http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Cold-Inside&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Cold-Inside en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 06:54:42 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/24786956/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/24786956/ Sat, 16 May 2009 12:38:50 PDT
unfortunately im terrible at art and looking at other peoples is fun but when you've got work to be done it kinda gets shoved aside. sorry all and i hope you've all been happy and well.

mad scientists for the win.

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/18493371/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/18493371/ Sun, 25 May 2008 11:13:04 PDT [link]

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling, or at least some therapy
If you get more than 20, you're paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you're fearless.
People who don't have any are liars.


I fear . . .


[ ] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth (Ha im a man)
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants

Total so far: 0

[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow

Total so far: 0

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[ ] death
[x] heaven (because if it exists them im screwed and going to hell)
[ ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] dolls (A certin kind of doll and L knows this cause she owns it)
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities (dont fear it, im just lazy and prefer doing nothing)
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes ( in england, we never get them)

Total so far: 1

[ ] hurricanes (again i live in england)
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone (lols company is nice, but i cant stand being around people alot unless i really really like them)
[ ] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up

Total so far: 1

[ ] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings (never had one)
[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed (love it)
[ ] throwing up (i dont like it, but if i feared it i wouldnt of been such a heavy drinker)
[ ] falling in love

lol im fearless....thing is if your not afraid of death your not really afraid of anything in the world. cept maybe torture. yeah if they put dental torture on there i would put it as a fear, but i bet thats something shared by anyone whos ever seen it.


p.s. mcm anime convention was today. was awsomes. cba to talk about it now too hyper. for the record no weirdos attacked me this time!!.

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17978131/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17978131/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 15:19:01 PDT [link]

SCHOOL CONFESSIONS
[x]Talked back to a teacher.
[x] Been kicked out of class.
[ ] Worn pajamas to school.
[x] Had your tooth fall out at school. (baby tooth)
[x] Gotten lost in your school.
[x] Broken the dress code in school. (like everyday.....school uniform = suit and tie.....me = trivium hoody)
[x] Completely failed a test.
[x] Left class without asking.
[x] Missed a whole week of school.
[x] Thrown up in school.
[X] Been punched at school.


HOME LIFE CONFESSIONS
[ ] Argue with your parent(s) a lot.
[ ] Argue with your brother(s) a lot.
[ ] Argue with your sister(s) a lot.
[x] Have your own room. (had 3 of my own rooms.....but seeing as i moved i only have the one for now.....might be 3 again soon)
[x] Do your own laundry.
[x] Cook dinner once in a while. (most days if not all days)
[ ] Are loud and obnoxious at home.
[ ] Wear pajamas when you are not going anywhere. (who do you think i am? a woman?)
[x] You sleep in very long.
[ ] All you do is watch television.
[x] Your parents are divorced.
[ ] One or both of your grandparents live with you.


FRIEND CONFESSIONS
[ ] You currently dislike one or more of your friends.
[ ]You are jealous of one or more of your friends
[ ]You have known a friend your whole life.
[x] Your friends are all taller than you. (one)
[ ] You have been ditched by a friend.
[x] You have memorized a friend's phone number.
[x] You have lost/forgotten a friend's phone number.
[x] You have been to all of your friends houses. (all the best friends)


HABIT CONFESSIONS
[ ] You bite your nails.
[ ] You have an odd obsession with giraffes.
[ ] You cannot sleep with the door closed.
[ ] You cannot sleep with the door open.
[] There is at least one sound you cannot stand.


LOVE CONFESSIONS
[ ]You currently like someone.
[ ] You want to kill one of your exes.
[x]You can stay committed for an unusually long time.
[ ] You get bored of your crush/bf/gf easily.
[ ] A crush/bf/gf has called you a bitch before.
[ ] A crush/bf/gf has called you self-centered before.


PERSONAL OPINION CONFESSIONS
[x] You hate George Bush.
[ ] Boys make better friends than girls do. (the same really but most of my friends are guys so)
[ ] The beach is an excellent place for a date.
[ ] Pink is an ugly color.
[x] Needles aren't so horrible.


