost a heavy weight on her shoulders she released a sigh::

Am I ever ... to be me again? ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Shitty Week http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2091560/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2091560/ Fri, 26 Mar 2004 20:09:49 PST Love News:

Yes, I'm single, still even though Max and I are on ice with each other mostly he's the one stranded because he has ditched me all this week. I hate cowards. No good hound dogs that can't track their way back home. I have no desire to find a guy here in California, I'm moving to Georgia to be with my bestfriend and the only guy who has shown interest in me for over a year now and still says he loves me. Willing to move out here to CA if I wanted it but I've decided I need to have myself a fresh start.

Family News:

My mother is having more fun, doing things she loves to do and my father is actually trying to help himself with his sex addiction though fact is I still think they'll get divorced eventually. My mother doesn't want me moving some days she talks about how its a bad move, too much risk, and that I could do better than him. Frankly, I can't, Jason is the ultimate guy and the best one out there! So gals.. he's mine! :hugs her Jason:

Art News:

I'm making a new landscape painting, I'm still trying to figure out the best way to make it look like cherry blossom petals on a tree. I'm thinking of taking a little sponge with red and pink shades over it. It's called The Blood Stained Fields, I will place down here my little description of the landscape picture I will be drawing up. Who ever wants a sketch of it best let me know I'm not putting up stages.

Sing the song of blood, let the world cry and its tears paint the ground with little blobs of red. Sprinkle on the earth the glistening sorrow of death come and gone, even grass here tinged in its sanguine hue. The tree within the center, a cherry blossom creation with its petals in the red abuse of its past it might as well be an oasis on Mars. Rocks still splashed, stained by old blood in its darkened ages appearance and bones slightly protruded from the ground as if unearthed dead would not have rest wishing some ankle go by to drag them down into the pits of hell's bowels. Wide, the field so opened and girth expanded with enough room to be a dragon's run-way. Green stopped along the border line of this place halted in its rush to erase the massacre that had taken place here so long ago but you knew that would never happen within the place. So much blood spilled. So many tears cried. Marked for all eternity was this ground. Not sacred, neither was it damned it was just a reminder of what human cruelity was capable of as well as the righteous blinded acts of the avengers. Slain were the children, the women and the men within this place that was once a city then slaughtered were the ones who did it easing the dead souls to rest but.. the living never allowed to sleep; never allowed to forget. This... is the The Blood Stained Fields. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Honoring Realism http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2054919/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2054919/ Sun, 21 Mar 2004 10:48:43 PST

Also here are a few others

~*~Equines~*~

She does great pictures of unicorns.

~*~Comic Book Style~*~

News
I'm going to be moving from Culver City, California to the wild terrain of Acworth, Georgia or at least around there for a time. My life here in California isn't the best which is full of stress, what with my parents almost always fighting now or them weighing me down with money problems and that I need to get a job as soon as possible. Thing is I would have if they weren't so picky were I work at, you know? Anyhow both my parents know, my mother isn't very happy and almost cried when I told her. My father just said 'so you are moving to Georgia? You know if you go we won't be able to bail you out if you need to get out like last time in New York?' I told him I knew the risk I was taking, frankly that atmosphere is better since Jason can get me a job, a roof over my head and I'll even make sure he has food in the house.

In other news either Monday or Tuesday Dan, his two friends and Max are heading over to my area and we're going to have a nice full day of fun. I'm still trying to see if having a BBQ on the beach is ok or do we need a permit of some sort. But since none of us have really that much money I'm looking for events where we don't have to pay a lot and I think I'll make them a little basket of food so we don't have to pay to eat either. I want to treat them to some fun though (and not the sexual sort) I just hope Max doesn't get all jealous if a guy hits on me. Hell wouldn't be the first time I'l... ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Anime Artist Week http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2013684/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/2013684/ Sun, 14 Mar 2004 21:19:12 PST

I have a very picky sense of art, so these people all deserve to be looked at if you love looking at wonderful art!

~*~Friends~*~

This woman is from Japan, she does wonderful art though not sure if some are there since I believe DA took some off. She is a wonderful artist.

Liz is a blossoming artist, though it is still sort of weak all she needs is practice and soon she will be great.

http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1951442/ Thu, 04 Mar 2004 14:13:11 PST ~BlackRoseDagger Why is my life... going to Hell? http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1923614/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1923614/ Sat, 28 Feb 2004 20:54:55 PST
At first it started out as I had my time I was just screwing around with guys, not caring about them or really giving a damn about myself. It was a drug to me, a way to get some excitement in my life and just make my worries vanish. It only lasted for a few months, then I grew bored with it because I couldn't find the most important thing I wanted; love.

