http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Cookiebeast&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Cookiebeast en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:35:02 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/28794147/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/28794147/ Sun, 06 Dec 2009 18:59:56 PST I wonder at the man who hits his daughter right in front of me for no reason and why I can't do anything to stop it.
I wonder at creepy old men who stalk eighteen year old girls and what they think this will get them.
I wonder at people who think the world owes them a favor because they are disabled.
I wonder at why there are days that I go to work expecting to be verbally abused by customers.
I wonder at the vacuous greed and sense of entitlement that people have and why they feel justified at trying to screw you over.
Some days I wonder if this world is worth saving.

]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/25634457/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/25634457/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:05:23 PDT
I'm still unemployed, which doesn't at all surprise me. I just hope that the temp agency I went to can find something for me soon. ><

Still horribly bored out of my skull. Have turned to the interwebs for consolation.
I apologize for the horrible sentence structure due to lack of sleep. =/_\=

Am going on vacation next week. Will be glad to get out of the house.

TTFN



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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/25634455/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/25634455/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:05:22 PDT
I'm still unemployed, which doesn't at all surprise me. I just hope that the temp agency I went to can find something for me soon. ><

Still horribly bored out of my skull. Have turned to the interwebs for consolation.
I apologize for the horrible sentence structure due to lack of sleep. =/_\=

Am going on vacation next week. Will be glad to get out of the house.

TTFN



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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/24860697/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/24860697/ Wed, 20 May 2009 17:08:31 PDT ....Here's to hoping that something changes, because if it doesn't, I really don't know what I'm going to do.



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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/24062984/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/24062984/ Sat, 04 Apr 2009 18:27:27 PDT Things are pretty slow for me right now. Really the only interesting things that have happened are Anime STL 2009 and me becoming addicted to Avatar The Last Airbender.
Anime STL was great! The venue was much bigger than last year's, which allowed more room to run around and be insane. My best friend showed up with her husband and a few of her students from her class that wanted to tag along. Watching their confusion at Caramelidansen was priceless! (They're anime-loving inner city kids, who have never been to a convention or even understood what a convention was, so it was like a culture shock.) I met a lot of nice people, most of whom were wondering who I was cosplaying, and then commenced to squeal with delight when I told them I was Anko.
There were a few downsides though. There seemed to be an overall lack of effort with costumes, which was disappointing. I guess it's to be expected though, with the current economic woes. Still, the purist in me was miffed seeing people wandering around in Akatsuki cloaks without actually being an Akatsuki member. Same thing with Bleach shinigami captains' cloaks. I only saw one really good Yoruichi. There were also multiple cosplays of the same character; mainly Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi and Yuna. So minus points with variety. I think that's why I got noticed more, because people were curious about who I was and were appreciative that I was being different. That made me pretty happy.
Another bummer was that the wig I ordered didn't come in on time, so I had to wear my hair au naturale, so to speak. But thank goodness for the magic of Photoshop.
So that's my life currently. Of course, that could change next week. Meh...
Off to Avatar and Zuko hotness!

]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/23476107/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/23476107/ Sun, 01 Mar 2009 18:02:01 PST < I only managed to find the cheapest one at $122. *sigh* Any ideas?

]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/23239739/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/23239739/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 16:50:16 PST I'm stopping in to get some things off of my chest that really need to be said. Also stopping in to tell you I'm probably not going to be putting up as much stuff as I used to. I just don't have time for it anymore and my current situation at home is just really too fucked up right now for me to even think about it.
I'm miserable, plain and simple. I don't think I've ever felt this way before in my life. It's really horrible when you have one parent who will talk to you and one who just likes to pretend you don't exist.
I'm talking about my mom, of course. I don't know what I did to deserve this latest bout of her passive-aggressive silent treatment. I really don't. I woke up this morning and she barely even acknowledged me. Basically all she said was that I don't do anything with my life, which means that basically she thinks that I'm a total failure. Okay. Fair enough. Maybe I am. Obviously she got the wrong child when I was born. She wanted a daughter that went out on dates and was happy and perky. Well, she got me instead; dateless, depressive, and introverted. I've been a disappointment to her since I was born, and obviously that's not going to change no matter what I do. It won't matter if I get the best job in the world; I'll never make her proud of me or happy. And I'm done trying. I have every intention of *not* living up to her expectations. I just want to get out and not look back. I honestly don't even care if I never talk to her again. Because pretending that your child doesn't exist in the same house as you do is cruel. It's downright fucking cruel. If she hates me and thinks that I suck, she should just yell at me and get it over with.
She's turning into her own mother; a passive-aggressive, cold hearted bitch who couldn't express an emotion to save her life. She's doing to me what her own mother did to her; completely withholding any sort of affection unless she thinks I "earn" it or something.
What the fuck ever. I'm totally done with it. Let her just be alone for the rest of her life with her cats, because apparently they're more important than I am.



