deviantART: by:Clockheart

deviantART: by:Clockheart http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Clockheart&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Clockheart en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:32:26 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png my past has ended... http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/27805519/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/27805519/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 20:50:00 PDT

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http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/25138639/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 07:18:57 PDT
you know that sometimes, a little talk, message or even some question and new things could make a great effect to your daily life?
maybe I'm really bored, with everything I have and do...so I try not to do many things I used to do, and it feels...strange...hau..
well, anyway, I've finish my jobs, and this June 15th I'm going to other city to have some training in Manga draw, I'm gonna be drawing teacher somehow -_-'

what about my dream studio??

well, live is an adventure, don't know what you'll find or what will that road leads you into, but we can predict, yeah only predict n hope

but I'm so glad that I've finish my job ^_^ (well, actually there's still one job right now...but still waiting for the client further respond)

huhuhuhu....
I'd like to thanks to those people who talk to me normally and somehow it cheer me up, and I go to party with my old friends (yay! to freelance, no need to work in office)
I do Kendo again, and it's really fun to hit other people with that big stick!

ahahahahahahahah kidding

it's just fun to do many things, connect with other people, especially if you know something behind that daily activity

so...guess I'm gonna take my time, and have some rest, and make a new concept for my art, like my bestfriend

and his girlfriend

does...

TAKE A LOOK AND YOU'LL BE AMAZED...DON'T JUST FAVE, COMMENT!! IT WILL IMPROVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS...

but, uh wow....a thousands deviations...guess I really need some times...

"And life is a road, I want to keep going, love is a river I want to keep flowing on..." ~Anastasia

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~Clockheart ~Andante molto mosso~ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/24997017/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/24997017/ Thu, 28 May 2009 12:47:32 PDT ,<
and my friends come and have a little chat with yahoo...well, we talked about many things, and again, the things comes up to the surface... why do people think that I'm perfect?
hau..it really desperate for me, since IF I'm perfect...what it means if I make some mistake, yup it's hell for me...

they will whispering and ground me down as if I'm the one at fault, that I couldn't fullfill their expectation..
we are nothing but a small human, we just do our best and try to live without regret, and that's what I'm doing right now..but now everything seems tire me somehow, I'm scared within many choices, and yet I've never share or ask many people, but today I really ask for help! and I'm proud of this, it means I'm still human yay!
but still I hope I could finish everything by myself...ahahahahaha >,< ugh, checking email and facebook to keep updating about my friends, they're funny, it keeps me smile everyday, fiuw...thx guys ^_^

okay, now lets see...I haven't update my deviant since I haven't do much work in art, I basically doing business and creating web for now (simple one) and some new artwork will be coming for my friends website, huhu I'm so exciting to do work for a friend, it feels a lot better, knowing your work in someone you know n trust
but still I want to shut that phone off >,< just silent n pretend not to hear anything

CHECK MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS:

<... ]]> ~Clockheart After a while... http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/24231738/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/24231738/ Tue, 14 Apr 2009 02:25:50 PDT but I do more active in facebook lately, there are so many old friends I could see..

it's been a while but it seems like I haven't finish anything...
and another "things" are happening, hauhauhauhau...but yeah, its fun, knowing that you could stand higher and higher..
I'm working on some Event Organizer company to make their website, not much but fun
and I still do a little digital painting, but I forget to draw new thing -_-'

I didn't go to Europe this May, and my father ask me to go with this family for a trip with some "star cruise" in singapore...but I want Europe actually...
guess I'll get my own money soon and take myself there

World of dust is already finish, and I still work on the artwork...I don't know why it's hard to crate a painting right now..
the Winter morning....it's really hard to get the beautiful color like the original -_-'
here check this [link] for the original work

and guess what.. I got the best package I ever had XD I'm so happy and it came from one of my bestfriend

and

I couldn't stop excited that day

hihihhi...I'm still a little excited till today ^_^
I have found what Indonesian thing to send to both of you...it's just..hard to get in my city

and I'm still on searching for a good one

hau...but yesterday I found something...I could solve anything in my life without any help -_-' and now I'm wondering if this is something good or not...

