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        <title>deviantART: by:Cecil475</title>
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        <pubDate>Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:27:02 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>Internet down</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/24621127/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/24621127/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 06 May 2009 15:51:07 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Lightning took out both the internet phone equipment and I will be without internet and phone for a bit. I'll be back in a few days..I hope. I will be able to come on and check my messages once in awhile<br /><br />Talk at you later!<br /><br /><br /> - Cecil<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Anthroandwererp Rules</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/22657736/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/22657736/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 18 Jan 2009 16:56:58 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ We do have rules here now...and they will be followed if you don't want to achieve the rank of Outcast<br /><br />1. Nothing that would offend anyone else...if you think it might...don't do it. <b><u><i>THIS MEANS NO SEXUAL ACTIONS.</i></u></b> Anyone doing so will be kicked from the room. Repeated offenses will result in a ban.<br /><br />2. Take it easy on the swearing...you can and will be outcast for it.<br /><br />3. If you want to fight with someone....solve it in an rp battle. don't disrupt the other rpers...you and your quarry will be outcast.<br /><br />4. If you show disrespect to Alphas, AssitantAlphas, or Freki.. you will be banned<br /><br />5. We are here to have a good time....lets keep it clean<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Posting a character<br /><br />Name<br />Age<br />Gender<br />Occupation(optional)<br />Appearance-this includes height weight, eye and hair/fur color... and outfit if it applies<br /><br />Race...This is self explanitory...it must be an anthro or were style char. Poke morphs are allowed^^. If your character can has multiple forms...please use one per RP, unless you have permission from no less than a Freki<br /><br />Weapons...be creative...don't say a knife or a sword. say what kind of sword there are several<br /><br />Special Abilities (optional)<br /><br />Short Bio...this is also optional. A characters bio can be changed depending on the RP situation. I think it a waste of brain power to think of a set bio for a char<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------<br />if you have an Idea for a topic, note me. http:\\cecil475.deviantart.com I am always open to suggestions<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Five times a charm.</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/21997742/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/21997742/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:25:05 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I finally passed my Math 060 class today. I made a 74 on my final exam,which wasn't bad. The 60 I had for my last test was brought up to a 72. I had mostly good grades for this semester, so I could afford one or two bad ones. My average in the class was about a 84. <br /><br />Well, I'm happy that I have gotten that over with. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /> Now on to something else.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Another character.</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/20295376/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/20295376/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:38:15 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ DECember (Cecci Darknight))<br />D.O.B.: May 20, 1994 <br />Age: 27 (As of 2021))<br />Gender: Female<br />Hair: Black<br />Eyes: Green<br />Race: Mouse anthro/human hybrid (No fur/ Caucasian skin tone))<br />Height: Six feet tall<br />Weight: 115lbs<br />Married to/Mated with: N/A<br />Children: N/A<br />Job: Wheelman, A driver for hire.<br /><br />An alt version of Cecci. Cecci's and DECember's profiles ate the same up to 2008. Cecci stayed in the illegal street racing circuit until 2014, when she retired, and started work as a driver for hire. As a street racer, she was a pain in the neck to law enforcement agents in the Raleigh area and made national headlines a few times, giving her a reputation in the criminal underworld as being 'uncatchable' which made getting jobs as a wheelman, easy.  The name DECember derives from her actual name. Cecci's full name is Cecci Elizabeth Darknight. Her initals, CED arranged backwards is DEC, the abbreviation  for the month, December.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
