http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Blazegrl&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Blazegrl en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 20:05:13 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/26182291/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/26182291/ Sun, 26 Jul 2009 01:30:20 PDT
Hehe... I'm in Pheonix, Arizona right now.

Yeah, I know, it was a really long move. All the way from Kentucky to Arizona and I drove the whole way! It was amazing! We went through Tennessee, Missouri, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and we arrived in Arizona.

I think I was most impressed by Texas, New Mexico, and when we got to AZ.

Texas was this vast, almost empty place. We were in the tip, so there are just a lot of cattle fields, but these cattle fields weren't normal ones. These were huge! They stretched out on and on and on; almost forever! It really made you feel like the whole place was unsettled. That it was really the wild west all over again. It was beautiful and the flattest I've ever seen anywhere. The ground met the sky and it seemed like it could have been the ocean, it was so stretched out.

New Mexico was when you could see some things that looked a lot like canyon formations. They were these massive mountains that seemed to almost be cut into squares. They looked really impressive because the surroundings were still so flat around them. When night fell and you weren't near any cities, the sky was so dark it was lit up with billions of stars and you could see the milky way. It was the most beautiful I have ever seen the sky. We went through a city too. I'm not sure which one, but it was so huge. They had all these light skulpters up in different colors and every bridge was colored underneath with the same lights. It was a rainbow city. The walls that were used to diffuse noise had aztec pictures all over them. It was really awesome. a very beautiful city.

When we arrived in Arizona it was light out. We drove through the mountains. They aren't as green as the mountians I'm used to seeing in Virginia. They were covered in rocks and some were covered in huge cacti and all kinds of plants I've never seen before. These mountians almost look fake too. Almost like someone had painted them in the background. They are so pretty.

In Phoenix, since its a valley, the place is flat. You can still see the mountains in places, but the land closest to you is all really flat. There are cacti and palm trees everywhere. And there are rocks everywhere too. I thought there would be sand, but it isnt that kind of desert. LoL And the really rich neighborhoods have grass, but its kind of sorry looking grass. In KY, the grass is really thick and green. Here, when you see grass it is thin and hair-like.

So far it has rained 3 times...and its monsoon season. The highest temperature I've seen was 119 degrees! But it usually stays around 110 now. It is very hot. Although it is a dry heat, its almost tolerable. You have to drink a lot of water. I like it here though, it is a really, really big city. I think, it is one of the biggest I've been in.

And thats my big moving trip. Hope you enjoyed my little story!

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/21109925/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/21109925/ Wed, 22 Oct 2008 12:32:23 PDT
A woman named Mary Cook contacted me and said she would love to buy the dress from me. I was very happy because she wanted my most expensive dress that I was selling for $150.

Then I found out she was from Illinios. It seemed kind of odd at the time to me, but she said she wanted to send a "shipper" to come pick it up from me. So, I figured that she was just some rich girl who could do that sort of thing when she really liked something.

The check came in yesterday and I thougth it was going to be for the amount of $150...becuase that is the price of the dress...but it was for $710 and a buisness check from LifePoint Hospitals Inc in TN and they have their bank in North Carolina at Wakovia Bank. My mom actually worked for LifePoint Hospitals once upon a time ago, and she did confirm that it was their bank. The check even had a water mark so it looked like the real thing.

When I recieved the check the woman told me to take my $150 out and send the rest of the money ($560) to her shipper through Wal-Mart...Alright, so, I'm not stupid and I knew something was deffinitely wrong with the check.

I told my bank about it this morning and they called Wakovia Bank. And I guess you can imagine what happened next....Yep, the check was a fake.

So I had to give them all the information I knew about the "Mrs. Mary Cook" whose e-mail is mmmrsmarycook@gmail.com, it is most likely a fake e-mail address and name since the first e-mail she wrote to me with was engelica.cook@yahoo.com. So, just a warning out there that if you are selling anything to a Mary Cook, Engelica Cook, or a Donna Bedwell (her shipper) don't cash the check they give you. It is a fake and you will be the one who has to pay all that money to your bank. Beware of anyone on craigslist that comes from Illinios, they should be shopping in a place closer to them.

Now, I didn't lose anything out of this. I still have my prom dress, it is still for sale, so I'm not really worried about anything. Just be careful about selling anything online to people.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/21082571/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/21082571/ Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:32:46 PDT
A lot has changed in my life...I bought a hamster who had babies and turned evil, so I found all the babies good homes and gave the mother back to the pet store (she would bite everyone), then I got a dog who has unexplained seizures... I have two jobs; one at Panera and the other at Incredipet (I just got a raise at Panera! Woot! Go ME!), I have a new car because my old one was rear-ended by a frat boy who wasn't paying attention, I cut my hair short, I sold one of my prom dresses for $150, and I bought a 55 gallon fish tank, because my 10 gallon was too small, but I am still looking for a stand to put it on (I bought it for $40 so it was a good deal).

So, thats about it in a nutshell. I know, it has been FOREVER and I have missed you all! I'll have some new work up soon. They are going to be a lot of Mordonsaged Photograms.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/18773337/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/18773337/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:43:07 PDT
I'll have to put up the pictures from my day later. I drew a mormon t-rex holding a bible, saying "I have many wives" and was followed by five egg wives. LoL And Amanda drew a really awesome woman with blue hair and I wrote "Nautical Nonsense" underneath of it. Then we drew two chalk outlines of our bodies and gave them pink blood (red chalk didn't come in the box) and I wrote "The death of the Muffin Man". It was really, really funny. LoL

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/18212424/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/18212424/ Wed, 07 May 2008 13:50:44 PDT
God, is a funny, funny guy. Yes, he is....Had me goin for a minute.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/18030573/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/18030573/ Fri, 25 Apr 2008 22:12:39 PDT
They should have just waited until Wednesday to tell me to call. I felt like pulling my hair out the entire time and, on top of that, I was pissed-off because they didn't call my cellphone. They called my house and my mom got the message after getting home from work.

