deviantART: by:Creir

RIP Lexus

~Creir — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:45:03 PDT

No dog's ears can ever be as floppy, and adorable as hers. She'll be missed more than anyone could know.

Hundreds of miles from home...

~Creir — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 08:17:46 PDT

... Score. I'm going to Michigan tomorrow! (:

Holy shit

~Creir — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 12:39:41 PDT

Jesse got out of prison... And he's brandon's best friend. holy shit. i haven't seen him in two years. what. the. fuck.

Don't call it a comeback

~Creir — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:47:52 PST

I missed DA. I don't even know what to say but...

I'm on msn i misss my msn people... talk to me. xD art coming soon.

Not dead.

~Creir — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 13:36:25 PST

But incredibly horrified about not having internet. I miss you guys so much and it's frustrating as hell not to have anyone to talk to.

And a special I miss you to Carlene and Ali. ); Call.

Not dead.

~Creir — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 13:36:23 PST

But incredibly horrified about not having internet. I miss you guys so much and it's frustrating as hell not to have anyone to talk to.

And a special I miss you to Carlene and Ali. ); Call.

Scream

~Creir — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:48:06 PDT

^{So I go down to the license bureau to get my driver's license. I've had my permit for more than enough time. I got my driving hours in. I'm so excited to be a licensed driver and. They're closed. FTW I was so pissed, the way I drove home wouldn't have gotten me to pass my test. xD

BUT in other news... fuck, i'm going to dwell on this till next Monday when I CAN go get the fucking thing.

...

Anyway, Life is okay here, me and my boyfriend of like 8 months broke up, it was hard at first, now I'm dating Alex. I don't know how long that one will last because I think he just wants to lose his virginity. XD John has been trying to get back with me but I really don't care about him anymore. Like, he's nice to me... A lot. What can I do? I know I'm hurting him by staying his friend. But I've become attached to him like a friend and it'd be weird not to have him give me a hug when I cry, or advise me in some way.

3: sigh.

ANYWAIZ
quiz.

thing.

001. Real name â Rachael
002. Nickname â Dirty Girl, Rash, Rage.
003. Status â Taken
004. Zodiac sign â Aquarius
005. Male or female â Female
006. Elementary â My dear.
007. Middle School â Two extra years of it.
008. High School â Lovin' it.
009. Smart â You could say so.
010. Hair color â Brown.
011. Long or short â Long
012. Loud or Quiet â Depends.
013. Sweats or Jeans â Jeans.
014. Phone or Camera â Phone... Cell phone. (:
015. Health freak Â A little bit, except when it comes to alcohol and etc. );
016. Drink or Smoke? Â Or both?
017. Do you have a crush on someone? â Keith is hottt. I've got that on lock when I want it. (;
018. Eat or Drink â Southern Comfort plz? no.
019. Piercings â Ears, Lip.
020. Tattoos â Eighteenth B-day. (;

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing â Ears.
024. First best friend â Amanda.
025. First award â School shit.
026. First crush â Dan.
027. First pet â David the cat.
028. First big vacation â Colorado
030. First big birthday â None really mentionable.

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating Â Nothing
050. Drinking â Same as aforementioned.
052. I'm about to â Kick some ass. (License Bureau)
053. Listening to â Tokio Hotel. They're amazing.
054. Plans for today â Fine something to do, and maybe finally hang out with my boyfriend whom I haven't seen since we started dating like a week ago. XD
55. Waiting for â People to get off school so I can disappoint them about not getting to go out driving tonight because everyone wanted to hang out. ;3;

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? â Not really.
059. Want to get married? Â Maybe.
060. Careers in mind Â Design related or medical field.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes â Both have to be alright.
070. Shorter or taller? Â Taller preferred, but i've dated short people.
072. Romantic or spontaneous â Both. Fersure.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms â Wishing I had them, so I can't judge.
074. Sensitive or loud â A mix of both.
075. Hook-up or relationship â Both. XD
077. Trouble maker or hesitant â In the middle.

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts â Don't have them.
081. Ran away from home â When I was like.. Six.
084. Broken someones heart â ):
085. Been arrested â Almost. xD
087. Cried when someone died â Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE:
089. Yourself â Occasionally.
090. Miracles â Sometimes.Not really? It could be possible when you see me. (;
092. Heaven â It'd be nice but I don't believe.
093. Santa clause â Nah.
094. Sex on the first date â ... o3o;;;;;;;;
095. Kiss on the first date â lol yeah.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now â Kind of. He's a friend and a player, I kind of wish he was more. But then again, don't. xD
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life â Sort of.
099. Do you believe in God â No.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag â No. xD BUT I tag Carlene.

[link]

Name my new kitten. xD

I don't know if it's a boy or girl.

It sleeps... And acts cute. Need I explain more? ):}

Sorry for my absence...

~Creir — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:07:13 PDT

... But I miss you guys. Fuckkk, Call me.

Rly. Srsly.

Liek naow. Well, not past 10:30 my time. Central. Myes.

1-573-775-3887

So how is everyone doing? I haven't talked to a lot of you in forever. Maybe I'll try posting somthing tomarrow.

Life is fine for me, just the usual.
Looking forward to some things, especially summer break in less than two weeks.

Ever been jealous?

~Creir — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:57:27 PDT

Yeah, well, haven't we all? But how about being jealous of someone's past?

Recently I've found that I'm mean and actually hurtful to John because I am jealous of his past. And by that I mean... Well, it's hard to explain. But for example; I hear a song that John confided that reminded him of another girl from a past relationship. I hear said song and get upset and mad, and usually, take that out on him. Or because I'm not the first person he's "been in love with."

Is that wrong and therefore makes me a total bitch? I have no idea. But if anyone else has felt this kind of thing (or somthing similar) or even just has some sort of opinion/advice please share.

Onnn another note. How is everyone doing? ;3; I miss talking to my online crowd. You know; I've always had closer friends online. Relationships formed online are more about socializing than people say. All we get to use is conversation. Does that make the bond better? Who knows. But I keep friends from the computer longer than I keep the ones I hang out with. (Drama, drama, drama, drama.)

I miss you guys so much. ); I've got all day online so feel free to IM me. (((:

ADD

~Creir — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:48:58 PST

So I have ADD and they gave me Adderall for it. xD ...

I blame my ADD for never finishing anything.

... yes.

So maybe when I'm fully medicated I will try and draw somthing. ( Hah.

Long time no see.

~Creir — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 22:38:35 PST

^{I miss everyone. Stay well.

... People hurt you all the time, yes? Well, wether it be small or big.. It's still horrible.

Today I was hurt by one person more than anyone has ever hurt me before. It sucks.

Tell me that you're alright... Yeah everything is alright.

.3.}

Another birthday passed...

~Creir — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 21:00:03 PST

Aha. My sixteenth was on January 25th. (; I hadn't had much time to get online as of late. I miss you guys. l;flk;asg ;3; Sorrrryyyy.