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http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/21746028/ Sun, 30 Nov 2008 10:16:25 PST
People travel on holidays. That's a given. Whether by air, train, or car, we all scatter en masse across the country (and sometimes the world) to meet up with our relatives and loved ones. Most of the time, it goes off without a hitch, sans screaming baby in the seat behind you, or the gossiping teenager who just WON'T QUIT TEXTING! *points to cousin*
My Thanksgiving went as well as could be expected, I guess. It was the same droll routine of eating turkey and taking turns saying what we're thankful for, which resulted in all sorts of gooey, cheesy feelings. (While yours truly IS thankful for all the things in her life, she can do without the sappiness, thank you very much. And I didn't eat turkey. I had a lovely dish of saag paneer.)
Black Friday lived up to its name; no matter where we went, it was crowded with mindless herds eager to gorge themselves on holiday specials. We bailed out of the mall; there was just no getting into any store without the risk of playing Body Check, although I did get tea out of it from Teavana. Hahah! We went to Kohl's, which ending up being the same thing. Target wasn't so bad. I got a new purse, which I was needing desperately. No sweaters, though, which I was also needing desperately. So after lunch and much prodding of The Dad, my cousin and I were dropped off at Town Center and looked around there for a while. I didn't find anything until the last place, Buckle, which was just kooky enough to pique the Cookiebeast's interest. I ended up getting three new shirts. They weren't sweaters, but they were too pretty to let slip through my shopaholic fingers.
Last night, however, proved to me that the majority of service workers, at least those on Amtrak, are morons. Apparently they had just started a new routine of sectioning off people to different cars depending on their destination. I, however, was never informed of this, and merely hopped on the train none the wiser. Any previous time I had ridden the train, it didn't matter where you sat; you could get off where you needed to get off with no problem.
So...needless to say, guess what happened? I missed my stop. I panicked, because I didn't know what to do. This nice family I met on the train tried to get a conductor to ask what was going on, but by the time we did, we were rolling past my station. The conductor asked my what my stop was and I told her Washington. She then proceeded to tell me in a very condescending manner that I was in the wrong car and I should have showed her my ticket. So basically the conversation went like this:
Me: "I was supposed to get off at Washington. There was no one to open the doors."
Lady: "Oh. Well, you're in the wrong car."
Me: "I was supposed to be in a different car?"
Lady: "Yes."
Me: "Well, I didn't know that."
Lady: "Well, then, you should have shown me your ticket and I could have put you in the right car."
Me: "I didn't *know* that."
Lady: "I was in the back of this car the whole time. You could have come back and found me."
Me: "I didn't KNOW that. How was I supposed to know that?"
Lady: "Well, I'll make a phone call, but there's nothing I can do."
So she just walked away and I didn't see her again for ten whole minutes! Stupid bitch! Meanwhile I was crying and freaking out because I knew I had to call my dad and tell him I missed my stop. Of course, he was pissed off, which only made my cry more. The family I was with offered to take me to the nearest bus stop, but then luckily another lady and her fiance jumped in and offered to drive me to meet my dad. That was nothing short of a miracle. So we called my dad and told him what we were going to do and thankfully it all worked out. But ONE person's mistake and ignorance resulted in me inconveniencing not only those people but my dad, who had to drive a whole fucking HALF HOUR out of his way to get me. How can those conductors be so rude? It's their FUCKING JOB to make sure that people get off at their correct stop! It certainly couldn't have been my fault, since I had no idea what the hell was going on, and apparently they weren't bothering to TELL people which cars to go in! What the hell? What kind of service is that? You don't do that to people!
><
Yeah, you can expect me to never take the fucking train again. Assholes.
"











