http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ConfusedSoul&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ConfusedSoul en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 12 Dec 2009 01:22:33 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/7110336/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/7110336/ Mon, 21 Nov 2005 23:37:29 PST
Snow
My GF to be happy
World peace (yeah so what if it wont happen)
CDs and money (I cant be completley selfless)

Anyway I hope your all having a great November and Happy birthday to my buddy Josune!

PS I know my profile says im gloomy but im really not, I just think that guy chillin in the rain is sooo cool so I gotta keep em around. For the record at the moment im stressed but still happy. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/6549510/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/6549510/ Mon, 19 Sep 2005 19:52:45 PDT Anyway ill reintroduce myself. My name is Max Knowlan im 15 years old, write angsty poetry and am a total nerd. I shall be posting some writing, hope it gets read by some and I look forward to viewing all the art of people I used to watch (and still do).
Good to be back
Max

PS 1000 new messages...I dont think im gonna get around to reading them, im sure they were all fantastic though. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/4290932/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/4290932/ Mon, 10 Jan 2005 23:53:32 PST
Ladies and gentlemen, and fellow poets . . . It's now time to declare the winner of the largest cash prize ever awarded to an amateur poet . . . Our Poet of the Year for 2005 . . . and Grand Prize winner of $20,000 is . . .

Max Knowlan!

HAHAHA such bullshit, I love scams.

Anyway lifes goin ok, stuff has happend then other stuff happend....I think I still like Hobag *sigh* and I havent been to therapy in quite a while
Ill try to write some poetry about blood or snow or somethin sometime soon

Old habbits are hard to break, and knifes are pointy.

Wave of babies.... ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/4159048/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/4159048/ Sun, 26 Dec 2004 01:48:02 PST The day went ok
Felt like shit in the morning (like stab self shit)
Then my moms ex came over which was great cause I hadnt seen her in a while.
Then grandparents came over and we opend presents (besides world peace, happy friends and a signifigant other I got everything I could have possibly wanted) then we ate and I still feel full and sleepy from the turkey.
So how did your christmases go? So far only one person has had bad things to say (and Holden will probably bitch when he returns home)
Oh and happy boxing day.


By the time you finished reading this sentence, 3 million chinese people will have been born.
Freaky eh? ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/4095989/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/4095989/ Sat, 18 Dec 2004 14:16:08 PST Had a band concert last Wensday I played ok I suppose, and my old band teacher Mr.Guy thought I was a girl (hooray for long hair)
Also love sucks and I need to break my writers block (and yes those do have something to do with each other)
Also my good buddy Hobag is pissed at me and he wont tell me why. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3952378/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3952378/ Mon, 29 Nov 2004 22:50:41 PST All I need is a really deppresed Darnel and the most recent chapter of my life will be starting all over again (pretty much)
For those of you that dont know what the hell im talkin about, thats to bad. Maybe if you ask me on MSN ill be nice enough to tell you. And for those that do know, it would be apriciated if you kept your mouth shut thanks. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3913735/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3913735/ Thu, 25 Nov 2004 00:58:14 PST Today on the other hand. My senior band had a concert at Hambur (was a lot better then my last vist to that school) and I didnt TOTALY suck, also we got to here Churchhills senior band play The Little Mermaid. Also I didnt get beaten to a bloody pulp by any gangs, guess they were just tryin to scare me. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3889773/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3889773/ Mon, 22 Nov 2004 01:00:26 PST Updates on life
My feelings for skinny little asian boy are starting to decrese which is a very good thing
Im in therapy now which is much better then I thought it would be, all me and my therapist do is talk about my problems for 20 minutes then gab philosaphy.
School is still horribly boring but I am thinkin about going back to classes soon.
I have a band concert on Wensday which im horribly nervous about because I have to play Santana-Smooth which is kinda hard cause I suck at druming.
Also on Wensday I might get jumped by some local gang.
Happy birthday Josune (even though your birthday technicly ended an hour ago) ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3720653/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3720653/ Sun, 31 Oct 2004 22:53:20 PST Waddya do when you feel like stabing those that you love?
Fuck em all
Fuck school
Fuck the world
Fuck life
Sounds like a good idea

