deviantART: by:DarkIndigoChild

deviantART: by:DarkIndigoChild http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:DarkIndigoChild&section=today deviantART RSS for by:DarkIndigoChild en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 05:29:39 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Simplicity http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/28756771/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/28756771/ Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:07:10 PST Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

Winter seems to be taking it's sweet-assed time getting here- not that I'm complaining!! We had a sucky Spring and a very slow, wet start to summer but pretty decent fall. It seems everything weather-wise was pushed back a month or two (odd), so it still feels like its October here. Seriously- it was in the mid 60s yesterday and almost 60 today! Not very Yuleish in my opinion, but it has allowed me to enjoy the short repreive I've been given. Some of my symptoms have lulled abit for some time, like they usually do. I'm not gonna hold my breathe because I know they'll be back with a vengence soon. So I'll take the breaks when I can. For now I'm holding on through sheer willpower and my small support system.

I should probably take a trip to the store and replace the USB cable Em misplaced to hook up my cam to the comp, as I do have stuff to load up here ^^" I know its been quite awhile, but its honestly not my fault. Will try to remedy that sit asap. I've been doing some sketching on the good days as well, but that I think will stay off dA. It might go on my other accounts- such as facebook or myspace instead. I've been filling my time with books, movies, art, music, family and friends. Not to mention enough anime to make japan-junky quite happy. Lol

But for now I'm content with the knowledge I'm still alive and I still have enough time to maybe figure out whats going on and treat or maybe even reverse it.

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Menyon!

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Holding On http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/28186150/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/28186150/ Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:40:42 PST Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

The past week has been rather rough, for myself and those close to me. The thought of causing anyone of these people pain hurts, and I wish I didn't but for some reason these people care just enough. They are like my lifeline in this sea of discomfort. The feelings of dread won't go away no matter how I try to occupy myself and not think too hard.

The MRI is sceduled for Nov 8, and I hope we can find answers soon with this. I made a promise, to fight this and survive, no matter what it took. I intend to keep it and see it though, reguardless of the cost. I have to pass the Trial by Fire because my destiny is calling. I can hear the Summons loud and clear but this one abstacle is holding me back.

I've never cried this much in my memory, which is slowly slipping from my grip like everything else. Even with all the heartbreaks and the deaths of those close- neither has terrified me to the point of not sleeping, not eating, curling up on the couch cocooned in a blanket and just crying like there's no tomorrow. Thankfully no one is around when I break down like this. But I think I need to start a tissue fund...

Em's been with me through the whole ordeal, I think its actually made our sister bond alittle stronger. She was with me at Miriam Hospital and came to visit me at SSTar and sent things for me to do and read. She's been with me in ambulance rides and held my head during the tests. All while juggling school and friends. Don't think I could ask for more. The little spawn is starting to grow up, lol. I'd love to survive long enough to see her graduate in three years. ^^ I'd love to take her to Nawlins with me too. I think she'd like it

But for now I'm just trying to remain calm and coast til Sunday and the MRI. The pain is getting worse but I have my peeps here with me, so I'm not alone. I know that. I have more than one reason to go on, to fight. As scared as I am, I'll be forever grateful.

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Menyon!

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Dancing in Slow Circles http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/28044596/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/28044596/ Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:40:59 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

"Do you always trust your first initial feeling
Special knowledge holds truth bears believing
I turned around
And the water was closing all around
Like a glove
Like the love that had finally, finally found me
Then I knew
In the crystalline knowledge of you
Drove me thru the mountains
Thru the crystal-like clear water fountain
Drove me like a magnet
To the sea

How the faces of love have changed turning
the pages
And I have changed oh, but you...you remain
ageless
I turned around
And the water was closing all around
Like a glove
Like the love that had finally, finally found me
Then I knew
In the crystalline knowledge of you
Drove me thru the mountains
Thru the crystal-like clear water fountain
Drove me like a magnet
To the sea..."

Crystal, Steveie Nicks, Practical magic

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Menyon!

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Can You? http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/27750531/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/27750531/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:17:18 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

Hear me
Hear me

You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting
'Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hopin' my dreams
Bring you close to me
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me

Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me

I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
No one to talk to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

I'm restless and wild
I fall, but I try
I need someone to understand
Can you hear me?
I'm lost in my thoughts
And baby I've fought
For all that I've got
Can you hear me?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Can you hear me?

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Menyon!

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Interesting http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/27356151/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/27356151/ Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:46:04 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

The tests are the Friday coming, so soon we'll have an answer. I hope. Or someone is losing a testicle. ^_^

I won't let this take me down with a fight!

Anywho, I seem to feel more like myself alittle more each day, the Dragon is coming back full force and interested in eating barely legal teeniebitches for lunch. Might have to roast til extra cripsy, all the flub should crunch very nicely ^^

On another note, TO RUSSIA it is! To train hard and play with teh ponehs, especially the lovely Monsieur Gideon. *bows*

Mr. Nevs is the ultimate lifesavior, yes, savior. *squeez*

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Menyon!

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Ye-No.. Shit! http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/26920308/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/26920308/ Sun, 30 Aug 2009 16:47:32 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

Long story, short version: really bad multitasking. It was a long day that involved getting up a half hour behind scedule and forgetting to eat breakfast, rushing out the door, helping peeps move (that was a fiasco and all too amusing), doc appt, trying to kill the printer, bon fire and Coke and rum. Yes, eventful lately.

I'm actaully glad summer is finally coming to a close. As it means my favorite time of year is fast approaching ^_^ Like, yay! In three weeks it will be officially Fall and then October will come chasing after. Talked to Steve and Deanna, both of which let me know they will be doing the Haunted Cornmaze this year (even bigger than last years!), and then a long discussion of props and setup followed. So far we have a good portion of it already mapped out and materials are coming in as well, so the building should start as soon as next weekend. Plus there's Autumn Fest and the annual trip up to Salem. And maybe a few parties this year as well. Hey, I'm single so now I can go have some fun

*blenches @ Heather*

Anywho..

