http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:CalenthrellII&section=today deviantART RSS for by:CalenthrellII en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:09:05 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/28052011/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/28052011/ Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:55:16 PDT
School has been (somewhat) raping my soul... I feel like I need to do well there, but so many issues at home have been impairing my ability to actually work on them (things like people in the house INTENTIONALLY shutting power off when I'm trying to work on projects, all right... wtf) While I know that I need to get through just another year and a half, it feels like this first year probably should have been the easiest. I feel like I'm moving into the brunt of everything, and worried that my workload will exceed the time limits I have for myself.

Keep in mind that in order to keep going to art school, one must be able to afford it. If I can't pay for supplies, I can't create the projects to hand in to get the good grades to continue getting paid to take courses... because I could never afford the classes on my own, so I look to grants, scholarships and loans.

And with the economy, folks... -_-;

But yes. I wish there were an easy fix, a way for me to not live where I do. The only time I'm able to get things done is during the mid-late afternoon and evening. Unfortunately, that's the majority of my class schedule, so I'm forced to try and do the work during the day, which doesn't fly with... other members of the family that reside in this household.

It's a rock.
It's a hardplace.
It's a me, Mario.

I'll persevere, but it's going to take some time to figure out how to navigate the gauntlet whilst blindfolded.

In other news, I'm extraordinarily thankful (thankful to my utmost, even!) that I have the support and care of my very close friends, of which there aren't many I have many acquaintances, true - but those persons I call friend are countable really, on my hands. And they've been what's held the quivering mass of psyche that is trying to survive together. So thank you for that, guys. I really do appreciate it...

Even though the majority of you won't even see this message... somehow that makes it better to me.

So yes, you're getting pictures here and there, but not a whole lot of art from me. I know, I'm sorry for that.

Things will pick up again in time.
Oh and hey, my birthday is coming up soon. Anyone who would be down with getting me a subscription? I'd just think you were really cool
I haven't had a subscription for awhile, now. I miss it, kinda, hehe.

Anyway

Just wanted to update anyone that cared to know...
I'm alive
doing mostly well
totally twitterpated
also frustrated in a different manner
and wanting to just be over and done with school... and move on to brighter things,

To work
not toil.

Isn't that everyone's goal?

Nat Fisher
2009

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/27174284/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/27174284/ Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:36:10 PDT
That is all.

If I end up failing stuff, I'll retake it, for sure.

And end up another quarter in -_-;;;

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/26224729/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/26224729/ Tue, 28 Jul 2009 02:18:50 PDT It's been taking a bit of a toll on my psyche. We'll cross our fingers and hope this quarter goes much better than it has started out -_-;

Expect an update with the Alton pictures - they finally got onto my computer. When I have time, I'll tweak the ones I need to and get as much as I can up here (that I find artistic)... so, yeah. Granted, it's all shot with the power shot, so I certainly didn't get some shots that I probably could have... but hey, it was just about three days. I had fun

Other Photo opportunities arising in the next few weeks:

1. Renaissance Faire

2. (maybe) Forest Preserve? Random buildings? When I go out to see (Which I need to set up

3. Galesburg, IL (to visit Amy, Steve, Cat Stevens, and Charlie! YAY!)

4. Whenthehellever I get out back to Blo-No. (I smell a trip coming up so that I can has girl time.

anyway... just needed to update. That's about it for now. It's incredibly late.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25967873/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25967873/ Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:05:44 PDT
An update.

1) Current Projects
+ staining windows
+ constructing a journal
+ completing a requested portrait

2) Future projects
+ frog with wings (redux)
+ custom journal (3rd)
+ Photoshoot for Courtney's district

3) Stuff I need to get done:
+ Upload/tweak Alton photos
+ construct shelving unit for bedroom
+ clean up room
+ buy air freshener (lavender/vanilla) refill
+ get checking account opened for paying back Tennessee Steve
+ stop hating math

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25909005/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25909005/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:59:24 PDT
Pictures to follow (Sadly only with the Canon)

Crossing my fingers that all goes well tomorrow on the first day of classes. We will see how I hold up with two part time jobs and going to school.

I am so tired.

I need to take out my contacts and drift off to something resembling sleep.

Nat

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25642350/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25642350/ Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:29:32 PDT
I'm tired.

I want to go to sleep, but I keep seeing this journal pop up. My finals have been over. I'm about a third of the way through my summer break.
It's been long and slightly retarded.

Money is difficult to come by.
People seem to not understand this fact unless they, themselves have to live on the feeding, not the fed end - understand?

It's kind of annoying that way.


In roughly 2 weeksish (less than by a bit), hopefully and I will be taking leave on a bit of an extended phototrip.

We plan to do a bit of ghost hunting a few hours south of here.

Any ideas on planning with a really tight budget? I already plan on packing a large cooler with meals for the 2 nights we'd spend out there... Let me know!
^_^

<3
Nat

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25272853/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25272853/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 12:33:02 PDT
By one week from now I will be finished with this quarter and everything concerning it... which I think I'm happy with - I'll miss taking photos with the D70 I think it'll be a little less easy to get a hold of now that I won't be in photo-anything.

That doesn't mean I won't take shots - I will - they'll just probably generally be with my Trusty Point-and-shoot...

...which eventually I need to replace. After almost 4.5 years with it, the camera's getting fairly beat up and it's pretty much outdated. I can get a similar camera now that does the same things for less than I did back then - and one's that is likely smaller than the one I have now (And I remember when I thought the one I had was tiny, ha!)

So many things need to be replaced in my life right now - for example... my car, which is basically dead now. It's in the shop. More on that later, I suppose. We haven't yet been successful in finding a *new* (used) car to purchase - thus I've been driving the deathtrap, and this morning it conked out right outside of my house on the main road. Had to call AAA and get it towed to Steve's... *rolls eyes*

I need to contact Steak n Shake right now, because I started up finals, and forgot to give them my availability. It's as easy as picking up the phone, but as I missed the deadline for scheduling, will they hold it against me? Only one way to find out, I suppose.

It's been a really long quarter.
I just want snuggles, fires, tea, and, ha - kittens and puppies. Not at the same time.

*sigh*

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25216427/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25216427/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 12:32:07 PDT
Ready for finals to *finally* be done -_-;
Learned jack in my photoshop class.

Still love my digiphoto teacher. He was surprised to find that I learned more in his class than Image Manipulation about PS.

Ha.

"--you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself//With these revisions and gaps in history//So let me help you remember//I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear//I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave--"

ugggghhhh

I screwed up my thumb playing softball last night.
I then proceeded to play Wii games to make myself less hurt.
I figured out how to bowl correctly
I also got to use the (fully loaded!!!) automatic Shotgun in Overkill *cheers* It kind of makes everything way too easy, but whatev.

ANYWAY

Wish me luck.

Nat

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25065083/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25065083/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 07:34:30 PDT
So at my "second" day of work I kind of wanted to beat the crap out of these high school boys. Why? Well, simply because staying for three hours to play bags when all you ordered was a coke, diet coke, 2 waters and fries AND THEN STARTED GANKING SODA... yeah I'm going to want to beat something... maybe, kinda sorta, I think.

I don't know, it really upset me that they were just having the other guy drink the soda. Like, okay, I'm sorry... just because it's bottomless doesn't mean you can give it to your friends who didn't order anything. Oh, excuse me. He ordered a 75 cent side of fries.

I don't get it.

