http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Che-Gue-Petey&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Che-Gue-Petey en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 02:11:42 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/28587408/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/28587408/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:28:45 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/27573704/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/27573704/ Sun, 04 Oct 2009 08:29:02 PDT
[link]

This shot was complete natural light. It was a serious challenge, but I am rather satisfied with the results. the only photoshopping was the 8X10 crop requested by the customer, the sepia toning, and the scratches and stains. the image itself is untweaked in terms of exposure, contrast etc.

I abhor artificial lighting. at most I might use a scrim, and maybe a single speedlight...maybe, but probably not. I find that working with only the light which nature provides is a demanding and rewarding philosophy. I don't always get it right, but when I do, the results are good.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/27231997/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/27231997/ Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:02:29 PDT
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/25992299/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/25992299/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 18:56:33 PDT It isn't so bad when I'm angry about it. The anger keeps me warm. I don't focus on the memories when I'm angry. Depression is simply anger without enthusiasm. When the heat of the anger burns itself out, you are left with the ashes of a soul. There is no way to stop the memories when the anger is gone. There is no way to remember that those memories were from good times. You swim in the memories and all you know is that you will never make new memories with this person. Those memories are over. With the depression, that is all you see in the end: no new memories.
I hate this feeling.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23569643/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23569643/ Sat, 07 Mar 2009 07:04:16 PST
You are not Ansel Adams

Neither are you Herb Ritz

Automatic Cameras - Aren't

Auto Focus - won't

No photo assignment remains unchanged after the first day of shooting

If a photo shoot goes too smoothly, then the data will be corrupted

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid

Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when everyone is watching

The most critical memory card gets magnetized

Photo Assistants are essential, they give photographers someone to yell at

The one item (batteries, film, electrical outlets and etc.) you need is always in short supply

Interchangeable parts aren't

Weather never cooperates

Everything always works in your home, everything always fails on location

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism

The newest and least experienced photographer will usually win the Pulitzer

There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't

No photojournalist is well dressed

No well dressed photographer is a photojournalist

Professional photographers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs

shots of children only happen at two times:
-when the kids are ready
-when you aren't ready

client Intelligence is a contradiction

There is no such thing as a perfect shoot

The important things are always simple

The simple things are always hard

Flashes will fail as soon as you need them

A clean (and dry) camera is a magnet for dust, mud and moisture

Photo experience is something you never get until just after you need it

The self-importance of a client is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy

The lens that falls is always the most expensive.

when you drop a lens cap, the inside part always lands face down in the mud.

Your batteries will always go dead or you will need to swap memory cards at the least opportune moment.

Lenses are attracted back to their source - hard rocks.
Corollary:
The more expensive the lens, the greater the attraction.

Safelights - aren't.

The greater a photographer's excitement, the greater its chance of fogging film, scratching prints, and deleting files.

The success of an assignment is inversely proportional to the product of its importance and the number of people watching.

Strobes only explode when lots of people are watching.
Corollary:
Strobes only work when there is nobody else to see.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23543309/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23543309/ Thu, 05 Mar 2009 15:59:50 PST [link]

Speaking of repatriation of cultural icons to their cultural homes, here is a great story of how the system can and should work. While the government whined and moaned at the auction house, a private citizen steps up and buys the artifacts with the intention of repatriation. See, SEE...IM NOT CRAZY! Hey, China, ya know those bronzes getting auctioned that ya'll want so badly? THIS is how you get them back. If a government representative can't buy 'em with "company money," then one of your new wealthy class individuals should step up and buy them to repatriate them. you need to learn to PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS!

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23529520/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23529520/ Wed, 04 Mar 2009 18:17:43 PST
[link]rovider=rss
ok, robbing the elderly is low to begin with. What kind of pathetic wuss robs geriatrics. seriously. Now what I really want to know about is, why did the dude steal the toilet paper?

[link]
Um...okay...I guess the tooth fairy may be real.

[link]
ok, rule 1: DO NOT TAUNT THE POLICE. you are not being brave or macho or anything like that. you are being a total fucktard, because if you piss the cops off before they even catch you, they arent gonna be to gentle when they do catch you.

[link]
What really really worries me about this one is actually the title of the article. Please, dont try to be witty.

[link]
Anything, and I mean just about anything that happens in Utah is bound to leave even those only marginally mentally stable scratching their heads.

