http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Cana-chan&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Cana-chan en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:49:43 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/22870004/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/22870004/ Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:39:30 PST Since I have been neglecting this poor account and feel that it might no longer reflect me, I have started a new one up for my photographic endeavors. My new name is la-mokita. This account is staying open because I like it and will still check it from time. That and I am too lazy to change over all the people on my list!

If you wish to add my new account, please do!

Until then, ciao darlings!

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/20738638/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/20738638/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:49:11 PDT
Actually, I've been quite alive for a while, but for some reason neglected this site...I have a ton of pictures to put up.

Anyway, as for my title quote, it is from my most favourite prime minister ever: Stephen Harper. I didn't think I could like anyone better than Paul Martin, but I was WRONG! There are times I love being wrong...
Anyway, I thought I would share his stunning insight with the most artistic community I could think of-- ironically founded on a global network of "ordinary people."

We're just too unpolished to appreciate art, don't y'all know?

For any Canadians out there: Elections are riding up on us!

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/17063308/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/17063308/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:42:54 PST
So things for me have been about as steady and secure as a rollercoaster with no safety belts and a few missing bolts. And about two weeks ago, I finally crashed. I was forcefully ejected from my relationship the day before Valentine's day via text message by the person who was supposed to love me a great deal. I should know by now, but it just confirmed that nothing in life is totally reliable (except death and taxes). The best laid plans of mice and men, right?
Regardless, I figured I may as well take this opportunity to start doing the things that I have wanted to do but just never felt good doing for some reason. Including giving my camera the workout of a lifetime. Now that I don't have to worry about spending time with someone and I seem to have an awful lot of alone time on my hands, I may as well grab it and run.

So, if you are in Ontario and wanted to play with cameras with me, I would adore it. I would like to try and play a bit with taking pictures and maybe with modelling. If you're up for it, I am! Especially if you want to teach me mad skills, cause I would totally love you for it.

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/15261540/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/15261540/ Sun, 28 Oct 2007 16:55:45 PDT
Totally got to see Metric. And it was every bit the orgasmic awesomeness I had expected. Between me and ~night-wolf-Polaris we got some really awesome pictures too. I don't know which ones which of us took that night though, otherwise I would post some.

I'm envious of all you creative people. Damn you and damn my everything block. I need to get more creative friends. I got the strangest look when I showed my friend the furry moth picture.

Um...other than that, yes, Gicy, I'm still alive.

Keep rockin' the cashbah...

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/14567317/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/14567317/ Sun, 09 Sep 2007 19:55:28 PDT
Yeah, so when I said I was going to be on more...I lied.

Sorry?

When I signed on tonight, I got the most flattering note from a girl I don't know, telling me to submit poetry to a website (grand prize is $100K). Talk about an ego booster!

My old camera died over the summer (RIP, loyal Kodak). So now I have a new camera! A canon (just a cheapy, but it has more than "blurry" for functions). I've been tiddling around with it alot, so be prepared for some dumb half-assed photos!

I am looking forward to going through my 813 deviations I have stockpiled over my absence, but I might not comment on all of them. If I love it, I will fave it, and I'll probably leave a comment. Pickles, you have probably already heard my feedback on most of your stuff.

And I might get to go see METRIC!!! WOOO!!! I am so excited. I might pee a little bit (I'll clean up after myself, sheesh...)

What's up people who actually read this?

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/12592861/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/12592861/ Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:23:27 PDT
Hehe...sorry everyone! I will look! Stupid school has been distracting me but I will try!!

How is everyone?
My mouse thinks she is a cupcake...she's cute, if not a little evil.

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/11621893/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/11621893/ Tue, 30 Jan 2007 10:35:18 PST

So, apparently I haven't been on for a really long time. There's like 300+ deviations, so I am sorry again if I don't respond to all of them. Most of them I plan on looking at!

So, in the meantime, how has everyone been? I trust everyone's Christmas was marvelous.

I have a new pet! Not in my possession yet, but a new pet! (Well, another new pet. I made a pet of the spider living on my kitchen ceiling, but after Fluffy violated our agreement that he stay only in the kitchen and there were no friends allowed...he had to go.)
Anyway, the new pet has come to me by who rescued it from a cruel fate with the guidance of her teacher...
It is a wee mouse. A feeder mouse to be exact. Get ready to be bombarded with rodent photos

Hope everyone is well...

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/11071635/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/11071635/ Fri, 15 Dec 2006 10:19:48 PST
And I'm sick! Right in time for the holidays and everything else. That's ok...gives me more opportunity to spread the joy

I'm sorry if I haven't commented on much stuff lately, I seem to be overwhelmed with deviations. I assure everyone that I am looking at it, and more than likely enjoying it, I just haven't been commenting on much.

Um...life's still relatively boring. Which is a good thing! It was getting exciting there for a little while and I thought my heart might pop!

So how's everyone been?!

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/10586507/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/10586507/ Wed, 01 Nov 2006 19:32:36 PST For that, I owe my apologies for the belatedness of this introduction to a friend very dear to my heart and soul.

Allow me to paint a picture of a friend: loyal, funny, affectionate and always there in times of need. She would bring gifts and tokens of love when she could, even if they were not always appreciated for what they were. Her expectations not exceedingly high, but nonetheless you could not help but strive for her, simply because of her unspoken opinion of you.

Those of you who know me better than others will know already of whom I speak, or will at least have an idea.

Friends and acquaintances, I would like to give you some insight into the soul who has been a loving companion and caring member of my family for 10 years: my cat Tigger.

Tigger came to me as a fiesty young spirit, full of spunk and attitude. Never was there a kitten less interested in affection and docile pursuits as my Tigger. She refused to be coddled and seemed to abhor the idea of spending her time being held and patted. Her time was much better spent pouncing on invisible prey and various small debris in the house. Her namesake was originally Tiger, but on merit of her exceptional jumping abilities, we added an extra "g".

Tigger went on in such a manner for a long period of time. She was a polar contrast to her sister and predecessor, Patches, who had been a most calm and affectionate kitten, prematurely torn from life by my cousin's dog.

Eventually, though, Tigger began to warm to the affections of her family. She also, during this time, developed her skills in the fine art of hunting and dissecting mice and other prey in various locations through our house. While deep down inside I genuinely appreciated the mouse gift that she had even carefully gutted and decapitated on our bathroom floor one warm summer night, I am not sure that my friend shared in the appreciation.

Tigger was a rogue and a tomboy. Our large white, princely cat, Fuzz, would never have thought to dirty his lovely paws in such activities as Tigger rejoiced in. For that reason we never thought that she would make an exceptional mother and caregiver; we thought that the responsibility of kittens would prove too restraining to her free spirited nature, and that she might be somewhat neglectful. However, in this Tigger proved us most wrong. When Angel, who we believed would be a marvelous mother due to her affectionate and attentive temperament, proved to be an aloof and uncertain parent, Tigger (who had not had kittens yet) jumped in willingly to wet-nurse the infantile felines. With her own litter she proved just as loyal and affectionate, and boasted a healthy and happy litter- the largest born to our family.

