http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Crono-Silversand&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Crono-Silversand en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 03:26:14 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/23427133/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/23427133/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 03:50:08 PST
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/20612765/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/20612765/ Mon, 22 Sep 2008 02:58:02 PDT
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/19944530/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/19944530/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 00:07:47 PDT
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]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/19369524/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/19369524/ Sun, 13 Jul 2008 10:04:23 PDT
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]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/18489534/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/18489534/ Sun, 25 May 2008 05:33:04 PDT
Thank you all, again, for keeping me alive that day. Cheers.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/18315840/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/18315840/ Wed, 14 May 2008 05:38:35 PDT
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]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/17079784/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/17079784/ Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:34:09 PST
Other than that things are going fine. Probably going to get a new kitty on my vacation, seeing as how I don't have anywhere to go for my vacation. Two weeks paid vacation, and my passport, and I'll be spending it alone with a kitten. Underage pussy....*snickers* Not my ideal vacation.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/16971053/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/16971053/ Wed, 20 Feb 2008 00:34:56 PST [link])+II+by+Samsung&q_sku=sku1140027 That's the link to it. *laughs* Ok, I'm on lunch from work so I'd better get ready to go back. It's good to be back again. *bows and fades away*

PS Got my hair chopped off in a horrible styling accident. *winks* Pictures to follow.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/16842685/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/16842685/ Tue, 12 Feb 2008 03:26:48 PST
Oh, by the way, sorry about not being around. I've been busy with two jobs and such. *grins* Anyway I've missed most of you. *laughs* Life is doing fine right now, there are some complications but I know they will work themselves out for the best.

My star; if you're reading this right now...I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. A friend to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a back to ease your burden. I'm here.

Goodnight all, let the silence of snow surround you.

Justin

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13408763/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13408763/ Tue, 19 Jun 2007 15:19:31 PDT
Stressed to max here...he pisses me off when he does shit like this. He's so worried about my three younger brothers. Fuck, they're grown up now, have kids of their own. And all I can do is nothing.

I've had three Rip It's and 4 Zantrex-3, I can taste colours and feel my eyeballs vibrating right now. None of my brothers seem to care anything about what's going down. Can't sleep because he may kick the bucket. I just don't know.

Oh well...I'll do all I can for him while he's still here. Sorry to be a downer guys, I'm still doing great myself. I leave for Chicago day after tomorrow....I think. I'm leaving way early so I know I get to the airport on time. Hope they don't miss me too much at work tonight. *laughs*

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13401832/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13401832/ Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:54:17 PDT
IN OTHER NEWS: Hm. Just started reading a new series. The Vampire Huntress by L. A. Banks. I'm kind of iffy on it at this time, I like the depiction of some of the supernatural things but the writing itself is grating my nerves. I'm open to suggestions on what to read though so just drop me a line and a title. What else....Vacation starts in TWO DAYS. Going to be interesting to say the least, but I fully intend to enjoy myself. *grins*

One last word; hope. Remember it, seriously. I've been going through my old journals, here and in my home, and I see how much I've changed. How much I've survived. Hell, half my books still smell like fire. It's amazing I've come through so intact. I also want to thank everyone for there comments during those times. I may not have let it show much, but it meant a lot to me that you cared. Even when I seemed not to. It's hard to be apathetic when you want to help.

Ok, now I need to get my tamers whip and a club and get back to the comments...*grins* Back into the belly of the beast!

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13379148/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13379148/ Sun, 17 Jun 2007 09:35:19 PDT
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13353050/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13353050/ Fri, 15 Jun 2007 08:05:10 PDT
Sonja arrives soon, have to get things together for the hotel room first. Probably just a change of clothes, maybe some toys (Uno cards, Tarot cards...)

