http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:CroiBriste&section=today deviantART RSS for by:CroiBriste en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:21:59 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/26611772/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/26611772/ Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:20:29 PDT I've been up in space for a while. Gone away.
But I'm back.

I haven't updated in a while. But I doubt anyone was tearing their hair out in anticipation. I went through some of my college sketchbooks this evening and picked out a few drawings I like, to update. Along with the proper deviations I put up.
There's also a few drawings in the Scraps section.

So a lot of the new stuff is actually old 6-12 months at most.
In general no references of any kind are used, unless I say so. 'Cause I'm da boss, liek.

I have a few other things to submit but they're too large to scan so I'll photograph them tomorrow because it's late now.


At the moment, I'm illustrating my best friends poetry, doing a tattoo design for my gf and finally doing work on the website. It's almost finished. Gonna make a new myspace too.
That's enough babbling. Goodnight.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/25884468/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/25884468/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:29:17 PDT I get so little out of DA anymore. And therein lies the problem.

I don't really come on to DA much lately. I want to get my own website soon. I have a free hosted one, but something paid for would be nicer. But I have a feeling this will be on the To-Do list for quite a while.

I don't know why I'm writing this, and my grammar is all wrong.

[link]

I'm really enjoying my time in Kilkenny.. But I'm not drawing as often as I'd like.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/23006567/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/23006567/ Wed, 04 Feb 2009 16:37:36 PST


To Yasmine
I am so sorry and embarrassed for not having written back to you in so long
I'm such an arse when it comes to punctuality and just being plain reliable!! I promise I'll note you before the week is out

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/21701401/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/21701401/ Thu, 27 Nov 2008 14:53:15 PST
College is going pretty good. It's a madhouse for mad kids. I had a review with my tutors yesterday and it went really well; I'm finally grasping the idea of self-direction and the essence of design. Florence was... stunning. Perhaps the most beautiful place I have ever been. Their history and art is strewn about the city like weeds and rubbish. Everywhere you turn you see something you grew up looking at in pictures, and yet, there it is right there casually going "alrigh', dahlin'?". The first night we all went out at 2am to a deserted Firenze and while walking, just happened upon the Santa Maria del Feure. Like an enormous iced cake, all to ourselves. Cue 20 minutes of "OMFG!" and visible shaking from overwhelming awe and emotion. Michelangelo's David ended art half a millenium ago; everything else since, just fucking pales in comparison.

So in all, things are pretty good; I'm enjoying myself a lot. Have an essay due for Monday, which I haven't really gotten into, but no one has. I hate aesthetics. I also built a website (nialloreilly.fortunecity.com), which has become my new distraction. I'm building a new one, which will be on the way soon and will have a large section for 's band.
I like to think of myself as a pimp.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/20972148/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/20972148/ Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:27:08 PDT
A lot of things have changed in the past few weeks. I'm now living in Dublin, right next to good old BlueBells (the name is sinisterly deceptive). I'm not that keen on it, as Dublin is the filthest most unIrish place in the country. But I'm growing tolerant of it. I have to be here.

I'm attending NCAD, which is about the only thing about this city that's making me smile. It's... a wonderful place. Sitting right beside the methadone centre and the old Guinness factory. It smells like oats and cattle feed a lot of the time; although today I think they must have a newbie working there, because it smelt like someone had burnt the hops or something - was horrible. My tutors are great; helpful but lenient and the rest of Core Year, and the college, are some of the most pleasant people you could hope to meet. Although for a while there people had their heads up their holes with this notion of "OMZG im n NCAD!!11!". But that's whittled away now... It really is a great place. Funny stuff happens here. We have a Pirate Society.

So inbetween working late, College Balls, Kilkenny and home, not much else is happening. Going to Florence next month, although Berlin seems to be the chic place to be according to everyone else. Oh those cool kids.

I probably won't come on here as much as I used to - it reminds me of too much that I want to forget. But thank you, to all the wonderful people I've met on here...

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/20249957/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/20249957/ Sun, 31 Aug 2008 09:34:10 PDT


I've lost my muse..








The last week or two have been... bad. I wouldn't say I normally walk around with white noise and gloomy thoughts in my head, but I can't seem to keep them quiet. Except for the work in the updates, I have nothing to show. I can't concentrate. I feel really edgy and distracted. I'd like to draw, but I don't know why for - just to prove to myself I can still do it? That's not a good enough reason.











I'd like some cookie dough ice cream. But I live in the sticks.


]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/19831471/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/19831471/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:56:47 PDT
And now, so have you.




I'm back from Oz.

I'm still a bit jet lagged and confused, and, my hayfever has come right back so that keeps me awake.

I got my place offer from NCAD the other day and so that's were I'm headed next month.

I'm doing my best to keep my mind occupied and not turn into a vegetating basement-dweller.

I'm doing art pieces for James and Vinny's house.

Speaking of art; my work has taken... a different approach. People probably won't like it. I not fond of it. But art is meant to be personal and not dance around the happy happy boundaries; even if that means delving into some dark primal parts.

I can't stop using "fail" as a statement.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/19477293/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/19477293/ Sat, 19 Jul 2008 05:41:29 PDT "Blooming from the stem of my tongue"

Wet Evening in April

The birds sang in the wet trees
And I listened to them it was a hundred years from now
And I was dead and someone else was listening to them.
But I was glad I had recorded for him
The melancholy.

Patrick Kavanagh

[link]
[link]
[link]

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/19439202/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/19439202/ Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:21:03 PDT





Her work is simplistic, dark and moody. I love it because it's modest and sincere, and doesn't feel the need to play up to any fashionable way of thinking or appearing.

Small, delicate, and crushingly sad, her work touchs the deepest, and most universal of our feelings.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/19229093/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/19229093/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 02:46:15 PDT
I've forgotten to copy and paste the rules but I need to write down 8 random and oh-so-fabulous facts about our FAVOURITE human - Me! Please please, contain yourselves, ladies.

1. I am in Australia-land. That's fucked up enough to have the weight of 8 facts, but, Pokie says no...

2.Hanging out with April was been magic, and, an eye-opener.

3. I just got back from South West Rocks. Europe thinks it's got the whole sunshine paradise thing sorted, pfft, I say "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ha ha ha ha...*into the distance*". God sought to make the rest of us weep in awe went he created this little pothole on the coast... or just went he made Oz-land.

4. I accidentally drowned my Onion in the ocean I"m totally gutted, not even for the fact I have no phone. It's an emotional attachment...

5. I LOVE TEA. Drink of the Gods.

6. I turned 20, in a Qantas plane, somewhere over South-East Asia. I wanted to tell the old French pair beside me, but, somehwere I don't think they would've cared.

7. I'm one of only 60 people in Ireland going to the National College of Art & Desgin!! Wooooo!! bitches ain't got shit on me! *gangsta*(April calls me D-Niall! >.<

8. I miss my family and friends terribly. I never thought I'd dote over a baby (Toby rocks ). I touched the Opera House. Grand. Class. FI-LM. Scarf. Deadly. Savage. Petal.



I done tags....

In other news... I swam in the Pacific ocean at 7.30 AM. I saw the night sky from the Southern Hemisphere - it's overpowering. I'm in love with Sydney. I has Amano. April's family are uber cool - cooler than my Mam and Da. I thought I'd be full of the culture oddness, but this whole country is a totally different ballgame. I've realised I can spot an Irish person a mile off, without really listening to them speak - it's an odd thing, because you don't really know WHY, you just, know. I'm hungry. Dinner time!

x

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/18649129/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/18649129/ Tue, 03 Jun 2008 16:56:30 PDT
After nearly 4 years, the whole thing gets a little surreal, so excuse my babbling.
I have no preconceptions, but over the last few days, my stomach seems hell-bent on devouring itself, so we'll run with that.