Apart of the scare this summer, at the moment I'm doing ok. Physically and emotionally. Only time will tell. I guess we'll have to see how this season goes to be sure. Bring on the fiery foliage, crisp nights, apple-picking and jack o'lanterns

Bad Moon Rising was AWESOME! Reeead iiitt

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Menyon!

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Hmm http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/26346636/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/26346636/ Sun, 02 Aug 2009 20:59:51 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

Hmm, long time no spek. A few things have happened since the last I decided to stop by long enough to accomplish something. Heh. Sadly, the long gap is due to not having enough time to actually sit in front of a computer, and when I actually do I sometimes forget I actually have an account here ^^" Sad, I know, but it happens. As I don't really have much reason to be on here all that much anymore. Times change and I must change with them.

Half of this year has whizzed past already, and summer will soon be over- passing into my favorite season. Fall. No matter where I am, as long as I can see the foliage change, I'm pretty content. It's cheesy, yeah, but the Fall is the only time when I seem to be one step closer to that Inner Peace that's so elusive.

I finally learned a few lessons, harsh as they were, but I know that I won't be making those mistakes again. The walls are back up, and they will never come down. Ever. Even with Lady Dragon's infamous prophecy, I can't afford such a grievous mistake again, nor the setback it will bring. Instead, I'm pushing forward, full steam ahead and I won't look back. Not once. I have too much to do and not alot of time to do so. I can simply do without...

On a slightly brighter note, Menyon.com and Sherrilynkenyon.com sites are both up and running. The profiles system on the former is up and running smoothely again it would seem, yes I'm there. Facebook account is also up and running, as is Myspace for any who wish to add- go ahead and note me. I also have an LG for anyone else who may have one as well.

Apart from that I'll be disappearing on the weekend again as usual. And no, I won't say where to.

Release of BMR in August!

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Kenyon Minion

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild AWESOMEMESS-NESS http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/25644393/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/25644393/ Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:53:34 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

*squeals like a tween school girl*

OMFG LIKE YAY. And I will totally leave it at that for now. .. .. e.e

Oh, btw, my camera feels like working properly again ^^" so I should have a shitload of pikers to upload either today or tomorrow before I leave(SO sorry about lack of addages, been extremely busy). OH yes- going to Cape Cod with the gang for abit. May see Bristol 224 Annual 4 July parade. Maybe- if I can farking get up that early >.>

*bounces away*

Release of BMR in August!

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Kenyon Minion

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Like... No.. http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/25527730/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/25527730/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:01:28 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

Yeah, suckage. Name of the game, Life.

I've been busy ever since I started back at work, after pushing my recovery. Hopfully I won't regret in the near future. Working at Ballard's has become more of a chore than anything. I get that the "perfect job" is extremely hard to come by, but is it too much to ask to have a job where I won't mind as much getting up in the morning and working my ass off all day for? But yeah I know, have to work to support myself- cause unlike some folks out there, I don't have mommy and daddy answering to my every whim and shelling out money left and right.

The Horse World, especially around here, is totally pissing me off. I'm getting to the point where I ( people who know me know I'm generally a quiet person who can observe and not utter a sound) am finding it increasingly difficult to keep my comments to myself. DON'T- Don't EVER beat and animal in front of me. EVER. Don't abuse any living creatures ever, especially in my hearing range or field of vision. And not boasting, but both are excedingly sensative.

Barn politics at this place is absolutley driving me up the farking WALL. How the fark is someone supposed to paint a barn (ugly color combos, really, these people are farking awful with colors- canary yellow barn, shit brown trim- fucking ew, anywho) while some bitch who can't ride to save her life, has a shitload of contraptions on her horse that any rider with actual skill would never need to use or even dream of employing, start hanking on this poor animals mouth while beating his ass with a crop so loud its ECHOEING throughout the property all while screaming at him in obscenities? Really classy, duck fuckatrd. That horse owes you nothing, you are its leader, YOU owe HIM to be a decent human being- if there even are any around here!

And of course I have Chris (ogrewhowalkslikeaman, don't ask -_-" ) hovering over my shoulder sniping at me to mind my business and go back to work. It seriously took every fiber of my being and my iron self-control, sheer willpower NOT to punch his lights out. #1) I work for Marion Phillipi, not you asshole. #2)I don't like people hovering over me, escpecially at my back, attempting to do so usually results in intense physical pain #3) You know how I feel about abuse, seeing as you were so good at it!
So stick it.

Anywho, I've been taking some pics, when I have more than five minutes to myself. When will I be able to actually upload them to here? Gods only know. I meant to celebrate the Sabbat, but the weather sucked and time was not on my side that day. Go figure. *rolls eyes* I think I might actually take that job in Kentucky, you know. I can always shoot south after that, a kindof extended pitstip along the way. Anywhere but here sounds REAL good.

Oh, I forgot to mention my ohsosweet mother is giving full custody of Emily theteenbitchfromhell,spawnofsatan to Chris. Seems both parents have the same farking issue; haven't yet realized that being a good parent is a full time fucking gig, not something you can turn on and off whenever you FEEL like doing so, lets just give up when the going gets tough! YOU created this monster, now YOU have to deal with it. Suck doesn't it?

*snorts loudly*

Release of BMR in August!

Official DH Chat Minion,... ]]> =DarkIndigoChild Very Unhappy http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/25291398/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/25291398/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 13:08:32 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

Why?

A.) Thursday had a rough start with only four hours of sleep, barely. Spent the rest with Morgan after a shitty day a work.

B.) The night wasn't much better with rain, lightening, fallen tree covering half a paddock, stall and haybarn and an injured horse. Up even longer with no sleep and a giant adrenaline rush. Oh joy. Everything fizzles down abit and I'm sent inside to chill after reaching my limit, drift in and out of consciousness, go down stairs twice as I feel funny.

