deviantART: by:Carolyns-Mewmix

deviantART: by:Carolyns-Mewmix http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Carolyns-Mewmix&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Carolyns-Mewmix en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 31 Dec 2009 22:52:23 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Still alive?! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/28439080/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/28439080/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:34:11 PST I haven't made a journal in...more than a month?
My sincere apologies. I've just been really caught up in...life. I'd provide an explanation, but that would take way too big of a journal, and I don't think you guys care all that much anyways. d:

So, a question for you. I have a shitload of deviations I want to submit (all photography), and I wanted to hear your opinion. Should I submit them all in one chunk, or submit about 50 a day? (lawdy, I just realized just how many I have to submit...)

I hope you guys didn't give up on me!
I'm...not sure how I feel about writing. I just don't have anything in mind right now.
I've been singing a lot, though. Singing and dancing and loving. â¥

_{I want a cuddle~}

This Journal Skin was designed by =Night-Beast

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix someone found my full name and house phone number. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/27496402/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/27496402/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 23:13:43 PDT they prank called the house and woke everyone up. When hung up upon, they called back repeatedly until I unplugged the house phone.

What do.

I really don't want this to go any farther than prank calling.

(by the way, I am 99% sure this person/s is from the internet, just a few minutes before someone in my tinychat room had found out my full name (I go by Erin on there), city, and had said "lol, I'm gonna find out where you live". ughhfashdfhk.)

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Life happens. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/27272464/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/27272464/ Thu, 17 Sep 2009 22:39:55 PDT
The dad of a friend of the guy I'm going out with died today while they were visiting him in the hospital.
Kinda really makes you think.
About how stuff that means so much to you can be taken away so easily.
I keep seeing it in my head, the guy standing by his father's hospital bed, worrying terribly over how it's gonna end and then BAM, the dad flatlines, and the boy realizes that this guy who's been there all his life is suddenly just
gone.
I don't even know this guy. Hell, I barely know the guy I'm going out with.
But I still feel weird. Like I shouldn't be happy, because some guy just lost his fucking father. (car accident, for you curious ones.)

AP Physics + Honors Trig/Pre-Calc + regular eng/hist + procrastination = me drowning in a sea of homework.
I apologize for not being active lately. I haven't seen any great shots. And no wonderful prose springs into my mind.

Right now, I have 227 deviations and 53 journals to go through.

Ah, weekends.

Guys, don't die on me. Please. I love each and every one of you. Drive safe. Eat healthy. Don't do drugs. â¥

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Stickam! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/26921337/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/26921337/ Sun, 30 Aug 2009 17:40:28 PDT [link]

not sure how long I'll be on.

(sorry for the lack of journals. e_e)

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Gomen nasai! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/25828401/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/25828401/ Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:38:24 PDT
Wtf no journal in a month?!
I promised myself not to post one until I finished those poems I said I'd write you! I've held off on a lot of deviations, too.

Poetry-wise
I attempted to write them tonight and found out that my spark for poetry has gone away. OTL I will make up for it some day I swear! I have the comments saved...maybe I'll entertain myself during summer school. d:

Deviation-wise
I went to a reptile convention in San Diego the other week, so I have a TON of reptile pictures to show you! Also, I went to the Getty museum in Los Angeles with my mom, Helen, and Chas, so I have some pictures from there to post too. :] Unfortunately, nothing story-wise (yet). I owe you guys huge.

Life-wise
School wise: My final grades were 2 As, 2 Bs, 2 Cs and a D. I'm taking summer school for Geography, since I couldn't take it freshman year (band @ VHS).
Social wise: Urk. Too much for one journal. Plus, this is an art site, not a bitch-about-my-life site, so I figured I'd spare you guys from that stuff. Still single!
Oh, and I gave myself 4th piercings (in my ears). Still hurts a bit, but whatever, it's worth it. :D
I find it amusing to go through my old photography and look at how much my skills have improved.

Love you guys~â¥

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix I have a proposition to make. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/25096482/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/25096482/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:03:00 PDT more. So when I got home, this little idea popped into my head! Though it's not really original at all. Hurr.
Anyone who comments here (though I'd prefer it to be my watchers) can request me to write something for them, whether it be a poem or a short story. Here are the rules:
a) I'd prefer it to be dA-appropriate, so I can post it on here when I'm done. But, I also can send it, so I guess you can request anything you like, as long as it follows the other rules.
b) Please keep violence at a minimum. I've never been involved in it, and I'm not good at writing it. Also, I just don't like violence.
c) No incest. :/
d) No fanfiction. And yes, that includes your characters. Feel free to have me make up new ones, though!
e) Poetry is the shortest and easier to do, but hey, I need to knock some discipline into me! Hur.

So go ahead, request away!
â¥

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix 20k! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/25077801/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/25077801/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 20:00:56 PDT hur hur, thank you guys so much for the pageviews~ I know they don't matter, but, it's still kinda cool. Hehe.

I went to therapy today, and I realized how happy I am with my life right now. It's pretty cool. I guess the only bummer thing is realizing who I want to keep in my life and who I don't, but hey, at least I'm getting rid of unnecessary pain-in-the-ass-es.

So if you're still a friend of mine by the end of the school year, congratulations! :]

â¥

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Interesting things. + 100 CHALLENGE http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/25060109/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/25060109/ Sun, 31 May 2009 21:56:27 PDT
My parents made up with each other. Which is really awesome. No more tension in the household, now everyone's relatively happy and loves each other! :D

I got an A on my Honors Chem test, and I raised my English grade! Hopefully, I might not screw myself over this semester. Which would be cool.

I pre-ordered the Sims 3: Collector's Edition off the military exchange website, which was really neat, so there's no tax and no shipping fee. Eeee I can't wait for it to get here.

But but but, there's more awesomeness! My mom and I went thrift shopping, and I found a leather trench coat for $1.95. A BUCK NINETY-FIVE. I just about keeled over and died. I have wanted one for SO MANY YEARS. And here we go! For less than a subway sandwich! Akhfkahdfaskhg.
I want to wear it to school tomorrow, but there's the issue of temperature and looking like a Spencer wannabe. :/

I'm happy. :]

A quote I thought up a few minutes ago:
"Your characters are living, feeling beings. Treat them like they are."

I also feel like writing. Writing diiiiirrty. So maybe you'll see something from me later tonight. ;D

Edit!:
I'm gonna do the 100 photography challenge. Hur hur hur. Watch my gallery groooooooow!

1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix News! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/24865088/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/24865088/ Wed, 20 May 2009 21:32:30 PDT Carolyns-Stock

! Right now it's just got the ID and icon up, but I will be uploading eventually! A lot of my photography that I don't necessarily consider submission-worthy on this account, but could certainly be used as stock.
Yaaaay.

Secondly, a conversation between me and my mom, while she was making quesadillas for lunch:
Mom: -flipping plate over in microwave-
Me: Mom, you didn't put a second tortilla on.
Mom: Obviously, you weren't paying attention.
-microwave cooks, beeps, mom pulls it out-
-mom attempts to flip over the quesadilla, finds that it's stuck to the plate due to there being NO SECOND TORTILLA-
Me: I TOLD YOU!
Mom: ...how did this happen? ;_;

Well, it amused me.

Fuckkkkkkkk I have a shitload of Chemistry homework to do and no work ethic...