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          <item>
                <title>I thought we could make up like adults..maybe not.</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/18827047/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 13 Jun 2008 19:32:40 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So, today, I'm cleaning up and I come across Elasha's phone number. Some time ago we fell out of our friendship. I had fallen out of friendships before. Stuff happens, and eventually you make up. You aren't quite the friends that you were once was. I talked to one of those friends not too long ago, We would stop and say hi to one another every now and again. I think we talked for an hour or so I decided I'd try giving her a call. The last time I called was last year. I thought we'd talk and maybe, just maybe end the 'so called' hostilities against one another. After all, I want to try to get along.<br /><br />I over looked something, I think. When me and this guy talked last, a year had gone by. give or take a month maybe. It had been maybe four or five months since it ended. I was thinking at the time that we could talk it over like rational adults. I wasn't expecting miracles here, but I thought I'd try. Thats all you can do, right? So, I call and she answers. She hangs up once I respond (Hello?)) I call back and get the phone's answering machine. She either blocked the number or turned the phone off. So much for acting like rational adults. I can't say I didn't try. She put up 'ish Bye Bye.' under her name on her DA page. I guess she's leaving DeviantART. Oh well. <br /><br />I put some of her art up on my Photobucket. These were pictures she did for me. These were of some of my characters. There was one she did of the chat room, Metalcore. It was the only picture She did not do for me that I posted. I gave her credit for them as she drew them. I am not taking credit for someone's work. Good art. I think it should be seen.<br /><br />Again, Oh well, So much for trying. I know not to try again. I should have waited a year.<br /><br />Edit: Just an adder afterthought. I had spoke a bit of this person lately. I've had friendships fail, but they were with people I really call an Acquaintance. I mentioned her cause she was someone I really did consider to be a friend. The loss of this friendship has been a blow to me, and I will move on. It has helped me to change the way I behave on here, because of what happened between me and her. I have a friend that has a chat room on here and I mostly stay there, when I get on DA's chat servers, and I don't go anywhere else unless invited. I haven't been in my own in awhile. I  might be there too. Maybe it got to the point where she somehow thought my friendship to her was too much of an obligation. I'll be more careful with who I 'become friends' with here, and maybe this won't happen again. <br /><br />Other than that I am very happy for the friends I do have here, and I know when they have a problem with me, that they will address it with me and I'll correct it however I can.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Terra McClane</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/18741725/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/18741725/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 09 Jun 2008 03:42:09 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Name: Terra McClane<br />D.O.B.: June 05, 1908<br />Age: 100<br />Gender: Female<br />Hair: Blonde<br />Eyes: Amber<br />Race: Dragon anthro<br />Height: Seven feet tall<br />Weight: 209lbs<br />Spouse/Mated with: N/A<br />Children: N/A<br />Job: N/A<br />Resides: San Francisco, California, USA <br />              Vaxholm, Sweden <br />               Dual United States-Sweden citizenship<br /><br />Shout out to chili19. I love the avatar! Thanks!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>30 Character Profiles</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/18607285/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/18607285/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 01 Jun 2008 09:41:05 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Here, I have posted the profiles of the characters I use for RPing. Hard to believe I started out with four characters (Zelda,Cecil,Nigel,and Jason)) What I have here is the Base stats for these characters. They can be altered to fit another rp based on the situation or characters involved. The only characters not shown are Laura and Lillian's real parents, Kelly and Karen's Parents, and Gary Bates' wife due to lack of details. Some of these will be added to the full profiles when I get around to having them typed out. Other notible characters are owned by other people but their detailed profiles are not listed here. The list of names will get bigger when I mention them when I write their full profiles in <br /><br />So far: Kyle Kierkegard, belongs to <a href="http://nightshadewolf.