C.) I have to leave because symptoms are getting worse, trouble swallowing and breathe, everything hurts.

D.) I get rushed to hospital by my peeps, turns out to be allergic reaction paired with caffeine overdose. Stomach is pumped, put on Iv. Withdrawl turns into TPR. I'm kept overnight to watch vitals by a scary Nursezilla.

E.) I'm sent home around noon with antihist/steriod combo for six days. I spend most of my day with roomie drifting in and out. I come online to find some barely adult TEENAGER who was barely any help during that fucking ordeal with the horse- seriously all she did was hold a fucking light and then pass out on top of it so they couldn't even use it and had to use MY flashlight which I'll probably never get back, and then stay up alittle more with a horse that was semi-tranked- accusing everyone of leaving only her and Morie with the horses for a few hours! Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?

After what both me and Morie went through, plus what happened afterwards, I am so not in the fucking mood for this shit! I was the one that was with Morie through most of that ordeal. I was the one that called several people, helped with Elfie before anyone else got there, helped out MORE when there was plenty of other people there, had to keep up with Pride and keep checking on Gideon while push past My limit and then later having to go through my own ordeal.

So bitch. Shove it. You don't know me and you never will, you couldn't last five minutes in my shoes. No more being nice to a cry-baby, barely legal dumbass. I'm done.

Over and Out!

Release of BMR in August!

NOLA MOVE in June

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Kenyon Minion

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Oh Snap.. http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/24252854/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/24252854/ Wed, 15 Apr 2009 08:09:59 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

My bad. I really haven't been online much, as the Minions prolly noticed. Although I did mention warmer weather means more busy. *sigh* I've been so busy during the day that by the time 9-10pm comes around I'm actually exhuasted enough to sleep! ^^"

I know, that's so bad, huh? The resident NightOwl now sleeps at night. But this won't last forever so I'm not actually all that worried about it. But I wanna get online to say Hi to everyone, especially Stormee who got hit by a Tornadoe a few days ago down there in TN. I know she's Ok, but still.

Still working PT so it's not like its all fun and games til June............ sadly. But thankfully time is flying by, which is why I don't mind being busy- passes the time better. Before I know it, it'll be June and time to spread my wings.. *sings along to Nickelback*

~

Lord Dragon needs more milk, Lillie wants men in leather kilts, Stormes's plottin to rule the Universe, Rao wants Dev slathered with honey and I want sit on Jaden, and Brandi and Star wanna grope everyone.

<--- That still applies, LMAO

K*CON 2009 Info
Friday, October 9, 2009 Â Sunday, October 11, 2009
Royal Sonesta Hotel New Orleans
300 Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana, 70130 USA
Phone: 800.SONESTA (US & Canada) or 504.586.0300

Registration sometime in April 2009 (Stay tune for info, although it might be pushed to May!)

Dragon*Con
The four day pass is currently up for $80 until mid May than it goes up to $90 around July, so hurry and get them. Hotelrooms are another story, so if you're a Kenyon Minion, check out the BBS for peeps who have already booked rooms and are willing for roommates! Plus Kenyon Minion meeting plans in progress!

Release of BMR in August!

NOLA MOVE in June

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Kenyon Minion

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild *cackles* http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/23618265/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/23618265/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:26:20 PDT Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

WTH NO

Lol, sorry.

I've been in such a goofy mood lately- prolly cause Spring is so close its almost tangible. Gawds I miss the warm weather Soooo much.

Work is retarded but wtf else is new, you know? Can't wait to step down at Providence, really man

>.>

Anywho, Hunter and Jd are both at their usual antics again, oh joy farking bully for me, eh?

*rolls eyes so hard she swears she saw Jesus*

BEHIND STORMEE'S COUCH! HE was in the trunk on the way back from MehIco LMFAO. Lord Dragon needs more milk, Lillie wants men in leather kilts, Stormes's plottin to rule the Universe, Rao wants Dev slathered with honey and I want sit on Jaden, and Brandi and Star wanna grope everyone.

Wild bunch or what? LOL Minion Cave RULES.

K*CON 2009 Info
Friday, October 9, 2009 Â Sunday, October 11, 2009
Royal Sonesta Hotel New Orleans
300 Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana, 70130 USA
Phone: 800.SONESTA (US & Canada) or 504.586.0300

Registration sometime in April 2009 (Stay tune for info)

Dragon*Con
The four day pass is currently up for $80 until mid May than it goes up to $90 around July, so hurry and get them. Hotelrooms are another story, so if you're a Kenyon Minion, check out the BBS for peeps who have already booked rooms and are willing for roommates! Plus Kenyon Minion meeting plans in progress!

Release of BMR in August!

NOLA MOVE in June

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Kenyon Minion

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Farking Snow! Damnit! http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/23201362/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/23201362/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 23:24:07 PST Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

Damn snow, man! WHY?!? Spring better get rid of this shit reeeal fast! I am SO sick of this white crap everywhere! Its cold, sucks to drive in it, gets all over the farking place (inside boots, coats, gloves, hair, wtf?) Ahhhhh! *rubs face in frustration*

It was so warm last week.. I want it back. -_-"
*sobs*

K*CON 2009 Info
Friday, October 9, 2009 Â Sunday, October 11, 2009
Royal Sonesta Hotel New Orleans
300 Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana, 70130 USA
Phone: 800.SONESTA (US & Canada) or 504.586.0300

Registration sometime in April 2009 (Stay tune for info)

Dragon*Con
The four day pass is currently up for $80 until mid May than it goes up to $90 around July, so hurry and get them. Hotelrooms are another story, so if you're a Kenyon Minion, check out the BBS for peeps who have already booked rooms and are willing for roommates! Plus Kenyon Minion meeting plans in progress!

Release of BMR in August!