But hey, at least my mood's improved!
I slept for 13 hours yesterday. eee.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Thanks for the 19k! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/24625942/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/24625942/ Wed, 06 May 2009 20:20:06 PDT XD anyways...
Thanks! n_n'

Once agian, I'm going to kindly ask if you guys could visit my bro's gallery. I'm pretty sure he'd appreciate feedback, and his works are interesting to read! I think the ability to write runs in the family. d:

How do you feel, my dear and darling watchers?
You can tell me everything.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Some cool things http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/24519763/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/24519763/ Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:45:11 PDT It would be greatly HUGELY appreciated if you, my oh-so-helpful and inspiring watchers, would pick out your favorite pieces from my gallery (of any medium!) so I can submit them to the county fair.

So firstly, the cool things:
-My brother has a deviantART account now! He's

~Eprlide, and I'm not just saying this because I'm his big sis, but I really think he has some potential as a writer! If you people who watch me for my writing could go check him out, it would be really neat, I think he deserves a bit of a welcoming and people other than his sister checking out his work.

-Also, in case you haven't sifted through your deviations yet, one of the assignments in my English class was to write a blog-type thing from the perspective of a teenager in the world of Fahrenheit 451. After having typed it up I posted it here, as well as on my social networking sites, where my English teacher saw it! She pulled me aside this morning to let me know that she thought it was amazing, and was so impressed with it that she wants to mail it to Ray Bradbury. Eeee! It really made my day, and has motivated me to write more. n_n

-Thirdly, I received a note on this site a few weeks(!) ago from a person who is interested in featuring my art in his magazine! Though I'd be receiving no pay, and I don't even know the title of the magazine yet, I think it would be a wonderful opportunity to get my art out into the world, as well as maybe a few fans? c: More motivation for meeee.

The not so cool stuff:
-I'm too lazy to do my homework. e___e

uh.
I'm too happy right now to think of other stuff. :D

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix It's YOUR chance to help! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/24066858/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/24066858/ Sat, 04 Apr 2009 23:09:22 PDT You see, every year Ventura hosts the Ventura County Fair. Lotsa rides. Lotsa food. And, art exhibits! With awards! Paintings, doodles, photography, poetry, prose, food, clothes, you name it. If the judges deem your art worthy, it gets displayed for all to see!
And this year I figure what the hell, I might as well enter. I'll finally get the recognition I deserve! Haha.
But I need your help! I'd like to submit my best work, so I'd like you guys to let me know what your favorite things from my gallery are. Doesn't matter the medium, just let me know.
I'm kind of excited about this. hehe.

I'm not sure if I want spring break to be over or not. o_o

There's also family drama going around, but I figure this is an art site, I'll save you guys the time.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix In case anyone's interested http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23995972/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23995972/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 23:31:47 PDT DDD It would be cool to actually...hang out with my friends during spring break.

Again, summary: ice skating Wednesday the 1st. No joke. DO SOMETHING WITH ME BECAUSE OTHERWISE I'LL FEEL LIKE A LAZY SHITTARD.

aieeee laptops.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Current Events http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23979149/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23979149/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 02:06:10 PDT
Computer technician from the place my dad used to work at came over and helped run this program (it takes a while, though, so he left to pick it up tomorrow). In a summary, the program told me I'm hosed. It's not the software on the hard disk that's pooted, it's the hardware itself. Joy!
But hey, at least I have the bare essentials. I'm going to miss all my favorites, though. ;_;

I was a fatass all day and just sat around playing Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal. And ate. Went to therapy and choir and did a bit of jewelry shopping (99c store and Big Logs ftw!), but that's pretty much all the exercise I got.

Oh, and I also pierced my ears again. Due to spacing this one out more, I think this is the last one I'll have on the lobes. aye. I'm too much of a wuss to get cartilage.
ehehe my ears are all pretty. Strange thing is, the left ear doesn't hurt at all, while the right one kinda hurts like a bitch. o_o

I NEED TO WRITE MAN. e_____e

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Not all hope is lost! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23931015/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23931015/ Sat, 28 Mar 2009 09:23:01 PDT ) has failed, I still have all my important stuff! Yay!

The bummer is, though, that if my C: files are truly beyond the point of no return, I'll lose all my gaming info. (This isn't so bad, since I basically only play UT2004, Bejeweled Tiwst, and Sims 2).
But...that means I'd lose every single one of my Sims 2 games, excluding the ones I received as presents/bought with my own money. But the ones I don't have include the base game, nightlife, uni, and open for business. Plus, all my custom content...gone. (at least that stuff's retrievable, though, it'll just take forever.)
So, uh, *wink wink* if any of you local dudes (or even people who just don't need the earlier games anymore) could give me those (once I find out fersure if I'm screwed), that would be greatly appreciated. Haha.

But oh man, I'm not completely screwed! Yay!

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP!

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix HELP PLEASE http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23918029/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23918029/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 14:19:41 PDT So, here are the details from my Yahoo!ask question:

When I turn on my computer, it loads the first screen with the info, then changes into a black screen, waits a few seconds, then says: "Reboot and select proper boot drive
Or insert boot media into selected boot device and press any key"
It was working fine on Tuesday, but came home Wednesday after school to find it like this, still isn't working. My dad is a computer technician but will be gone for three weeks, and can't do anything over the phone (his previous guesses were proven faulty).
Today's my first day of Spring Break, much of my personal stuff (thousands of pictures, multiple word documents, and games) is on there, and the backup computer is slow as heck! Please help. :c
Right now, the first boot master is the hard drive. Let me know if you need more info! Nothing unnecessary is plugged into the computer, no CD in the drive.

Additional Details
There's a C: drive and an F: drive, tried booting on both drives, neither of them worked!

arrrrgh I don't want to have to call a technician, those are expensive, aren't they?

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Computer Trippin' http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23892039/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23892039/ Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:01:21 PDT "When?" do you ask.

Which is really the sucker part (I just remembered, in fact). My dad's not going to be home for three weeks. T____T

I'm sitting in my mom's room typing this up atm, and then it's off to bed (then school.)

â¥

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Oh, the irony http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23788796/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23788796/ Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:02:57 PDT after my therapy appointments.
Though I guess it's not all that terribly interesting, unless you're me.
A warning though, this journal's gonna be about my personal life (it is a journal, after all), so if you just watch me for my art, you might wanna skedaddle.
so.

Life has reached an odd kind of dullness for me. I wake up, I go to school, I come back. I may create a few memories in between, but nothing really significant happens. I don't really remember my classes, just the fact that I learn stuff. (and lucky for me, I remember what I learn.)
Sleeping has become so much more interesting (and comfortable!) than being awake. If it didn't make me fatass, I'd sleep most of the day. Because I'm cuddling with my cat, and it's comfortable, and in my head, my dreams come true. Even the nightmares are worth it, because at least I get something done. In my dreams, I have a superhero complex. I'm always saving something.

I also feel very distant. I have around 840 songs on my iPod, but none of them really attract my attention anymore. I never really turn on my iPod and go "oh, I want to listen to this song!" I usually just mill around until I find a song I'm not completely bored of.
I feel distant from my friends, too, though. I can tell them all I want, sure, but there's a difference between hearing and listening, and another one between listening and understanding. Listeners are great, and I respect the folks, but the majority of the time when I talk to people, I'm left feeling very unsatisfied.
Hell, I don't even tell my therapist everything. Which is retarded, because that's what therapists are for. But I seem to get over my issues after a day or so...but then they come back to haunt me soon enough. (pooh, now you guys can tell how badly I needed therapy)

Other than that, it's just the normal crap. I weigh too much, have too much pudge, I haven't gone out with anybody in 9 months which must mean that I'm an unattractive but nice girl (mostly) who will always be that "she's a great friend, I just don't like her that way" girl.
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to hang myself in the front of the school, just for the shock effect. I don't actually want to die. I just want to take a break from life. Come back after a few days. But that's impossible, ne.
So I guess I'm stuck here.

