http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ContemplativeSoul&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ContemplativeSoul en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 11 Dec 2009 09:36:00 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/19545301/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/19545301/ Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:28:20 PDT
]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/19436420/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/19436420/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:52:12 PDT
]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12876886/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12876886/ Mon, 07 May 2007 14:23:34 PDT
Over all, I suppose school's been going alright for me. That is, if your deffinition of alright is getting slapped in the face, then yes, it's been going alright.

I saw my friend Jen today. I haven't seen her since the end of last semester becasue she graduated early. That was awesome.

Dood! POTC3 comes out so freaking soon. I'm excited. It comes out the day after school lets out so freakin sweet!!!!!

Piano recital??? I don't think so. I don't really want to participate, but I'm almost forced into doing it. Not necesarily forced, but pressured. . . a lot.

In all honestly, this journal really isn't to update, it's to procrastinate. Grr. Well, off to do a few too many projects. Why do they all have to be due now??? GL!

Any way. Peace!

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12261134/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12261134/ Tue, 20 Mar 2007 16:36:56 PDT
So I'm in an all around good mood right now. Amazing how music can effect human emotions like this. This has got to be what love feels like.

Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Intimacy is a form by which two people can share secrets and various details of their personal lives. Intimacy is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is going to last forever. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. This led researchers such as Yela[citation needed] to further refine the model by separating Passion into two independents components: Erotic Passion and Romantic Passion.

Following developments in electrical theories, such as Coulomb's law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract". Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating, such as in evolutionary psychology, agree that pairs unite or attract to each other owing to a combination of opposites attract, e.g. people with dissimilar immune systems tend to attract, and likes attract, such as similarities of personality, character, views, etc.[9] In recent years, various human bonding theories have been developed described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and or affinities.

Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of Scott Peck, whose works in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the"'concern for the spiritual growth of another", and simple narcissism.[10] In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.

(thank you wikipedia)

Well, that's it for right now.

<3 Peace!!!

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12246950/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12246950/ Mon, 19 Mar 2007 15:34:35 PDT
That, among other things have been frustrating me. My dad chooses to be an ass hole and I know a lot of kids say that, but meh, what can I say, we just don't get along. He's lost my respect and it's hard. I think I don't get along with him because I'm so much like him. I'm sure that if I met myself, I'd hate myself as a person.

Among other personal issues that I won't post here for fear that the person I'm talking about will read this. . .that's life as of right now.

I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up and realized I was searching for my pillow and then discovered that it was on top of me. Grawr. When I looked at the clock it was 20 minutes before I had to get up. I hate it when I do that because it's like sleep lost. So I slept for the last half of first period and all of second. I very blatently skipped zero hour. I walked by the teacher in the hall. Oops, if she askes me tomorrow though I'll just tell her that I was feeling sick so I was going to the cafeteria to get some water and then I started throwing up. So yeah, that's my day. And pre cal sucks. Physics is ok. We're just reviewing IPC right now. It's not too bad.

Bryce found my hat!!! I've been missing it since the summer when I loaned it to Mandy. That made me happy.

Alright well, homework. Erg.

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12108655/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12108655/ Thu, 08 Mar 2007 17:01:26 PST
After I turned around, I went over to Michaels house because he's somehow able to always make me feel better. He's a good person to have a conversation with.

I'm worried about one of my friends. She hardly talks to me any more, it's almost like she's avoiding me. I just want to talk to her agian. I wouldn't tell her what to do or what I think about the situation, I just want to talk to her again, like it used to be. Fat chance. Oh well. Perhaps I'll just have to let her go. It just hurts because I still care about her a lot. I just don't know what to do about her.

SAT's this weekend. I'm personally not looking forward to them, but hey, what can I do? I'm not too concerned about it because I'm a pretty bright kid, but I just don't want to. Aw hell.

I think Scotty got me sick. Grr. My face had an allergic reaction to something last night so it was all swollen and red. Not a pretty picture. I should've taken a picture of it though. I think I looked pretty funny.

Right now I'm trying to develop an idea for a play for theater. I've sort of got an idea going. I developed it a little more this morning while my head was still swimming. It's a little dark for me. It shocked me when I thought of it. But then again, I do like dark humor. I just hope that everyone else will understand it. Grr. It's not good unless people understand. I'll post the monologue that I wrote for it later. Right now I just don't feel like going to get it.

So that's my life. Spring break is next week. God I need this break. I'm going crazy here. I'm going to do something every single day so I don't explode. I'm going to see the impressionist exhibit at the museum of fine arts. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm going to take Scotty. Hope he enjoys it. I mean I hope he's not going because I asked him to, I hope he actually wants to go.