[link]
Some things would only happen in the united states. This, sadly, is one of them.

[link]
ok, I have always wondered why the hell they cant easily exclude people who are exempt from jury duty. You know, I testified in a capital murder trial. Face it, I am not someone who winds up in a jury. You'd think that they would be able to make a note or something. Same with 108 year old women. Granted, I think it might be entertaining to see a 108 year old woman in a jury, especially when she screams out "Off With His Head!"

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23510736/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23510736/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 16:21:00 PST
1) [link]
Far be it from me to deride other people's beliefs, and doctrinal applications of their cute little superstitions. That isn't my game. I do have to wonder when people are accepting the theology of 11 year olds with 20 seat churches. Who the hell is doing these ordinations? Face it, if you're 11 and a preacher...you're one step away from a kid with a cheesy magic kit doing shows for a quarter in his garage.

2) [link]
Many of us received the admonition that guns aren't toys when we were growing up. That is a good thing to learn. Guns are tools, not toys; and much like a chop saw or an axe or a chainsaw, a gun can be damned dangerous if you play with it like a toy. Well hete is a couple of F-staters who have also shown us that stupid people shouldn't be allowed around dangerous tools either. To bad he only shot himself in the foot, if he had shot himself in the crotch then he wouldn't have been able to pollute the gene pool.

3) [link]
Wow...I am honestly speechless on this one. Not really, but almost. I am praying that this is a joke, because if it isn't then the world has been officially over run by pussies.

4) [link]
Ok, I don't know if this should be marked as news that should have a punchline or if this should be marked in the category of "oh the irony."

5) [link]
I guess if you are a perv, honesty is not the best policy. serves him right.

6) [link]
OK, for anyone paying attention there WERE riots in Sichuan province. Remember kids, if its in the news, it stands a 50/50 chance of being utter BS. If that media is state controlled, there is a 100% chance of what you are reading being BS.

7) [link]
Ok, i love the simpsons as much as anyone else. They have provided an insightful mirror of american society since the days of Reagan. This article, though makes me wonder what we have to look forward as a culture.

8) [link]
Finally we have this. At least the Brits aren't far behind the US when it comes to a vapid obsession with pop culture. Yes, the Beatles were an amazing band who caused music to grow in new ways, and who enriched the world's cultural heritage. A masters degree in the Beatles, though, may be a little bit much. what is next, a PhD in Black Sabbath?

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23490621/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23490621/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:23:49 PST
1) [link]
Apparently neither cricket nor golf originated in the UK. No, the national pasttimes of the UK are actually...Belgian! Anyone who has watched any amount of British comedy know that to them, "Belgium" is a one word joke. Seriously. Britain views Belgium as where they fight when the Germans are showing their arses. I guess they may have to rethink this view.

More pressingly...why are people wasting money researching the history of things like cricket and golf? Aren't these games? What, exactly is the academic value of knowing the history of cricket? Isn't there anything of greater value you could be researching?

2) [link]
The CIA destroyed 92 interview tapes. Wow. No kidding? You know what folks, these guys are OUR thugs, spies, and analysts. I'm not condoning their behaviour, but if they are OUR thugs, I'm actually kind of relieved to know that they would destroy damning evidence. It shows that they are starting to think again. Who knows, maybe in a few years we may actually have a decent intelligence agency again. after that we can worry about ethics. Lets just work on getting their brains going again.

3) [link]
So Christie's is auctioning off two bronzes taken from the Chinese emperor's palace in Beijing during the Opium Wars. OK, a lil' history lesson here: the Opium Wars weren't really wars, sort of in the same way that the Operation Desert Storm wasn't really a war. You see, a "war" implies that two armies are fighting. The Opium Wars were more like one army slaughtering the other. They should have been called the Opium Ass Kickings. Add to this the fact that these wars were in the same era as the American Civil War, and you start to realize that the rules we now have on war weren't in place. That is just history. The way I see it, those bronzes are spoils of war, no more, no less. Too bad. That's history. Now I'm all for repatriating cultural objets d'arte which were illegally acquired. But when they were legally acquired (we'll grandfather in spoils of war,) if you, as a government want'em, do like anyone else, and buy them. It's called free market, and as long as people want things, the free market economy will always survive in some way shape or form.