I won't be back for a while, so, until then, mind the house my lovelies.

p.s. It's also my birthday on Thursday.. I'll be 2 decades old and a quarter of my way through my life. Gay

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/18335661/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/18335661/ Thu, 15 May 2008 12:19:49 PDT
[link]

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/18152363/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/18152363/ Sat, 03 May 2008 17:02:33 PDT What really is the difference.

So the Lisbon Treaty is coming up my fellow Paddy's and Leprechauns.

It's kind of funny, this is probably the biggest thing that's happened to the EU since it was formed like half a century ago and with the referendum a month away, I don't hear anyone talking about it except some small articles in the spreadsheets and some stupid hippy posters on the lampposts telling us how evil the whole thing is, next to the ironic "Organising Anarchy" ones.


But from the projected mood, it seems the "No" crowd are a few percent ahead of the "Yes" bandwagon. Oeh dear.


But there is something slightly unsettling about the whole thing. What happened to democracy? Thanks to a small glitch in our constitution we are the only country in 27 (that's 450 MILLION europeans) who get to say whether we are paving the way to a European SuperState the errosion of national identity.
Ok it may not all be that doom and gloom, but even our own Taoiseach admited the new "Treaty" is, next to the old draft of the "Constitution", "90% the same in substance... not much is changed"

It's kind of frightening to think that 4 million oblivious (the opinion polls are split in thirds, yes, no and unsure) redneck culchies from a small rugged island on the edge is going to give this the 2 fingers or sent us all somewhere...unpleasant. It's even more scary to think that, if we're to pay heed to the rumours going around, that EU government members are conspiring with the Irish government for a favourable outcome. That's capitalist. It sounds rigged. I don't know how the rest of Europe feels about it. The last time a Constitution was proposed (the predessecor to the current one) the Dutch and French public politely told it to fuck off. Only this time around, their MEP's and government's decided FOR them. Favourably, naturally. Is that not slightly...suspicious?

I'm very Pro-Euro, and although I won't be in the country to vote at the time, I will be voting No. And it seems from the public mood, so will the rest of the country.

When I was working the pub the other night, an old man explained to me that the EU is like a brick wall. What we've already developed and shared so far is like the cement that holds the blocks (countries) together and gives it a greater strength and unity. But are we getting to the point now, with this Treaty etc. where it's now just a WALL, where you can no longer see the bricks and cement, where they've been assimilated to become just the "wall" (EU Superstate?)

I think he was right, and that's maybe where we're going with this..."Treaty"



I dunno, this is a baaad journal, but I feel like people n eed to think about it more.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/18052920/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/18052920/ Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:52:03 PDT Never thought I'd do you the same
Never thought I'd fill with desire
Never thought I'd feel so ashamed

Me and the Dragon
Can chase all the pain away
So before I end my day
Remember

My sweet prince
You are the one
My sweet prince
You are the one

Never thought I'd have to retire
Never thought I have to abstain
Never thought all this could backfire
Close up the hole in my vein

Me and my valuable friend
Can fix all the pain away
So before I end my day
Remember

My sweet prince
You are the one
My sweet prince
You are the one
You are the one x4

Never thought I'd get any higher
Never thought you'd fuck with my brain
Never thought all this could expire
Never thought you'd go break the chain

Me and you baby
Used to flush all the pain away
So before I end my day
Remember

My sweet prince
You are the one
My sweet prince
You are the one
You are the one x8

My sweet prince

My sweet prince






It's kinda funny, in a not so funny way, how you can lose sight of yourself.

You become overgrown and unchecked. A thorny, nasty, little bramble bush.

Perhaps that's what happens to insane people. It just creeps up on you.
At least though, I have honest, caring friends who aren't afraid of giving me a much needed wake-up kick in the arse, when I'm crossing the line.

Yeah..

In other news, college finishes tomorrow, and I booked my ticket for Australia yesterday..

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/17678174/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/17678174/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:24:46 PDT

I'm really happy.

This has been churning my nerves for a while now and they were very late this year with sending out the results, so I'm glad it's over. For a while I'd resigned to not being accepted and that Limerick would be a better choice anyway. Although they're considered equals nowadays, NCAD is still always considered the best in the country and has the prestige and aura Limerick can't have, because it's the oldest and it's the only art college that's recognised as a university (there's only 4). It's kinda gay, and the amount of snobbish and god-awful rumour stories I've heard about the place really put me off. But right now, I DON'T CARE!!



]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/17514554/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/17514554/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:09:24 PDT
So, anyway, yeah, the Eurovision used to be pretty good, as far as I can remember. But in the last few years, there's been a massive rise in, well, shittiness, throughout the whole thing. I'm sure it's had it's fair share of bad runs and terrible songs before, but hey, at least they were being serious at the time, if maybe oblivious.
But ever since Finland won (and perhaps it was creeping in before that), the whole thing just became a charade. It became what I imagine most countries REALLY think of Europe, not as this highly cultured borderless landmass, but as this hippy commune that screams "EUROTRASH".

The last few Eurovisions were most of that, anyway.

I don't ever remember Ireland winning, I was too young at the time, I think. But we're quite good at it, holding the record of having won it 7 times. But it seems even we have been swept up in the whirlwind attitude of "Ah sure, fuck it. No one's wearing shirts and ties, so why should we". So after abstaining from the bandwagon for so many years, and insisting on entering good songs, we've eventually given up and joined the rest of the euro nuts. So, joining Lordi and that Ukrainian tinman, this is Ireland's entry for '08

[link]

Yep. Your ears are bleeding, no? His name is Dustin the Turkey and I grew up watching him on an Irish children's show. He does my head in, though, and I can't even bring myself to listen to the song the full way through. Yes it's just a joke and it's only playing up to the silliness of the Eurovision, but stiiiiill, we're going to embarrass ourselves in front of our neighbours
Argh.
Erase the memory with this: [link]
*EDIT this version with Lisa Kelly and Mairéad Nesbitt is far better: [link]
This is the most beautiful entry Ireland has ever had and it's everything an international song trying to represent it's homeland, should be.

Can't see myself saying the same thing about that stupid turkey...

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/17373682/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/17373682/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 04:50:23 PDT
Skittzo (www.brokenchiasm.deviantart.com) He's getting much better at writing, and although his stuff takes a while to get into, it's so worth when you do.. (It always reminds me of the Deftones) To me it always seems to be based on the emotion and abstract thought of the moment... he's going back to Holland (take me too!!! ) at the end of the week, so hopefully Iggi and the trams will give him inspiration.

Celeste (aka Sall Sall, www.shepsoverthere.deviantart.com) She hasn't much stuff up right now, but she's a brilliant poet, esp. this piece ([link]) She generally writes long stuff, which she texts to me and treats me to at 4 in the morning T_T


It's been a while since I updated anything, dA is kinda putting me off the whole thing. But, I did start painting something last night that has been scaring me off for a while.

Oeh, and by the way, Happy Saint Patrick's Day!!

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/16911236/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/16911236/ Sat, 16 Feb 2008 08:56:35 PST

Today's my Dad's birthday and I completely forgot. I feel terrible
My neighbour died yesterday too, she was very old though and everyone knew it was coming. A lot of local people seem to be dying lately. What made me feel uncomfortable about this was that, I know exactly what I was doing the moment she died: on the phone with April, or just about to hang up. That duality is creepy. I know exactly what I was diong the moment someone over the road died.


Well that sucked the fun right out of this journal =.