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~Clockheart Circumstances http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/23743252/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/23743252/ Tue, 17 Mar 2009 08:52:27 PDT I will be busy after this Thursday, and I will store many of my art, and I'll focus in drawing and some traditional artwork right now, I'll have to do photograph as work (much more in photo editing) and like I said before, I'll make the animation, and "The Dust" will be the first one I make

due to that I'll make and submit some new artwork with some new style (which I discuss right now...uhm I'll need more paper XD ) related with "The Dust"

I should move to Padang as soon as possible, like my father said, but I had so many thing in Bandung too. and what if my mom come back to Bandung? and my brother live alone with his dog, Milky (I'll miss them so much)... and my friend, they're in Bandung, my bike?? (should I bring them to Padang >,< ) uhu....confuse

I had to prepare and do many things in small time, fiuh, I really need some rest...and I have to repair my bike again T_T and internet so slow, why should we pay for this lie (it never work fast in normal hour, and it always cut the dial-up connection to the internet)

so long my freedom, so long past, so long...uhm..what else?? XD *darn...I should stop complaining and do my work* ....and I'll bring my shinai (a bamboo blade) and do kendo by myself >,< (no ken-dojo in Padang) <--- even the people in my kendo place annoying, somehow it became part of my life -_-' *just the kendo I guess*

and.. ouw, Dexter, I'll take city pictures before I go from Bandung and send you and Topinka some surprise

current activity:
- searching items and price list for my father
- painting a photograph Winter morning by

here is the [link]
- make my room in painting mode inspired by

and

- redesign the world of Dust
- touching 3D software again ---> 3Dsmax and Blender (hmm...what is the tools again?)

- making portfolio again, and preparing "what is studio means"

CHECK MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS: (PS: look at the monkey running between two girls, he is happy)

http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/23489359/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:59:41 PST
it's been quite after the last day...have rush everywhere without clear direction for something unclear *also*
I've been thinking about how lucky I'm and it might have more drama XD yay! Immaturity

but drama improved your social perceptions.. *real life drama, not the film drama*
really I'm still a kid inside even people told that I'm really mature inside... this double side of me actually creep me out since I could control and I couldn't...hmmm which one is it??

and by the way...I'm about to start my animation project, but it's free so, which one do you like?? (especially for those who knows my work)

- Land of Escape series
- Red Cross Blood Cross series
- The Dust series

PS: I've already make the story board for Dust opening and ending, since I got their song first..

and guess...this animation will take a long time of work...
and I'm going to see a lot more of this world, break the chain and gonna jump off to the high sky

but yes, it's quite calm now till I could hear every single rain drop in the morning, also smells the hot chocolate and coffee..
I need to take some sleep now...a tight sleep...

CHECK MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS: (PS: look at the monkey running between two girls, he is happy)

~Clockheart A BIG :OHNOES: http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/23447879/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/23447879/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 09:23:56 PST
my father really ask me much, I couldn't do many thing in one time by myself >,< just give me some more times, why everything should finish in one day, and plz give me a clear order

I should take back my "I support freedom" stamp

Here some EVENTS that happen lately:
- My family reunion in Padang (get closer to family is nice)
- My father share much about this world (at last he become a father to me)
- New camera XD (my father gave me his Nikon D80, bye my D40...

)
- Alienware excitement (I show alienware, and my father allow me to buy it) even I didn't know how n where to buy it
- My father gave me so many business plans for the future
- look at three point above this! My father spoiled me so much, because he was happy to have me back to Padang, and want me to stay with him and his new family in the future >,<
- and suddenly my father got this Europe tour ticket from my uncle, so me and my brother could go, but my brother reject it, and my father took his place -_-' happy but...