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http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/21299154/ Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:02:48 PST And it's NOT waiting on people and messing around with nasty food! And it's actually somewhat in line with what I went to school for! And it's in the city!
So, yes, I'm terribly excited! It seems like a nice place to work, since it's comprised of crazy artist types.
The bad news is that for now it's only part time, and it's really far away from where I live (about an hour and fifteen minute drive!). But at least it pays well enough to justify the distance, and gas has come down a lot, and it's experience that I really, REALLY need. And if it becomes full time, I can actually think about moving back into the city...with my OWN APARTMENT!! *gasp* If it means I can get a step closer to getting out on my own, than I think it's a step worth taking.





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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/20660453/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/20660453/ Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:01:18 PDT I'm leaving Catholicism.
It's occurred to me that I can no longer give my support to an organization that for the last two thousand years has given itself over to child abuse, sexual depravity, torture, imperialism, holocaust, drunkenness, and the continual subordination of women. All merely to solidify the church's own position and to feed its power hungry, man-made machine. The more I look at it, the less Christ-like it seems and it has dawned on me that I have been systematically lied to and brain-washed during my childhood; I was ruled with fear and guilt rather than compassion. I did not learn. I merely obeyed. I was blinded by the desperate need to avoid hell, when in reality I had ended up becoming insecure, distorted and repressed, creating my own hell. I also cannot support a wizened old man who thinks that wearing a funny hat and speaking Latin gives him the right to tell the rest of us that he is the authoritative word of God and that he is never wrong. The Pope is a weak, fleshly creature just like the rest of us. He's as prone to error as the rest of us.
I am in fact leaving Christianity altogether because I can't take the condemnatory nature of it, the narrowness, the prejudices engendered by centuries of division, the dictatorial and arrogant attitude of (most) of its followers. (Not all Christians are like this. So no offense. Please don't bash me.)
I still believe in Jesus and God, but I'm going to take my own road. I am thinking of turning to Buddhism, since it is not so oppressive and is more flexible in the acceptance of people from all walks of life.
*sigh* I had to get this all out. I don't know how to tell the rest of my family and I don't want anyone who reads this to become upset. This is a personal journey. My words are not true for everyone. It's just that I want to explore ideas on my own and be able to make the choices that were taken away from me when I was being raised Catholic. I at least deserve that much. Everyone deserves the right to come to their own conclusions. I am deeply saddened that this is happening, but also happy because it means a new chapter is beginning.




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http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/19933199/ Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:39:18 PDT Anyway, thanks for your supportive messages in my last journal entry. (You all know who you are.) I really appreciated it and I needed it to get me through a very difficult time. But thankfully, the clouds seem to be dispersing. I've got an interview tomorrow and I'm hoping it will get me where I need to go.
Things have also quieted down at home, although there's still the odd tussle, which I think is just the result of my mother's personality clashing with mine. But I can handle that, because that's only been happening my whole life. XD
Still unsure about the whole church-hopping thing; this Sunday I'm going to check out a non-denominational place, which sounds like something up my alley. I'm not really all for labels like Lutheran, Catholic, Methodist, etc. because I think they get in the way of what Christianity is supposed to be about and it just colors everyone's opinions about each other. It's tiring. All I've ever heard growing up is that being Catholic is the only way to be, it's the only true faith, everyone else is just going to die and burn in hell, etc. It's a very negative viewpoint of the world and I just don't agree. Who's to say who is right and who is not? That's not anyone's call. I always thought someone named God decided who went to heaven and who didn't. Most churches I find just to be mired in politics and antiquated thinking, especially Catholicism, which is so wrapped up in its own rituals and hierarchal structure that I think it's lost sight of what's most important; i.e. people, the human condition, and so forth. I don't say this to "bash" Catholicism. I grew up Catholic, so I don't want anyone bitching to me about how I don't know what I'm talking about. It's just not working for me. It doesn't fit the views nor the ideas I've arrived at. I don't even think a Western spirituality really fits me period. I've been doing a lot of reading about Hinduism, Buddhism, Shintoism and Daoism, which totally fascinate me and I'm finding resonate with me more. But...what the hell are you supposed to tell your very Catholic, very Christian family? *sigh *
Anyway, enough of my blabbering on. I gotta go get some lunch and meet my friend.
Cheers!