HAVE YOU EVER CONFESSIONS
[x] Fallen down the stairs.
[ ] Someone has tied your shoelaces together.
[ ] Had a nail fall off.
[ ] Had surgery. (tonsils)
[x] Slapped someone across the face.
[ ] Killed someone. (only in my head)
[ ] Someone has called you a tease.
[x]You have been to Europe. (i live in europe.....)
[x] You have worn something inside out for a whole day.

*snore* ooooh chocolate.

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17930123/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17930123/ Sat, 19 Apr 2008 15:35:04 PDT
seeing as its something that genuinely interests me i might end up writing a giant journal on it again at some point *kinda like i did with dissecting a pigs head* .... but thats only if i have time and am in the mood (as i know no one ever reads these things except maybe hagislilsaya who hasnt learned any better yet) or someone displays some form of interest.

(for the record i am against women in combat and he was for womewn in combat)

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17832279/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17832279/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 12:54:41 PDT [link]

1.Your REAL name:

Thomas William Banfield

2.Your GANGSTA name: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)

Tholizzle (lol i would like to see a gansta pronounce that)

3.Your DETECTIVE name: (fav color and fav animal)

Blue Wolf ..... damn descisions black wolf sounds cooler

4.Your STAR WARS name: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)

Banth

5.Your SUPERHERO name: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)

Black Root (beer) ....

6.Your IRAQI name: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)

hnwiaseld (LOL pronounce THAT!)

7.Your WITNESS PROTECTION name: (both parents middle names)

James Jane (funnily enough both my parents have the initials SJB)

8.Your GOTH name: (black, and the name of one of your pets)

Black Fremlin Gremlin Merlin the 4th
or
Black Tripitaka
or
Black Monkey
or
Black Little Monkey
or
Black Baa Baa
or
Black Looby
or
Black Tom
or
Black Mimi
or
Black LouLou

take your pick

well that was a fun

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17510548/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17510548/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:16:50 PDT [link]


Info
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[ ] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I've had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[x ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x ] I'm in school
[ ] I have a job
[x ] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[x ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public. (but only at the side. and i safely sealed it with safety pins that jab me to this day)

Health
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment. (kinda. i was dyslexic....and then i wasnt.....)
[x] I've gotten stitches/staples
[x] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[x] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[ ] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas. (thats not fair i dont have any)
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from myspace. (all my friends have myspace. i hate it)
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[x] I'm single.
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[ ] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship. (i kept many things. i even carry a few of them around with me EVERYWHERE)

Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger. (well been kissed by someone i had met twice :/)

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house. (push over parents, never needed too. i go for walks at 3 in the morning.)
[ ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test. ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17135104/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17135104/ Sat, 01 Mar 2008 15:31:41 PST
was great fun. unfortunately when i visited medway tattoo the piercer wasnt in so i couldnt get anything done :/.

also i had alot of fun winding up the evil bitch who was there although i feel kind of bad when i moaned at her for not eating anything and i said 'at that rate your going to be an anorexic bitch' (she was already a stick) and she then pointed out she used to be anorexic :/.

and to top it all off there was me ready to walk home with tom and lawrence says 'oh my dad is giving you guys a lift home if thats okay'. i said sure and thanked him. then when his dad arrives there is only 2 spaces in the car. we said lawrence could sit on mine or toms lap. lawrence said okay. he talked to his dad in chinese and then he was like 'okay if Lu gets in first, then tom.' then he waved goodbye and his dad drove off to drop us off and come back for lawrence. i was like 'noooooooo - i would rather of walked than left him alone' (especially as lawrence is kinda afraid to walk around at night on his own).

:/ other than that it was awsome.

*realises i sound harsh with the bitch stuff* okay explanation : first time i met her she was attacking lawrence (not visciously but more than just playfully) i stopped her and said why etc. she said he was annoying. i said he was lovely. i said i wouldnt let her just keep hitting him. she said 'im an evil bitch and you dont want to mess with me.' and i ended up just holding her arm and keeping her out of reach of lawrence until he left.

thus evil bitch. it was the only name i knew her by and she chose it herself so i dont consider it harsh to call her that at least. but i still felt bad about the anorexia thing :/. was bolemia aswell. not good. self-proclaimed bitch or not i feel sorry for her and im glad she is better now. plus she isnt that bad.

on the other hand im stuffed and it was still an awsome night. much <3 <3 <3 to tom and lawrence and bharat. happy birthday to liz, grrrr to the evil bitch and nice meeting you to the other two :/ (rachel and anne-marie i think....maybe.....damn names)

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17075377/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/17075377/ Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:01:41 PST
listening to some serious incubus and desperately wanting to go and see them again.

they rule, only comment : they didnt play 'a certain shade of green' - my favourite song :/.

