http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ChikaraKokoro&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ChikaraKokoro en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 06:35:08 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/23942071/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/23942071/ Sat, 28 Mar 2009 21:51:57 PDT
I still will write it for myself, but posting it? Hmm....people are scary now-a-days, the whole 'OOC' thing and 'update! update!' thing and the fact that life kicks me around and I tend to weave in and out of fandom. I don't feel like getting in big conversataions with people to defend the fact that I like yaoi or I like a certain pairing or I think a certain character makes a good uke or seme.

I want to finish up what I have started at the very least, maybe write some things here and there, but overall? I'm not so sure. It's not as fun as it used to be, or as enjoyable, and really, I'm also getting sick of feeling like I have to impress people with it. I want to impress myself foremost. I want to write whatever I want to write whenever I want to write it. And also? Original fiction is making me happier. It's more free and relaxed and nobody's picking it apart.

When people say, "this plot is cliche" (not necessarily mine, but another's) or "overused" or "so-and-so would never do this" it's just - why don't you go write your own damn fanfiction if you don't like it? If you think something's OOC or over-used, go write your own fic and make yourself happy. I'm not here to impress people anymore. I'm here to write because I love writing, and that should be my motivation.

"A Project In Red Ink" is going to be my comfort, since Starlight Cafe is finished. I think I'm going to work on that most of all, get Elliot and Lai a little more developed and just had fun. And if I want some good Ovan/Haseo or Roxas/Axel (uke Axel cheers me up) then I'll go search out a rare fic or art and if that doesn't work, I'll go write it myself.

I know how to write, I know how to bend words and create plots and do things a lot of people struggle with, and I'm not bragging here because I never brag about anything. I beat myself up over everything I do, and to be honest, this is probably the first time I admitted that I liked something of mine in a very long time. Yeah, I'm proud of my writing. I think I'm pretty damn good at it. So maybe I should just say, 'hey, screw these stupid opinions, this makes me happy and I'm going to keep doing it.'

You guys are not losing a fanfiction writer, but you're going to be seeing less of my work. Let's hope that next time I come across somebody bitching that 'this is wrong/OOC/stupid!' they'll get the damn picture that we're writers, we write, and if you don't like what we're writing, go find yourself some other crap to read. I don't care, because either way, I'm getting my fanfiction from myself and if nobody's going to appreciate us fanfiction writer's works, then they're the ones missing out. Makes no difference to me if people read what I write, because I still get to read it and that's a good fix for me.

Also? I'm confident in myself. I'm pretty damn cool. It's taken me years and years of fighting depression to be able to say that, so I'm going to say it. I've got my writing. If other people want to complain, they can go without.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/23883312/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/23883312/ Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:36:35 PDT
Do any of you y!gallery members have similar problems?


EDIT: okay, switching to Foxfire seems to take care of most of the issues. heh heh

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/23837171/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/23837171/ Sun, 22 Mar 2009 17:55:07 PDT
Most people like SasuNaru, I like NaruSasu. Which, actually, isn't THAT rare of a thing. . .I perfer Sora x Riku against Riku x Sora as well, but again, though that's harder to find, it's not impossible. Atoli x Shino instead of Shino x Atoli? Maybe a few, somewhere.

But Roxas x Axel rather than Axel x Roxas? Unheard of.

I LIKE uke!Axel. And seme!Roxas. I do. I think I've seen maybe one drabble for them, but otherwise. . .what the hell, where are all my fellow RokuAku supporters? >__< Can anyone even rec me some of that, a fic or an image or anything? I feel all alone.

Also, I'm all for equality & switching around IRL, I understand that. But yaoi is, you know, fictional things, so, in short, if I feel like reading some set seme x uke things, then that's what I'm going to do. Maybe I should add some of these pairings to my to-do, just to entertain myself. We need more rare sets.

The list, again, is here:

Character design RP: Papercrane (EDIT: In Progress - about 40% finished) (experimental)

Character design RP: Luis
Character design RL: Punk Twins (they're edible!)
Art: RP gathering (Red Ink clique)
Art: Elliot & Lai
Art: Elliot & Aimee
Art: the project (Red Ink clique)
+give or take whatever, may add or subtract more, let's see what happens

sigh...

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/23795225/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/23795225/ Fri, 20 Mar 2009 11:27:51 PDT
I am getting put down very easily. Twilight? Please, please, please, go away, far away. Worst piece of lit that ever fell into my life. I am horrified and disgusted that such a terrible book is getting so much love. Makes me doubt my own work/people's opinions on anything. So sick of hearing about how great this awful story is. Ugh.

My life has been strange, I can't really describe it any better. Someimes it goes by in a daze and I have trouble updating people on things because I'm not too sure what happened myeslf. I'm working on a new story called "A Project In Red Ink", and on that note, I plan to put up some original artwork for that. Will put a checklist below so you have an idea of what to expect. Yes, that means very little/no more fanart. Apparently this account artwork cycles just as rapdily as I do.

Character design RP: Papercrane (EDIT: In Progress - about 40% finished)

Character design RP: Luis
Character design RL: Punk Twins (they're edible!)
Art: RP gathering (Red Ink clique)
Art: Elliot & Lai
Art: Elliot & Aimee
Art: the project (Red Ink clique)
+give or take whatever, may add or subtract more, let's see what happens

Thanks you guys, love you.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/16342135/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/16342135/ Thu, 10 Jan 2008 10:48:15 PST
And, well...the ending surprised me.

A lot.

but in a good way!

...I'm going to shut up now.