Anyway, some Chinese guy figures that the most effective protest he can manage, is to drive the bidding up, win the bid, and then say he cant pay. This is not to many steps up from putting dog crap in a bag, setting it on fire, and ringing the bell. A+ for intention, F for execution.

Moving on from the international news, lets head on to some local news,

4) [link]
I really dont know what to say about this, except that I am never, ever going back to Ohio.

5) [link]
A cuss free week in Calfornia? Wow, talk about a 15 year old with delusions of grandeur. I wonder how this will go over in South Central, or Long Beach, or Watts?

6) [link]
Have you ever wondered how smart the employees at KFC are? This is how smart.

Finally, I bring you the one that is not for the faint hearted. I warned you, this one is sick.
7) [link]
Now, the truly funny thing about this is that I did some research, and discovered that Mr. Douglas' "proclivities" were discovered when he was accused of murder after he had violated a corpse at the morgue before it was autopsied.




ON A LIGHTER NOTE

I finally got around to filtering my gallery down to just 8 pages. it all now broken up into topical collections.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23368519/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23368519/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 17:28:53 PST
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]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23153897/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23153897/ Thu, 12 Feb 2009 10:38:16 PST
[link]

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23106570/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23106570/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:32:27 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23084548/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/23084548/ Sun, 08 Feb 2009 14:27:40 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22937272/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22937272/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 07:14:14 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22889162/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22889162/ Thu, 29 Jan 2009 16:25:54 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22844749/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22844749/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:15:07 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22830219/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22830219/ Mon, 26 Jan 2009 18:12:09 PST [link]

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22800760/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22800760/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 10:44:12 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22622237/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22622237/ Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:15:20 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22620091/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22620091/ Fri, 16 Jan 2009 18:15:57 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22437987/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22437987/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 16:40:20 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22436855/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22436855/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:46:48 PST While I'm on the subject of innocent civilians, doesn't Israel have mandatory conscription? So, if you wanna get technical, the only innocents in Israel are children. Whether active duty or reserve, if you are military personel, then you are a target. face it, at the end of the day, you are a paid target.
So, in closing I'd like to say to the country of Israel: Stop being fuckheads. Dont kill children. Also, dont exaggerate how innocent civilians are being killed by palestinian rockets.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22388569/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22388569/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 07:18:21 PST Palestinians havent gotten the shaft big time. It really isnt my place to comment on who is right and who is wrong and to what degree. Maybe they could act alittle more adult about the whole Israel/palestine/my land/your landthing, but really, I'm not taking any sides here. One observation whichI cannot help making is this:

have you ever seen a small kid picking on a big kid over and over and
over? No matter how patient the big kid is, eventually the big kid is
gonna snap, and pummel the living shit out of the little kid. after
this the little kid goes and cries to mommy and daddy, or any other
authority figure and blames the big kid while claiming innocence. Do
you see where I'm going? If you even tacitly condone the firing of
rockets (by definition, an UNGUIDED munition which stand a greater chance of killing innocent civilians than damaging military targets) into Israel, you have
only yourself to blame for what happens. Don't demand a UN enforced
ceasefire, unless you want a foreign coalition military policing your
streets and enforcing martial law. You shot the rockets, or didnt speak
out against them being shot, or provided support for the men firing the
rockets, or cheered the men firing the rockets. You're getting what
comes from screwing with a country with a more powerful military than
yours. It doesnt matter how justified your cause, you dont screw with
someone who has bigger guns than you do. Also, hypocrisy isnt the best way to convince the world that you are in the right

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22371942/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22371942/ Sat, 03 Jan 2009 10:59:29 PST
Bastards on parade

I've lost all the time that I have in this world
I spent it unwisely. Unwisely you see
And I can't get it back
And I can't move forward
I'm broken and I'm empty
It's over for me

If I could undo all the wrongs that I've caused
Fall to my knees pray for swiftness and just
For I'm just a fool
A fool driven to dust
And the world ain't gonna change for me

So give me one more chance to prove these problems and frustrations
aren't just manifest in memories we're destined to repeat
A second chance to prove I know right from wrong
I swear I'll do things different but can't promise to be strong

[Chorus:]
So come on all you losers, you bastards and cheats
Vagrants and barflies down on the streets
Follow this path to salvation vindication awaits
We're marching on East Broadway streets tonight

If you can look into this old face and try to see the young man
I swear I once was pretty, not the monster you now see
But I squandered all my chances
Lost my faith and took for granted
This life and precious one chance the whirlwind I'll reap

