http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:COTTONCANDYx&section=today deviantART RSS for by:COTTONCANDYx en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:14:51 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/29052726/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/29052726/ Sun, 20 Dec 2009 02:25:02 PST
I am currently home for the holidays.
Though I looked forward to this..
Now I'm not so sure if this is what I want.
I'm going crazy here, by myself.
No one to distract me from my thoughts.
On top of that: no one to stop me from being stupid.
I can be very stupid, if I may be so bold = )

Well, it has been snowing here for a few days now.
My dad bought a new camera and I think I might make some pictures with it today of the landscape covered in beautifull snowflakes.
My life has been a mess for the last 2 or 3 months.
It's totally ridiculous and I sometimes question if it is even real.

We'll see what will happen next.
Be ready for snow-uploads.

With love,

Marije

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/24713614/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/24713614/ Tue, 12 May 2009 00:41:10 PDT
It's been a long time since my last journal entry.
That was about my stolen camera and how some DA-profiles get lost in translation even though they do have many great artwork on them.
Not really happy subjects i know.
So I'll be optimistic in this one ^^, to compensate you know

About one week ago I came back from my vacation in America, Salt Lake City.
Me and Zois went there for about 10 days en visited some beautiful places.
It kind of brought new peace in me to take a break from my everyday-life.
So now that I can let the past rest a bit I'm feeling good enough to be working on DA again and updating some new things

But not right now hihi (a) because I'm in school and i don't have any pictures on this computer.




Keep your head on straight.


So long,,

Marije

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/21182661/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/21182661/ Mon, 27 Oct 2008 07:11:46 PDT and that is not because i don't like the site anymore. (well... mostly not because sometimes DA can be really brutal to new members who won't get many pageviews and shit even tough they make great pictures/drawings/poets/etc.)
it's because of something that almost happend a year ago now.
i'm talking about when my camera was stolen (journal 'Camera crime' )
my very beautifull camera <3
and i feel like i have myself to blame for that.
and since then i just can't be happy with making photographs.
and apperenty that feeling doesn't fade in time.
it only gets worse.
so that's why.

thanks for reading = )
and watch your fucking camera everyone because you don't want this happening to y'all

-xx-

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/20092690/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/20092690/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 09:13:17 PDT
After a long long time i have finaly uploaded some photographs again.
They are from my vacation in Greece on the island Allonissos.
I went there with my boyfriend and his mom
(from 28-07 till 18-08)
I had a great time and i also have lots of pretty pictures ^^
I'm going to upload some more sometime in the near future.

For now: i'm sick and everything makes me grouchy so i'm going to wait with the uploading untill that's over.

Bye Bye

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/18587022/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/18587022/ Sat, 31 May 2008 02:45:49 PDT it's been chaos when it comes to school these days.
every teacher suddently thought: owh, i have to make that class do this and this and this and this before the end of the schoolyear.
so i've been very busy.
actually i still am.
just two weeks until vacation. but it doesn't feel like that's true.
i hounestly believe they are going to cancel our vacationtime and just keep us in school.
at the moment i don't have time to be on DA that often.

i apologize.
-xx-

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/17775384/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/17775384/ Thu, 10 Apr 2008 06:41:48 PDT

yeah!
1000 pageviews
seeing that makes my day a little better ^^


let's keep em coming = )

ps,, i have deleted all my poems on COTTONCANDYx
because i felt like my page wasn't very organised,,
i made a new profile just for poems [link]
this one will be only for photographing from now on ^^

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/17508702/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/17508702/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:18:58 PDT
ahh what the hell
i'm not doing this
stupid journal

* S.I.G.H.*

hmm it's 01-04-08 now
and i'm getting over my bad mood (finally...)
today i get my new camera ^^
i can't wait,,
it's an Olympus MJU 1010
not very good, but also nog very bad
uhm.. it's testweek at school..
so i'm gonna study some more now

goodbye

ps. i'm sick

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/17101190/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/17101190/ Thu, 28 Feb 2008 10:54:38 PST i love vacations
and i love snowboarding
so therefore: i love snowboarding when it's vacation
yeah B)

STOP!

i have to correct myself there:
i thought i loved it.
Because last week on wednesday
i was in Chez-Republic with a friend
and we went snowboarding.
and i fell on my head :'(
so now i have a concussion

i'm not allowed to computer/watch tv/read/listen music/do anything else that takes more then just breathing and watching floating dustpieces

well.. i do those things anyway

and uhm...
what else's going on?
hmm
well a lot ^^
but nothing that i want to share with the rest of the world

.G.O.O.D.B.Y.E.