I called them at 9:30 Wednesday morning. Technically, I was supposed to be in class, but I left early to work on my stuff later. I had to hear what they were going to say.

They didn't answer. I had to leave a message on a machine and I called like seven or eight times after that.

I didn't get any word back until 12:15...And what did they have to say to me? "Your test came back with adnormal cells."

Fuck. Life is unfair.

This coming Wednesday I get to get more test done. Only these are going to be a bit more painful. Yippee. I might have cancer.

I don't think I really have it though. The type of cancer the doctor said I might have doesn't run in either side of my family. Plus, these kind of test results happen sometimes and it is usually something else, like a virus. So, no worries.

It is really weird to be in my shoes right now. It feels as if someone on a soap opera should be wearing them right now. It is like I'm in the twilight zone though. It feels unreal. My mom was talking to me earlier today and she told me that at first she was upset and cried, but she told me, "If you do have cancer we'll fight through it."

I'm 20 years old and my mother is telling me all this. It is weird.

It is a really weird thing, the cancer. The cancer is just really weird.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/17604806/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/17604806/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 11:42:21 PDT
Well, haha on me because I didn't get it done. I thought I could do it later...I bet you can guess what happened...

I went to deliever my artwork at the university open gallery and then I hungout with my boyfriend and ate lunch with him...I decided it would be a good idea to drive to my home and pic up my G-card that I had left at home (its a card I need to eat at college)...well, I drove home and noticed my car's temperature was going up and up and up and wouldn't come back down...it was in the red at 250 degrees (that isn't good)....So I decided just to park it and stay home until my dad can look at it...I missed my 2:00 class and I'm praying to God that he gets here before 3:00, so I can make it to my 3:30 class...

Stupid car. She hates me sometimes, I swear. I call her Beatrice which is a French name that means, "bringer of joy". Yes, she does bring great joy to my life, but she is french and is sometimes a real bitch...maybe its PMS??? Who knows?

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/17557972/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/17557972/ Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:42:23 PDT Makes me sad that I can't come right now.

Money is the real issue, but there are a few underlying things as well...

I need my dad to check my car because I think it needs more anti-freeze and it needs an oil-change too.

Plus, Ashley was supposed to ride back with me so she can fly back to Iowa, but she's staying an extra week with her family. Her mother is going through kimo treatment and she wants to be there for support. I told her I didn't mind waiting a little longer to come down there (Her aunt could come get her next week if I can't come down there then).

Now next week I don't know if I can come or not. I'd have to cancel on going to Chicago with the art organization at Georgetown. We were going to visit a few musuems and we were going camping on our way up there. It would be a lot of fun, but I'm not sure if I want to go or not. Like I said, money is an issue right now and I might not be able to afford both the Monticello and Chicago trips. And I'd rather go to Monticello and see the friends I love than take a trip to a place that I've already visited.

So, next week will probably be better for me. I hope everyone doesn't mind.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/17380664/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/17380664/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:22:01 PDT
2,000 EVEN! YAY! AWESOME!

Okay, just thought I would share that and tell everyone I will be in Monticello March 28th-30th. I plan to stay over at COdy's house on Saturday, so be ready for a party! (If that is okay with you cody...I forgot ot s\ask you about it earlier.)

And my birthday is Friday I plan to see the movie Shutter and eat at my favorite Japanese Restaurant for some amazing sushi!!!

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/17315841/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/17315841/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:04:41 PDT I want to see everyone agian, so hopefully everyone can pencil me into their schedule. I'm probably going to come two weekends from now (remember that so we can have a party!).

So, Cody, Kim, Dani, Sam, Tabi, Erin, Allison and everyone try to get back to me as soon as you can so we can all hangout.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/16649179/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/16649179/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:44:17 PST
]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/15778556/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/15778556/ Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:02:38 PST Its a survey comparing who I was two years ago, to who I am today.

Two years ago as of today….

How old were you? 17
Where did you go to school?: Wayne County High School
Where did you work?: Nope didn't work then....I was lazy
Where did you live?: In a house in Bronston right across the Wayne County line
Where did you hang out?: In the Somerset Mall or at friend's houses
How was your hair style?: Kinda long, I did at one point cut bangs for myself.
Did you wear glasses?: Nope contacts.
Who was your regular-person crush?: hmm...I had a few back then, Tyler Choate, Isaac Neal, and Ryan Morrow
How many tattoos did you have?: None
How many piercings did you have? four, they were all in my ears.
What car did you drive? Didn't drive yet, I didn't have a car.
What was your worst fear?: Heights and rednecks with knives....it was wayne county for god sakes! It was like the movie deliverance everywhere you turned! LoL
You been arrested? Nope
Had your heart broken?: Yep, but only once during that year by Tyler...bad times.
Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter?: hmm, two years ago I was mostly single except for the random people I dated for short periods of time.