If I could undo all the wrongs that I've caused
Fall to my knees pray for swiftness and just
For I'm just a fool
A fool driven to dust
And the world ain't gonna change for me

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22337185/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22337185/ Thu, 01 Jan 2009 16:34:07 PST And look at the mes I'm in-
A broken nose and a broken heart,
An empty bottle of gin
Well I sit and I pray
In my broken down Chevrolet-
While I'm singin' to myself
There's got to be another way
[Chorus:]
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain
Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well I've searched and I've searched
To find the perfect life-
A brand new car and a brand new suit
I even got me a little wife-
But wherever I have gone
I was sure to find myself there-
You can run all your life
But not go anywhere
[Chorus]
Well I'll pass the bar on the way
To my dingy hotel room-
I spent all my money
Been drinkin' since half past noon-
I'll wake there in the mornin'
Or maybe in the county jail-
Times are hard getting harder
I'm born to lose and destined to fail-
[Chorus]

need i say more

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22265521/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22265521/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:26:40 PST Then came the Offsping. now dont get me wrong, the offspring are all smart guys, and they had some seriously catchy music. But they were the opening of a floodgate of bands which took a vibrant and valid counter culture and debased it for commercial success. Green Day, Blink 182, Sum 41, Good Charlotte and their ilk are musical incubi, sent to suck all the life, soul and power out of punk rock. I mean come on kids, punk was all about ANTI-COMMERCIALISM. How in fuck's name can you maintain even the facade of punk rock legitimacy when your music can be heard on any clear channel radio station? How can you claim to be anti-commercial when your albums are produced by a big name label and have all the slick production value of a hip hop album? the simple answer is you can't.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22222145/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/22222145/ Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:49:30 PST
Now, onto my rant: rap/hip hop. Living in the Atlanta metro area I am unfortunately bombarded by rap and hip hop. now, i am a fairly open minded guy. I never bash anything outright without knowing that there is a reason for bashing. Get ready you two (my loyal readers,) because here comes the BFH (Big Frickin Hammer.) Now that I have listened to enough rap and hip hop, i have the following problems:
1) if youre gonna call it music...PLAY SOME REAL INSTRUMENTS! currently hip hop is nothing more than a poorly disguised rip off of 1950's coffe house beat poetry. i dont care how many vocal effects you throw in, or how many computer created beats and samples you throw in, it is still just poetry recited to a beat. Call me a traditionalist, but music implies actual singing and the playing of instruments.

2) I've spoken to a lot of hip hop musicians and rappers. Not a single one says a thing about the insatiable drive to create, the need to communicate and share one's own experiences, or the joy of creation when asked about why they do what they do. The universal answer is "to make money." once again, you can call me a traditionalist mired in the past all you want, but if your highest aspiration is to become a corporate music whore, then you are off the artistic roll call...permanently. This is not a theory, its not a matter of opinion. it is a fact and i can prove it in 5 minutes with some scrap paper and an etch-a-sketch. I prefer my music to be made by artists.

3) I am something of an elitist. Sorry, i prefer smart people. So, when an aspiring rapper tried telling me that rap has cornered the market on word play, metaphor and figurative language, i had to pull up a chair. its easier to not fall on your ass while laughing that way. Have any of you read any rap or hip hop lyrics? They are written on a 5th grade level by and large. Put 90% of hip hop up against Pearl Jam or the Doors, or John Prine, or the Pixies, or the Toadies or any of a hundred other bands i can list, and the hip hop lyrics seem...primitive. Guess im a snob for liking music which makes me think AND feel.

4) This is my other BIG complaint about rap and hip hop. STOP STEALING FROM OTHER PEOPLE. I mean the simplistic lyrics and lack of real instruments I can somewhat overlook, or at least swallow down my bile. The theft of others music is what really gets me along with the corporate whore aspirations. Be original for feck's sake. Come up with your own damned sounds. dont go ripping off guitar riffs and song intros, etc. from the Clash, or Ozzy, or Zeppelin or anybody else, unless youre gonna give them credit. Bet ya'll didnt know that there are no less than 3 rap or hip hop "songs" which have ripped off the intro to "Straight to Hell" by the Clash, on the radio right now. I wonder if the estate of Johnny Strummer is making any royalties. Probably not. Dont tell me your "music" is all about creativity and self expression when you cant even come up with your own music consistently. and dont even give me crap about "what about cover songs?" there is a huge difference between an homage to a band which influenced your life, and just blatantly taking something that sounds cool.