By my mid teen years, Tigger had developed a steady affection for me and often curled up with me; one of her favourite pastimes besides the hunt was kneading polar fleece or like fabrics. She had not yet begun her characteristic 'happy drool' which would be the source of humour later. When I was stressed, when I was angry, hurt or frustrated, Tigger was always there with a purr and a kneading paw. She would look into my eyes with her own golden ones and pinch me. I am still not sure what soothing affect she thought pinching would achieve, but it certainly served to distract from any mental woes in the moment.

A time came in my 19th year of life when the time came for me to move into my own place, away from my tight-knit family. The move loomed large, and my fears were only rivaled by the excitement to take on the role of an independent young woman. Among my many fears and concerns were how Tigger, my tomboyish huntress, would react to her new lifestyle as an indoor cat. We were closer than ever, and she could often be found tucked awkwardly but comfortably in the livingroom chair with me as I read; or else attempting to obscure my view of the book being read so my attentions would be focused on her alone.

The move came and went and she settled into her new life as both indoor and sole cat. Life was simple for her, and she seemed to have no desire to venture outdoors in this new place- indeed, the city with all its unknown scents and sounds seemed to overwhelm her and she was quite content to lay about in our small basement apartment window. Thus was the way of things until November, when a new companion entered Tigger's world.

Most of you will remember Sphynx- the lovely siamese mix featured in a couple of images in my gallery. Tigger's reaction was blunt: she was fine with this invader so long as the little heathen didn't come too close. Apparently Sphynx misread some communications, and felt that it was her duty to sneak up and ju... ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/10382800/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/10382800/ Fri, 13 Oct 2006 17:45:02 PDT tagged me for this uber long monstrosity of a survey thing. And I am tired, so my answers may get wonky.

But before that: HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13th!!! The sexiest day of the year.
And onto this:

ARE YOU:

1. A Cuddler?
Sometimes. The rest of the time, I have only two words: Personal Space.

2. A morning person?
Yeah...sorta

3. Are you a perfectionist?
Depends what we're on.

4. An only child?
Nope, two younger sisters (who are also great friends and also redhead).

5. Catholic
No way, jose.

6. In your pajamas?
No...but now that you mention it, I am getting urges.

7. Currently suffering from a broken heart?
Not really. You need a heart for that

8. Okay styling other people's hair?
I suppose.

9. Left handed?
Nope.

10. Addicted to DeviantArt?
Gosh yes. Time constricts.

11. Shy around the opposite gender?
No more than around the same gender.

DO YOU:

2. Get paranoid at times?
Like all the time?

3. Currently regret something that you have said?
I don't know.

4. Curse frequently when you get mad?
Curse, period.

5. Enjoy country music?
Some of it.

6. Enjoy jazz music?
Some of it.

7. Enjoy smoothies?
Depends on the smoothie. My smoothies rock.

8. Enjoy talking on the phone?
Somewhat. I don't do it much though.

9. Have a lot to learn?
Too much! I better get a move on.

10. Have a pet?
Yes. My Tigger.

11. Have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" person?
It's never the wrong person if you can learn something from it.

12. Have all your grandparents?
Nope.

13. Have at least one sibling?
Didn't I already say that...?

14. Have been told that you are smart?
Funnily enough, I was just told that today...but I am not sure whether to take it as a compliment or not.

15. Have a broken bone?
Yes.

16. Have Caller I.D. on your phone?
No.

HAVE YOU:

1. Changed a diaper?
Many. Many, many, many.

2. Changed a lot over the past year?
More than I like to admit. Maybe more than I do?

3. Had friends who have never seen your natural hair color?
I don't dye my hair...

4. Killed another person?
Many. Many, many...wtf?

5. Had your hair cut within the last week?
Nope!

6. Had the cops called on you?
Oh yeah. I am SUCH a ruffigan...roughigan? Trouble maker.


LAST PERSON WHO:

1. Slept in your bed besides you?
I guess it'd be the creep I live with?

2. Saw you cry?
I guess it'd also be the creep I live with. (Had a bit of a minor meltdown today).

3. Went to the movies with you?
That'd be The Friend We No Longer Speak Of...LOL

4. You went to the mall with?
The creep that I live with. Damn, he is everywhere.

5. You went to dinner with?
The creep that I live with...


6. You talked to on the phone?
Mommy!!!

7. Said 'I love you' to you and really mean it?
Pish, who knows?

8. Broke your heart?
No, no press. I have no further comment.

9. Made you laugh?
Friggin ~luinsewiel. I almost died reading her responses to this.

WOULD YOU RATHER?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
Nose. I want to...but I don't think my workplace would approve.

2. Be serious or be funny?
Creepy.

3. Drink whole or skim milk?
Skim.

4. Die in a fire or drown?
I gotta outdo ~luinsewiel on this one...
Be set on fire while pirating the pirate ship that Eline was pushed off and fall overboard by an even hotter pirate. Arrrrr.
That sucked.

5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?
Parents. My... ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/10351583/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/10351583/ Tue, 10 Oct 2006 19:12:26 PDT
First, I am super sorry to all of the people who have been posting journals and pictures and I haven't been responding. I haven't really been finding time to come on here much. School and work is crazy.
I'm starting to work my way through the deviations.

I also have a ton of pictures I want to submit as well.

I have my fall reading week in about two weeks, so I think I will submit a lot of stuff then. I think.

And thanks for the comments on my page...I'm quite fine, still alive, still kicking, though drowning in homework.

Um...something I just noticed...do the member accounts now have those little what you are doing (listening to, reading...) things? I thought it was only the subscriber accounts. Unless something weird is going on...

~~~~
In other news, has tagged me. You get to learn six totally useless things about me now and I in turn must tag another six.

So here goes:
1) I love pickles. And olives. I mean the bitter, salty variety. Yeah, baby.

2) I have a sock/stocking/underwear fetish. Only relating to my own- I promise I am not going to sneak into your homes and take your unmentionables. (My sister got me purple and black striped stockings, YEAH!!!!)

3) I am learning to deal with my arachnophobia. I even bonded with a small spider one night. However, I still have some personal holdbacks about living with them.

4) You have something in your teeth.

5) I love my sewing machine. It is a streamlined, single minded sexy beast of the stitch that hates me.

6) I am H: Master of the Swivel Chair and of the In-Chair Dance Technique.

I tag...




~~~~
Happy Belated Turkey Day (Thanksgiving) to all you Canadians.

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/10040076/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/10040076/ Mon, 11 Sep 2006 14:21:03 PDT
I can SEE!!! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9987228/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9987228/ Wed, 06 Sep 2006 11:34:32 PDT Like, even the quality of the photos is different than it looks on my home computer!
ARRRGGGG!!! I need a new monitor.

Oh, and I'm putting up a trio of photos of my light that is featured in "Lights Inside" and "Vertibrae", so if you want to see what it looks like, there it will be.