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/n/i/nightshadewolf.jpg" width="50" height="50" alt=":iconnightshadewolf:" title="nightshadewolf"/></a> Nightshadewolf<br /><br /><br />Name: Zelda Elizabeth Peterson<br />D.O.B.: January 17, 1978<br />Age: 30<br />Gender: Female<br />Hair: Black<br />Eyes: Green<br />Race: Mouse anthro/Grey fur <br />Height: Four foot five<br />Weight: 110lbs<br />Married to/Mated with: Cecil Arris Darknight<br />Children: Cecci Darknight<br />              Laura Greene Darknight (Adopted))<br />              Lillian Greene Darknight (Adopted))<br />Job: National Enforcement Agency (NEA)) Dective<br />Resides: Rayford Hills, North Carolina<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Name: Cecil Arris Darknight<br />D.O.B.: November 16, 1977<br />Age: 31<br />Gender: Male<br />Hair: Black<br />Eyes: Blue<br />Race: Human/Caucasian<br />Height: Five foot six<br />Weight: 200lbs<br />Married to/Mated with: Zelda Elizabeth Peterson<br />Children: Cecci Darknight<br />              Laura Greene Darknight (Adopted))<br />              Lillian Greene Darknight (Adopted))<br />Job: National Enforcement Agency (NEA)) Dective<br />Resides: Rayford Hills, North Carolina<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Name: Cecillia 'Cecci' Elizabeth Darknight<br />D.O.B.: May 20, 1994<br />Age: 14 (Appears to be 16))<br />Gender: Female<br />Hair: Black<br />Eyes: Green<br />Race: Mouse anthro/human hybrid (No fur/ Caucasian skin tone)) <br />Height: Five feet tall<br />Weight: 105lbs<br />Married to/Mated with: Kyle Kierkegard (Boyfriend))<br />Children: N/A<br />Job: Mechanic at 'Danson and Darknight Auto Repair.' Part owner with Renn Danson <br />Resides: Rayford Hills, North Carolina<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Name: Laura Greene Darknight<br />D.O.B.: August 05, 1994 <br />Age: 14<br />Gender: Female<br />Hair: Black<br />Eyes: Brown<br />Race: Wolf anthro (Grey fur))<br />Height: Five feet tall<br />Weight: 125lbs<br />Married to/Mated with: N/A<br />Children: N/A<br />Job: N/A<br />Resides: Rayford Hills, North Carolina<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Name: Lillian Greene Darknight<br />D.O.B.: August 05, 1992 <br />Age: 16<br />Gender: Herm (Female appearance))<br />Hair: Black<br />Eyes: Brown<br />Race: Wolf anthro (Dark grey fur))<br />Height: Five foot five tall<br />Weight: 135lbs<br />Married to/Mated with: N/A<br />Children: N/A<br />Job: Pizza Delivery (Pizza Hut / Western Blvd, Raleigh N.C.))<br />Resides: Rayford Hills, North Carolina<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Name: John Townsend<br />D.O.B.: March 23, 1979<br />Age: 29<br />Gender: Male<br />Hair: Black<br />Eyes: Blue<br />Race: Rat (Grey fur))<br />Height: 6 foot 9<br />Weight: 250lbs<br />Married to/Mated with: Renn Danson  <br />Children: N/A<br />Job: Cameraman for WRAL-5 News<br />Resides: Rayford Hills, North Carolina<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Name: Renn Danson<br />D.O.B.: June 05, 1977 <br />Age: 31<br />Gender: Male<br />Hair: White<br />Eyes: Blue<br />Race: Skunk anthro (Black and grey fur))<br />Height: Five feet tall<br />Weight: 115lbs<br />Spouse/Mated with: John Townsend<br />Children: N/A<br />Job: Mechanic at 'Danson and Darknight Auto Repair.' Part owner with Cecci Darknight<br />Resides: Rayford Hills, North Carolina<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Name: Kelly Anderson<br />D.O.B.: May 30, 1987 <br />Age: 21<br />Gender: Female<br />Hair: Black<br />Eyes: Amber<br />Race: Cheetah anthro<br />Height: four foot eleven<br />Weight: 109lbs<br />Married to/Mated with: N/A<br />Children: N/A<br />Job: Private Investigator/Owner at/of 'City of Raleigh Investigations.'<br />Resides: Rayford Hills, North Carolina<br />----------------------------------... ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Someone hacked my MSN account</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/17762379/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/17762379/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:29:34 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ This is a warning to anyone who chats with me on MSN. Someone has hacked my MSN account. If you spoke with me on MSN recently, there is a chance you have not actually spoke with me but someone else using my MSN username and password. I apologize of my MSN hacker said things to any of you that was harmful or misleading.<br /><br />Look out here too in case someone has hacked me here. Thanks to DA user 'Chili19' for warning me about this.<br /><br />Sorry.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/17762224/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/17762224/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:07:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I'M BACK!!!