A certain shade of green,
tell me, is that what you need?
All signs around say move ahead.
Could someone please explain to me
your ever present lack of speed?
Are your muscles bound by ropes?
Or do grudges cloud your day?
My sources say the road is clear,
and street signs point the way.

Are you gonna stand around 'till 2012 A.D.?
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?

Would a written invitation
signed, "Choose now or lose it all,"
sedate your hesitation?
Or inflame and make you stall?
You've been raised in limitation,
but that glove never fit quite right.
The time has passed for hand-me-downs,
choose a new, please evolve,
take flight.

Are you gonna stand around till 2012 A.D.?
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.

Green? What are you waiting for?
Said what are you waiting for?

A written invitation?
A public declaration?
A perfect constellation?
Remember when you procrastinate you choose last
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.
Are you gonna stand around till 2012 A.D.?
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.
What are you waiting for?

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/16640441/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/16640441/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:22:31 PST He who brutalizes the timeless stage.
He is the mongrel, he wants it all,
He lives for relics, hang on the wall.

Don't you wanna ride it?
Educated Horses
Don't you wanna ride it?
Educated Horses

Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?
Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?
Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?
Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?

She who looks back, and she looks away,
She internalizes the motion wave.
She is the butcher,
She wants the air,
She hides the scars under her hair.

Don't you wanna ride it?
Educated Horses
Don't you wanna ride it?
Educated Horses

Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?
Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?
Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?
Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?

Don't you wanna ride it?
Educated Horses
Don't you wanna ride it?
Educated Horses

Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?
Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?
Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?
Foxy, Foxy, what's it gonna be?

Don't you wanna ride it?
Educated Horses
Don't you wanna ride it?
Educated Horses

-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------

i dunno why but deviant art doesnt seem to like me these days. it seems to be getting slower every time i use it. not only that i seem to able to predict whenever it undergoes system maintenence...... because thats when i choose to go and submit deviations.

ah well. i guess its all relative, but i havent been able to do so much drifting. im in the mood to look at peoples work but its frustrating. loading pictures just turns that slowness into an extreme. its probably my isp and the system maintenence combined but seriously it takes me so long to just reply to messages in my message centre that i get bored and give up after like 2 lol.

i promise eventually i will catch up on your deviations and all, but for now im gonna take a break and just check back every now and then to reply to comments. sorry :/.

love you all, and remember to enjoy life and be well.

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/16581198/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/16581198/ Sat, 26 Jan 2008 12:40:56 PST
I Love cats, and i agree no man should ever kill a cat. the above passage (excuse any typos or grammatical errors i made copying it from the book) is the begining of a tale called 'The cats of Ulthar' by H.P. Lovecraft. i have been reading his books for a good few hours today and i must say thus far it has been pretty darn amazing. i have read in total 12 of his stories and the variaty and style of his work is astounding. truely i have never read such a well worded set of stories, and no book i have ever read has come close to creating the same whimsical atmosphere.

my greatest thanks to my good friend joe who gave me the first story to read and thus got me addicted.

on a side note i have been watching more Kurau: phantom memory. its funky. and im pretty sure by now that the weird 12-year old with 22-year old lesbian relationship isnt gonna get sexual. afterall they moved house and now sleep on seperate blankety things (the house has no furniture) next to each other. and after 5 episodes im sure they would of at least kissed if it was gonna go that way. still its been pretty weird. the good thing is the rest of the anime has been cool and made up for it.

and also i have the first 3 words of the theme song stuck in my head ' Daiteite Mune de' fun fun when reading :/.

hopes your all doing good and enjoying life as always. i know one or two have been down recently but i am sure things will pick up and you will feel better. just remember to find what makes you happy and hold onto it. that way even if your world falls apart you will always know where to find it.

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/16474834/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/16474834/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 12:39:45 PST

hopes everyone is doing okay.

today i found myself downloading video game photos and 2 chains of thought formed in my mind.