I'm tired of this running around.
give me a fucking answer.
[/rant]
(no, that was not directed at anybody here)

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix I'm sure you've heard http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23737637/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23737637/ Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:49:52 PDT So I had this problem, right? I told my friends. I told my therapist. But it didn't really help at all. Kinda frustrating really.
One night I'm pretty down in the dumps, and I decide to take it out in writing. A few days later...
KA-BLAM! Problem gone!

Makes one happy Carrie! ...sort of.
Now I have nothing to look forward to. T__T
Life has lost it's zest...

GIVE ME SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

(shit dude, I'm supposed to turn in a story tomorrow that was 3 week's worth of work, I don't have shit done)

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix In a quandary. (EDIT) http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23686696/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23686696/ Sat, 14 Mar 2009 18:22:30 PDT [EDIT]If you're interested in reading the story, note me.[/EDIT]

So, there's a couple things on my mind. (maybe more than a couple.)
Here, I'll organize them for you.

I have no idea what to do with my life.
School just seems so...pointless. I love learning, I really do, but I just can't seem to put in the effort needed. I kinda feel like my life is falling apart. It sucks.

Personal shit.
So I just wrote this really personal piece. Meaning, personal to the point I don't really want to show it to people I know irl. Just...too many issues. You can say the whole "I won't judge, I promise" and "I'll keep a secret" stuff, but, really. I don't feel comfortable.
anyways.
I do want to get it out there, though. Get opinions. But, I have no idea how to show it to internet people and not to others...le sighhh.

Shit in general.
Instead of my creative writing class doing what I hoped it would, it's done quite the opposite. I now feel like my (new) work is complete and utter crap that I shouldn't be posting online. I don't get nearly as many responses from the people in my class as others (I know, I shouldn't compare, but it's human nature), and it's really just demotivated me.
I feel like when I actually do write, it's too short. And that since it's prose, it won't really draw that much attention anyways. (Hell, even I don't look at prose as much as visual art). Kinda makes me debate whether I should post on this site at all or not. ._.

tl;dr : I'm a fat lazy emo tard who's bitching about her life again.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Birfday http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23602024/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23602024/ Sun, 08 Mar 2009 23:58:39 PDT real well. My mom says she can tell I've matured, else I would have throttled 'em.)
So, Friday I had my dinner, which you guys all heard about.

Yesterday I got my first ever massage! Was nice and relaxing, though the whole being almost-naked thing was hard to deal with, due to the individual gravitational force that is MY BREASTS. But mmm, the oils. My skin felt properly hydrated, for once.
After that I went to get my first ever manicure and pedicure! My mom really likes the place, but it bugged me. A bunch of azns (I'm not being racist! it's just true) that spoke minimal english, whose nails hurt my skin when they gave me my hand massage...I didn't really like it. But I got my nails (finger and toe) painted this royal blue, and I love it. I've never felt like such a girl before. XD
After that I went to my rehearsals, then concert, which lasted until 10. blech. Came home and went to sleeep.

Today I woke up and went into my parents' room, asking my darling daddy for breakfast (since it's my official b-day and all. But I like to think of being born as a process rather than a moment, so I think of my "birthday" as the 7th-8th. c:). We all went and ate at the local restaurant down the street (yes, the same one from the dinner, 'cause the place is just that awesome), which lasted for a bit. Came home and lazed around, then it was time for choir (AGAIN). That lasted until about 7-ish, after which I went with my family and my grandma to panda buffet for dinner and ate twice as much as I should've. o_x

NOW I GET TO GO TO SCHOOL AND THERAPY TOMORROW! YAY!

yes, I burned my finger on my new flat iron. It doesn't curl my hair as well as I'd like it to, I'm thinking of exchanging it for another one.

QUESTION: Is it worth it to buy a deviantART subscription? I have the ad-blocker ad-ons for Firefox, so those aren't an issue. Is it worth the money to have CSS, more page customization options, and polls? I'd like to hear your guys' opinion before I buy.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix So, my birthday dinner. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23566327/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23566327/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 23:34:06 PST but anyways,
MY BIRTHDAY DINNER WAS AWESOME.

and

really helped spice things up, along with my friend Kelli. I love you guysssss.
My loot:
-lots of moneys (I have ~$220 now)
-nice smelling soap
-smelly gel pens (the good kind of smelly!)
-a small notebook of paper
-beach mat with pillow
-a photo album (nice thought, Grandma, but digital cameras don't do that...)
-$25 gift card to Barnes and Nobles
-$10 gift card to Best Buy (GAMESSS)
-$5 from my cousin. n_n
AND AND AND
-a flat iron from my mom's friend!

my jaw just about hit the floor when I saw that. HO. LY. SHIT. It's what I've been saving up for! Now I guess I'll buy myself a dA subscription...XD (I haven't gotten my hair to curl just yet, but I'm sure trying! I guess it takes practice.)

By the way, my actual birthday's on the 7th/8th (I don't like to have a set birthday :D), but we decided to party early. muahaha.

I'm getting a manicure, pedicure, and massage tomorrow. Oh mannnnn.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix I haven't been able to stop... http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23451377/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23451377/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 13:07:36 PST The sinus pressure in my head is going to kill me. And my eyes keep watering whenever I sneeze, and and and. It's unpleasant as a whole.
My conclusion? I think I have allergies. Which SUCKS.
Back in the good ol' days, my family used to have this doctor who took care of both emotional and allergenic problems with a process called NAET. She joined the coastguard, however, so we haven't been able to see her in years.
I'D REALLY LIKE TO FIND OUT WHAT'S BOTHERING ME. ;____;

The fates intervened with the slumber party I was gonna have today, now I have nothing to do this weekend. @___@

How are you guys doing?

Constant sneezing + being on your period is NOT a good combination.
._.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix A summary of my dream(s) last night. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23334081/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23334081/ Sat, 21 Feb 2009 23:28:49 PST
boy (teen) was a prisoner given to another boy (teen), who was a captain of this large moving sea-apartment-thingamabobber.
everyone wanted captain to kill said prisoner, and they believed he did.
But he secretly hid him in places around this ship-city, eventually moving him to the captain's quarters with him.
and prisoner boy stayed there for a while, and the captain told the people they had to move location, and that they'd have to go underwater.
for some reason, you had to hold your breath while the ship-city went underwater.
they got above water and sailed on for a bit, when captain came up top to protest his undying love.
for his ex-girlfriend, who had died a year ago. But he still loved her bunches, and threw flowers into the ocean.
Prisoner boy, who thought that the two had shared something special (apparently not), goes up top as well and says "fuck this", and jumps onto land where there's pirates.
He gets a machete/sword/huge knife thing of some kind and goes around slashing things, until another pirate pulls him aside.
shows him to this painted wooden statue of a man with only one arm, that says "if only I hadn't played with knives, I'd have both my arms, and could live a fulfilling life."
Boy learns not to fool around, and becomes captain extraordinaire.
another part of said dream, two girls on a plateau of some kind. They're talking about the importance of some things, one girl gets terribly offended and jumps off the edge of the plateau/cliff, into the ocean.
(I thought this was underwater, too, until I realized how impossible it was. And I don't think the girls were any being in particular. But they were female.)
Later on, a black whale (one of the girls from previous story) is now searching for other whale (orca, offended girl).
After many, many miles of chasing, they end up on a beach .
Black whale talks about how uncomfortable being beached is, how the rocks are cutting into her skin, but it's okay, because she really just wanted to see orca again and tell her how much she means to her.
Orca forgives, they begin to swim around again.
a man sees them, asks if they need a home. Says that he's from the circus (after much searching, "I don't seem to have my circus certificate on me"), but he's real, he promises, and can give them a place to stay.
Circus ends up being some water park, with thousands of spectators, where they perform fantastic tricks.
Don't really remember much else.
I'm tempted to put these into a story, but I have no idea how to, especially with so much detail in some places and lack thereof in others.

sorry about shottiness. I'm tired.
But would any of you be interested?
(yes, my dreams are all this strange.)