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http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/19249480/ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 07:59:22 PDT The job hunt continues, and with no luck. There are just no jobs out where I live; all the ones I'd even think about applying for are at least an hour away, and with gas the way it is, I sure as hell am not driving. So for now, it seems, I'm stuck at my internship and stuck at home continually banging my head against a wall.


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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/17931481/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/17931481/ Sat, 19 Apr 2008 17:20:44 PDT < So that's why I'm going to be scarce around here for a while. (Not that I'm sure many will care.)
I've also moved my more polished pieces to my porfolio deviantArt site I'll leave them up here, but just know that from now on this is going to be my fanart account, not my main one. "Cookiebeast" does not sound professional.
Ja ne...until next time



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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/17580135/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/17580135/ Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:39:49 PDT What a day! I went to Anime St. Louis, which was my first ever convention, and I was very overwhelmed at first by all the hyperactive, screaming fangirls. If any of you have read my previous journals, I went as Tobi, which naturally resulted in me being patted, screamed at, and otherwise mobbed, as were my friends who went as Deidara and Itachi. We also did an exhibition, which I think was quite a hit! ^^ It was so much fun being up on stage and feeling all that energy, even if a lot of the people there were annoying.

My costume, sorry to say, didn't go quite as I wanted it to. The wig I ordered online never came in, so I had to run out last night and buy one, only to have it not look quite right. Also my mask was totally driving me crazy, because it wouldn't sit right on my face and I ended up having to hold it with one hand during our skit. ARGH! It was also a bit hard to get into character, since I really had no idea what the hell I was doing half the time wandering around the Holiday Inn. I spent more time than I wanted to being tired, bored, and hungry. But all in all, it was an interesting experience and I would definitely do another convention, though not as Tobi. (Unless I got a better wig and a mask that I didn't have to constantly fiddle with.) I want to go next time as Anko! She doesn't get enough love! Or Quistis.

I'm also proud to announce that I now own an Orochimaru plushie. *snuggle*

...And I also got to glomp an orochimaru cosplayer. SQUEE!!!

WTF? Why is my icon turned into a retarded blue thing? O.o

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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/17194432/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/17194432/ Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:20:14 PST This has been one hell of a rough week. First, my grandma dies, which totally threw everything off balance as can be expected, and then I get a gigantic crack in my windshield and then today I thought it was my portfolio review, when it was actually on FRIDAY! AUGH! I guess with all the crap going on right now, it's no wonder really. My mind's been everywhere but on school. And, I forgot to mention that my roommate got a puppy, which threatens to annoy the shit out of me with its whining and yapping. (I don't like dogs.)
.....I think I'm just going to go home and go back to bed....




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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/16462996/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/16462996/ Sun, 27 Jan 2008 12:08:46 PST < I woke up and found myself shaking so much I couldn't even hold a pencil and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. I had my roommate drive me and I feel bad for having her do it, but at the time I was in no condition to drive myself anywhere. Luckily some sedatives, an EKG and blood work fixed me up. I just have to watch my stress levels and caffeine intake. *sigh*

Jan. 27th

OMG! I saw Cloverfield last night and it was amazing! It literally made me almost puke, though, because of the camera shaking all the time and it was more like a thrill ride than a movie. I really hope they make a sequel and tell us more about the creature.
In other news, I FINALLY got some spats for my Akatsuki cosplay, so big thanks to Dad for his old Tae Kwon Do gear. It's nearly finished and I can't wait to be Tobi!!!!


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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/16099741/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/16099741/ Tue, 25 Dec 2007 19:36:39 PST It was good to see the family and drive back home, even if it was only for a day. Not too thrilled about working tomorrow, but oh well.
In any case, look for more stuff coming your way soon.


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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/15723449/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/15723449/ Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:45:19 PST
But, come on. When you're at a kiosk for four or five hours straight with Christmas carols being pumped into your brain, the last thing you want to do is shop or decorate. You want scream. Or blow up the speakers. ANYTHING to keep from hearing the latest version of "Chestnuts Roasting Over An Open Fire". How many times can they record that song?