And today is my first day of university!!! *terrified*
And tonight (hopefully) I will be dying the tips of my hair purple. *orgasmic*

Soo, pips and toodles for now! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9874900/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9874900/ Sun, 27 Aug 2006 15:44:25 PDT So, I was wondering if any of the photographers, or photomanipulators in the crowd would offer up some tips or advice on setting up, lighting, dos and don'ts, etc...just in general.

I'll love you for it!

Thanks ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9791561/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9791561/ Sun, 20 Aug 2006 10:21:34 PDT ask if I minded if she drew me. Pretty flattering, since she's an awesome artist.

So, she recently submitted her work in progress, and it is amazing...she's an incredible painter!
Check it out and give her some love.
[link]

In other news...NINE WORKING DAYS TIL BACK TO SCHOOL! WOOHOO!! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9398137/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9398137/ Sun, 16 Jul 2006 19:16:51 PDT I wanted to say that if you haven't seen 's new series, then you suck, and must go see it now or forever wallow in suckdom.
Here are the links (so you no longer have to suck):
Drift [link]
Heart [link]
Bang [link]
Dancer [link]

And now I stole the quiz that my sister and ~GicyNeko did. By the way, I think being a woman is the coolest thing since sliced bread. I totally rocked the socks off of 3 boys at a game called Dirty Minds (it's not what it sounds like, I promise).
So here goes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1.[.5 ] my fingernails/toenails are almost always painted My toenails, because I am far too lazy to take it off.
2.[ ]during the summer the only shoes I wear are flip flops
3.[ ] my favorite toys as a child were Barbies Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony
4.[.5 ] my favorite color is pink or purple So I like purple.
5.[ ] I did Gymnastics
6.[.5 ] I love skirts Does liking them count?
7.[ ] Hollister is one of my favorite places to shop What the bloody hell is a Hollister? Other than one letter off of my nickname?
8.[ ] tight jeans are the only jeans I’ll wear
9.[x] I love chocolate That just goes without saying...
10.[ ] I've never had a real job

TOTAL: 2.5

11.[ ] My hair is almost always straightened never (it has a mind of it's own >.< )> I concur.
12.[ ] I have at least 8 myspace pictures
13.[.5 ] I usually go shopping once a week Do groceries count?
14.[] I love to hang out at the mall with friends
15.[.5 ] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace or earrings Dude, my mom gave it to me in second grade.
16.[ ] I've gone to a tanning salon
17.[ ] I've gone to the beach to tan - not to swim Idiots.
18.[ ] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes
19.[ ] I watch either the OC or Laguna Beach
20.[ ] I change my icon weekly like for msn? DAILY!
21.[ ] I wear a shower cap

TOTAL: 1

22.[ ] I don’t shop at Hot Topic Is that a gossip joint or something?
23.[ ] my cell phone might as well become a part of me I boycott those.
24.[ ] I wear eyeliner everyday
25.[ ] I've been or am on a diet
26.[x] bathing suits are adorable AHAR!! Mine rocks my socks.
27.[ ] I don’t know the difference between a sheep and a goat. You have got to be kidding me...
28.[ ] Big sunglasses are hot
29.[ ] I have gotten my nails done before
30.[ ] MTV is one of my favorite channels

TOTAL: 1

31.[ ] all I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys
32.[x] I love to have girls do my hair
33.[X] I give and receive hugs from all my friends This is not entirely my... ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9130729/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9130729/ Tue, 20 Jun 2006 20:19:29 PDT So I'll get to them eventually, I'm not trying to ignore anyone...

So, I had a good time. Now it's back to work. (Pooey )

I got a Pink Floyd shirt at last! And I need a new toilet handle.

I have good news! (I have to gloat, it's in my nature, ok?)
I am getting an award at my graduation! For exceptional performance in the field (like on my placement- co-op things). Pretty cool eh?
I'm really excited, but I feel sort of bad too.

And I have like 5 million pictures that I should put up, and a few poems. But I'm lazy, so it might be a while. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9012160/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/9012160/ Thu, 08 Jun 2006 19:13:12 PDT
Do you know what that means?!!!
I have twice as many as I did when I had 800!!


I crack myself up.

Yes, I'll go and get to the things I should actually be doing, rather than terrorizing you poor folks with crap journals.

Toodles! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8991494/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8991494/ Tue, 06 Jun 2006 17:33:41 PDT

Is it just me, or are a lot of things getting lower these days?

Low rider trucks, low rise jeans, low standards...

Everything but taxes and gas prices!
]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8928481/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8928481/ Wed, 31 May 2006 08:40:28 PDT

Onto my features!
I have come across a few new deviants who I think need and deserve some loving. Check them out, will y'all?

Very sweet gal, she has some awesome fairy drawings, and some really beautiful photographs.

I'm warning you in advance, the stuff is pretty dark. But nonetheless, the photomanips he does are very well done.

Truly awesome paintings. She plays around with style, so I am sure there is something for everyone.

So go give them some appreciation!!

Also, if you haven't checked out 's Lackadaisy series yet, I suggest you do so! You will fall madly in love with her cats. (and her other works!) ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8915294/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8915294/ Mon, 29 May 2006 20:07:12 PDT
I suppose I am technically in uncurl.
I know there are going to be the cynics who say "Pish, it was only a cat". I know, I live with one. I happen to believe that animals can be much more. I'd like to tell you a little bit about Sphynx- the cat I recently lost.

Sphynx passed away March 8 this year. Passed away is a very, very gentle term. More appropriately, she was torn away in the jaws of a dog I very much had loved. She would have been two this month.
I would never have believed that such a life could be extinguished.

Sphynx's primary characteristic were her blue eyes. Bright as the summer sky and almost as expansive, they were the first thing people noticed about her. Though she was supposedly a "pure bred snow siamese" her tail was tabby striped and she was of the rounder North American shorthair body type. However, all these traits only served to make her more beautiful.
Her secondary characteristic, closely following her eyes, was her rather individual meow. I am not sure if it was the meow itself, or the sheer amount that she used it, but she was the chattiest cat I have ever met.

Sphynx taught me a lot about myself. Large of eye, large of spirit, large of life, she lived as though she knew her time was limited. During my own rocky times, she always had a way to make me smile. Several people offered to take her, and a few offered to steal her from me. Most looked forward to seeing her. She was vivacious!
I know I had my moments with her. Waking up at 3 AM with her dropping her crinkle ball or Mouse onto my face and running away with a "Mrrrr!"
After a few nights of this, we resolved that she no longer sleep during the day, and would wake her up everytime she even hinted at dozing.
And poor Mouse. Mouse originally was attached to a rod, like a kitty fishing pole. He wasn't attached for long. Soon poor Mouse looked rather like one who has had a very bad experience with a hair buzzer.

Sphynx made me see a lot of things. She brought humour and joy into my life. She taught me that it is ok to explore, and to get a little crazy sometimes. She taught me about passion.
I hope I can learn to live like her.
Even if it does mean occaisionally running into a wall.