Also the NOLA move for this Summer is becoming more solid with each passing month. Just have a few things to figure out, besides the actually travel route and maybe a hotel (thinking Nashville, half way down), among other things!

Guess I'll go dance myself warm -_-"

Official DH Chat Minion, DH BBS Minion, DH Minion of Doom, and Kenyon Minion

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Spring Tease http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/23039330/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/23039330/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 11:57:26 PST Myspace | Crossing The Line | DH Chat

~.Taobh dorcha na GealaÃ.~

Alrighty then!

This weekend according to the National Weather Channel, the temp is supposed to spike alittle this weekend, for a taste of spring. Yeah, today isn't too bad though, not as warm as tomorrow and Sunday- in the high 40sF and low 50sF. Very nice. Of course it's supposed to drop alittle again and then spike again. It'll most likely do that all through February and some of March as Spring battle Winter for supremecy, lol

Can't wait. Ok, so apart for helping out in providence I also now have a local part time retail job. Aka, saving for summer as I plan to do quite abit in only three months. Mainly the NOLA move AND maybe a week or so vaca back to Europe. Would be nice, been meaning to go back and visit some more places to add to my lists.

Anywho, this weekend is a trip up to Boston, for the annual Bike Show/Convention! A day in Boston Harbor and the Convention Center, like yay

Motorcycles and Bad Boys R Us e.e LMAO

Oh, and I went to see Underworld III, Rise of the Lycans... AWESOME!

Seeee iiittt or die.. >.>

*bounces* Gotta go! Much to do!

Journal style by ~shatteredplastic. Background from The Inspiration Gallery.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild "21" http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22975280/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22975280/ Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:43:58 PST
Sure wish I didn't have or someone would stop. I'd rather forget.

Anywho, we had a surprising burst of warmth the past two days, a teaste a spring (damn gods). And of course, today it's supposed to snow, only a dusting of course, but still. *sigh* Although seeing as I was bored for abit, I actually sat there long enough to get the five day forcast and found that its goinf to warm up again next weekend! *laughs* Even as high as the low 50s! Just in time for the Bike Con in Boston ^^ To which I'm going, even bringing the digicam for pics. I'll most likely put select ones in the scraps and some even up on Myspace for the rest of the folks.

Anyways, supposedly celebrating to big 2 and 1 with the fam and friends today at 4:30pm, and I don't "offically" turn 21 til 12:31 pm EST but that's ok, already have people wishing HB lol I appreciate it guys, really do. Especially from certain people *winkwink* Gah, enough of that! Although its really the first time a guy actually had the balls to chase ME, lmao. I wonder where this will go six months from now, a fling to remember or something more? Something to wipe out bad memories, the nightmares and years of mistrust and brokenness? I just want someone who can hold me and not hold me back or try to change me. Accpetance is everything.

"I'm selfish, impatient, and alittle insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control and at time hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as Hell don't deserve my best!" Marilyn Monroe

I think she's got it pegged there. Although I'm not generally a selfish person, at times I'm capable of it, but wtf I'm only human damnit. If wanting a life, to be financially secure in an uncertain world, and to have someone actually Love me and MEAN IT, prove it, not just "say" it- makes me selfish than I am one selfish bitch from hell, huh? Stick it.

Words I rarely take at face value, actions speak to me. They always have. Words can be twisted, actions rarely. You say you love someone and then walk away or just watch said person walk away and not try to lift a finger otherwise tells me you never actually loved that person in the first place. You LIED.

But on another note- it's good to know that Spring is on its way. To thaw the ice of winter and mayhaps even Me?

]]> =DarkIndigoChild TGIF http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22763942/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22763942/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 16:08:23 PST
Don't think I have anything planned for the weekend, atleast not off the top of my head. So maybe I can actually go somewhere this weekend, not like that last couple of weeks, stuck inside due to the bitter New England cold and snow. Ack. Two more months before the Thaws come.

Can't come fast enough in my opinion, damnit!

Apart from being fairly occupied, thanks to the usual plus friends- my 21 Birthday is coming, pretty much just around the corner. Literally. The day after Imbolc, lol. I don't mind being born on a sabbat but it would have been nice to have been born on a slightly warmer one. -_-"

Oh! And lady Dragon is finally having lil Bree-chan! ^_^ She just called on her way into the hospital! Yays for another Aquarius for Auntie Attie! And Seanie's baby is also coming soon *bounces* Two Aquarian babies for Auntie. I have much spoiling to do e.e

~

On those happier notes, with a fundemental milestone and two babies on there way, for the moment I guess you could say for the first time in a long time I can actually stand myself, I'm more at peace finally. My nightmares haven't ceased, but then don't occur as often as they did a few months ago. Granted my dreams are still bizzare as ever, its better than waking screaming or drenched in sweat, shaking like a tree in Katrina... I don't mind change as long as its remotely progessive. I feel good about the Year of 2009..

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Black and White http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22685420/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22685420/ Tue, 20 Jan 2009 01:15:18 PST
But sometimes I think, maybe the past can not let go of me. Because I desperately want to move forward but something is holding me back. I'm not yet sure what it really is, but hopefully I can uncover it soon. I know some of it has to do with this Winter, and the fact that Winter brings the overwhelming urge to "hibernate" for me, to recede from the world until the Sun returns..

This year I've been fighting this urge to sink lower in the Black. It's hard, but I've been keeping myself afloat so far, although alittle while ago I almost lost myself. Thanks to those that stuck with me, you will forever have my gratitude. Always, to those strong enough to stand by me. That's really what I want from people, someone to stand by me no matter what goes down, not matter how dark I get or how angry I may become in any situation. It doesn't have to be an army, even just one person would do. For now, there's enough of you to keep me going even when things get tough. Stay with me for as long as you can, please.

Baring one person, the rest that walked away, I now understand simply were not strong enough. They just didn't have what it takes to walk with me. Its ok, I don't hate them, I just...