Anyway, the last week has been the most boring 7 days of my life. It's seemed to stretch on FOREVER, and for good reasons and I seem totally incapable of entertaining myself in ANY way. But I'm back to college on Monday and back to art; this time it's my personal project which will be exhibited in May. My theme, not really of my own doing, is based on war. Not exactly an original theme... At the moment I'm doing a very Renaissance painting of St. Michael overcoming Satan and casting him out of heaven, using all my knowledge of formal elements and composition and angelic man boys with curly locks. Satan looks like some eggheaded baby with a man's body. So I'm giving him long luscious hair. Vanity is his favourite sin afterall.

I don't know where I'm going with this so I'll shut up
Hope eveyone's well and that you enjoyed the recent commercial holiday

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/16551609/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/16551609/ Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:20:43 PST How're you all keeping? Well, I hope.

So, I'm not really intending to write much in this; I just wanted to let you all know, that I won't really be on here for a long while. I'll drop in every now and then to keep things dusted, but I won't be updating.

The reason?

College. The deadline for the NCAD portfolio submission is the 8th of February, so since I've returned from Christmas holidays, and even all along, I'v ebeen working myself into the ground for this. NCAD is, the best art university in the country and one of the oldest institutions. People like Philip Treacy, WB Yeats and the daughter of John Rocha have attended it. I want this so much, it's scaring me.

Although I've been pushing myself throughout, I've been doubley inspired to go for it, since hearing that this little missy is going to be attending COFA in Sydney. It's been that extra push I needed. She's an inspiration, not only as the girl she is, but her focus, drive and ambition to reach her full potential. This in itself, is a small example of her tremendous talent [link]
So desperate flu and fever ignored, I've become so determined to do this, because, even though I'm convinced they won't accept me, I know that I'm good enough to survive there. When everyone else was out partying or slouched down watching shit Monday night tv, I was arting. Not because I'm arrogant, but because I just couldn't. Although a handful are applying, many are only doing it to gauge a result, and Louise and I seem to be the only two who are most determined, so we're sticking together.

Dreams don't come without a nasty unpleasant fight, I know that much. I've always worked hard at it, but I never realised how draining it could really be. And lately I'm learning the true value of suffering for your art.

Right now I feel like falling over if I get up off my bed. So I'm gonna do the necessaries, and try and get some sleep. I may upload one painting between now and forever, as it's very special for 2 reasons.

Until then, sleep tight and lots of love things
Niall, the big river and crazy pirate/High King who kidnapped St. Patrick (true story, look it up)

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/16475782/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/16475782/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 13:47:35 PST NO BLACKS
NO IRISH

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/16370331/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/16370331/ Sat, 12 Jan 2008 10:13:31 PST
Everything I turn my hand to now, ends up as a frustrating mess.


And I cannot work out if this is coming from my mood, which is desperately more sarcastic, bitter and distressed of late.
Or if it is from the person on whom my thoughts seem perpetually dwelled.


I'm not enjoying this anymore.


It sickens me to my stomach that I'm weak. That I'm powerless to resist this. That I let my thoughts get the better of me. That I can't control what comes as natural to me as eating.


The deadline for the NCAD application is less than a month away. It's the oldest and most prestigious art college in the country and when they reject you, it's final. I won't make it, and I hate hearing "you will! @_@"
I'm seriously thinking about giving up on the whole thing.

I will never end up doing what I want to do; I'll never be happy. I will always be at the beck and call of some fat fucking money machine. Clickey clickey fingers. So what's the point? And in a world and universe so full of pain and disappointment, where I am completely nothing, who am I to have the cheek to complain?

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/15970081/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/15970081/ Mon, 17 Dec 2007 08:07:36 PST So if you're interested in arting with me, bear in mind, I'll probably have to email you my line/inked drawings. I could paint yours yes, but that would involve postage and stamps and address writing and, god forbid, ozone destroying air machines... So yes, if you'd like to commission me for a piece or collaboration; I'm open. I think I might even start this as a freebie thing at first. To practice Visual Communication; seeing as that's what I'd like to do in a career. That, or Fine Art Painting.. Then again, I should check out PayPal.


In other dull news... I got my ECDL cert on Saturday. For anyone who doesn't know, it stands for European Computer Driving License. It means I'm all geeked out with computers, and that, if I so wish, I can also legally drive them from A to B across the continent..



Something interesting I read the other day, on the Euro/Irish condition. As you grow older, you become more susceptible to your environment. At times it's hard to grasp your identity in the flow of history; your place in the world. A sense of belonging to something and understanding it's condition. I thought this hit on some good points. It's an interview with Ronan Harris, from VNV Nation; done in Manhattan, I think.

You really like living in Hamburg, don’t you?

It’s a great city, the second biggest in Germany. Very cool vibe, something to do every night, great scene … It doesn’t matter what kind of music you’re into, whether you’re into punk, industrial, goth, or dance music, or whatever, there’s something there for everybody, and it’s never superficial. Every scene I’ve seen in Hamburg is a real community. Everybody knows everybody, everybody talks to each other.

The one thing Europe doesn’t have, and I really salute them for this, is bickering, backbiting, and gossip. It doesn’t exist. I mean, in London they have it, but in Germany it doesn’t exist. People just don’t gossip. They don’t make up stories. It’s incredible; people in Germany are like, “Livejournal? What’s that?” Like we don’t care—it’s amazing. I’m sure that people who are frustrated and tortured will be prone to that kind of activity, like they need to externalize their pain onto other people, externalize the torment that they’ve got inside themselves, but why don’t people find other outlets for it?

The other thing that makes Europe very different from here is that America is a very homogenous society, and you are trained every day on TV to be part of a homogenous society. In Europe you’re more encouraged to be an individual. Being an individual is fine, as long as you pay your taxes and work with everybody, you won’t get stared at for looking different in Germany. Not at all, in fact.

Were you brought up with an appreciation for Irish cultural icons like Yeats, Seamus Heaney, and Turlough O’Carolan?

The answer to that is completely 100 percent yes. I grew up with traditional music. My mother is a country woman, my dad is also. He loves literature, he loves books. He’s a very educated man. He loves knowledge and books, and I love the same thing. In school we learned about Yeats. In school we learned about Patrick Kavanagh, who’s my favourite poet. Yeats is someone I sometimes find very boring, sometimes not. Whether it be any aspect of Irish culture, we’re a very proud country, and very patriotic. We also have a very serious complex about ourselves: We always think of ourselves as second-rate; we’re always trying to prove something to somebody.

Six hundred years of domination and occupation will do that to you. It’s very bizarre. We don’t think of ourselves in terms of fifty years, or a hundred years, in terms of culture. Germans have a serious identity issue. Most Germans don’t even want to believe that Germany existed before 1945. They are so disgusted by it. It’s incredible. You can make all the stereotypes you want in popular culture, as Hollywood does, and then you go there, and those people live every day with absolute guilt and shame. The thing is, they are the most passive people I’ve ever met. They are very nature-oriented like “Let’s live peacefully with one another,” and they really try to do that. Ireland, well, we just have a party, we just drink. [laughter] We’re in no shape to be sent anywhere in the world. We think of ourselves in terms of how many thousands of years old we are, as... ]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/15858078/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/15858078/ Sun, 09 Dec 2007 05:57:11 PST

Run, run, run as fast as you can; you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man.


"I watched you change, into a fly
I looked away, you are on fire"


What the eye don't see, the heart don't grieve after.


"My heart has joined the thousands. My friend stopped running today"


Silence is golden (?)


"Without you, I'm nothing"

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/15393322/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/15393322/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 14:49:20 PST

I don't like being disorganised; As much as I am, it's something I really hate and have never come to be relaxed with. I must have about a million post-it's inside my head of things that pinch harder the longer you leave them..
It only adds to the hot air chested stress of...everything.

I'm not falling behind on my course, but I feel I am somehow.

They say "never be afraid of moving forward, only be afraid of standing still"

Well, I'm afraid of both; and yet I'm stuck. I don't want things to change, although I can't stop them.