Surely, there are a million more things I'd like to say...but this is plenty long enough. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8829120/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8829120/ Sat, 20 May 2006 20:08:02 PDT


Go Holly.

Just thought I'd let y'all know I am still breathing...aside from comments. I have been thinking that I want to get back into drawing more again, but I think I am going to go at it from a slightly different angle this time.

So how's everyone been? ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8585287/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8585287/ Tue, 25 Apr 2006 19:16:10 PDT Where do you live?
Where does your love
lie?
Where are you ticklish?
What makes you sad?
What makes you smile?
What's your worst
bad habit?
Do you have secrets?
Do you wish you could reach out?
Do you sing in the shower?
What keeps you strong?
What makes you weak?
What is your heaviest burden?
Do you ever look at the world and
wonder what it means?
How do you love?
How much do you hate?
Who is your best friend?
Who is your worst enemy?
Who do you love?

...Who are you, stranger?


Anyone else wonder these things...watching the passerby as I walk to work...I wonder where all these people are coming from...and where they are going. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8493019/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8493019/ Sun, 16 Apr 2006 19:32:03 PDT
1) I laugh at my own jokes and things that no one else gets...don't ask me, I don't know.
2) I am the uber-dork. My friends scold me for saying that, but I have all the traits to be an uber-dork: I have glasses, freckles, frizzy red hair, retainer, am a bookworm and spend hours on the computer. And dammit, I EMBRACE MY DORKNESS!!!
3) My life goal is to be a spinster with 50 cats.
4) I want to open a bar, but my major is early childhood education.
5) I am very attached to my discman.
6) I dance in my computer chair.

Alright. Maybe they are crap things to know about me, but now you KNOW!!!


Alright, you next buggers with the curse of the tag are...




]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8357775/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8357775/ Mon, 03 Apr 2006 19:59:51 PDT
Sorry if I don't hit your pics or journals quickly, my attention span is about as dead as my patience right now. I'm sorry if I seem short or clippy.

The best my friends can do for me is to tell me I should be seeing a counsellor because I need help and then exclude me from practically everything. I probably do need help, but I need good friends more.
Just a little compassion people. Just a little passion. I just wish I could see that someone is driven for me like I am for others.

I just give up. I don't think I can keep going like this. I just give up. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8292373/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8292373/ Tue, 28 Mar 2006 07:52:30 PST
ARTISTS ARE ECCENTRIC!

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8181444/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8181444/ Thu, 16 Mar 2006 18:18:34 PST
An interesting query...ideas? ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8119249/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8119249/ Fri, 10 Mar 2006 07:41:47 PST
But despite all the confusion, despite all the contrasting feelings battling eachother for my head, I feel ok.
For the first time in so long...I feel FREE. I have choices. I can breathe again. I'm not overly concerned with trodding too heavy around people. That's not to say I'm suddenly insensitive, just that I have become more sensitive to me. Suddenly the song "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" doesn't mean apologizing to other people for not being good enough, but to myself for needing those people who didn't think I was.

And that's ok. I'm ok.
I'm still hurt, I'm still frustrated, I'm still singing for joy. But I am ok. At the base of everything, I feel like for the first time in so long I don't have to compensate for myself. And WOW it feels good. I had forgotten how good.

Moreover...I've realized that all the people in my life who didn't give a piddle about my fears, or who pushed me to be something I couldn't...they don't matter.
I have a mother who would do anything for me and has stood behind me for so long- even though sometimes I didn't know she was there because she was out of my line of sight.
I have a boyfriend who has put up with my eccentricies and accepted the person I am- different or not from the person he first fell for or not- for two years.
I have a father who laughs with me and encourages me and even if he can be a little odd, is as passionate (if volitile) as me. Who took us backwood camping when braver men would have shuddered at the thought of 3 young girls bouncing about in a canoe.
And of course, my sisters. Who, love them or hate them, have always been there and hopefully always will. One who makes me question myself as much as she affirms me and another who shows me time and time again that it is ok to live a little off from the herd.
And I have friends. Friends who have always accepted and respected the headstrong artist in me and the person in me who can be so difficult at times. The people who kept trying for me when I hardly did anymore.

Knowing these things makes me realize that there never will be something I can't conquer. I really am a strong person, and whether others like that or not, it's what I have always been.

So thank you to everyone who ever encouraged me in my art or writing. Thank you everyone who gave me the feedback I needed. Thank you for your words, your humour, your questions, your passions. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8105154/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8105154/ Wed, 08 Mar 2006 16:36:29 PST ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8011698/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/8011698/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 18:31:33 PST
I GOT MY ACCEPTANCE!!!

Yup, that's right, I got my early acceptance to university on Thursday, February 23. The regular acceptances don't go out until March 31.
I'm excited. A little anxious about university, but still excited.

My reading week is over and I am in the last stretch of in-class study (I have 2 months of placement in April and May, so March is my last month of formal school).

AND I finally got a cowboy hat. So you'll likely be tortured with pictures of it sometime in the future.

I don't really know what else to say...that's about all the news I have... ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7791452/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7791452/ Fri, 03 Feb 2006 15:16:22 PST
I applied to university to major in psychology this past Tuesday (yay! *scattered applause*) and my boyfriend applied to college.
So far I'm doing well in school this semester *shock* so I am pleased with that!

I haven't submitted anything for a while, even though I have two poems and a drawing (I'm even colouring it- surprise surprise, the whole thing has so far been done in class. I deserve a kick.) So there will be things up soon, for anyone who cares, lol.

I have to draw some attention to my baby sister again- she just submitted this exceptional sketch. I just couldn't help it.

[link]
There's the link, but I wanted to put up an actual pic of it.
YOU WILL GO SEE! You will like it. I'm not some mad big sister who sees scribbles as a sign of pure genius. She's got tonnes on me.

Anyway...I miss my kitties and shall see them next weekend when I go for my Mom's and Dad's birthdays.

And it was recently ONE YEAR since my Mommy quit smoking! Huzzah and bravo Mommy!!
(In other news, I think it's been about 5 years since my Dad originally put his charming answering machine message on! He really is an odd old bat, but we love him even if his machine terrifies us.) ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7622144/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7622144/ Tue, 17 Jan 2006 18:46:17 PST
Is an awesome photographer. He works in fetish, and though some of his stuff is sort of edgy (for those more conservative in the crowd- you have been warned), it's all very neat. No, he doesn't do nudes, but yes fetish. NOT ONLY THAT! But this gentleman just graduated university, and is in a band also! (Sorry ladies- he's taken.)

So there's my feature.
If you're interested, other people you might want to check out are:
Is a totally fab model AND photographer
Has really neat comics. Her style is so unique and fun.
My baby sister... And she's awesome too...
and Same artist. One is her photography account, and the other is her anime account. (Her style is amazing, even if you're not into anime, you should really give her a look)
Aww, she's such a sweetie and her style is just so fun and sassy! I love it.