</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/17283325/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/17283325/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 11 Mar 2008 08:36:53 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hello everyone.<br /><br />It has been approximate one month since I had been banned from Deviantart. I understand what I did was wrong. I want to get on with chatting and RP'ing with my friends, and posting artwork, now that I have a more reliable way to scan them. I do not want, nor desire any trouble.<br /><br />In the future, if someone wants to break off a friendship with me, all I ask is that you let me know, and if possible, a reason why. Having another friend erect another chatroom, and then using it to alienate themselves from me is rude, and immature I admit what I did was also immature. Things are different now. I have to know and to reconize the signs, so this does not happen again. I'll see to it.<br /><br />I'd like to thank the people who asked about me during my ban. It meant a lot to me.  I also want to thank the DA Admin who gave me another chance. The last thing I was told was "Don't waste this opportunity." I don't plan on it. I didn't like being banned, and I sure won't do anything to get my account banned again. It was maybe a month, but it felt like a year. Next time will be 'it' as they say.<br /><br />Thank you again, for this chance. I will not abuse it.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I have no time for drama, unless it's CSI</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/16775762/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/16775762/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 07 Feb 2008 19:22:40 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Seriously.<br /><br />This year, for me went off to a rocky start, both personally and academically.  I started school, without books. It was fine for about a week and a half and soon after needed them. I was able to get them roughly around the 17th of January. I have three classes. I have Math, English, and Computer Information Systems. Math is a subject I am bad at. The only one of the three I find difficult. In English, one of my problems is my grammar. I will consider writing in this blog an English assignment, to practice my writing, or in this case, typing. Computer Information Systems is a fun class. IÂm always learning things about computers, that I didnÂt know before.  I did my first math test on Friday. While, I donÂt expect anything great from the results, the remaining ones will have to be a lot better. My next English assignment will be writing instructions on how to upgrade your computer, or actually to upgrade your memory.  <br /><br />IÂm still trying to slip into a schedule, so things will be a little smoother. I still want to chat and RP. I will still be CecilsRProom, and Anthroandwererp. The only private room IÂll be in if anyone does a /whois search on me will be Crazyinviteonly. But I should still be reachable by notes and other rooms, like the other two I mentioned before. The catch here is, IÂll only be in chat during the weekend. IÂll be too busy otherwise. I will be on IM as well. IÂll be on them throughout the week, but I wonÂt be as responsive. Sorry. Note me for the info as I donÂt just hand it over anymore. IÂm changing how I do my user page now.<br /><br />A friendship I had with someone here for nearly seven months went sour recently. It hurts quite a bit to think of it. She and I have a friend. We would meet in a chat room on the late afternoons of the week and most of Sunday chatting and rping. This friend around the last five days of 2007 created a private chat room. With the exception of maybe three or four days of January, she has been making a beeline into this new chat room. She suddenly, is busy. Does not feel like talking. Yet she isnÂt enough for this other person. We never talk anymore. When we do she is yelling at me like I drove a pickup into her living room and killed her dog in the process. She doesnÂt ever get on MSN anymore. She acts like chatting with me, her friend is an ÂobligationÂ I had started wondering if our friendship was an ÂobligationÂ to her as well. I donÂt like leaving notes, and make a point not do that often. I asked her if we were still friends and she never gave me a straight answer. A roommate and friend told me that my friendship, with this person was over and she didnÂt have the nerve to tell me. She also told me that when I first met her she was hiding from someone. So, I assume sheÂs doing the same to me. As I said, She doesnÂt tell me anything to me anymore. ItÂs too much of an Âobligation.