Severely disappointed...

But its kinda, almost sad that even now I would still welcome back each and every one of them if they ever wanted to walk beside me again. Funny, huh? Maybe that is what's holding me in this frozen place? Still pondering that.Maybe enlightenment will come with the Spring thawes? Or maybe with my 21st birthday speeding towards my in February. The gang said that with the warmer weather they going to force me to go "Man Hunting", although to be honest the whole idea (while cute and apprecriated even though I'm still kinda lickin my wounds here) seems like disastser in the making -_-" Oh Joy...

~

Thankfully on a slightly more brighter note, this weekend was fairly amusing thanks to the Minions and Vel. The latter of which we both seem to agree that Algebra is the root of all evil, lol. Besides the fact he probably nearly got mauled in the MC -_-" So sorry about that. But it was nice to talk to everyone again and goof off. Believe or not I do like to do that every now and then, and it was especially nice this time. Although one of our own seems to have gone missing, worrying just about everyone in her absence over there *pokes said person from Ohio* I seeee you on Myspace, missy, come tell the gals you're still breathing before the Minions of Doom have to go for a roadtrip, eh? I can't find my Salad Tongs e.e

An even another note, in efforts to occupy myself more to ward off the "ebil soul sucking depression" (thanks Kay-chan *twitch* Damn snow..) I've been watching anime o.0" So far it's some Bleach(getting alittle old now though), Code Geass and Code Geass R2, Vampire Knight(love this one), starting Gundam 00 and Chobits at the present. Any others I should watch, definitely open to suggestions ^ ^

Btw, Happy 2009 to those I may have missed!

]]> =DarkIndigoChild SHITES Damnit! http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22583291/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22583291/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 17:44:11 PST cold! Like 0F to -10F coooold. This is absolutley ridiculous now. Is New England trying to tell me somthing? Like "move your ass alittle faster and get the fuck out of here, eh?" 'Cause that's the exact impression I'm getting, lol

Gods I miss the South sooo bad right now. Everything from the warmer weather to the people themselves. *sigh* Its kinda alittle ironic how I was born in the winter in the North, but my heart and soul are in the South. Deeply disturbed by that.

Apart from fear of going outside right now and literally freezing my ass right off- I feel like... doing something? Just to pass the time alittle faster. Ever since Pepe died I've been sinking deeper and deeper in this sortof.. hibernation? An odd drifting like state, where I literally didn't care nor really notice what was going on around me. But, recently I had a Wake Up Call that really woke me up and smacked things back into percpective again.

So, apart from finding maybe another job just for the spring, probably atleast parttime or maybe even volunterring at a local shelter, like maybe the Cat shelter in Woonsocket or something? I even want to go to the movies to see something new. I'm thinking the Unborn or maybe the Uninvited or something. I wish it was alittle warmer so I could pick up jogging again as I live right next to the local bikepath. Gah, maybe I go to the local gym and jog there? Hmm, sounds like a good plan. Anyone local wanna go to the movies this weekend?

I need to get moving and get this year rolling soon. I really need to shake off the rest of my hibernation before it eats me alive..

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Small Reflections http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22402397/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22402397/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:39:21 PST
In others.. its almost painful. 2008 was a hard year, for many of us. Particularly for myself and those close to me- and those who used to be close... I lost a few people along the way, and most were involunteery.

Deaths and abandonment seemed to be the theme of last year. I hope, with probably too much optimism, that this year will have a better theme. Generally, I just want to move forward and let go of some of the deep regrets that seem to want to hold me back. I know I can't go back now and I see no real way to mend some of the bridges that were burned(not they would remotely care, even if I did try, I emailed saying my piece recently, and if they want a translation they would have to actually email me *snorts*). Maybe for the best, but somewhere in my hurt it still hurts alittle. The faint memory of a song you just can't remember the lyrics to. Humming the melody that seems so out of place.

And so my 21st birthday is speeding towards me, what I really have to celebrate, I'm not sure. But I'll try to smile and have fun for everyone else's benefit. Maybe this year I'll finally find someone I can be accepted by.. someone who can actually love me for the constantly evolving person I am? I don't think its alot to ask, its really all I want from this world. Someone to spend my time with?

Guess we'll have to wait and see.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Aftermath of Yule http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22206999/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22206999/ Fri, 26 Dec 2008 10:01:19 PST
I got a shitload of gift cards, mainly stuff I asked for- also a new cell and a new digi cam (totally yay, finally), so if I know you and you want my new cell number, ask and I'll note you.

So with the new digi cam will come more art to the gallery. Been meaning to do so but just haven't had the time nor to resources- and I'm free this weekend, thank Goddess for that. Told everyone to leave me the fuck alone so I could actually free some of my time up to do whatever came my way, like visit friends I haven't seen in ages -_-"

Sorry guys.

But Merry Christmas and Happy Yule to those I may have missed here or didn't get on Myspace, which btw if I haven't added you there feel free to go ahead and add me! I'm on a roll with that lately thanks to DH chat lol

Otherwise have fun and stay safe and warm, and Happy New Year!!

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Oi http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22050524/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/22050524/ Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:14:29 PST
Alrighty then.

New camera as an early Yule gift, thank gods. In the process of getting a new cell, will dole out the new number to the peeps that want it as soon as I get in. Internet and the phone won't be hooked up at my place til I think after the first of January, I think. So for now I'm still on Marge's comp for the evening. I'll be online but might not be directly by the comp all night.

Getting ready for Yule, which is Sunday plus the Christmas celebration for the Catholic side of the family. (Gods I'm lucky they are slightly openminded peeps and have accepted the Pagan me finally *snorts*)

Anywho, I think I'm free Friday and Saturday, maybe on Sunday not quite sure yet- but going to the Lefrancois' for Christmas Eve party and then the Fam is over Marge's for Christmas.

Joy to the World, eh?