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix So, the weather. EDIT http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23236621/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23236621/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:19:15 PST EDIT
So, just saw hail for the first time in my life. Was tempted to reach out my hand to check, but decided against it.
man, that was one black cloud that passed over us.

I woke up this morning either because it was raining so loudly or it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. I remember waking up and coughing, then going "O hay, it's raining..." Made myself a cup of tea, looked outside, and gaped. It was fucking POURING.
Lessened up until a while ago, when it stopped raining period. The sky is still dark, however, giving the illusion that it's late in the day when it's really only 1:30.
And then what? I'm sitting, minding my own business, and there's thunder. Thunder, and I wasn't even aware it had started raining again. I look over at my cat, who is no longer sleeping peacefully, but running towards my door.
I go on dA, see that other people are amazed at this weather as well, and laugh. Through the living room window you can see that it's now raining, but hasn't collected on the roof yet. (the water running off the roof is what alerts me that it's raining.)
And now? The sun is shining, it's no longer raining, but the water is now dripping off the roofs.
Oh, the confusion.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix I don't get it. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23224509/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23224509/ Sun, 15 Feb 2009 21:08:41 PST Because when I make people happy, it makes me happy. Call it bullshit, but it's true for me.
But it doesn't seem to work. People say I'm shallow. That I'm stupid. Nobody likes stupid and shallow people, it's fact.
When she's next to me, my mom sighs so loudly that I'd like to hit her. She constantly talks about the wrongs I've done, especially to my dad, and I can hear it from down the hall. Oh god, the sighing. She does it so much.
And whatever she says? My brother backs it up. Even when he has no reason whatsoever. Remind me not to save his ass anymore.
And you're supposed to tell your friends your problems, right? I have about, oh, five people I could call. Three people I actually want to call. Only one of those three picks up (on occasion), and doesn't always listen when he does.
Fucking fuck. I'm surprised I haven't exploded already.

But I'd feel like a bitch if I asked for help. Because it's so selfish and "I'm crying for attention"-y.
I don't know what to do.

For all of you who have said I'm PMSing:
If I had been, I would have started days ago. This isn't some chemical unbalance crap.

Which I guess is why I'm posting this on dA. A lot of you internet friend peoples, who are generally nicer than the real life ones.

I love and appreciate you all.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix So, Friday the 13th... http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23194494/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23194494/ Sat, 14 Feb 2009 11:35:05 PST Very, very long stories short:

Thursday
Didn't feel too hot, didn't eat lunch, throat was really sore by the end of the day. Spent the night at the Paradise Pier Hotel (not the Grand Californian, my mom was mistaken), which was pretty neat. Rattling AC kept us (me and my bro) up all night, only figured out how to turn it off the next morning.

Friday
Woke up at 5:30, couldn't go back to sleep for the life of me (so much for taking advantage of being able to sleep in!). Took a shower, drank tea, took pictures, met people. Watched the second Bionicle movie with my bro, then we walked to Disneyland and California adventure. In the morning I felt very weak and light headed, which only got worse the later it got: if it wasn't raining, it was really fucking cold. Had an anxiety attack on Space Mountain (which had nothing to do with the roller coaster itself).
Got a very expensive lunch at the Blue Bayou (short ribs), which my brother and I didn't even like. I felt so bad for wasting my mom's money. After that, sores on all sides of my mouth got worse, preventing me from eating any more (drinking, breathing, and swallowing was very painful). I was a wreck by the end of the day (my brother was tired and had the sniffles), causing us to leave before it was even 8:00PM.

So far, today
Went to the bathroom to find out the toilet was clogged, accidentally stepped on (and broke) a mirror. Mouth and throat are still mucked up. Feel slightly better after having a bowl of clam chowder and a chocolate rose. Got to cuddle with my kitty, though.

Yeah, I'm still single. Joy.
I'll be posting pictures soon.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Disneyland http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23154600/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23154600/ Thu, 12 Feb 2009 11:29:40 PST Due to me leaving for Disneyland after school today, I will not be on the site today OR tomorrow! le gasp!
I know you'll miss me. ;_;

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FAVS AND THE WATCHES
<3333

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix So there was this lions club speech thingy, http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23130130/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23130130/ Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:32:33 PST And I get to go to the second round! Joy. I didn't even want to do this in the first place, but my grandparents (lied!) and family pressured me into it. So.

Man, I am so tired. Even after soda I got from speech contest and ice cream I got from my mommy.
I hope you guys like my new stuff.

Thank you to all my recent watchers and fav'ers! c:

my friend Heidi showed me the Boom De Yah Dah commercial for Discovery Channel, and my god, I love it. I downloaded the MP3, and put it as my ringtone.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Looking for models! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23080231/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23080231/ Sun, 08 Feb 2009 11:03:20 PST I'd really love someone to be a model for me! More than one! Anyone who wants to be!

Sooo, if you're interested...tell me! I'm not really sure how I'll work this out, but I'll think of something. @___@

I want to play UT2004, but my computer doesn't. ;_;

Trying to pinpoint my mood is like trying to predict Ventura's weather.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Well, shit. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23028153/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/23028153/ Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:18:10 PST So later I call one of my best friends for comforting words, and (being the highly intelligent person I am) I ask him what he'd rate me on a scale of 1-10 bad-person wise, 1 being "not a bad person" and 10 being "I can't even stand you." He rated me a four. I guess I asked for it, though.
I get to school today, and put on this MoleSkin stuff that's supposed to protect your feet from getting blisters (I had already gotten some from my tap shoes, and hoped that this would prevent me from getting more). Less than an hour into class, and they've fallen off already, and my shoes are digging into my heels again (through my socks!). Now, people who know me know that I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but man, I was about to start crying. owee.
My drama class has a group of fucking retards who have nothing better to do than talk at all the wrong times, wear ugg shoes and minishorts while it's raining and complain that it's cold. Then call me a hater when I say they deserve getting in trouble.
According to some people, I actually am a selfish ugly bitch. Damn! My self-esteem had just gone up.

I have a bunch of homework due tomorrow, and no motivation to do it.

tl;dr: I feel like shit again.

how can one keep up this breathing?
I want to fall asleep forever.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Better-ish? http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22993598/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22993598/ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:08:20 PST
So things are starting to look up, I guess? Turns out that this court case thing is all over. Really, truly over. Thank goodness.
Went to the church with my choir room, and someone had turned in my camera to the office! Made for a mucho happy Carrie. c:
Got new binders to organize my school stuff in, which should be a plus. Also got bandages for my poor bleeding feet.

As some of you may already know, I'm in a creative writing class with

, and

. At first I thought it wasn't all that great of a class, but now I'm starting to really appreciate what it's doing for me. Since I....sort of lack the time to do so otherwise, it gives me a chance to write. And YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!
Yes! I shall be posting new stuff soon! yaaay.