Erg.

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12051835/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12051835/ Sun, 04 Mar 2007 09:51:17 PST
If you wanna know, just ask.

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12004587/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12004587/ Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:16:44 PST
Ally wasn't in school today. Oh well. That was about the only bad thing about it. Theater was loanly without her, but we had fun taking pictures and videos instead, so it wasn't all wasted.

School isn't going too terribly for me. My grades are actually recovering from the slaughter of last six weeks and I understand what we're doing in pre cal. Zero hour is getting suckier (I know that's not an actual word, but for my purposes, it is) by the day. But what can you expect with a class that you're taking at six in the morning??? Not a whole lot.

Hehe, I just messed with my mood and I'm making the smiley's hump eachother. For some reason I'm getting some sick amusement out of this. What does this tell you??? I need sleep, that's what it's telling me. Either that or I'm easily amused. I'll see if I'm still amused by it tomorrow.

I was so highly strung today. Michael commented that I come in too modes: Morbidly depressed or hyper. "It's like you have a switch on your back. 'Today I'm going to be *flicks switch* sad ;_;'" To that I said, "I'm bipolar, what did you expect?" But lately, I've been in a very good mood sooo. . . whee!!!

I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm now 17. Some one asked me how old I was the other day and I automatically answered 16. I guess I'm still in the 16 mode. Meh. What can you do? That just made me think of Avenue Q. Awesome musical BTW. I've never personally seen it, but I still think that it's wonderful. This is what happens when you're in theater for an extended period of time. You're exposed to all kinds of genras of theater and then you get yourself hooked on something you've never even seen before. It happens to the best of us. I dunno, just an observation.

Ally! Come back to the light!

Beware the number 17!!!

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11990266/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11990266/ Tue, 27 Feb 2007 16:26:05 PST
I just ate and I'm feeling full ^^ Oh, and I drew a really pretty picture and I've been feeling the need to show people. Erg, have to read a book by tomorrow, but that's ok. I think I'll do alright on the test. The teacher told us that the test is over 100 questions long, but the book is hardly 100 pages long. WTF mate?

I love my friends. In a note, I told Ally that I was hungry, so when she returned the note, she also handed me a can of pringles. What luck is this?

I'm going to post the pretty picture pretty soon here. It's of me and my friend, buuuut it's not a very good picture of him, so I'm just going to pretend that it's not him. It doesn't really look like me either, but I can take the insult. (I'm the one in red)

Alright, not much to write, I have a piano lesson real soon here. Pre cal test Friday. Physics test Monday. English test tomorrow. History. . . who knows? Theater, psht, never. BCIS, sometime next week. I think Wednesday and Thursday. Sculpture, yeah right, like we'd have a test in there. The only test I've ever taken in there was the final which I scored a 100 on because it's common sense.

So that's my life.

To do list:
1. Read Great Gatsby
2. Do both history papers
3. Do pre cal homework
4. Do physics problems
5. Draw more pretty pictures
6. Piano lesson
7. Go to counselors tomorrow

That should keep me busy.

Later. Peace. <3

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11952389/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11952389/ Sat, 24 Feb 2007 19:32:22 PST
After Denny's, we had Matt Browning take us to the McDonalds where Geddes works. We waited there, walked over to Blockbuster and rented For Your Consideration and then went back to McDonalds and waited until Geddes got off work. Once he got off, we went over to his house where we watched the movie that we rented. I had a head ache the whole time, but I was still able to enjoy the movie. I thought that it was a rather funny portrayle of different actors and how they actually are and how they deal with things. I would suggest watching it. I'll be thinking about it for the rest of the night. I love movies that can do that to you.

Then we went over to Monte's house where I met his puppy, Brutus. Which I thought was an apt name for a bull mastive. At least, I think that's what breed the dog was. It was a very attractive and silly puppy. I now have scratches all over my arms, but I don't really care. I loved playing with that dog. Monte' had forgotten his food over at Gedde's house, so we went back there and talked for a while until I had to come home. In the driveway, Geddes asked me to go to, oh god, what is it called. . . the something ball. . . oh well, it's for his ROTC and I accepted his offer. It sounded like something fun to do.

When I can home, my report card brougt my spirits down a little bit, but not enough to throw me into a depression. It's freaking pre cal. And I have to ask you now, who the fuck cares??? I know I dont' any more. Right now, I don't care about much. Perhaps I will in the morning. Or not, I get to see Scotty tomorrow, hopefully. His parents might have crucified him for me keeping him out late last night. Truth is I wanted to keep him out because I enjoy being with him. Yes, I was being selfish, but that's just in my nature to try and keep a good thing around. Rawr.

