http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Cadyna-Isabella&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Cadyna-Isabella en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:51:25 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/7123173/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/7123173/ Wed, 23 Nov 2005 12:36:10 PST
This is it...Down to the wire, crunch time, last two weeks of term before finals, and I'm CLINGING to sanity. Luckily, finals are over early (Dec 10) and I have only a day short of a full month to recover before heading back to class in January.

I did a great series of creative writing workshops this fall, which have sparked a few interesting concepts and ideas that may or may not find their way here.

My grandfather passed away only an hour after my last journal post. Relations with my 'other family' are better now then they have been in years...I just wish it hadn't taken his death to make it happen.

I'll post again when I come up for air after finals, if not before.

Love to all

Me ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6909977/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6909977/ Sun, 30 Oct 2005 19:30:31 PST
I haven't seen him in 2 years. He's the father of my biological father. Blood is thicker than water in this family, and when it came to choosing between their son and his children they chose their son, and backed away from my sisters and I, leaving us to make our own way and occasionally sending cards and presents, when they remembered.

But, there is a little of that clannishness in me, because I have checked with the hospital at least 3 times tonight, and if he makes it through the night I'll be there tomorrow morning, even though he may not know it.

Tonight I spoke to my biological father. He sounded subdued, not the towering, angry, incomprehensible man I remember. Is this because he's changed, or I've changed, or simply because his father is in there dying? I don't know. He's given me an e-mail and a phone number. I'll write. I'll call. I'll see what happens.

It's been an odd night, tonight. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6855551/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6855551/ Mon, 24 Oct 2005 14:04:09 PDT
I hate school right now, but I have to stick these courses out until at least January, when I get to take my new ones. I just don't see the point in writing paper after paper and discussing book after book when all I really want to be doing is curling up in the lap of someone special and creating character after character, finally putting all of myself into my writing.

Well, I find there's not nearly so much to say as I thought. Off I go into Victorian literature...It's frightening that that's making me groan... ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6703108/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6703108/ Fri, 07 Oct 2005 10:39:35 PDT
I'm doing really well, no complaints here, just a little overworked and writers' blocked.

I'll catch you all on the flip side

Wherever that is

Love
Me ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6303690/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6303690/ Tue, 23 Aug 2005 05:14:32 PDT
Cadyna Isabella’s Brain: It doesn’t hurt that much. Going to the doctor would be pointless. He can’t tell you what you did to Hip. Plus, if we go to our Surgeon he might find something really wrong with us. Suck it up, Princess.

Cadyna Isabella’s Conscience: I really oughtn’t to call the Surgeon. That will only worry everyone, plus it will likely mean taking time off from work or school. I already have hours to make up for work, and I can’t afford to miss any school so early in the year. What if I do have to have another surgery? That would ruin everything...Better to say nothing and pop some anti inflamatories and hope it goes away. It’s not BAD pain anyway. It’s just scary persistent pain that shouldn’t exist. Where’s the Advil (tm)? And I don’t need to rest...I barely do anything as it is.

Cadyna Isabella’s older and wiser friend with the same condition: Slow down. Rest. You look and sound ready to crash. And call the doctor. Please.

Tayley-Chan: Slow down and listen to people who know you better than you do...

Cadyna Isabella’s heart: I...don’t know what to do. This is scary. Help. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6255442/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6255442/ Wed, 17 Aug 2005 19:08:40 PDT

*is maybe...a little sleepy...* ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6244457/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6244457/ Tue, 16 Aug 2005 15:05:25 PDT
Maybe it's because I found the shoes and a group of darling understanding friends that my priorities have changed. On the grand scheme of things my life is going great, but right now the clock is running away with me.

I have 14 hours of work to make up, due to a day of doctors' appointments and today waking up barely coherent and vomiting, I'm not sure how I'm going to do that between now and Sept. 7. I COULD work all my lunches between now and then, plus try to get in 1/2 hour early everyday and see where that gets me, but I also have to somehow find time during work hours to meet with my consultant at Canadian Paraplegic Association AND my social worker about the funding for my new wheelchair. Plus, lunch hours are occasionally nice things to have.

I guess my best option is to work my lunch as often as I can 'afford' to, see if I can do overtime at the Garden Party or bottle drive, keep track of the number of overtime hours I AM working through lunch and coming in early, then see where I am on the sixth of September, my last official day of work. If I can somehow work the remaining hours off in between my class schedule during the first couple of days, I should be fine...

Oh God, what have I gotten myself into? I HAD to take those days off- it couldn't be helped- and unfortunately the grant for this job came out so late that it's RIGHT on top of school...

I just want to do a good job...
I just want to stay sane while doing it...
I just want to curl up in the lap of someone stronger and wiser than I and cry until the stress goes away...
I just want my boss to be understanding...
I just want to turn back the clock....