**HA HA HA!!! LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !!!!!**

How old are you? 19
Where do you work?: I don't work right now, but in October I worked at Keenland for the fall races.
Where do you go to school?:Georgetown College
Where do you live?: On campus and at my parents house in Lexington Kentucky
Where do you hang out?: On campus and at Fayette Mall
Do you wear glasses?: Nope, still contacts.
What is your hairstyle?: Its kinda long now, but I don't have bangs and I need to get a haircut. LoL
Still talk to any of your old friends?: Yep, a few of them...haha, I actually still talk to Tyler. We're good friends now.
Who is your current interest?: My boyfriend David, he's awsome!
How many piercings?: only two, I let the other ones grow over because I didn't like them anymore.
How many tattoos?: Still none, but I am thinking about getting one. It should be on an adventure! A professor of mine knows a woman in Italy who does the kind of tattoo-ing I want. But since I might be going to Japan this summer, I might try to find an artist there to do some traditional japanese work. (Although, most likely I won't get one in japan, I like to do research before to see if everything is sanitary...I'm afraid of SUPER AIDS!!! LoL)
What kind of car do you have?: 1989 White Camero, kickin it old school!!!
What is your biggest fear?: Not getting good grades in college and not being able to travel everywhere I want to go. (I concored the heights things! LoL)
Has your heart been broken?: Two years ago, yes, but now, no...I hope to keep it that way.
Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: I'm taken at the moment. I'm actually in the longest relationship I've ever been in and things are going really great! Woot woot!

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/15611814/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/15611814/ Wed, 21 Nov 2007 20:53:48 PST
O, well, so tell me how you've been lately???

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/14200617/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/14200617/ Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:05:58 PDT
I didn't really mean to, I just decided not to wait for him anymore. He acted all hot and cold all the time. Like he liked me one minute and then he didn't the next. I was going insane. So I got myself a nice guy to be my boyfriend instead of him.

I have to admit, a long time ago, I wanted nothing more than to prance around with a boy toy to see if he would feel any pain. The thought of using someone else made me sick, so I didn't even try it. Plus, I seriously didn't think he would care if I had a boyfriend. He even said he didn't want a relationship with anyone...so why does he act so hurt? He won't even hangout with me before we go to college. I asked him if he wanted to and he didn't even answer the question, he just went on to talk about something else. What the fuck? I waited so long for him to tell me his feelings and when I asked he never answered. I waited for over a fucking year! He has no right to be upset with me just because I decided to move on and date someone else.

I am so angry because he is acting this way. And I seriously am hurt. I don't know, its like he's the only person that can make me feel so horribly hurt that it actually causes physical pain. And right now, I feel like my whole chest is about the cave in on itself.

It sucks.

I think if I could completely move on, I won't have to feel this way anymore. Its like one minute you're the happiest you've ever been and the next you feel like you're dying. There is no middle ground, just high and low. And after so long you don't know whether you should be happy when you're happy. You have to spend that time preparing yourself for the low thats ahead. THAT IS NO WAY TO LIVE!

So, I decided to move away from that. And I'm almost completely over him.

I am so happy being with my boyfriend, I feel like I can be happy when I'm happy and if I ever feel bad I don't have to worry about dying.

I couldn't wait forever. I wasn't going to. It was killing me and to die/wait for someone who couldn't make up their own mind would be a waste of time.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/13623188/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/13623188/ Thu, 05 Jul 2007 15:51:35 PDT
Note to Self:...I should really stop using vulgar language when I'm upset; especially when I'm around small children...*sigh* Thats going to be a tuff one, a problem that may never change. LoL

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/13608532/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/13608532/ Wed, 04 Jul 2007 14:36:05 PDT
Its like a few things will go right and then a few more, and it gets to a point where I feel safe and good for a change. Then everything goes wrong all at once. Shit like this is just hard for me to handle because I work my ass off for just a small glimpse of hope, and when I think I'm about to have a lot of bad shit fixed and delt with, it all comes back. And when I say everything, I mean everything, all the shit I've ever had to deal with in the 19 years I've been alive. Stuff like moving, dad's drug problem, how hard it is to find help in bad situations, depression, heartache, loneliness, being lied to, and betrayal; not to mention remembering every bad moment that changed my life forever. I hate bad memories, I'm glad they're making a drug to get rid them.

I don't know who to be angry at anymore. Myself, for letting people affect my life, my father, for his cocaine addictions and selfish mistakes, my mom, for asking me to stay here in this Hell, my brother, for telling me that he'd let me live with him and then neglect me to my point of starvation, or God, for making me go through all this when I gave Him my trust and belief. I don't want to ever trust anyone again.

Not one single fucking person because everytime I do, it just causes me more suffering and its always from the people I love the most. Fuck them! Fuck them all! I can't deal with their shit anymore. And how dare they use love as some form of guilt trip, that I have to take care of them and be there for them, when they have done so much shit to me.

I'm not going to let them jerk me around anymore. I want to live a selfish life for the very first time. I want to be in total control over my own life. Then maybe, I can finally feel a form of peace.

Yeah, I know what you'll do. Write that everything will be okay, give me a hug or nice gesture, tell me you know how it is. Thanks for that, really, but please don't write this time. It makes me feel like a horrible person to complain when there are people who have it way worse than I do. Nice comments just amplify that fact and make me feel even more horrible than I already do. I know you care, so you don't have to tell me you do. Thanks for your time, I just needed to vent. ]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/13353301/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/13353301/ Fri, 15 Jun 2007 08:30:07 PDT
Well, thats about it for now. I'll try to upload more things when I go back home.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/12497225/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/12497225/ Sat, 07 Apr 2007 13:48:28 PDT
To put a long story short here are some things that we did.
*Saw dinosaur bones, including Sue, the most complete T-Rex.
*Saw some nifty jewelry and even Elvis's golden lighter.
*Went to the Art Institute of Chicago and saw a bunch of awsome and famous paintings! SO MUCH FUN!!! WOOT!
*Watched the musical "Wicked" and it is now my favorite.
*Ate at some nice places and did a lot of crazy fun things. I even saw a mailbox that looked like R2D2! LoL

Well, there is a lot to my adventure in Chicago, but I don't feel like typing that much. LoL And I had a great time!