SO much stuff has happened. Augh I woun't even try to elaborate all of it.

So. In a nutshell;
Breakup.
Makeup.
Drama.
Jail time for a friend.
Interrogation via a dumbass cop.

... loveyouguysstill.

Oh, we're all gonna make these journals...

~Creir — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 07:17:25 PST

^{It's a new year. Exciting, no? Well, I think so. 2007 was an exciting year for me. It was the begining of a social life. I have a lot of good memories from last year, and a lot of regrets. One of my favorite people died... I found someone I really like. I made new friends. Tonnnss of things. But I'm going to make 2008 a good year. I've really stopped being as pessimistic as I used to be.

quiz thing. lawl

In 2007 I:

stayed single the whole year.

got your first REAL kiss

kissed someone new

made-out for the first time

made-out in/on a car

kissed in the snow

kissed in the rain

fell in love/been in love

had your heart broken

broke someone else's heart

had a stalker

had a good relationship with someone (friend or bf/gf)

questioned your sexual orientation

came out of the closet

gotten married

had a divorce

had a gay marriage

kissed someone of the same sex

dated someone you'll never forget

done something you've regretted

lost someone you truely love (R.I.P Aunt Diane.)

lost faith in love

kissed under mistletoe

WORK/SCHOOL

got a job

got a promotion

got a pay raise

changed jobs

lost your job

quit your job

dated a co-worker

dated your boss

dated your boss' daughter/son

got fired from your job

got straight A's

met one teacher you really like

met one teacher you really hated (Fucking bitch.)

found the subject you love

failed a class

cut class

skipped school

got into a fight with a classmate

did something you were proud of

discovered a new talent

gave the teachers a reason to teach

proved yourself an idiot

embaressed yourself in front of the class

fell in love with a teacher

got a lead in the school play

made a varsity team

were involved in something you'll never forget

got sent to the office

OTHER

painted a picture

wrote a poem

ran a mile

listened to music you couldn't stand

double-dipped

skinny-dipped

went to a sleepover

went to camp/camping

threw a surprise party

laughed until you cried

flirted shamelessly

visited a foreign country

visited a different province

cooked a disasterous meal

lost something important to you

got a gift you adore

realized something new about yourself

tried to gain weight

dyed your hair

came close to losing your life

someone close to you died

went to a party

drank alcohol

drank alcohol underage

did drug(s)

got drunk

got arrested

read a great book

saw a great movie

saw a movie so scary that it made you cry

saw a band/artist live

saw someone famous in person

did something you want to tell everyone

Nowww. for my resolutions.

Lose weight (Fucking obvious xD)

Make this relationship I have going work.

Find more bands/music I like.

Be more kind to my friends.

Become more loyal.

Discover a new talent/ work on a new talent.

Not smoke.

Be even more optimistic.

(for deviantart)

Comment on my friend's pictures.

Submit atleast 1 piece of art a month. .3.

Reply to comments

Comment on other's journals.}

I digress...

~Creir — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 08:24:56 PST

^{Rant first, skip if you just want to view the lovely quiz I took. xD;

So. Life is taking a toll on me now. It's really tearing me up to see how people really are. How easily someone will betray you or take advantage of you. To see how... No one can be caring anymore. I know there are people that are genuinely good. But, why can't I find them? Actually I have found one. And I'm really happy about it.

However, my old group of friends... They're hurting me. Is life just a huge popularity contest? Lately I've been trying to be more observant about people, and how they act. How I act around them...

And a lot of their time is spent doing "bad" things. Sexual activity/drugs/partying/stealing/fighting.

I am absolutly no angel, I've participated in a lot of the aforementioned. And I'm worried. For myself and others.

ds;ljf Anyway. The point of this is; my friends are screwing me over. Why? I don't know. I'm confused as hell.

Oh, and conveniantly out of all this, I've been labeled a whore. Now, I hardly think this is justified. There are only two guys I've ever done anything at all with.. And only one I've slept with. And, It was because I thought he cared about me. (I could not have been more wrong on that one. Ouch.) I'm so depressed about it. I've got friends left. Now, I know who the good ones are.

Quiz.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

No books close to me.

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.

Couch.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

She's too young. (Movie)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.

10:34?

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

10:21 xD

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Ew, country music on my mom's TV. Pill bottles.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Coming home from Dillon's house with Chels.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

Limewire.

9. What are you wearing?

Brown pullover hoodie, and blue and white striped PJ pants.

10. Did you dream last night?

Can't recall.

11. When did you last laugh?

Yesterday at Dillon's.

12. What are on the walls you are in?

Pictures, mirrors.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Lotsofthings.

14. What do you think of this quiz?

It's taking too long. xD

15. What is the last film you saw?

She's too young.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you think?

I'd be pretty damn happy. New house.. New start on life. xD

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.

Um.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

People.

19. Do you like to dance?

Hate it.

20. George Bush?

xD Hate him.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Marilyn.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Probobly... Gabriel.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yes!

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

"Oh hell..."

I TAG CARELENE.}

I really screwed things up, now.

~Creir — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:10:38 PST

^{I am... A whore. I feel like one, really.

Don't read if you don't feel like hearing my bitching. xD; But I'd like advice in any case... .3.;

It all started friday when Brandon called me, asking me to come over to John's house. It's only about a block away so I happily accepted his invitation and he even picked me up.

Jesse calls Brandon.

He talks for awhile, and Brandon gives me the phone. It's Jesse's brother, Dakota.

Dakota tells me "Hey, Rachael?"

"Yeah. Hey."

"Hey, don't take offense to this, okay?"

"Okay.. Uh, what is it?"

"Jesse says he wants to just be friends with benefeits now."

I stayed silent for awhile.

"So is that a yes or no?"

So I gave the phone back to Brandon. I was extremely upset. Who wouldn't be? I definatly qualified that as a breakup. Wouldn't it? I thought so...

Friday night rolls around, and I keot hanging out with Brandon, John, Chelsea, and Willie.

I stayed the night at Brandon's. We had fun. Kept it simple...

I went home that morning to shower and stuff. Chelsea went to work.

So Brandon calls, asking if we want to hang out again that night. I say yeah, because we always have fun.

And they usually always have alcohol, which, I have a taste for. lkdgf;l .3.;;

So, we all start drinking, I was the one drinking most, I believe.

John, I've had feelings for prior to this night...

And he was flirting with me, I was doing it back... We ended up making out. (Shyeah, I'm horrible.. Just having broke up with Jesse... But I had feelings for him, still. .3.)

Anyway, we went back to Brandon's house. John and me are still making out... And things were getting a little too intense for me. (He asked, well, I'll leave it to your imagination.) So, I get up, and go into the other room.

Willie asks me to come into his room, so I do. (I was really wasted, even though I knew john would be mad...)

I go in there, knowing, Willie never has innocent intentions. Never. He's a notorious whore. I don't even know why I went into his room. But, anyhow, I laid on his bed. He laid by me, and he was asking me to do shit. I said no, even under a period of- bad judgement-

He intimidates me a lot, when I'm sober, especially. He's kindof mean, even.