Aside from this, though, there are some pretty neat things happening that will last MUCH longer than this summer job and 14 lost hours, so like I said, in the grand scheme of things, stuff is great. For example, I am the proud owner of a gorgeous new tattoo that hardly hurt at all and is healing beautifully...

Well, whoever reads this, thanks for doing so. I just really needed to get this out of my mind and somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about it anymore. I'm sure it will all come out in the wash in the end.
Most things do.
Except tattoo ink. That hangs around. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6178811/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/6178811/ Tue, 09 Aug 2005 13:10:05 PDT
While in the bathroom today (It's where my ideas sometimes hit) I came up with a brilliant idea. When I was in Grade 6, I had the idea of starting an online resource for teens/young adults with disabilities. Believe it or not, there aren't many. We did manage to get funding for this project through GrassRoots, but after I left that school in June of 1999, the site became inactive.

So, my revalation in the bathroom was: Why not try to get things going again? I'm older, wiser, have better computer access and more contacts in the not-for profit world. I'd try to have things on the site like articles, a newsletter, a chatspace, all geared towards youth with physical disabilities.

I'll be pitching this idea to several people at the Independent Living Resource Centre and the Canadian Paraplegic Association just to name a few. They may have interesting input and an idea as to where I might apply for funding. Funding will be important if I end up needing/wanting things like server space or a domain name.

So...what do people think? ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5939547/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5939547/ Fri, 15 Jul 2005 06:00:59 PDT
It’s really neat. I have my own little desk with my name on the ‘inbox’ on the wall, and I’m left to my own devices to do my job. I’m fully content. I have a few projects right now, one of them being to update the seniors’ housing lists. I’m finishing this so early that I’m amazing my bosses. They’re ‘complaining’ that they may have to add things to my job description! There is a list of clubs to be updated as well, along with a Provincial database, so I will be, as Mom says, “Kept Going.”

Another interesting benefit of this position is that I’m a ‘stone’s throw’ away from Tayley-Chan’s house, so that makes lunches and coffee breaks and lunches occasionally treats. Loves me Tim’s and Wendy’s, by! *giggle*

The one downside is that I have GOT to stay away from the coffee! I’m starting my second cup and it’s only half past ten yet! Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that it’s kind of stale and likely won’t be finished....

Anyway, back I go to condo researching now!

Love,
Me. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5808623/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5808623/ Fri, 01 Jul 2005 05:12:59 PDT
*watches Tayley-Chan and Tore-Whore cringe*

This summer vacation game is getting a little old now, and I'm still jobsearching. I've come CLOSE to getting several jobs, but as my Uncle Frank says, "That and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee."

Cadyna-Isabella wonders: Where is this magical $0.25 coffee and where do I get it? I pay $1.71 at University...

In other news, I'm fighting off a nasty virus that managed to get its hooks into me, but at least I was a responsibile person this time and went to the doctor when I first got sick, as opposed to when I was too ill to function.

I've also been asked to speak at a panel discussion for teens with disabilities and their parents next Wednesday (13 July) about what it's like to go to University as a person with mobility and other issues. Should be an interesting experience. Hope I don't put anyone to sleep!

And now, because you've all been waiting for it... (or not) The To Do List!

1. Speech for Teen Panel
2. Article on new wheelchair....due July 22
3. LCN Mass Story..................Soon, I promise!
4. Tayley-Chan's Kiriban.........I need my corebook back first
5. Tzu's Journal Story----------Hannibal Lecter in College I'll give it a try!

Love,
Me. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5466022/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5466022/ Thu, 26 May 2005 09:50:18 PDT
Only a few more to go until 1800!!

Now, on to real life news. I went down to Cerebral Palsy Clinic on Tuesday. After X rays on my feet and ankles my surgeon maintains he can find no work that needs to be done! YAY!
The physiotherapist was pleased with my range of motion and function, and the occupational therapist, although she doesn't know what causes the inflamed gangleon on my left wrist, says it's not bad enough to need surgery or anything.

Also (cues drumroll) I got a phone call this morning! My new wheelchair is in! I've been waiting almost six months!

Now...if I could only find a job... ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5310032/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5310032/ Mon, 09 May 2005 10:24:32 PDT
Mood: Singing along...
Listening to: My Confession- Josh Groban
Watching: "The Phantom of the Opera"- A copy that works

I was inspired by Roubidoux's confession in her latest journal, and decided it was time to share my own story.

I am, and have been for at least four years now, a victom of VAH Syndrome. (Villians are Hotter Syndrome.) This is a serious affliction. It started in the ninth grade when my parents took me to see the film "Hannibal." I watched it (I didn't realise how much better the books or Silence of the Lambs were until later) and fell head over heels for Hannibal Lecter. Fanfiction, squealing and repeated viewings of all three Lecterfics ensued.