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/12402821/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/12402821/ Sat, 31 Mar 2007 13:44:13 PDT
I wish I could let someone have me. Use me. Thats all anyone wants from me. I hate it. I really do.

So, I don't want to be me anymore. If I looked like someone else, maybe things would be different. If I were so ugly no one wanted me, I think I could be happy.

But I'm too stubborn to be something I'm not. Believe me, right now I'd like to take razors and cut my face to pieces, but I'd never do that. I'm not weak. And I hate the fact that I'm not weak. I wish I could just give up. Lie down and die. Submit to an idea that is in fashion. Let someone have me. But I can't because I'm not like that.

I know who I am. I just hate the fact that I am myself. And I hate the fact that I won't even try to be someone I'm not. I hate being me.

Its like no one can say, "I miss you", and just mean that. Or say, "I care about you", and mean nothing more. No one wants to be simple around me. They only want to complicate things. And then when they learn who I am, the fact that I'd never submit to a stupid idea, they leave. Every single one of them. And while I am happy they are gone, its just, I'm starting to wonder if there is anyone who is different than them. I really don't think so.

"When in Rome, do as the Romans do". It feels like Rome is everywhere and I can't get out. I don't want to be a Roman. I just want to be me. If everyone is a Roman, who will be there to stand beside me?

I will just have to die alone. I can't let myself become a Roman. Its just not who I am.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/12327284/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/12327284/ Sun, 25 Mar 2007 18:38:52 PDT
"I Don't Love You"

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/12016769/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/12016769/ Thu, 01 Mar 2007 16:56:18 PST
You know how people complain sooo much about christianity? It makes no sense to me. They should say things about the people who go to far with their religion, but no, it seems like the only thing people want to do is prove christianity to be false...they forget that they themself couldn't be steered from their opinions, so why do they do the same thing that the christian-extremist do?

It makes no sense. To me it seems like no one wants to respect anyone else's beliefs, they just have to try to prove their religion or their opinion is the best...why can't people understand that it doesn't matter?

I think religions are a great thing. I am a christian and I really do believe in God, but for me its more of a personal relationship. I worship the way I think is best for me, and that is what makes me happy. I know everyone isn't going to believe in the same things I do, so I just leave it at that.

I hate the people who ask the question, "Who created God?" Don't be stupid, no one knows and no one ever will. If I held up a pencil and asked you to prove to me it was real, how would you go about doing it? Is it because you can see it or touch it?....Well, what if I told you that this world could all be just be a dream? It could all just be inside your head and you would never even know.

No one can really prove that anything exist. If you believe in this world, it will be real to you, so live the life you want. If you have any respect for other people then you'd let them do the same.

I know what I believe in and if someone wants to talk about how their beliefs differ from mine, then that is fine. I like for people to talk to me about their religion or beliefs, it helps me to better understand who they are and I like knowing people. It makes me sad that a lot of christians don't do the same because it says in the Bible that a person shouldn't judge others. And it makes me sad that people try to prove christianity wrong, they act like the same people they don't want to be.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11951824/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11951824/ Sat, 24 Feb 2007 18:42:14 PST
Why? You ask...well, getting a better score on my ACT wouldn't make me happy. I know it wouldn't. In the book I was reading to help me on the ACT (which it didn't) it said that the test was only there to prove that you can get more right answers than somebody else. I'm sick of trying to be better than everyone else. I've been trying to do that my whole life and its never made me happy. So fuck it. I'm not doing it anymore.

The only reason I'm even writing this is so people, like me, can know that trying sometimes isn't good enough and even natural talent is sometimes not even good enough. And you'll never be happy if you try too hard or only do something because your good at it. Both those things will only make you tired and sick. You have to ask yourself if your happy with what you do. If your truly proud with your work even if someone else thinks it shit.

So from now on, I don't care if the world thinks that somebody else is better than me. I'm not the best person in the world, but I'll do the best that I can and I'll do what makes me happy. Fuck the ACT, I'm not taking it again. I'm not going to let people tell me I'm less of a person just because I made a worse score than someone else. In the end, we're all the same. We're not less of a person just because it seems that someone is better than us. And I'm just sick of trying to be better than other people.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11758615/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11758615/ Sat, 10 Feb 2007 10:25:22 PST
]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11747928/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11747928/ Fri, 09 Feb 2007 13:48:56 PST
I know, everybody is going to tell me that I am, which is really nice (I love you for that), but at the same time not helping the fact that I don't think I am good enough.

I asked my mom the other day what I was doing wrong because nothing ever seems to ever workout. I mean NOTHING and whats worse is its like everything is going wrong and nobody, but me, is going to have to fix everything...and no one can do everything, so it would be assumed that no one could fix everything either....so how am I supposed to fix everything by myself? I have no idea and I am confused.

I don't know, it just feels like I can't hope for anything anymore. When I hope everything seems to be going great and then all of a sudden everything just blows up in my face without a warning. Kinda like a time bomb.

I'm exhausted from caring the time bomb of hope, but I'm going to do it anyway because I don't know of any other way to live.

O well, heres an hour long funny thing you can watch called Amv Hell 3....
[link]

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11726404/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11726404/ Wed, 07 Feb 2007 18:14:12 PST
*If ya haven't noticed in the gummie pic I took, Steve is all messed up like a mighty morphin power ranger, yep, found him in me 3 pound bag of gummie bears, couldn't help myself, had to share the love!*

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11639636/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11639636/ Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:55:23 PST
I don't know, I guess I feel kinda happy that I had so much fun, especially since my life right now has been pretty confusing and hectic lately.

*interesting random fact!*

In China they believe that koi who manage to swim upstream, through the rapids of the Yangtze River will be transformed into dragons as a reward. That is why koi are a symbol of strength, determination, and perserverance.