5) My final problem with hip hop and rap "music" is the radio stations which play it. Are they all owned by clear channel? every single rap/hip hop station ive heard seems to have a one and one half to three hour playlist on repeat. At least they provide me with irony to laugh at. So many of these radio stations bill themselves as having the "best variety." someone explain to me how a repeating playlist offers any variety. ive turned the question over in my head for a while now, and all it does is make my head hurt.

Oh, and I wonder...does the rapper Nelly realize that his showbiz name is also common derogatory slang for an effeminate homosexual? How long till we have a rapper named "Nancy Boy"?

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21976980/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21976980/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 08:58:54 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21960994/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21960994/ Sat, 13 Dec 2008 09:28:18 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21803077/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21803077/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:40:38 PST
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21693312/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21693312/ Thu, 27 Nov 2008 06:48:30 PST I didn't have much interest in sports or school elections.
And in class I dreamed all day,
Of a rock 'n' roll weekend

And the girl in the front of the room,
So close yet so far y'know she never seemed to ntice
That this silly schoolboy crush
Wasn't just pretend.

CHORUS
Life goes by so fast
You only want to do what you think is right.
Close your eyes and then it's past;
Story of my life

And I went down my old neighborhood
The faces have all changed there's no one left to talk to
And the pool hall I loved as a kid
Is now a Seven Eleven

I went downtown to look for a job
I had no training, no experience to speak of.
I looked at the holes in my jeans
And turned and headed back.

CHORUS

Good times come and good times go,
I only wish the good times would last a little longer.
I think about the good times we had
And why they had to end.

So I sit at the edge of my bed
I strum my guitar and I sing an outlaw love song.
Wonerin' 'bout what you're doin' now
And when you're comin' back.

CHORUS

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21059538/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/21059538/ Sun, 19 Oct 2008 08:26:19 PDT
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/20700306/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/20700306/ Sat, 27 Sep 2008 07:23:44 PDT
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/19803597/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/19803597/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 06:51:22 PDT
"The truth? I will tell you of the truth, for the truth you must not stand, for the truth you must sit in jail and rot." - Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/18332543/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/18332543/ Thu, 15 May 2008 07:37:53 PDT
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/18315900/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/18315900/ Wed, 14 May 2008 05:46:08 PDT
]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17827700/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17827700/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 08:14:54 PDT [link] journal and decided to fill in my own answers

If I were a month I would be: September.

If I were a day of the week I would be: Saturday

If I were a time of day I would be: the magic hour

If I were a planet I would be: undiscovered

If I were an animal I would be: a wolverine

If I were a direction I would be: West

If I were a piece of furniture I would be: ecclectic

If I were a liquid I would be: Guinness

If I were a tree I would be: Japanese purple plum

If I were a flower/plant I would be: clover

If I were a kind of weather I would be: a North Sea squall

If I were a musical instrument I would be: Bass

If I were an emotion I would be: fulfillment

If I were a color I would be: green

If I were a vegetable I would be: bok choi

If I were a sweet I would be: bailey's irish creme

If I were a car I would be: 1971 Porsche 917-10

If I were a song I would be: Adagio for Strings, Samuel Barber

If I were a movie I would be directed by: Francis Ford Coppola

If I were a book I would be written by : Henry Miller

If I were a food/drink I would be: shawarma/Guinness

If I were a place I would be: the mountains

If I were a cartoon character I would be: Ren

If I were a shape I would be: dodecahedron

If I were a material I would be: Kevlar

If I were a taste I would be: Bitter

If I were a word I would be: Feck

If I were an object I would be: Canon 1DS MKIII

If I were a body part I would be the: Eyes

If I were a facial expression I would be: Stone faced

If I were a style I would be: renaissance punk rocker

If I were a number I would be: 42...and remember "dont panic"

If I were a Beatle I would be: John

Now - Show me your answers!! Yes...I mean you...