I honestly thought that was it...until I fell for the villian in Tayley-Chan's and my Father's Pride canon, Ruthven Van Kreuz...and the Phantom, all in the same year.

It's not so bad, though...Although it can make watching certain movies difficult. Imagine sitting in a near-silent theatre with a VAH sufferer when Clarice gives Hannibal up to the authorities in Ridley's Scott's horrible artistic license ending, or when Christine Daae unmasks her Angel of Music.

This is why I buy the movies on DVD...so I can snarl at them without disrupting other patrons.

Kiriban at 1800 ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5300431/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5300431/ Sun, 08 May 2005 08:44:34 PDT
Mood: Much Better
Listening to: My Confession- Josh Groban
Watching: "The Phantom of the Opera"- A copy that works

So, some updates are in order. That 'me' day for that friend of mine ended up not lasting all that long, and when she came back we talked about all the feelings and emotions that had come up. It really helped, and thanks also to the people who commented, noted and granted other perspectives. You know who you are, and it's really appreciated.

Today is Mother's Day, but we don't make a huge deal over that in my house, especially since there's been a death in the extended family. It doesn't affect me too much, though, which, to be blunt, is kind of nice. Sometimes I really feel like I feel too much about everything. Anyone who remembers my reactions to the Schiavo case might agree.

Now I return to 'life as I know it', randoming, sleeping late, and looking for a job...

One more of life's little storms successfully weathered...

Kiriban at 1800 ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5283732/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5283732/ Fri, 06 May 2005 10:54:05 PDT
Mood: A little befuddled
Listening to: My Confession- Josh Groban
Watching: "The Phantom of the Opera"

A thought just struck me...directly in the middle of my stomach where unpleasant things tend to.

I'm not very independent. I was talking to a friend of mine earlier, and she decided she was having a bad day, and thus was going to go take a little walk in the sunshine. A remarkably healthy thing to do, really. An option I often wish I had. I told her to go on, and to get in touch when she got back. I went to go get a nice hot bath myself, thinking to kill some time, and when I got back, the message on her MSN read "Taking a 'me' day, don't wait up, folks." My initial reaction is what has me writing this journal. My initial reaction was "Hey! I thought she was coming back soon. That's not fair!"

And then, thankfully, because that way madness lies, I stopped myself. If she comes back early and we get time to talk or roleplay or do whatever, that's great. But, if she chose to take a day for herself...she's entirely in the right.

I wouldn't know how to do that, to take a day for myself, because, being a disabled young adult, I can't GO anywhere by myself. Writing that line just made me cry...but its very true. And I rely a lot on all of my friends, especially the person who took a 'me' day today. So now that she has...I'm lost.

That's really sad. That makes me feel guilty and angry at myself for needing and wanting so much from others. I mean...if I want to, shouldn't I be able to just sit and have a good day on my own? Read a book, watch some TV, watch a movie, just alone? Shouldn't I want to? The hell is WRONG with me? I'm going to drive her away if I keep relying like this...and then I don't know what I'll do...

I hope someone reads this today and can offer some perspective...'cause I need it. Desperately.

Kiriban at 1800 ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5272975/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5272975/ Thu, 05 May 2005 09:01:14 PDT
Mood: A little befuddled
Listening to: My Confession- Josh Groban
Watching: "The Phantom of the Opera"

So it's been a really cool couple of days. Tay and I did the usual weekend o'hanging, and at various points plotted, randomed, and were joined by other members of the Coterie.

Then, Monday was spent straightening out logistics and schedules for Tayley-Chan's 21st Birthday, which went off very well, if I do say so myself. At the very end of it, I purchased a copy of "Phantom of the Opera" for myself, which is now skipping like nobody's business. It may be going back to Blockbuster and being replaced with a shiny new one.

And when I logged on to DA this afternoon...BING! Subscription for a week. We'll have to see how it all goes.

Kiriban at 1800 ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5246755/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5246755/ Mon, 02 May 2005 12:26:23 PDT
Kiriban at 1800

A piece of prose, written to your specifications.

Enjoy, all! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5207550/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5207550/ Wed, 27 Apr 2005 20:15:13 PDT
So Psychology is done and over with, as is, thank the stars, French. Now I just need to find a way to rekindle my enjoyment of the language. The way it was taught at MUN ruined it for me.

Wish me luck in the job hunt, now! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5070690/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/5070690/ Tue, 12 Apr 2005 15:33:10 PDT
As of next Thursday at 5 pm, I'm finished with University until September. Four months of being off, with reading and writing of my own to do, without the guilt of having to wonder "Is there something else I ought to be doing?" I'll likely work, but work is something I enjoy doing, it gives me money, and I can leave it AT work.

