http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:CrystaPupoffire&section=today deviantART RSS for by:CrystaPupoffire en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 07:56:20 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://CrystaPupoffire.deviantart.com/journal/21218725/ http://CrystaPupoffire.deviantart.com/journal/21218725/ Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:55:26 PDT
in other news I'm currently sick. Been sick since Sunday and have been hacking up things from my throat and its not helpful. I have relieved a bit of stress of my week by asking a teacher to let me take my exam later, I originally had two for tomorrow. Now I can get a breather and study one at a time rather then having double the cram sessions.

Life shall continue on... just in a slower pace.

I did write a poem for my friend, we called him Pirate... He was a rather interesting guy to be around. I'm not sure how to post poems here so I'm just adding it to this journal.

You left us so suddenly
without a word of goodbye
You left us so quietly
as if you wanted to hide
Our love for you was so great
if only it had been greater
You left us
and all we can do is cry

We hope you no longer hold pain
that you are finally free
We hope you can hear us
as you journey on
I'm sorry my friend
that life lead to this end
We hope
you know that we still care

]]> ~CrystaPupoffire http://CrystaPupoffire.deviantart.com/journal/17824781/ http://CrystaPupoffire.deviantart.com/journal/17824781/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 02:43:54 PDT I just found out that some point in his sleep, my uncle had died.
And I'm more upset that I'm not upset about his passing. I think the only emotion I have in reaction is... dumbfounded.

Some may have read this in a rant I made a while ago but Let me tell you a story. In may of 2006 my cousin had committed suicide. When I heard this I felt as if the world Just zoomed in on me. I wasn't really close to him, heck I tend to forget his name and he's only a cousin by marriage on my dad's side of the family. I was watching spider monkeys for a class at the time and one of them looked at me, in a way of maybe acknowledgment that I was suddenly unhappy. Also at this time I had a boyfriend. I told him, he comfort me like any couple would do.

Then time moves on and I've gotten news that my Grandma (my dad's biological mom) had cancer and was getting treatment and of course there where ups and downs... technically she had beaten the cancer but the medicines where too strong. I was told she wasn't doing well and throughout the day kept sending mental messages to her to stay strong and pull through. That night as I lay in bed I kept imagining her ghost appearing to me and apologizing that she couldn't stay strong and she was saying her goodbyes. Personally I thought it was just my overly imagining brain trying to screw with me in a sense to put me down. It does that from time to time and I have learned to tell it to shut up... the Next day I get the call, during the night right before my dad was able to see her, my grandma passes on. I'm unsure if the times where exactly at the same moment, given that there is a 3 hour difference between where she was and where I was but I'm almost positively sure of it being at the time of her death. I was with some friends and my at the time boyfriend when I heard the news and was able to not break down and they comforted me... My boyfriend took me to his dorm room, comforted me and let me have an ale even though I was still slightly underage. Time again goes on...

Next bad even happened was the big break up. On new years, evening, of 2007... Heart breaking and all that jazz but eventually I moved on and we are still friends which is all good. In a sense I feel that this somewhat belongs and began having this as the 'time of sadness/heartache' that I began calling it around that point.

Then 2007 summer comes along and I keep hearing of how my grandpa (my dad's father) wasn't doing so well. Having heart problems and the sort. His condition also took on the lovely roller coaster of better and worse. I then proceed to move into an Apartment with 2 friends. I begin work and continue to get updates from the family. One day on my way home from a good day of work, I randomly got this urge to cry.... being in public I force it back but thinking of it as weird. I go home begin to relax, one of my roommates begins to talk to me, everything is fine and dandy. Then the call comes... my grandpa had just passed away. I was struck... I told my roommates and they comfort me and I asked that the one that was originally talking to me to hang out with me... I needed someone around so that I didn't cry...

Not a couple weeks later does my friend, one of my housemate's girlfriends come rushing in, distraught, having just learned that her mother had died that night from an asthma attack.... I love this girl as a friend she has to be one of the strongest spirits I have known and to see her like that, hit a cord... My body has this thing of being somewhat of an emotional sponge where if there is a heavy emotion around I will absorb it and be affected by it. I think it turns on and off on its own or something like that but its something I am aware of of myself. I took in her grief and wound up when no one was looking throwing a pillow in an attempt to lower this feeling... She is getting better and continuing with her life hand in hand with my house mate. (I'm still entertained that my house mate is one of my best friends boyfriends.)

Now as you know its 2008... so close to a year has gone by without a death. Some worries about my Grandmother (basicly my dad's 'stepmom' though I doubt anyone ever thinks of her that way) since she has had her share of health problems and with my Mammy Lally (my mom's mom... we've always called her that as kids and still do...) who is diabetic and has back problems and keeps having stupid doctors, but they are still alive and doing well (if your wondering about my mom's dad, he has never been counted, since 1) he was a horrible man, 2)never met the guy and never thought of him as a grandfather and glad about it.. I think he gone too, not too sure). I have been having fun, making new friends, struggling with work, money, finding a new job while hatting my current (ONE shift a week doesn't pay squat), and just plain out living life and figuring that this 'time of sadness' has pasted..... ]]> ~CrystaPupoffire