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17724309/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17724309/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 23:28:53 PDT This weekend though, I realized that not all racing is created equally. The ALMS race was amazing. 4 classes of cars on the track at the same time. For those of you unfamiliar with Le Mans style racing, that would be like putting Indy cars, Craftsman trucks, Nextel Cup cars and Busch Cup cars on the track at the same time. The racing was amazing, especially the fight for first place. Lucas Luhr in the turbodiesel Audi R-10 vs. Romain Dumas in the Porsche Spyder RS. In the last half of the race these two battled each other for first place all the way down to the last lap of the race.
The wrecks were good. That means that the wreckage was mangled and everyone walked away unharmed. it also means that the wrecks had a meaningful effect on the outcome of the race.
Lastly the variety of the race was superb. I've already mentioned the fact that there were four classes of cars on the track at the same time. The variety of cars was even greater. Audi turbodiesel prototype racecars, Lola/AER V-10 prototypes, Posrche prototypes (the spyders,) Acura prototypes, Porsche 911s, Ferrari F-430s, Corvettes, Aston Martins in two classes, even a Viper and a Ford GT. The sounds were amazing. the muffled roar of the Audis, barely audible over the whine of their turbos rattled your chest, while the high pitched scream of the Porsches tickled your ear drums, even through the hearing protection. The dynamic range of the cars was also captivating. From the long, low P1 cars, to the flowing lines of the ferraris, to the curvaceous flowing forms of the 911s and the Ferrari 430s it was a true feast for the eyes far surpassing the monotony of NASCAR. There is a lot to love about the ALMS.
The IRL race today was on the exact same circuit. As usual with IRL races, I was thoroughly underwhelmed (is there a middle ground as in "I was whelmed", but that is for another journal,) which surprised me. I was expecting a lot more. I've never been to an IRL street race or road race before. They are a new twist to the IRL. I have been to plenty of F! races though, and I guess I was expecting F1 type action. I was wrong. Yes, it was raining, but that isnt an excuse. F1 has run in the driving rain (no pun intended,) plenty of times. The same goes for the ALMS. Neither series bunches up into a low speed car parade. The IRL, on the other hand ran the first 22 out of 100 laps under yellow flag caution. That doesn't lead to an exciting race. There were no amazing passes, no incredible displays of driving skill, in short, no redeeming qualities to the race. Combine that with the mind-numbing homogeny of the cars, and the IRL is just a racing series that leaves you flat. It doesn't matter if they are racing on an oval, streets, or road track, the IRL is just boring.
In summation, I recommend everyone attend one real race in their life. It is an experience you won't soon forget. Just avoid NASCAR (a 180+ MPH billboard parade in a circle,) and the IRL (a 200+ MPH billboard parade.)

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17672176/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17672176/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:07:44 PDT
Before Lenny, comedy consisted of hacks who were doing "My girlfriend is so fat.." and "A Rabbi, a Polac, and a Greek walk into a bar..." type jokes. Lenny revolutionized the comedy scene by striping away the superficial banality and willingly standing naked before audiences exposing his thoughts and ideas. He paved the way for the Richard Pryor's, George Carlin's and Bill Hicks' of the world.

The work of Lenny Bruce has stood the test of time and is waiting to be rediscovered by a new generation. Lenny single handedly revived the tradition of comedy being an often times dark and tragic reflection of the attitudes of his society in his time. This is a cycle which has begun again. Every comedy movie is now a romantic comedy, and every sitcom is vacuous enough for an uneducated West Virginia inbred to understand.

Go out and beg, borrow, steal or buy a copy of "How to Talk Dirty and Influence People."

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17665003/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17665003/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:14:35 PDT
Calvin's dad answering questions, quoted from various Calvin and Hobbes books by Bill Watterson.

Q. Why does the sun set?
A. It's because hot air rises. The sun's hot in the middle of the day, so it rises high in the sky. In the evening then, it cools down and sets.
Q. Why does it go from east to west?
A. Solar wind.

Q. Why does the sky turn red as the sun sets?
A. That's all the oxygen in the atmosphere catching fire.
Q. Where does the sun go when it sets?
A. The sun sets in the west. In Arizona actually, near Flagstaff. That's why the rocks there are so red.
Q. Don't the people get burned up?
A. No, the sun goes out as it sets. That's why it's dark at night.
Q. Doesn't the sun crush the whole state as it lands?
A. Ha ha, of course not. Hold a quarter up. See, the sun's just about the same size.
Q. I thought I read that the sun was really big.
A. You can't believe everything you read, I'm afraid.