But he was fooling around, and even tried pulling down my pants. I knew that was bad enough to tell him no.

He even pulled out a condom, and I was getting really damn testy. I was about to leave the room, even.

John and Brandon, walk into the room suddenly.

I'm caught, with my fucking pants down.

John swore he saw somthing that absolutely did not happen.

They look at me like, really angry. Brandon was on the phone... With Jesse.

Of all people.

I get up and leave Willie's room.

Fallow Brandon, and He says that Jesse wants to talk to me.

Jesse says "What are you doing, sleeping around on me. Whore!"

I tell him "You fucking broke up with me. Just friends with Benefeits right? And I didn't even do anything that could qualify as sleeping around."

He blows up at me...

John won't talk to me.

Brandon only talks to me when he is at home, and sure not to get caught by John.

And when he talks to me, he says some pretty bad stuff. Asking me to do shit with him, it makes me pretty mad.

Jesse and his friend, Dustin, keep calling me. Harrassing me.

"Come over tonight Rachael. Come on."

He texted my cell phone. "Where is my blow job?"

Texted me a picture of him flipping me the bird... Many things. Calling me a whore.

Saying I'm a dumb slut.

I feel. Horrible.

I am a whore, and I deserve to fucking die.

John told Chelsea he really liked me.. And that he was even going to ask me out.

I like John, a lot...

I fkked up.}

Situations

~Creir — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 20:23:47 PST

^{Damn, an update on life for all my buddies. ;3; I miss you guys like. l;ksdg;lk Super bad.

I'm dividing this into categories, so you can read what you want, and disregaurd the rest.

General life

Has been really bad lately. I've been pretty depressed from recent events. My dad showed his real colors this weekend; he hit me.

Well, pulled me out of my chair, pushed me back... Jerked me by my shirt, then hit me.

My aunt died two days after thanksgiving... I'm really torn up about it. I used to spend weeks at a time at her house... She was the single most caring person I ever fucking knew. I loved her with all my heart. R.I.P Lilly Diane.

-

Other half?

My "boyfriend" is pretty much... I don't know. He confuses the hell out of me. He seems to fucking love making me mad. Seems like the only time he will be real nice to me is if he wants somthing. Not to mention, he's been less than caring recently... Even after my aunt died. He came in my house the same day, and pushed my brother. I hate my brother, so it was nothing to me... But seeing as how my aunt had just passed away less than 10 hours beforehand...

This whore (and I do mean it) keeps calling him. He talks to her.

She told my good friend... "Jesse says he really likes me, and he's not still going out with Rachael." Now, Jesse jokes around a lot... But I think that is a bit far. Plus I've been hearing things that just, bring me to almost want to cry.

I dunno what I'm doing anymore, but he's special?

One situation pissed me off; it was the day my aunt died. I was hanging out with Hookerface, and Dollface, and Chelsea. I was talking to Jesse on the phone. My friends were trying to console me. And they happened to have some vodka. I was sobbing; pretty much... And he told me; "Drink it, or I'll never talk to you again."

Social life

I'm connecting more with my friends. And especially Hookerface. (He will remain with that name for life.) And his brother, Pimpface, is a damn whore.

Anyhow... I've been getting along with the help of them. They cheer me up. I love 'em.

To my online friends;

I miss you guys so much. ;3; -hugclinggss-

New song obsession; ask the name, I dare you.

I kissed your lips, you pulled my hair, it was the craziest thing.}

What is your D.O.C?

~Creir — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 13:58:54 PST

Joking about the title, don't answer that plz. xD

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you said?:
"Holy fuck, what the hell happened last night?"

2. When is the next time you will make out?:
Whenever I see Jesse. cB

3. What's a word that rhymes with "LUCK"?:
Fuck.

4. What's your favorite planet?:
Um, I hate planets. ): But I like that one moon, Callisto.

5. Who's the 4th person on your missed calls list?:
Iunno.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?:
No ringtones.

7. What shirt are you wearing right now?:
Fender Guitar shirt.

8. What do you "label" yourself as?:
A bitch, whore. ):

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?:
DVS

10. Bright or dark room?:
Bright

11. What do you think about the person who last took the survery?:
UM, she is awesome, yo.

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?:
The one with the most pillows.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?:
Confidential. o3o I was with Jesse.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?:
N/a

15. What just so happens to be the best song in the world?:
So many. 3:

16. What's a word or phrase that you say a lot?:
'xD'

17. Who told you they loved you last?:
No one, that I can recall.

18. Last furry thing you touched?:
...

19. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days?:
Does alcohol count?

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?:
One.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?:
15, horrah

22. Your worst enemy?:
Myself. D: <

23. What is your current desktop picture?:
Blue...

24. What is the last thing you said to someone?:
"Yeah me too."

25. Do you love someone?:
... ):

26. Last song you listened to?:
Autographs and Apologies.

27. If the last person you spoke to on the phone was getting shot at what would you do?:
"GETDOWN."

28. Do you do the games in the ads on myspace?:
Myspace sucks.

29. What are your favorite Pjs?:
Whatever I'm wearing from the day prior.

30. What do you do when you pass graveyards?:
Oh, hi.

31. Have you ever seen a shooting star?:
No. ):

32. How old do you think you'll live to be?:
Um, Jesse is going to kill me in a car accident. We went 110 (B
So.. 21, at most.

33. Your favourite website?:
NONE. lolol

34. List five things you want to do in your lifetime:
I don't want to list them, for fear of them not coming true. ):

Updates & Shit

~Creir — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 21:17:04 PST

I haven't been online for awhile. ): That hoe made me cry today, and he was joking. What a jerkfaes. But I still like him, anyhow.
I'll try and get online moar. I need to talk to mi friends. ;3;

Stolenn~~

A - Available?: Nope.
A - Age: 15 (Nearing 16)
A - Annoyance: Waiting on Phone Calls. ):

B - Best Friends?: All my friends forget about me. k
B - Bar: I wish I could go to one?
B - Birthday?: Jan 25

C - Crush: And Boyfriend; Jesse.
C - Car: I want a BMW, bitch.
C - Cat: Serious

D - Dead Pets Name(s): I don't have enough time in the world to list 'em all.
D - Dad's Name: Donny
D - Dog(s): Lobo, Mr. Rott. <3

E - Easiest person to talk to: online: Ali!
E - Eggs: In soup.
E - Email: Rachael.a.s.h@hotmail.com

F - Favorite color?: Black.
F - Food: I'm nevar eating again. ):
F - Foreign Slang: ... O3o

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Worms. The kind with that sugar on them. Yes.
G - God: Iunno. Jesse tells me to believe in him.
G - Good Times: Hee.

H - Hair Color: Dark Brown
H - Height: 5'3"-5'4"
H - Happy: Is sneaking out to see my Rocky Balboa.

I - Ice Cream: Never again. ):
I - Instrument: Guitar
I - Idol: Umum, That one armed Drummer.