Look at all those super artists up there! Oh, the wonder!

Oh yeah...I am gonna be on TV!! Coming out of the candidate meeting today (Elections are next week, Canadians!) someone from Rogers stopped me and my friend and asked us which parties were best equiped to deal with the concerns of youth (or something to that flavour). I think my friend said it was channel 10...Rogers First Local...Meh, I don't get it, pretty sure.

Oh, and Dayn, I didn't get the NDP pin, but I did get a Conservative one. Is it ok if it says the name of the representative from this area?


LOOK HERE!!!! LOOK!!!
Haha! I'm sorry, but you have to check this site out...sheesh...I can't stop laughing at it...so funny... [link] ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7465646/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7465646/ Sat, 31 Dec 2005 10:23:02 PST I GOT A DIGITAL CAMERA FOR CHRISTMAS! Bwa hahahaha! I'm so excited. Unfortunately, I'm also incredibly lazy, so there's no pics up yet.

I'd like to wish everyone a happy New Year...We're supposed to be going out, but I think my best friend is a bit of a hypochondriac...she always thinks she's sick! ALWAYS! Any possible side effects of anything she ingests occur right away, and usually severly. She's something...but I love her all the same. Nonetheless, she thinks she's sick, so we might not be going out for New Years. Crap deal, but I made jello shooters last night and they're set now, so I'm good.

Hey, speaking of booze, did anyone else know that absynth is legal in Canada? I didn't think it was, but when I was getting my Sour Puss last night it was like three bottles over. Weird...That stuff is 70% alcohol and costs $87 a bottle! WHO IS THAT CRAZY?! Is there really a market for that?

Anyway, I got tagged again, so I am going to think of another 20 totally useless things about me that I know you're all dying to know...
1) I'm a total chocoholic
2) My sister thinks I look like Sideshow Bob in the morning (my hair sticks out)
3) My favourite colours are purple and green.
4) I hate red wine.
5) My boyfriend's name is Craig. We've been together 2 years.
6) I have 2 little sisters. My baby sister is on deviantART.
7) I don't like flowery smells- they give me headaches. Which sucks, because most of my friends hate fruity smells.
8) I'm a romantic. All about the chocolate and love notes...
9) I love the movie The Wall...it's just so freaking weird.
10) I worry endlessly about my family.

There's ten. I can't think of anything, so if there's anything you wanna know...just ask or something... I just can't think of anything else. Those are the most random 10 things about me ever, I think.

Oh, yeah, I'm at 900 pageviews. Aww...People look at my page.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!!! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7391588/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7391588/ Fri, 23 Dec 2005 11:24:36 PST

Today is my 2 year anniversary with my boy! It's the only time we'll be dating twice as long as the year before!

Finally, I got this from a friend's () journal and since she answered all the questions, I am going to do it too! (I think it sounds fun, and gives me an opportunity to confuse y'all!)
Reply to this journal and I will:

1. I'll respond with something random about you. Really random.

2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.

3. I'll tell you what color you are

4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. And depending on my mood, it may not make sense to us, either.

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you,

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of,

7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you. .

8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal

Merry Christmas! (Or what you celebrate!) ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7309801/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7309801/ Wed, 14 Dec 2005 13:17:11 PST

I would like to thank for helping me finally find a signature...*tear* (BTW if you haven't seen her gallery yet, you're missing out. GO LOOK!)

And I would like to congratulate my baby sister on an A (88%) on her poem!! She's such a smart, talented girl...so much like her big sister.

I am FINALLY finished exams so I can work on my dress, reading my book and completing my quest for a logo (now accepting ideas...). Not to mention finishing my Christmas shopping and wrapping it all. Meh, just throw it in a paper bag. It's the thought that counts

No word on my marks yet and my evil teacher (apparently they don't make witch emoticons...) has still to post my marks on the presentation I did almost a week ago (tomorrow at 9AM will be a week). I'm really wigging out about that. Not cool at all. Her class (as my lowest- hence her being evil) is my lowest and so determines whether I remain on Dean's List.
On the bright side, I know I got a 93% in two of my classes. As of Friday I will hopefully find out the rest of them. *cross fingers*

And that's about all...Oh. I miss my kitties and LOOK! There's a Canadian flag icon! How cool. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7273431/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7273431/ Sat, 10 Dec 2005 11:43:17 PST
See?

Crazy buggers. I like this one:
And the only cat one is

What the heck?! They have a llama and no kitties! Frick.
Any way, it's only 15 more days! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7168676/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7168676/ Mon, 28 Nov 2005 15:09:06 PST
So I'm here just to yack, huzzah!
I have noticed I have some lurkers...I hope they talk to me. I don't bite! I promise! And if the urge comes over me...I think I'm vaccinated.

So, what is on everyone's Christmas list? (Or what you celebrate...or if you don't, just what sort of things would you like to get?) Name your top 3!!

And for those of you who know what I'm talking about- I've sort of started the dress. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7132646/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7132646/ Thu, 24 Nov 2005 12:50:22 PST But it DID! Just like in the movies- a perfect blanket of snow...

I woke up to close to a foot of snow and really bad road conditions. Icky. But pretty!! My friend and I (because our class was cancelled and we were already at the school...woo) decided to build a snow fort out by the smoker's pit. But it wasn't packing snow
That's alright, there's packing snow now! And we will make a fort!

Anyway, aside from that, I'm doing better in my one class than I thought I was, which is nice to see. And I know I aced the first part of my practical (it's sign language, ESL) so I just have to get ready for my expressive- it shouldn't be that bad, I know most of it very well. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7002583/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/7002583/ Wed, 09 Nov 2005 17:52:34 PST

*bum dance* ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6927073/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6927073/ Tue, 01 Nov 2005 14:50:35 PST

She's got a super neat style. Her shading is totally unique, and she uses it well. She's mostly a freehand artist, but does photography as well, and dabbles in computer stuff.

Her characters are full of life and charisma and have the most adorable and/or odd expressions you'll ever see. They never fail to make me laugh.

More than that, this awesome gal has a wicked sense of humour, and is one of the nicest people ever. AND she has wicked taste in clothes (which means stripey socks and petticoats to me...) To top it off, she's bilingual, as she is fluent in English and Norwegianish! Seriously though, she definitely doesn't get enough loving here on DA.

And I don't know what else to say. You're gonna have to go give her some loving and see for yourself what an awesome deviant she is!

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6891340/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6891340/ Fri, 28 Oct 2005 13:29:12 PDT
Here on DA, we generally can't see one another. I don't know if the people I adore are black, white, mixed, Asian, Jewish, Christian, Muslim or elsewise. I don't know about your religion. I don't know about your colour. I don't (for the most part) know if you are big or small. Short or tall. What you look like when you laugh, and when you cry. Sometimes I would love to, because I want to know people.
And does it really matter? In the world of art, the heart guides us through the clouds. If you fell in love with a work of art, would you care if the creator was a particular colour? Religion? Sex?
No.