I wanted the love you get when you go to a park just for fun and laugh, when you hang out at a coffee shop just to talk or sit on the beach in silence during the sunset just to watch the romantic scene with someone I loved. Funny I did that with Jason but he wasn't someone I loved in that way, a different love. He was my friend, someone I can rely on and always will be able to.

Max hasn't been seen online for about 2 days now, had me worried so I went and looked at his melo to find clues to the reason of his disappearance. Found out he had another fight with Lauren, and guess his heart has not fully let her go yet. I feel like I must step away, walk away for him to heal and when he has he can come find me. But it's so damn hard. He doesn't give me much to go on, I sent him some e-mail, a dirty story of sorts to tide him over and when I read his melo seems all I did was push him over the edge. Saying I was wrong to do it when he told me he liked it. I mean I sent one at a time so at any point he could tell me 'enough' and all I get is a stab in the back that he didn't like it?!

I'm through trying, it is up to him, I was going to use the 45 bucks I have to pay for his trip out here, his gas, food and a room perhaps.. one of those hour rooms. Forget it, I'm going on monday to buy myself some art stuff to use, something I'll have fun doing than stress out if he loves me or not. I cannot take anymore false love, I'm tired and feel like all I want to do is lay down and die. I'll do a drawing in a bit to represent what I'm feeling right now.

Fact is.. I was making him my life, forget it.. I'm taking and making my own with only myself and a cat included.

So tired... so utterly tired and I'm only 21. Pathetic isn't it? ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger Looks at these people!! http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1915308/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1915308/ Fri, 27 Feb 2004 11:27:13 PST
~Friends~

~Wonderful Artists~

http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1912690/ Thu, 26 Feb 2004 21:37:25 PST

]]> ~BlackRoseDagger A dream of growing up... http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1894155/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1894155/ Mon, 23 Feb 2004 14:30:43 PST
In the dream world he told me that all would come and soon fall into place, my parents had held me back much in my life and now I would no longer let them hold me down. He told me signs to look for, as there would be the sign of the horse on something during a normal day and to seek it out and find a job in that company. Asking them for a job for a young mind whose love of horses was more than anything in this world. He said that upon doing that I would then be reunited with my horse, My Darkness. To go to Nicole, have her take me to where she saw him and there to follow the road of hooves. When I would come to the top of a hill I was to whistle in a way only I would know how. That Darkness was wild, that no person could tame say for me who was his destined rider. And once together nothing would ever separate us and all would be right.

After he told me all this we came to the cliff top over looking the world, a forest and valley along the horizon the sun was rising as it is this morning I write this all down. At first sunlight a road of light was made touching the tip of the cliff and it was time for me to dismount. I asked him if I would ever see him again, in the world I would go into myself, he said no for that is not where he is to go. He said that whenever I am outside on a clear night, when a shooting star shoots by that is him saying hello. I asked him how will I know it would be him. He just said I would know, I have always known. Then with one more hug goodbye he then leapt onto the road of light, riding to the world of twilight where nothing grows old, where childhood dreams and make-believe friends come from and return after the child they have come to loves them enough to make them real and return to that place never to come back again. Where they would never fade for that is the strength of a childs love. After he was halfway along the road he leapt into the night sky, to the stars where he vanished in a twinkle of an eye.

Perhaps this was no more than a dream that I have finally grown up, that I was a woman and yet also a dream that would lead me to a better life. I know not which only that I will miss my friend, my Unico who knows all my secrets, and has been with me since I was 5 when my sister threw him out of her bed. He will forever be my own, my unicorn as the stuff unicorn will go on to become a childhood heirloom to my children so that they too will have someone to confide in and someone to watch over their dreams, to keep the nightmares away. For that is the magic of Unicorns. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger The swords are clashing... http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1884228/ http://BlackRoseDagger.deviantart.com/journal/1884228/ Sat, 21 Feb 2004 15:56:56 PST
Don't ask me where that came from, my poetry is like automatic writing these days it simply comes from my when I feel the need to write now a days it simply doesn't rhyme, it speaks in riddles and tells what is to come. I believe since I stepped over my own barrier that kept me from doing much, now my power is unleashed. And suddenly... I fear yet accept myself. ]]> ~BlackRoseDagger