Wish me luck on making it til the 21st, everyone! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4960879/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4960879/ Thu, 31 Mar 2005 12:19:11 PST
I know that as a person with a disability, my views are somewhat biased...but how can you not be biased towards life? I know so many people who have lived their entire lives in the same state as Terri. They still enjoy happiness and love from family. Terri's family...her real family...her parents and siblings...loved her. They told her husband Michael that if he wanted to leave her, divorce her, to do so. They would take care of her.

But Michael Schiavo, even though he has a mistress and three children, would not do this, preferring instead to call Terri's life 'unbearable' and to have her starved to death. Yes, I know the technical PC term is "denied nutrition and hydration" but then again...what else WOULD you call starvation?!

Secondly, I believe the only thing that made it alright in ANYONE'S eyes to murder Terri was that she did have a disability. Also, she had once been able bodied, so how could anything less be livable?

This case breaks my heart...and will likely do so for a little while. I can only hope that Terri rests well, and that one day, Michael Schiavo sees the error of what he's done. Better late than never. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4892684/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4892684/ Wed, 23 Mar 2005 16:22:13 PST
Addidas
Suzy Sheir
Hanes
Laura Secord
EA games
Y--who the hell makes a brand name with Y

2) Have you ever had a song written about you?
"There's a baby who lives in Hiliview Terrace..." It's the generic lullaby that gets passed down through my family, changed to suit each child. I'm sure I'll be half-sleepily crooning it at my littles.

3) What song makes you cry?

There are several

4)what song makes you happy?

There are still several


5) What do you like to listen to before bed?

Hunkering

a p p e a r a n c e

HEIGHT: 5'1" Yes. I am short

HAIR COLOR: Brown

SKIN COLOR: Pale. I'm a blueblood

EYE COLOR: Dark brown

PIERCINGS: ears

TATTOOS: No, thanks



r i g h t - n o w

WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: . . . .Pink flannel PJ's

WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO OR WATCHING: No song. Computer humming, and watching "Promised Land" on TV


WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?

None

WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?:
Dark, cold

HOW ARE YOU?

Fine, thanks

d o - y o u

GET MOTION SICKNESS?:

Not unless I'm reading or not in shot gun

HAVE A BAD HABIT?:

Several

GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?

Nine times out of ten


fa v o r i t e s

TV SHOW: MASH, Dog, House


MAGAZINE: UM...

SODA: Generic Brown Cola

THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Sleep, random, hang

h a v e - y o u

BROKEN THE LAW: Not really

RAN AWAY FROM HOME: No, I hid in closets

SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: No. Although I have left without people knowing exactly where I was...

EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: Nope

MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: Um...no

USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE:
Just to pay University tuition, with their knowledge

SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: *whistles innocently*

FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: Bath, yes

BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: Indeed. I was Lady Titania.

LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: *simply nods*

EVER HAD A MAJOR REGRET: Still do



l o v e

BOYFRIEND: Once upon a time.

GIRLFRIEND: Many many close girlfriends

CHILDREN: Too much

BEEN IN LOVE?: Yes

HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE:
Oh yes

BEEN HURT?: Yes

YOUR GREATEST REGRET? We don't need to go into that

GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR 3 DAYS: Definitely not

r a n d o m

DO YOU HAVE A JOB: This will be summer 3 of working

YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: Random Mixed CD from Eryn

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: Not a clue

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: Many things

WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: They were in my birthday cake ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4702760/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4702760/ Tue, 01 Mar 2005 13:47:48 PST
Once upon a time, I was very very head over heels in love with someone. I was young and naive, and perfectly happy as, though various circumstances, my world got smaller and smaller. Soon, the person I loved was the only person I cared about...even when it came to taking care of myself. I could trust him to do it, so I was told more than once.

As it turned out, I of course, could not. And should never have. It was unfair to both of us, so he let me go. It was perhaps the October of that fall that I could even begin to claim to have done the same.

If anyone asked, now, I would tell them I was single without a second thought...and I AM happier now than I was with him because I let music, creativity and girlfriends back into my world. But every now and again something happens that convinces me I haven't fully healed yet.

One of these days I will...I hope. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4612759/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4612759/ Fri, 18 Feb 2005 07:38:42 PST
I'm down in the back hall of the 2nd floor of the Queen Elizabeth II library on a relatively fast machine, so I suppose things could be much worse. I have MSN Messenger v. 6.2...except most of my friends are either asleep (lucky darlings) or on campus here somewhere.

I may write myself a story...although the piece I really want to work on is, I think, somewhere in Tzu-Hao's car...