Speaking of which, here are a few ideas that I have as of now:
-Six teenagers who are each gifted in some way or another, meet and have the times of their lives. (in progress - definitely rewriting)
-Two groups of teenagers, representing the two types of elements (tangible and intangible), being trained on an isolated island. (in progress - considering rewriting)
-A girl, 15, is saved from being raped by a mysterious woman who is fearfully referred to by strangers as "her". (in progress - definitely rewriting)
-In the future, when advanced technology is common but the world is now barren, one young woman speaks to the earth and tries her hardest to bring it back again. (started)
-Three teenage best friends, unable to be contained in their city any longer, embark on a road trip that will leave them changed forever. (bits and pieces written, held off until further notice)
-On a moonlit summer night, a girl not much older than yourself finds a young man laying stark naked in the middle of the road, who justifies himself by saying he's "observing the stars, and protesting against the gradual human takeover of nature." (started)

guhhh, I think that's it for now?
Those are really short and crappy descriptions of ideas that are far more complex, but it would take an entire journal to explain each one of them. Pairings will vary! (yes, there is f// and m//.)
Let me know which one is your favorite, and I'll be a bit more motivated to work on it!
(the first three ideas are a few years old, hence the rewriting.)

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Crapola! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22925189/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22925189/ Sat, 31 Jan 2009 14:45:51 PST Well, I checked the room today, and guess what? It's not there! And it wasn't in the car of the person that took me home, either.
I'm so fucked. I didn't even have it for a month.

Social crap has gotten to the point where I don't want to hang out with my group anymore. But I don't know where to go. Somewhere with people in my honors classes, hopefully.

My family. is driving. me. crazy.
I want to leave this place. And not return.
I love Ventura, but some of the people in it drive me crazy.

Going through my pictures. Fuck, I miss my camera.

Fuck fuck fuck. I hate my life.
My life feels like The Diary. Sort of.
"Can't think of a reason to get the fuck out of bed
Curtains closed, lights are off, am I alive or dead?"

arggggh my family can't afford therapy.
*rageragerage*

maybe I'll write. I dunno.

also: dA's bugginess is annoying me. A lot. Can't go through my deviations, can't delete comments. Grrrrr.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Court http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22873580/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22873580/ Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:20:55 PST incident with my neighbor, yeah. That's been my week so far.
Last week they swore we would be in court, which didn't happen. But finally, on Monday they called us and told us to be there at 10:30 yesterday (Tuesday). So we went.
However, it turns out that they hadn't fully picked a jury yet. So my mom and I sat in the DA (District Attorney for you un-courtly people)'s office for hours. And hours. 12:00 came, where we had a 1:45 hour lunch break. Which was nice. After that, we waited until about 3, where they had finally finished picking out a jury. Then I got to testify.
My god, that is nerve-wracking shit. blargh. Finished court a bit after 4:30, went home and crashed. Court is so draining.
Went there right after school. Waited for a few hours, never got called in. Turns out the case is going to continue until tomorrow, so I get to leave school for that, too.
But then, this whole ugly mess is over. Hopefully.
I hate the looks that some people give me. Also, the people that say "aw, you're so lucky, you get to miss school and go to court." No. It's not lucky. At all. I would have an extra week of school in exchange for every court day that I have to go. Seriously.

Mood-wise, I'm in the dumps again. Court and social crap does that to you. Also, left my camera in the choir room. Joy!

My grades for semester 1 are all As and Bs, though. Yippee.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix A summary of my week. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22777222/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22777222/ Sat, 24 Jan 2009 08:28:49 PST -Finals
-Guy asked me out, then changed his mind less than a day later.

joy.
My grades are, as of now:
Dance final: 70% Semester grade: A-
Algebra 2 honors final: 90.4% Semester grade: A
English final: 105.4% Semester grade: B+
Honors Chemistry final: 86.3% Semester grade: B
Film Studies final not yet entered
World History final not yet entered
Drama final: 83.3% Semester grade: B
I should do my homework. lol.

my cat brought in a rat today, and my dad stepped on it. haha.
but I had to clean it up. :c

QUESTION FOR YOU ALL:
Would you prefer that I keep to posting literature on this account, or would it be alright if I posted my photography as well?
It's all I've been doing lately, and I feel kinda bad.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Moar updates, haha http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22653008/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22653008/ Sun, 18 Jan 2009 12:49:56 PST But point being!

Yesterday I cleaned out my room like there was no maÃ±ana. AND SUDDENLY, I moved in a real desk and a bed! The first time in years! It's amazing.
The desk is big enough for me to have all my computer stuff, a lamp, a phone, and my homework on. Plus, drawers! woo.
The bed is a bunk bed, with a bed on the top and a futon on the bottom. I slept in it last night, and atm it's a couch with my cat sleeping on it.
Futons are perfect in the way that, when you have a significant other over, you can cuddle when it's a couch, and "play checkers" when it's a bed.
Man, I wish I had someone to cuddle with.

Oh yeah, I wrote something, I'll post that up. I also have a compilation of eyes that I'd like to post, but GIMP is being frustrating.

I'm not random, I just have many thoughts.

KILLING IN THE NAME OF!

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Songs I think you should hear. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22354835/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22354835/ Fri, 02 Jan 2009 13:34:09 PST You definitely don't have to listen to them all, but I figured I'd reccomend.
bold = not safe for work/parents
italics = not so bad, but be cautious.

The Tide Â The Spill Canvas
Beautiful Inside Â Kerli
DonÂt Trust Me Â 3OH!3
Invader ZiM theme
ThereÂs a Fine, Fine Line Â Avenue Q
I Remember Â Stabbing Westward
Silent Hill theme
IÂm Broken Â Seether and Evanescence
The Avenue Q theme Â Avenue Q
Pon De Replay Â Rihanna
Samson Â Regina Spektor
Wake Up Â Rage Against the Machine
Still Alive Â Portal
Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off Â P!ATD
ItÂs Time to Dance Â P!ATD (itÂs the demo version of Time to Dance, I like it better)
The Diary Â Hollywood Undead
Tsuki no KAASU - Okina Reika (aka the Loveless opening theme)
Goodbye to You (acoustic) Â Michelle Branch
PippinÂs Song Â Lord of the Rings soundtrack
I Know I Know Â LetÂs Become Actors
Lips Like Morphine Â Kill Hannah
Love is Dead Â Kerli
Walking on Air Â Kerli
Creepshow Â Kerli
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind opening music Â Joe Hisaishi(!my favorite of all time!)
Bitches Â Hollywood Undead
Paradise Lost Â Hollywood Undead
City Â Hollywood Undead (f-bomb thrice)
This Love, This Hate Â Hollywood Undead
Young Â Hollywood Undead
Sell Your Soul Â Hollywood Undead
No 5 Â Hollywood Undead
Knife Called Lust Â Hollywood Undead
Time of Your Life Â Green Day
Iris Â The Goo Goo Dolls
We Belong Together Â Gavin DeGraw
Fruits Basket opening theme
Thnks fr th Mmrs Â Fall Out Boy
Bring Me to Life Â Evanescence
Webs We Weave Â Escape the Fate
GollumÂs Song - EmilÃana Torrini
End Title Â Flyleaf (from Nightmare Revisited)
Dreams Â The Cranberries
Sacrifice Â Christopher Beck
Close Your Eyes Â Christopher Beck
Lloyd, IÂm Ready to Be Heartbroken Â Camera Obscura
Every Heart Â BoA
Hate Me Â Blue October (f-bomb once...)
Oceania Â Bjork
Pagan Poetry Â Bjork
All is Full of Love Â Bjork
Slipped Away Â Avril Lavigne
NobodyÂs Home Â Avril Lavigne
DonÂt Tell Me Â Avril Lavigne
Naked Â Avril Lavigne
Tomorrow Â Avril Lavigne
IÂm With You Â Avril Lavigne
Catalyst Â Anna Nalick
Breathe Â Anna Nalick
9 Crimes - Daimen Rice
Stargate SG1 Theme

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Post-holiday update. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22342252/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22342252/ Thu, 01 Jan 2009 20:53:58 PST
Firstly, Christmas. It was okay. My cousins' dog hurt itself really badly, lost a lot of blood, and they had to take him to the emergency animal hospital, and they weren't sure he was gonna make it, so that put a damnper on our day. (he made it, though! c: )
Presents I recieved:
-Digital Camera
-$$$
-Sims 2 FreeTime and game guide
-Lotion
-iPod dock
Stuff I bought myself:
-iPod dock (sold first one so I could buy myself a better one)
-Sims 2 Apartment Life
-memory card for my camera
my bro let me install Spore (which he got for christmas) on my computer, so that was amusing for a day or so.