Needless to say, I'm ready for Christmas to be here and over with.


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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/15364106/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/15364106/ Sun, 04 Nov 2007 15:11:01 PST Phew! What a weekend! Was a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding yesterday. It was fun. She did it all in Old Hollywood style and everything was just perfect. I don't think I danced so much in my life.
Today I just hung around enjoying the beautiful weather and the trees changing colors. I took a lot of pictures walking around the lake in my subdivision, so some of them might end up on here.

Aside from that, I've decided to cosplay as Tobi for next spring's Anime St. Louis. My friends are going as Deidara and Itachi and they pestered me until I gave in. I've never cosplayed before, so it should be interesting. I've never sewn anything before either. But nevertheless, I'm excited! I think the theme we're doing is a pun on Itachi killing his clan to "test his container", so we're going to walk around with Gladware. I might help out with a panel or two.

That's it for now!


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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/15078882/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/15078882/ Mon, 15 Oct 2007 19:15:43 PDT
....Am I doing something wrong?




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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/14917621/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/14917621/ Fri, 12 Oct 2007 10:16:13 PDT

Well, there's nothing to really set the world on fire. Just, you know, moving along. Hoping to find a job SOMETIME in the near future. Geez. You'd think I'd have one, but no...I needs me some money. You know what's good about money? It buys you things. Like, clothes. And books. And maybe a bigger tablet. Or anime. *sigh*

But, I do have a confession to make. *takes a deep breath and hides face* I've fallen for the Akatsuki. It was only a matter of time, really, what given my friend babbling on about them all the time and showing me all the fanart and the flash movies. So...I got curious. I looked. I laughed. I loved. Especially the masked little goofball Tobi. Because, as we all know, he's a GOOD boy.
Now, mind you, I've never seen a single episode of Naruto, never mind an episode with Akatsuki in it. I tend to steer clear of uber popular anime as a rule because I can't stand all of the obsessive fans. In this case, however, it was BECAUSE of the fans that I started liking Akatsuki. It was the adorable fanart, the ridiculous animations. I couldn't resist! Look what you've done to me! Now I'm tempted to start drawing Akatsuki fanart of my own, but I probably won't because if I post it here, that's all anyone will ever look at. *coughAnastasiacough*

So, Naruto, you've won me over...a little. But chances are I'll never watch you.

Seriously, kids. I'm having a HUGE temptation to take down "Arwen" and "Anastasia" because that's ALL anyone ever bothers to comment/fav on. Maybe if I do it'll force people to look at the many OTHER things I have here. Y'know, like photos and drawings and neat stuff like that. I mean, I'm glad people like them and everything, it's just that's not all I have in my gallery. LOOK at some of the other stuff I do! Jebus!




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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/14595038/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/14595038/ Tue, 11 Sep 2007 19:12:40 PDT There's only one class I really truly loathe. The teacher isn't really a teacher by profession, which tells you what the class is like. He makes these really unrealistic assignments and gives us information that no one understands. This is the first time I think most of us have been introduced to HD, so trying to follow this guy is impossible, not to mention boring. I have that specific class tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to wasting another four hours I'll never get back. To make things worse, the weather is supposed to be beautiful and I'll be stuck inside. ><

And WTF? My iPod just synched all my songs off! Fucking piece of shit!!!



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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/13989456/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/13989456/ Thu, 09 Aug 2007 12:59:37 PDT Even so, I miss Japan like hell. Even with all of its problems and frustrations, just the experience of being there was more than worth it. I learned so much about not just other people, but about myself as well and how to get by without my parents being only a phone call away. I miss all of the people I met there and I know there is a very slim chance that I will ever see them again. I miss being able to have all of these little adventures; going to temples and parks and riding the trains. I miss the liveliness of Osaka. And yes, I even miss listening to Japanese, even though it irritated me sometimes with the girls in my dorm talking all the time. I miss not seeing signs in kanji. I really do. *sigh*
Anyway, here's a list about the things I liked about Japan and the things I didn't.

Things I Liked About Japan:

1. CHEAP MANGA!!! Okay, so this only applies if you're an otaku, but you can get so much manga for dirt cheap, especially if you find it used. Two of my friends ended up having to send some boxes full of it home.