J - Jewelry: Unless I get my lip pierced, none.
J - Job: I'm getting one asap.
J - Jokes: I'm not good at it.

K - Kids: Ew
K - Karate: No?
K - Kung Fu: the hell?

L - Love: Jesse, maybe. cB
L - Longest Car Ride: 14 Hours, Indiana to see family.
L - Lipstick or Chapstick: Chapstick. Lipstick makes me look like a cheap street-corner whore.

M - Milk Flavor: Ew milk.
M - Mothers Name: Penny (Ellen)
M - Movie Last Watched: Beowulf (Fucking dumbb)

N - Number of Siblings: 1
N - Northern or Southern: ... Pft.
N - Name: Favorite one? Um, Marylin.

O - One Wish: ... I wonder.
O - One Phobia?: Lots. ):
O - Otter Pop: .. Huh?

P - Parents, are they married or divorced: Married.
P - Part of your appearence you like best: Hair.
P - Part of your Personality you like best: Loyalty

Q - Quick or Slow?: Slow
Q - Queer or Straight?: Strait, ish?
Q - Queen or King?: King, Bitch.

R - Reason to smile: Jesse, my friends. (B
R - Reality TV Show: Hell Date
R - Right or Left: Right

S - Song Last Heard: By Thsi Disaster
S - Season: Fall
S - Series: House?

T - Time you woke up: At 4:23, then 7:46, and finally at.. 10:32
T - Time Now: 11:10
T - Time for bed: Anywhere from 10:00-3:00 depending on if I'm on the phone/ have school/ Jesse has work.

U - Unknown: Ohshit.
U - Unicorns: Were left off the arc?
U - You are?: A slut, apparently. ):

V - Vegetable you hate: Zuchinni
V - Vegetable you love: Carrots, man.
V - View on Politics: Iunno fuck.

W- Worst Habit: Biting nails.
W- Where are you going to travel next: Potosi.
W- What's up?: The ceiling.

X - X-Rays: Seethroughclothes. e3e
X - X-Rated: Pornnn
X - XYZ: ABC

Y - Year you were born: 1992
Y - Year it is now: 2007
Y - Yellow?: Um, sunshine.

Z - Zoo Animal: Fucking Tiger.
Z - Zodiac: Aquarius.
Z - Zoolander?: Wth

Sorry for my absence

~Creir — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 10:41:22 PST

Wow, life has been pretty spectacular in a lot of areas... And really shitty in others. I've got a "hit" on me, apparently. xD

Someone's been told to smoke me in the face or somthing. Pft.

Anyhow, my mom knows about Jesse now. She's okay with it, she even drove me to his house last night.

I miss talking to all my friends. ): Hit me up for my damn phone number or just call. Anytime. fer real.

Actually-
1-573-775-3887 fucking call me. xD Just tell me who you are so I'm not like... "oh yahhh hi, sup.. who're u?"

(B love all of you, and, i'll be on somtime.. again.

Icon bases by ~marine-snow

<3

~Creir — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:41:41 PDT

I've gotten a... Boyfriend. :'D;; It's great. Today is halloween, and imma go and spend some time with him if at all possible~
I stayed at his house the other night. Monday night, yes. And the last two nights.. I've talked to him for hours on the phone. lulz. xD;

. . About You . . *
Eye Color:: Brown
Hair Color:: Brown
Height:: 5'4Â
Favorite Color:: Grayscale and browns.
Screen Name:: LOTS. lul
Favorite Band:: MCR orÂ Nickleback. <3
Favorite Movie:: Ghost Rider.
Favorite Show:: House? Dirt... Who knows? Dx
Your Car:: Nun
Your Hometown:: Steelville
Your Present Town:: ÂSteelville
Your Crushes First Name:: Jesse
Your Grade:: NOMNOMNOM?
Your Style:: Emokid-esk-ish

* . . Have You Ever . . *
Sat on your rooftop?: Nope.
Kissed someone in the rain?: No. xD (Not yet)
Danced in a public place?: Yess.
Smiled for no reason?: I smile all the time.
Laughed so hard you cried?: YES.
Written a song?:: Yes. xD
Sang to someone for no reason?: NoÂ Unless it counts when youÂre drunk. Animals, Nickleback. xD;
Performed on a stage?: School sht.
Talked to someone you don't know?: Yeah. O3o
Gone out of your way to befriend someone?: Maybe.
Made out in a theatre?: Not yett~
Gone roller skating since 8th grade?: Yeahh
Been in love?: Hm. IÂm debating that.

* . . Who was the last person to . . *
Say HI to you?: Tamara
Tell you, I love you?: No one.
Kiss you?: Jesse. <3
Hug you?: Maggie~
Tell you BYE?: Maggie.
Write you a note?: Sam.
Take your photo?: Me.
Call your cell phone?: No cell phone. But I talked till about 2:30 am with Jesse. xD;
Buy you something?: Jesse. lulz.
Go with you to the movies?: Umum, family. .3.
Sing to you?: Iunno
Write a poem about you?: Noune.
Text message you?: I canÂt remember! Dx
Touch you?: Jesse. LULZ

* . . What's the last . . *
Time you laughed?: Reeding this.
Time you cried?: CanÂt recall. Probably after I was bitten. xD;
Movie you watched?: whoknowsÂ I think, I havenÂt watched a movie or tv In ages.
Joke you told?: Iunno.
Song you've sang?: Fer sure
Time you've looked at the clock?: Constantly (School)
Drink you've had?: Water
Number you've dialed?: Chels
Book you've read?: The lost
Food you've eaten?: Salad and a cookie. <3
Flavor of gum chewed?: Umum. Mint.
Shoes you've worn?: DVS sketch
Store you've been in?: Delano.. Buying chaser. O3o;;
Thing you've said?: IRL: ÂYeahÂ I could come up wit better stuff than edgar Allen Poe.Â

* . . Can You . . *
Write with both hands?: No
Whistle?: Yeah
Blow a bubble?: Yes
Roll your tounge in a circle?: Yes.
Cross your eyes?: Yah
Touch your tounge to your nose?: NU
Dance?: Notrly
Stay up a whole night without sleep?: .. Yes.
Speak a different language: No
Impersonate someone?: Not well
Prank call people?: Â xD
Make a card pyramid?: No o:
Cook anything?: NO.

* . . Finish The Line . . *
If i were a ...: Whore?
I wish ...: I were an Oscar Mayer wiener.
So many people don't know ...: Wat living is. ):
I am ...: RASW
My heart is ...: Meen

Now, Tag three People:

Anyone. lol

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I need people to talk to.

~Creir — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 12:39:01 PDT

Yeah, I just do. Imma sleep off this sickness when I get home...

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.. Hmm.

~Creir — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 13:10:00 PDT

For once, I can't fathom what to say. I did somthing... Bad, and feel horrible for it.

But, at the same time, I'm really happy. It's really a bittersweet thing. But I am regretful.