Â I noted my goodbyes to her. Seven months of friendship leads to a locked door. She used me and threw me away. I donÂt know whatÂs going on and right now I donÂt care to know. We had quit talking since 12/25/2007. Every time I thought it was getting better it got worse.  *Sighs* I guess Christmas Day holds new meaning for me now. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/letters/=p.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":P" title=":P (Lick)" /> <br /><br />I hate saying goodbye to someone I've been friends with for seven months. It's either that or part of me likes being walked on. You can't just forget about the past seven months you have known someone. That's over half a year. I said some pretty rude things. She did too in turn. Maybe one day we can patch things up. But how can you <br />do that, If you don't talk? <br /><br />Despite What I said Elasha, I don't want to say Goodbye. It's all up to you now. I give up.<br /><br />Moving right along, IÂm on XBOX Live now. And since I only have one Internet cable, and two devices to choose from, I can only be online with only one device at a time. That will eat more time I have chatting and stuff. <br /><br />Well itÂs my bedtime and IÂll post more stuff tomorrow sometime.  Maybe my impressions of The movie ÂCloverfield.Â  Has anyone seen it yet? I hear there were problems with motion sickness. So if you go see it make sure you keep that in mind for now<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>CecilsRProom</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/16233940/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/16233940/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 03 Jan 2008 02:31:34 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Wow, Has it really been about seven months since I updated this thing? <br />
<br />
I guess so. Dang..<br />
<br />
I created this rp room a few months back, along with a few others. It's going to be one of those places I'm going to be in if anyone wants to chat or rp with me. <br />
<br />
I'm going to stick to two or three rooms for the time being. <br />
'CecilsRProom' will be one.<br />
'Anthroandwererp' will be another.<br />
I might be in 'RPDream' every now and then.<br />
<br />
I might pop onto a few other rooms every now and then. I won't be there as often. You will have a better chance at finding me at 'RPDream' than these. But the other two are going to be a sure bet. I might not be in, But I'm either not there or if I am I will have an away message up saying otherwise. 'Anthroandwererp' Isn't my room. But it belongs to my good friend Nightshadewolf. I just hang there. My two other rooms are 'CecilandSirensroom' and 'RatPackRP' They are private rooms and my friends are allowed in them. But I won't be in them very often. <br />
<br />
I'm aware that DeviantART, while it is a great site, It does not alert you to when your friends are on. So, If you want to do a /whois search to see where I am, Feel free. But Like I said I'll be in the rooms listed above, That will mostly be it.<br />
<br />
You can also find me on the messengers as well.<br />
<br />
I have college to deal with soon, I won't be available to rp much. So, that is one of the reasons I'm doing this. And a friend and I need some time apart. I won't have time to be chasing down any of my friends to say 'hi'. Most of them will have to come to me. It will be a welcome change, believe me. Chasing down friends to chat with them can be time consuming, and painful <br />
<br />
Anyways, have a happy 2008!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Roleplay Rules</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/13255018/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/13255018/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 07 Jun 2007 16:37:39 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Rules for roleplaying with me for on and off DA.<br />
<br />
<br />
1. I'm do mostly online rp's. I can try paragraph roleplaying if you want.But be known thet I'm new ay this still as everyone is at one time or another. If this is not ok with you then don't rp with me. but dont make ruse and personal comments about it. A simple 'no thank you' will suffice.<br />
<br />
2. If you are having a problem with something I'm doing in the rp then please let me know, so I can fix it. It's hard to do that if you telling others and not me. Your opinion matters to me so let me know.<br />
<br />
3. If you have to leave the keyboard for any minor reason please type BRB before doing so. So I wont keep waiting for your post. I can wait for a post up to an hour and thirty minutes on a BRB. And up to ten minutes above that.If you are going to be more than 1 hour and thirty minutes and you know it then say BBL before leaving.<br />
<br />
Some examples: <br />
<br />
1. Running off to your friend's house without telling the person you are chatting or rping with that you are doing so,<br />