On another note, why is it that I can't log on to RAPPELZ anymore? I want to level up my Feiye D:

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/15732105/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/15732105/ Fri, 30 Nov 2007 08:41:34 PST .HACK SAGA

Atoli/Sakaki "The Last Song I'm Wasting On You", by Evanescence
I love this song so much, and it reminded me 100% of Atoli's eventual view on Sakaki by the end of the title...just telling him that she's spent too much time suffering over him and it's time to move on and find her own way. So good =' )

Ovan/Haseo "Map of the Problematique", by MUSE
The lyrics to this gave me a whole twisted relationship kind of feel, almost like Saliva's "Always", only not as rock...Good enough for me = ) I highly recommend this song too, it's really good, and fun to dance to...all that great stuff.
When I refuse to let you go/I can't get it right, since I met you.

Haseo/Shino "Do You Have A Little Time", by Dido
Now this is the part where you all gasp because I implied something Haseo/Shino, but too bad, this song just hit the nail on the head too much for me to pass up jotting it down. Dido sort of took Shino's voice for me here, talking about patience and how she's always at the side of his life, ready to catch him if he falls. It's cute as hell, and Dido's voice hits all the notes perfectly.

Shino/Atoli "Falling Away with You", by MUSE
I love this match because it took my feelings on how I want Shinoli to be perfectly...the song is about forgetting the past and who they used to be or what they did before and just starting a relationship anew (I think our lives/have just begun) So very sweet =' )

Haseo/Skeith "Take Me Away From Me" by Evanescence
Self-explanatory madness with Amy Lee?

Shino "Breathe No More" by Evanescence
Self-explanatory heartbreaking song by Amy Lee? Seriously, listen to this and tell me you don't think of Shino.

Atoli "Hold On", by B*Witched
If there had to be an Atoli song, it would be something upbeat but serious like this one. <3 Three guesses where the sountrack is from? It's 'the Princess Diaries' XD Cheerful song about doing your best, no matter what. And it's cute. Now ssssh.

Haseo "From The Inside" by Linkin Park
You'll have to think first form Haseo for this one, because it's all about lack of trust in everyone but yourself. Plus...well, it's a good song. Yep.

LOVELESS

Soubi/Ritsuka "My Sacrifice" by Creed
The really ironic thing about this is that Ritsuka is literally Soubi's sacrifice (the fighter unit's counterpart is called a sacrifice) and so listening to it is almost like hearing the poor guy talking to Ritsuka. xD Plus it really hits the nail on the head as far as 'dead to everyone else, but open to him' sort of thing. Did I mention how in love I am with this series? I don't think I did. ; )

Kouya/Yamato "Like You" by Evanescence
I love this couple so much, because they represented transgressing lesbian prejudice and misunderstandings toward cutters all in one little romance story. What really breaks my heart is how they just want to be with each other but they keep getting torn apart. Amy Lee's (I long to be like you/lie cold in the ground like you) spins a perfect playoff their initial inability to feel physical pain and Kouya's inability to get through her emotional pain...and the way that Yamato was determined to 'match' her in every way. Just....love

NARUTO

Naruto/Sasuke "Always" by Saliva
(I love you/I hate you/I can't get around you)
Traditional pairing that still fasinates me.

Naruto/Sasuke "Judas" by Kelly Clarkson
Sort of from a Naruto perspective of 'how come I helped you but you fucking left?' but without the romance, for once. (Kelly Clarkson has this unique new feel in her album 'My December' and tons of her songs began to cue characters for me.)

Naruto/Hinata "You Found Me" by Kelly Clarkson
Self-explanatory fluffy song?

RUROUNI KENSHIN/SAMURAI X

Kenshin/Kaoru "Where Did I Go Right?" by Hillary Duff
This is just so sweet. The second half of Rurouni Kenshin is really all settling down, making things right sort of feel to it, and you can take these lyrics from either perspective, but either way it's a refreshing song to hear.

Kenshin/Tomoe "The Reason" by Hoobastank
Literal meaning here. Kenshin tries to hit a 180 degree turn becuase his lover died due to his own blade. Self-explanatory, again. xD You all know this song, I'll be surprised if you don't. Plus I always had a weak spot for Kenshin/Tomoe, it's so tragic.

Misao "Butterfly" by smile.dk
Upbeat song about searching for a love? So Misao. I wonder if it's Aoshi or just a savior she... ]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/15040034/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/15040034/ Sat, 13 Oct 2007 07:30:40 PDT
Recently I've been shifting toward the more listless side of depression and I can't seem to figure out what to do other than sit in one place and watch the minutes go by. Of course there are things to do, but...I suppose they run dry after a while.

So, my request is this: can anybody tell me a few things they do to chase away their boredom other than DA? DA is fun and all, but I need a break from drawing every so often, and recently I've just been feeling like I'm obligated to impress whoever sees what I draw, so it's a little stressful now~

I've asked my shrink for things to keep me busy and he says all the typical answers, so I thought I'd ask for some suggestions in the vast field of the internet...hehe.

I sort of have trouble leaving the house now, so what do you guys do for fun indoors? It can be anything, I'm listening. <: )

Phew...only a few more days until I see my doctor again...they're going by so slow. xD

Thank you in advance~ *feels a little silly posting this*

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/15013539/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/15013539/ Thu, 11 Oct 2007 10:54:56 PDT 's tagging! *sobs* Somebody stop her!

Okay, let's do this. >D

Name: Chikara Kokoro (yep, that's all your getting)
Birthplace: The hospital <3
Birthday: July 21
Gender: Female
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'8''
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Elemental Sign: Wind
Chinese Zodiac Sign: I forget...