Give me advice on somthing?

I've been hanging out with... "John Williams" A lot. And I was really starting to like him. But I'd heard... Well, he just doesn't have the greatest reputation out of all people. Anyhow, we did some things. (Nothing too horrible, don't worry.) And he was my first for a lot of things.

Since he had- ... That reputation. I figured I was just another girl to him. Y'know?

So, I was going with another guy... And "John Williams" found out about it.
He was... Really mad to say the least, and pretty hateful about. He called me a few things, but I figure I deserve it.

Guy two, Â Well, guy two, I liked for awhile. He wouldnÂt date me, however. Due to the age difference. I always like ÂJohn WilliamsÂ but.. Obviously, again, he didnÂt seem like he was that caring for me. ÂJohn WilliamsÂ has forgiven me. But IÂm angry with guy two, because he was trying to make ÂJohnÂ mad at me again.

Now, IÂm stuck. I donÂt know what to do. Guy two knows IÂm pissed as hell about it.
Should I forgive and forget?
They're friends. |:

P.s

I think I'm more infatuated than I have ever been before~

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Long night. e3e

~Creir — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 09:49:54 PDT

I stayed the night at his housee~

Bad me. ):

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Can't think up a title. o3o

~Creir — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 07:13:57 PDT

Yess. I went to the doctor today, hence why I am home now.
I got the Gardasil vaccination. Ouch.

I hate going to the doctor. They.. Poke and prod at you. >: And tend to love giving me shots.
Not to mention, the birth control pill talk isn't fun. ftw.

So, now I'm on Yaz.

On other notes. I'm bored as hell.

Go Colbert 08

He's a great philosopher.

I didn't spell that right, did I?

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Crash

~Creir — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:42:18 PDT

Crash in so many senses of the word today~

I was with my friend.
Fucking hell.
We fit 9 people in a... 5 person car. I ended up getting the console shoved up my ASS. I bet I have a bruise. Damnn.

We... Got into a tiny accident. XD We were drifting, and.. Ran off the road.
yes. wow. .3.

... And i met this guy.
I like him a lot.
And he's not a bad influence like... aforementioned.

I got a hug and a kiss on the cheek. <3
He kept sitting in the front seat. WITH OTHER SEAT IN THE CAR OPEN. And, making me sit half on the console, half on him. xD And he kept tickling me. I was like "STOP> lkdj;lgj;" And he stole my lighter.

But I'm too young for him. I'm 15. He's.. 18. But... ;3; I want him. So.. I will proceed with the flirting.
And he hasn't really made it clear wether he likes me. soyes.

Icon bases by ~marine-snow

Police

~Creir — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 05:07:33 PDT

... Drove me home last night.

Hi again deviantart.

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Bye devart.

~Creir — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 21:24:25 PDT

I'm sorry.
Bye msn.
Bye devart.
Bye computer.

I can't act happy, or pretend I am happy for you. Alright? Sorry.

But, I am so tired. So tired of so much of the shit that is going on with life.

No one wants to listen or help me.

Fuck it, I may seem selfish, but I can't handle it.
I'll be back. Somtime.

Friends keep back stabbing me.
I got caught going out.. I'm home bound. So you may be able to catch me on wajas. But I won't check DA for awhile after tonight. Nor msn.

Call me if you want. I'll be here.

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Name undisclosed.

~Creir — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 00:08:03 PDT

... I kissed a guy, finally.

<3 Wow he was cute!
Name not disclosed-, or somthing or other.

I am so excited...

I met him.. Today.

... o3o;;;;;; Don't shoot me. But it is better than kissing girls.

He's.. Well, I dunno his age. 18-21

Sht.

Anyhow.. He asked me to sneak out and come over. Shit. I can't, I'd be in deep shit.
I told him I would try.. I hate to make a liar out of myself. Yanno?

Fuck.. I really wanted to go back over, I told him I'd drop him a line later.. Or, I just asked him if I could call him. xD;

I'm.. So... augheehhh. .3.

I am tipsy, by the way, but happier than I have ever been.

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Read.

~Creir — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 12:40:20 PDT

Well, I'm just in a slump lately.

... I'm not mad.
... I'm not sad.
... I'm not depressed, etc. I am just upset.

So, I've decided to take an art hiatus. Well, atleast to posting art. I may still draw on AG now and then... Butyes.

I will finish the crap I promised to everyone before this.
But after that.. Nothing for awhile. People are getting mad at me for what I am doing. Or.. How. I can't please everyone.

So. I will be finishing art if I said I'd do it for you. This weekend, probobly.

So, no more requests, trades, nothing for now. I'm swamped anyhow.

It may dissapoint some people, sorry. But I hate.. Hate, hate.. Obligations.

Doesn't matter anyhow, even when I do post stuff, I can't get comments or crits. |:

Thisisnotadepressingjournal.
fuk.

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Know anyone like this?

~Creir — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 17:22:05 PDT

(Wikipedia)
Superiority complex refers to a subconscious neurotic mechanism of compensation developed by the individual as a result of feelings of inferiority. The feelings of inferiority in this specific complex are often brought on by poor aesthetics, ignorance to hygiene, or generally intelligence in regard to other people. The term was coined by Alfred Adler (February 7, 1870 Â May 28, 1937), as part of his School of Individual psychology.

Those exhibiting the superiority complex commonly project their feelings onto others they perceive as inferior to themselves. Accusations of arrogance and cockiness are often made by others when referring to the individual exhibiting the superiority complex.

Behaviors related to this mechanism may include an exaggeratedly positive opinion of oneÂs worth and abilities, unrealistically high expectations in goals and achievements for oneself and others, vanity, extravagant style in dressing (with intention of drawing attention), pride, sentimentalism and affected exaltation, snobbishness, a tendency to discredit otherÂs opinions, forcefulness aimed at dominating those considered as weaker or less important, credulity, and others.

Social aloofness, daydreaming, isolation could also be associated to the Superiority Complex, as a way to evade the fear of failure related to the feelings of inadequacy to face real world.

Superiority and inferiority complex are often found together as the different expressions of the same pathology and it can be said that if you have one, you may also have the other.

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Devious Journal Entry

~Creir — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 12:48:10 PDT

Well. I've been trying to come to terms with a lot of things... And it's making me wonder.

Mainly I've been thinking about my friends... How they see me, how I see them... How I want them to see me.

I'm making things complicated. But things aren't how I want them. Not at all.

Confusing. To myself, even.

Anyhow...
People should add me on msn to talk. Because I don't socialize enoguh.

Rachael.a.s.h@hotmail.com

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Death (For myself, really. Don't feel obligat

~Creir — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:18:47 PDT

: Don't worry about me, I'm just on a rant. This is mainly for my own purposes. To just write down a few things on my mind. :

I've recently been browsing DA, and looking at tons of art. Just for inspiration.
But, I've noticed mass amounts of pictures dealing with death.