New keyboard, mouse, and printer. What can I say, all my debt is gone and I get paid. *sparkles*

Dad is getting worse...he's refusing surgery and so far both doctors have said he'll be in a wheelchair in two to three years if he doesn't have it....though there is only a 20% survival rate TO the surgery so I understand why he won't. He's getting sicker and there is nothing I can do. There is nothing so frustrating as watching a loved one wither away. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

....that last bit kind of kills the mood doesn't it? *smirks* On a brighter note he just received a....thank you note? from the Government for his time in the service. The funny part is they are denying he was ever IN the service....X-Files stuff right there. Father was a Navy SEAL in Vietnam. He's the one who taught me to fight...and where I get most of my temper. But I handle mine a hell of a lot better.

Hm. Not much else to say. Looking around to see what I can do to save up for a NYE party in Oz. Thinking about getting a credit card *SHOCK* just to pay for a plan ticket down there. It's actually based on the same plans I had to MOVE down there...*laughs* Ah well. Anyway, I'm off to the library and hopefully I won't melt under this bright firey thing in the sky.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13325492/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13325492/ Wed, 13 Jun 2007 05:37:01 PDT





EDIT: ......Ever dance with the Devil in the pale moon light? *dies laughing*

EDIT2: Oh yeah, out of the cash office and back on the floor!! God I feel so much better.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13289230/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13289230/ Sun, 10 Jun 2007 10:55:29 PDT
In other news: The revolution has been put down! Yes, my two cats attempted to take over my bed, but I have repelled their attacks with my cunning plans...I kicked them off....*snickers* Hm, work is getting better, my last paycheck was for about $730. *grins* I love not being in debt. Also I'll be out of the 'coffin' soon. The person I've been covering for is better now and coming back, I'll only have to be in the cash office two days a week now. It may sound fun at first, being surrounded by cash...but it's not, least not for me. I miss being out there helping people. OH! On that note, I'm also getting back in school. Looking around for scholarships and grants now, shouldn't be too hard considering. *sparkles* I'm THINKING my major will be primary teaching, possibly with a minor in child psyc. What else is there? Oh, lots of love to all my friends. You guys are amazing, really you are. Hmm....mind is restless right now, flitting from one thing to the next. I finally found the truth, the answer I've so long sought. I'd try and tell you what it is...but I can't because to understand what I'd tell you you'd have to know in the first place and that really just negates me trying to explain it, doesn't it? Ask Trisha.

SO! Yeah, that's where I'm at now. Sonja is coming to stay for two weeks of fun. Bills are all caught up, the only worry I have is if all this excitement makes me explode. Bits of Justin EVERYWHERE! *laughs*



There is one last thing....I need to ask one of you for forgiveness...I've done wrong by you and I really wish to talk to you again but I don't know how to go about doing that. I never meant to...you know. If you do read this, contact me, ya? I hope to hear from you, because I truly do miss you.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13275136/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13275136/ Sat, 09 Jun 2007 08:06:27 PDT
Introduction to Agreeableness
This section of your profile describes your interactions with other people. The ways we communicate our feelings, beliefs and ideas to others are influenced by our cultural backgrounds, the way we were raised, and sometimes which side of the bed we got up on this morning. Some of us are very mindful of others making decisions we hope will be in their best interests, even if it means sometimes neglecting our own interests. Others of us believe each person should be responsible for themselves, taking deep pride in our own character and independence with a firm belief that others are best served by doing the same. The following describes how you engage with others; illustrating the dimension of your personality that determines your independence or your desire to reach out and touch others in meaningful ways.

You are best described as: CONSISTENTLY TAKING CARE OF OTHERS

Words that describe you:

Sympathetic
Trusting
Altruistic Selfless
Tenderhearted
Compassionate Straightforward
Deferential
Generous

A General Description of How You Interact with Others
"What can I do for you?" These words probably feel very natural to you. More than most people, you are genuinely interested in the well-being of others. If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful. If they need someone who will listen, you are attentive, trustworthy and sympathetic. And you are direct with them; when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in as straightforward and direct a manner as you can.