And then they had the nads to be snotty with me after I was like "Yeah I'm going to be putting that on your tab."
You know, when I was in a high school... I never "cheated" and tried to get around shit at a restaurant. If i stayed somewhere longer than a duration of a meal, I paid 2 dollars for every additional hour I stayed there per PERSON -_-; I still do this, but I generally no longer camp at restaurants. I certainly never went to bars. I mean, I work at a damned bar. 16-17 year olds should be leashed - or at least have a curfew that's actually enforced. Which means that Sundays, they can't go to bars. Then my life wouldn't be as depressing.

Like, okay, I knew I was getting a dollar from the table of 6 that only ordered soda and fries and came in to play bags at 2 tables for 3 hours.
Something's wrong there.

that's number 1. number 2:

It has come to my attention that I have learned absolutely nothing while in my Photoshop class.
My Digital Photography class and my significant other have taught me more in this quarter than the teacher has. This depresses me. How much does this class cost me, around a grand or something? So my money is being pissed away and there is nothing I can do about it? Not to mention the fact that I should be learning the ins and outs of the program in the INITIAL CLASS THAT IS BASED ON SAID PROGRAM... I'm going to get to Advanced Photoshop and still not know anything. Great. I love school.

number 3:
Buying a car.
Why is it that when I need something like a car... or an apartment... or really anything that I'm likely to be making payments on (so it's something expensivish) that apparently it doesn't become important that this is something that I need so instead of 'lets look at what's best for the customer,' it quickly moves to 'everyone wants to make a sale and will quite clearly lie through their teeth to do so'? Wish me luck. And puppies, you can never have too many of those.

number 4:
DAMNIT, DADDY!

number 5:
My wrists ache like hell... so even if I had the opportunity to punch ANYTHING... I probably physically couldn't.

Yeah I needed this rant -_-;
Amongst other things... which could, in all actuality, probably amount to a number 6, but I've wasted enough time.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25014312/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/25014312/ Fri, 29 May 2009 12:15:56 PDT
It seems to be one of those where no one is around for me to speak with, and I have all sorts of questions and randonimity. Yeah I made a word.

Apparently my movement was never turned in *raises eyebrow* so I'll have to re-turn it in -_-;;

I'm pretty much tired of taking pictures for photography class - but only because I don't like taking 50 shots of one particular type of thing (i.e. "night photography" or "macro") - I simply don't like doing that because then everything gets jumbled up - and I don't have the freaking Adobe Bridge that allows you to view the RAW images as actual thumbnails.

I swear that I'm growing grey right now.
Granted, I totally wouldn't have a problem with that.
If I go though, I go all the way grey, not this salt & pepper crap.


Anyway...
Schedule for this weekend:
1. Friday night -
Some random bar in St. Charles has this band I am going to see. Albeit I'm not really going to see the band. I'm going to see Courtney because I miss the hell out of her. Stef too, I suppose, lol. Not excited about seeing Matt if he's going to be there -_-;
I have been trying to find some others to accompany me, but thus far have been unsuccessful. Jamie, you in? I will text thee

2. Saturday night - "second" interview with Steak n Shake... then on to Homework and no plans yet.

3. Sunday night - Homework and no plans yet.

I need a chill night. Sit back, watch some stuff. I'm a wee bit stressed with the end of school coming up... *sigh*

Blarg.

Anyway, that's the update!
Oh... and I'm looking for a new car, too. I'll try to remember to tell you all when I finally end up trading my deathmobile in. >_<

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24974710/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24974710/ Wed, 27 May 2009 07:06:59 PDT
I really don't care for this class. I also totally thought I'd love this class.

Funny, that.


ANYWAY
There isn't much to talk about right now. Kinda sorta QUICKLY sloughing by. I'm not even sure I spelled that correctly, but whatever.

Quickly sloughing is more difficult than you think.

Glad it's Wednesday. Looking forward to finishing up some of my projects this week.
Not looking forward to Friday's class... as I apparently lost my flash drive? Not cool. Very not cool.

Welp

I just didn't want the extraordinarily long meme there

That's about it.



]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24957714/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24957714/ Tue, 26 May 2009 09:16:32 PDT [x] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[ ] You get drunk a lot.
[x] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[x] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[x] You like to read your daily horoscope. [Usually the day after, haha]
[ ] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[x] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[x] You are spiritual.
[ ] The horse is your favorite animal.
[x] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 7

Elf:
[ ] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips.
[x] You are very intelligent.
[x] Your five senses are extremely keen. (my eyes aren't *great* but everything else is off the charts)
[ ] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height. [Still is, even if I kept all the weight I gained last year. Odd.]
[ ] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible. [HA!]
[ ] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[ ] You look very young for your age.
[ ] You rarely get sick.
[x] You are a very hard worker.
[x] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future.
Total: 4

Fairy:
[ ] You are happy a lot of the time.
[ ] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[ ] You are very shy.
[x] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[x] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[ ] You are young and short.
[ ] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[x] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[x] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[ ] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: 4

Gnome/Dwarf:
[x] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[ ] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[ ] You are short for your age.
[x] You are an isolationist.
[ ] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[ ] You are extremely fascinated with jewelry.
[ ] You look older than your age.
[x] You love the woods and the mountains.
[ ] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[ ] You have a short temper.
Total: 3

Harpy/Siren:
[ ] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[x] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you. (takes a lot, though.)
[ ] You often take things that aren't yours.
[ ] You are easily angered.
[x] Death fascinates you.
[x] You are female, or a feminine-looking man.
[ ] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[x] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[ ] You love to trick others.
[ ] You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 4

Mermaid:
[ ] You love the beach more so because of the water than the shore itself.
[ ] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you. [Ratfish!!]
[ ] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[ ] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea.
[x] You are good at swimming.
[x] You like to collect shells.
[x] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[ ] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[x] You are extremely against ocean pollution, and someday, perhaps you will work to stop that.
[ ] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 4

Vampire:
[x] You're a night person.
[x] You have a fascination with blood.
[ ] You are extremely pale.
[ ] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[x] You are not religious at all. (spiritual yes. Religious, not so much)
[x] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often. [I'm somewhat light sensitive :/ Migraines ]
[ ] You hate food with lots of garlic in it. [I love garlic!]
[x] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips. [if romantic = sensual, yes]
[ ] You don't like sharp objects near you.
Total: 6

Werewolf:
[ ] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
[x] You have a lot of body hair. [ -_-;; ]
[ ] The ability to shape shift is the best superpower to you.
[ ] You prefer gold over silver items.
[x] You lack self control. [sometimes my passion does get the best of me >_<
[x] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[x] You have a deep respect for wolves and... ]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24887457/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24887457/ Fri, 22 May 2009 09:04:06 PDT
I'm doing all right, folks. Just to let you know. Been a snidge busy though... if I'm not talkative or commenty, that's probably why.

This quarter is draaaaagging so slowly for me -_-; I can't believe I've almost been here a year. (and still made no really great friends from classes, lol...)
I don't suppose that was my intent, though.

Stay tuned for some more Digital Photography.

Current projects:
Painted Glass Windows
Journal 1
Journal 2
Tarot Card Deck
**Lyrical Interpretation project
**Philosophy and Ethics project
**Night Photography project

** = for school

Uhhhhgggghhh
At least it isn't still hot outside. I loathe hot, and heart cool.

Sooooo...

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24650546/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24650546/ Fri, 08 May 2009 12:00:09 PDT
1/4 finished with portraiture project for Digital Photography. Thanks to those who've helped thus far. ^_^

I have found that I enjoy learning from my friends.

Still need to work on motion photography -_-; I hate that particular project. It will be over soon.