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/16684226/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/16684226/ Sat, 02 Feb 2008 02:26:54 PST
Today it's Saturday
and i've just packed my stuff
because i'm gonna spend the weekend at my boyfriends' place
so that's gonna be fun probably ^^

I'm gonna upload some (uderwater)pictures
hope you'll like them = )

and also i'm going to upload a new poem
I wrote it yesterday
I was so confused and I knew that if i didn't wrote some of my thought down
I would explode or do something which i would regret later
but owh well ^^

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/16147029/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/16147029/ Sat, 29 Dec 2007 01:46:24 PST
that sounds a little to happy but oh well
yesterday i came back from my vacation in Belgium
i had a great time there,,
but (once again) i got sick
but that only lasted 3/6 days i was there
i made some photo's and wrote some poems
which i will add to my profile (or atleast the ones i find good enough,, so that'll be just a few)

and for everybody who reads this:
Merry Christmas and a happyhappyhappy new year

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/15911936/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/15911936/ Thu, 13 Dec 2007 01:54:51 PST well
today is my birthday
woeiiii
i'm 16 now, i can get drunk legally.. wel almost legally atleast i can drink legally now
?
and i didn't got any gifts
and i'm home alone
and everybody is at school
and i'm sick, for crying out loud
it's my fucking birthday and i'm already sick for 5 days
this sucks -.-'
well... atleast my boyfriend comes to visit me this afternoon
but i just feel depressed,, and every part of my body hurts and i'm tired and i shoke every time i cough
and i can't smoke because my throat hurts
so no sigarettes and no joints
tomorrow there's a festival,,
2nd influenz, with rockbands and stuff
so i really hope i feel better then. = )

here's the lyric from addicted,, i really like it

Have I told you how good it feels to be me
when I'm in you?
I can only stay clean
when you are around.
Don't let me fall.
If I close my eyes forever,
would it ease the pain?
Could I breathe again?

Maybe I'm addicted,
I'm out of control,
but you're the drug
that keeps me from dying.
Maybe I'm a liar,
but all I really know is
you're the only reason I'm trying.

I am wasted away,
I made a million mistakes.
Am I too late?
There is a storm in my head;
it rains on my bed
when you are not here.
I'm not afraid of dying,
but I am afraid of losing you.

Maybe I'm addicted,
I'm out of control,
but you're the drug
that keeps me from dying.
Maybe I'm a liar,
but all I really know is
you're the only reason I'm trying.

When you're lying next to me
love is going through to me.
Oh it's beautiful.
Everything is clear to me
'till I hit reality
and I lose it all...
I lose it all...

You're the only reason,
Yeah, you're the only reason I'm trying,
Oh, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying,
Don't want to lose it all,
Don't want to lose it all,
I'm trying, I'm trying..
I'm trying ...
Yeah, you know I'm addicted,
You know I'm addicted,
Yeah, you know I'm addicted....

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/15745177/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/15745177/ Sat, 01 Dec 2007 06:43:45 PST everything?
no not everything.
i want christmas
and my birthday
and i want to not loose anything or anyone = )
i don't know why
but i'm fucking happy = )

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/15433714/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/15433714/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:05:00 PST today the world was slightly goddamn fucking bad to me
at first, everything was fine
well better then fine to be hounest
in love very much in love
so i felt like i was in heaven
but then my cloud exploded and i fell straight to hell
i planned on going to a different cafe
and when i wanted to get by bag it wasn't there anymore
and my camera was in the bag.. my camera that's 450 euros
and my mariuhana,, but that't the least of my problems at the moment
so my parents could just kill me when i told them...

i guess i'm not gonna edit any photographs for a while...

well i'll keep the lost soul who reads this posted about the crime <3

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/15341232/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/15341232/ Sat, 03 Nov 2007 05:34:19 PDT and another journal
and also another mistake
Today one of my friends turned 16..
and we agreed to go out tonight
without telling our parents
but my mom found out about it
and now neither of us can go
so i basicly ruined a birthday
.. that feels realy bad
but still.. they did the same to me a while back
so: Zal ik springen van de randen dan trek ik haters mee
like they sing i the song i'm listening
it means: and shall i jump off the borders i will pull my haters with me
the songs title means: alone against the world
it's something that seems to fit to my emotions at the moment
i don't know why this had to happen
did i deserve this?
and if this is a learning experience i already learned my lesson long before
so why did this happen to me again?
i don't get it..