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Moving Forward steadily http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/21996916/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/21996916/ Mon, 15 Dec 2008 12:37:36 PST Against the grain should be your way of life.
WhatÂs worth the price is always worth the fight.
Every second counts, cuz thereÂs no second try.
So live like you'll never live it twice.

Yes, I let go today. It felt kinda good for once I didn't hold back. I was in Salem for alittle and an old pagan friend asked if I was ok because I was abnormally quiet this time (to be honest I usually am a pretty quiet person, but I feel quiet good around her so the flow of conversation and laughter is usually quiet good) and for some reason I'm so sick of bottling everything inside me for such long periods of time.

This time I couldn't seem to do it and I just (sadly) burst into tears. Mortified I am still at the lapse in self control (thank you Yoda). But she told me exactly what I needed to hear, "Life is not over until you say it is. Are you willing to give up now when the Tides are about to turn?"

No, no I'm not. I'm just so tired of shouldering everyone else burdens beside my own.

So she did a cleansing with me, and I let years of pain wash away in less than an hour. I still feel some, with certain memories, but that's to be expected. But I feel stronger and more ready to move forward again.

Bring It On, Attie's Back.

_{I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing
My mind was closing, now I'm believing
I finally know what just what it means to let someone in
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will
So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone
I'd search forever just to bring you home,
Here and now this I vow}

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Massive Headache and assnumbage http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/21907316/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/21907316/ Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:35:25 PST
Don't ask, really.

Anywho, massive headache has returned, and no, folks. I don't know why, and yes I did resort to Tylenol. Joy oh joy.

I'm still alive, sadly. And still abit hot as earlier. Alittle uncomfortable, but I'm still functioning thankfully. Only a fraction of the fever is due to Rao's emails ^^" I swear the horomones are held ruthlessly in check! LMAO. Promise. Although apparently the unnanomous agreement is I need to get laid. o.o Geeeeeeeee thanks.

You know sadly, I think they might actually be right. -_-"

I won't have time for another REAL realtionship til............ Spring.

After disaster a la August- I can wait. Still waiting for a real man to rpove me wrong. Wonder how long it'll take?

Gah, for now Attiegirl is doing potty dance as she puts up remainder of the DH RP proboards. See ya!

]]> =DarkIndigoChild If Today Was Your Last Day... http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/21817927/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/21817927/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:30:35 PST My best friend gave me the best advice,
he said each day's a gift and not a given right.
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind,
and try to take the path less traveled by
that first step you take is the longest ride.

Chorus:
If today was your last day,
and tomorrow was too late, could say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you, would you?
Would you live each moment like your last?
And leave old pictures in the past?
And don't hate any night you had?
Would you, would you?
If today was your last day?

Against the grain should be your way of life.
WhatÂs worth the price is always worth the fight.
Every second counts, cuz thereÂs no second try.
So live like you'll never live it twice.
DonÂt take the free ride in your own life.

Chorus

would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce on memories,
would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to god above,
that you'll fight only for the love?

Chorus

would you, would you?
Make up it up like mending a broken heart?
You know, it's never too late.
To shoot for the stars,
regardless of who you are?
So, do whatever it takes,
cuz you can't rewind a moment in this life.

Let nothing stand in your way,
cause when your hands are tied,
IÂm always there, I'm on your side.

Chorus

if today was your last day?

[link] <-- ~

That definitely hit something. Reminds me Life is too damn short for half the bullshit people put each other through.

Life is to live, not make others miserable.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Gotta Be Somebody.. somewhere http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/21729842/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/21729842/ Sat, 29 Nov 2008 11:29:26 PST
_{This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So IÂ´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when weÂ´re meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdinÂ my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know theyÂ´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
ItÂ´s just like DÃ©jÃ Vu
Me standinÂ here with you
So IÂ´ll be holdin`my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I spend forever with?

ÂCause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
ThereÂ´s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know theyÂ´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

You canÂ´t give up!
When you're LookinÂ´ for a diamond in the rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure youÂ´re holdin` on
ÂCause it could be the one, the one youÂ´re waiting on

ÂCause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know theyÂ´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There `s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.}

[link] -- go listen ^_^

[link] --another new Fave

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Annd No.. http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20871584/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20871584/ Tue, 07 Oct 2008 09:48:48 PDT
Good reason, too. I actually got sick for once, odd, eh? YEah, NO idea what the hell it was but I had a spiked temp of 101F for two days straight. No appetite, aches all over, couldn't breathe and my thoat was a sandpit.

Lovely. I'm out and about today as its the first day I actually feel alive enough to move. Of course I'm in a thermal tee AND fleece even though the sun is shining and its supposedly somewhere in the 60s. Sad, no?

But I had sveral people tell me I look better today, which is good I guess. I feel alittle better. Still sound alittle nasally, which is very annoying (makes me sound like a five year old *grumbles*) and my thorats alittle dry but overall I'm still kickin.

Getting ready for travel soon. Fuckin YAY. Definitely a sigh of relief there. Life is looking up lately. I wish..

Nevermind, no point of wishing for the impossible, huh? 'specially when men are involved. Ok.

I'm good, guess I'll update soon when I have something to say. *bouncesaway*

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Taaagged by Rao http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20738389/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20738389/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:28:08 PDT
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it last year in your closet and I saw you drive out the crazy monk. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning the pictures from LA
to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I was interviewed by the Times about eggplant-fetishism .

Your everlasting enemy,
-Attie-

(((WTF? o.0)))

RULES:
Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you__4__ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflÃ©
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common se... ]]> =DarkIndigoChild Bouncing to Mabon http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20517955/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20517955/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:10:28 PDT special lol

Anyways, I still have that restless nervous feeling. The interview is later this week which seriously has me on edge, but I'm am so thankful for all my friends rallying for support- online and off.

I appreciate it, very much. I've no friggin idea what I'd do without ya, really.