Hope it isn't hurting my grade yet -_-;

Ummmm

Still have to pee.

Looking forward to this weekend...

Friday:
Possibly Jamie ^^
Some *movement* photos!

Saturday:
Moar photos this time w/ Lizly
Dinner and Zombie Slaying w/ Jon

Sunday:
I don't know if we're doing anything for Lynn for Mother's Day...
Moar photos, this time w/ Erin (hopefully )


That's about it hehehe
Waiting to hear back from Steak n Shake

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24579585/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24579585/ Mon, 04 May 2009 07:43:29 PDT
It's May. That means I have to pay the storage unit again. This is unfortunate, as I don't have the funds

Even if I put together everywhere I've gone (and spent money at) this past month, I still come up under 20 (and that's where people have paid for me... thanks to you if you're reading this ) So it's not like cutting any expenses out would actually assist me...

So I'm trying to figure out if asking my father to lend me the money is going to go over poorly.

Looks like a position at Steak n Shake might be in my cards, which I wouldn't mind at all. Then I could actually pay people back... get my everything all figured out. It feels awfully surreal moping around this way. I think the worst part about it is the fact that I keep checking back in with people and places I've left applications with...

...Most of the time I get "We can't work with your schedule" - the only day I can't work is on Wednesday, and come on, full timers work 6 days a week -_-; It's just a cop-out answer. I swear I just want to leave the schedule part blank, get hired, and then tell them Hey, I can work these times. You can work with me to deal with it, or I can find work elsewhere. I really am a good employee, lol.

*rollseyes* YAY ECONOMY!

1. Mmmmm... monetary downfall
2. Omnomoinkoink swineflu
3. apparently Jurassic Park.

Step 4? Umbrella corp, kthxBRAINS!
Yes.
Zombies are so happening. I'm so ready for this.

I need to stop falling asleep while the teacher is talking, it totally makes me really confused. I go from whining about a job to... zombies.

To be fair, it was my answer to the question he asked... which was "Natalie, what do you dream about?"

Me: "...Me?"
him: "Yes."
Me: ". . .zombies :/"
*class laughs*

-_-;;;

Ah well. Keep meh in ur thoughts & prayers XD



]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24527334/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24527334/ Fri, 01 May 2009 08:41:14 PDT
Friday again. I think this is a growing thing with me, you know, to be here in class and putting out a journal.

I think all I want to tell the world is that:

True to form, I am so Black or White.

I really effing loathe those persons that I dislike...
But the people I care about? You guys are the best. Seriously. I don't know how I would get by without your input, your jokes, your heartfelt actions and words... And hey, let's face it - the times where you keep me in line when you tell me I'm full of shit. ^_^

So to those who I can't stand... just remember I'm a bit of a natural witch. Don't be surprised if your luck turns when you cross me ^^

And to those that have taken me under their wing... thank you for the support. You guys rock my world.

Here are some of those who are the latter (that you should check out because I said so because hey, I tend to be an ass sometimes)





These are some real-life friends... whom I appreciate more than words can express

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24410646/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24410646/ Fri, 24 Apr 2009 13:04:18 PDT
It's friday. Stuart is still hilarious. We had our first "field trip" and got to go mill around a random area. It was fun.

At any rate... expect moar photos.

Especially this upcoming week - our assignment for the week is going to be street photography.

Come on, that's awesome!
(you know it!)

Remember to check my flickr from time to time, as I post things there that I don't here... mostly because what *I* like and what I'm turning in don't +always+ overlap

I need to start getting actual sleep lol.
I keep doing this whole "sup I slept for like 3.25 hours, I win at life..ZZZZzzzzz"

Narcolepsy ftw.




]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24287651/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24287651/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 08:49:40 PDT
YANYWAY

I'm in digital photography class...
Apparently we started a group on Flickr, called the Lollipop Chain Gang.
I was not in class for the choosing of the name, however I fully support it.

That means I have a Flickr account.
Nothing's uploaded yet, but in the following weeks you will be
able to check me out there: natrosefisher [link]

One love.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24224714/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24224714/ Mon, 13 Apr 2009 17:02:04 PDT
I would like to now talk about this site as a community.

I have been with DA for awhile... anything that's over 5 years is awhile in my opinion. I'm not saying that gives me the right to state these things, but I'm merely explaining the boundary of my experience.

I've noticed that in my beginning here, I found lots of people who were excited to welcome new members along. Who wanted to make friends, who had good discussions.
That can be found here still, it's just much harder to find now.

This could be due to the fact that the DA population has grown in five years - a lot.

I feel though, that people have begun to forget what DA was originally about. This was a place where you could come - meet others, get feedback on what you produce, and see others' works in the process.

I suppose that now one CAN still do that...

However -

I'm sick of lots of things -
Like people uploading trash and not putting it in scraps. If I do something that is a sketch that I want people to see (because I need assistance with it) I will upload it, and soon move it over to scraps. There are a reason we have tools... and folders... and this site is maintained well for those things - the issue is not with the quality of the site, but rather the folks that screw things up.

For example:
DA is a site that is based around the idea of community... that's why I joined, that's why I'm still here.

In my 5 years of experience, I've seen many more people come here to use DA as another Livejournal, Myspace, or Facebook... As I've named these sites, it's confusing that people could really simply use this site in the same way. It makes it much harder to filter out fodder.

I guess my complaining is really for naught, but I miss the "good ol' days" that really were the highpoints of being here. Sometimes now, I just feel that it's strange and disconnected.

What I think I'm trying to say is that even though DA tries to do things that make it better - people still make stuff crappy. Even in an environment where people should piss me off less... sometimes, they do so more often.

This journal is in response to a bunch of idiots who responded to a situation in a very rude and careless way. I ranted on that page, and even MORE idiots responded to me.

So I am telling exactly how I feel in this rant, as opposed to continuing more drama in that thread.

Whatever.
To those that read... Thanks for being not idiots. Thank you for making DA a place for me to still come back to, to have a special place of my own here on the lonely internets. You guys rock.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24119425/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24119425/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 20:05:47 PDT
I'm so excited to not be smoking right now, I feel as healthy as I did 6 years ago, right before I started smoking habitually. I've gotten it down so that if I smoke, it's only when I drink, and I'm not having trouble with it. The first couple weeks were a little rough...

But now I can exercise again!!! (yay!) It sounds weird, but I realize now why I didn't want to exercise before... and I am slowly beginning to understand what I've been missing out on

Amongst that, while I run, my imagination seems to go wild - in the past couple days, I've felt more inspired than I have in likely this entire 2009 thus far.

Another quarter at ILIS has begun - this one dealing with:

Photoshop
Digital Photography
Philosophy and Ethics

I also have a drawing-friendly schedule - B.J. told us that if we wanted to, we could sit in on her Life Drawing class which runs 6:30pm to 9:20pm... I was like "Wut, free models? NOICE!!"

So basically
Everything seems to be changing for the better.

Except the getting a job thing. That's still stagnant. I'm crossing my fingers though, and waiting to get in touch with the places I sent resumes and applications to last week.

Maybe you can all think of me or say a little prayer or something. It's rough times out there :/ especially for something as costly as art school.

Peace.
Nara

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24075504/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/24075504/ Sun, 05 Apr 2009 12:40:18 PDT
I'm not claiming to be a great artist. I'm not saying that I should be the one picking the Daily Devs.

I will say this:

That stuff like this following DD (from Sunday, April 5th)

[link]

is really not worthy of being a DD. I mean, honestly. The concept isn't well executed, and the model looks confused. The picture isn't interesting at all, the only thing I think I like about it that stands out is the color... which can easily be altered.
...What they say about it is total crap.