Q. How come old photographs are always black and white? Didn't they have color film back then?
A. Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs are in color. It's just that the world was black and white then. The world didn't turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.
Q. But then why are old paintings in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way?
A. Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.
Q. But... But how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn't their paints have been shades of gray back then?
A. Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the '30s.
Q. So why didn't old black and white photos turn color too?
A. Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?

Q. Dad, will you explain the theory of relativity to me? I don't understand why time goes slower at great speed.
A. It's because you keep changing time zones. See, if you fly to California, you gain three hours on a five-hour flight, right? So if you go at the speed of light, you gain more time, because it doesn't take as long to get there. Of course, the theory of relativity only works if you're going west.

Q. Why do my eyes shut when I sneeze?
A. If your lids weren't closed, the force of the explosion would blow your eyeballs out and stretch the optic nerve, so your eyes would flop around and you'd have to point them with your hands to see anything.

Q. How do bank machines work?
A. Well, let's say you want 25 dollars. You punch in the amount and behind the machine there's a guy with a printing press who makes the money and sticks it out this slot.
Q. Sort of like the guy who lives up in our garage and opens the door?
A. Exactly.

Q. What causes the wind?
A. Trees sneezing.

Q. Why does ice float?
A. Because it's cold. Ice wants to get warm, so it goes to the top of liquids to be nearer to the sun.
Q. Is that true?
A. Look it up and find out.
Q. I should just look up stuff in the first place.

Q. How come you know so much?
A. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17641332/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17641332/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 19:55:19 PDT
Now, while curriculum narrowing under the unpopular NCLB has certainly been well-documented, I question whether the law is the reason that American 17-year-olds don't know the date of Columbus's voyage across the Atlantic. For one thing, I wonder how many American adults could answer the questions posed on that survey. After all, we live in an age when television quiz shows like Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? are smash hits, and President Bush's own press secretary readily admits that she's not familiar with the Cuban missile crisis."

-Rachel Brown

Ok, I'm just wondering who else is scared by this. I'd like to offer my own pet theory. The dumbing down of America is our fault. Being literate, articulate, aware of the world around us and the events of the past which created the world we live in today just isnt "cool" any more. We find it far more comfortable, and therefore socially acceptable, to show interest in pop (and I use this next word with great reservation) culture than it is to use one's brain for something other than hair fertilizer. Thinking for ones self, and especially thinking deeply for ones self is the surest way to frighten people. Wake up people. We are living in a Nietzschean maxim: the surest way to disillusion youth is to teach them to hold in low esteem all who think differently.

It is a sign of the decay of our culture. Falling back on my favorite reference to the past, we are living in a new age of bread and circuses.


Oh yeah, to continue playing off Wilhelm Friedrich Nietzsche, rigid fundamentalist religion is rapidly becoming the opiate and psychedelic of America.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17605761/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17605761/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:41:40 PDT
Why did the chicken cross the road? (As answered by historical figures.)

Adolf Hitler: He needed lebensraum.

Albert Einstein: It is a question about relativity. Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? Whether the chicken crossed the road, or the road crossed the chicken, depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Ayn Rand: Because as a thinking, independent being he had the will, the freedom and the ability to do so.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Bill Clinton: He probably spotted a cute little hen.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

George W Bush: He selflessly faced the dangers of road crossing in order to liberate the less fortunate chickens on the other side of the road.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. And that chicken would have had to walk barefoot five miles in the snow just to get to that road too! They just don't make them like that anymore!

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Friedrich Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Osama bin Laden: To strike at the heart of the infidels. Praise be to Allah!

Plato: For the greater good.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road? Was there a chicken?

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Robber Mugabe: To destroy the other side too as part of the decolonialisation process.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Schopenhauer: Because of his will. Just as the will of the earth, manifested in gravity, facilitated the journey.

Sigmund Freud: As an expression of the repressed desire to have sex with its mother. The road symbolizes the barrier presented by the cultural taboo.

Sun Tsu: It was a tactical retreat to enable the chicken to cross back and fight another day. (Jaco Strauss)

Thabo Mbeki: It is Apartheid's fault.