<br />
2. Saying BRB and then running off to your friend's house for about or up ot ten hours.<br />
<br />
The bottom line is you need to let me know what it is you are doing So I will know what to do.Doing this on a continueious basis can lose you friends and can make me not want to chat or roleplay with you. <br />
<br />
I have a good friend who has started this thing with this, and dispite that she's a good friend of mine she will do the things I mentioned above. She has done the examples that I have posted and other alterations of them at one point or another. And It is something I am getting really fed up with it.<br />
<br />
Well thats all for the rules/guidelines/rant<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I have a problem.</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/12870319/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/12870319/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 08 May 2007 05:45:11 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I have a problem.<br />
<br />
Recently, I have gotten to the point where I believe I upset my friends to the point of cutting me off or not wanting to have anything to do with me anymore. Sometimes both. I start worrying over little things. Things that are not worth worring over. But I get so scared sometimes. It eats away at me untill I try to fix it. untill the The feeling I have just eat away at me.<br />
<br />
I have a paranoia that If I can't get under control I will end up losing my friends either cut me off ar Not have anything to do with me. Today...I upset a friend of mine. I'm still waiting for him to come on so I can chat with him. And this guilt/worry/paranoia overrides any rational feelings I have.And the only way to get it to stop is to talk to the person I've hurt. Even if that person is too busy to speak with me. But..I forced myself on him and now he might not login to Yahoo to talk to me about it later, I am waiting..for as long as it takes. I don't care about family, friends or myself . I am waiting here at 2:40 am waiting for him to log on. And I can't sleep untill we talk. And if we don't...well then I won't sleep. Don't get me wrong..I'm tired as hell. I could lie down on this floor and pass out. My one-track mind wont let me. <br />
<br />
I don't know whats wrong with me.why I end up feeling this way.but I do..But it's time I said something about it. And I just have a feeling that I will lose everyone I care about over these feelings of paranoia I have.<br />
<br />
Guys....<br />
I'm so sorry.<br />
Don't cut me off.<br />
Don't leave me.<br />
I will get better.<br />
I just need help.<br />
<br />
Thank you.<br />
<br />
 - Cecil475<br />
<br />
Update - He did log on to Yahoo afterwards. somewhere close to 4am. Hide-Kyoshiro is the name of the person in question He wasn't angry at me. which I was glad to hear. He understood the problems I had.We talked for a little over an hour. About my problem and what had happened. He's a cool guy who hangs out with all these cool people who rp paragraphs to pages a post but still finds time to chat with me. He's a cool guy and I enjoy talking with him. His friend miss-italiano believes I'm stalking him. Which isn't true. I have told her "He's just a friend I chat with in the morning."  but she doesn't care. but what does she know? She's the type who says and does things and puts on a smile and looks cute and says "We're girls. thats what we do" I told my girlfriend and she said "That's bullshit. I'm a girl and I do nothing of the sort"<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
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                <title>Hi</title>
                <link>http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/12065951/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Cecil475.deviantart.com/journal/12065951/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Mar 2007 10:46:23 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ First journal entry.<br />
<br />
I'm Cecil475 (or Warren as the title implies) <br />
I do mostly furry (or anthro) artwork. Or however you like to call it.  Untill recently after visiting another DeviantART page I have been inspired to re-design a furry character I own and trying to draw more often and try to get better at drawing in general. I have several drawing projects in the works. I have some posted already that needs work done to them. A fanfiction and a fanart piece in the works. A full plate and I don't own a (working) scanner. Needless to say unless it's a piece of art I have scanned recently I wont be updating the art for a while. I am still working on the pictures I have and will re-post them at a later date. <br />
<br />
 - Warren<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>*Cecil475</author>
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