I just felt the need to get that off my chest - I don't understand why they pick what they pick (haha like the insane amount of anthropomorphic work that has been getting in, even when it's not great) ... it's just stupid. I feel like it sets me back. Whatever.

Generally I don't complain about things, it's just, I've seen it so many times, and I don't understand... There are far better folk that should get DDs. so...




Those are my Daily Artists.
We should start a revolution.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23990804/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23990804/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:43:39 PDT

And yeah.

Not cool.

Need job badly.

Ha. Commissions, anyone?

/cry

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23969261/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23969261/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:05:29 PDT

Thankies!!












]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23898005/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23898005/ Thu, 26 Mar 2009 11:16:01 PDT You want us to get along
Please do not expect me to
Wrap it up and keep it there
The observation I am doing could
Easily be understood
As cynical demeanour
But one of us misread...
And what do you know
It happened again

A friend is not a means
You utilize to get somewhere
Somehow I didn't notice
friendship is an end
What do you know
It happened again

How come no-one told me
All throughout history
The loneliest people
Were the ones who always spoke the truth
The ones who made a difference
By withstanding the indifference
I guess it's up to me now
Should I take that risk or just smile?

What do you know
It happened again
What do you know>>>

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23867199/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23867199/ Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:09:40 PDT
I'm smart, I'm kinda cute, and gosh darnit, people like me.

So why am I still procrastinating with my finals? Guh. I hate finals.

Hey, at least I'm not in math

<3 Nara

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23762543/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23762543/ Wed, 18 Mar 2009 12:03:38 PDT
Earlier today there was a DD for some stock, it was good stock. However, upon perusing some more of the gallery, I realized I was mildly angry. Why, you ask?

Well, recently I've been in Design Drawing (life drawing for those of you who haven't heard me talk about it yet)... This means I have this need/pull to draw people and lighting, making me better at it, honing my skills, etc etc.

I haven't even gotten to the point of ganking a pose from a reference picture yet: I'm still trying to "master" *haha, yeah right * the human body - or at least get comfortable enough so that I don't ALWAYS need a reference.

Anyway, so this DD stock artist - I was like "Wow that's totally something I'd like to use to draw maybe, myself even (one of the first times I've gone and looked for stock, but instead it just falls in my lap, yeh?) And what happens?

She has these rules about how with that specific set of photos, she doesn't want people drawing them, she wants them used as pictures for "photomanipulation only"

Now, I guess what bothers me about this is why? People will generally spend far longer on a drawing rather than on a photomanipulation if they are serious about it. I guess maybe that would be why - but, it just irks me that they strictly only want people to manip it.

Maybe I'm weird. -_-;

Whatever.
Bah.

*goes to look for REAL stock, not this fake "only for manips" crap*

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23484881/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23484881/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:13:14 PST
I have set ablaze and am returning to entertain myself with thoughts of the old self and how it may be integrated towards the new self.

We're excited, but we expect very little change quickly in this matter.

That is all.

~Nara Rae'Al Vyn

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23361573/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23361573/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 11:52:54 PST
Anyway so I'm all like "wtf mate"
I have this issue. It's called not getting a job. Like I keep dropping applications and resumes all over the damned place.

Sadly it seems that nowhere wants part-time Natalie. Truth be told, Full-time Natalie is beastly enough to deal with, but I digress. Part-time Natalie is hardworking and amiable, it should be easier than this.

Regardless...

FEEENIXXX.

Phoenix. Not Arizona.
See, I have this back tattoo - the first one I ever got (and still the best looking thus far)... but the thing is, I'm like "sup guys" and while, yes, I need quite some time to actually get the money to get another tattoo, I have been looking for a couple years for a version that will work well with the dragon on my back.

I'll upload a pic of it into my scraps and likely will link to it in a revised journal.

I need someone to draw me a phoenix that will match the 'almost tribal' dragon on my back. I hate the way things match up evenly, so I don't want it symmetrical.
Upon that, I'm looking for something that has red as well as black in it.

If anyone has a little bit of time to spare and thinks this sounds fun, I can't promise moneys for it - however, I can promise an art trade. And come on, don't you like knowing that if it all works out you'll have a piece of art on someone's body - and beyond that, if it doesn't work, you'll still have a cool piece of art from me. That is, if it is cool

Anyway, I'm just putting it out there now...

:sigh:
Also, omg. Someone wipe my memory. I need to forget some things... and relearn quite a few. Any takers for that task?

~N@

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23261003/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23261003/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:59:37 PST
When someone passes, those who are left are the victims. It's so difficult to piece together the parts of your life that escape when someone leaves.

This is the first time that someone from an internet community has ever passed away that I've been 'involved' with (even as little as I was). I don't know exactly if there is anything that I could say - if my respects would be heard, because I don't know how often her family will check back - and how many comments could you even sift through? It's best to not dwell on the past.

It goes back to that line from The Last Samurai - where the emperor asks Tom Cruise's character "Tell me how he died," And Tom Cruise's character tells the emperor says "I will tell you how he lived."

I can't do that, but I can tell all of you that watch me to please check out her work. Even though she has passed, it's important for people to see it.

will be missed by me and many others in our community. I believe that her print sales are going towards a scholarship fund now, so anything that you can do to help I'm sure would be appreciated. At the very least, please check her work out.

Thanks.
Natalie

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23140111/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/23140111/ Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:23:12 PST
... I just want to get better and get back into the swing of things. -_-

Nara


]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22952892/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22952892/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 20:44:51 PST
Back on track with some things:

1. Got stuff back from Jake. This means that now when I have a 3 hour or a 6 hour class, I will be able to actually listen to music *yay* AND... I will also have a digital camera for the 2 classes I will end up needing it for. (success!!) So big thank you to Jacob, even though he never sees this site. I was beginning to think of all sorts of odd reasons he wasn't responding to me: seems though, that he was just uberdepressed, and I dig that. Anyone who believes thoughts and prayers do well in numbers feel free to give a couple mental and metaphysical shoutouts to him. I think he needs it atm.

2. It wouldn't hurt to do that to me as well... I'm still looking for a job, but no where, and I'll repeat it again NOWHERE wants to hire part-timers. Really, I'm a decent worker, honestly. But... it just seems like nowhere in the burbs needs someone who wants to work part time. No fast food, no serving... no cashiers at local stores and groceries. It's really depressing. I know that the economy sucks, but it's getting to the point that my funds are near empty. It's like in the cartoons where the character pulls out their pockets and moths fly out; no joke. I just need a little bit of income so I can keep up my phone bill and my gas money, and the amount of money I spend on prints and such at school. If I can't, I can't go to school. And what then? I'm afraid of not being able to find a full time job if it should come to that. So... think on it, I guess, lol. What I'd kill to have a part time job again. It's times like these that I somewhat miss Medieval Times :sniffle:

3. Pretty much over my sickness. (this is awesome)

4. Finding it extraordinarily difficult to get access to Adobe Illustrator. Really, it's exactly what it sounds like. I am trying as hard as possible to find an alternate way to work on my Typography homework (which requires me to use Illustrator) other than being at school... so far I've been coming up empty handed... We'll see what happens because I'm supposed to have a project turned in tomorrow, and I don't know that it will be. Class is in a little less than 10 hours away... Looks like I won't be getting much sleep tonight. -_-;;

5. I am afraid I don't really have a five, but I hate even numbers.


Nara

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22631467/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22631467/ Sat, 17 Jan 2009 10:55:32 PST
Sick = no bueno.