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/14939657/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/14939657/ Sat, 06 Oct 2007 10:58:07 PDT
pluh -.-'
i really believe life sucks at the moment
i feel so completly depressed and sad and tired and out of controll and aaaahh
i had a bad trip today,,
and it felt like the world fell on my head or something
I was so sick,, and dizzy and everything was turning for my eyes
and i had two panic-atacks and i fainted and omg,,
i really lost complete controll over myself

now i have to go to a psychiatrist
so that's gonna suck >.<
gaawd i hate this life.

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/14712303/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/14712303/ Thu, 20 Sep 2007 09:04:18 PDT but in spanish I walk straight into a brick wall
because I don't know the word *weekend* there

and I'm currently bored of english
so I didn't wanted to make a title that would irritate me
and here it is

Well,,
I've just uploaded some pictures
.. not sure why
I like neither one of them actualy
but the alternative of doing DA is doing homework
so I'm doing everything BUT
strange how stupid things always get so important when you have schoolwork to do

tomorrow after school I'm going to *cafehop* with my friends,
so I can count on it that i will be drunk

and Saturday I'm also going to *cafehop* with a friend
so I'm having a pretty busy weekend
which is great


-xx-

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/14484502/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/14484502/ Tue, 04 Sep 2007 09:14:01 PDT This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't bleed us again

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/13950082/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/13950082/ Tue, 31 Jul 2007 01:31:10 PDT
I don't know what's wrong with me.
Because even though I will be getting my new camera tomorrow.
And picking up a cat from the animal shelter. (His name is Basil and he's 6 years old, I'm giving him to my grandma who's 94 years old because she wants a new cat) I still feel like crap.
You must know the feeling, like life isn't worth living for.
On the bright side: this feeling gives me lot's of inspiration to write some poetry again.
I don't know when, but somewhere in august I have to go to the hospital to make sure I'm not insane, so I'm really looking forward to that .
Well I just might enjoy the drugs they'll put into me to get me calmed down ^^

I'm thinking about putting some poems on DA again but for now there just rough scetches (was that english?)

-xx-

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/13507370/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/13507370/ Wed, 27 Jun 2007 04:08:49 PDT
I'm SO frustrated!
That has got two reasons...

1. I'm totaly out of inspiration.

2. All my friends go on holiday at the same time and I have to stay at home.

And I have a headache -_-"
I hate the world ^^

-xx-

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/13375817/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/13375817/ Sun, 17 Jun 2007 01:33:54 PDT

had a party yesterday..
it was amazing, but now I'm very very very tired because of glandular fever.
it would've been better if I stayed home
but i wouldn't want to miss it for the world
I felt so happy there ^^

.. and I won with poker

-xx- Marije

p.s. My english seems to be a little off this morning...

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/13328381/ http://COTTONCANDYx.deviantart.com/journal/13328381/ Wed, 13 Jun 2007 10:56:50 PDT
my first day as a devaintart member.
feels pretty good ^^
everybody has to go to school
but because i've got glandular fever i'm staying at home for about 2 months now.
Staying home isn't that much fun as it may seem..
there are 2 reasons for that:
1. everybody is at school so you don't have anyone to talk to or to hang out with.
2. your ALWAYS tired and have to stay in bed for most of the day.

sow that sucks -.-"

In 2 days it's vacation,,
I hounestly can't wait, it's always so much fun to don't have to think about school or anything and go to the city or the beach with some friends, get drunk maybe or just good clean fun I don't really care it's all good (:

And having vacation means making lots and lots of photo's ^^
And the best thing is that I'm going to buy a new camera, so that everything can look better because the camera I have right now isn't that great...


Bye Bye
-xx- <3 Marije


p.s. VACATIONVACATIONVACATIONVACATION

]]> ~COTTONCANDYx