1. wild arms 3 is such an amazing yet un-heard of game
2. why is it most video game lead males are so feminine, cool but feminine? - and by extension - is it somehow gay that i just changed my desktop background from a picture of a cool and beautiful woman to a cool, black-leather clad feminine man?

well i guess as far as the last part (the desktop background goes) - possibly, but no one will notice, and i like it, so why not. besides its mugetsu - he is so crazy you cant help but love him and his insane rabid puppy dog eyes. *puts on mugetsus songs*

*edit: random religious babble PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENCE - but there are both some funny and genuinely profound points made in the following statements*

If you don't even give a thought to the wackos on the streets that go around saying they are god, why on earth would you believe some guy who went around saying it two thousand years ago?

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - woody allen

If Jesus was hung, would we pray to a rope?

It's hard to be religious when certain people don't get incinerated by lighting bolts

If you talk to God you are praying. If God talks to you, you're schizo.

Christians are quick to scoff at the absurdity of other religions when most fail to realize they worship a book that contains talking bushes and donkeys.

The fact is that far more crime and child abuse has been committed in the name of God, Jesus, and Mohammed than has ever been committed in the name of Satan. Many people don't like that statement, but few can argue with it.

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

God wants spiritual fruit not religious nuts.

The reason I know I am God is because one day as I was praying, I realized I was talking to myself.

We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.

Some people get angry because God put thorns on roses while others rejoice because he put roses on thorns.

God doesn't need to punish us. He just grants us a long enough life to punish ourselves.

All extremists should be taken out and shot.

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/16165828/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/16165828/ Sun, 30 Dec 2007 11:42:37 PST
hope your all doing well.

enjoy your new years.

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15926462/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15926462/ Fri, 14 Dec 2007 04:40:35 PST
the message said that a friend of mine, Stephen Odle had passed away last night. it did not say how, only that many doctors tried hard to save him.

if i had to name one person who got me through last year, it would of been him. we were not the closest of friends, and i have many other friends i consider closer. but at the same time steve was always there, sitting next to me in chemistry and physics, keeping me sane. he was there to explain the physics i never understood, and he listened when i was explaining the odd thing to him in chemistry.

almost every lunchtime and free me, him, yolanda and adam would sit and play cards. there were usually others that came and went. there wernt often days when it would be just us. 95% of the time we had other people join in, and sometimes we had one of us missing. but still it was always a combination of the 4 of us + guests.

to be honest though when he left the school, we didnt end up talking much. partly my fault with our main line of communication being msn and me not being on often or being on but away or busy. i still talked to him on msn occasionally though, and i would see him and stop and talk to him once every few weeks or so (he walked home past my school). still where he left the school i hadnt talked to him much since the start of august.

i dont really know what to say. he was a damn nice guy. he used to joke and laugh alot, but i cant remember a single time him putting someone else down. even as i sat there saying how bad our physics teacher was and insulting away he would laugh and agree, but he never insulted the guy.

i dont know how some people will react when i tell them. i know there were people out there who didnt like steve. not in the sense they hated him, not at all. they just thought he was 'weird' (but to be honest im weird. and we have already proven the very same people who laughed because they theought he was weird are sados who have no life). i guess you could say its partly guilt aswell. if they insult him now im just going to get angry. but it kinda reminds of all the other times they insulted him. they never did it to his face, but they did do it around me. and its true i would defend him. they would insult him and i would be like 'actually i quite like steve'. i even told them i missed him. but i just feel like i should of done more to shut them up.

in the end i guess what happens happens. still steve was 18. i cant believe he is dead. i truely hope this is a sick joke. i would say that i hope he is in a better place. but i dont believe in heaven or hell or god or an afterlife. but its things like this that make me wish those things do exist. i wont deny i read the message and within 10-15 minutes i found myself praying he found peace. i have not believed in a god for many many many years. i dont even remember praying when i was a child. but i just wish that wherever he has ended up, he has found happiness. some sort of recompense for his life being torn away at such an unfair age.

steve was an awsome guy. im not quite sure what more i can say. he will be missed, but i hope he is in a better place.