I have been sick with "one of the worst colds" my doctor has seen in a really long time, apparently. I also seemed to get conjunctivitis from it - for those of you who aren't aware, that's Pink Eye, but it's basically where my cold... moves into my eye. Which really sucks, let me tell you.

So I've been stuck at home for almost a weekish not doing much other than snotting into kleenex and watching old episodes of random television shows and anime. It's rather odd for me.

Not to mention all the cold medicine that when I take it I flip out. I hate taking medicine... but I can't get access to the right kinds of herbs right now, so there isn't any point. I need something to curb the symptoms; I feel like I'm swallowing the edge of a tin can when I don't. -_-;;;

It will get better, I know this. Through a bunch of vitamins and taking those damned cold pills, I should be set. Along with my trusty orange juice, and of course, tea... One would think I've already won the war.

We'll see about that. lol.

Nat

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22559019/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22559019/ Tue, 13 Jan 2009 10:20:15 PST
So I had my first day of school.

My typography teacher is awesome; she's hilarious, and kind of reminds me of, well... me. But anyway, she's great.

My design drawing class is totally not what I'd expected. A bunch of kids were saying it's a step up from likesay, um, Fundamentals of Design, but it's more like the step up from Fundamentals of Drawing. In fact, it's a figure drawing class. So, with little sleep and lots of caffeine, yesterday I drew my first nudes. Our model is pretty hilarious too, he talks often, and it makes me feel more comfortable around him. Not that I ever felt super awkward, it's just you go into a class expecting to draw straight lines and use your compass and things...

And you end up drawing penis? Well, I didn't mind. Which is strange, I thought it would have been weird. It really wasn't. It's totally helping me with drawing people, too. Even in a day or so.

Speaking of which, I have some homework I have to do for the class... which I should get done tonight.

One thing: I sort of have the flu, lol

Oh boy. This is going to be a week for the books.

<3

Nat


PS showed me a site that is way better than that crap I put up here for songs... here you can listen over again, make your own playlist, and it has a better selection... yeah I'm glad he helped me out. Thank you, sir So check out SeeqPod.com. DO IT. ^_^

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22503654/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22503654/ Sat, 10 Jan 2009 10:25:37 PST
Monday I start school again. This is difficult because I still haven't found a job yet.

It is very hard to when I can only work between 3-4 days a week. I don't know how I'm going to pay for much of my supplies... because the loans generally don't cover that. I haven't even begun paying off interest. I thought it would be far easier to pay off loans when I get out of school, but as there is no way for me to do that *now* oh boy, cross your fingers, everyone.

Dad is back from the hospital, and we hang out, which is basically we watch TV while I get him whatever he might need at the moment. Good news is, he's walking almost better than he was before he went in for surgery, which is awesome to see. It's really great that I think this is going to help him out so much... I just hope the "old dad" comes back. We'll see, I guess.

So that's about it.

Typography, Design Drawing, and Fundamentals of Color are what I'm taking this upcoming quarter; we'll see how this goes. I'm itching to start new projects, so... yeah.

<3

ps keep an eye out for a drawn self-portrait coming up soon. I'm excited about it. I haven't done one of those for a couple years It's looking good, I just hope I don't ruin it by attempting to color it w/ the Prismacolor markers. *_* We shall see.


~nara

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22467897/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22467897/ Thu, 08 Jan 2009 10:45:15 PST
Really?

Really.

Wow.

.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22411326/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22411326/ Mon, 05 Jan 2009 10:06:40 PST
I have been down a song. And searching for it doesn't help; I know where it's located - on the CD, it's in my storage unit. In my room, on the computer that ISN'T working (it would be a matter of hours to get that to work, and I'm not that interested in fuddling w/ electronics) So I look for it on You Tube. No dice. I find this thing called Finetune. I'm like "wut I can has playlist?" so I make one. I'm all excited because I think I get to, you know, pick my song...

...and as it turns out, it's completely random WHAT plays, you can't GO BACKWARDS, and you can only advance through like 6 or 7 songs. Like... wtf.

I mean, maybe it's just because this is the first time I'm using it.

So of course, the song it gets stuck on (a little prompt comes up stating "You have to listen to SOME of them" ) is In the Court of the Crimson King... By King Crimson (obv) which, while an amazing song, is also like, well over 8 minutes as I recall. Yeah I just looked it up - about nine and a half minutes.

I JUST WANT TO HEAR MY ONE SONG (even though my playlist is kinda badass)
Well... I mean, it's not like, amazing... but yeah.

[link]

You can check it out. Make one yourself, it's exciting!


... So I just hit replay.

And it went to the song I wanted.
Forget what I was complaining about. And check out the site, it's cool.

<3 Nat

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22178389/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22178389/ Wed, 24 Dec 2008 23:18:35 PST

Yay!


Nara

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22065142/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/22065142/ Fri, 19 Dec 2008 11:12:57 PST
Got everything done except the drawing finals which I have to turn in tomorrow at like 8:50am... which is kind of funny because normally that's when I wake up. lol.

Regardless, more posting will come shortly after that.

Meh.

Thanks for the kind words and support - you all know who you are


~
nara

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21887842/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21887842/ Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:45:12 PST

way too much work and a crazy father who is off meds for pre-surgery...

... which leads to insanity within the confines of this "home."

lol...

... finals.

wish me luck -_-;;

I'ma needs it.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21791356/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21791356/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:06:02 PST
Sometimes, I hate when I'm right. First I will tell you of a time where I was correct about a feeling and a situation... and why I hate that I'm right about it. I will then regale (sic?) you with a tale of a time where I was again, correct about a situation... and tell you why it made me giggle.


1. Recently at my job (I am a server at a Cafe and Wine Bar in Glenview, IL called Jolane's...) they brought in this crazy Executive Chef that thinks he's hot shit (but really he is cold diarrhea). He decided to not only change the menu, but change the managerial staff (how he got that much power I'm not sure) and then proceed to nail the serving staff.

What sucked about this was I did everything I was asked. I only started seeing weird quirks when certain things didn't mesh quite right. Servers would be leaving without doing any sidework, leaving those of us who closed late to actually do all of their work in addition to our own. Which I guess would have been fine if we weren't making 4.50 an hour plus tip. (which averaged somewhere between 9 and 14 dollars an hour)

I then started seeing those who were working along side me drop like flies. Magically and without warning a small army of the Executive Chef's friends from previous restaurants and relationships (including his best friend and his girlfriend) became employed as servers.

People who were good, hard, and efficient workers were let go, such as my best friend at work... who got let go because "she complained too often" - regarding her bitching about the bus boys doing nothing. They of course, would band together and not actually get anything done leaving the servers to accomplish their job while they remained doing nothing for 10 dollars an hour plus 3.8% from every server's gross sales. This could range from 5-20 dollars per server depending on when and how long the shift was, generally being split between two bussers. As these bussers are both friends of one of the managers who is kicking it to one of the bussers' friends, the bussers were in the clear, even though they were high on coke nearly every time showing up for work.

So needless to say, I began to get antsy and hardly wanted to show up for work. It's no fun to work in some fucked up job that you're afraid to actively pursue money in.

Getting to the point. I swear.

I arrived at work this Monday to pick up my paycheck. I was pulled aside and told that I was being let go. I asked why. I was told "no reason" (which, in Illinois, unfortunately is kind of legal) and then they said "well it's been slow and your availability sucks" ... when I was hired in late June, they were fully aware that my availability would change with me going to school. I work three days/nights. I go to school on three days/nights. I have one day off (where I generally work on homework). So... it ends up that I get fired for something that has been fine for the past two months... that I've never been approached about, that was a condition of me being hired to the restaurant.