I should consider I'm SUPER LUCKY in this world, I have nothing left to cry *or time to cry..not even time to think to cry* but all of this sudden things really drive me crazy..it feels like "WHO AM I??"

and my Kendo junior just hit me hard on my head, he should hit my "shinai" since I didn't use any armor >,< uh wow...I could see many piyo running around my head... XD wait.."WHO AM I??"

leave YOUR OPINION, it might help me a lot...I'm really confused right now

CHECK MY FRIENDS: (PS: look at the monkey running between two girls)

~Clockheart Help--> Alienware?? and my current notebook spe http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/23361092/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/23361092/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 11:20:31 PST I know it's late but...my dad told me if I need one he would buy it for me, well, he just give me the money, and I'll go buy it for myself XD with some condition, my current lovely laptop become his notebook... sad, but that's why I'm excited
(it feels like my father love me and excited when I came back to Padang, and he wants me to help him a lot, and of course he also want to help me a lot)

I'm so happy, but now, the problem is how could I purchase one >,< no shipping point to my country..should I take a trip and buy it in other country...it so damn expensive then...
if I could buy one, then my job will be very easy, and animation

so much fun with rendering (well, if compared with my current condition)

this is my current notebook specs

Toshiba Satellite A305d
Amd Turion 64 X2 dual core mobile Gold edition TL-64
3072mb PC5300 DDR2 SDRAM
320GB HDD
ATI radeon X1250 graphic
Windows vista home premium
Harman/kardon stereo speaker
15" LCD display

it's also nice to do some design, but not for game maker... I want to make my own game

the 3GB SDRAM is not working that good, since it's Vista >,< it's not far from 1 or 2G SDRAM in Windows XP...

can somebody help me in purchase Alienware? my current location is in Indonesia, the closest point is (maybe) in Australia, Singapore, and Malaysia

OPEN FOR SUGGESTION XD and IF you have any other notebooks INFORMATION please tell me

THANK YOU GUYS

CHECK MY FRIEND: (PS: look at the monkey running between two girls)

~Clockheart A long way... http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/23202747/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/23202747/ Sat, 14 Feb 2009 18:54:15 PST
I have a family reunion, wedding ceremony, and a funeral, it's quite fascinate me, to see such a town (or city) that I've left for about 15 years, and I only back that day...I step on the airport, and the warm air (or it is more to hot maybe) bring me to some new world. I didn't seems to remember anything from my childhood, looking at the places which I've been there before, but nothing really comes to the surface. I just made some new memory I thought...
I arrive at 5th and going back at 9th, but due to some circumstances I extend and back at 13th...and yes, at 14th I have Bandung Kendo Cup, and since I didn't practice for the whole week, they shifted me into Jakarta's team

I begin to see the long way, how far I could go, how short the life could be...I'm asking myself again and again, but never comes into conclusion, and I couldn't help anything.. Like my Urgent Matter Journal, I couldn't help as much as other could do, and I couldn't win for the Jakarta team, I could only hold draw and get one loss, but at least I still win in Individual match

I'll submit some photos from my last beautiful journey, and the Valentine's Kendo tournament...damn, my foot still hurt, and I couldn't move fast right now

well, hope you enjoy the photos and have a nice day

GBU all

see one of angel without wing

and check my cousin

]]> ~Clockheart URGENT MATTER (UPDATE) http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22961047/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22961047/ Mon, 02 Feb 2009 09:59:59 PST
I'm sorry for travel far away, I couldn't sleep thinking about this, I take some from

and

journal: (it should contain many picture, but I can't do it now, read and follow the link into original one)

Please help if you can, and pass the word if you haven't the means to contribute.. She's one of our best and needs our help.

**Update 68% $3744 lots to go yet! Spread the word!!*** IF YOU ARE NOT SURE OF ALL THIS PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK AND READ THE INFO THERE TIME IS SHORT

An Angel Needs Help- NOW!

Folks, one of our own needs our help, badly. Those of you who watch the Angel Without Wings awards, have seen `hellfirediva.
Tina has been a Gallery Moderator here on DA and has given countless hours to the community here in the past.