No major plans for Break...just sleep, and plenty of it, and maybe some relaxed hanging out with some poeple....

Posting this journal was, in fact, just another way to get rid of seven or eight minutes, so congratulations if you managed to read all the way through it...although I do apologise for not being more entertaining. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4582139/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4582139/ Mon, 14 Feb 2005 16:43:17 PST Not that I intend to drink in excess, it's just nice to be allowed.

I missed a few people on my birthday: Nickowolf, Smole and his wife, and Wynter Rogue are coming to mind right now, so hopefully I'll see them soon, but otherwise I saw lots of cool people and got oodles of cool prezzies.

I'm working on an interesting piece right now, from the second person perspective, something I've never tried before. If it ever gets finished, I'll post it up for comment. By the way: If anyone remembers/knows where that notebook is, please remind me! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4311896/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4311896/ Thu, 13 Jan 2005 16:07:43 PST
Just killing time here, now, by the way, so should anyone feel like rescuing me from worlds of boredom I'll greatly appreciate it. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4187952/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4187952/ Wed, 29 Dec 2004 19:05:19 PST
Santa was very good to me, in case anyone was wondering. He brought me the Complete Works of Shakespear, for one thing, and a snazzy MP3 player, as well as the book I have needed to live for several weeks now (shameless plug alert) Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss.

The family now also possesses a PlayStation II (tm) which I suppose I must learn to play.

My sister Jessica chose to get back into touch this season, so that's an interesting new development, and I'm now getting ready for a day of shopping with Eryn before welcoming Hayley home tomorrow afternoon.

I'll update again in the new year!

Ta. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4131281/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4131281/ Wed, 22 Dec 2004 20:53:52 PST
I'm also in a LOT of pain right now. Living with a chronic condition occasionally makes things like this happen. I think I may have pulled something in my right leg, as I've been in discomfort for three days now. If it doesn't clear up by the time I go back to school, I'll have to have it looked at...

Anyways, I've royally screwed up my sleep schedule, as I fell asleep at half past eight and it's now half past one and I just woke up, so off I go to do mind-numbing things for a couple of hours until I can go back to bed. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4083414/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/4083414/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 19:14:30 PST
The most important thing now, I think, is to try and relax until the marks come back. What's done is done.

I have an idea for the ending of Serfdom, but I don't know how to work it in. That may be one of the works that just trails off...

Any other artist, whether they use prose or pixels, will understand...But still. Unfortunate.

Anyways...when I get exam marks back, I'll probably post again ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3844460/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3844460/ Mon, 15 Nov 2004 19:09:08 PST
Well, I suppose she is...and she's mad.

For those of you who do not know, I have a mild form of Cerebral Palsy. However, this does not initiate me into some special cult, it just means the motor cortex in my brain sends crazy messages to the rest of my body. But some people get so IN to having a disability...I'll never understand it

They join societies and clubs about it, and do NOTHING else. I admit, I used to ride therapeutically, have gone to some camps and conferences, but its never been my main focus.

Today, while at University, I came across a sign I'd seen before. It's a temporary one in the Education building, stating "Until further notice, this elevator is to be used by Handicap personnel only". No big deal, gets the point across. Sure, the term is not the most 'in vogue', nor is it grammatically correct, but it'll do. Today, it bore an alteration though. Someone, probably someone with a disability, had scratched out "Handicap" and scrawled in its place "Persons with Disabilities". Now which, I ask, is more pathetic?

Until those of us with disabilities stop demanding to be treated as a subculture, yet mainstreamed, to be the same, yet different, I throw up my hands!

Any thoughts? ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3832849/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3832849/ Sun, 14 Nov 2004 12:07:43 PST
My story Politics was inspired by all of the above, and although the ending may need a little work, I'll post it just as soon as I'm finished with this journal. It's yet another fanfic for Tore-Whore's Mafia VtM campaign, but with more of a real-world basis than anything else I've written!

There are a few things in the works right now, including another Mafia story that may or may not be posted here, and most definitely will probably not make it into canon, but that has to be written anyways, so those of you who tend to read ALL of my stories, whether posted or not, stay tuned!

And yes, I AM working on my own VtM campaign. Call off the goons! Please! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3785793/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3785793/ Mon, 08 Nov 2004 14:31:35 PST
School is going okay, though I have 2 midterm exams tomorrow, and then finals in a months' time. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3406138/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3406138/ Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:25:20 PDT
I handed my first History assignment in today. I don't know how well it was or wasn't done, but it was done, and on time, too! Whee! I like punctuality.

Not much happening in English, we're still discussing CHARACTER, blah. I mean, I know The Great Gatsby is full of it, but come on! University, here!