Do you think God forbade Adam and Eve the Apple of Knowledge because he knew the dire consequences of awareness? Like a Father trying to shield his children from horrors? Of weeping, of loneliness, of endless questions, of ultimately dying alone and without answers?


It's easier to feel clearer when your workspace, and your tasks are rythymic and orderly. You look at other people, their whole life somehow falsely summed up in front of you, and you wish for their... but you know in your heart it's only a lie.


I want, I need, constant progress. Like a diversion from what I already know, but, just don't want to acknowledge.. And yet, I want to fade into the shadows and be forgotten. For the lifetime that you are. It's crushing to know that, in 200 years, when you are gone and bones have turned to dust, no one will even remember your name. Your life, your whole little world of drama will still mean nothing.

Red and Green
Black and White


Things are lonely and abstract at the moment. I feel a million miles away from everyone. Especially those I shouldn't..





I haven't submitted now since the last millenium. I'm working on a lot of stuff right now. But between school, painting a special canvas and trying in vain to make every minute count, I'm getting things done. I'm realising I'm a workaholic. But I'm not enjoying this anymore...

I put up some scraps of my lifedrawing class today, and my nearly completed final tonal drawing. It's full of blue and yellow. Sorry for the shit photographs, I think it must've been the electric lights above me.











She's almost made the most prestigious exhibition in Australia-land. She's the artist and person I admire the most. Go worship this artist like a Goddess


]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/14950586/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/14950586/ Sun, 07 Oct 2007 05:04:23 PDT
Da question is: How important is your mobile to you? ("cell phone" for you americans o_O)

I ask this because, having been to many different places and spoken to many more different and unsettling people, it always casts a different slant on your own customs and unconscious habits. And from what I've experienced, it seems to me that Irish people are almost unique in the world in that, like alcohol and potatoes, they have taken to moblie phones like a first time heroin user.Now, to me it always seemed funny, that on an island of 5 million, where you can go anywhere in 6 hours and everyone knows everyone else, that mobiles would be a total failure. But it's not the case...

Old people have them.
Middle aged people have them.
"Young people" have them.
CHILDREN have them.
Pets probably have them! (or so the recent Kelloggs ad. would suggest...)

I've known people with more than one, I've known people who change their phone every couple of months and I've known of people who go through 20 euro or more a week, on them.

I used to think that, because so much of the country lacks PROPER broadband (eircom will tell you otherwise, but it's run by an australian, and they're just plain crazy anyway) that we turned to something else for contact. But then again, nearly everyone is online regularly regardless, and nearly every fucking kid in my old school was on this "networking" gimmick, Bebo.

Personally, my mobile phone is not just a "gadget". It is a lifeline. It's a physical part of me. It has it's own name, a pseudo-personality. I text and call with it, have photos of loved ones on it, listen to my own music and the radio on it. It goes EVERYWHERE with me. It's NEVER switched off. When I am parted from it, for even a few hours, I feel uneasy, lost and edgy. And that is no exaggeration. And is a reality for so many Irish people.
My love affair with it was worsened not long after I got my first phone a few years ago and switched to the network, Meteor. They offered free texts to other Meteor users for life (and now recently, free calls too) and that was a killer. When the mobile was invented, texting was just a novel extra that the manufacturors built in for fun, thinking it a useless feature anyway. But, how WRONG they were... in Ireland at least, it's almost impossible to describe how important texting is. Young and old. It's insane. Texting now, is second nature to me. My German friend could not believe how much I texted, and that I could text whilst gazing out the train window. I have more text conversations with my friends than vocal, and I send on average 50 messages a day, which, for 2 to 3 recipients, is a lot on normal terms. But it's a common thing for many people here, to text at least a dozen people and it can run to 100+ messages a day. My brother for example, has had his phone (not his first, though) for nearly a year now, and the internal message counter is reaching 40,000 ... Myself: with only a small handful of friends, have 3,600 texts and since being nominated for "phone a friend for free", have clocked up 40 hours of call time. All within 4 and a half months.

Many people would probably say it's a scourge, what with bankrupting parents, bastardizing the English language (u kno wot i mean? its gr8!), impotizing testicles and brains through radiation (mine are all a mush by now) and causing early arthritis in thumb(s). But I couldn't imagine life without it. With the exception of not being able to make me a cup of tea, it serves my every need. As it is now, maybe a lot more countries are becoming like this; without a doubt, up until recently, I think Ireland was unqiue in this symbiotic existence with le mobile phone. Makes us sound like cyborgs, huh?

But as Granpa Hatey from Squee! said, "I'm so full of artificial parts, I'm practically a cyborg!! You can't kill them, you know..."

Indeed.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/14886811/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/14886811/ Tue, 02 Oct 2007 15:04:09 PDT want to touch anything.
I don't want to feel anyone because I don't
care about anyone like that, and to touch it
is disgusting for all of it's emptiness.

It only reminds me of the emptiness."





You're not what you used to be, anymore.
Little by little, you've lost the essence that used to make you special, make you pure dancing colour.

You're becoming just like everyone else now, and we no longer live inside of our glorious little bubble.
Upon this royal blue tower.



A terribly perverted vanity.



And the people you're with now, full of that disgusting emptiness, you cannot even understand why I cannot
bear to even acknowledge them. The that way you've changed your dance...

Makes me sad to think back of when everything was yellow, yellow, yellow.



Like scattered murky waters.
Faraway laughter echoing in a stone bowl.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/14458385/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/14458385/ Sun, 02 Sep 2007 15:43:26 PDT

We've been saying we should meet up now, for God knows how long ^^" After many plans falling through, it just came about on a whim a few weeks ago. So it should be good fun! And I can practice my German too - woot!


So mind the house whilst I'm away my dears, and I shall be back sooooooooon. Oeh, and I have new pieces to put up, which I shall in the next day or two.

muwah!

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/14221897/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/14221897/ Sat, 18 Aug 2007 06:28:47 PDT
Well, after a month of no internet and no phones, I'm finally back. Yay!
It's strange how that happens... I never realised I was that reliant on the internet up until now, but, there ya go. It was kinda weird for a while there, I wasn't bothered and then again I was.

But it's all over now and I'd like to say a big SORRY to everyone who messaged me inbetween. I will get around to replying sooooon - I pwomise ^_^


Anyhoo, during my cold turkey stage I finally got around to plenty of art! It's what I love most about having finished school (the results came out the other day actually, I was happy ^^), all the free time! Well, after work anyway...which, by the way, is in Marina's in Ballinrobe. So come along and bully me ^_^ But yeah, it's great! Once you're finished your free time is yours so I've been abusing it going on a total art binge.

It's been...an oddity. Usually I finish one piece before I start another but lately once I've had the inspiration, I start straight away. S'fun! So yes, they shall be up soooooooooooon *lollipop*

speakinnnng of soon, it's my little sister's birthday tomorrow - and I haven't gotten her anything!! Yes, I am a monster. But what do you get a little girl whose only interests are pink, the pussycat dolls and harry potter? ....an automated lawnmower? *hopeful* I probably won't be able to get the shops till after the weekend, but I'll try and get her something. Maybe a new book; because dear lord all she reads is Harry Potter (I can smell really strong perfume just now) and now shes done each about a dozen times but she refuses to read anything else I've offered her - so I must go and get her something...

In other news, my brother's girlfriend is staying over now for the next 2 weeks or so. Should be pretty cool - she's really funny and she's seemed like one of the family so it hasn't been weird like I thought it would. She beat me in a spur of the moment game of milk-cap table hockey last night...for shame!

Speaking of hockey, I've decided how I'm going to approach college and the dickey-bow patterned beast that is "THIRD LEVEL EDUCATION!!" *robot arms*. I'm not keen on spending the WHOLE year at it, so I might go it on my own after a while, when I'm happy. Anyone else going to the GTI??