So I no longer have a job... but the Executive Chef and his buddies... are now the managers... and (now) more than half the serving staff is part of their army as well.

I did not like being right. I called it on Friday when I was speaking to other people about how they got fired. I told them I'd probably be next. From the 17 people on staff when I first arrived there in June, there are now only 3 of the original servers left there (as far as I know). I was the fourth to the last.

And as much as I will miss their food
I really won't miss his cocky ignorant bullshit.

Thus ends another reason I hate being right.

On to times I like being right, to add some levity.



2. The other day in the car, my BF and I got into it regarding what year the "first" (i.e. not Adam West) Batman movie was made. I told him 1989... because not only did I remember it coming out because I was 6, but I own the VHS from when it first released (complete with awesome Diet Coke commercial) and it says on the back of the box.

He insisted it was 87. I told him no. Then we bet $50 on it.

That means I win, for any of you who are still reading this drivel.
And I think that's funny.

What's also funny is that I refer to Batman Forever as "Nipples 1" and Batman & Robin as "Nipples 2". Thanks, Joel Schumacher, you bumbling idiot.

Anyway

This may or may not have brightened your day. And even if it didn't, Smile, damnit. It's good for your face.


<3 Nara

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21363158/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21363158/ Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:00:58 PST
This is going to be a full out feature of a few works from a few artists that I consider to be a huge inspiration to me. Maybe not necessarily in style... But those of you who pull inspiration here on DA from others might know what I mean.

Art that puts a smile on my face... or gives me goosebumps... (or both?) Maybe even a tear or two. They're all here. Because I need something that isn't work and isn't homework for just a little bit.

These are not really in any particular order, I'm going to try to categorize as best I can...

Beginning with PHOTOGRAPHY!



My Best Friend in real life... and a photographer who has truly grown since I've known her (and continues to)...

























http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21206495/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:43:37 PDT
(yay!)

I am Johnny Depp from Chocolat - which, while a movie that won awards, not so many people seem to remember, or their memory of it is fuzzy. This helps me because I don't have to cut my hair or wear suspenders because people don't automatically remember the character right away.

And most of them have picked up that I was him. Even if they didn't know what movie.

So... Mr. Depp and I, apparently, are long lost siblings or something to that effect.

...If only

Anyway pictures soon to follow.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21117681/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21117681/ Wed, 22 Oct 2008 20:46:56 PDT
So the project seemed to be a hit.


Strangely enough, the one I didn't like that much actually went over well (which had a particularly nice ego-boosting effect for me ) And my teacher even said that I shouldn't have cropped out as much as I did!


Time to Scream was probably the big hit, and definitely looked best as a print... i.e. I would put it on my wall, if I didn't find the idea of a human jack-o-lantern too disturbing ... even if I did create it lol... it's weird.


And she did not like me inserting the bottled background for Time to Quit (Drinking). Before I'd initially had just a grey background, so she had liked that more.

Justin agreed and since at our table he's kind of the one that inserts himself the most with things, I was cool with that.

We get until mid-quarter to fix things. While I was excited to put things on print to begin with... each 11x17 print is 6 dollars for a glossy one. Which means that in order to remount everything it will cost me another 20 bucks roughly. While that's cool and all, that means total, that project (and grade) will have cost me 50 dollars. If I do the math, even with my grants and whatnot, it's like I'm working ONLY to go to school. Which makes the whole moving out thing a little unrealistic. I'll have to look further into the whole talking to the school about moving into school housing. -_-;

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21093481/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21093481/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 11:18:40 PDT
it has three parts to it

it's due tomorrow by 6 pm

I have to be in school by 11am.

omg.

I hope this works. Everyone cross your fingers

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21084674/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/21084674/ Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:31:28 PDT
WARNING:

The following part of the journal is a bit dramatic...


I have not had the time nor the money to look into talking with a therapist about my family situation. For those of you that don't know, I live with my stepmother and my father with two stepsiblings. All of these family members are people that I love, and I appreciate the love and caring they provide... when it comes. (which isn't always as often as it could be, I suppose)

I've had a weird start out into the "real world" of "adulthood"... being a late bloomer of sorts, who screwed up in college because I wasn't doing what I wanted - I was doing what they wanted.

So I'm back finally, going to art school for Graphic Design (something I had wanted to get into since I was 16) and it's exciting and awesome. This is the second week of it, and things are a little rough. I have lots of homework, and I have an awesome loving and caring boyfriend (whom I consider family as well) that helps me out here and there all the time.. well, who has been very much as of recently, anyway.

It's now the time where the "men are separated from the boys" so to speak... and as much as I want to succeed, it's very difficult to do that in my given situation.

My father is on disability and needs help around the house. My stepmother is the breadwinner, a principal at a local grade school. Dad also has drinking issues, which for those of you who are still reading and empathize, it's certainly not the easiest of diseases to deal with. So knowing that stuff, things around the house are very difficult to be getting done. I work about 20 hours a week (yes, part time, but supposed to be full, my work sucks -_-; )and I go to school for three classes - which is another 20 hours a week. That means that I have the small amount of free time left to do homework, lol.

My environment at the current time is not really conducive to getting that done. I find that doing homework at my boyfriend's apartment seems to be much easier because I don't have the looming sense of "other crap needs to be done" because all the minute details of things like (washing dishes-though hardly any are mine) and picking up dog crap, washing the dog every day because it has ringworm, taking the sisters to respective lessons and practices... it's like, I am not a stay at home mom. My father is a stay at home Dad, and even if disabled is well enough to be doing all of these things. And these things, sadly, do take a lot of time to get done when all combined. I would love to continue helping around the house but the sheer fact of the matter is, if I'm continuing to stay there, and deal with the mental issues that spring up as well (like when my father drinks, or when my parents think that I'm not spending enough of my free time at home, etc. and Dad's bi-polar, so sometimes he goes off about hardly anything...) it really seems impossible to succeed.

So I wanted to speak with someone with more experience in life to help me clear some of those issues up. If you actually DO read my journal (which I'm convinced is like three persons, lol) You'll know that I've been thinking about leaving and moving out on my own for awhile now. The question is, will I be able to afford it?

I can't afford to fail
I certainly hope I can afford to move out.

So those of you that pray or keep me in your thoughts - leave a special spot for me in these recent times. I will need all the energy I can muster to excel at doing the right thing for myself, even if it means leaving my family to do the shit they have to get done themselves.

I love them, but I feel that I don't entirely belong there.

Thanks for listening guys.



]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20929658/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20929658/ Fri, 10 Oct 2008 23:49:16 PDT
My cat rocks ass.

I'm not sure what rocking ass is, but it probably looks mildly progressive.

Really? Yeah that's all. Anything else you'll need to ask me about.




Nara

PS thank you to those who helped me out in a time of need. ]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20823488/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20823488/ Sat, 04 Oct 2008 10:43:44 PDT
OMG. I have never had a period in my life that I've had to dish out moneys. While a lot of you fellow students are like "haha yeah school costs a ton," I have additional charges on my account that aren't school related.