LAYER TWO:
Your heritage: Um?
The shoes you wore today: black slip-on things with heels...
Your fears: mental hospitals (don't want to go!) getting raped, one of my friends getting raped (geez that's so scary...) murder, poison, spiders...more spiders...and other such things.
Your perfect meal: Chinese takeout! I love wantan soup and sweet and sour chicken, and an eggroll. JUST ONE. rofl.
Goal you'd like to achieve: Finding my center with Bipolar Disorder, and of course getting my lovely "Sun's Song" published and sitting on a shelf somewhere in Washington state.

LAYER THREE:
What is...
Your first thought waking up? One more minute...
Your best physical feature? My eyes, I've been told, are 'very intense' = )
Your bedtime? somewhere around 12:30 to 1:00...
Your most missed memory? Before my best friend decieded to leave me and trigger my disorder...
The weirdest question you've ever been asked? Um...*can't remember*

LAYER FOUR:
Do you prefer...
Pepsi or Coke? Whatever works. *shrugs*
McDonald's or Burger King? McDonalds, though I wouldn't really take either in the first place~
Single or group dates? Single = )
Adidas or Nike? Nike
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea? Ice Tea is horrible D=
Chocolate or vanilla? Kimi wa boku no vanilla, darling.
Cappuccino or coffee? Cappuccino.

LAYER FIVE:
Do/Did you...
Smoke? Never.
Cuss? Every other word is a curse with me.
Sing? Lots and lots. I sometimes turn my old poems into songs when I'm bored = )
Take a shower? Every day or every other day depending how much work I got done.
Have a crush? Does RJ count?
Think you've been in love? Thought so many times, but only ever been in love one time. = ) Not that it amounted to anything, though.
Want to go to college? Not quite...
Like high school? High School is Satan's hangout.
Want to get married? If I find my RJ, I'd love to.
Get motion sickness? Only in moving cars, and then yes, very easily. >__<
Think you're attractive? Hellz yes.
Think you're a health freak? The exact opposite. Thank god for DDR to keep me thin.
Get along with your parent(s)? Very well, my mother especially. I love her so~
Play an instrument? I can play the piano by ear....

CHOOSE ONE:
1. J-Rock or J-Pop um....depends on my mood >__<
2. Traditional or Digital - Traditional
3. Red or Blue - Red
4. Ska or Emo – the hell is Ska? And I don't label myself as emo, but...eheh, I tend to be sometimes.


Tagging...whoever wants to, again.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14977182/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14977182/ Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:12:15 PDT

Rules...
1. You must answer all questions and truthfully.
2. You must tag 5 people or more

1. Add up the price of the clothes you are wearing.
About $90....it's an expensive corset xD

2. Add up the pageviews of all the accounts you own.
Lets see...3308.

3. What have you eaten today?
Ramen for breakfast...a hamburger, rice, and some cheese.

4. Write the last thing you heard?
"SHALLOW SLEEP; original Japanese ver." during a mini music fest with my sister.

5. List 5 things you see next to you.
A little geisha model thing, my Ipod, some pencils, volume 4 of "Loveless," and a L'Arc~en~Ciel pin-up.

6. The first word that comes into your head?
This....

7. One funny thing thats happened to you today?
I just downloaded Rappelz, the MMORPG a few days ago and keep trying to play it...it goes well until I get disconnected and lose all my levels or quit and lose all my levels. I can't figure out how to save! It's driving me crazy.

8. Put your music player on shuffle. Click the skip/next song button 5 times. Whats playing now?
"Birdcage" by Gackt =3

I tag whoever wants to be tagged

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14915184/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14915184/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:04:36 PDT
I'm a bit surprised that the area levels didn't go up higher than 150, since it was the last installment and all. And also that Skeith the 3rd was only used once.

The ending was so bittersweet!..kind of hopeful but sad. I already knew it, but seeing it after playing the scenes was different. I feel so horrible for Shino. She deserves so much better than what everyone is giving her, and that includes Atoli (dearie, I know you're upset, but it is not fun to be gawked at and misunderstood either) and Haseo (you're just going to leave her there?) I'm not even a big Shino/Haseo fan, I'm just saying it seemed very lonely.

On another note, all the Ovan/Haseo really surprised me. I'm not complaing, I mean, but it REALLY surprised me. Some of the lines they said to each other were lines I expected Atoli and Haseo to be saying to each other The whole time I was like; "Is this something fluffy from my head that's being projected unto the screen by acts of hallucination, or is this really the game?" o_O huh.

Zelkova and Kaede are love. I want more of them.

Anyway, the ending did give me a lot more drawing ideas (mostly for Ovan/Haseo, DAMN THAT COUPLE FOR MAKING SO MUCH SENSE.) I also have Saku & Bo and Bo & Aina on my list...and I'm working on something right now, but that's a surprise. ; ) It's taking me forever to finish. Argh.

And no, I havn't forgotten my beloved Azure Kite/Haseo. T___T;;; I'm just very low on ideas for them because Azure Kite never speaks and speaking does, um...you know, give you some damn ideas. >__< I WILL COME UP WITH SOMETHING, I SWEAR. *shakes fist*

And on a closing note...Shino is adorable, 'Yasashiku kimi wa Hohoende Ita' and 'Shinjitsu no Yukue; piano ver' are perfect fitting .hack songs, Haseo still my fashion model, and I'm searching my brain for some slash to draw. Again.