French is happening rather slowly. I now know what a pronoun is *twitch*

And finally, there's Psych. Off to do some reading for that right now. It's odd, watching a Prof on a screen, knowing that he's not really there...I mean, yes, live broadcast, but still...

Ta! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3369789/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3369789/ Wed, 15 Sep 2004 13:05:03 PDT
So, they were gonna buy books, and Ash was gonna buy school supplies and clothes on top of paying half. Ash did. Everyone was happy

Until, Ash had to buy all her books as well. And I mean ALL. AND pay for a locker. All this stuff was supposed to be given BACK to Ash by Ash's parents. And probably will be...except they haven't done it yet, and Ash's bank card, generally possessing (at least) $500.00 now has less than what is required to take a cab to Tayley-Chan's house.

This stuff, combined with a visit to my GP today (family doctor) has me flipping out. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The man is stupid. He's wonderful for stuff like ear infections, bronchitis, sore throats....but he shouldn't talk about my disability as though he knows. He "doesn't want me in a chair"?! What the HELL is that? Has he SEEN MUN lately!! Does he want me in TRACTION?! I think he wants me in traction!!

Me getting a chair does NOT equal me stopping walking. I will still walk at home, and at places that are NOT the Mall. Hell, I may even, given that I will no longer be in agony from dragging myself arouind Campus, be able to pick up a regime at the Works. Swimming or something. I don't bloody well know....

Being this stressed out is absolutely no fun. It's zapping the energy reserves I DO have, which even on the best of days, are not wonderful. Now, I don't want comments on this journal that read (*huggle* Awww...) 'cause I KNOW it sucks...I Just would like to get a couple other perspectives ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3306632/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3306632/ Tue, 07 Sep 2004 08:40:51 PDT
I guess it's BECAUSE they didn't see me flying down a hallway, IN CONTROL of the chair, as a 25 year old OT assistant man struggled to keep up with me....

Must ponder ways to showcase usefulness of chair...MUST! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3268166/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3268166/ Thu, 02 Sep 2004 05:47:15 PDT
However, this upcoming week is rather hectic, and I lack an agenda at present, so here we go with me using a DA journal to keep track:

Today Nothing major planned.

Friday Bloodwork, last day at work

Sat/Sun Weekend. Steady as she goes

Monday Orientation at MUN. Will attend events from 12-4 PM.

Tuesday Orientation at MUN. Will attend events from 1-4 PM. Appointment with OT for wheelchair training at 11:00 AM at CRC.

Wednesday Class at 10:00 AM. Class at 12:00 PM.

Thursday Class at 10:30 AM. Class at 2:00 PM.

Friday Repeat of Wednesday. Appointment at 1:00 PM at CRC with Janine ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3244692/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3244692/ Mon, 30 Aug 2004 05:04:37 PDT
Oh well. Soon this chapter of my life will close, and another, containing University and, I hope, many new friends as well as the ones I have now, will open. It's a little intimidating, but I'm going to give it my best shot.

Also, before I put the event behind me, a great big thank you goes out to everyone who helped me get through that rough patch on Saturday night. You all know who you are, and I'm going to start taking better care of myself...Besides, if I don't do that, who will take care of all of you? ~_^ *munches on her breakfast and feels superior, lol*

I haven't had any good ideas for writing lately, so feel free to poke me with a stick. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3202512/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3202512/ Tue, 24 Aug 2004 11:12:03 PDT
Yes, I am being paid to DO things, but I have done so very much since I have been here, and my two 'days off' have been an action packed wedding and half a day of appointments. (The other half, spent with Eryn, rocked) I'll be taking work home this evening, not because I have to, but because I am a concientious person who wants to ensure deadlines get met ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3189793/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3189793/ Sun, 22 Aug 2004 18:58:02 PDT
Expect more, longer deviations soon...

*putters off giddily* ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3144865/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3144865/ Tue, 17 Aug 2004 05:28:15 PDT
The wedding went fine, and now Mom and Dad are enjoying sunny Cuba...All I can say is there had better be prezzies...epic prezzies. Yes, I realise I sound spoiled, but they ran off and left me with a Grandmother and no computer. So yeah. Prezzies.

I'm going to try to get some writing done today, as I attempt to reformat Dr. Norah Browne's booklet on hearing loss....*twitches in a corner for hours. Then dies* ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3088649/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3088649/ Tue, 10 Aug 2004 06:08:23 PDT
This wedding has pervaded every aspect of my daily life...and therefore, the lives of my good friends, for weeks now, but an end is in sight.

Unfortunately, I didn't reach my self-imposed goal of finishing Serfdom by today, and since my only computer access for the next 11 days at least is going to be through work or through the kindness of friends, Lucan and his ladies will have to wait awhlie.