Like the warranty just ran out on my Kia Spectra (2003). So because I couldn't afford 250 dollars a month for the warranty extension, about 5 days after it turned August (and warranty = expired) My wheel bearing broke. This was about 300 dollars to fix. Last Ssturday, as I was rolling up the window in my car, I heard a click. Then the window proceeded to slide all the way down into the cavity of the door. I got an estimate on this when I got an oil change: The window regulator (a part that I can apparently ONLY get from a dealer) broke - which will cost me around 380 with parts and labor. And that's at my cheap shop where they don't rip me off 'cause I'm a girl -_-;

So I took it home to tell my father (who is convinced that he can keep me at home) about it. He took it upon himself to remove the door panel and try to fix it. The one thing he DID do was put UP the window so that it's stuck UP instead of being stuck DOWN. That's good. The other things he decided to do that are really no help at all to me:

+He could not put the door panel back on correctly. Keep in mind that Dad did this on Wednesday and my friend had promised he would help with it on Thursday as he had time then. Dad could not wait. Oh so yeah Dad couldn't put it back on correctly, so he screwed three bolts in different spots into the door.

+Because Dad left the car doors open so much while "fixing" the car, he drained my entire battery. When I finally tried driving it 3 days later I made it out of the driveway to shuffle the cars, but had to get it jumped to pull it back in. As it stands, I haven't yet charged it because I'm pissed off and journalling (Something I haven't done in eons.)

Now while some of you (that have even bothered to read this far) are thinking "But your father was helping with your car! He was taking time out of his day to help you!"

Keep in mind that my father is on Disability and he is currently unemployed. He doesn't do anything all day, my parents hire freaking maids because his pain is apparently too bad to do any cleaning... and I do what the maids don't because my parents say that I need to "Pay my way" here... because I am getting so much for free...

So no, Dad isn't just "helping out" he was essentially screwing me over. Every day that I had work and had to be out of the house, he made me take his van and had directions. As I didn't know he would be continuing to "work" on my car, I was late for 3 times in a row going to work. It wouldn't matter so much, but there is a new boss who got upset with my tardiness.
Whatever, he's a jackass.

Anyway...
It is my strange assumption that my father is actually doing this to keep me in the house because this weekend was the weekend I was planning to move during. As it stands, I'm sitting here lat 12:35 so I'm clearly not moving at this exact moment in time.

SO
to recap

* Parents are pissed off at me and how I do things. (when are they not? roflsox)

* Because of that I'm moving in with my Boyfriend's sister, and paying the same amount for three months that I'm paying right now in my parents' house: nothing. Then of course, we will go from there and try to move, but this is in the future.

* My car is a lemon. My Dad wants to sell my car so that I can buy my Grandpa's car because Gma and Gpa are moving into a home, so he won't be driving, ever... and Dad says Gpa's car is immaculate. It's also some Buick from 93 and I don't know the model. I'm guessing it's a boat. We'll see how that goes... because I doubt I can actually get much for my car.
This is supposed to happen in November, and I need to fix my TIMING BELT before then because it's on too tightly. If anyone who is STILL READING THIS knows anything about cars, I haven't found out how expensive THAT is going to be because I'm draining my fucking account on EVERYTHING ELSE for the fucking car.

* Because of the car issues, and Dad wanting to work on everything, it seems that it will be awfully hard to move today. It's also the day my parents are celebrating my sister's birthday and good lord, more family will be over today. It's like my parents planned it so that passively I can't make it out of the house. Well, let me rephrase that: I can't make it out of the house WITHOUT MAKING DIRE ENEMIES OF MY BLOOD KIN.
Which, let's get serious, folks... is like halfway there anyway - I'm like "Why would it matter?"

Whatever. Anyone who can give ANY advice on this situation (That cared enough to read my incessant rambling) please do. Even if it's just a 'hang in there' - I seem to have not so many friends who... ]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20752414/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20752414/ Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:47:50 PDT
Probably won't change a whole lot, I'm going to be paying more for rent and less for food.

And will be more mentally stable, methinks. It's hard listening to people that you can't possibly make happy - especially when you're a server and it's what you come home to -_-;;;

So yes, I'm moving out of my parents' house because they're kind of pulling a Cinderella on me, so to speak. Don't get me wrong, I totally respect them, I just don't think that I can see the things they want me to, nor can they view the world through my lenses.

It's really quite frustrating.

In other news that I haven't mentioned... about three weeks ago the boy and I got a cat.

Yes, I know. Those of you who know me IRL are like "wtf but Natalie you like dogs!!" Okay, this cat IS a dog, I swear. She's awesome, and hardcore, and we named her Molly. Or Mali. We can't tell which spelling we want which makes me feel like a yuppie fag.

Regardless, you'll be seeing pics of her eventually.

Thank you to everyone who has been helping me out recently, because it's been a ridiculous time (omg I can't believe I didn't spell that wrong somehow...) and I so appreciate it, you have no idea.



and as always



]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20280597/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20280597/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 21:19:46 PDT So after I complained to my parents about how they had been treating me... They began being nice to me... and telling me that they care about me. ...And actually showing it. It's rather strange.

So I'm torn about what's going on, and whether or not I should be moving.

Oh well. Life is sometimes really weird like that.

Got my schedule for my classes I will be doing Fundamentals of Design and Fundamentals of Drawing on Mondays and Wednesdays. Conceptual Thinking on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Heh...

Anyway, I'm really excited about it. I can't wait to get the "starting kit" or whatever they call it. Basically for a ridiculous amount of money, I get a bunch of tools I will need for the upcoming classes. It sounds cool, and I hope I don't splurge and start doodling with everything.

The one thing that seems to suck about art school is... other types of classes you mainly spend money on books and generally in Junior college, anyway, lab costs don't seem high. However, with art, it seems that you're paying not just to learn, but also for all the tools ya need to make stuff with

Well, I'm psyched ^_^

PS
To those of you who I owe art and stuff... I'ma working on it... I just need to figure out what I'ma doing I work better with rules and regulations and that rot XD

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20144499/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/20144499/ Mon, 25 Aug 2008 08:29:47 PDT




and of course...






In other news, I'm almost late for work, but my parents are being evil and psychotic sometimes. I can't deal with it anymore, and they want me to stay here, and I'm about to leave. It should be happening in about a month, I've found somewhere I can stay for about 100 dollars a month... so That isn't so much more than I pay now. It will be rough, but we shall see how things swing. I hope it will impact my schooling in a better way because I can't see going to art school while I live here. It would drive me insane and I believe my grades would suffer.

On that note... more later.



Nara

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19957671/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19957671/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:17:52 PDT [x] you love hoodies
[x] you love jeans
[x] dogs are better than cats
[x] its hilarious when people get hurt
[x] you've played with/against boys on a team
[x] sometimes shopping is torture
[ ] sad movies suck
[ ] you own an XBOX
[x] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[ ] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
[x] you own/owned a DS, PS2, or Sega
[ ] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[x] sometimes you watch sports on TV
[x] gory movies are cool (I live for them!)
[x] you go (*went)to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball hats
[ ] you used to/do collect football collector cards
[ ] baggy sweatpants are cool to wear
[ ]its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think
[ ] sports are fun
[x] sometimes you talk with food in your mouth
[x] sometimes you sleep at night with your socks on
[x] you have fished at least once
TOTAL = 16



YOUR GIRL SIDE:
[x] sometimes you love to shop
[x] you wear eyeliner, sometimes
[ ] sometimes you go to your mom for advice
[ ] you consider cheer leading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing the color black
[ ] you like going to the mall
[x] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] you like wearing jewelry
[ ] you cried watching The Notebook
[ ] skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
[ ] shopping is one of your hobbies
[ ] you don't like the movie Star Wars (I love them!)
[x] you are/were in gymnastics
[ ] it takes you around one hour to shower
[ ] you smile a lot more than you should
[ ] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes
[x] you care about what you look like
[x] you like wearing dresses when you can
[x] you wear body spray/perfume
[ ] you like high heel shoes
[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid
[ ] you like putting makeup on others
[ ] you like being the star of almost everything
[ ] pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL= 9

Boy: 16
Girl: 9

This is totally not really how boys and girls are...