I'm not intensely afraid of it.. But, it's so permanent. And inevitable.
I'm not religious by any means, I pretty much see it as- when you die... You're just gone. Like an eternal sleep. Without emotions, feelings, nothing.

Humans and animals have the will to live, and.. Well, a lot of things just live. They have nothing else.

What I'm getting at is... I think my life should be more fun. And I am acheiving nothing not even thrills, out of the path I am headed down.

wow.

Icon bases by ~marine-snow

Fill this out or else. k

~Creir — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 09:39:37 PDT

Seven Things you want from me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Six things you wonder about me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Five things you like about me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Four things you DON'T like about me
1.
2.
3.
4.

Three of my best features
1.
2.
3.

Two words that describe me
1.
2.

One question for me (ask away, I will answer honestly)
1.

- - - - - - YES or N0-- - - - - -
Ugly? :
Kind? :
Loud? :
Shy? :
sexy?:
Weird? :
Selfish? :
Ghetto?:
Crazy?:
Nice? :
Mean?:
Immature?:
Rude?:
Cool? :
Stupid? :
Caring? :
Mature? :
A friend? :
More than a friend? :
Talkative? :
Boring? :
Hott ?:
Exotic?:
Creative? :
Smart? :
A flirt? :
A psycho? :
Athletic? :
Confusing? :
Sweet? :
Annoying? :
Funny? :
Hyper? :
Laid back? :

- - - - - - iF Y0U C0ULD - - - - - - -
Give me a new name, what would it be ?:
Hook me up with someone, who would it be ?:
Date me, would you?:
Do one thing with me, it would be ?:
Drop me one piece of advice, it would be ?:

- - - - - - W0ULD Y0U - - - - - -
Kiss me ?:
Ever want go out with me ?:
If you already have, would you do it again ?:
Ever talk bad about me ?:
Ever have sex with me?:
LOLOLOL
- - - - - - QUESTi0NS - - - - - -
What is ur phone number?:
Which song reminds you of me?:
When is ur birthday?:
When will I see you for the first time or see you again?:
Who is/are ur best friend/s?:
Have you ever had a dream about me?:
will you repost this for me?

-----WHAT IF--------
I kissed you?
I got sick?
I died?
I decided i was gonna kill myself?

Icon bases by ~marine-snow

Important.

~Creir — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 14:15:25 PDT

...no not rly

ACCOUNT....MINOR HACKAGE XD

LOL IMMA PIMP MYSELF OUT

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Survey

~Creir — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 18:37:49 PDT

Everything About You Survey
Personal Information
First Name//: Rachael
Age//: 15
Gender//: Female
Nickname(s)//: Rash, Rages. .3. (do not askk)
Hair Color//: Brown
Hair Style//: Long
Eye Color//: Brown.
What is your favorite
Color//: Black/White
Game//: Guitar hero
Song//: Empty Apartment (For now)
Music Video//: But it's better if you do.
Animal//: I have no idea, in all honesty.
Sport//: None.
Country//: USA
Movie//: Iunno.
Food//: Fried rice. .3.
Friends
Best//: All of them. I could pinpoint one or two. But I will not.
Funniest//: Madison. xD
Coolest//: Zeki! :'D
Sweetest//: Clara
Kindest//: Kayla
Annoyingest//: Amanda!
Dullest//: Zach. xD
Stupidest//: Sam!
Most Intelligent//: Gugs. cB
Athletic//: Kayla
Relationships
Boy(Girl)friend//: CARLENE. AND MADISON?
Are you in love right now//: Never will be. ):
Do you have a crush//: Not really
Do you have a stalker//: I hope not
Do you miss someone right now//: Yes. ;3;
What do you do
At school//: Talk and be a smart-ass.
At home//: Sleep, compu.
Outside//: I wish I could drive. But walk.
When you first wake up//: Shower
What _____do you hate
Food//: Fucking beef.
Color//: A lot.
Hair color//: Unnatural
Tv show//: Documentary
Clothing style//: Wigger
Movie//: Shitty quality.
Emotions Right Now
Are You Happy Right Now//: Kinda.
Sad//: Slightly
Grumpy//: A little
Annoyed//: Slightly
Angry//: At a few people.
Sick//: Nope
Lonely//: Not really
Bored//: Very
Have you ever
Made your own religion//: No?
Written backwards//: Tried it
Written your own magazine//: No
Drawn art//: Yes
Got angry with a game//: No
Played Lacrosse//: No
Broken a bone//: No
Dyed your hair//: No
Put in contacts for no reason//: No
Swam alone//: Yes
Things that come to mind when you read...
Intelligentence//: Me haha
Stupidity//: Sam
Depress//: Madison ):
Blood//: Cutting| Falling.
Blue//: The Blues
Gray//: Neopets (ohgod)
Sword//: Midevil
Golf//: Tiger somthingorother
Soccer//: Nothing.
Yellow//: Piss
Socks//: I don't have any matching
Ribbon//: Hair
Random Questions
Play Sports, if so, what ones//: No
Have a lot of friends//: Yeah
Write good//: I write okay
Eat a lot//: Kinda
Like the day Friday//: Hell yeah
Like the month December//: Yes!
Do you(or are you)
(DY)Give good advice//: I hope so, or a lot of people are fucked
(DY)Talk crap//: haha, yeah but it's in good fun
(DY)Play a lot of games//: No
(DY)Wear hats//: No. BUT THERE IS THIS HOTHOTHOT HAT I WANT.
(DY)Like to be outside//: Yeah
(AY) Always mad//: Nope
(AY) Always happy//: Nope
(AY) A good friend//: I hope
This or that (Last questions)
Night or day//: Night
Snow or Rain//: Snow
Stars or the Moon//: Stars
Ocean or Pool//: Ocean (Only for the beach)
Boat or Plane//: Plane
Books or Magazines//: Depends
Yu-Gi-Oh Cards or Pokemon Cards//: Neither haha
Blonde or Black Hair//: Black
Green or Blue Eyes//: Both
Pants or Shorts//: Pants
Pop or Rock//: Rock
Punk or Emo//: Both
Tatoos or Piercings//: Both
Necklace or Ring//: Neither
Clouds or No Clouds//: Clouds
Art or Literature//: Both
Jeans or Baggy Pants//: Jeans
Singing or Dancing//: Singing
March or May//: March
Halloween or Christmas//: Bothl;kjgl;ksdh
Coke or Pepsi//: Neither
Hug or Kiss//: Both

Art status
Trades: Open!
Requests: Open. (Less enthusiasm)
Commisions: Not good enough.

Trade status
None.

Request status
- [link]

Gifts
- Sonas?

<...

Drama

~Creir — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 20:27:50 PDT

I need. To shoot myself.
Man, for once, not out of angst. lul...

Anyhow, I have a friend here, who really isn't my friend.. Kindof. Ugh whatever. She was my friend way-back-when and I've only been talking to her for a day. And she is like "Oh I will spend the night. k" And another friend of mine just.. Abandoned me. My brother is flirting with the friend that is here, however, she fears she is pregnant.