New Year's eve was a total bore. haha. Waited all day for a text I didn't get until it was too late, spent the night eating food and getting fat with my dad. Which was okay.
Today I watched the Rose Parade for a few hours, then I got bored, and ended up going to a party with my friend Andrew. Which was cool.

But auuuuugh my emotions are all adfasdkhf.
In like, the bad way.
But I don't want to seem like an attention ho. lol.
And sorry for not writing, I really tried to, but it sucked ballz.

feel free to message me if you want to help, though. ._.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix I GOT MY NEW PHONE! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22147099/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22147099/ Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:25:33 PST Sooooo, if you want me to have you in my contact list *COUGH COUGH TEAM AWESOME COUGH COUGH*, note/IM/whatever you feel like me your number! I'm desperate to call you gais again.

hokey dokey.
I think that's about it.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix A few words of advice. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22132389/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22132389/ Mon, 22 Dec 2008 23:59:55 PST
So apparently, my family isn't the only one like that. XD

Well, so far, nothing's gone terribly wrong with my new piercings, so that's a plus. And I was thinking of a few things I want to get out of my head. For first, a quote I made up a few minutes ago:
"Holidays just aren't as fun when you don't have somebody to kiss you senseless in front of the Christmas tree."
good times, good times.

Also, this:
How to get a girl in a few easy steps.

1. Find a girl. Preferably one who is insecure about herself, and is desperate for attention.
2. Befriend her. (Pretend to) listen to everything she tells you, tell her that "it's alright to dump." That it's "better to let it out than keep it inside."
3. Spew some bs about how what really matters is what's on the inside, and that you think girls these days are too thin.
4. Spew some bs on how, you hope you don't sound creepy, but you think that she's beautiful.
5. Pretend like you have multiple layers of feelings. Tell her you cry sometimes. That something tragic happened in your life, someone let you down.
6. This will lead to her gaining trust in you, as well as feelings of sympathy, which will most likely lead to a crush. When you're pretty sure she's at this point, ask her out and pretend to be embarrassed.

And, when the relationship is too much of a burden:
1. Let her know it was bs all along.
2. Find a skinny chick for a rebound.

I SEE PAST YOUR LIES AND TRICKERY! I HAVE BROKEN THE CODE!
Hear me roar.

Am I a bitch?

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix So I just self-pierced my ears. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22112244/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22112244/ Sun, 21 Dec 2008 22:44:47 PST It didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it did. But there is this sort of soft but hot stinging hurt afterward.

But, dude. I pierced my own ears. And didn't scream like a pansy. (or make any noise at all.)

Also, I ordered a phone offfa e-bay (after browsing through many bust ones), and ended up buying the same model as my old phone. haha. The supplier lives in California, too, so it should be here....soon-ish?

Thought I'd update y'all on the happenings of my life.
Things are starting to look a little brighter.
â¥

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix lost my fucking cell phone. AT THE MALL. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22092889/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/22092889/ Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:39:45 PST Haven't been on the computer in a few days.
iTunes got completely wiped, 'cause I moved all my documents over to my new hardrive.
real fucking shitloads of fun.

did I mention that everyone in my house (save my autistic brother, bless his soul) is PMSING/got the holiday blues/pissy in general?
Everyone's yelling at each other.

I'm crying.
My mom's crying.
Out of frustrationnn. Probably with each other. and life.

Life is excruciatingly frustrating.

so, yeah.
Give me your phone numbers. Else I won't have them.

I LOST IT AT THE MALL. THAT'S HOW BADLY THIS SUCKS BALLS.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix I am, so I MUST BE. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21955486/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21955486/ Fri, 12 Dec 2008 22:05:09 PST Screw Secret Santa. :/

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR (CRAZY) COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be rude and eat snails.
I'm GREEK, so i MUST have a huge family.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't... ]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Update-ish thingymajigger http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21920707/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21920707/ Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:49:02 PST
Also, I restarted my crocheting, and have found out that I get better business at my high school than I did back in middle school! XD Also, I'm charging prices that are more reasonable. (I used to sell them for $5, but that's pretty much how expensive yarn is, so I've raised it to $10, or 2 for $15). So that's been keeping me busy lately...yeah. XD

So far, I've made a total of $70, though I spent $20 of that on yarn. 8D My choir teacher is also buying 5 scarves from me for $50, so I'm really hyped. I'm making Kelsey her scarf atm, and it's taking me foreverrr, but it's all good because she prepaid me. XD

I made myself a website (for my little business)... you can view it here

You know what you artists should do for meeee? You should draw me. It would be cool. 8D

ALSO, TOO MUCH HOMEWORK, TOO LITTLE CONCENTRATION. SHIT FUCK.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Post Thanksgiving update. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21756820/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21756820/ Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:49:18 PST
Me: You're trying to distance yourself from your friends?
Him: Yeah.
Me: You know what really works?
Him: What?
Me: Throw your entire self into the relationship. Doesn't even have to be romantic, it works with friends, too. Just throw your whole self into the relationship, and they're guaranteed to leave you. It's worked every single time, for me.
Him: I like my way better.

Do you agree? Disagree? Not really care?

---

Thanksgiving wasn't much to hoot about, lots of food and family members. I completely wasted my vacation, too. And I haven't even written anything. *facepalm*

Also: I asked the person my questions, and they haven't talked to me since (or answered). Joy.

---

ALSO, THIS!
List 10 people you know:

1: Lindsay
2: Luci
3: Nicole
4: Dani
5: Kevin
6: Frederick
7: Chas
8: Julia
9: Kelley
10: Micheal (R., LOL)

1. 4(Dani) and 7(Chas) are at the mall. What are they shopping for?
Porn.

2. 8(Luci) is lost in the woods at night. What is the current mood and how do they find they're way out?
Her current mood is desperation, and they get out by Tony Stark flying in and saving her.

3. 1(Lindsay) gets a paper cut. What is the immediate reaction?
"....ouch." (aw crap, our #1s are the same. whoops.)

4. 9(Kelley), 5(Kevin), and 2(Luci) are stuck seated next to each other on a 10 hour flight and a boring movie is on. Where are they going and what do they do?
Kelley and Luci chill and do girl stuff, like talk about Heath Ledger, while Kevin sighs and misses his girlfriend. Then he does his Honors Chemistry homework.

5. There's one slice of pizza left. Who gets it: 3(Nicole) or 4(Dani)?
Nicole, because she's taller. (I dunnoe why, really, it's just the first thing that came to mind)

6. 6(Frederick) gets stuck on their math homework. Who on the list do they turn to for help?
Kelley, because she's the only person on the list he knows. XD

7. 9(Kelley) wants to move into an apartment, but the landlord has something against them. What do they do to get the apartment?
She has her boyfriend come over there and talk him into it.