Still doing terrible IRL. I'm not quite sure who to talk to about it anymore, and I don't want to rant. ...<: /

Oh. And here's a shameless plug to my writing account:

It's very small, so bear with me. xD

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14825928/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14825928/ Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:14:00 PDT
I'm also thinking about putting up my silly original shounen-ai project, Starlight Café, up to get some reviews on it since it's a pet project I'd never set alongside my other original works that I take really seriously and I haven't really shared more than just pieces and pictures of it.

Does anyone else here have a thing for writing original things/fanfiction/or poems, or having a writing account as well, or are all my friends here strictly art-releated? = )

I'd post more fanfiction/poems here, but I really don't like how they stand out and clash against the art, so I stopped doing so after the first two or three.

On another note, I'm still here at home, feeling half-dead and unanimated. xD I realllly dislike leaving the house now, but the whole 'home bound' thing is a bit scary, so I'd like to be outside a little more, I suppose. I'm going to try this half-schooling sort of thing where I go do a certain amount of work at the buildings alongside the teachers and students and everything, and complete the rest of it at home. I'm not quite...positive about all the details, but I think that's the path I'm working on right now, so hopefully it will lower the damn stress down a little bit.

In the meantime - damn, have I been getting a lot of personal things done! I'm sketching a lot more (ideas, ideas...) and starting feeding a lot of dead text files back to life. I'm glad that at least my fondness of art hasn't spiraled down as badly as my energy has xD So I'm playing around a lot with my beloved writing, which was what started the idea of a seperate DA account in the first place.

Of course I wouldn't forget about this one ; ) I still have too many ideas I want to finish and post.

Mmkay, I need to lay down. Kisses~

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14790544/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14790544/ Tue, 25 Sep 2007 18:01:47 PDT
I was really surprised with the love interests of the movie, but...they were really nice, in a way. See, in most animes and mangas the main male character falls in love with the main female character, and after years and years of being a huge ani/manga fan I'm really getting sick of it. VERY sick of it, to the point where I pick up something like Kamichama Karin and want to set something on fire by the end of it. The "I think, I'm in love with you..!" is no damn surprise anymore, because we all saw it coming from three pages into the manga when there was a guy marked 'main male' and a girl marked 'main female', so obviously that means they're going to fall in love?

It doesn't make sense, because to another character in the story, they're their own main character, and...gah, it just irritates me, how unoriginal it all is. And it's all so common - it's everywhere. In just about any title you can guess the main pairing five minutes into it and 99% of the time you're correct. I want something surprising, and sweet, and just sort of....*sigh*

It makes me sad since I'm playing G.U. right now (still, I'm trying to make it last xD) and I really want some really different love in there - I don't mean yaoi, I mean - just something surprising. Haseo/Atoli was going well enough in volume two and I was hoping it would stay that way - romantic but not, you know, forced and stupid. But now it just depresses me in volume three because it's turning out to be just that - forced and stupid. It's so predictable and....just too easy. I try not to put down other pairings because I know it's annoying and pointless to those who support them, but I really wanna bitch this time, so I will. =/ GIVE ME SOMETHING WITH A TWIST. Thank you.

It makes me sad because I could put the game down, go upstairs, and write better het romance than that in less than an hour. It makes me feel cheated, you know? And I love Atoli and Haseo by themselves, just together it's like....terrible scripts and sudden OOCs and back again. I kinda miss my old Haseo, the one that spoke up when he got pissed and didn't spout random lines that sounded like somebody else talking through him. He's still my favorite, I mean, I just wished they did the damn romance better than sticking in some badly scripted lines and labeling it 'fluff.'

Slash and crack and all that, it cheers me up because it's so different. xD Not different as in 'no one ever thinks of it,' but different as in it's a shock to the plotline. It's fun. And the strangeness of it all makes it sexy too.

I think I might go lurk back into Satoshi Kon's lovely selections of anime - like finishing up Paranoia Agent, which I only got three episodes into before I stopped for whatever reason - since they're very good and just...have that great element of being unpredictable and abstract. I want to re-watch Furi Kuri, too. It's more abstract, sort of out-there romance that's not obvious and easy, and that's sort of what I need right now. Something odd.

In the meantime I want to keep slowly working on my baby novel, even though I don't expect it finished in another few years, at least I know I can do better than the often-lame pairings of really popular titles and get something out of that. And when I get tired of writing I'll check back in on my slash to keep myself happy, heh. Yaoi is so damn fun, the elements of it. And I want to draw more G.U. slash, for the love of God, I'm kinda of in an art block right now. But I will! I want more cute dresses for Haseo-chan, because he wears them so well xD *is cross-dressing obsessed*

Hm, this is getting a little long. I'm going to be a little bit inactive for a while because lots of things are going on with - my medical health and taking care of being Bipolar and all - I'm home for the week at the moment and I'm not really too sure what's going to happen. Am I scared? You bet I'm scared. But who the hell cares, I'll get used to it - I always do. = )

Now on a softer note agian, has anybody seen any Satoshi Kon works other than Paranoia Agent, Furi Kuri and Paprika? (if those are indeed his works...I'm pretty sure they are.) I'm wondering about Millenium Actress, Tokyo Godfathers, and Perfect Blue.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14645324/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14645324/ Sat, 15 Sep 2007 13:40:00 PDT I had to laugh at Sakaki saying "Cut! Cut! Cut to your hearts desire!" to Haseo. lol, emo subtext. I'm not finished yet through! >D

Mmkay, but I was wondering - what are everybody's favorite characters/pairings? I'm just curious what you're tastes are, since sometimes I'm quite stupid with catching on to that sort of thing. >__> I know everyone isn't into the same ones I am! xD;;

Obviously I know what some of you like, but let me know anyway~

Whoo, we're past halfway to the next 1000 pageviews! I feel so loved.