The bank is getting ready to foreclose on her and her husband Mike's home. She is in need of about $6000 to get the payments back up to snuff.

I know that money is tight all over the world, but here is where small sums quickly can make a difference!

Kirk =yamiyalo has put up a journal and started a "Chipin" account in order to take donations. You can read about this in Kirk's Journal, here: [link]
You'll note that Kirk mentions buying Tina's prints. People, she won't get this money fast enough! She needs it now and needs it fast!
If you can spare $5 $10 $20 or even more it would be very helpful. In the event that we can't raise enough in time, this money will go for their relocation to an apartment.

I've discussed this situation with Tina, she never asked for anyone's help, and she and her husband Mike never expected this. She's a very proud person, as many of us are, and I'm sure she's embarrassed by it all. I've been where she is and know it hurts. I also know the feeling when you do get helped out, and your home is safe again from the "wolves".

If you give to your church regularly, or to the Salvation Army, please, take that $10 this week and donate it to help one of our own! As soon as I post this, that's exactly what I'm going to go do!

PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE TO OTHER
for more information [link]

]]> ~Clockheart Counting my steps : You are Loved http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22854519/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22854519/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 22:27:14 PST Now I'll write something I heard:

Don't give up(You are Loved) - Josh Groban

Don't give up
it's just the weight of the world
when your hearts heavy
I will lift it for you
Don't give up
because you want to be heard
if silence keeps you
I will break it for you

Don't give up
it's just the hurt that you hide
when you lost inside
I will be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
if darkness blind you
I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well, I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved...
You are loved..

Don't give up...it's just the weight of the world...
everyone needs to be heard..

well this song actually comfort me a little
phew..I don't even know where to start...I'm counting my steps
It's always there, like a city or a whole world without any people inside, and I just walk here..on earth...
where should I go? will I be ok? will there be a warmer place out there?

or really,..it all returns...to nothing?

]]> ~Clockheart To Tell You the Truth http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22794466/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22794466/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 02:05:24 PST
My internet isn't good right now, and I've walk through pages, wandering if there's something will happen..
haha, many people still thought I'm a designer..nope I'm an artist.
I enjoy art as emotion and motivation...a dream that cover every damn lies within our heart.. the design will follow, but it's not my part
phew, it's gonna be a Chinese new year soon, hope I have a family ^^ (well they're there but not there) and actually I hate human the most...I'm a human too right?? it's nice to be human, but I'm asking so many time to myself..

is that a human?? coz it's looks like some beast in human costumes..

well you might see this happens a lot, asking why can a 'human' do such a thing..
we lose our humanity gradually, but we will survive, coz we hope to survive, and the question is "Is it worth to survive?" coz we don't know what it looks like in the end...

you might question why I write some strange journal sometimes? I had no friends for share..most of them just happy-happy and this and that, I couldn't be more open..so I share through some journal, even the language still pretty strange (I read poetry since I'm still a child that's why my language is pretty strange) and I have bad "verbal-description" which help people misunderstood with me

it's fun to see some of their expression, asking what did this guy mean? is he offend me?
(I used to have best friends, many of them, they betrayed me, that's why I didn't intend to be nice)

I love spending my time gazing to the sky, coz it's so peaceful, you should try it

heu..I want to spend my time in this moment, God please stop the time(God might say: nope, it will speed up and crush a squire like you)

isn't life like an MMORPG game? except the process didn't go that well

now some might wondering, if I'm, the one you talk with lately is this man? (it happen when my mom looks my journal, and my brother still blame me)

"take your time hurry up, choice is yours, don't be late" -Nirvana
"it all returns to nothing, I'll just keep tumbling down" -Komm susser todd
"Don't worry, there will always door to the light" -Kingdom heart
"balloon look good from the ground, I fear with pins and needles around" -Tori Amos
"Places look the same, and we're the only difference" -King of Convenience

]]> ~Clockheart A little Love and Claire de Lune http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22686221/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22686221/ Tue, 20 Jan 2009 03:25:17 PST ,<