Unless I'm just getting old.
Oh well.
Boy it is.


OMGZ! I stole this from 's journal. Go visit. You know you want to.

Please also check out...

and and

Because they need lovins.



.... lol

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19911320/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19911320/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 07:36:13 PDT
Things at home have been less than functional/appropriate as far as family life goes.

We're hoping to change that.

Rob has been a great help all around, so much thanks to him for that.

Right now I'm trying to get registered for classes... and find somewhere that will give me insurance so I can go get checkups etc.

Anyway...

Viva el life of craziness.


]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19846879/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19846879/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 14:19:34 PDT
Because Rob and I decided to go to the Ren Faire.

On a second sidenote, my job = kills my feet.

Also...
I got to hang with
and and her friend.

It was cool, but my mood has been all over the place as of late. I hope that next time more will be drawn by me than What I ended up with (which was A colored moon, and LOLPenguin... and hand table and foot chair... hahaha) Anyway, looking forward to more hangout less crabass.

I love Fridays. Hopefully I will get a little time for WoW and for drawing



]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19789812/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19789812/ Tue, 05 Aug 2008 12:14:15 PDT
There is a man who came to the restaurant I work at - who was served by me... who casually in table-small-talk found that I am a graphic design student.

...Judging at his looks, he is in his late 40s. Generally speaking, I am not really attracted to men this age, much less balding, slightly overweight ones.

The point of this all is that... well, he approached me to 'design a business card' for him. I, being a student who has not yet begun my classes FOR graphic design (but will in October!!!) was thrilled because this is something that would look awesome on a resume later on... because he is an author. It's kind of interesting... business card for a published author. I really (at that point) had no reason to say no.

So I accepted a "business dinner offer" and I met him at J. Alexander's.

Here we talked, but every time I tried to bring up business talk, it seemed to be pooh-poohed away because he was talking about something else.

Eventually he invited me to his home to see his cat and his gazebo. This really weirds me out, but as we had not yet begun to really go over the meat of the multiple ideas I'd had... I thought he was doing that just to look over my ideas and discuss concepts in a less noisy, less cold space.

At his home, he asked to give me a massage. I declined, as this is like freaky shit we're talking about here. I've spoken with this guy for a total of what, like... 3 hours, max?

And I'm supposed to be designing his business card, for Pete's sake...

Thankfully I made something about athlete's foot when he asked about massaging my feet.

I was trying to be as kind as possible without one: messing up my chances of being able to work with the guy, and two: not getting him pissed so that I was at risk for anything.

It wasn't harassment or abuse, but it was really inappropriate conduct, and I don't know how to handle advances of that kind.

Seriously
...what the fuck...


anyway...

side notes:
WIPs still... IP lol. Soon, fairly soon.
In the meantime... check out these folks.

Because you should.



]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19668540/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19668540/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:45:12 PDT
It's strange. When I have time off, people around here ask me to do more stuff. I only get angry because I had 11 straight days of working. Then I had my one day off. I thought I'd get to do stuff with people.

I didn't...

I want to be like OMG DRAMA and explain everything, but I think I remember growing out of that phase.

Needless to say, I am pissed about things, and often wish I had someone to speak with that could relate to things I was saying. I think sometimes that this type of situation and feeling happens far too often.

Why can't I just find someone that fucking makes sense for once? lol.


Much thanks to to actually being my "tech support" guy today He and I are trying to hang soon, so I'm pretty pumped.

now that I've already plugged one, I'm also telling you to randomly visit the following because I was real-life friends with them... and then found that they had DA accounts



So go see them, and expect plugs of different kinds when I continue updating mah journal.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19630574/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19630574/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 20:42:53 PDT
I KNOW I have interactive pals here.

So take the poll!!!
(or did I post it incorrectly?!)

Let me know. Because I am having gross block. I'm hoping that people can poll me up so I can have a good place to start getting back into the spirit of drawing.

I finally get my first day off in 11 days on Tuesday. I'm planning on sleeping in a fair amount and either drawing or playing some random videogame or both. Maybe I'll draw pictures of the videogame.

Also I've been thinking about my next tattoo, which is supposed to be a phoenix.

I'm still having issues finding the right type of artwork for it. I can't draw birds (or pseudo tribal crap for that matter) - for those of you that know me and have seen my tattoo on my back (and haven't heard this before, lol)... I want the phoenix to be done in a vaguely similar style as the dragon was done.

ANY PERSONS WILLING TO TEST OUT AND DRAW A PHOENIX TO GO ON MY BACK... will earn lots of gratitude... but at this point, probably no cash.

But when I said "supposed to be a phoenix,"...

I was actually referring to the fact that I thought of an interesting idea that I might begin work on (when I'm bored...)

I want to make something that looks like a compartment door that has been opened (on my skin.) think about the wings you've seen on people, or barbed wire that's drawn to look as if it's entering the person's flesh... like something that is built into me. However, instead of seeing a picture of flesh and bone (as you would if you "opened the compartment" on someone's body... there are a bunch of cogs/gears/etc. - as if the person was a moving/living/breathing clock or something to that effect.

Just a random thought. Let me know what you think, Maybe I'll start on preliminary sketches, I dunno.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19608016/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19608016/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 14:03:32 PDT
If you're creepy enough to pay attention to all my journal comments, you'll know that got a request without even actually winning... but he came close. So second place goes to WHOSE PHOTOGRAPHY ROCKS MY SOCKS and whom you should check out ASAP.

First place goes to He was just a little closer, at catching 9,999 apparently. I'm not sure how someone got the 10,000 pageview without me seeing their name, but I guess it happens.

So, (who you also should check out because he has a webcoming going that is about (for lack of a better description) STEAMPUNK PIRATES.

No seriously. That's like... the two coolest things put together... so you should go check it out and stuff.
You can find his comic here!!

So, ... what will it be?!

ps
I'm drinking and it amuses me.

What you ask? everything.

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19533221/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19533221/ Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:43:03 PDT
So will I.

So whomever catches my 10k hits screencap...
Gets a custom request by yours truly... 'cept I can't do anything in photoshop, so don't pick that as the medium.

Anyway

KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED





]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19436014/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19436014/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:25:00 PDT
I have been working at my new job and it's kind of gay. No one knows what the hell they're doing, and it makes me kind of upset with my fellow Americans again. I can't comprehend how people continue to be so damned incompetent... it's just obnoxious and I don't get why when there are issues, people don't fix them - but instead continue to bitch about what is going wrong.

Like... bitching doesn't fix, let's try and PROBLEM SOLVE!

I'll show you problem solving...



FER SURE

Anyway... Been I don't know... like... A month and a week (or 5 weeks I guess) of not smoking cigarettes.

Holy crap, I can breathe again.

My pants aren't fitting as well, but damnit, I can breathe.



More later...



Nara

]]> ~CalenthrellII http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19432540/ http://CalenthrellII.deviantart.com/journal/19432540/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:32:26 PDT
He paid for a 30day subscription to FFXI

...for me.

I don't know how I feel about this. You know me and WoW.

... !!!

Updating with some crap soon. Need to get PS so that I can work on linework. :sniffle:

That's all for right now.


N@

]]> ~CalenthrellII