So life isn't too bad right now. On Monday, I might be singing a different tune.

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11899271/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11899271/ Tue, 20 Feb 2007 18:26:13 PST
So I went to school a little late because I didn't have to show up for zero hour so I met my friend Ally by the black box where she gave me my birthday present, which was a rather large box. We walked to the caffeteria where I opened it. It was a really pretty mirror. Thank you Ally if you're reading this, you're amazing. So then we went our separate ways to our TAKS rooms. I don't mind TAKS so much, it's such a blow off test. After the test I messed around with friends and the day was generally good.

I skipped pre cal tutoring which probably wasn't such a good idea. I could really use the help. Oh well. So I have homework to do after I finish up with this. I skipped tutoring so I could go with Cale to make a promotional rave video clip because we're going to be in a competition, which is cool, but that took way too freaking long for a three minute video. Chris is being a little bitch about it so we couldn't get him in it. But I took Cale up to the mall so he could get some new rave pants and what not and I've just been driving people around all day. I dont' know how Angie or Perri could stand it. Quite honestly, I get irritated with driving simply because people in Texas are ass holes. There's no denying that. So I've been putting things like homework and all that off because people couldn't get their shit together.

I'm tired and I'm seriously thinking about just skipping school tomorrow. I'm so freaking exhausted and frustrated right now. I want to yell and punch something. Grawr! I'm just so, I don't know. I think I could really use some sleep right now, which is probably what I'm going to do after I get through with homework and stuff that evil teachers assigned us even though there was TAKS.

Today, really, was just like any other. I don't know why I expected it to be any better simply because it's my birthday. Who really cares if I'm 17 or not right?

Grr, life is frustrating.

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11866829/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11866829/ Sun, 18 Feb 2007 11:09:39 PST
Then he helped me with some housework. I think one of the pills my father gave me knocked me out. I was dusting and I started to feel light headed, so I sat down. Scotty sat down next to me and kissed me and that's when everything went out of focus and I was gone. My mother wasn't too pleased when she came upstairs and saw me sleeping in Scotty's arms. In fact, she was rather irritated. She called me downstairs and repremanded me and I just sat there and watched her face go in and out of focus. Well, eventually, I woke myself up and took Scotty out to get something to eat. That made me feel a bit better even though my nose was still running.

As the party neared, I started to feel a lot better. Ally, Michael, and Yollanda all showed up early to set up video games and such. Really, I think they were just anxious to get the party started. So we all palled around for a while and I showed them where the food was. Next to arrive were Cale and Taylor, there to set up the music. Then Perri came, and I was a little tentative because of the problems she'd been having with Cale and Taylor lately, but everyone seemed to be doing alright. After that, everyone arrived in a cluster and I lost track of them. It was quite a nice turn out.

I was surprised that people actually danced. I had expected them to just hang around the edges of the room and talk and wait for other people to dance.

I had loads of fun. Right now I'm exhausted, but it feels good. Also, two things made me really happy. It seemed that Ally and Cody made a bit of a connection as well as Angela and James. That made me uber happy when I saw Cody and Ally holding hands. When everyone had started to leave, Angela sent me a text telling me that James was cute and I tried to encourage that. Then I installed my tablet and put in a CD that Monte had made me, talked to Scotty and passed out.

Over all, it was a good night, especially since I didn't feel like crap. The pills that my dad gave me actually helped.

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11846271/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11846271/ Fri, 16 Feb 2007 18:31:17 PST
I'm sick. This came about Wednesday night. I wasn't feeling all that great and so I passed out at about 8pm without doing any of my homework. At about 10:34, I realized that I was talking on the phone with Scotty. I looked at my phone and it told me that we had been talking for nearly 30 minutes. I was amazed, I didn't even remember him calling me. When I told him this, he said that it was in fact I who had called him. This through me through a loop. I was in a semi concious state and becoming painfully aware that I could not breath through one nostril. I sat up to try and clear out my head, but all I really accomplished was waking myself up. I was unable to successfully fall back asleep that night. I believe that made me even sicker because when I got to school that day, I passed out in two classes. Pre cal and theater.

I'm currently in a play in theater called 'We Bombed In New Haven' I'm really enjoying myself, but people aren't taking it as seriously as I would like. It's rather frustrating. It's also not fun to watch my friends be eaten away by stress when there's not a whole lot that I can do about it. I'm hoping that they can come to my party tomorrow, relax and forget about it for a couple of hours.

