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        <title>deviantART: by:Bladedg</title>
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        <pubDate>Sat, 19 Dec 2009 18:30:25 PST</pubDate>        
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                <title>The IHop misadventures</title>
                <link>http://Bladedg.deviantart.com/journal/16329252/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:22:51 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Time for a nice change of pace. The other day, as a means of celebrating the arrival of my brother and sister from their prolonged stay at their crack-addict father's house, we(that is, my brother, sister, mother, and I) went to Ihop. Upon arrival, we received a seat and service. It was no longer than three minutes after takingour order that our waiter walked past carrying a large chocolate sundae(whatever it may have been) My brother sits and watches the sundae in quiet fascination. The sundae reaches its destination,w hich turns out to be a morbidly obses 7-year-old, and I'm talking about waddling, double-chinned seven year old. My mother and brother comment on the boys size, which I find completely ironic. A few more minutes later, our food arrives to ur table(10 minutes of not eating and my brother claims death by starvation). The first thing that happens is that my mom asks for an onion ring, which I believe was fine. Next, my brother asks for an onion ring, before he starts his meal. "what's so bad about that?" you may be asking yourself(yourselves incase someone else actually decides to read this)  what I ordered was a double decker club sandwich, which is huge, and I cannot finish seperately. My brother, however, orders a 1/2 pound burger and extra fries. He doesn't even finsihhat before he starts to maul and dismember the three pancakes my mother ordered. After maiming all that food, his and my mother's, he is still not satisfied, and when I get up to pay the bill, starts eyeing, and devouring, the 1/4 of a sandwich I had left, without my permission. Still deemed unsatisfactory, when my sister rises to go "relieve herself" attacks what could once have been considered chicken tenders......Am I the only one who sees a problem here?<br />
<br />
thank you for reading as I rant about my life..Enjoy<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Bladedg</author>
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          <item>
                <title>You're not going to beleive this</title>
                <link>http://Bladedg.deviantart.com/journal/14719127/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 20 Sep 2007 18:06:55 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ okay, otday I got a message from my mom, sayign I was in trouble,a dn that I had to go home ASAP. <br />
<br />
I went back and forth about it, until finally I asked her why I was in trouble. she said she'd tell me when I got home. at first I thought it was something she didn't want to talk about over the phone, so I decided to waste time so I wouldn't have to go home. <br />
<br />
when I called her and asked, she said I'd have to wait, becaus eI asked again.<br />
<br />
well, here's a little background. whenever my mom is pissed at me for something, relatively small, she usually makes me stand, get in my face, and screams her lungs out. when it's somethign major, we go into a private room, and she gets a depressed look on her face, her voice is quiet, and she talks aboput the problem. I've known my mom to go by this cycle for 9 years,and she hates change. <br />
<br />
So when I got home, I did the usual thing I do when she's about to yell at me: I tilt my head to the side, look forward, adn unfocus my eyes so I can't see. so when I openned the door, I said in my normal, tired voice "i'm home, let's get this tirade over with"<br />
<br />
My mom was already at the door, and she made me stand, I took off my backapack,and I was ready for the usual. before  I walked in the door however, I went through the list of things I did bad, on the top was writign a letter saying how much I hated her, and not hiding it properly. <br />
<br />
so I assumed that was what she was talking about(or maybe some of the pictures from fan girls available here on deviantart that come up when you search for anime characters. Y'all knw what I mean.) <br />
<br />
So when I look into her face, I see a big grin. at first I'm shocked, but then  I thought back to evcerything I've said and done, and I realized I made a major mistake," she must think I'm nervous because I was so worried about what I did, and I asked her" <br />
<br />
So then I thought that she must've thougght that I was incriminating myself, and she asked me"what have you done lately that might make me mad at you?"<br />
<br />
this seemed unlike my mom, because when she's pissed, she'll go ahead and scream whatever pissed her off. so she went on like this, adn I could tell that she was hoping tha i was gonna name a bunch of stuff, thinking I was guessing at what I did wrong, knowing that there was nothign I did wrong, and pretty much telolign her all the stuff I did. <br />
<br />
so I thought a few more seconds, adn I realized, I didn't do anythign, she's jsut trying to psyche me out so i'll tell all the bad thigns i did, and get myself into trouble<br />
<br />
the amazing thing is that she's pretty smart, but because I watcehd a certain episode of George Lopez, and my brilliant analysis skills, I was able to determine what she was doing,and I realized tha all I really did was not clean my room<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Bladedg</author>
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          <item>
                <title>ummm</title>
                <link>http://Bladedg.deviantart.com/journal/14677879/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:06:05 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ okay, so here's the scoop<br />
<br />
SCHOOL SUCKS ALOT<br />
<br />
I mean, it's not nearly as bad as last year, adn the teachers are great, but it's not hard enough for me,a dn it's actually quite boring. OS i've decided to bitch to people I don't even know over the internet. and I think this is going to be the start of a long lasting bitch-fest<br />
<br />
and check this out. Because I apparently don't take a n interest in grown men running into eachother's loins, clothed only in skin-tight leather pantss, or jsut a g-string, While they try and get one on top of the other, sweating and doing whatever they can to keep one another in eachothers grasp between their legs(in case you didn't know, i'm talking about pro wrestling0 My mom thinks I might be gay. Whereas my Younger brother is showing so many stereotypical signs of a homosexual that ryan Seacrest is going "I ain't doin' that"<br />
<br />
now tell me, why is it that I, an intellectual whose sole purpose in life is to do well,and advance above the stereotype that all black people are nothing but chicken loving gangstas, am considered gay because I don't enjoy the many sports that pretty much screaem "this is for you rainbow"(not to be offensive)? <br />
<br />
Seriously I don't like sports, which are like the climax of homosexuality, asdn I'm gay for it!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Bladedg</author>
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