I should make 3D house design, with some specification, but not clearly detailed in proposition.. it should be easy but...
I'm not used to blender yet XD 3Ds max still easier for me... rustle-rustle*

fufufu, lately I've been submit like mad >,< and someone (maybe everyone) said to me

well, I've been thinking for a 'while', Should I put the "neat digital painting" or the "sketch" work? someone said that it would be nice if I colored and lining my art... hmm...mm..hmmm...mmmmuffin

Next time I'll submit some new artwork (before from my past artwork) it will be in full color, and it would be twice the quantity

kidding (it feels like state my own suicide if I do that)
well, wait for my new artwork

this years valentine will be cover with scream and blood T_T
I have choicse;
-valentine
-high-school reunion
-kendo tournament...
and my senior put my name into team coz we lack of people for tournament >,< uh-no!! at least I want to go to school reunion if I couldn't go for valentine

I don't have any spirit to do kendo right now...

to calm myself down, my friend gave me (at last...) an mp3 "Claire De Lune" (Debussy one and the Harp version)

a beautiful piece of classic music, it feels like in heaven till I want to sleep n cry..
I also heard another piece from ARIA the animation(game actually)
"Il Cielo" and "Graceful Way"

thx to

for giving me that song...
I still want my chibi character...

open for commission
And SEE WHAT I GET: [link]

PS: actually I want to put all the people I watch in here...but.. damn, they're so many

]]> ~Clockheart The Art and Design for today http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22594173/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22594173/ Thu, 15 Jan 2009 11:20:41 PST about a strange old woman who insist to sale her cookies, about my friend who didn't want to realize the truth, about people in the world that didn't even realize their own purpose...

there's one thing that I see from so many things and places, but it's a question...
I really look upon an art that created by human, and design to help people live better, and I see some artist that live their own way of life, defend their very own art, and some of the designer that try to make their way through life...

it's a rough road I see...it's a long rough road...
and could you survive with what you've got? I don't know about it for myself...

and I want you to forget all the rough day, Have a wonderful life, and if you have some to spare see this [link]

I want my chibi character T_T

]]> ~Clockheart Behind the Clockheart http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22515139/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22515139/ Sat, 10 Jan 2009 22:05:37 PST and no one want it to be revealed just like that...
and what if I put my own mask for a while?

here is what I would tell you behind Clockheart.
have you ever hear your own heart beat? does it slow? or a rapid speed? does it smooth or does it have a solid sounds? what if we stop our time a while..does it stop or does it still beating? that is clockheart... every second you breath, every second you sleep, every second you do your daily life..the heart still beating, and the clock still ticking

you never realize anything till it hit the bottom floor, or you might have realize it even you didn't see it...but this one leads to one thing, what do we do right now? what do we think right now?

should we run fast or should we walk on the edge, looking the beauty around and gazing till it dusk? the time still ticking and never wait..isn't that scary?

it is scary, and now I'm here, didn't know anything, never seen my childhood, didn't even know that I've passed my high school days. and every single memory creeping around and haunted in the dark corner of my heart.
and the only way out is the mask...didn't matter if I was wrong or I was right, I put on my mask and stand once again,
and this robe hides me...

if only there's a single warm and soft touch...a real honest touch..

tik-tok tik-tok did you hear that?

]]> ~Clockheart Graduation of life http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22203539/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/22203539/ Fri, 26 Dec 2008 03:55:21 PST
Guys, I've graduate from my campus

hooray...
I had a choice to make, and nothing really interest me T_T huff.. last night I'm gazing to the blue water, it's really pure and relaxing and somehow... I begin to draw many thing, it seems like I've back to become my own self.

in my graduation day, my father came to my city, but my mother couldn't come, it's strange to have someone, well, my parent near to my life, I don't know how to behave (unfortunatelly my brain error that time). I act like I used to act, well lately I have a BIG alterego..and I know I'm really annoying. but since my father come, he really annoy my daily activity so here I am.. more normal than before

thx God...and hey, I'm playing guitar now

I'm gonna write so many songs! hauhau...