My art teacher is having me enter a competition. He's given me about a week to prepare. I'll be thanking him for this later -glares- So I brought a bunch of photos that I've taken in the past year and we discussed possible picture ideas. I'd post it, but the paper he has me doing it on is too large for my scanner. Maybe I'll post it in two different sections. We got some pretty good ideas going, I'm just going to have to get creative with it this weekend. I don't know when I'm going to have time for all of this though. I've been putting off my homework in school simply because I've been too tired/sick for the past couple of days to accomplish much.

Geddes did something today that for some reason struck a nerve with me. Normally, we work out on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Wendesday was valentines day and I had eaten something that didn't quite agree with me, so I decided that it would be better for me not to go for fear of throwing up. Today, I didn't feel up to it. I just wanted to get home and sleep, which is precisely what I did. And then I also told him that Monday I wasn't going to be able to because of a previous engagement and his response was, "Oh come on Leslie, can't you do it after wards? Why can't you do it this weekend?" And I told him that she didn't work on weekends and it's schedualed for when it's schedualed. Then he said, "You will have missed a week of it." And I just had to stop and think, why is it so damned important. I know it's good for me, but it's not my way of life really. I'm a naturally lazy person and I know that's no excuse for not getting exarcise, but it really struck a nerve with me. Why is it so important for me to be there? Working out is more his thing that I just arbitrarily got involved in. Don't get me wrong, I really love what it's doing for my body, but I think that I really looked fine before hand. I guess I just wish he'd let it go because I intend to get back into it that Wednesday.

One thing that I am looking forward to is seeing Scotty. He can at least make me feel a little better. I just don't want him getting sick. I can see us sitting there, me making him sit on the other side of the couch while we carry on our usual conversation. He thinks that he never gets sick, but I sitll don't want to risk it.

Some of my best friends are fighting right now and it's really disconcerting. I never like to see any one fight, especially people for whom I care deeply about. I just hope that things will work themselves out and if I see any drama going on at my party I'm just going to have to kick them all out until they get it worked out because this party is not intended to be a drama fest. Also, if anyone feels the need to do anything stupid, I'm kicking them out. I know this sounds kind of harsh, but I'm not in the mood to put up with any shit. I'm going to have a zero tollerance policy going on. Personally, I could care less what people think about me, so let them call me a bitch.

My wrist is beginning to feel better, but I'm still wearing the brace on it just in case. I don't anything to happen to it because it hurt like hell the first time.

Moral of story? Life's a bitch.

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11825958/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11825958/ Thu, 15 Feb 2007 07:00:52 PST
]]> ~ContemplativeSoul http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11800645/ http://ContemplativeSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11800645/ Tue, 13 Feb 2007 15:22:05 PST
My grades are rapidly declining and I'm not sure why. English of all things, I'm in danger of failing English. And history? I mean, wtf mate? Those have got to be two of my easiest classes (save for theater and art of course) and yet, I'm in danger of failing them? Here's what I dont' get, I have a B in physics. I good solid 86. Yet, in pre cal, I have a 73. Usually, it's the other way around for people. I even have a tutor outside of school for pre cal, and still, I have a D. This I don't understand. Well, even if I do make a 100 on the test tomorrow, which is entirely possible becaue I understand what we're doing now, no thanks to my teacher, it's not mathmatically possible for me to bring it up to a B which is what I need. So in other words, I'm getting kicked out of the class. I hate how these things work out.

I'm going to try and fix these things, but I just don't know. I don't think that it's possible for them to come up where I need them to be.

Another thing I'm worried about, the SAT in March. I know I shouldn't worry about it so early, and I'm a junior right? Wrong, my father is pressuring me to graduate early, which is a nice choice, but I mean, what if I don't want to. I almost do, but I want a senior year. I want a senior prom. I want to bring my grade point average up.

So I'm the only child and my parents are pressuring me to be all that they couldn't. I don't have a younger sibling that they could turn all of their attention to. It's me or nothing.

I guess I really let myself go this past six weeks. And I may have to deal with a few bad grades on my report card. And so will my father. He's just going to have to put up with the fact that I did. They're my grades not his anyway, why does he lable himself as a failure when I do poorly? He probably just wants something good for me, like a good life.

So that's it for me. I figure I've complained enough. Doubtable that anyone will actually read this, but it's worth posting I suppose.

Grawr.

]]> ~ContemplativeSoul