Oh, and one other strange thing just now.. I'm checking my emails and I have a message from Bebo. Now, I'm not a member of Bebo and have always just stayed away from that...sparkly fad...that gripped nearly everyone in my school. But it's telling me that I, "Henry" (wtf?), have been added by Kelly Herbert.. I think I know this girl and I recognise the email address.. but I'm not sure?

It's raining and wet and sunny outside. oooooeh yeah

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13829837/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13829837/ Sun, 22 Jul 2007 05:59:26 PDT


Please come home from England, for a visit or something, sometime soon.


It's been far too long now; seems like forever..

I really miss ya a lot your quirkiness and our long giggly conversations.

"deeeeadly buzzzzz"



Plus, I gotta make sure you're not gettin' an English accent =S

that'd be well propa minging, yeah?

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13723345/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13723345/ Fri, 13 Jul 2007 16:55:47 PDT
ich werde vergessen..

























Ich werde alles nicht bestehen.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13685198/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13685198/ Tue, 10 Jul 2007 16:33:16 PDT i'm not quick to anger at all, and in most cases i have mountains of patience for ANYTHING.
but holy fuck deviantart is really starting to piss me off lately!!

everytime i step in here it's a fucking uphill struggle to do the most basic of tasks. i sign in? i end up refreshing the page about 5 times cause it's timed out or "Done" ,when, in actual fact, i have a blank page. then i go to messages. refresh another half dozen times. then i try replying to a message. 5 minutes later, depending on the person, i've written a large reply and i press send....waiting....waiting...waiting...oh bollicks...i forgot to copy it didn't i? and now look...no response. hello Mr. F5 button...i'm here to assault you again ^^


It's just past midnight now. I've been on this site for nearly an hour and a half.

i've managed to sent 1 comment. that's right. ONE. FUCKING. COMMENT.
it's gotten to the point where i'm laughing now. the disbelief is gone and the insane giggles have settled in...


but now i'm thinking...it's not really dA's fault is it? i mean they service a few hundred thousand people or so right? and it's their birthday next month, so surely in this day and age, they'd have a server capable of managing this.



no... you see, where the real problem lies, is with internet DIAL UP. the scourge of the "modern" world. shit, at 44kps my internet is so fast that i can download a song in an hour... jealous, huh??


i'm sure none of the rest of you have this problem. you're all on that mysterious, ever present and boundless broadband, aren't you?

yes, you are. as all people living in 1st world countries are aren't they?


oh. but wait a minute... I live in a first world country!

no, the problem it seems, is that, yet again, ireland has come bottom of the table
but outwardly we don't like to show that, no...
standing at the bus/train station with vinny two weeks ago, i couldn't help but notice the tacky poster across from me. it had one of those greasy haired fools, straight out of college with a look that says "my mammy loves me cause i'm such a good boy". it was an advertisement for Iarnróid Éireann (the national train company) and accompanied by the slogan of "Be part of the fastest growing rail network in Europe"

i laughed out loud.
you know why?
because nearly ALL of our surrounding european neighbours have had fully functioning rail systems for the past century!!!


here's a government still trying to spit shine a dated and disfunctional machine. the exact same with our third world health system, our overcrowded national schools, our insanely priced houses (250,000 euros +) our tourism (pictures of sun drenched coasts, surfing, hiking etc...it rains constantly all year round ^^) and SO many more examples.

one of which, is the country's internet networks.
only the cities have broadband. and by European standards, even THAT is slow.


tis a joke.





and now all the TD's are on their 3 month holidays after a "gruelling" general election last month..
whilst i'm here laughing insanely..







have you ever noticed that this little island looks like a teddybear in profile?

i'm sure there's many irish people here who would just love to take that Spire in Dublin (another waste of our money. 4 million euro on a pole) and stick up this teddy bear's arse..




by now, i have no idea what i'm talking about... but i am right

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13513993/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13513993/ Wed, 27 Jun 2007 15:26:50 PDT


heh.


you know what i'd love? what would be really funny?
if aliens, preferably friendly, came down from the skies.

that would TOTALLY fuck up religion.
not that i'm some evil perverted whiney thing that hates god. quite the contrary.

but dear lord satan how i hate all those stupid spin offs of christianity.
and i hate hearing their doctrine of hate and stupidity being broadcast across the world.



but if aliens arrived...heehee...that would SO fuck up the entire basis of "evidence" for bible huggers (you know the kind)







that would shut them up

why am I saying this?
I do know.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13304802/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13304802/ Mon, 11 Jun 2007 15:00:42 PDT and it only rained earlier on for like an hour. an hour!
i'd been waiting all week...*sad violin*





i don't like the heat. i like sunny weather. but not heat.

so james and i have decided we're gonna move further north than we already are. far far away...

maybe alaska, or siberia, or finland <3

or, maybe somewhere closeby... somewhere cool and eccentric, like,
like like like....ICELAND!! 8D

*canoe*


anybody wanna come??
from there i plan to make a mayonnaise and petroleum bomb which will blow up the sun, and, end this senseless suffering

YAAAAAY!
i'd like to note that for my own reasons i do NOT believe in man made global warming. so don't you go telling me what to do with my bomb or my genius or that the fumes from my rocket will further add to the planets carbon "polluting" and so increase it's temperature...!! *shakes fist*

irony

in other news...i no longer have to do english, irish or maths EVER again =3

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13192789/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13192789/ Sat, 02 Jun 2007 18:07:39 PDT
please?




grr...
fuckin' plant sperm.
ew.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13154350/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13154350/ Wed, 30 May 2007 17:29:57 PDT The passions that drive us should
be the ones we respect and admire.
To feel contempt for one's own
motivations is a vulgar thing.

Too often, it seems, I've succumbed
to less than admirable compulsions
driven by this furiously reprehensible
machine of mine.
So many things inside that I can do
without - Desires and urges and what not.
So extraneous.

By the time I write in this book again, I hope to
be as cold as the moon that lights this page."

-Johnny C




blah.
i have some art stuff that i'm nearly finished with now. they should be good.
i turn 19 next week and,
i sit the most important and intense exams of my life next week. my whole future. summed up in 8 days.
shoot me.

but on the plus side...ehm...
i ate coco pops earlier?

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13142180/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13142180/ Tue, 29 May 2007 18:20:42 PDT
i slay angels

i take your Mam out on dates to the pub, order more drink than i can handle, ignore her, act "manly" around the lads, shout and swear at the gaelic football team playing on the tv and then take her home...not before a quick "shift" and a bag of greasy shit chips

last time i looked at the clock it was morphine. then 1.23am

that figure is out to get me

Matisse's doctor once told him he painted with such bright colours that he should wear glasses

farmer Dave says..."FUCK YOU OLD MC DONALD"
Old Mc SQUARE says....FUCK YOU CIRCLE

i'm nearly on 4,000 pageviews. 2 and a half years now.

i don't have to do maths class any more. i finished school last week.

i can see croagh patrick from my house. it looks like a pyramid on mondays. on sundays i spews fire and lava and bears an uncanny resemblance to Mt. Doom in LOTR

i live in europe

in the words of sally "are you cold? would you like an orange?"
in worse words of sally...i tell her it's coloUr not color...she says it's math..not mathS

your Ma proposed to me again last night. i had to beat her with a racoon. it spoke spanish

skittles is my european dutch whore of a husband.

my knee hurts again

ich bin deine schlampe

i rediscovered video games last week. after 10 years. at the single worst time in my life *points to exams last week* plus i don't want to turn into...THAT...again.