I might write some journal again, since I love to tell people about story or hope, because every hope and dream we make, can cure this world, or at least that's what I belief. as Disney and my friend always says "keep moving forward" I guess I'm gonna take my shoes and run as far as I can, and I'm gonna thanks someone that really dear to me, she didn't leave when I'm getting worse, she tried to understand me even she didn't want to

(strange isn't it) well, somehow I miss her lately...it's a good sign, because I never really think about someone for the last 5 years. But it's not like I fall in love or something -_-' it's just I'm gonna back in track.

like I said in first I have some new artwork, I'll finish them ASAP and submit, hope you like it

I'll be wandering arround and if you need something ask me, I might be able to help...

]]> ~Clockheart Hello there... http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/21241469/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/21241469/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 01:15:32 PDT long time no see

I've got my notebook pc now, so I can go travel but..seems like finding a job really a hard job T_T

Multimedia division in my country didn't really developed like any other country, so it's not easy to get a suitable and nice job, so many in printing work, I don't like printing work T_T they kill trees to produce the ink

I think about going somewhere far from home so I could see the world from the other side, but lately I got many things to do, and the club I joined seems really active right now....so it keep me busy, I hope to make some progress to help build my country

still I really want to see Canada or Europe country...

Keep our spirit inside and make a big difference

]]> ~Clockheart It was fun, It IS fun http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/19778892/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/19778892/ Mon, 04 Aug 2008 20:22:38 PDT fiuw...I've been busy with some animation project, the deadline is this 15th August...and I haven't do the coloring and sound...wow, its really need more effort...

Well, I've been thinking on enter a martial art club, and I choose kendo

well, I've done kung fu before, but not finish it since I don't like the people inside the club (actually only my uncle which have the same age as me)
now I took kendo and having trouble choosing a bogu (armor)

It really discipline club, but very fun and relax between the people...also there's a 50 years old man who train as beginner like me and really enthusiastic (well he doesn't look like 50 years old)

I'll send some picture of my kendo club, and hope I can get into tournament someday

I know, its still far away... I'll get my camera active again, my sketching (hand drawing), and what else to do to enjoy my visitor?
If you have any suggestion, tell me, since I have confuse with many thing to do

but the secret for fun is "I like doing it" so I can smile even the deadline really close (that animation thing) T_T I'm about to cry now..

bye-bye and have a nice day
GBU

]]> ~Clockheart The Day off http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/19381923/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/19381923/ Sun, 13 Jul 2008 23:55:10 PDT
I just had Monday class right now, near to graduation day...and also the final exam...who..scary..I work for animation and made 10-20 minutes duration,...I had problem with dubbing but it's ok, I can use some other voices.. still have to find voice talent. phew, they change the deadline, it's forward T_T about a month faster...hope I can make it

the last day I clean my house with my brother, threw all useless things and search for artifact

I found picture of my mother when she was young, and also my father...they're different, but they've never been in same picture...I wonder why they're married -_-'

my dog going crazy...I had to bite him to make him stop...hehehehehe, put some salt, he's so tasty... kidding... after this year I'll go and move from my city

I had to work and train in my father's company, and then I go out after my brother is ready, I'll go travel around the world, so I'll buy some PC for my own

happy...but it drain all my save money T_T

]]> ~Clockheart Walking side by side http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/18314464/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/18314464/ Wed, 14 May 2008 01:40:09 PDT relax... so I walk out from my room and see some of cardbox pile up in the corner...I took a broom and sweep the floor... ah, pretty clean now, I think for a while, and then I walk to kitchen and make some coffee, uhmp* the smell fill the room (hyperbolic) phew...it's very delicious, and took some pocky

I love that snack, and just by accident my brother found one and bought it home last night... HAPPY

I check my schedule, wohoo this day I can sleep a lot, but I just remember I need to create some new picture, I coming to OC contest by

since I don't have many thing to do photograph, well I guess lately I've change so much..