Happy Halloween
Happy birthday Isaac
Happy birthday Adele ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3609034/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3609034/ Sun, 17 Oct 2004 07:48:50 PDT Fuck life is hell, yet I keep thinking I deserve something worse....oh well time for punishment. The knife will make things better. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3542363/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3542363/ Fri, 08 Oct 2004 12:59:41 PDT In other news my friend from outta town is comin to vist me and I have to think of something we can do.
Also I think im gonna fail planning and never graduate (which isnt such a bad thing) it probably isnt helping that im in planning while im typing this and should be working but whatever.
Happy birthday to my mommy. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3483695/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3483695/ Thu, 30 Sep 2004 20:12:57 PDT Everything was goin fine till Hanson started asking me why I was so sad, so I told him that one of the reasons was cause I had feelings for him, he just stared at me for a few seconds then walked away.
Ahhh well I guess ill have to see what he thinks about this which I can hopefully find out tommorow unless ive scared him away. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3458746/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3458746/ Mon, 27 Sep 2004 14:46:07 PDT In other news having feelings for a straight male really sucks...although I do love the look on peoples faces when I tell them I like Hanson (I feel sorry for anyone that has such a tainted name)
Also suicide was spoiled by Darnel oh well
*Goes into a series of coughing* Have a nice week everyone. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3336213/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3336213/ Fri, 10 Sep 2004 23:07:42 PDT Also schools fun sometimes, our band class is soooo special, and planing sucks, sucks so much I was crying in it today (but that might not have been about planning)
On good news Holden and Holdens GIRLFRIEND (thats right, its your turn bitch) are going out (as im sure you could tell) *does happy dance...STUMBLES* (bad final fantasy joke) ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3311410/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3311410/ Tue, 07 Sep 2004 19:19:29 PDT all in all a pretty good day. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3252085/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3252085/ Tue, 31 Aug 2004 01:58:38 PDT I guess im feeling pretty good considering the situation, im not happy but im not upset either, im just kinda here being alive.
Although im a little worried cause ive been feeling kinda odd last couple days.
Went to school today to fix my courses, that didnt really work out so well and I got called a Gay Jungle a fair few times (yes I know that insult makes no sense but people are stupid)
I want to give up on love for a while so hopefully it wont find me.
By the way lots of messages, sorry if I dont read/comment on them.
Good to be back. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3213116/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3213116/ Wed, 25 Aug 2004 20:17:05 PDT ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3205829/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3205829/ Tue, 24 Aug 2004 21:13:18 PDT In other news we started Vampire Masquerade today, im a gun loving, music playing poor ass vampire named Damion and I just loooove blood.
Been tryin to write stuff but none of its good enough to post (yes I write stuff thats even worse then the crap I post) ill try to upload something soon, also photos are on the way.
Thats it for now ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3183638/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3183638/ Sat, 21 Aug 2004 21:46:27 PDT Walking in the rain in the morning was fun then my friends came over and they pissed me off soooo much that when they left I started crying, although part of that was cause of Isaac
Then I went to the gardens where we had his memorial service with Josune, Holden and Patrick who after my other friends were a refreshing experiance, we took some pictures and talked for a while then I just kinda sat there being angry and sad. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3164967/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3164967/ Thu, 19 Aug 2004 13:24:05 PDT The ironic thing is that two weeks ago I would have told him to bring it on. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3142220/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3142220/ Mon, 16 Aug 2004 20:09:52 PDT Caitlan if you wanna shoot me for puttin this in my journal you can.

By the way Sophie your picture made no sense and your horse was pretty crazy lookin (in a good way) ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3127843/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3127843/ Sat, 14 Aug 2004 22:17:28 PDT ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3095248/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3095248/ Tue, 10 Aug 2004 21:57:24 PDT Now on to less important matters, I havent been able to keep still since 2:00 PM today and its not cause im hyper, matter of fact I have no energy at all, its sort of hard to explain mostly cause I dont really understand it. Ive also been bored and feeling funny (in a bad way) all day and I cant explain that either. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3012726/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3012726/ Sat, 31 Jul 2004 17:10:05 PDT ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3012722/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/3012722/ Sat, 31 Jul 2004 17:09:02 PDT ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2984549/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2984549/ Tue, 27 Jul 2004 23:59:42 PDT It would seem I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder I know it might seem a little farfetched but it seems to make perfect sense.
The trauma would be the death of my best friend about 11 months ago and theres some other complication I wont get into now.
My brain is an asshole by the way.
Hope everybody else is enjoying there summer ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2916028/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2916028/ Mon, 19 Jul 2004 02:14:35 PDT Well not entirely true, started reading some stuff tonight and I must admit ive found some good stuff. I would start writing stuff tonight but I have some surrious thinking to do.

As for my suicidalness im a little better but still wanna do it, ah well ill just keep on fightin the temptations.
Also I gotta start eating again half a meal a day probably isnt enough I told someone id start taking better care of myself so maybe ill eat a full meal or even 1 and a half tommorow (technicly today)

Arg! Need to find those pictures (inside thing) ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2866548/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2866548/ Mon, 12 Jul 2004 18:30:38 PDT
So ya I have a lot of messages and I will reply to as many as I can, if I dont reply to something it dosent mean I dont care it just means im lazy. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2866520/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2866520/ Mon, 12 Jul 2004 18:27:12 PDT ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2816958/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2816958/ Tue, 06 Jul 2004 11:58:42 PDT Im a bit better today but I suddenly have a fear of going outside. Hopefully ill be better tommorow so I can go to the party and get that book from Sophie. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2799082/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2799082/ Sun, 04 Jul 2004 00:38:47 PDT If anyone has any good advice on how to stop stabing yourself I would like to hear it. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2675557/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2675557/ Wed, 16 Jun 2004 14:51:17 PDT Thanks to all my friends I love you all. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2601119/ http://ConfusedSoul.deviantart.com/journal/2601119/ Sun, 06 Jun 2004 23:52:30 PDT Anyway What a week, first my faviorte teacher tells us hes retireing at the end of this school year which made me and a lot of my friends cry but atleast were gonna throw him a party. Then I end up having two suicidal friends in two days fortunetly one of them has recovered and the other is on his way. And to top it all off im horribly deppresed cause im starting to hate myself for reasons which Im sure are stupid but hey thats me. Nice to meet you all and I look forward to meeting people here. ]]> ~ConfusedSoul