2. Osaka is close to everything. Want to go to Kobe? Kyoto? Nara? Osaka is right in the middle of it all. Just hop on the train for an hour or so and there you'll be. An overnight bus will get you to Hiroshima in the west, or to Tokyo in the east.

3. Public transportation in Japan is amazing. Trains are fast, timely, and clean and beat traffic jams and stoplights any day. Buses too are convenient and affordable and they don't smell. Taxis are great too, but they're a little high end to use too often.

4. There are so many cool places to see, that it would take a lifetime to see it all. Even just in Osaka. I couldn't tell you how many stores, or cafes, or restaurants there are to go to. There are also a lot of Indian restaurants, which really surprised me. (I love Indian food. ) And don't even get me started on Yodobashi Camera! I could spend the rest of my life in that emporium of electronics! O.o

5. Getting to see how Japanese people live in real life rather than reading about it. (Their lifestyle still confuses the hell out of me.)

6. Japanese money. Okay, so it sounds lame, but I think their money is pretty! I want to have the 50 yen coin made into a necklace.

7. Having opportunities to participate in traditional ceremonies. We didn't get to do it too often, but our university did arrange for us to be able to go to festivals and demonstrations that allowed us to get an up front experience of Japanese traditions than simply standing on the side and watching.

Things I Didn't Like About Japan:

1. The tendency of the Japanese to treat you like an oddity and at times be very patronizing towards you. While Japanese people on the whole are usually kind and helpful, there are always the rotten apples of the bunch. Although I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they really don't know how to talk to foreigners, I did get tired of people asking me if I liked Japanese things, (Well, *duh*, I wouldn't be in Japan if I didn't, right?) and assuming that I was just a dumb gaijin that didn't know anything about Japan. I also got extremely tired of Japanese girls telling me how pretty my fair skin and light hair were. (I like compliments, but having them said like I was a sort of exotic animal was little too much.)

2. Japanese television was another thing that I really got to hate. The only things that ever seemed to be on were cheesy dramas, samurai pieces, or variety shows with some of the dumbest subjects I've ever seen and the sense of humor was too juvenile to be genuinely funny. There are very little educational programs available either. And don't get me started on commericals. Loud. Obnoxious. Often had nothing to do with the product advertised. WTF?

3. The expectations regarding Japanese girls. It's very low compared to other industrialized countries. For all of the studying they do, girls aren't generally expected to form lifelong... ]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/13490861/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/13490861/ Mon, 25 Jun 2007 21:04:44 PDT
On the other hand, the problems regarding my home university have been cleared. FINALLY! I've been under so much stress this past month wondering if I'd ever be able to go to school again. (My university completely fucked up my account.) And it's not just me; my friends who go to the same school are getting really upset at its terrible inefficiency. The advisors never tell us anything and so we're pretty much left in the dark on important matters. (ie. when advisors change, degree requirements, etc.) So when we get back, they're really going to have it.

So anyway, I'm starving and I'm going to get lunch now. Mata ne.













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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/13116813/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/13116813/ Sun, 27 May 2007 19:29:01 PDT I don't know what to think of this country. I really don't. Sometimes, it's the best place in the world and I could care less if I went back home. Other times, I'm overcome with hatred. It's frustrating. People tend to make Japan out as this glamorous, high tech wonderland. And it can be, really. But try living here. It's NOT easy. Especially if you're white and American. That's already two counts against you. It seems that if you're American you're automatically ugly, rude, barbaric, fat and a complete idiot and you can't possibly understand Japanese or Japanese people. I can't tell you how many times that's been politely implied. I guess I'm just on a Japan burnout. I've been here too long. I almost wish I could have kept my naive and worshipful impressions that Japan is Heaven on Earth. Ahhh, what a terrible thing it is to have your expectations and delusions crushed.
Please keep in mind I'm not dissuading anyone from coming here or living abroad. It's an enriching experience and it's an opportunity to find out not only about other people, but about yourself. I'm just telling it like it is. Japan, like every other place, has it's ugly side. It's just uglier than I ever thought it would be.