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Tony Blair: Because it is the right thing to do.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17603252/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17603252/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:42:21 PDT
They snakes they can crawl
And the cheetahs they can bawl
And their ghosts can wait for the hereafter
But if you are so proud
As to say thats not allowed
We will get sick and choke ourselves with laughter

And the girlfriends that you knew
To whom you promised to be true
Well have their sisters
Hanging from the rafters
And every dirty shade will rise rotting from the grave
Tomorrow will be just like the day after

And this bitter desert wind
Will come ripping through your skin
And everything thats calm will turn to madness
And all of your fake tears
Will come whirling down the years
And what was kind and warm will come to sadness

And the sun and the moon
Will come begging at your door
The stars will turn to rust
And drop from the skies
And everybody will soon be asking you for more
And everybody will be telling lies

And the girlfriends that you knew
To whom you promised to be true
Well have their sisters
Hanging from the rafters
And every dirty shade will rise rotting from the grave
Tomorrow will be just like the day after

Black Flag "Rise Above"
Jealous cowards try to control
Rise above
Were gonna rise above
They distort what we say
Rise above
Were gonna rise above
Try and stop what we do
Rise above
When they cant do it themselves

We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us its no use

Societys arms of control
Rise above
Were gonna rise above
Think theyre smart
Cant think for themselves
Rise above
Were gonna rise above
Laugh at us
Behind our backs
I find satisfaction
In what they lack

We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us its no use

We are born with a chance
Rise above
Were gonna rise above
I am gonna have my chance
Rise above
Were gonna rise above

We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us its no use

Rise above
Rise above
Rise above
Were gonna rise above
Were gonna rise above
Were gonna rise above

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17524571/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17524571/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:30:46 PDT

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.
One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:..... $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17522138/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17522138/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 08:43:03 PDT
* I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
* Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me.
* What's another word for "thesaurus"?
* When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
* When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child . . . eventually.
* I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
* For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
* I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. One day I got a call from a guy in France who said, "Cut it out!"
* I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving.
* I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio, I think "Hey, maybe I wrote that."
* I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)... and says, "Here, you can go."
* I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
* I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out. The weatherman said, "I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today." I said "Oops . . ."
* I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
* I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
* My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can't get out.
* I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know what to add.
* I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
* I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now, but leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
* I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.
* I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.
* I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
* Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
* My school colors were clear.
* I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wakeup letter.
* I'm taking La maze classes. I'm not having a baby, I'm just having trouble breathing.
* When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!"
* My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, "If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?" I said, "No." She said, "Okay, forget it."
* I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."
* My buddy got busted for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides.
* He's in a minimum security prison now; he's on a whiffle-ball and chain.
* Hermits have no peer pressure.
* Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories .
* There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
* How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
* Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
* I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
* Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers.
* I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday".
* I accidentally installed the deer whistles on my car backwards. Now everywhere I go, I'm chased by a herd of deer.
* I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."
* It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
* Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
* I'm a peripheral visionary.
* I make my own water - two glasses of H, one glass of O.
* Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?
* The other day, I went to a tourist information booth and asked, "Tell me about some of the people who were here last year."
* Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17451285/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17451285/ Fri, 21 Mar 2008 23:39:31 PDT
1) if you are too stupid to know what D.C. means in Washington D.C., sterilize yourself.

2) if the limit of your cultural depth is Late Night with Conan O'Brien, sterilize yourself.

3) if your children are afraid of fire, and you still insist upon taking them to a Japanese steak house, its too late to sterilize yourself, go Talk to Dr. Jack.

4) if you haven't read a book in over a decade without being forced to, sterilize yourself.

5) if you've made your political decisions without so much as glancing at the candidates' platforms, you are debasing the political process in this country more than it has already been debased. Sterilize yourself.

6) If you are biased against people strictly based on skin color, sexual orientation, or religion, sterilize yourself.

7) if you have ever said "Asians are more attractive than the Chinese." Find a very tall building and remove yourself from from the gene pool.

8) if you are a Christian Fundamentalist who thinks that the Taleban is any different than you are with the exception of being Muslim, then do two things. First, quit calling yourself a Christian, and second go find a big pile of sand and a mallet and pound that sand up your ass. Then take yourself out of the gene pool.

9) If you cant use proper english, and polysyllabic words are too too much for you to handle, go to a vet and get yourself fixed.

10) If you enjoy reality TV, then go out and play hide and go fuck yourself, preferably in the middle of a highway.

]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17423688/ http://Che-Gue-Petey.deviantart.com/journal/17423688/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:58:48 PDT
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]]> ~Che-Gue-Petey