*Song Lyrics*
"Pieces" by Sum 41

"I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don't believe it makes me real
I thought it'd be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

:Chorus:
If you believe its in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
Sometimes its so crazy
That nothing can save me
But its the only thing that I have

:Repeat Chorus:

On my own

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
Its hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

:Repeat Chorus:"

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11625534/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11625534/ Tue, 30 Jan 2007 16:16:24 PST
"Startling photos of the little boy wizard" LMFAO!

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11314353/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11314353/ Thu, 04 Jan 2007 14:29:08 PST
I thought it was kind of interesting. Manananggals are even in daily newspaper articles in the philippines. They say that if you find the lower half, you should put salt, ash, or crushed garlic on it, so that the manananggal can't attach itself, and then when the sun comes up, the monster will be distroyed.

There is another creature called a Penanggal (in Malaysia), but when it separates, it only takes it's head with the lungs, stomach and intestines attached to it, the penanggal will have a pre-made jar of vinagar that it puts all its insides into, so they won't rot. You can destroy a Penanggal by pouring broken glass into it's neck opening, or by cremating the body or keeping the creature from attaching itself until sunrise.

I do love myths and legends. And the philippines, has like the most mythological creatures of any place I've ever heard of, it's awsome though, because I think alot of them are linked into myths we have here. Its really cool.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11204172/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11204172/ Tue, 26 Dec 2006 18:41:56 PST
I already got the some New Years Revolutions all ready for next year.
1) Try to learn how to live in the happiness and love that other people offer, instead of focusing on the bad stuff that could happen. Basically, learning to just be more trusting of people, like friends, and family, and even my own opinion.
2) To live a life with less stress. I might try yoga classes. LoL
3) .....*sigh*...This is going to sound cheesy, but I'd like to try to believe in myself a little more, cause I know that this year was pretty hard and sometimes it just feels like I've been nothing, but a failure, and I guess if my family, friends, and even teachers can believe in me, well, I should be able to too.
4) Just try to be a better person and try to always be there for the people I care about.

And thats all I got so far. There will probly be some more later, but I think this is a good start towards next year. =-D

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11178878/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11178878/ Sun, 24 Dec 2006 17:24:46 PST
AND CHRISTMAS!

YESH! ALL of that stuff is related to christmas. LoL

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11086501/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/11086501/ Sat, 16 Dec 2006 17:44:46 PST
Anywho, my family has been getting ready for the holidays, which this year I'm not looking forward to Christmas at all. My grandma and aunt are supposed to be coming over, and I pray that they decide not too. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that my family (dad's side) has been at war since March, when my grandma and grandpa got a divorce. The only reason why they are coming here is because everyone else has excommunicated them. Not only that but every time my dad talks to my grandmother she says something to make him upset....Like on Thanksgiving when she told him not to show up....So, I hate holidays. I truly do. I only hope that someday they will eventually get better, but I doubt it.

My mom always tells me that I should celebrate Christmas because it is Jesus's birthday....I will let everyone know, that studies have proven that Jesus was born in the summer and that Christmas was actually a day celebrated for a sun god.

And my grandma (mom's side) used to tell me that I shouldn't have anything with X-mas written on it because it cuts Christ out of chritmas. Which actually the X is in the greek alphabet, it stands for "chi" meaning christ.

Well, hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! =-P

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10789432/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10789432/ Mon, 20 Nov 2006 13:38:16 PST
I'm only going to submit a few things right now, because for some reason I can't seem to get anything on here with a thumbnail and you can only see the pictures if they are in full view...Weird...I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but if anyone knows, tell me how I can fix it.

UPDATE: Okay, I think the problem is solved! Yay! LoL

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10467400/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10467400/ Sat, 21 Oct 2006 15:59:26 PDT
My sister wanted to get her nails done and the designs that she got were handpainted. They look really nice. While she and my mom did that, I stayed in the car and talked to my dad. We bought milkshakes at an ice cream shop. Mine was blueberry. It was good. LoL

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10446810/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10446810/ Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:37:07 PDT I took a few days to think and now, I think that I am ready to try. You know I've always thought I wanted someone to just hold my hand and tell me that everything is okay...and I think, "Why hasn't anyone?"...Either they didn't want to, or I wouldn't let them...and it's just hit me, that, maybe, I never needed someone to hold my hand. I am fine on my own.

Boy Proof, by Cecil Castelluci:
"Sometimes, Victoria, the joy is in knowing how much you want to share something and learning how to enjoy it alone. Alone is different from lonely."

You know, when I read that, it said alot to me, even though my name isn't, Victoria. You know, I have my friends, I have my family, I have a lot. I guess, I've just been holding myself back. Being Afraid.

Well, I'm done with being afraid. It's time to try on a new frame of mind. To try something different. Try to be daring. It's time to actually try.

(Sry, I'm a sappy person in my inspirational moments. LoL)

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10185249/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10185249/ Mon, 25 Sep 2006 18:00:32 PDT

Still trying to fix my scanner though, I have no idea what the problem is with it....I might just kick it and see what happens? LoL, Thanx to all who are being so patient! Yay for you!

Don't forget to tip your pimp hats!