There may even be times when you put others' needs in front of your own. And you do so without the expectation of some reward or recognition. Yours is a different kind of compassion; you are genuinely tenderhearted and take pleasure in helping others while expecting little or nothing in return. For you, it's not tit-for-tat, you truly want to do things for others that will better their lives. You mean it when you ask, "What can I do for you?"

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
Though your motives arise from genuine compassion, some people might think of you as "a little too good to be true." They could suspect that your kindness is something you use to ingratiate yourself with others or to get them to like you. Others may suspect that your altruism is a mask for your own problems; you take care of others but never let others get to know you well enough to offer you their care. Some of this suspicion may be genuine; they just can't believe you're this kind. But it may also be triggered by envy; people see in you a tenderheartedness they don't find in themselves, and it makes them uncomfortable so they take it out on you with their suspicions.

Another critical response others may have may be something you want to take a serious look at. If you spend your time taking care of others, you may not have enough left to take very good care of yourself. If you're always asking, "What can I do for you?", you may not focus enough on your own needs. You're so busy taking care of others that you neglect yourself and empty your reserves of energy and good health. Like we said, give it consideration and if it doesn't fit move on.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
For the most part, people will feel gifted to come across someone like you. For those you help, you will be light in the darkness, a hand up when they've fallen into a ditch. Your true graciousness and selflessness is rather rare these days and is often a breath of fresh air in this all too often dog-eat-dog world. Others will see in you the kindness that each of us seeks in life, both in our own characters and in our relationships with others. And you will become a model of that honest compassion; someone others may even look up to. Hopefully that feels okay to you.

Introduction to Openness
How firmly committed are you to the ideas and beliefs that govern your thinking and guide your behavior? Some people trust their current ideas and beliefs the way a climber trusts the mountain; whichever way they move, whether the climb is on a familiar trail or over new ground, there is something solid beneath them, something they count on.

For others, new ideas, new solutions to old problems, new beliefs that replace tired convictions are like welcome wind in their sails. They can hardly wait to tack in a new direction and ride a new idea through uncharted waters. If it's new, it's interesting, and they're ready to explore.

The following paragraphs describe your responses to new ways of thinking and believing. How do you handle new information? Are you more like the... ]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13120196/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13120196/ Mon, 28 May 2007 02:10:15 PDT
I left home about noon or so and drove to the Roofless Church in New Harmony Indiana. If you live in or around there....you know what I mean when I say that small town is beautiful. And the Church? It is the only place I've felt at peace in a long time. I go up there at least once a month to talk with God. Now a lot of you don't think I'm all that religious of a person. You're wrong. I'm very religious. It's just that my views are far broader than most. On my way up there I was thinking and praying. Listening to a mix cd. 66 songs, four hours of music. *grins* Just when I thought I was going to give up Keep holding on starts to play. Made me smile. Then some other things happened....

There are things about me that I don't like to talk about. Some because I don't want to, some because I was asked never to talk about them. I never break a promise. Anyway there is a small town called Solitude on the way to New Harmony. I once knew a man from Solitude. He meant a lot to me, and he showed me a lot of things. When he died I promised him I wouldn't speak of how or why....I also promised him I'd control my anger, curb my temper. When I was in my late teens I was...bad. *shrugs* So I made the promises....but you can never try to completely contain any part of you. It just makes things worse. I became far too easy going, and let too many people walk all over me.

I stopped by the cemetary where he is entombed. And I begged his forgiveness and that he let go of that last promise I made. Got back in my car...and continued up to New Harmony. I started crying and then....two raindrop hit my windshield. Clear blue sky. And just those two. Nifty eh? Now I know some of you will be reading this and thinking bullshit. That's ok, believe what you want. I know where my faith lies. And I know that I have been forgiven...and that now....now I have no bindings to hold me down. Let's just hope 9 years is long enough to learn some control. *winks*