That's the way I've lived my life. I saw skin colour as another physical trait- just like eye colour, hair colour, height, weight. Whether someone is in a wheelchair, or can walk and run. It's just the shell we wear over what really makes us human.
I never noticed a real difference when I was an ignorant child. Then one day words started invading my world. Things like racism, prejudice, judgement...what were they? Why did people care?
As growing continued, I started realizing something else- I'm of the race that's hated the most. Wanna talk about judgement? Of people classifying you on skin tone? I went from not caring about physical differences to living in fear of offending someone.

I see articles all the time on racism. It makes me sad. But more than anything, it makes me confused.
Now I don't beleive I was ever meant for these times. I'm cut from a fairly different fabric and don't always know what to make of it. Or maybe that's just me wishfully thinking. (everyone wants to think they're of different cloth)
Either way, all this hatred...all this judgement...Sometimes I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to shake the people who turn the key and lock up hearts.
But I can't. If I do, I'll get labelled. By everyone.

What's so different anyway? People in all their complexity fascinate me. Other cultures...oh wow! The neat things they do, the way they believe, and deviate from those beliefs. The foods they eat. The way they are different. They way we are the same.

There's people singing about being the best based on their skin colour- or about being cut down for it, there's religions attacking eachother, there's countries that hate one another based on what they have...
Why?
What's really so different?

When people can connect and unite under a title like deviantART, why can we not do it as a whole?
Does it really matter what colour of skin, how long they have lived, what gender they are, what practices they keep if they make you happy?

Maybe I'm rambling, and maybe I'm just a silly white girl. Maybe people will say I don't know what it's like. Fact remains, whether I do or not, I have a passion and a genuine care for people. And all this hatred from all people is eating me alive. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6854219/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6854219/ Mon, 24 Oct 2005 11:29:09 PDT I mean, normally I am a fairly bubbly person, and I still am.
But I have a lot of things going on in my personal life, and the two people in my world who know and are not actually involved never stop to ask if it's ok. How I'm doing. You know. And lately my hearts deepest, darkest, strongest desire is just for someone willing to listen. Someone neutral. Someone who won't try to offer advice or help, but just listen and be neutral and not judge me on my feelings. Someone who won't be shocked or appalled when I cry, because I likely will and won't become upset with the feelings I have been repressing.
Someone who could change my world.
I never used to think that it was all that much to ask for, someone to just listen. But it seems that so often when you try to talk to people, they spend more time offering advice and analysing what you are saying than actually listening to what you are saying. I just need to know that someone hears me. That I'm not totally alone with this burden. I want someone to get angry for me. To tell me I am right. Just once. I think that would change alot for me.

Thanks for listening! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6758473/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6758473/ Thu, 13 Oct 2005 14:49:44 PDT go give her some loving, she's an awesome gal)

So according to this, I am supposed to share with ya'll 20 random things about myself. So here goes:

1.) I have a legendary temper. Though I have learned to keep my cool with most things now, once you annoy me, it's all downhill.

2.) My two biggest pet peeves in life are people who don't question things and ignorant people. By ignorant I mean intolerant of different cultures, religions, etc...

3.) Close behind are people who are pushy to pedestrians and people with bad grammar. As in, REALLY bad grammar. Who chew other people out for it. I want to chew on you. *makes biting motions*

4.) I gave up my passion for practicality. WHAT?! At least I admit to it. *pouts*

5.) I am both quieter and stranger irl than online. Why? Because you simply cannot type strange noises and because most of the people I am surrounded by on a daily basis probably don't have a creative bone in their body.

6.) I like hanging out and working with men better. Don't ask why, I don't know. Which is a total peeve to my significant other, I think. He's a jealous boy.

7.) I'm easy to get defensive, and sometimes take a long time to cool. Oh, and I am very good at holding a grudge when I do.

8.) I don't think many people really know me. And I am afraid to say, most people in my real life wouldn't care to. It would break their dreamlike notion of me, I think.

9.) My God, am I proud of my red hair!

10.) And being Canadian! (Ever wonder what the "Cana" stood for? )

11.) Sometimes I come across as rude or blunt. I don't mean to be, I just can't help the honesty. It chews on my tummy until I spit it out.

12.) Every so often, I get totally bizarre and irrational urges to do or say something. It's terribly hard to keep them under my control.

13.) I love getting praise It feeds my (surprisingly) fragile ego.

14.) My goal in life is to make at least one person every day feel good about something. Whether it's how awesome they look in their new shirt, or how smart they are, or how much I admire them. But I will never lie. If I say it, I mean it.

15.) I like to think I have a sense of humour, even if it's shy.

16.) There is a person in my heart who I hurt a long time ago. She probably doesn't even care anymore, but I do. Because I hurt her. I want to apologize to her, but I don't even know where she is now.

17.) I make funny noises at random when I get bored or excited. Or hyper. I can't explain them. They just happen.

18.) My favourite colour is purple, despite the fact that almost none of my clothes are purple.

19.) I like stars. They remind me how beautiful the world is, and that this old earth isn't so bad. After all, why would you want to touch the stars? I hear they're mighty hot.

20.) I'm afraid of spiders and of being annoying.

I dunno who to tag. So pooey.

Gicy and Dayna go crazy. Oh, and luinswel (sp?). Just cause you're funny. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6746205/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6746205/ Wed, 12 Oct 2005 07:34:27 PDT I want to take a bit of time to shed a little light on a magnificent young woman who doesn't have nearly enough fans or pageviews.

Meet AKA my baby sister. She's not really a baby. She's 16, going to be 17 in March. So in all actuality, she quite far from baby. But she's always gonna be MY BABY SISTER.
To see her in person, she looks very much like me. Despite the almost 4 years between our birth dates, we were often mistaken as twins. Same red, curly hair. Same blue eyes. Very similar face shape.
She just buzzed her hair off for cancer at the start of the summer. Give her some loving for that! She's 16 and her hair was BUZZED OFF. I mean, right to her head.
It's growing out now, and it looks pretty cool. Soon her older sister will be able to terrorize it with little bows and hair clips.
She dresses in a totally eclectic manner. Lime green shirts, boy pants, fishnet gloves. Not a drop or dab of makeup.

Now that we've gotten past that...She is an anime artist. She's frisky and experimental with colour, and does all of her stuff by hand. She's got a knack for words as well, when she does write. And apparently a totally sick sense of ironic humour.
Her drawings are graceful and lovely. Starfields touched by angelic looking women in flowing dresses, contrasts of light and dark.

So check out her gallery and give her some love! Dammit! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6698920/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6698920/ Thu, 06 Oct 2005 20:12:45 PDT
Not that anyone on DA has seen my hair, because the pic I have up is terrible and all, but it was long and curly and red. I'm an insanely pompous redhead too. Arrogant as anything, I just love it.
But that is neither here nor there. My hair when I left this morning almost touched my bottom when wet.
As of 6:00 tonight, it can barely touch my shoulder when pulled straight.
Hopefully I will get a pic of what it looked like before and what it looks like now. Massive difference. It's like I lost 10 lbs just by cutting my hair.