8. If 10 (Micheal) was at McDonalds, what do they order?
Nothing, he's a health freak.

9. 5(Kevin), 3(Nicole), 2(Luci), and 8(Julia.) are waiting for the bus. Write the conversation they have until the bus arrives.
Nicole: So. The Team Awesome meeting last night.
Luci: It was sexy!
Julia: Oh baby.
Kevin: ...uh...
Luci: YOU SHOULD DATE HIM!

10. It's Halloween. What is 1(Lindsay) doing?
Raping me.
D8
(kidding, it's only rape if you don't like it.)

11. 7(Chas) just had they're bag stolen! What do they do?
BEAT THE MOFO UP.

12. There's an awesome dance bar downtown. 3(Nicole) is sitting at the bar. Does 6(Frederick) approach them or leave them be?
Leave her be, he doesn't believe in love. And he doesn't know her. XD

13. Christmas time! What did 2(Luci) get 8(Julia)?
Probably something from Final Fantasy. Or The Dark Knight.

14. 1(Lindsay), 5(Kevin), and 10(Micheal) are riding in a car when a country song comes on the radio. Where is everyone placed in the car, and what do they do about the country song?
Kevin is driving (and laughing), Lindsay is attempting to sing really loudly even though she doesn't know the words (for shits and giggles, of course), and Micheal is in the fetal position, covering his ears, muttering "you monsters."

15. 9(Kelley) is accused of murder. How to they prove themself innocent?
By showing how small she is, too small to kill someone.

16. 5(Kevin) is watching their favorite show, but 2(Luci) comes in and changes the channel! What does 5 do?
He shrugs, and wonders what the fuck he's doing hanging around these strangers.

17. 10(Micheal) has been called Emo. Whats the reaction?
He just shakes his head and walks away. (he doesn't talk much.)

18. A local gang just approached 3(Nicole). Whats the gang's business and what does 3 do?
The gang thinks that Nicole's pants are too tight, she takes off some shruiken earrings and tears the mofos to pieces.

19. 6(Frederick) comes home soaked. Whats the first thing they say to 4(Dani), who is staring questioningly?
"Uh."

20. 4(Dani) and 9(Kelley) are playing an online game. To win, they have to get past 5's(Kevin) gates, defeat 7(Chas) to collect a key, and finally beat 1(Lindsay).

- What class are 4... ]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Honestly http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21622160/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21622160/ Sat, 22 Nov 2008 22:00:04 PST How can I improve as a writer?
What would you like to see from me? (Longer stories, poems, etc)
Has my work become uninteresting?

I want tips as to how to become better at what I'm at.
I'm doing great in school (for once), but I also like pleasing the public. so!

one last cry for help:
I have so many questions.
How do I get them answered? Especially from people who...ah...don't like me.
I'm going to burst if I keep this inside.

---

TO MY SECRET SANTA:
I'd really like a drawing of my characters Shayla and Jess, from my stories Girls, Touch, and Perfect. A visual reference can be found in my scraps, but you can play around with them as you please.
Thank you!

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Halp? + WHAT THE CRAP http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21426406/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21426406/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:08:32 PST WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
it's amazing. D:

I'm still sick. T____T
I think it's just the average cold....been sneezing, coughing, sniffling, the works. My throat doesn't hurt, but boy, the pressure in my head is going to drive me CRAZY.
I've had lotsa tea over the past few days, and cough drops, to help the coughs, but they dun seem to be working. .___.
I took an anti-aspirin for the headaches, and a sudafed for the sinus crap, and I think they're starting to kick in. Whoopee. I want to be better by tomorrow, 'cause there's a Team Awesome meeting.
Also, my daily schedule since last Friday has basically been eat, do necessary stuff, get rid of my bodily waste, sleep, wake up and start the cycle over again. I'd almost go as far as to say I've been sleeping over half the day. T___T I feel like a fatass.

Anyone know how to get rid of my symptomps? Preferably, by tomorrow morning?
Symptoms as of now are:
Sniffles (w/ a stuffy nose)
headache
sinus pressure
coughing (not a sore throat, though.)
occasional sneezing (mostly at school)

Remembah, tea and cough drops and sleeping when I've felt like it (which I have a lot) I've already tried. x____x
Soup made me feel really good the first time I had it, but the idea of eating it again makes my stomach go "ew".
Sorry for the long journal.

TO MY SECRET SANTA:
I'd really like a drawing of my characters Shayla and Jess, from my stories Girls, Touch, and Perfect. A visual reference can be found in my scraps, but you can play around with them as you please.
Thank you!

tl;dr : I'm sick, and I have to keep the Secret Santa thing up until it's over.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Secret Santa http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21365654/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21365654/ Thu, 06 Nov 2008 22:22:08 PST
TO MY SECRET SANTA:
I'd really like a drawing of my characters Shayla and Jess, from my stories Girls, Touch, and Perfect. A visual reference can be found in my scraps, but you can play around with them as you please.
Thank you!

also, I'm sick. aifjsdakhf
Also, prop 8 passed. Fuck.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix OBAMA HAS WON! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21326243/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21326243/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 20:10:53 PST I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY!
â¥â¥â¥

Celebrate with meh! 8D

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Is it just me, or http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21324624/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21324624/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:54:37 PST I'm not active (posting deviations)?
O____o

Oh, well.
I HOPE OBAMA WINS
BECAUSE McCAIN IS GONNA DIE AND THEN PALIN WOULD BE PRESIDENT AND THAT WOULD BE SCARY.
;-;

Also, Prop 8 better not pass, or I'm going to shoot myself in the face.
That goes for prop 4, too. How the fuck is abortion going to stop sexual predators?!

anyways.

I need a cuddle buddy.
Also, someone with boobs bigger than mine?! It's possible! (shes sits across from me in English XD)

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix The Facts of Life http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21281606/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21281606/ Sun, 02 Nov 2008 11:03:42 PST Life
Death
Love (of any kind)
Sex
Masturbation
Deodorant
Nudity
Periods (for us ladies)

So why are we all so fucking stingy about it?
People may call me gross, and I know for sure that I make people uncomfortable, because I talk about these things very openly. And you know why? Because I know that they're normal things. The facts of life.
And yes, LOVE is LOVE, no matter the gender.

I want to know if I'm the only one who thinks this way.

_{also a fact, no two of my journals have the same name.}

ALSO, TO MY SECRET SANTA:
I'd really like a drawing of my characters Shayla and Jess, from my stories Girls, Touch, and Perfect. A visual reference can be found in my scraps, but you can play around with them as you please.
Thank you!

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Post-HalloweenUpdate http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21209506/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21209506/ Sat, 01 Nov 2008 10:37:18 PDT TanukiKyuubi's house, and ~tomriddle64 was the life of the party. What a man!

I need to stop kissing people I'm not going out with, man. I don't even feel anything anymore.

BUT I HAVE CANDY CANDY CANDY
AND IT'S RAINING
â¥â¥â¥â¥â¥

---

Here is a small section (out of 733 songs total) of my iTunes library:

1. Hurt Me - Kerli
2. I'm Like a Lawyer With the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off - Fall Out Boy
3. Move Along - All American Rejects
4. Wonka's Welcome Song - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
5. Lose Yourself - Eminem
6. It Feels Like Christmas - The Muppet Christmas Carol
7. They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard! - Erwin Beekveld
8. Inspector Gadget theme
9. Beautiful Disaster - Jon McLaughlin
10. What do you do with a BA in English? - Avenue Q
11. Welcome to Duloc - Shrek
12. Why Do You Want Him? - Green Day
13. I've Got a Golden Ticket - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
14. Losing Grip - Avril Lavigne
15. Emotionless - Good Charlotte

Congratulations on catching (almost) all of them! :D

P.S.
OXYCLEAN!!!