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13023929/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/13023929/ Sun, 20 May 2007 09:54:36 PDT
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/12794455/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/12794455/ Mon, 30 Apr 2007 18:28:33 PDT
You've had your friends...
I've been left alone.
You've had your birthday parties...
I was ignored.
You've had your graduation parties...
I grew up too fast.
You've had your love and lost it...
I watched my heart turn to stone.
You ask me why I am the way I am...
I am who I am to survive.
You wonder why I'm so sad all the time...
I wondered when I'd have a reason to smile.
You...
Me.
Live the life I've lived, see the things I've seen, do the things I've done. Then think about how different our lives have been. I know. And I don't need to prove I do. Your belief or disbelief does not alter who I am. I will be me no matter what you think, there are sparse few who care enough for them to mean anything to me.
So before you jump to conclusions about me, before you think you know what I am about, stop. You don't know. You never will. I'm not going to share anything about my past anymore, the door is closed. You had your chance. My truths are more fantastic than your lies, and harder to believe for that fact. I am truly sorry you can not come to terms with that, honestly. Because everything in my life has led up to this point. The good. The bad. The painful. And I am. Who I am.

Do YOU know who I am?

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/12739152/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/12739152/ Thu, 26 Apr 2007 06:23:01 PDT Be honest no matter what.

1. What Is your natural hair color?
Red

2. Where was your default picture taken?
My last apartment

3. What's your middle name?
T. Charles

4. What's your current status?
...? Alive?

5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
Yup, she loves me.

6. What is your current mood?
Relatively ok.

7. What color underwear are you wearing?
...*snickers* I don't generally wear underwear.

8. What makes you happy?
Being loved.

10. If you could go back in time, and change something what you would change?
I've thought about this a lot and the only thing I'd change would be paying off my credit card bills and not screwing up my credit.

11.If you Must be one animal - what would you be?
A feline

12. Ever had a near death experience?
Yes.

13. Something you do a lot?
Read.

14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
Sweet Sacrifice by Evanescence

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Dark Furre

16. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
...someone I know? No one.

17. When was the last time you cried?
Thinking I'd lost someone...

18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Yes

19. If you could have a super power what would it be?
Complete and total control over reality

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Their face

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
.....burn Starbucks, BURN!!

22. What's your biggest secret?
...umm...don't know.

23. Favorite color?
Black AND silver

24. When was the last time you lied?
Yeah, I'm a horrible liar, and I don't like lying, so I don't.

25. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows?
Yup

27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Not a damn thing, and I'm hungry.

29. What's your favorite smell?
The woman I love.

30. If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
Lived.

31. When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
...oh...damn...umm. Two years or so I believe.

32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
No, but I'd like to.

33. What are you thinking about right now?
Sonja, the alarm going off in the other room, and how to get rid of this headache.

34. What should you be doing?
Sleeping.

35. What was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
Lazy people.

36. How often do you pray?
Every day

37. Do you like working in the yard?
I would if I had a real yard to work in.

38. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
I like the one I have.

39. Do you act differently around your crush?
Yes.

40. Name one song that reminds you of an ex?
Happy by Stabbing Westward. Yeah bitch, happy? My life is great, how about yours!

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/12333193/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/12333193/ Mon, 26 Mar 2007 07:53:41 PDT
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]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11969446/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11969446/ Mon, 26 Feb 2007 03:04:09 PST


I don't want to be alone...not again.

[link]

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11939351/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11939351/ Fri, 23 Feb 2007 19:29:47 PST
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11790919/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11790919/ Mon, 12 Feb 2007 19:35:44 PST
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]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11679898/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11679898/ Sun, 04 Feb 2007 05:43:48 PST
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11544879/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11544879/ Tue, 23 Jan 2007 17:50:21 PST
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11285667/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11285667/ Tue, 02 Jan 2007 08:53:25 PST
Justin.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11194942/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/11194942/ Mon, 25 Dec 2006 22:32:30 PST
Christmas wasn't very good. I don't think NYE will be any better. Thanks to you who were here for me when I needed someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10898212/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10898212/ Thu, 30 Nov 2006 05:56:38 PST
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10888958/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10888958/ Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:09:19 PST
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10875260/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10875260/ Tue, 28 Nov 2006 03:37:34 PST
Memories. Of love, of tears, of joy. Memories can sometimes sustain us. Prolonged use of memories can lead to delusional behavior, being trapped in the past. When left alone for too long...no one should be left alone. No one.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10864663/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10864663/ Mon, 27 Nov 2006 06:01:49 PST
Tears of bloodfire burn
Eternity knows no bounds
A rose blooms with light