So a good foot of my hair is going to the cancer society to make wigs for children undergoing chemotherapy.

And that's that. RIP, long hair. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6680075/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6680075/ Tue, 04 Oct 2005 17:03:29 PDT What do you see when you look at me?
What do you think when you hear my name?
Am I anything?
I just want to know what has happened here.
Where everything went. Like some sick magic trick.
I want to know where I went, and what happened to the person who was me. Does anyone know me?
What is it you want from me? Do you want me the same, but different?
Do you want to change me to something you can desire? To something I used to be, but you can't find in me anymore?
Am I even still here?
I thought I was, but then something changed, something shifted and now it feels like I'm on the outside of everything looking in.
And I don't know where to turn, because this world I'm in now never stays the same. Everytime I look around everything is different.
Everything tilts, sways, spins. And I have been getting oh so dizzy.
I just want to sit down.
I wish I could just let go for a while. Finally buckle under the cross that's grown too heavy for my tired back.
The burdens I carry, they poison and drive me.
They make me scream in agony and wither in silence at once.
I just want to finally break. I want to let these demons out.
I wish I were a weaker person than I am. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6666690/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6666690/ Mon, 03 Oct 2005 08:06:59 PDT
Seriously now, I'm joking. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6623014/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6623014/ Wed, 28 Sep 2005 06:53:35 PDT How to stop it? What can I do? I can't turn away from these things. These demons living everyday in people all around me, and I never know when I will be next. Or if I already am.

So much hatred, too much hatred. Too many lives taken for granted, too many people who just don't care. And everytime I see it, another hook in my soul. Another slap in the face. By this point my spirit would look like someone took a sledge hammer to it.

Is this what it feels like to go crazy?
Like you're screaming and no one hears you. They just smile and nod, pretend to care.
To feel your mind slowly falling in on itself and all of your supports snapping. Everything you worked to build slowly crumbling.
Having people all around you and yet feeling so desperately isolated, closed in. Not able to be with people without wanting to be alone, and unable to be alone without wanting company.
Totally incapable of expressing the turmoil in your brain, utterly petrified of admitting to your thoughts.
Oh so fake and far too real. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6504806/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6504806/ Wed, 14 Sep 2005 16:19:16 PDT Um...Life's been hell, but that's what it's supposed to be! If it wasn't, we'd all die of boredom.
I found out that my "official" religious title would be "agnostic". Who knew? I guess we all do now! Someone explained it to me. It sounds as close to me as anything could be. Not that I am posting that to annoy anyone or whatnot. I know religion is a ridiculously touchy subject- I mean, if you have such a strong faith in what YOU believe in, why get all fuzzed up over what someone else believes in?
I'm looking for a new apartment and of course people are their judgemental selves. They don't see a PERSON looking for a place to live. They see a YOUNG GIRL who wears black mascara. Not that it should mean anything, but they seem to make something of youth. Which annoys me because I know people twice my age who aren't any more mature than me. Some are less so. Either way, I'm waiting on the response from a place my boyfriend and I just loved. I'm terrified of not getting it. Even if getting it means sending my cats (my babies!) to my mom's house to live. *heart break*
The daycare keeps calling me in and I'm back in school and already falling behind. Which means that while I DO need the hours, I sense a total collapse happening soon. I just went to my grandpa's memorial this weekend and my grandma scattered his ashes. My family is still fucked up- for multiple reasons. Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to EXAMINE my family in one of my courses.
The coffee shop is really pissing me off now, and I am seriously thinking of quitting- which is saying a lot, if you even KNEW the people I used to work with. They were butchers- enough said. That, and I am not normally someone who quits when it isn't necessary, but I am quickly realizing that that for the sake of what little sanity I have left, it might be.

So, in summary, I'm about ready for what the charming MissShyly calls "scream therapy". Except when she spoke of it, it was a release of positivity. Which, for once, I am lacking. It breaks my heart to admit it. My total (idiotic?) infatuation with the world in which I live is my driving force, but lately I haven't even had time to notice it.

Pip pip and have fun all. I'll get some optimistic fluff to you as soon as it comes available to me! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6277540/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6277540/ Sat, 20 Aug 2005 07:42:21 PDT
Mood: Sort of silly...
Listening to: Mr.Brightside
Reading: Just finished Harry Potter...

Alright, we all know I'm SICK, because I'm an optimist, but this week was totally beyond me. Even considering most weeks are sort of odd for me, because that's exactly, well, me.

I think Monday might have been the only relatively normal day I had this past week, though I can't vouch for today yet. Even Monday was different.
Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad things or anything, it's just been strange.
As of Monday or Tuesday, my mom's evil ex will have gotten notification that
A) she won her case against him and he now owes her upwards of $10,000 and
B) She is garnishing his wages.
Yay!!
Elsewise, my boyfriend's brother never showed up Sunday like he was supposed to. Indeed, he didn't come home until 11:30 Monday night. I could've kicked him, and I don't work with him. (He has been living with us for about a month and a half so he could work with my boyfriend).

Tuesday I got a call from a woman at Randy River looking for an assistant manager. Unfortunately, it was full time and I go back in 2 weeks to college.

Wednesday I had a feild trip. Just for those of you who DON'T know why I'm odd, I work in daycare as supply. So yeah, a feild trip to an amusement park (one for young 'uns, of course) was fun, but high stress.

Thursday I was woken at 6:50 AM by a call to come into the daycare. Even with the time to get ready and everything, my brain stayed between the pillows on my bed. I had to go to work without it, which sucked, cause my eyes didn't know how to work properly until a few hours later. That's not a super early morning for me or anything, it was just unexpected.
And then we had two- not one, TWO- fire/evacuation drills. (The daycare is in a shared building). So...13 children between the ages of 4 and 5 having to sit against the fence in their playground NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY. It sounded like a suicide mission to me. But they were so good...they were patient, and calm...I just wanted to hug the lot of them. Even the older children didn't do as great a job as them. They rocked. So you get an idea of how messed up this made our schedule and everything- and if you know children, why I am still so impressed with their behaviour that day- our rest time is supposed to be at 12:30. Latest. We were finishing up our lunch (which comes right before rest time) at 1:10.
They were so wonderful...

Yesterday I got called in again. Which was a pain because I also had to register. So I went in for 9:30, left again at 10:30 to register and came back at 11:30. Thing is, they must have realized they didn't actually NEED the extra body shortly after they called me, because they put me in cleaning the craft room, which is a battle in itself. (OH BOY, is it ever...*phew*)
Then I covered lunches so the other teachers could have them. The children were amazing...the preschoolers were asleep by 12:30! That's not natural! I ended up working late, which I feared meant not seeing my boyfriend before he went to his mom's for the weekend, but he waited for me Wasn't that sweet of him?

Doesn't sound so abnormal now...hmmm...This is a REALLY long journal...If you read it, say "Yay!"