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10155961/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10155961/ Fri, 22 Sep 2006 20:11:15 PDT
Well, today was pretty good. I might be going to a birthday party tomorrow, instead of Homecoming. Why you ask? because Homecoming does not have karaoke and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey. LoL. Plus, I don't really know anyone who is going to it. I've only been here about....hmmm.....this makes 2 weeks now, so I don't know that many people yet. O, well, there is always prom and the other dances they have throughout the year. =-D

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10089596/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10089596/ Sat, 16 Sep 2006 09:53:23 PDT


Thats all I have to say.......... I miss so much! ]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10050550/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10050550/ Tue, 12 Sep 2006 13:55:03 PDT
Drawing
Culinary Arts/Skills
Health (I had to take this because they wouldn't take JROTC)
English 4

Chemistry
Crafts
Earth/SPace Science (Had to take this because its required for the school)
Pottery


I did have Painting, but I had to switch it with Chemistry, so I ended up with Crafts. LoL, it's not so bad, I have most of the classes that I wanted. Plus, I have alot more art classes, which makes me very happy. =-D ]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10040249/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/10040249/ Mon, 11 Sep 2006 15:29:08 PDT
I start my new school tomorrow. It's called Lafayette High School. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I guess it's nerves, maybe it's because my dad wanted me to live here all of a sudden and I didn't get to say good-bye to everyone.

I hope some people can understand why I had to move. It's my decision, and therefore, it is my fault, and I take full responsibility for it. No one should blame themselves or someone else for my choice. (Just wanted to make that clear.)

Well, I'll give you guys an update tomorrow on how my first day goes.

OMG!!!! I didn't even notice what today was.....*gasp!*.....Who would have thought that I would have switched schools on 9/11!!!!!! ]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9771031/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9771031/ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 11:41:09 PDT
You know I used to think my life was pretty much a puddle of acrid gray matter, but now it doesn't seem so horrible. I like this place where I am right now, even if there really isn't anything to do. It gives me time to think and have the freedom to be myself, which I had to wait a really long time for.....

I think my mom is going to give me a little bit of money to go to the mall before I go back home. I want to buy the second manga of "Paradise Kiss". A friend of mne let me borrow the first book, and I thought it was really good. It's about this girl who gets chosen to be a model by these 4 quirky students, who go to a High School for designers. It's really crazy. You'll have to read it.

O, yeah, before I forget, I'm sorry I haven't been posting anything lately. I don't have a computer at my house anymore, so I have to wait to buy a new one. I have a few new things finished, so I'll try to post them as soon as I get a chance. =-D

About the title: My older brother is named Randy, and my younger sister and I like to pick on him, sometimes we just kinda scream, "DANCE, DANCE RANDA PANDA!". It's one of the many things I do that are dorky and don't make since. LoL ]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9752728/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9752728/ Wed, 16 Aug 2006 19:49:56 PDT
Read the book 1984 by: George Orwell in English class, it's pretty good. It was written in like 1903, so it's supposed to be based on the future. It's about this guy who is in a society where the officals of his country are deleting words from the dictionary, documents in history, and basically limiting the thoughts of it's people to make them conform to their thought of the human race. If someone commits "thought crime" they are "vaporized", meaning they never existed. It's pretty good, only two slow reading spots, but other than that, I really enjoyed it.

Tomorrow I get to go to a dermatologist. I hope they laser my face off....Yes, I was an acne reject. Most of it has cleared up, but now I have all these really weird scars. I don't really feel bad about them, actually to tell you the truth, I'm glad I got acne. I think I learned alot from the experience, but I think it's time to say good-bye to that part of my life. LoL

I suppose thats about it for the moment. Just thought I'd share a story or two. LoL

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9579661/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9579661/ Wed, 02 Aug 2006 17:13:41 PDT
1st Semester
1. Honors English 4
2. Art History 105
3. Pre-Calculus
5. Survey and Technology (Didn't want this one, evrything else was taken.)

2nd Semester
1. Trigonometry
2. Video Productions
3. Culinary Skills
5. Biology 112

Clubs
1. Drama
2. Folklore/Ghost Stories
3. BETA (I might switch out of this one, but I want the sash you get at graduation, for joining. Plus, it looks good for college. LoL)

And there you have it. Thats what I'll be doing all year. =-D ]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9561090/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9561090/ Tue, 01 Aug 2006 01:37:49 PDT
Well, okay, I'm pretty mad at my dumbass school for not giving me hardly any classes I wanted and signed up for.....I'm upset because I didn't get phycology or sociology, and I signed up for those for THREE FUCKING YEARS!!! DEAR, JESUS, YOU'D THINK THEY'D GIVE ME THOSE AT LEAST FOR ONE OF THOSE YEARS!!!!! And they didn't give me ART or VIDEO PRODUCTIONS!!!! THOSE BITCHES!!!!!.........okay, *deep breath, trying to calm down*........THOSE FUCKERS!!!!! They are going to wish they would have givin me those classes to, cause I'm going to have to raise some Hell this year!

Anywho, I'm kinda mad at my brother too. Just because he lets his girlfriend walk all over him. Let me tell you why she got mad at him today........because he doesn't want to get an apartment. Thats stupid. My parents have just moved out and me and my brother have this whole place to ourselves. Why would he want an apartment, when things are basically good where he is, and a hell of a lot cheeper?.....She gets on my nerves.......If I was my brother I would have left her a LONG time ago, or, no, I take that back, I wouldn't have started a relationship in the first place....Maybe they're ment for eachother though? Cause they are both retards!

Okay, now that the bad things are already talked about, here are the nice things........Well, my parents and sister moved out and I have a place with my brother. HOO HAA! I'm so happy! *dances* O, and when my brother's girlfriend was speeding down the road, she stopped to rant (like a retard) and found a little kitten. And brought him here. He's so adorable and he is the most affectionate cat I've ever known!.....but I might have to give him away, my 2 other cats don't like him......I'm still going to call him Deeter until I find him a good home. Hey! If anybody wants to give a really nice kitten a good home, you should tell me.