However, just in case anyone is craving some "Cadyna-Isabella Deviation" fix, I'm posting a little something I did for Tore-Whore's La Cosa Nostra canon...or at least the online version...

Yay for mobtastic fanfics.

*Kiriban at 1000. Mail to doctorkestra@hotmail.com, post, or note me with a link* ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3055151/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3055151/ Fri, 06 Aug 2004 04:47:07 PDT interesting news yesterday. So I have made a decision. It's time to sit down, have a good look at myself, and realise: I am a worthwhile person. I deserve companionship. Said companionship does not have to be romantic in nature. This is why I love the girlies. *hugs all of them*

However....

I am a very pretty girl, and its time I didn't hide that under layers of polyester and self-deprication.

Stay tuned... ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3032688/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/3032688/ Tue, 03 Aug 2004 07:04:00 PDT
Lo and behold, this year I get hired by an organization that wants me to USE said skills! I spend yesterday afternoon wandering around my office in a panic, not sure how I'm going to be able to do it, but this morning, I gave myself a smack, buckled down...and as a result, am half finished my updates and am very surprised and pleased with myself...and thanking GOD for Microsoft Front Page, which has saved my soul...

For those of you who are patiently waiting for the next installment of Serfdom...when my computer returns from the abyss, I'll see what I can do.

Kiriban at 1000 hits. Post it, note me, or send an e-mail to either doctorkestra@hotmail.com, or ashley_m_hanlon@hotmail.com. If 1000 doesn't go, we'll try for 1010. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2965506/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2965506/ Sun, 25 Jul 2004 15:58:43 PDT
Serfdom! I've set a goal for myself. I want to have it finished by the time my parents leave for Cuba. Technically, this is August 12th, but considering that they're getting married in a small civil ceremony on the 11th, my deadline is realisitically August 10th.

My Kiriban is still up for grabs, 1000 or 1010 whichever gets claimed first, and whoever might be interested in recieving a gift from the nib of my humble pen...Screencap's a must. Send it to either doctorkestra@hotmail.com or ashley_m_hanlon@hotmail.com, or send me a link and post it on your own page...

*puts her earphones on and goes to play with Lucan and his Ladies* ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2958867/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2958867/ Sat, 24 Jul 2004 18:01:54 PDT ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2916904/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2916904/ Mon, 19 Jul 2004 06:42:10 PDT
I need to pick up some liquigels to combat the constant headaches this place is capable of inducing...*so...many...flashing...light s* but otherwise, things are fine. I get paid. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2886575/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2886575/ Thu, 15 Jul 2004 06:31:51 PDT
I'm at work right now, trying to get accustomed enough to this computer to do a bit of data entry. As I'm sure many of you know, it's the most deadening occupation of one's time in the world. I'm a little out of sorts this morning, a little tired, and the airconditioning is making things actually cold.

Things are pretty quiet here in the Canadian Hard of Hearing Association office...(no pun intended.) Although I've made a few calls booking transportation and such for myself for the weekend, and changing transportation for my appointment this afternoon, the phone has actually only rang once. The other two ladies currently in the office are closeted in a meeting. The vacationing executive director dropped in briefly with his ickle...Gods, what a talkative child...

I suppose I'll head back to the wonderful world of inputting addresses on an Excel sheet....*glances at clock* Wow. Why is it only 11:00? There's at least another hour before I can even consider justifying lunch... At least I'm getting paid for this, ne? ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2854874/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2854874/ Sun, 11 Jul 2004 09:24:58 PDT
Screencap's a must, e-mail it to ashley_m_hanlon@hotmail.com. If 1000 isn't claimed, then we'll go for 1010. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2809145/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2809145/ Mon, 05 Jul 2004 12:31:23 PDT
One of my 'goals' this week is better wheelchair skills, and after learning to go up and down a small ramp today, and trying to learn how to pop sufficient wheelies to go up and down curbs, my back is aching. My 'range of motion' also got checked today, and out of a possible 180 degrees I have 145 on my right side and 120 on my left. Not bad...and Shawna's not known for her gentle ways of checking, the darling.

Sometimes, therapy gives me new ideas for stories and such, considering that, with its myriad of devices, there is NOTHING so close to a torture chamber as the Physio Gym, so we'll see. Right now, a hot bath is VERY much in order. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2781893/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2781893/ Thu, 01 Jul 2004 17:27:20 PDT
Reading: The Sicillian by Mario Puzo

Listening to: Nickleback, Frank Sinatra, and Les Mis

Working on: Eryn's cookie
Descriptive Piece
VTM setup

Waiting on: Job interview tomorrow
Public Exam marks
Ideas for Serfdom ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2742459/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2742459/ Sat, 26 Jun 2004 19:03:20 PDT
For those of you who have been enjoying the saga of Ms. Pasqua somewhat inadequately entitled "Naples", I'm using this journal to tell you it's over unless someone wants to give me an idea for another scene that needs to be done.