But other than what we've been talking about on myspace, I've been here at Morgan's alot- goofing off and working on and off. Surprising how long its been since I let go and cut loose alittle more. I missed it. And that claustophobic feeling is almost gone (sortof, lol) and soon, I will be too ^^ Yay! *bounceslikeison6cansofredbull*

Awesomeness

Oh and in case I can't make it on between noow and then- cause it is coming right around the corner.

Happy Mabon, blesed be.

^_^

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Stayin' Alive http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20477991/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20477991/ Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:37:36 PDT
Generally:

Out of Max/Motherdearest' house in Providence and back in woonsocket, going back and forth between Chris' and Morgan's house plus some other shit mixed in here and there.

Have to go back and get the rest of my stuff as I kinda left in abit of a rush, just the usual- bed, computer................clothes.

Anywho, updates soon. Just a wee bit busty with getting things sorted out for alittle til October. Not getting too comfortable. But let's see what happens, eh?

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Here and Now http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20224120/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20224120/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 14:12:05 PDT
For now it's stretch and relax for bit. Did some chores here, totally took my time for once and now I'm sitting here sifting through photos I downloaded and cleaning out the Recycle Bin and deleting some more random crap in files I didn't even know existed...

Anywho, the decisions bwteen where to go next has pretty much been decided. Generally the gyst of it is as follows:

By early October, if the Charlton Barn job does falls through, I'll take up Americorps and call them back with a definitive Yes. Either way it gets me out of this Hellhole.

Also watching New Orleans get smacked by Hurricane Gustav, like most of my friends. We're pretty much holding our collective breathe, hoping it won't be a Katrina. >.< So far so good *knocks on wood*

I have been tagged -_-" by

Choose a singer/band/group.
Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group.
Tag 6 more people (let them know they've been tagged).

the band I chose is Nickelback:

Are you male or female ?
"Figured You Out"

Describe yourself.
"Do This Anymore"

What do people feel when they're around you?
"If Everyone Cared"

Describe your current relationship. Lol- Define "current relationship" or lack there of? Cross between- "Never Again" and "Fight For All The Wrong Reasons"

Where would you want to be now?
"Feelin Way Too Damn Good"

How do you feel about love?
"Learn The Hard Way"

What's your life like?
"Another Hole In My Head"

What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
"Savin' Me"

I think I'll save everyone by not tagging on this one

Outta Jail free card guys, k?

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Goofin' http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20205311/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20205311/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:37:18 PDT

Anywho, I started cleaning out my comp- and I mean major cleaning. I ran through system checks and deleted quite abit of old crap (you can imagine the "wtf where'd that come from" look I had, lol) and I some how made it to the Message Logs saved from IMs old and recent and of course I deleted some (rolled my eyes at a few, but yeah movingon) I reached the old ones between me and Morgan and goofed so bad I did a Stormee (Snorted so hard I saw Jesus) LMFAO

7/25/2007 8:58:11 PM Morrighainne Atalanta Pendragon: Payback's a bitch and she's gonna get hers, plus interest

7/25/2007 8:58:40 PM Morrighainne Atalanta Pendragon: your phone is going to ring

Good times, definitely good times. Miss that..

But the comp seems fairly ok for the moment. Otherwise recharging the digi cam cause I accidently left it on, yeah blonde moment.

Still in the middle of making a few decisions, whatever the outcome I'll post the generalization up here when it happens.Waiting for word on the possible Farm job in Charlton, if nothing happens by October I'm taking on Americorps and gettin the hell out of here (as I royally hate being here, you've NO idea).

Plus I hope to post stuff by the week.

~

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Better.. http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20153569/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20153569/ Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:38:51 PDT
As I said earlier, personal "laundry" will no longer be "aired" here on dA, but instead at my LJ that I had and forgot about and some peeps from chat/myspace are adding me this week.. ^^"

Yeah, forever the absentmindedprofessor Lol

Ok, back to art. I've been walking around with the digi cam again, so some time this week I'll be slapping those up for ya- I have some poetry but again that's going on LJ, not here.

Although... oddly enough from what friends say I've already begun to revert back to "myself". I wasn't sure what they meant til Kay (gods why didn't I see it before..anyways) clarified that they meant "Me" from two years ago.

Apparently I changed alot because of - that?

But I realized it for myself last night sitting under the night sky. I didn't do that very often for the past two years, it felt good to be outside. Even my sleeping and eating patterns have changed, and I've been going back to my old ones. I realized a few things about myself and about my relationships with others. I saw a few patterns I know I have to break. But for now I will concentrate on where I need to be myself and then maybe I'll think about a more serious relationship.... with someone less than 20 miles away -_-"

Oh and new songs from the girls in chat too. That also helped. Very Dark Hunter lol I even have a playlist on my myspace labelled "DH playlist" which I'm steadily adding too *snorts*

Also, Americorps contacted me. I didn't even think twice, I accepted- where ever they are sending me or when I don't care I didn't even ask ( Although I already know it's either Louisiana, Kentucky or Tennessee). I just told the woman : "Take me away. I'm ready to go."

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Tired.. http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20112456/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20112456/ Sat, 23 Aug 2008 11:49:34 PDT
I'm taking a break from being online for awhile, those who have my number can call. Lynda or LadyD has my RI number if ya want it..

I'm tired, gonna go take a nap before I leave.

No idea what's going on Sunday, obviously nothing.

*sigh*

Alright, I'll be on Monday I guess? For alittle while, late probably, in time to say hi in Chat.

Over and Out.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild No http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20102001/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20102001/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 19:14:38 PDT
At-il vraiment pense que je serait de retour Ã lui aprÃ¨s cette? Pourquoi diable ai-je me permettre d'aimer quelqu'un milliers de mines loin? At-il vraiment le mÃªme plan de maintien de cette farce en cours? "Mettre en veille"!!? Soit vous voulez ou vous n'avez pas! Pas de jeux!