Well, thats about it for now. Yeah, I know, I type ALOT! But I really don't mean to, I guess I just have to many thoughts. LoL ]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9526953/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9526953/ Fri, 28 Jul 2006 20:12:15 PDT



]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9461365/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9461365/ Sat, 22 Jul 2006 19:26:02 PDT
I thought I needed some sort of a change in my life so yesterday I took the scissors to my hair and ended up only giving it a trim. It looked good, but I didn't think it was enough.

Anywho, so I got some hair dye from Wal-Mart....cause I'm kinda drastic sometimes.....it was supposed to be this really dark red color and, well, if you see someone who has orange hair, don't worry it's just me....hehe....At first I kinda freaked out, but when it dried, I decided I really, really liked it. Plus, I did want to make my hair more yay, then blah....I just didn't think the yay would turn-out to be a YAY!!!!!!! LoL

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9454226/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9454226/ Sat, 22 Jul 2006 01:44:49 PDT
I feel so hurt by my best friend, all the time. Whenever I talk to her, I feel like crap, and then when I don't talk to her, I feel even worse. I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel so alone, like I have nobody else to hang-out with anymore. I don't know what to do.....

And to make things worse, my parents are trying to get me to move with them in Lexington. And I don't know what to do, because in a way, I want to leave, just for the hope of something better, but I feel like I can't leave because it's my senoir year and I want to graduate with all my friends.........here is where my dad said, "But you don't have alot of friends here."........Thanx dad, I love you so much too......

And this is actually a repeat of why I moved here in the first place......I don't know why this stuff keeps happening, it's like everywhere I go, the same damn story over and over.......And I have been to a million places........I guess, I was never ment to ever belong anywhere.......I hate myself for being so different all the time, I try to hide it, but it seems like everyone just sees that because it's been this way as long as I can remember.

O, well, I suppose I'm just being really stupid right now, but I needed to vent. Maybe I'll feel better after I go shopping tomorrow. My brother was talking about playing some Dungeons&Dragons with Gage and Lance on Tuesday, which is always fun. I have a kick ass character.....

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9237293/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/9237293/ Fri, 30 Jun 2006 23:15:03 PDT
Thought I'd update and say thanks to all those that actually look at my artwork.

It actually matters to me that people take the time to look at some of it. I don't really know why, but when I figure that out, I'll be sure to tell you. LoL.
I mean, even if you are one of those people who just kinda pass by, not commenting or anything because you think it's just okay, I'll be sure to go to your page and leave you a "Thanx for visiting" comment. LoL.
If you are somebody who is watching me or just stops by every now and again, I hope you know that you are greatly appritiated and I LOVE you!!!.........Not like a creepy stalker love, or I want to hump your leg love, but a friendship type love. LoL

Haha, hell yeah, I love you my friends!!!!!



]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8969513/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8969513/ Sun, 04 Jun 2006 14:30:38 PDT
"The Hebrew word “Sheol” and the Greek word “Hades” basically refer to the place of the dead. They mean the common grave of mankind, gravedom, or the earthly place where the dead are buried. The Hebrew word that specifically means an individual grave or burial place is “qever.” (Genesis 23:4, 6, 9, 20) These words do not in any way mean a place where dead people suffer pain.

The idea of eternal torment in Sheol or Hades is not consistent with the true meaning of these words! The only reference in the Holy Scriptures that speaks of someone suffering in the grave is found at Luke 16:23 where Jesus Christ is obviously presenting an illustration, something symbolic, in order to teach a lesson. This was perhaps hyperbole or an exaggeration to emphasize an important spiritual lesson.

HELL: In the seventeenth century, when the King James Version of the Bible was written, people stored their potatoes in hell. Hell was a cellar, a pit where root vegetables were stored, and the grave where dead people were buried. The word hell is not found in the New Simplified Bible. This is because the vast majority of the religious population today thinks hell is a place of everlasting torment. Proper translation of the Hebrew and Greek words lead us to understand that it is simply the grave."

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8883065/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8883065/ Fri, 26 May 2006 11:46:04 PDT
1) I cut my own hair and I think it looks quite spiffy.

2) I have a very crazy family. (don't ask) And they always leave me with a lot of stories to tell about them. (good & bad.)

3) I like dancing, even to music I don't like.

4) I have a scar on the bottom of my foot that looks like a heart. (I hate my feets, LoL)

5) My eyes change color.

6) My hands look really creepy, but I like them cause they look like my mom's. She plays piano, so we both have really long fingers. LoL.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8724216/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8724216/ Tue, 09 May 2006 18:59:24 PDT
Here is a new word for ya. LoL. I took some personality test and it told me I was a little bit of this.
Sry, this journal entry is somewhat stupid, but I needed to update. LoL

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8605542/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8605542/ Thu, 27 Apr 2006 19:12:48 PDT
2) "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the worl and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." E.B. White

3) "Look, I don't want to sound philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therfore, you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive." Mel Brooks

4) "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." Robert Frost

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8487620/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8487620/ Sun, 16 Apr 2006 09:58:51 PDT
I'm kind of annoyed as of right now. I found out that there are alot of.....erm.....forces.....*cough, cough*.......working against me.

Yay....I'm....so....happy.......

Got my report card the other day.....It wasn't that good.....and my art teacher, which I happened to have liked....gave me a zero for not working in class.........we just shot his damn film on Friday and I have been drawing in there for the past couple of days.......not that he would have noticed......He can't even remember my name! Keeps calling me Natalia, from his stupid film.....

Then of course there are my sweet, sweet friends, that I usually hang-out with.......(This doesn't include Erin, she's cool.)........Who are treating me like shit, as of right now, and I don't know why. It's like my opinion doesn't even matter anymore because they want to brainwash me into their type of thinking. I am NOT like them, so why would I want the same things as they would? Why can't they understand that I don't like to be pulled around like some dog on a chain? I HATE it........And when I try to tell them things, they just act like it doesn't even matter....It sucks.
And people ask me why I don't like to talk about things.......

