http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Btalman&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Btalman en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:32:53 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/19734579/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/19734579/ Sat, 02 Aug 2008 11:29:21 PDT Bizarre, how feelings can make you continue things that will eventually hurt you. But hey, I can still mean something to them by ignoring myself, ignoring the fact this keeps hurting so bad and just by being there, listening, giving advice. Trying to prevent happening to them what they did/happened to me.
Worst of all, my birthday is tomorrow. And yes, it'll be a disaster. For the first time in 26 years bad weather is expected. Like 20% chance of some sunshine and 90% rain.... To add a little insult to injury, nor birthdaycards have arrived today, absolutely none. Yes my birthday is tomorrow, but come on, no mail on sunday. Ah yess, let's add a little something to that. Quite a number of people have canceled, so I've got far too much wine, soda, beer, chips, olives, toast, cheeses, everything. And finally yay, my sister won't be coming to my birthday, again.... The distance from there to here is supposed to be to big. But hey? Didn't I travel to her place? Yup, 3 hours by train, but I did it and will keep doing it. I was expecting her to come, but only heard she wasn't coming via some indirect way a few hours ago.
So yes, life is 'great' especially when there are people around you who notice things are not so ok, who migt try sending a little energy and support your way instead of the other way round. If I could only go to sleep tongiht, and not wake up. Lie just the way that fly did in the food I ordered today (after which I threw all of it away, so I haven't eaten anything as well...) Just be found cold. Some people will be here tomorrow so it won't be a big thing to find someone who will take care of the cats/notice I'm gone. They're my biggest worry, what if I'm gone, just poof, never wake up. Who will take care of them, and the people I took care of?

]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/15558947/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/15558947/ Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:35:04 PST
]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/13101503/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/13101503/ Sat, 26 May 2007 13:34:28 PDT But this is not one-way traffic. Since you are contributing a lot at a few communities you start to expect something in returrn. You start to expect to see people online, to keep in touh since you try to keep in touch. But everytime you're online they're not and, probably, the other way around. So you start to feel neglected and put in a lot of your time, being online, waiting for your 'friends' to get online too, but they don't. It's just one step away from feeling neglected. So feeling sorry for yourself you decide to not be online as much, resulting in all the people you expected to be online, in feeling the way you did, or still do.
So is this just something brewing in my mind, or do we really create online communities which don't really differ from real life? The only difference is that when those friends do get online,e verything is OK all of a sudden. Try to ignore your reallife friends for a few days and they'll be mad as hell or, even worse, 'disappointed'. But hey, this is the virtual world. You just get online whenever you want, wherever you want. And when you get online and see someone you haven't spoken to in a few days, weeks, months, everything is ok. That's the big difference. So do we need to expect less from our online friends? Do the unwritten rules for friendship not apply to virtual contacts?
Am i just a litle frustrated, or do I have a point? And why, WHY am I also starting to behave like that...?

]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/12600865/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/12600865/ Sun, 15 Apr 2007 04:05:44 PDT
]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11769300/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11769300/ Sun, 11 Feb 2007 06:41:04 PST

]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11645855/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11645855/ Thu, 01 Feb 2007 10:23:09 PST
Hey wait, it's not really yeaj. For starters, being a perfectionist, I personally think the paper sucks, but hey, I've mailed it allready, so can't help that one.

Secondly, and yes I do need to post this here, my thoughts go out to Lisette. Today I received a mail from one of my professors that my classmate Lisette all of a sudden died in her sleep while on holiday. You might know classmates, or people like Lisette, the quiet ones, not begging for attention, like I usually do, but just sitting in class, doing what she's been asked to. I'd hereby like to express my condolences to her parents, family and friends. Thoguh they might, or most likely will, never read this post, I still need to post this.

]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11582020/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11582020/ Fri, 26 Jan 2007 22:41:06 PST 1. Review one paper for class before tuesday
2. Write 3 750-word essays before friday
3. Totally rewrite my own paper before january 30....

My previous todo
1. Write 1 750 word essay before tomorrow 1700
2. Totally rewrite my own... *gah, see above
3. Prepare for an exam next thursday
4. Prepare for internship starting feb.

My current todo
1. Go to work, in about 1.5 hrs.... and fix someone a site
2. Totally rewrite my own paper...
3. Move the data for the exam next thursday to tuesday...
4. Prepare for internship starting feb

And it's too early today, for a weekend, man..... *yaaaaawn

]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11560470/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11560470/ Thu, 25 Jan 2007 03:12:48 PST 1. Review one paper for class before tuesday
2. Write 3 750-word essays before friday
3. Totally rewrite my own paper before january 30....

My current todo
1. Write 1 750 word essay before tomorrow 1700
2. Totally rewrite my own... *gah, see above
3. Prepare for an exam next thursday
4. Prepare for internship starting feb.

Hey, the list actually grew, wtf???????

]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11515435/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11515435/ Sun, 21 Jan 2007 09:03:36 PST 1. Review one paper for class before tuesday
2. Write 3 750-word essays before friday
3. Totally rewrite my own paper before january 30....

But the top priority of the moment, fooood!

]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11397597/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11397597/ Thu, 11 Jan 2007 11:41:04 PST , turns out to be hell. Almost no good primary soruces to be found, except those that cover the financial area's. All I wanted to do was write about coolies and socio-cultural life in the Indo-Chinese society, but apparently history has turned against me and only economic sources turn up....

Just to do something else I rewired my cablemodem after a major modemblackout today, thought rewiring might solve the problem, heck, it didn't. Most likely i was looking for an excuse to get away from writing this paper, to set my mind upon something else, to disregard anger and frustration (paper) hope and probable loss (well, love, as always) to disregard emotion in general. But why, why does ignoring emotions never work when you want to?

So hey, history and life may have it their way, tomorrow I'll try to continue my research covering 3/4th the economic position of the Chinese and the other 1/4th will be the intro and conclusion, and a little other stuff I could find. And now someone, anyone help me, I think i might need a hug...

]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11321371/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11321371/ Fri, 05 Jan 2007 06:45:54 PST ). And some more photo's are to be posted as soon as that film is full and digitized.

So between checking this site, and updating a lot of other digistuff I did last week I still need to finish a research paper of 30 pages (of which only five have been written at the moment...). So don't expect me to be online tomorrow, or the day after, maybe next week or so.

]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11298529/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/11298529/ Wed, 03 Jan 2007 08:42:50 PST
]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/9631387/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/9631387/ Mon, 07 Aug 2006 16:38:53 PDT
]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/9566371/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/9566371/ Tue, 01 Aug 2006 13:27:03 PDT Greetz, Bram ]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/4683258/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/4683258/ Sun, 27 Feb 2005 10:49:57 PST Now, when I'm settled and all problems are solved i wanted to scan a lot more photographs, but too bad, the glass of the scanner was broken, probably happened during the moving....
So I've got to save some money, buy another scanner, find some time and i'll be back,
Grtz. ]]> ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/4041644/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/4041644/ Sat, 11 Dec 2004 10:43:12 PST ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/3601597/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/3601597/ Sat, 16 Oct 2004 06:52:01 PDT ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/3595806/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/3595806/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 11:56:57 PDT ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/3524416/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/3524416/ Wed, 06 Oct 2004 05:41:09 PDT ~Btalman http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/3286863/ http://Btalman.deviantart.com/journal/3286863/ Sat, 04 Sep 2004 16:55:40 PDT ~Btalman