*confirmed its not a joke. he died of sudden illness thats yet to be identified*

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15536254/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15536254/ Fri, 16 Nov 2007 16:13:57 PST
he spent those 23 years in the only prison ever to be closed in america for 'human torture'. it was truely horiffic. i will give you a summary and then if you want to know more i will let you do your own reasearch. to be honest nothing compares to hearing the full story. thus i can almost guarentee i will get into this and rant for ages. bear with me its WORTH HEARING.

as a child he was stalked by a man who one day clubbed him with a large stone (causing brain damage) and raped. he was then repeatedly abused in similar circumstances over many years. he turned to alcoholism as an escape. eventually he turned to drugs. he ended up being thrown out of his home at the age of 17. he lived on the street, still addicted to drugs for many years.

he turned to stealing cars and similar crime. one day a police officer pulled him over *quite rightly you would think* and in the course of the arrest put him in a strong choke hold for a prolonged period of time. nick of course pushed the man back and a scuffle ensued. the police officer drew his gun and in the scuffle the gun discharged into the ground. nick at that point raised his hands and co-operated. he was a scared 21 year old. he got into he back of the car, and the police officer called in that shots had been fired. however he claimed to of been attacked and held hostage at gunpoint by nick. when reinforcements arrived nick was ALREADY in the back of the police car wondering what was going on. the policeman accused him of holding him hostage and he was taken in a police van, kicking and screaming his innocence to the police station where he was jailed.

he knew he was waiting quite some time for trial. he was charged with various crimes including attempted murder and kidnap of a police officer. he knew if they found him guilty he was in prison for a long time. after some time (i think he said 3-4 days) he was desperate. 21 and about to be jailed for 20+ years.

this isnt anything to what he would be getting.

he admits what happened next was his biggest mistake in the world. honestly considering his age and the bs they were charging him with, i dont blame him. he read a newspaper. a woman had been kidnapped, violently beaten, raped and stabbed 6 times. nick thought if he could provide some information they would let him go. of course he didnt have any information, but they didnt know that, he lied. they gave him a hot meal, congradulated him. they even got the policeman to admit to lieing in the charges. in front of however many policemen he said 'I EXAGERATED THE CHARGES. HE DIDNT REALLY DO *whatever*'

he was still kept in his cell etc, but they were alot nicer to him. all of a sudden that stopped however. a few days later once again they took him away from his cell. no hot meal this time. he was greeted by the words 'why did you do it nick?' all of a sudden he was being accused of murdering and raping this woman.

a media storm ensued despite there being no connection between the two. someone who was in the cell next to nick for one night however came forward and told the police nick had confessed to him.

nick however was at the time of the murder having dinner with his family. they vouched for him. 26 miles from the crime. it was the word of his family vs someone who was imprisoned for burgalry.

nicks first trial came up eventually. the police officer who had arrested hims story. the guy apparently went a bit nuts. he exagerated to try to make himself sound like some hero. the judge however was for jailing yarris. needless to say the police officer got rather into the story, really making stuff up. specifically he said 'yarris punched me twice in the face' and later he said yarris hit him in the face with the handle of the gun and almost broke his nose.

the evidence the policeman provided for all this stuff was a single photograpg of a 2 inch scratch on his hand where yarris 'apparently' took the gun from his hand. the defence asked one single question. 'if nick punched you in the face twice and hit you in the face with the gun.....why didnt you photograph that?'

the policemen paused. the he said 'i didnt want to photograph my pretty face all messed up'

needless to say the case was throw out. the jury laughed and that was that. the judge didnt seem happy about it. the prosecutor threatened yarris to his face, and to everyone in the courtroom - he said 'you will never leave this state alive'
<... ]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15451358/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15451358/ Sat, 10 Nov 2007 15:45:22 PST
The party was awsome. i will keep this one brief i promise. the party was the weekend after halloween. was the most fun party i have been to in a long time. only disadvantage was quite a few people were sick (4 by my count although im told there was a 5th).

now i have had my drunken throwing up moments, but they have been in my own home, and i learned from them. so despite them having a lethal "punch" that im quite sure could strip paint (lots and lots and lots of vodka, a bottle of archers, rum - god knows what else) i didnt throw up. i was incredibly incredibly drunk. i got through 6 bottles of good ole ale. (true beer, not larger - all in fullpint or 550ml bottles and stronger than larger) i also had 1/4 of a bottle of apple wine (17% and i had my fair share of the bottle) and of course - 4 cups of the "punch".