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Since when is Halloween in six days?! http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21159455/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21159455/ Sat, 25 Oct 2008 17:42:04 PDT

But hey! I'm back from Disneyland. And I took some picturessss. About 8 or so of them are in my deviations/scraps, and you can find the rest here.

Disneyland is pretty much the same as it was back when I went years ago (April does NOT count), except it seems a lot smaller, now. But hey! My first time at California Adventure!

Which, other than California Screaming and the Tower of Terror, is pretty lame. But hey, those rides are FUN. Especially California Screaming. I only recently (when we went to Six Flags for school) got the balls to start going on roller coasters, and oh boy. The Tower of Terror wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, which makes me think I can handle drops.

The Haunted Mansion was decked out for Nightmare Before Christmas. â¥â¥â¥ But the Jack and Sally costume people weren't there! >:c

Splash Mountain was.....wet. I'm pretty amazed that my electronics survived. Thunder Mountain and Matterhorn weren't nearly as scary as I remember them being. Space Mountain was cool. Haha.

A pretty neat thing did happen, though. In the line for the Nemo ride (which is NOT worth the wait), there's a concert going. I hear some guitar that sounds an awful lot like Pump It, and I say "NO WAY." And then, seconds later, I hear "huh...huh...HAAAAAAAAAAH!" (let it be known that I LOVE that song). So, to nobody's surprise, I join in singing with them. :D

The fireworks (which were delayed for forever and a day) were pretty neat, though. We got a really good seat. Also the pineapple freeze thing over by the Tiki Room is DELICIOUS. 8D If you go any time soon, get one.
I think that's it for my Anaheim tales.

I have way too many memories attached to songs. .___.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix I'MMA GOING TO DISNEYLAND! + stuff http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21080847/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21080847/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:52:52 PDT â¥â¥â¥â¥â¥â¥
I am so fucking stoked!
I get to spend Thursday and Friday there! hehehe
I'm so excited I can't think of anything else to say. o_o!

I wish I could buy the Monsters, Inc. soundtrack. ahhh. Limewire is shit when it comes to downloading it... ;_;

*douses self with inspiration juice*

edit
The inspiration juice is working, I'm on a rollll tonight. 8D
/edit

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix wat http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21022582/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/21022582/ Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:36:29 PDT She slapped my ass today. :0

Ohhh man is she hot.
But that's the only way I see her, lol. She's a nice person too, but I wouldn't date her or anything. d:

I have soooo many things I want to write, but no idea as to how to put them in words...alksfashfa
at least fall break starts after tomorrow. No school for 9 days! Woo.

-makes a quesedilla-

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20780164/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20780164/ Wed, 01 Oct 2008 16:21:31 PDT
I should have submitted 2 things by the end of today...anticipate.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix gah, I'm such a teenage girl. http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20608840/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20608840/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 19:41:04 PDT But lo and behold, she leaves for SanFran, and leaves the book behind. And since it is the last book in the series, after all, I kinda feel obligated to read it.

gahhhhhhhh
I am such a teenage girl! Being sucked into the whole Edward/Bella romance and everything. Even though their romance is completely improbable and Stephenie's ideas of vampires is all fucked up and grr.
I've become one of the unending amounts of mindless fangirls. x____x

BUT JACOB IS STILL 10X BETTER THAN EDWARD.
If Jacob was real, I'd steal him before Bella could even say "wat".
Bella is such an idiot.

Yeah.
I'm off to....do stuff.

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Are you my friend? :0 http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20541939/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20541939/ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 17:38:01 PDT Now take this quiz, haha.

[link]

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix You know, concerts have never been as fun http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20462019/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20462019/ Fri, 12 Sep 2008 20:30:56 PDT But that's probably because we ditched it to go make out for a bit.
oh well.

speaking of which,
I am sooooo lonely. ;___;
Last decent hug I got was from my ex at the school dance....my ex, for god's sakes.
I need a decent hug...or a cuddle....wah. *whines*

But I'm actually writing. Oh lordy.
Working on two right now, got another two in my head...roar.

*has concentration issues*

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix Why do I feel violated? http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20383199/ http://Carolyns-Mewmix.deviantart.com/journal/20383199/ Sun, 07 Sep 2008 21:26:32 PDT
---
So, I guess, you have to start with the past. Next door to us, we have these really nice neighbors, a couple that is kindof up in their age, who we've always trusted. Christine, the wife, was very kind, and would give us little presents. Randy, the husband, was a very handy guy, and if something broke or went wrong when my parents weren't home, she would tell us to get him over.

It just so happens that on this Saturday night, September the 6th, I'm home alone. My dad has been working in Sacramento since the month started, and wouldn't be home until the 10th. My mom and my brother were at a concert in the park, and since I was sick and had lost my voice (school dance, 'nuff said), I decided not to go.

So I'm sitting in my computer chair, in my room, listening to music, talking to my friends. My curtains are drawn, and the fan is on in the window. This is usually how it is in my room, because I heat up very easily. And this night, I'm wearing just a nightgown and undies, because I figure hey, I'm home alone, why not rest a bit?

Suddenly, through the window, I hear "I love you Carolyn.". It sounds like my neighbor. I can't say anything back, due to my voice being nonexistent. When I don't reply, he says it over and over again, and I begin to get scared. So I leave my room, and shut the door, and sit in the hallway, where it's impossible to see in from outside. I call my mom, but she can't hear me, a) because my voice is gone and b) because she's at a concert. She says "Shout yes if it's an emergency", and I shout it. Because hell, I'm scared.

She replies with a "SHIT" (my mom never swears around me), and I can hear her take off running. Shortly after, I hear the doorbell being rung, again and again and again. My dog starts barking, loudly, which he never does. Now I'm getting really freaked. My mom tells me to call 911, and I do. This turns out being very frustrating, partially because I'm sort of going into hysterics. I have my mom on the cell phone, and getting the house phone to call 911 required me going into my parents bedroom. From there, I hear the person calling my name again. I can't make out the rest of what he's saying, because I'm way too fucking scared to care.

So, the cops get there, and when I answer the door, I'm standing there in nothing but my nightgown (I was way too scared to go back in my room). They're cool with it, though, and they ask me to show them around the house, to see if someone's trying to creep around. Long story short, there's not. My mom comes home, and we collapse into each other's arms, and I really break into hysterics. oh boy.

In the end, it turns out that it was my neighbor, after all. He doesn't deny anything, including the fact that he had, in fact, been looking through my window (and not just that time). He's fucking 52, guys, fifty-two and married. Christ. This neighbor that we've always known and trusted, and then....this. It's sickening. (He got arrested for peeping, by the way, but was not thrown in jail. My mom's getting a restraining order tomorrow (Monday).)

Kinda makes me wonder what he's seen. What he's seen me do. If he's ever gotten off to a picture of me....god. just....-doesn't have a word-
Makes me wonder what my dad is thinking. What my neighbor's wife is thinking.
Yeah. It feels weird now, sitting here, at the very same computer desk, typing on the same computer. It's kindof...scary.
I stayed at my grandparent's house last night, hence the not being online. But I'm still here, for now.
My curtains are closed.

yeah.
if I hear his voice again, I'm going to throw up. I can't look at him. Much less myself.

-end

]]> ~Carolyns-Mewmix