The End ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6267980/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6267980/ Fri, 19 Aug 2005 05:03:34 PDT
Mood: I dunno
Listening to: AmericanIdiot-Greenday

Woot! That makes this day a little brighter...considering my stupid job has once again butted in on my plans...Stupid job...I hate working two jobs.
But they gave me a week subscription! So far I haven't noticed a difference...oh well. I hope they don't expect me to buy one now. I have no money for that. I'm broke, which would be why I always take shifts when it means changing my plans...pooey
And I register for classes today! Which tickles me pink...I was supposed to do some back to school shopping as well, but yeah...

What a weird frickin week! I shall divulge my exasperations in another one of these. And I'm no longer entirely sure that's a word.

]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6218704/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6218704/ Sat, 13 Aug 2005 18:19:01 PDT another year older
one more point on the scoreboard of life
some more innocent hope
some more disappointment
another rotten start
slow to catch up
tired of being the one people forget
tired of being the one people disrespect
what's got to be done
to be worthy
of affection, praise, attention
anything
why can't there be one day
just one
in an entire year
when there will be respect
joy
acknowledgement
why can't there? ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6205368/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6205368/ Fri, 12 Aug 2005 07:55:53 PDT Pip pip and take care y'all! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6001896/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/6001896/ Fri, 22 Jul 2005 05:34:34 PDT Would you know it? If you were crazy, I mean? Is it possible to have a psycological disorder and be aware of it? I'm not saying I do, just posing a question.
I think, what I need lately is just for someone to say "You know hon, maybe you're right. Maybe this world isn't so dark after all. Even if we can't touch the stars, what's so wrong with staying here on Earth? I'm sure the stars look so much more beautiful from here."
Someone to assure me that it really is okay to have fallen in love with the world again. That it's not silly, it's honest. That this societal depression is a fad, a style. That this old world still has a lot to offer, if we could just open our eyes and get past ourselves. If we could stop-
because the world will keep turning if we do-
and just look and see things for once.
How if you lay on your stomach in the grass, the world takes on a whole new perspective. How shadows aren't truly black, but sort of a purpley-blue. How daisies stink, but dandylions don't. How the cracks in the sidewalk make pictures if you look at them long enough. How you can make a total stranger smile when you pay them a random compliment.
We hold a lot more power than we credit ourselves for. Power over one another- the power to make someone happy. The power to alter your perspective; your reality, even just by laying in the grass. Why is it so cool to be sad? Sad is a wonderful emotion, but it's not the only one. A rainbow would never be so beautiful if it were only one colour. What's so wrong with being an optimist?
Maybe I'm just crazy after all. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5907325/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5907325/ Mon, 11 Jul 2005 18:39:20 PDT People used to do it, you know. Once upon a time, as bizarre as it may sound, people actually drew on PAPER! With real ink! If they totally kabotched it, there was no UNDO button to save them, it was scrap it and start anew.

Sorry, I'm just peeved. I'm a student, and not an art one at that, so I can't afford any fancy drawing programs. I can't afford photoshop, or those little pen-thingies you draw on the computer with. Hell, I don't even know what they are called in case I could afford one! I'd be the idiot walking into the electronics place going "I want a pen thingy for my computer. To draw and stuff. Yes, I'm computer challenged. No, please don't call security! PLEASE NOT AGAIN!"

Seriously, can't do shit with the computer. Alright off the computer...I can even do fonts freehand. Just not on the computer. I revert back to toddlerhood on the computer when it comes to drawing...

Alright, that's it for the rant.
Sorry for irritating anyone...don't call security ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5897218/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5897218/ Sun, 10 Jul 2005 18:14:32 PDT So my new deviation is up...I was so hesitant to do the hair, cause I was terrified of messing it up! I did a little, but now it's done and whatnot...It looks so much better in reality.
I'm thinking of putting my one journal, Three Cheers, up as a deviation. It turned out rather well, I think.
Either way, my other deviation should be up soon, especially since I have tomorrow off! I'll also have to try doing something vector...if I can ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5870786/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5870786/ Thu, 07 Jul 2005 19:42:49 PDT
I guess I should sooner or later actually post the pictures I have been drawing...but neither is finished. I'm too scared of messing them up beyond repair to finish them! ACK! But soon, they should be up soon...(not that anyone is caring...I just feel like maybe I should actually be putting up something.)

Anywho! Y'all take care now, hear?! ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5841046/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5841046/ Mon, 04 Jul 2005 19:46:09 PDT And this concludes my self-pity ramble. ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5787966/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5787966/ Wed, 29 Jun 2005 04:26:43 PDT three cheers to the pain you've caused
and I would like to toast
how you pried us all apart
such malicious intent
disregard for others
could not be matched, my darling
you have such talent
for setting people on eachother
for ripping open old scars
renewing tattered memories
repainting the dried tears
everybody raise your glass
here is the attention you so sought, dear
all the credit you deserve
I think you could break a thousand hearts
and never even care
everybody drink to that! now I drain my glass
Three cheers to hate
to pain
to you ]]> ~Cana-chan http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5726570/ http://Cana-chan.deviantart.com/journal/5726570/ Wed, 22 Jun 2005 18:51:50 PDT I recently (as in, 10 months ago) moved to a city. Or I consider it a city. I come from a small town. Like, our whole county was population 8300. No kidding. Anyway, the city I moved to is population 13,000. See why I think it's a city?
So people around here complain of the gossip mill, that this is a "small town" and people talk. When I tell them where I'm from, they have no clue. I mean, I have to give them some credit- my hometown is little more than a fly-speck on the map. Some of them pretend to know where it is, but once I start talking about the area, they totally gap out. It's almost funny. I feel like such a hick when it happens, but then, I make no wrong impressions about my hick-heritage...I mean, how many folks do you know say "howdy" or "y'all" on a relatively regular basis? My mother is convinced that the cows gossip! People actually requested "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" at high school dances. That's wrong on a whole new level. Not that it's a bad song, but...it's a high school dance! High school dances are horomone pits of peer pressure and alcohol intake!
Anyway, enough of that. How many people have ever heard jokes about "cow-tipping"? Yeah, I come from that sort of area. Cow-Tip County, Ontario. Although I never actually knew anyone who did it. Yes, there were lots of drunken jokes, and granted, there is an abundance of cows primed for tipping...but cows are heavy, loathsome things, and fairly mean-spirited, the majority are. So no one I knew of ever went through with it. Or admitted to it...I can see it being a messy job.
In a conversation with a friend today, I mentioned that cows must outnumber people in that area roughly 10:1. She asked what would happen if they ever decided eat people. I reckon if they ever got the taste for human blood, we hicks would be wiped clean off the face of the earth, and the cities not far behind, if those waddly cows could walk that far. They would likely just hide out in the forest in wait of unsuspecting passerby on the way to the cottage or whatnot.
(There you go for mindless rants, Gicy! ) ]]> ~Cana-chan