God, I gotta color some of this stuff in my room. Everything's in pencil D:

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14492439/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14492439/ Tue, 04 Sep 2007 18:14:55 PDT EDIT: SIX >__< I meant to say six! Eheh... days and my playstation is broken.

SUCH TORTURE.

I can't figure out how to fix it! It won't read discs.

Gah the...emoness...and Shino in a party...and Alkaid, and Azure Kite! And Haseo's sexy Xth form with the shirt that opens up in the front! And all the Ovan moments! And the forest of death! And Yasashiku kimi wa Hohoende Ita playing in the background! And the wedding things! D=!!! I'll be breaking things and snapping at people in school if I know I'm missing out on all that sexyness.

*has no life*

Does anyone have any fix-it suggestions? Other than buy a new one? Because I did that already, it's the second one I have D=

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14370593/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14370593/ Mon, 27 Aug 2007 19:24:17 PDT 's journal. xD; Is this the first tag I'm doing? Wow.

RULES ARE:

1 - Post these rules
2 - Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3 - Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts
4 - At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5 - Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged

Not putting this on my blog or tagging others, so just take it if you like it.

1. I first got into anime after catching a dub on regular TV, but then I grew to hate dubs...isn't that odd? The Japanese versions are just so much prettier. xD

2. I love talking to the moon. It's very soothing.

3. I wish I could get more things pierced, but I have this awful needle phobia. *sigh* I only have my ears done.

4. I'm a total yaoi fangirl, but I also ship M/F and F/F things...M/F because sometimes it wins me over and F/F because they're always so romantic. *is a total sap*

5. I'm taller than almost everyone I know.

6. My #1 passion is writing, mostly horror and twisted romance. I've written enough original pieces to keep you busy reading for years!

7. I have bipolar disorder and also have experienced some other weird mental abnormalities, the most recent being parasomnias (which is hearing/seeing your dreams in front of you during waking moments.)

8. My shrink has told me that my constant writing/drawing/singing/general over-creativeness is due to the fact that I'm bipolar. Isn't that ironic?

----

Rules: Pick your favorite anime, and answer the questions according to the anime.

1. What anime did you pick to play this with?
Fullmetal Alchemist! =3

2. Who is your favorite character from it?
I love Martel, Ross, and Ed...but Ed wins.

3. What do you like so much about him/her?
He's very realistic, getting angry then serious then silly...plus the over-protective side of him with his brother reminds me of myself with my sister.

4. Who do you most pair him/her with?
Roy Mustang. Always entertaining!

5. What is your favorite opening song from the anime?
Oh man..."REWRITE", by Asian Kung-Fu generation. The song is one of my favorites, and the music vid. is so kick-ass!

6. Your favorite ending song from it?
"Motherland" by Crystal Kay. I didn't like that it only featured Winry, but the graphics were still cute and her vocals are soooooo pretty.

7. What would you like to see most happen in the anime?
I'd like Ling Yao to appear! He was an awesome manga character, and I was so sad to see they left him out of the anime.

8. Who is your favorite villain (if you picked them as your favorite character, pick your SECOND favorite to answer this.)
Sloth. I just loved her so damn much, how calm she was, and her speech to Ed about not wanting to be his mother figure, "I have to kill you, or I'll end up loving you." So cool ='D

9. If you could crossover this anime and another one, which other one would you pick?
Um, Tsubasa, because you can cross just about ANYTHING with Tsubasa. Plus it would be an amusing clash with flirt!Fay and Sakura straining to be polite to the homunculi...

10. What did you NOT like about the anime?
How they followed the manga rather nicely, not too close but still different enough to keep it interesting...and then near the end they just sort of took a shot in the dark and kept the explanations to a minimum.

11. Is there a manga for it, and if so, do you like it better than the anime?
I read the manga first, and followed it pretty far...and then I sort of lost track of it around the point that Ling became Greed-san....I'd finish reading it, but I think if I picked it up now I'd have no idea what was going on, and I'm too busy re-reading Naruto to re-read FMA.

12. What character do you most act like?
Ed. I see a lot of myself in him.

13. Which character would you want to marry?
Um...Hughes would make a good husband. So loyal!

14. Which character is your LEAST favorite?
Winry. I don't dislike her, but she doesn't strike me as very awesome either.

15. If your FAVORITE character woke you up in the middle of the night, what would you do?
Think I was dreaming and go back to sleep?

16. Do you like the English dub (If there is one) of this anime?
Yeah, I saw one episode of it before I watched it in Japanese, and it actually turned out pretty good.

17. What do you think about this quiz?
My answers a... ]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14241147/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14241147/ Sun, 19 Aug 2007 13:34:51 PDT
I turned on my TV today and just...holy shit. Naruto's english voice is so terrible. It sounds like the poor kid has bronchitis. I was too scared to sit and wait to hear the rest of their voices too >__>

I mean, I don't hate ALL dubs, but most of them are awful. What really bothers me is that now this huge mass of small children are into Naruto the way they're usually into Dragonball Z. I hope their parents just cover their ears and hum songs when the kids run into some serious fanfiction and fanart that's been there years before it crashed headfirst into America.

There should totally be a club called "I was into Naruto before it was 'cool' (and ruined)" God I miss those days.

-___-;;!!!