was a good laugh though. i thoughroughly enjoyed talking with people. i love it when you click with people. me and ryan somehow got onto rollercoasters and i said 'dueling dragons has got to be the best roller coaster ever' and he was wearing a pair of dueling dragons dog tags lol. so we both loved the ride and we both wore dog tags .

some other random nice people. and one guy did go as the crow, but unlick what southpark would have us believe he was really cool and wasnt just dressing up as the crow to look hot and pull. hes the guy i went to incubus with. man i love incubus. i gotta do a journal on seeing them at a later date lol.

yeah so i got smashed, then i looked after various very nice ill people. then i went to bed sleeping in the sofa bed with one of my sisters friends. i was actually really relieved in the morning when i sobered up and realised i could very easily of woken up hugging her - i have been known to do that. but i didnt. and then i was a bit miffed that they had told me to sleep next to her, i slept next to her assuming they had told me to sleep there because there wasnt anywhere else..... turns out the sofa next to me was completely free. whats more i have slept on that sofa millions of times and would of prefered that to chancing sleeping next to my sisters friend.

anyway yeah was funky. next time i remember im gonna ask loz if he wants to create a deviant art account. show off some of his funky digital art. .

]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15403273/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15403273/ Wed, 07 Nov 2007 08:48:04 PST
background: I have a biology class of 4 people. we were promised we would be doing eye dissection at some point this year.

story: I turned up to my biology lesson and everyone was standing up looking a bit odd. I naturally asked 'whats up?' and they replied 'we have eye dissection today.' fair enough I thought. then my teacher walks in and informs us when she got the eyes, they didnt just give her the eyes. she got the whole pigs head. at that point the 2 girls in our class decided they couldnt handle the thought of that, so they left. their loss.

so me and paul (the other guy in my class) sat there talking to a chemistry teacher who was trying to scare us with stories of him cutting the eye open and the juices squirting out at everyone. then my biology teacher walks in with half a pigs head. she sits down and paul takes one look and recoils, favouring to watch from a distance. i stood next to her as she poked and jabbed at it.

the pigs head was just like any other pigs head. it was definitely fresh and gooey. the skin was still the pale pink of any other pig. looking at it from one side you could barely tell it was dead. however this pigs head had ben sliced in half. we got the slightly larger side, so we still had the tounge, sitting there lifeless in half a jaw. congealed blood a violent red in places. it hadnt yet turned brown, but at the same time wasnt liquid. the snout had been sliced at the end. it was dangling by the thinest bit of flesh. you could see all the carilage in the nose that kept its shape, not to mention the large nasal passages. it had horrible teeth. my biology teacher later went on to say how its teeth were corroded and covered in plauque. she confessed that the pig couldnt exactly brush his teeth, but even so the teeth shouldnt be as corroded as they were, considering pigs in this country dont live more than a year or so.

one of the only things that creeped me out about the whole expierence was the way the pig had died with its eyes open, and its eye was milky white with a blue iris. It wasnt creepy creepy, but i wouldnt like to wake up with that staring at me.

next thing is next. my biology teacher began, saying we would dissect the eye first, but she had to cut it out of the skull. at this point I realised there were no gloves present, unlike other dissections where we used gloves. I asked her, and she said we wernt going to use any. I wasnt sure how I felt about that at the time. I dont like handleing raw meat, but I had many times when cooking. It turned out to be fine. Didnt bother me one bit.

she decided the best way to get its eye out was to cut away the tissue around the eye and then slowly work her way slicing the muscles that move the eye. paul was disgusted by this. i dont really understand why. he seemed fine dealing with the eye itself (although he refused to touch the pigs head itself, once the eye was out he did all that and had it dripping all over him no problem). anyway once she had cut a nice square of flesh off, a few inches by a few inches. its eyelids in a square of flesh. it could almost of been asleep. i could imagine that just being a section of a sleeping pig in a photoshop picture. my teacher handed it to me when i said it looked weird. this was the first touch of pigs head. i found myself opening and closing the eyelid and scaring paul with it. by then my teacher had the eye out. she decided it should be paul who dealt with the eye. he didnt object and stated 'it will probably be better once i start doing it myself'.