G.O.D.

Sam comes to me, saying she is having guy problems, and talking about it, in-depth. lkd;lsgl;j;l Shit.

Then, Madison is dealing with some stuff, but she's great and stuff, so she isn't allike "OMG FIX MY PROBLEM. l;dkfgjlk;dj FIX IT." But, everyone else is. So.
I just need a get-away. k

Art status
Trades: Open!
Requests: Open. (Less enthusiasm)
Commisions: Not good enough.

Trade status
None.

Request status
- [link]

Gifts
- Sonas?

Icon bases by ~marine-snow

Birthmonth quiz. & Updates

~Creir — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 08:49:46 PDT

Tag'd by

â Pick your birth month.
â Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
â Bold the five-ten that best apply to you.
â Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months
â Tag 5 people from your friends list.

And here are the months:

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. ~~Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized.~~ Sensitive and has deep thoughts. ~~Knows how to make others happy.~~ Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and ~~money cautious.~~

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling. Friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and...

maek me draw moar

~Creir — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 14:18:17 PDT

Yes. I actually really do need to draw more. .3.;

So I'm going to add in a whole "art status" thing. And I will start taking trades and requests! :'D (For a limited time. u__u

So.
Request somthing, and I will try my best.
However, first I need to finish a gift forrr

Optimism.

~Creir — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 12:45:08 PDT

Due to a suggestion from a friennddd. I'mm going to be more optimistic. k.

Anyhow.

What is your Japanese name? Take each letter of

your name and substitute it with the Japanese

sound to the right of the letter. Names might be

kinda long...

* A- ka

* B- zu

* C- mi

* D- te

* E- ku

* F- lu

* G- ji

* H- ri

* I- ki

* J- zu

* K- me

* L- ta

* M-rin

* N- to

* O-mo

* P- no

* Q- ke

* R- shi

* S- ari

* T-chi

* U- do

* V- ru

* W-mei

* X- na

* Y- fu

* Z- zi

Shikamirikakuta. Rachael. o3o! Shikamiri = Rach. I liekkk that moar. lul.

I'll do my last name later.

I can't dissapeer.

~Creir — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 15:25:58 PDT

.. Like I wish I could.

Wow. You guys, I am so. so. so. so. Pissed off.

I'm usually a calm person. Fucking highly reserved, and all that. I can deal with anger well, in most cases. But. Today. No.

Here's the story;
I was calmly walking from my last class to the buses with Madison. When I hear Mr. Fridley (My principal. Dumbshit) yells at me to take them off. "If I see them again here, it's mine."
I was already in a bad mood from class, and I wasn't going to take more shit from him. He's always yelling at me for shit.
"Uhh, it is after school. Finefine I will never ever ever bring it back." I was being semi dramatic and in a louder tone than usual, I'll admit. But he retorted with a comment. We got into it a little bit and he was finally like "Come to my office. Now!" And I said "No. I'll Just walk home." I turned around and said "Asshole prick"

(Let me stop here a minute. I acted like a bitch. I was mad, of course. But I am not the bad guy in this, it may even seem so if you keep reading.)

and he was saying some things I can't recall and eventually he said (direct quote) "Fine, go ahead and go home waste your life there." And I was walking back to his office. I was... Homicidal to say the least. He had me sit in his office, and I calmed down a bit.
About five minutes later he took me into an office, his was currently occupied with my friend Zach, and another kid named Devon.

So I walked into the office and took a seat. I'm sitting there and he's feeding me all this principal bullshit. And eventually. He fucking says "So.. You've been wearing long sleeves all year."
I replied "What you think I cut myself, dude?"
He only said "Show me your arms."

wtf

.3.

~Creir — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 13:01:49 PDT

ANIMOLOGY: What Animal Are You? Your Result: Silver and Red Wolf howl You're a very strong person. You tend to be naive most of the time, but when in love boy do you know how to get around! You prefer to be quite around adults. Your soul mate is the gold falcon. You're in conflict with the maroon panda.
Blue Fox
Teal Cat
Yellow Trout
Gold Falcon
Tan Giraffe
Red Jaguar
Ocre and Gray Dolphin
ANIMOLOGY: What Animal Are You?

Fucking angst.

~Creir — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 14:33:14 PDT

Sorry, profanity in your messages. But, thats is what is about to spew from my fingertips. I'm so.. Messed up right now. So much so that I just want-

Whatever.

I went to go get my driving permit. That I could have fucking gotten MONTHS ago, if it weren't for my lazy ass parents. My mom basically swore up and down on her goddamn life that I could get it today. (Like on previous occasions)

We get there, and they're packing up to leave. They won't be back for two weeks. Another fucking two weeks and nine months before I can drive.

My birthday is in three months. Less than three, actually.

And today, I get home to my brother yelling at me. I don't do shit to him and he starts treating me like crap. He always does that.
I'm friends with the chick who "rejected" him... So I'm a target for his fucking words and even physical abuse.

Well, bullshit. I want out.
I actually cried today. Atleast we all know I am still human, now.

I know, somwhere, somehow, we'll be together.

~Creir — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:49:47 PDT

Ew. I'm tired, an dmy throat hurts. Today I found out my Grandma has a few cancer spots on her lungs. She's going to go through surgery shortly... Shit.

First her sister, terminal. Died. Now... I just hope for her. Y'know? She's kind of like me. Reserved. But, very kind, to limits.

I don't know what else to say.. But I severly hope she is okay.

I stil can't wait to setach myself from this town. I hope I can make it that long.

I'm terrified I'll find a reason to want to stay. Like: A guy. I'd run my entire future if that happened. I won't let it.

18th birthday. I'm gone. Regaurdless of anything.

3 years. Possibly sooner...

If I could find you now...

~Creir — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:38:51 PDT

If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away

There's a piece of you that's here with me
It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see
When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by
I can make believe that you're here tonight
That you're here tonight

If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away

Ahem, anyhow. Just an update.
Working on Tags, and a fursona ref, I will have both of which up later on. I'm working on a bunch of things at once. Bad me.

You look pretty low.

~Creir — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 18:17:30 PDT

I feel pretty low.
Hangover. .3. Yes, please spare me, I hate myself for doing it, but my friends wanted me to. Which led to worse than just alcohol. I dunno what to do with myself anymore.

I just need to get away from this place.

I've lived here all of my fifteen years, and seven months of life. And I couldn't hate it more. People are so intolerant. They're so... Lifeless. This place is so slow paced. I. Cannot. Handle. It.

I recently heard a song. "Everyone dies famous in a small town." And it went into detail about how everyone in a small town knows everything about everyone else. It's so true that it's gross. I want out.

About 2 years and five months from now, I'll be driving far away. As far away as possible. Or until I find somwhere I can be happy.

It's sad that even people from here agree...

"Steelville is just a town to waste your life in."

Theres so much drug use, and alcohol... It's basically a haze of a life. I don't want to become that, and I see it happening.