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14203077/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/14203077/ Thu, 16 Aug 2007 21:20:24 PDT
But I'll be sitting there writing some crazy murder scene and suddenly I'm like; why arn't I a detective or something? Here's the thing, it's so damn cool to just write out (or draw) something that you don't actually need to be there... (I'm sure you guys know that though <3 )

I guess it's the same concept as readers living through a novel or a painting or something, you just don't think of writers getting the same thing. Well, I didn't, anyway. Before I had a lot of experience I was worried about my writing being dull because I had never actually gone and piloted a plane or run away from home or whatever the hell it was I was writing about. Now it's like; I've done that before, sort of, if you count writing it as doing it!

Art is a funny thing, isn't it?

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13994314/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13994314/ Thu, 02 Aug 2007 23:32:35 PDT
[link]

Good times.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13676783/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13676783/ Mon, 09 Jul 2007 21:03:55 PDT
I mean, between most of the clear canon couples there's not any crazy age differences (except maybe Ovan and Shino's six year age difference...but I still can't tell if they're canon or not >__< ), and off the top of my head I know that neither Haseo or Atoli are over 18. Jail~bait~!

The Azure Knights are all ageless....but that leaves pairings like Shino/Atoli with a four year difference and Ovan/Haseo with nine.

Goddamn it.

But I would love to hear about Ryou, Chigusa, Masato, Shino and all of the gang getting together like the parties from SIGN and project .hack did. (Except if they proceeded with our typical fangirl speculations there would be statutory rape charges left and right...unless the age of consent is different in Japan. xD; Is it? )

BUT, there have been worse age issues. Like the main pairing of Loveless (a 20 year old and a 12 year old) and Cardcaptor Sakura (10 year old children falling in love with junior high schoolers...) The funny thing is, all of this doesn't bother me in the least. I actually find it quite amusing.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13635358/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13635358/ Fri, 06 Jul 2007 14:24:08 PDT very strange occurrences that I just got the name for - they're called Parasomnic (sensory) Hallucinations, and apparently it's part it's a sleep disorder thing that's not too uncommon. It's not the first time I've had something like this either, because I've had Parasomnic Night Terrors for as far back as I can remember. It's really not to big an overall deal, but I am pretty irritated that there's one more thing to deal with on top of the Manic Depression, which is never going to end anyway.

Also, I went to the doctor with my mother yesterday and when he asked if there was anything unusual other than the sleep problems, I couldn't think of anything too severe. But my mother began to list all these things that I had done that I - don't remember doing - most of them different (but not very dangerous) forms of self-injury. It scared me something awful, because she had the dates and situations listed and everything, but I just couldn't remember doing them. My doctor said it wasn't too big a deal, since I would have been under a lot of stress at the time, and that it wasn't too abnormal for me to not be thinking clearly enough to remember...or something like that. I trust my mother with everything, she's amazing, and she really works hard to get through all of this with me, so there's no possibily to me of her exaggerating or making things up out of spite.

Well, regardless, the entire self-injury and panic thing began to calm down once it stopped being mostly cutting and started being the occasional punching, which doesn't worry me as much, as it's far, far less dangerous and there's no..blood invovled or anything. I'm doing my best to keep it under control.

But, that's the situation as it stands. The manic depression I'm dealing with as I always do, but as for this new sleeping business, it seems to mostly keep to itself as long as I'm sleeping in a room with light and people there to push the visions away.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13459606/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13459606/ Sat, 23 Jun 2007 12:24:52 PDT [link]

Poor...Fay?

That's by far the most suggestive looking vampire-turning scene I've seen so far.

Not that I'm complaining, but....honestly.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13381307/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13381307/ Sun, 17 Jun 2007 13:18:14 PDT
It makes me want to kill something.

I try not to rant about things, really, but this is like, the 100th time I've come across it.

YOUR HEROINES ARE NOT THAT EFFING GREAT KTHANXBAI.

>_______<

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13125798/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/13125798/ Mon, 28 May 2007 13:21:37 PDT
I can't believe I've only just now found out that Haseo's Japanese voice actor is Takahiro Sakurai.

Seriously, this guy is my hands down favorite voice actor. I used to have a ton of his Boy's Love dramas and stuff. T_T He used to do audio BL with Morikawa and...and Kenichi and stuff....;__; He was such a wonderful...goddamn...uke. >__< Gah.

Dear God. It's so unfair.

WHY MUST THERE BE NO CHOICE OF PLAYING G.U. IN JAPANESE?!? *sobs*

Damn it, I wish I was better at learning other languages. I keep forgetting the little Japanese I know, re-learning it, then forgetting it again. T_T

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12981055/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12981055/ Wed, 16 May 2007 17:53:24 PDT
Antares/Haseo

Alkaid/Atoli

Sakaki x Saku (well, volume two didn't bring this up, but me and Ta made far too much sense of it XD; )

and the scariest yet: AIDA/Haseo (because that battle with Bordeaux honestly reminded me of tentacle hentai o_O; )

YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU WEREN'T THINKING IT *headdesk*

lol, I need to be shot.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12911951/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12911951/ Thu, 10 May 2007 14:38:07 PDT
Anyway - Volume Two is out! Celebrate! >D

First thing I noticed: the voices. If you know me well you'll know voice-acting is what I'm harshest about in any anime or game or movie. I liked the voice acting in v.1, it was gone pretty well. Some voices (Atoli, Endrance) irritated me at times, but overall it was great. Now it seems they've re-voiced everything, from "Rengeki" to the winning lines to the Awakenings to Haseo's repth spell, all of which are less exciting than the originals. They've even taken out the voices of your party members when out on a field. Ugh.