i'm really hungry O.o

*hippo talk*

i killed your woodgrain teacher because he was a Rechtsradikaler
no. not really

ostrich eggs are the biggest known cells in the world

speaking of dinosaur eggs. i once stole one off the president of finland. i contemplated eating it or making egg tempura paint...but i waited too long. it hatched. and i raised him, and called him jimmy. jimmy grew up to be a big ugly dinosaur (though i always lied to him) all the other kiddies at playschool made fun of him...every day. being the horribly incompetent parent that i am, i laughed secretly. until one day he devoured the bully children. i supported him whole heartedly from then on, although relations were tense; a little fearful, and i had trouble sleeping without my hunting knife, 2 by 4 plank, stun gun, flashlight, whisk, handgun, death ray, baseball bat, magnum and pump action semi-automatic shotgun under my pillow. just as precautions... the years passed and he grew into a troublesome teenager, listening to grunge and free form jazz...growing long hair, never bathing and complained how no one understood his terrible plight at 14 y/o. a feigned lost soul. his situation was unique in human and dinosaur history. he got over this period though...although he never laid down the eye liner from his Dino Emo days...something that nagged me until the day he came through the door with Bruce. then it hit homo...i mean home! he graduated college with his masters degree in jam making, rose through the ranks of Nestlé and eventually overthrew it's evil french rulers - now having the power over nutella, Nesquik and other such wholesome breakfast worthy shit. but always remaining true to his special brand of jam. he even tried to have americans change it from peanut butter and jelly, to peanut butter and jam. french fries having previously been changed to "freedom" fries by a "holy" war...
the end.


Curious George...and the High Voltage Fench.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13010140/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/13010140/ Sat, 19 May 2007 07:24:27 PDT ..ag críocnaithe

*sigh*

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/12878118/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/12878118/ Mon, 07 May 2007 16:06:13 PDT *swells with pride because of where I live*

anways, so, ehm, happy Europe day everyone?

go now children and celebrate!

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/12493313/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/12493313/ Sat, 07 Apr 2007 07:54:02 PDT
my friends all stopped running today...

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/12338659/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/12338659/ Mon, 26 Mar 2007 15:50:19 PDT
...The Devil.

The Devil drinks EVERY day!

Sometimes, at LUNCHTIME!"

heyo.
well, I haven't updated or put up much in a while now, and there's reasons for that. Useless ones which, of course are mainly due to school and study (well, the pretense of it anyway...0.0). There's going to be a lot going on in the next couple of weeks, mock oral exams, the real ones and then....the LC....eep.

I can't believe I only have like 32 SCHOOL DAYS left in my entire life...wow 0.0 and what's even worse is that I have like 71 days until the most important exam of my life...

I can hardly wait...

so it'll be a while before I put up anything proper. Which is kind of annoying for me, 'cause I've had a LOAD of ideas lately (they NEVER seem to come when you have all the time in the world to do them, do they?)...but, at least I'm drawing them rather than stock piling them in my head eating away at me.

But yeah, I have some stuff I'll try and finish this week...and then, this Friday ish Easter so I'll have plenty of spare time I hope...

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/12139885/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/12139885/ Sun, 11 Mar 2007 06:20:18 PDT ooooooeh i'm sorry about this weekend!! but i'll make it up to you next week, k?

and we'll have allah down, and it'll be paddy's weekend! w00t! ^.^

heehee


ik hou van jou, en ik zal je op de tafel neuken...met mij...de konijntje ^_^



*sniff* they grow up so fast...i'll soon be sending you off to national school

*adjusts your little tie, wipes some dirt off your cheek and hands you your lunch in a thomas the tank engine lunchbox*

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11910766/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11910766/ Wed, 21 Feb 2007 16:07:15 PST -Grandpa Simpson


"why worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in australia."

-Charles Schultz.

uber brilliant ^^


LETS BE PIRATES!!!!!!!!!!! *ARRRRRR & beards & and cutlasses and class pants* it's a cliché all this pirating, yes. but, rainbow is the new black hey?
wanna race donkeys on the german autobahns?? mine goes a bazillion kms an hour ^^

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11799918/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11799918/ Tue, 13 Feb 2007 14:23:01 PST
I miss you, hun

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11647692/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11647692/ Thu, 01 Feb 2007 13:14:24 PST plenty of people with their mouths hanging open, telling me i'm crazy for not applying.

seems if you don't, you'll eventually be joining the charismatic people who sit on O'Connell street in Dublin, or thereabouts, wrapped in blankets, playing doctor...

heh.

well. i have my own plans...so, yeah.
i hope i don't regret this.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11590491/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11590491/ Sat, 27 Jan 2007 17:13:31 PST battle helmets everyone!

1. i have an unhealthy addiction to tea (and sometimes coffee). i have a cup with me right now...

2. i'm turning 19 soon...and i seriously look like a 13 year old (girl, aswell, cause of the hair T_T )...that's baaaaaad. like a sheep *baaaa!!*

3. i'm irish. now THAT'S weird..

4. i've been studying german for like, 5 and a half years now and you'd seriously think i started like, 4 months ago. embarrassing...

5. i'm laaaazy and unmotivated o_O

6. i have a stupid voice that sounds gay...*is not cillian murphy sexy*


i tag...

mybrokenshadow
brokenchiasm
misyblubb
naanwin
introvert-artist
sabaku-no

and rules are:

The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things/hates about yourself" and people who get tagged MUST write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things/hates as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11566159/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11566159/ Thu, 25 Jan 2007 15:07:40 PST
The bicycles go by in twos and threes -
There's a dance in Billy Brennan's barn tonight,
And there's the half-talk code of mysteries
And the wink-and-elbow language of delight.
Half-past eight and there is not a spot
Upon a mile of road, no shadow thrown
That might turn out a man or woman, not
A footfall tapping secrecies of stone.

I have what every poet hates in spite
Of all the solemn talk of contemplation.
Oh, Alexander Selkirk knew the plight
Of being king and government and nation.
A road, a mile of kingdom, I am king
Of banks and stones and every blooming thing.
- Patrick Kavanagh -

"One must want nothing to be different. Not
backwards, not forwards, not in all eternity.
Not only bear what is necessary...But to LOVE it."
- Nietzsche

An fáth,
sa saol,
sa ngrá,
sa bás,
san ealáin.
Na ceisteanna...agus na freagraí.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11462526/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/11462526/ Tue, 16 Jan 2007 16:12:04 PST

But, I had a meeting with my Careers teacher the other day. FINALLY! is a year and a half a bit late? o_O heh...and the deadline in 2 weeks time...anyway. So, yeah, I spent a half an hour sitting there listening to all this crap about study and how many hours I should be doing, and this and that...and I'm nodding and agreeing and thinking "why the fudge are you wasting time telling me this?! I've already been studying since september...blah".

So she answered my questions, about college and art and travelling. Alles goed.


During it she took out my Appitude test thingy...the one we all took last year. To the best of my memory (which, if you know me well, is a fucking joke) I haven't seen it since I took it all of one year ago-ish.
I was thrilled when she told me that I came in the top 10 percentile of Spatial relations. yay ^^ that means that of all the leaving certs in the country, i came in the top ten percent for visualising things, well, in 3Dimensions and colours and, well, artsy intelligience.

that was nice to know ^^

As for anything else that might be happening? nooooooooo. it's january. So, not only is it colder and darker than all of winter before this, it's also the fucking start of the year. GAY. And the mocks are right smack in the middle of february...oh yeah!!! man, I cannot wait to fail...

And my art and things...sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo slow >.<
AND after 2 years, i finally finished my sketchbook!! *sniff* i loved that thing...and i finished the other one, so now, i'm actually stuck for paper to draw on! buh. and only galwy sells proper sketchpads...headford sells...tree skin.

So, if anyone wants to whisk me away on a magic goose to somewhere special, I'm all for it...