It's all so very stupid, I wish I didn't care about any of it.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8460446/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8460446/ Thu, 13 Apr 2006 15:27:44 PDT
Well, after this year ends and summer begins, everything is going to change in my life. I don't really know exactly how much will, but a few things are certain; I'm going to start living in a house with my older brother, I'll be able to drive, and I will be alone more than I am now.
I don't know whether to celebrate or to be frightened, but I guess thats just how it is when you are leaving a life you have known for so long. I guess I will have to remember three rules....

1) If you feel alone, when surrounded by friends, make new ones. (Note: this doesn't mean you have to leave your old ones.)

2) If you feel as if you want to die, start actually living. (Note: If not for yourself, then for the people you care about.)

3) Do not fear other people's opinions, even when they are about you. Define yourself and stay true to who you are.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8315656/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8315656/ Thu, 30 Mar 2006 15:37:18 PST
Anyway, the letter told me that one of my thoughts will be published in a book. It was, "If You Think It Will Help", which to tell you the truth, I didn't really think it was very good, I don't think anything I write is any good, but I suppose someone out there did....hmmm.....I wonder.....Is that someone on medication? LoL.

Well, whatever the reason, there are going to be people who are going to read it. LoL.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8267954/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8267954/ Sat, 25 Mar 2006 18:31:58 PST
I think I will have to remember this one. LoL.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8205008/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/8205008/ Sun, 19 Mar 2006 08:24:06 PST
My artwork has changed so much and so have I....I'm different then what I was about a month or two ago and I think I've become a bit better, there is still a lot to work on, but I think I've grown a lot as myself. And I think it shows.

Of course I'm the same in a lot of ways. I think I will always be a dork. LoL. Which is totally fine with me. I couldn't care less. LoL.

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/7889960/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/7889960/ Tue, 14 Feb 2006 02:04:35 PST
One thing I do is that I see stories everywhere. Mostly in the tltles of songs that are on CDs. Have you ever noticed that sometimes the titles can make stories? okay I'll give an example.......

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 12 Stones CD ~ Potter's Field

"Shadows" sing "The last Song" "Far Away" as they "Speak Your Mind" for you and your "Lifeless" "Bitter" lover. You are only a "Photograph" of a "3 Leaf Loser" now. You have nothing left to do, but "Stay" here and let time pass, while you are "Waiting for Yesterday" "In Closing" moments of your youth.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, that might not make to much sense, but it actually has a lot of meaning if you think about it. Sry, I am a little weird and when I look at the song titles, that story always seems to pop up. LoL

Well, Happy Valentine's Day to All!!!!!!!

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/7874729/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/7874729/ Sun, 12 Feb 2006 14:41:56 PST
"Tonight I feel ambitious and so does my foot
as it sinks on the pedal
I press it to the floor
I don't need a girl, don't need a friend
Cause my friend Lonesome's unconditional
We're flying forever bored
And for a moment I love everything that I see and think and feel
I love my broken side view mirror
Cause it's so perfect
I'm so perfect
You're so perfect
You're not here
I hear the change in gears

My pile shakes as I hit eighty on the open road
This is an open road song

The night is beckoning
Although I have nowhere to go but home
Feels good to be alone
With every turn comes a new frame of mind
If I could frame my mind
Where would it hang?

My pile shakes as I hit eighty on the open road
My pile shakes as I hit eighty on the open road
My pile shakes as I hit eighty on the open road
This is an open road song

I crack a window
and feel the cool air clease my every pore
As I pour my poor heart out
To a radio song that's patient and willing to listen
My volume drowns it out
Yeah, but that's O.K. cause I sound better than him anyway, any day
Yeah, my voice is sweet as salt
I search for comfort and I find it where I've found it many times before
Times before can be forgotten
yeah

My pile shakes as I hit eighty on the open road
My pile shakes as I hit eighty on the open road
My pile shakes as I hit eighty on the open road
This is an open road song"

Eve 6 ~ Open Road Song

]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/7818850/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/7818850/ Mon, 06 Feb 2006 12:55:14 PST


]]> ~Blazegrl http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/7812105/ http://Blazegrl.deviantart.com/journal/7812105/ Sun, 05 Feb 2006 18:05:19 PST
There are so many thoughts running through my head right now. I'm starting to wish for many different things.

*I wish someone would call me right now and just talk to me. They could talk about anything or ramble on about nothing and, for a moment, I wouldn't feel so alone.

*I wish I could cry in front of someone right now. I would cry and cry and cry, but I can't do that. because I'd feel like a burden. Like, I'd be wasting that person's time. No one should have to help me carry my pain, I should be able to do that myself.

* I wish I could scream at someone. I would tell them my whole life's story and I wouldn't feel as if all these memories were eating me alive. But I can't scream at anyone. I would never make anyone listen to my sob story; besides memories should stay in the past where they belong.

*I wish I could explain this feeling that resides in my heart, but I can't even find the words to say what kind of feeling it is. I don't know what to call it.

*I wish I could end all these wars, that rage within me. I'm confused, I don't know what to do, and......

*I wish someone would give me a hug and say, "Everything will be okay."

*I wish I would let someone do that, but I would feel guilty. No one should have to do that. No one should have to put-up with me or waste their time with me. I shouldn't be this way, but the sad truth is I am....I shouldn't even be writing this all down. And I really, truly am sorry if you read this.....

It's just that I had to say something. I couldn't keep it all in anymore. I needed to confess and.....for the first time, step out of the darkness, that I know as silence.

]]> ~Blazegrl