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10841949/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10841949/ Sat, 25 Nov 2006 05:39:11 PST
Happiness is found
The full moon glows in the sky
Freedom is in flight

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10444316/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10444316/ Thu, 19 Oct 2006 11:22:17 PDT
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10324234/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10324234/ Sun, 08 Oct 2006 10:50:49 PDT
On a completely different note...I miss Sonja.

]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10270662/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10270662/ Tue, 03 Oct 2006 12:06:36 PDT
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10176779/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10176779/ Sun, 24 Sep 2006 20:42:53 PDT
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10169159/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10169159/ Sun, 24 Sep 2006 05:59:50 PDT
]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10129135/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10129135/ Wed, 20 Sep 2006 05:09:03 PDT
Let my sins wash away in the blood of those most foul...

*sighs* See what determination, honesty, hard work gets you? Nothing. ]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10107126/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10107126/ Mon, 18 Sep 2006 00:25:59 PDT
My bills for next week are $435. Suicide looks better and better.... ]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10001344/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/10001344/ Thu, 07 Sep 2006 17:23:01 PDT -vs-
Justin Joseph
Defendent

Wal-Mart
PO Box 82
Bentonville Ar 72712
Attn: Garnishments
Garnishee Defendant.

The Court finds that the allegation contained in plantiff's motion are true, that there is due upon the judgement herein from defendant the sum of $2417.38 plus one-half (1/2) of any amount which the garnishee-defendant elects to collect as a fee for making deductions pursuant to IC 24-4.5-5-105 plus interest at 8.00% per annum from February 14 2004 of the ammount to be deducted; that defendant, for wages, incomes or profits; that plaintiff is entitled to a continuing garnishment order. Interest must be reduced to 8% on any judgement due as of January 1, 1994.

IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED that the garnishee-defendant deduct from the disposable earnings of defendant (1) Twenty-five percent (25%) of such disposable earnings for that week OR (2) the amount by which defendant's disposable earnings exceed $154.50 per week, WHICHEVER IS LESS.


So...yeah. Fun times in the city tonight. *sighs* I make 1200 a month. That's 300 a week. 25% is 75. Bills add up to 855. Now it comes up to 1255. Loverly.

Justin. ]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9909293/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9909293/ Wed, 30 Aug 2006 15:20:31 PDT You don't know what it's like to be in me, you don't know what I've survived and you never would believe.

Nothing good ever happens on my birthday. For as long as I remember only bad things have happened on August 29. Most times I just try to sleep the whole day away and hope nothing happens. This year, it followed me. I get online after going to buy food to eat...and my account is overdrawn. By what you might ask? By a magazine subscription I never ordered. Lovely time. I don't get paid until next Thursday so I'll end up spending my whole check paying my back for being bitches. If I weren't who I am, if I hadn't been through all I have, I would be a broken man right now. All the things piling upon me would have crushed me long ago. Seems I'm a glutton for punishment. I like to think of it as me biting my thumb at the world. "Fuck you, you can't break me. You can't bring me to my knees when I'm already there."

Justin FTW ]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9637728/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9637728/ Tue, 08 Aug 2006 02:04:39 PDT ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9559814/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9559814/ Mon, 31 Jul 2006 22:08:43 PDT ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9361622/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9361622/ Thu, 13 Jul 2006 06:06:04 PDT ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9328821/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9328821/ Mon, 10 Jul 2006 05:23:11 PDT ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9327744/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9327744/ Mon, 10 Jul 2006 01:43:11 PDT
On a brighter note my vacation is at the end of August and I have to decide what and where I am going. Well...I guess I should get back to work.