Serfdom seems to have stalled where it is as well, so I beg your patience and indulgence. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2728289/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2728289/ Wed, 23 Jun 2004 21:25:28 PDT
All I need is at least a pass in Math, and I need a thirty. Please GOD somewhere in that exam, let me have gotten a thirty....I REALLY just want to get through the myriad mess that highschool has degenerated into. I need to get OUT of there...!

I need those marks back for my own sanity! This ISN'T sane! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2673054/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2673054/ Wed, 16 Jun 2004 08:52:14 PDT
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
-Ashley
-Ash
-Ash-mo-nash-nash

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Um...this is hard...
I write...
I slip into character VERY easily
I've become much more outgoing

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
-I don't get along with my mother enough.
-I'm BAD at taking compliments.
- My hair. It MAY be soft, but it's ridiculous!

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
My Mother
My Sister
Myself

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU
Having to repeat myself
Patronizing people
Rap music

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
MUN next semester
People I don't know
New things

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
Random
Random
Random

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
Evanescence
Frank Sinatra
Chris DeB...

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITES SONGS @ THE MOMENT:
Going Under
Mack the Knife
The Masochism tango
THREE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
-Hayley
-Eryn
-Tzu

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
Ballroom dance...It AINT happenin'
Draw....Ditto
Have my cane out of sight for longer than 24 hours..

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
Roleplay
Writing
Listening to Music and occasionally singing along

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE:
-An apartment of my own
-Cat!
-Nicer clothes

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
-Novelist
Teacher (Yes, I KNOW. I'll drink every day!)
Political advisor of some sort
THREE COLORS YOU LIKE:
Blue
Red
Camel
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
-Paris
London
Florence

THREE THINGS YOU JUST DID TODAY:
English exam
Job interview
Discovered that estrogen is evil ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2658080/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2658080/ Mon, 14 Jun 2004 11:26:58 PDT
Serfdom is the product of that determination. Unlike my other pieces this one is getting posted scene by scene, or chapter by chapter, if you will. Chapter one deals with the village, two with the castle and those two are posted. Three is on my desktop as I'm writing this.

Comments are welcome. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2605855/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2605855/ Mon, 07 Jun 2004 15:29:27 PDT
I love to write, that won't surprise anyone, but what I'm really good at is taking the world that already exists, adding a character or six, and giving things a spin. In other words: Fanfiction. Now, I know that, in certain arenas, fanfiction will make one a HELL of a lot of money....but I itch to do something more. People tell me I could make a living by my pen...and maybe I can....Lord know I can't see myself doing anything else...but something major needs to happen. I need to unlock a totally new level of creativity or...something.

Help...!

It's gotten to the point where I sit down and I go "Okay...WHY am I going to University next year? WHAT am I really going to do? Writing will make me happy...but how do I make it my life?" ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2597208/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2597208/ Sun, 06 Jun 2004 13:59:24 PDT
I only have two more days of classes in High School. That's...a little boggling. ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2565598/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2565598/ Wed, 02 Jun 2004 11:01:41 PDT
No one in particular, no one I know overly well, but I am completely...! ARGH!! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2550603/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2550603/ Mon, 31 May 2004 13:34:48 PDT
To Do List: School

Four final exams

And that's ALL! ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2541982/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2541982/ Sun, 30 May 2004 10:42:06 PDT
I wouldn't mind if I didn't have that Ethics presentation tomorrow and a kindness log to make up. Ugh....

I'm going to crawl into bed for a while I think....Oh wait. I can't. I have to make up fifteen acts of kindness and make up reasons why Euthanasia is bad....(whimpers) ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2514161/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2514161/ Wed, 26 May 2004 14:39:31 PDT ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2512701/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2512701/ Wed, 26 May 2004 11:04:40 PDT I'm just really, really really tired...and I've been that way for a bit now. Anyone got any de-stressing/sleeping tips, they would be excessively appreciated.



Ethics Project.........................Due Monday
Four Final Exams....................Getting ever closer
Naples.................................. .Poke please
Gangrel Uprising.....................This is my current notebook project ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2447442/ http://Cadyna-Isabella.deviantart.com/journal/2447442/ Mon, 17 May 2004 11:09:25 PDT
The To Do Lists

For School
History project
Ethics Project
Finals

Not For School

Naples...................poke about this please
Gangrel Uprising.....One of these days, I swear
Sorella..................Character concept for FP. She could be awesome. Poke about this please
VTM Campaign......Poking please
Resume
Job
Sanity ]]> ~Cadyna-Isabella