The graphics are still kick-ass. I'm happy that there are new areas now, since v.1 did have a lack of different locations. Lots of new places and modes are open. Also, the music seems to have improved greatly. The music on the desktop is much nicer, even including the opening "Kind Hands" in Japanese vocals.

Now, me as a yaoi fan was pretty damn giggly over everything. I can barely look as Haseo without picturing all that...slash. Dear God. >_< So far, no Azure Kite, but Ovan is there, and Endrance should arrive some time soon (once he gets out of that damn ice) so I suppose I'll have plenty to laugh at down the line. = ) Yes, I'm immature. It's entertaining <3

As far as canon romance goes, it's finally moving. The Haseo/Atoli is more in the open, and Alkaid has joined in. Personally I like Alkaid, I think she's got a good attitude and I've been agreeing with her view points since volume one, so I like the Haseo/Alkaid scenes more than those with Atoli. But wtfever, that's just me.

And of course, third form is here, and it's sexy. =O I've always loved his 3rd hairstyle best. Haseo's hips are huge, though. Wow. XD; But I digress. <3

Overall...so far, there are a few points that disappoint, but I'm still having a great time playing. I have to keep reminding myself not to play too much or it will be over too quickly XD; And I'm sure you all have it yourselves (or at least fellow G.U. fans do) but if not I do recommend.

Now I really want to head downstairs and rest some more before my headache gets worse, so I'm not gonna bother to spell check this now. I'll run it through tomorrow -__-; Must...lay...down.

See you guys.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12572323/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12572323/ Thu, 12 Apr 2007 19:46:03 PDT
The ending had some confusing points, like Kuhn telling Silabus and Gasbard to watch out for someone claiming to be the Terror of Death, and yet when they met Haseo in the video game they don't believe him. Somebody messed up somewhere, I guess >_> Lol

I liked both Shino and Tabby a lot, but the knee-hugging irritated me. >__< Oh well... The Shino 'ghost' at the end was pretty sad...-_-; I guess the whole ending in general was sad. All that lonliness D: I was glad that Tabby could go back to her old self once Haseo stopped PKKing. That Paw guild was pretty pathetic XD but I had to smile seeing her so happy again. ^__^

Anyway, .hack//ROOTS was entertaining for me. A bit lengthy, but interesting. I simply adore the soundtrack to it, .hack never fails to impress me with their music. ALI PROJECT did a good job as with the vocals as well. =3 Thoughts on the anime, anyone?

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12511343/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12511343/ Sun, 08 Apr 2007 14:19:10 PDT __< I just went out and bought .hack//G.U. so I'll have something to fangirl over in my free time instead of doing nothing, which is what my vacation consists mostly of. I mean, it's one of my favorite games, and I don't even own it. >O I borrowed it off my friend to play it originally. So....NOW I have it! Hahahaha! >_<

My sister said, "You really like that zombie guy, don't you?" I was like "Yes, yes I do." I couldn't stand the original Kite from .hack//INFECTION, etc. He was such a pushover >__< Kite was like, the public servent. And though I like Black Rose, whenever she would yell at Kite I was like, "Yell back! ...damm it." Maybe that's why I like Haseo so damn much. 'cause he's such an ass. >__>

But Azure Kite is t3h cool. Before the game even came out I found a picture of the Azure Knights online and called up Ta. We're such dorks, we were just like; "Would the razor teeth cancel each other out or would they just kiss bloody?" And then we went and asked her Dad...who was just like; "Wtf is wrong with you girls." D: When I first met my friends, they were all innocent. But now I've corrupted them with the disease of yaoi. >D I'm so proud of myself >__< Riiight.

Anyway, Happy Easter everybody! Go eat candy and stuff~

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12339121/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12339121/ Mon, 26 Mar 2007 16:23:41 PDT
(Yay, it's getting shorter!)
-Sketch: Akito, paintbrust
-Sketch: Naru/Sasu, Manga Death
-Sketch: Ovan/Haseo
-Color: AK/H, w/handcuffs
-Color: AK/H, w/doll
-Color: Maid!Haseo
-Color: Ovan/Haseo, playboy
-Request: L panty shot for Ta
-Request: Pimp!Azure Kite for Ta
-Request: Gakuhai, stocking for Ta

I've been trying to get into new titles, trading manga with my friends, which is always fun because several of them are the obsessive buyer types that I am and it's fun to trade huge stacks of comics. Hehe~

My newest favorite is Death Note, which I'm really happy to finally have gotten my hands on. The constant detective talk and death after death grates on you a bit, but the character designs are lovely and the plotline is very interesting. The ending made got me teary though. Lol >__>;

I promised myself I'd do no Death Note fanarts, but Ta made a tempting offer, damn it. ><; When me and her get together, it's ideas everywhere. I had to cut more than half of them off my to-do list just because I know I'd never get them all done.