first he was told to cut open the back of the eye and get the lense out. he did it with relative ease considering the stories. not a single splash. a clear goo slightly tinted black oozed out. he poked it and a thicker jelly section came out. this was the lense. our teacher picked it up and put it onto a piece of scrap paper to demonstrate how it magnified writing. it was interesting. i sat there moving it around why paul was told to turn the eye inside out. he widened the slit on the back but was struggleing due to the tough sclera. he asked for my held and i widened the hole more. then with paul holding the eye i tried to turn it inside out over his finger. we almost had it and he made a few last slits and that was that. the eye was inside-out over his finger.

it was odd considering it was an eye. it was black inside. i knew it was in theory, but actually seeing it was somehow odd. you could see pauls finger inside the eye through the front of the eye. by this point alot of the juices with small black chunks had run down his hand and arm. they were even starting to dry in.

he decided not to take the eye off his finger and watched my turn at dissection with it still there. my jon was removi... ]]> ~Cold-Inside http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15144322/ http://Cold-Inside.deviantart.com/journal/15144322/ Sat, 20 Oct 2007 13:35:04 PDT
today i was at the MCM london anime and manga expo. was funky. (thanks to my beloved comrad tom who introduced me to it a year ago and took me up there). i got a lot of pictures, some of which i intend to submit.....but more importantly i had a really funky time with my friends, met a load of new funky people and got alot of anime stuff.

overall it was great, but i have to admit what stands out most is the fact out of 5 of us, im the only one with not just one weird story but 2 weird girl stories to tell. something must be wrong with me and make me a target.

the first was just when me and tom were walking along. a girl sitting down at the side stood up and said in front of me 'all i want is a hug' then walked maybe 4-5 steps up to me and hugged me. this was not a light hug, this was a full on, arms locked, head flat against my chest hug. i stood there rather confused and unsure what to do. i hugged for about 3 seconds and then lifted my arms but she was still latched onto me. then in a moment of awkwardness i just started talking to one of her friends in the hopes she would get bored and unlatch. she didnt, it was only when i went to take a picture of a guy dressed up as spike spiegel (from cowboy bebop) she actually let go. im not exagerating when i saw she was hugging me for like 2-3 minutes. a total stranger in the middle of the place.

its normal to hug random people at these things. hell people walk around with signs that say 'free hugs' and such. its a really relaxed and friendly atmosphere. still that was just weird. tom even said after when i was telling kate about it 'yeah she was scarey'.

the second weird girl was one that came and sat near me. it was a long stone benchy thing that was really long. literally 20-30 meters no trouble. anyway this girl with grey hair (which i will admit i like grey hair and thought it was cool) came over and on this whole bench sat a few feet from me facing the opposite way. however she looked round and stared at me.

as i stated its a friendly atmosphere at these places, and i turned around when i noticed her clearly staring at me from like 3 feet away and said 'hi random person'. she talked for a bit and she said she was waiting for her friends. i then noticed she didnt have any shoes on and pointed that out in an 'oh you dont have any shoes on' kind of remark. then she explained her friends had taken her jumper, t-shirts and her shoes and socks..... so all she had on was a jacket and a pair of jeans (and i would assume underwear of course). she wasnt revealing anything, her jacket was big enough so you couldnt tell she was without clothes underneath.

the thing that i found creepy is why is it when her friends took the majority of her clothes she decided she would come and sit next to me (on this huge bench with enough space for 30-40 people to sit comfortably on due to its length) and stare at me. i mean she seemed nice enough, and i kinda felt bad when we had to go because it was leaving her all alone and semi-dressed outside in the middle of london. still why come and stare at me when she could of been actually looking for these friends that stole all her clothes lol.

she didnt do it weirdly, but she asked if i had hugged her earlier and i said no, so she gave me and kate hugs as we were leaving. still maybe its just me but that seemed mighty odd. such is life i guess. why did i have to be the only one to be targeted by these people lol. i didnt mind with either of these 2 things, i just thought it was really really weird. but it seriously makes me think there is something wrong with me that attracts these situations lol.

overall it was great anyway. loved it. put me in a good mood.

]]> ~Cold-Inside