I've become more sanguine, and lose my inspiration...seems it's not my self anymore, well just make some freak out and laugh out loud

after finishing my coffe, I gather my strength as I wake and move some cardboard...well last night me and my brother clean up the house, hehehehe, "throw away that thing, we don't need it!!" "that's also, throw it!!" "hey that one, fuh, it's heavy T_T" that quite fun become crazy with stuff

and after finish some area we can run and jump as happy as we can

it's been a while since I walk side by side...for the last time, I've never walk like that lately...and I confused with this... I tease my brother since I'm still single, I'm free

and I talk about many thing I can do without hestitation, and my brother make it looks like I've been lonely and it so sad T_T

why can he just make me smile

*smile smile* well I just love living like this, walk and look to my surround, no need to hurry, walk carreful on the sidewalk, drive my bike under the clear sky, smile to the wind that move cloud into the sunset and then night... enjoy my tea or coffee, and watching news (why there are many disaster -_-' )

and then it's time to sleep, I put some music and listen till sleepy, turn off the light, go to bed, and pray...and then dream will take me away...

walking side by side...it's just a simple pieces of daily life... and it will be forever a part of life

]]> ~Clockheart What do I think about http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/17905228/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/17905228/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:38:13 PDT
I took up my guitar, that I remember Vitamin C's graduation song, I search for the chord, and then I used the base of CANON in D... I try to sing, and sing, and singI don't know when I begin love to sing, ...till I haven't anything to sing, I wonder I'm noisy, but I don't care... it just me and my dog in the house...

I took my camera and walk to the backyard, searching something to taken freeze in time...hope someone to call me, but nothing, just heard neighbour chatters in a long distance... I'm relax in the sun light... there's someone knocking my gate... I jump to see who's knocking. just the security that want to take monthly taxes...I paid, I have no interest in doing such a thing, it just, I paid night watch but I've never sleep in the night, since I can't sleep...I keep everything on my own,....what a selfish I am...

I begin to wonder, by seeing the sky, this is my last semester, last grade for me in college...yes, graduation is near... and I found that I really have no sense...I can't feel anything like any other one... it somehow...makes me distance from the others

I didn't have any dream for several month, and tend not to sleep since I can't have one, but the last 5 days i come to find a peaceful sleep in nearly morning, and have a dream once more...the same girl always, she trying to tell me something, but what? and who is she?? I just know that she is someone lovely and somewhere out there.
granted a gift, I tend not to tell many of my dream, but I make the code that it contain in every single dream I have... give it to other, and in the end I'm the one who solve it...

I come to see that this is a curse more than a gift, since all my friend, those who said they're my bestfriend, they've gone, I can't even see them...I'm the one in blind

a bit lonely could work for me, since I've used to it...my friend give me a visual novel, that I play a day long (I have no class yesterday, it's cancelled) and I feel, the main character itself, He's a delinquant, that's what kind of life I live in right now...I don't even want to have such a life...but seeing the novel it makes me feel, not alone, he's worse than me

I'm doing 2D animation for my final project, since I love to draw and making concept for my portfolio... well maybe i can show you some of my artwork, I'll took it with my caemra since my scanner broke

well, see you guys, thx for the support, I'll always be here if you need...GBU

]]> ~Clockheart The Child inside... http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/16986812/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/16986812/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 01:20:47 PST
you can call me AN from now on.. A and then N, thats what my friend usually call me, well, I'm not who I am if people doesn't know, that I or the child inside of me always start to play the role, very confusing because actually we are the same...

I never leave my childhood, but now I am a grown up man, that's why I used to be someone else, that's what a child do, looking for a figure to be...usually a parents. well I live without a parents since I come to the high school, I was a kid that time, and I don't care bout that, I see my brother bleeding through the time, but I'm not.

It make me think..why am i become like this? always like to learn, try to do something new for me, do experiment with many things, breaking the habits, always try to draw a smile...