Oh, and this eclipse thing in Achaea? It may give me a way back into the realms. Read Crono's history and backgrounds. Right now the last person to see him before his departure was Aithne and Crono told her he had some things to do. Dairune knows just about all there is to know....suffice it to say Crono is being tortured to death in an alternate realm. Fun fun. And for all you people who think Crono is an escaped mental patient......READ HIS HISTORY! Ask him questions, he'll answer. One more thing, the newest Deviation is of Crono's torture. ]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9310773/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/9310773/ Sat, 08 Jul 2006 10:33:12 PDT ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8958615/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8958615/ Sat, 03 Jun 2006 11:02:47 PDT
Sometimes I wake up and look around at my surroundings. I feel like I've done this all before, as if life were a book I read years ago and sometimes I can remember the course of the story. It frightens me to no end. Have I lived this before? It's getting stronger. It's not as if it grows everyday, but it is steadily gaining power. Am I just losing my mind? Pity...I thought I would last so much longer. Few things hold my interest anymore...I'm just so tired of waking up and...waking up. Heh. No, I'm not suicidal, no reason to end the game just yet. Why not see how it plays out. I'll be dead soon enough right? *smirks* I want to be happy, I really do. But life seldom gives me those chances. I grab and hold on tight to them when they come, and cherish them in my memory. Phone calls from friends. Emails. A stranger's smile. A child's laughter. Going to sleep on a full stomach on a cool bed. I struggle, and I survive. If this is some test, or training ground, I'm not sure I want to see what I'm being groomed for. I've been told I'm evil. I am who I am....I am dangerous and I am kind. I have my honor and my faith. I believe in myself and what I can do, I know my limits and how far I can push them. Do you really think I'm evil? Honestly?

On a brighter note, I learned how to make clam chowder....oddly enough I don't like clam chowder, go figure. I love to cook, always trying new things.

Yes, I know I'm completely random, and I tend to jump suddenly from subject to subject. And if you've known me for any length of time it tends to become comforting because I see problems from every possible angle. Also means I worry constantly and evaluate every single moment...daggers and razors...always cutting. No, I don't cut myself. Not anymore, promises. I've never broken a promise. If my word is worth nothing, neither am I. I suppose I should sleep now, I'm rather ranting aren't I? But...this is after all a journal, no? A repository for all my thoughts and pains, my hidden jealousies and petty grievances. Ah well....My name is Justin, welcome to my world. ]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8688243/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8688243/ Sat, 06 May 2006 05:29:37 PDT
Ever get deja vu?
Ever get deja vu? That happens to me daily, hourly...like I've done this all before and it makes me wonder what mistakes I made before that were so horrible that I am forced to repeat them....or what joys in this life did I miss so much that I had to relive them?

In other knews, had an interview for management. I'll let you all know how that goes. Otherwise life is life, keeps kicking me when I'm down but for some reason I keep getting back up. Lonely, oh so lonely Granted, that is my fault and to some extent my decision to be alone. One thing is...I don't like going out alone. Hard to meet people if you don't go anywhere. Also, I don't like going to other people's houses that much...I feel so out of place anywhere but my own home. I'm just odd I suppose. *frowns* I'm a lot more outgoing than I used to be though, honestly. And the depression is nearly gone, albeit I still have an occasional bout when I just want someone to hold onto and cry...Anyway, I survive, it's what I do. Going to check out some more schools for teaching and we'll see what we see.

Oh a brighter note, my cat loves me, which is cute, but she has to stop hanging up the phone when people call.... ]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8577271/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8577271/ Tue, 25 Apr 2006 02:14:36 PDT

[link] ]]> ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8508405/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8508405/ Tue, 18 Apr 2006 08:27:18 PDT ~Crono-Silversand http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8498056/ http://Crono-Silversand.deviantart.com/journal/8498056/ Mon, 17 Apr 2006 09:33:58 PDT ~Crono-Silversand