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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/12749288/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/12749288/ Wed, 23 May 2007 22:08:48 PDT
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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/12557833/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/12557833/ Wed, 11 Apr 2007 18:24:51 PDT Well, off to the convenience store for a snack and then to Japanese and Japanese History.


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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11981271/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11981271/ Mon, 26 Feb 2007 22:17:08 PST Now I'm going to eat stuff. See ya.



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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11529806/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11529806/ Mon, 22 Jan 2007 12:46:13 PST
Things I'll Miss:

-Taking baths by myself instead of having to share a huge room with seven other girls.

-Having my own room.

-My cats.

-My family.

-My privacy.

-My big, comfy bed with my big, comfy blankets.

-Having Internet.

-paper towels (there are none in Japanese restrooms!)


Things I Won't Miss:

-Speaking English.

--American TV.

--American money.

--Dealing with family expectations.

--Being bored.

--Having parents fuss over me.

--Construction near my house.

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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11452976/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11452976/ Thu, 18 Jan 2007 13:17:05 PST
Anyway, that's not the point of this entry. The point of this entry is to recap my day to anyone who wishes to read my journal and therefore comment or not comment as they will. Onward.

Well, basically, it was a rather excellent day. It was very cold and it snowed all day, but the snow made me happy since I did not see it in Osaka. I'd forgotten how beautiful it could be.
Mom and I went downtown to get coffee and see me to my psychiatrist, who basically told me the same thing as my practitioner; Eat protein, get a lot of rest, etc. I still want to do an MRI because I still think there's something more going on.
After that, or well, before that, I also got to use up my gift certificate at a nice little gift shop that I love to go to. Then, after all of that doctor business, we went shopping and I managed to find some very nice clothes. Red and black seem to be very popular in America right now. Zaibach colors, anyone? So basically I have three Dilandau-theme shirts. Crazy.
Then we went home and I just finished watching episode 22 of Ergo Proxy. Very heavy episode and very sad. But Dai Sato is a genius for coming up with such a complex story. But, dammit! *grumble grumble* I want Daedalus and Real to get on with it and have sex already!
*clears throat* Erm...yeah....you didn't read that.

Until next time.

EDIT: Okay, it's next time! But in all seriousness, I will be getting an MRI and an electrocardiogram next Tuesday early in the morning. I don't know if I should be relieved or scared. I don't even know if they're really going to find anything or if I'm just imagining it all. But I can't ignore that whatever's happening to me is seriously interrupting my life and that's cause enough. My family doesn't know about it and I don't know if I want to tell them.

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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11414708/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11414708/ Fri, 12 Jan 2007 19:53:50 PST 's Christmas present. Also visited a bit with my grandparents. It was a pretty busy day and I feel...well...good. I hope I can continue to improve on this.
In other news, we're supposed to get a big ice storm tonight and tomorrow, so that could put a downer on the plans I had. The grass is already frozen, but I don't know if the roads will be. The rain is coming down pretty hard right now. It's supposed to turn over to freezing rain later on. *sigh* Well, it might actually be a good thing, since I need to finish my paper yet and work on FR. We'll see.


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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11353155/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/11353155/ Tue, 09 Jan 2007 14:44:57 PST Continuing the rounds of visits to relatives. Tomorrow I'll be going to stay the night with my aunt. It should be pretty fun, since shopping is involved. I really need new sweaters/jeans. Some nice new skirts would be lovely as well.
My next submission is almost ready and I'm also thinking of finally getting on with Fate Redirected. My head is finally feeling clear enough to write.


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]]> ~Cookiebeast http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/9828613/ http://Cookiebeast.deviantart.com/journal/9828613/ Wed, 13 Dec 2006 18:47:57 PST Life itself feels surreal. Like I've been gone and I haven't been gone at the same time. Or I went through a massive time skip. Either way, being back in my own house and in my own room feels like a dream. I feel like I'll wake up any second and be back in my dorm room in Japan on my crappy bed with my roommates's filth scattered about.
Good God, does my head hurt! I think I'm catching a cold. Joy.
In art related news, I've got a bunch of stuff in the works, so expect updates soon (if you're even interested, mind you. I know I'm no Folkeye or Karincoma, but bear with me. My work isn't *that* shitty.)


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