Devious Journal Entry

~Creir — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:59:54 PDT

-hyperventalates- NO. NO.. lkfjg;lksjdh;ljg;l LOOK AT MY HAIR. NO. l;sjdgf;lgj ;_________________; I'm mourning. My fucking poor hair. My beautiful locks were demolished by a ;ldsgj;la; BITCH. lkdjg;lkjgd I told her LONG bangs. NO. lkjsgl;jajgvjj;jl;lds I CAN'T EVEN SIDE-SWIPE THEM.

Haircut.

~Creir — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:17:08 PDT

Decided.
Last block. Big new when I get home. k

[link]

Tomarrow

~Creir — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 18:02:12 PDT

I'm so nervous. Life- Or -Death situation here, tomarrow decides. It decides whether or not I can ever be happy again. It decides if my family will ever get alone. Tons of things.

Hope for me. I skipped school today. Screw up numero uno.

Abandoned

~Creir — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 19:27:21 PDT

Well, I'm sick of it. I can say.. I honestly have only two friends who give a shit about me.
... Maybe only one. It's more likely. No names. I may take a haitus from DA, even though I love it.. Just 'cause of people.

Actually maybe It'd be better to take an msn hiatus.

Slap in the face. One second I'm happily talking, then I see somthing that offends the Hell out of me.

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day in my life

Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go,
I wanna go with you
And if you die,
I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
It's a day that I'm glad I survived

Everyday.

Haysup

~Creir — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:50:12 PDT

Today was pretty good.
Then, depressing. Then, jk;ljf;gj. Yes. okay.

But overall, it was okay.

The best part of the day, and the highlight of.. the year.

Me and my little cousin walk into the icecream place, and we see this guy that complimented my hoodie the day before. He's like "Hi!" And I said Hey, and he made our cones, and got mine a little off-center. xD Nothing too bad... But then he got my cousin's and I tried to pay him and he pushed the money back at me. xD I told him to take it, but he wouldn't. HOT MENZ. LOVE.

IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF THE NECKLACE CARLENE GAVE ME.
She sent me an awesome package. <3 hdslgjhl; Love.

Then I stopped at my Gramma's house. She had a new boyfriend. ANOTHER ONE. lkjgjlg;ldgj He's nice. Pervy.. Kept saying about me going to flirt with sum boiz. I was like "wtf okay......" lkjg;ljh

ANYHOW. Then I got depressed. I won't go into thatt.

Thursday.

~Creir — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 20:17:43 PDT

Thursday decides my immediate future.
Oh fucking please!

I have detention on tuesday.
And my fate comes to me thursday. Wish me luck.

EDIT:

Like this haircut? I think I want it.

New journal header. Finally.

~Creir — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 18:42:24 PDT

Version: LOVE.

So kiss me goodbye, honey I'm going to make it out alive. So kiss me goodbye, I can see the venom in your eyes.

EDIT:

This;

LAYER ONE:
Name: Rachael Allisha Shelby Halbert
Birthplace: Sullivan, Missouri.
Birthday: January 25, 1992
Gender: Female
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5' 4"
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
Elemental Sign: Air
Chinese Zodiac Sign: Rooster or Monkey, I can't recall. xD

LAYER TWO:
Your heritage: German, Irish.. Uhm. MUTT.
The shoes you wore today: DVS - Skater shoes, yo.
Your fears: Failing at life. ;3;
Your perfect meal: Cheese and crackers.
Goal you'd like to achieve: Not failing at life. Perhaps go to job corp.

LAYER THREE:
What is...
Your first thought waking up: "Sleeeeppp."
Your best physical feature: Hair. .3.
Your bedtime: Whenever.
Your most missed memory: ... ;3;

LAYER FOUR:
Do you prefer...
Pepsi or Coke: ...... MOUNTAIN DEW.
McDonald's or Burger King: Mcdonalds.
Single or group dates: Single. c:
Adidas or Nike: DVS or Etnies. ;3;
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Any kind of tea. c:
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino.

LAYER FIVE:
Do/Did you...
Smoke: I have.
Cuss: All the time.
Sing: No.
Take a shower: More tha needed.
Have a crush: Mhm. -I'll never tell. ;D
Think you've been in love: No... I wish.
Want to go to college: More than anything.
Like high school: .3.
Want to get married: probably.
Get motion sickness: Yeah.
Think you're attractive: Below average.
Think you're a health freak: No.
Get along with your parent(s): Nevur.
Like thunderstorms: Iunno.
Play an instrument: No.

-end-

These are your good days.

~Creir — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 15:58:26 PDT

Today. Pissed me off. I realize I hadv anger issues, really... If I'd had some sort of sharp obj-
Anyhow. My principal is pissing me off. And I can't tolerate his fucking crooked face for another moment of the day. I may shoot myself where I stand, on monday, it'd be a hell of a lot less painful than enduring him. He's pulled me out of THREE classes. Just to lecture and yell at me. I'm thinking.. "Stalker much. Fuckface." This is the fourth time, in the last week, that he's pulled me from gym. He took me from my homeroom once, and language... To either go to the hall, or to the office. He called my mom.

Over..
Somthing so fucking stupid. Missing assignments. I'm still PASSING. Said class. Passing. That's all that matters. But no. Not to this nosy uppity prick.

While I was in his office, he was talking to me.
"Rachael. -lecture- -more lecture- Things are alot more strict this year, with me being the new principal. It seems like you're going to fail the year."
I WILL STOP THERE, I must interject. What. The. Fuck. It's only been.. Two or three weeks of school? And, I'm going to fail, already. I have time to make it up. I've just been so fucking stressed, and all of this bullshit. I have time to get my grades up. I have time to do that missing work. It's my choice.
Now I must continue.
"Like I was saying, things are more strict.. I basically had to let alot of people pass, even out of my power. I would have failed them if possible- even one of your friends- I forget the name."
Me: ".. What? Who...?"

He got off of that topic quick. Hah! What the hell. Is it just me, or are principals not supposed to fucking talk like that?
He knew he offended me.. And immediatly got of the subject, saying how smart I was.
And that I should try harder.

Yet. He called my mom, getting me into a shitload of trouble with my parents. I wasn't even on good terms with them before this. But this adds to a list of put downs now.

He thinks I don't give a shit. At all.
I may come off like that. But he doesn't fucking know me. Like he thinks. He thinks he has me pinned exactly the way he wants.
"Do you not care at all? Wait, I know you don't. But think of your future."
He thinks I don't care? He has the fucking nerve to think that. He doesn't know me.
... I'm so angry. So fucking angry. I don't know what else to say, truely. I try. I try to make people understand. It's not enough.

I should just go and kill myself now. I hate. Hatee. Hate, school. I may aswell drop out and be a useless piece of shit like he wants me to be. He sucessfully made me feel like a worthless idiot.

My legs hurt, I'm cold, and my throat hurts. I'me lonesome as hell, and no one wants to associate with me anymore. Bitch, bitch.

... I'm going to go take a walk. Hopefully I'll get in the way of a car.