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10891684/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10891684/ Wed, 29 Nov 2006 14:51:18 PST
maybe so...

but i've learned that things don't always work out exactly as you'd thought.
or hoped.
or planned.

and manifest in, maybe, a completely different way...

i had always thought that the first time i'd ever hear your voice would be in an airport.
or from just randomly arriving at your house.
even in the metro?

but no, in the quaintest way that things always seem to blossom...

i heard you for the first time at the back of a differentiation maths class, at 10am on a grey wednesday morning...

and it is the sexiest thing i've ever heard...

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10699114/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10699114/ Sun, 12 Nov 2006 09:36:06 PST I'd freeze us both in time.
And find a brand new way of seein',
Your eyes forever glued to mine"

*is missing someone*


i'm back now. and i finally answered all my messages. yay.

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10699062/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10699062/ Sun, 12 Nov 2006 09:29:50 PST
I'm sick.
And it's no fun; especially since the doctor's not sure what i have...could be tonsilitis, or glandular fever. So she took a blood sample to test. I REALLY hope it's just tonsilitis...glandular fever is a nasty dose i've read.
And i can't afford to miss time this year.

So anyhoooo.... i've been doing a lot drawing lately, and painting, and now that i'm incapacitated i'll have more time. so, that's good. though, between all this free time i STILL haven't got around to colouring my clothes designs. i will...just....dunno when. oeh, and something which i've noticed lately: every time i sit down to paint i have tea with me....and without fail i ALWAYS dip the brush into it!!! always!! AH!! in the space of 10 mins i had to make 2 fresh cups. wah
however...
even worse than that....i've been painting this canvas for weeks beforehand, getting excited about the colour, the line, the feeling.
and i've been really late with it. though, sometimes, fashionably late is cool right?
So i finished it last night. and then i took out the camera to photograph it (cause it's too big for a scanner)
heh.
the camera sucks.
it's made a COMPLETE and UTTER MESS of the colours and lighting and feeling. the real one is much softer and duskier...and not...pot marked. and none, NONE, of the blues and yellows and purples came out... i've never had this before o_O
and there's nothing i can do about it.

i'm so sorry april ={
i promise you can come to my housie and see it for real heeheel!!

so despite poppin' pills and flinching every time i swallow, which feels like swallowing razorblades, not much is happening right now. except for the LC assessments, but they're going good.

all in all. i'm still schmiling

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10388782/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10388782/ Sat, 14 Oct 2006 09:21:28 PDT nuacht nua? níl.

and i'm so dead lately.
feel like a bad stain.

heh. or that reeeeeally annoying person who's just overly righteous and responsible?
self appointed. i feel like that lately.

like a few weeks ago, when i went to the open day in dublin. everyone was planning on drinking in st. stephens green. i wasn't. for some reason. i don't feel compelled to.
especially around people i don't know that well. i will drink, but only around my best friends. those kinds of things i never felt compelled to do...even when i was underage. i don't know why. maybe i feel i have nothing to prove. or i prefer havin my mind clear. i don't know. and then it all makes me feel like a stick in the mud.
even though i said nothing against it at all to them. not a word.

but i've honestly never cared, i'd far rather hang out with fifi for the day than sit around a skanky park drinkin' a nagin between 6 people. i had far more uber fun, sober. *gasp*
rode the luas for the first time, went to a gay café, got free tea and was half hit on by a guy (that was really really weird o_O but good craic) got socks that say "chocolate makes my clothes shrink!" and had so much fun with fifi in the park just talking and rambling about anything in general.

and it was so funny on the train home.

everyone had alcomohol. litres of it. poor aul cathal and his id were made full use of.

dog, everyone was so pathetic and such embarrassment to themselves. i didn't ever think i'd see it that way, but they were. and they were so loud. i feel sorry for the other passengers at the end of the carriage. got worse when my class found the light switch for the carriage aswell. yesh. alcomohol ish fun, huh? especially when the heavy guys start throwin their weight around - at the girls. bruises abound.

and i didn't drink. but i still had to take home some of them when we got to galway. needless to say, all of the aftershave they used didn't work too well....and why am i saying all of this? i have noooo idea.

everyone who knows me, knows i'm extremely cautious. when it comes to everything. and i hate being that way.
and yes, you won't say it, but i know that it can be a pain in the arse.
it is for me. gah..

I hate this.
i hate this feeling of...i don't know. of being a stick in the mud.
of being annoyling responsible. and just so...outside.

my tom the owl, coffee cup is empty.
ima go for more.
maybe i'll make it an irish coffee...

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10246906/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/10246906/ Sun, 01 Oct 2006 11:00:58 PDT seriously.

i have, on average, 6-8 cups a day. and those're days when i'm NOT at home. o_O
and jams drinks even more...and when i'm with him i drink even MORE.

yeah i'm addicted.
i blame my mammy ^.^

teeeeeaaaaaaaa....

FROG ATTACK!!! *frog spray*
so i tried to charge my phone last night...cept i forgot plug the damn plug in!
so onion is tired and red batter today.

i haven't got to paint yet today. got's homework and "study" to do.
i'm gettin' to it. no. really, i AM. i'm so proud of myself!!
for once i'm organised!
a little.

OH! and i have 3 or 4 pictures and paintings i still have to upload... i don't know why i haven't yet. i really...don't. must be my bad connection. or the way i just feck around online and never get anything proper done.

I HAVE A RED CRANE!!

so the retreats are on this week. ahem. what a waste of time. what a fucking sham. i'm going with 50 people from my class so we can play games, and be, well, religious i think. it's kind of ironic in that from day one all of the teachers are telling us to make the best use of our time and not be feckin' around. so why do i have to go on wednesday?? i'd seriously rather be at home, i could study then. i actually would.

heehee pineAPPLE. we have a choco cake in the fridge!!!
oooooooooeh táim an fear an phoist!!!
feach, tá an madra corca sa spéir! heehee nó i mo tae. yum.

sigh....-_-"
i 'm spent. i feel like one of those annoying kids whose hyperactive for the sake of it.
who knows. blah.
*cookies for everyone*

]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9897372/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9897372/ Tue, 29 Aug 2006 14:47:18 PDT A decaying socket in my face.
A rolling unfocused orb.
And I wish I could gouge it out.

What a toothy grin I have.
Retarded and oblivious.
Framed by this lollipop-stick skin bridge.
A jutting broken corner. A nose.

Broken teeth like old gravestones.
Rotten bleeding gums in stitches.
Freckles like pot marks.
A mass of hair like straw and hay.

What a clown's face.
Painted goofy and drooling;
Like a dog with rabies.
Aren't I "pretty". Oh so airbrushed.

I'm fucking ugly.

And they'll come from miles around;
To leer at me in my display cage.
And they'll come from miles around.
To breath that sigh of relief.

I'm fucking ugly.


Mam and Dad jumped down my throat this evening, when I said I was worried about my eye and the direction my face was in when I looked at people. I thought at least they'd understand. I was only looking for reassurance.

And she's still annoyed with me for not saying that there was something wrong. I was 6 years old then. I thought it was natural. How is it my fault?

Maybe I belong in a European Red Light District. ]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9892657/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9892657/ Tue, 29 Aug 2006 05:30:23 PDT
muwharrr...

heehee....HEEHEE

MUWHAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!
RAAWWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!

I ish hippo

heehee....muwharr!!

who wants to be my hippoette???




p.s.
i'm not feeling well today. shitty actually. had no sleep last night. i think i'm ill, or coming down with something.
and i'm back to school tomorrow. which is like, disaster.
*ish lonely* ]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9674097/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9674097/ Thu, 10 Aug 2006 06:18:16 PDT Back away from tangents, on the verge of drastic
ways...can't escape this place...I deny your face
Sweat gets in my eyes, I think I'm slowly dying

Put me in a homemade cellar
Put me in a hole for shelter
Someone hear me please, all I see is hate
I can hardly breathe, and I can hardly take it

Hands on my face overbearing, I can't get out!
Hands on my face overbearing, I can't!