But before I go, a quit rant: DA can be exhausting sometimes! It's a little saddening to see so many people posting flames and stupid complaints at the forums, and every time I see one of those 'anti-so-and-so' stamps or buttons I get pissed off. Dude, there's tons of pairings and characters I hate, but I'm not putting fucking stickers up to whine about them because chances are, there are people out there that support or draw that pairing that are gonna get disheartened knowing people are so loud about what they don't like. And sometimes I can't stand a pairing but I see pictures of it that I think are cute anyway. Be a little open minded, guys. ;D

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12297671/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12297671/ Fri, 23 Mar 2007 14:08:05 PDT
-Sketch: Akito, paintbrust
-Sketch: Naru/Sasu, Manga Death
-Sketch: G.U. shower
-Sketch: Ovan/Haseo
-Color: AK/H: Schoolverse, boy's uniform
-Color: AK/H: Schoolverse, girl's uniform
-Color: AK/H, w/handcuffs
-Color: AK/H, w/doll
-Color: Maid!Haseo, in progress
-Color: "You're scowling again..."
-Color: Ovan/Haseo, playboy
-Request: Pimp!Azure Kite (for Ta)
-Request: Haku (for Ta)
-Request: Gakuhai, stocking (for Ta)

Though I'm elated just to have this weekend off, I can't say how it will go. Recently things have been in such a get-this-over-with state that by the time I can finally relax I usually spend that time dreading having to get up again. It's a familiar arc of depression that will randomly hit me, more so in the past than now. I don't see my shrink very soon anyway. Not that that usually makes the difference, but it's just a thought.

The cutting thing hasn't been brought up as often as I thought it would. Most of the time I have something to do to take my mind off the urges. I suppose it's become less and less of an urge when I realize that nobody really takes it seriosuly. My family does, of course. My friends do, to an extent. There are a select number of people who I think understand very well. But mostly it's a topic no one wants to hear about. No one wants to hear their friend would much rather go off somewhere nice and quiet and cut than spend time with them. As far as that goes, I know I'm still sick. Being Bipolar isn't something that ever leaves my mind, not for one instant. I try to keep the blood out of my drawings and out of my speech, and usually that keeps the world running smooth, but when I have an arguement with a friend and my first thoughts are where did I put that glass I know that something is very, very wrong.

But even though writing all this out makes me feel like I've been playing victim, there's been so many good things too. Though recently some things are just a struggle to get through, there's also the calming side of life, like being looked up to as a leader, having HoTaChi beside me, and getting along with my family... Recently my art has had a great effect on me - drawing is a calming thing, and it's something all of my friends enjoy. I want to stay like this, as far as being normal goes.

But I've been sleeping well. I've been enjoying talking to my online friends as well as the people here at DA. My muse hasn't faded for a while now. It's nice to do these things, draw every day and write every day and dance and smile. I have so many things I want to get done. Everything is going so well. But at the same time, it's not.

I feel like I am everyone and no one. I feel like I am STRENGTH and yet I'm bored with the world. The one good thing about being Bipolar is that every time I touch up on it, it seems a little better. This time, it is a little better. I want to say 'it's that simple,' but I suppose I shall sound like a fool if I brush it off like that.

You can expect more from me. I want to keep drawing and writing and sifting through artwork and anime and manga and yaoi. It makes me happy to do normal things.

That is what I will do; keep moving on. That's what I've always been doing, I think.

CHIKARA

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12249053/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12249053/ Mon, 19 Mar 2007 17:56:46 PDT _<; I'd like to get into Death Note or even X, but both have long-running volumes that I can't afford. Oh well. Another day.

Anyway, here's my reason for posting; a list of things to come. Art, that is. =3 This is half a reference to myself and half for the curious. Remeber, no stealing ideas or the angel of death shall mark you. And please, no requests. The only 'requests' on my list anyway are things that me and my best friend brainstormed together. Thanks

TO DO:

-Sketch: Akito, paintbrust
-Sketch: Naru/Sasu, Manga Death (In Progress)
-Sketch: Haseo, shower
-Sketch: Ovan/Haseo
-Color: AK/H, School uniform: boys
-Color: AK/H, School uniform: girls
-Color: AK/H, w/handcuffs
-Color: AK/H, w/doll
-Color: Maid!Haseo (In Progress)
-Color: Naru/Sasu, Rain (In Progress)
-Color: "You're scowling again..."
-Color: Ovan/Haseo, playboy
-Request: Pimp!Azure Kite (for Ta)
-Request: Haku (for Ta)
-Request: Gakuhai, stocking (for Ta)

I wonder how many of these I'll actually get done...?

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12040139/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/12040139/ Sat, 03 Mar 2007 12:48:34 PST
Actually, I was trying to get back into Naruto. It saddens me to see the English version on Cartoon Network, as it seems they're murdering the series. It looks like it's become something like Sailor Moon did, completely misrepresented. I think I've been scarred for life seeing little kids cosplaying Sasuke and the...plastic weapons...*shivers* Nightmare material there.

I had the manga on CD but I can't find it...Naruto Fan.com is awesome, but there's no way I'm sitting there re-downloading 300-something chapters of manga. I shall just have to tear my room apart looking for it...sigh.

Things have been going nicely lately anyway. I still have a list of things I'd like to draw, so I should be pretty active here for the time being. All of my art has always been done by hand, pen and pencil and color pencils and whatnot. Anyway, I know I'll sound like an idiot asking this, but can anyone who tends to do computer artwork give me a heads up on it? I see Oekaki and other such things everywhere, but I just don't understand how to do it or where to go to learn.

Ahh...I feel old fashioned. *laughs*

Ja'ne for now.

~Chikara

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/11895634/ http://ChikaraKokoro.deviantart.com/journal/11895634/ Tue, 20 Feb 2007 14:10:15 PST
Though most of you know I aspire to be a novelist, my muse has been on art lately. Whenever I get into a new title I usually obsess for a while. And I have my friends to give me ideas XD; Even without them, though, RJ has been keeping me busy.

I think I'll post some poems here. I didn't know they had them at DA XD! I'm such a dork.

]]> ~ChikaraKokoro