It always a pleasure to do all those things. but I have seen an angel that I have never seen. feel warm and sad... it lead me to a question,
What might it feels, hugged by father or mother?
coz I have only one hug from my mother, the she want to left and give me a hug coz she knows that I need a lil' comfort

If I still have a chance to meet at least one of them, I'll give them a hug, a big one... I've bored to hear my mother call me, and my father write an message from other place once in a year, I'm still a child inside...
If I may ask, what it feels? please tell me...

]]> ~Clockheart Who's that?? http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/16824548/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/16824548/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 21:10:53 PST well, it's sounds odd, but I guess that I need a refreshing, but I'd already refreshed...

just it seems like it's not me that I used to be... so i need some direction and take a step to know which one I can be and where am i to go...

fiuh, it's a time taking and suppressing thing sometimes...

]]> ~Clockheart A Step a Day http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/16514145/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/16514145/ Mon, 21 Jan 2008 23:01:54 PST wondering around my room, for nothing, just to feel that I'm here, stand on this ground... looking into a book cover on the table full of unused stuff, pray that I'm happy to be here for my day, this day...

tell that I need to calm myself, I wonder what should I do with it?
reading a small book named "the Secret" but my mind still can't run.

watching Tom Hanks on the movie, it's kinda funny... love his acting, still remember many movie behind me,

I take a step, a day...and another step, next day, I don't know where I'm standing or even where will I go, I loose all of my figure, at least for now.

I open a new page next day, another to go...remember me when I had to go, and I'll write a new chapter...

God Bless

]]> ~Clockheart My Christmas http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/15910309/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/15910309/ Wed, 12 Dec 2007 21:37:31 PST
every Xmas, I always sit on the floor, and watching the moon from the glass roof in my dining room, watching if there's a stars, or maybe a falling star...with a cup of hot coffee or hot chocolate

I have no Xmas tree anymore, coz the rat eat it, well but I still can decorate my room with Xmas spirit, though I have to go out from my land this December, well, but I can decide not to go.. I have tired on trying to wake this company, I guess I have to build my own business, well I do, but I still not focusing on it, not yet.

well, I'm so hungry right now, I always love a waffle and pancake with honey on the top

wow, I'm hungry...hehehe

Hey, I got this from

----- You Should have a Golden Christmas Tree -----

For you, the holidays represent a time of optimism and wealth.
you definitely have a generous spirit, and you give a lot during the holiday season.

You really go over the top for Christmas. Everyone on your list gets a great gift.
Even if you don't have a lot of money during the holidays, it's the one time you pretend like you do.

Your gold tree would look great with: All kinds of metallic decorations

You should spend Christmas Eve watching: Miracle on 34th St

What you should bake for Santa: A ton of cookies, cupcakes, and candy. You would enjoy spoiling him.

What Christmas tree you should have?
[link]

]]> ~Clockheart Dream translate http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/15870070/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/15870070/ Sun, 09 Dec 2007 22:15:54 PST
I was walked on a training...a little confuse in my mind, walked with my friend, he is in Swiss now...

I guess that I'm fallin in love with a girl in my dream, she walked with her friend in our training...don't know, she didn't even know me, is she really exist? her friend call me and ask me something, I've forget what did she asked me... then I go to my camp, and a big old building looks like a jail...
strange...

I think this is my fear of the conference this 17th, I really scare to face people that I don't even know before, but I have to be..well lets just call ambassador fro my company...(to glamor for me

)

I have finished some of my work to bend my mind, but I have a call this morning, and reality begin to tell me again and again..

kinda exciting feeling I have, well, the wind still whisper

hope I can do everything correctly and put all things in the right position

GBU all

]]> ~Clockheart I dream http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/15827098/ http://Clockheart.deviantart.com/journal/15827098/ Thu, 06 Dec 2007 20:30:11 PST
"I dream I was missing, and you're so scare...
but no one would listen, cause no one else care...
after I was dreaming, I wake with this fear,
what am I living, If it's done here..." ~linkinpark

then I have a dream, chasing the time to save someone, actually it might means to save myself,

I've peace with myself...now I'll take a step

I'm watching