Lost...ran at my own cost...hearing laughter, scoffed
Learning from the rush, detached from such and such
Bleak...all around me, weak...listening, incomplete
I am not a dog, but I'm the one your dogging

I am in a buried kennel
I have never felt so final
Someone find me please, losing all reserve
I am fucking gone, I think I'm fucking dying

Hands on my face overbearing, I can't get out!
Hands on my face overbearing, I can't!

You all stare, but you'll never see
There is something inside me
There is something in you I despise

Cut me - show me - enter - I am
willing and able and never any danger to myself
Knowledge in my pain, knowledge in my pain
Or was my tolerance a phase?
Empathy, out of my way
I can't die
I can't die
I can't die
I can't... die!

You all stare, but you'll never see
There is something inside me
You all stare, but you'll never see
There is something inside me
You all stare, but you'll never see
There is something inside me
You all stare, but you'll never see
There is something inside me
There is something in you I despise

despise...
despise...

Purity!
Purity!
Purity!
Purity!
Purity!
Purity!
Purity!
Purity!!!



this is nauseating. ]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9418282/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9418282/ Tue, 18 Jul 2006 16:30:12 PDT

















my pixie....
i love you! ]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9418274/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/9418274/ Tue, 18 Jul 2006 16:29:23 PDT





i'm back..........................

and ready to have my ass kicked by some very angry peoples....and teddy bears =S ]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/8885135/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/8885135/ Fri, 26 May 2006 15:54:01 PDT i'll write again later.

just, today was not a good day.
these are not good times.
schmile. ]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/8623331/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/8623331/ Sat, 29 Apr 2006 16:55:51 PDT Still, it was crowded today, plenty of passers-by to stare at, and be stared at - like I’m covered in such extravagant pink dots that they need to walk around me with mirrors so I should feel some shame. Paranoia? You bet your empty wallet on it. Still, it put a smile on my face.
I saw Emma at work today. I tried to say hi, but she couldn’t really talk. She was busy at the till, so I left. It was one of those sunny days that coax old people and gardeners out to garden centre shops. I’m not being selective here. Its just an observation, on how only on sunny days do you realise just HOW many people there are in the world. Another thing that I noticed, which is quite funny in an “oh no, I’m being robbed” kind of way. Its ironic that they call it a 99 cone, when it costs €1.45! Ice cream...yum...

Fuck, I wrote so much nonsense last night. Just kept going and going...Even now, I can’t write honestly. It’s third person, its detached and even I don’t believe in its sincerity. Still, its something to write about I suppose. I haven’t touched a pencil at all in the past week either...though I really want to, and will...just, I dunno...I’m very confused today L

When you want IT sooo much, its never easy. I need it, more than oxygen, sleep, blood, food, a second glance with a flirty smile. Everything becomes erratic, and on tangents...and grey; without IT. Every fibre in your body is screaming out for it, but yet, at the same time, its telling you in that panicked voice that IT doesn’t want you. Will IT ever? I hope so.

So Much...I wished he wouldn’t sing like that - it kills...The emotion, the sincerity, I never noticed it all before, but it cuts your heart in two... The Day The Whole World Went Away is the same...maybe I’m too receptacle today.

What I’m trying to say is, I’m becoming detached. The fact that I’m saying all this without any consideration for my dignity and integrity, is proof enough to scare the crap outta me; that I really am degenerating. Maybe it’s a creative rerouting, but, on inside its saying, “yeah, that’s fine. Its shallow, but then again, its coming from YOUR head. Its close enough - no one will know the difference anyway. ”

I wish they did.

I wish I did.

------
So i stood to one side to let him pass. Slow, and sloppy, like
bland treacle pouring out of the space in the room. I didn't mind
at all. I prided myself on good manners and respect - who wouldn't?
The seagull apparently. But we had said all we needed to on THAT
subject, so the feeling is on tenterhooks now. Despite his never
ending mundane --if humorous-- attempts to show me up in front
of Penny and Teacup, he always comes up the worst. Smiles and fake high pitched greetings are all that meet him nowadays, though. We all know what he's like, under that plumage of festering feathers; sea mites, and salt and the sludge from the local sewage system that some irresponsible, incompetent politician, with his revolutionary "fresh" ideas for a Utopian society, didn‘t bother to have cleared away. Health drinks with "0" calories, a whore that fucks well with a smile or an apartment where you're not cramped so close to your neighbour that you don't have to bear his drooling leer, crooked teeth and jam-jar glasses as he peeps through that hole into your side of the fence. A 9-inch knife, lipstick and a fine show of gritted teeth and cantered hips would solve that problem.

Nonetheless, he passed by in a matter of minutes, which was, in my view,
a stroke of luck. Since the revolutionary new day of 4 hours, one couldn't really find the time to reflect much on life, let alone how badly your pants were chafing you. At a second glance though, you had to admit, that it was EXACTLY what the new Coconut government had been gearing towards. That new Utopia. 2 million mind batteries all striving to better the system so that "someone else" would be better off in the end. Thank God. And what better way to implement a concentrated mind collaboration than to exterminate the need to be "conscious". Without distractions, and with so little time you only know what your pupils dilate and focus to. Sending the light sensitive retinal signals along your optic nerve and telling your sad grey slop of a brain linked to its deep rooted blur of blood vessels, only one thing: "it'll be your turn someday". So of course you can understand my joy, blithely aware of this sludge trudging past me, and I thought to myself "would you like some toast? you WOULD like some toast?? I'm confused though - until IT tells us w... ]]> ~CroiBriste http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/8441430/ http://CroiBriste.deviantart.com/journal/8441430/ Tue, 11 Apr 2006 18:23:41 PDT cause i feel like an attention seeking prick today...overly familiar, and very pushy. but thats what you get when you let yourself go i suppose. just me. but with lack of restraint and regard for others.
Trouble is everyone else remembers.
been online so much, overly "enthusiastic"
I KNOW i'm putting people off.
i'd probably put myself off, but we won't embarrass "I"

heeehee pink killer is funny.

still I look forward to the next few days. except for that fucking Frost overview!
heehee awwww i met Tomoko's husband today!!

neko niku iru deshou?? lol, for bad grammar, and sardines (there i go again)

i must finish my website and put up my new VF account soon...check out photobucket.com too. spare change?
nyeh, nobody is on at the moment...its like slouching in an empty room; slow. with the echoes and laughter of people who were there earlier. but we missed. as usual. clock ticking away to itself on the wall, humming its mantra, for those who'll listen to it. whether there or not. linking the world, the shadows of people drifting home - all under his hum, his power of being here, there, alone, in a social ring... everything now mixed with the smell of leather and cold coffee, laughter that's gone, clinking drink-glasses...with your heart thumping softly in your ears...

you're still here. alone. you missed it all. and now you'll take the same concept home. through the lonely chilly streets, airy; with the smell of fresh rain, puddles reflecting nomadic street light sulphur and the hum of the world away over the houses. always so exciting, but ALWAYS out of reach...back, to your bare cold walls and your silent fridge; with its bright white light that bears all the monotony of the stale reminder, of so many years in a nutshell. the terrible feeling of definite. still pulsing in your ears, ringing. straining but you still can't hear them 'cause they're so so far away. oblivious to you. your very existence, your presence, the fact that you'll do this again and again and again and again.
will it ever change? cross the threshold from the dark beyond the open doorway, to the comfort, laughter, dancing pupils...the warm yellow light. smiles.

a silver moon that knows the tale all too well...you're not the first...but sadly -
it's out of your hands... ]]> ~CroiBriste