Merci..

Je ne vais pas parler de ma vie personnelle ici. Il est prÃ©fÃ©rable de cette faÃ§on. Je n'aime pas ceux qui connaissent mon chaque mouvement. K?

Je vais noyer dans la musique pour l'instant.

Je ne suis pas moi-mÃªme dommage. Il sera difficile, mais si je suis.

"Ce n'est pas ce que nous mais, mais ce que nous croyons"

*sigh*

Je suis bien...vraiment

Je pense que?

(Oddly enough I've never once cried for "mercy" til now.. how ironic)

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Raging Silence http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20039993/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/20039993/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 11:21:03 PDT
You know when you've been friends with someone for a really long time, maybe even life long friends, and you have moments where there's a sortof.. "comfortable silence"? A silence where you can sit there and do whatever your doing with your friend either in the same room/building and not feel the overwhelming need to say something just fill that weird "void"?

Well, the same thing goes for online. Usually, if I've known you for awhile (and this typically usually goes for female friends) and I don't say anything for awhile it usually means I'm pretty comfortable around you. No I didn't forget you were there, I rarely if ever do. I'm pretty good with that. But guys, you aren't always in the same cata, K?

I've realized some of the close friends.. we don't actually "talk" much anymore.. hell not just talk, no joking around, no goofing off or laughing or any type of actual discussion really takes place, just the "hey, what's up" maybe alittle something else, then hours of silence then it's "'Night, bye"

Nothing.

You would never even know we were er.. what's the word.. "friends"?

Yah, sounds harsh but thats what I'm gettin' here guys. Honestly. I'm not feelin' it anymore. The silence is deafening..

I'm not feeling anything...

And it's dieing pretty - damn - quick.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Weekend Fun http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19988710/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19988710/ Sat, 16 Aug 2008 13:57:51 PDT
Tonight is the SK Signing at Foxwoods Casino in CT, finally. We've been waiting awhile for it, can't wait! It's another mini Launch party for Ash Tour and a costume contest. Not sure if I'll dress up or just go in casual black. Leaving soon though!

I would have gone to the one in Boston, but as I now live in Rhode Island and not MA anymore, I figured it'd be easier to just go to Foxwoods. Besides, this one seems more fun ^^"

I get to meet some from chat! Sweeett

*bounces*

Oh and Sunday I'm not quite sure just what exactly is I'm up to just yet, but I'm gonna wing it, whatever happens, happens. I'm game for anything, you got my number just give me a call!

And I MIGHT be back early enough to say Hi to peeps in chat, if not Luvs and see y'all Monday!

Over and Out.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Aonarch http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19726440/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19726440/ Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:26:52 PDT
But the gals help a bunch. They really do. Rao, Lynda, Sam, Stormee, Lillie, thanks you guys, you all rock. Absolutely.

You guys all help with that aweful isolated feeling that's been hard to shake lately. Really hard to shake. You seem to be the only people I confess to, swear and getting pissed off with, goof around like tweens with... especially lately- some of which I'll refrain from talking about here. You guys are my other older sisters, lol.

I appreciate it, more than you know.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Snagged http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19646346/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19646346/ Mon, 28 Jul 2008 17:01:13 PDT [x] You watch anime. (occasionally)
[ ] You read manga.
[ ] You buy/collect anime DVDs or manga volumes.
[ ] You own some other form of anime/manga merchandise.
[ ] You have referred to an anime character as 'hot' before.
[ ] You have cosplayed.
[ ] You have done so in public.
[ ] You have been to an anime/manga convention.
[ ] You have created/joined a fanclub for an anime/manga character.
[ ] You have created/joined a hateclub for an anime/manga character.
[ ] You have squealed when you found out somebody had the same name as an anime character you knew.
[x] You enjoy drawing anime.
[ ] People you know know you as the 'anime' person.
[ ] You know that it is pronounced 'mawnguh' and not 'manga' like it is spelled.
ANIME/MANGA POINTS: 2 / 14 *shrug*

ART NERD
[x] You like art.
[x] You actually consider yourself an artist.
[ ] When using art supplies, the brand of them matters to you.
[x] You have a favorite brand. (prismacolor ^^)
[x] You have asked for art supplies as a Christmas/birthday gift before.
[x] You give people your drawings as gifts.
[x] People actually ask for your drawings.
[x] You are known as 'the art person' at your school. (and horse lady)
[x] Instead of just 'brown' or "pink', you'd be specific; it's 'sienna brown' or 'blush pink'. Or whatever.
[ ] You have taken an art class outside of school.
[x] You have considered a career as an artist.
[x] Your school papers are always covered in doodles. ^^"
[ ] You have a favorite artist.
[x] Your drawings have been framed. (by friends and family)
[x] You carry a sketchbook with you everywhere you go. (most of the time)
ART NERD POINTS: 12 / 15

MUSICAL NERD
[x] You play a musical instrument.
[ ] You play more than one instrument.
[ ] You actually really enjoy playing your instrument.
[ ] You've given your instrument a name.
[ ] You've partidipated in an extracurricular activity for your instrument..
[ ] You are known by what you play.
[ ] You listen to classical music.
[ ] You are wondering whether that refers to the classical music genre or the classical music time period.
[ ] You have a favorite composer.
[ ] All of your friends are from your band/orchestra class.
[ ] You write music.
[x] You've had discussions with your friends about music; your favorite composers/instruments/musical time periods/key/etc...
[ ] You have considered a professional career with your instrument.
[ ] You are never nervous playing for other people.
MUSICAL NERD POINTS: 2 / 14

VIDEO GAME NERD
[ ] You play video games.
[ ] You own more than 4 different video game systems.
[ ] You've had debates over which system is the greatest.
[ ] You play video games every day.
[ ] You have played a video game for over 10 hours.
[ ] You have songs from your favorite video games on your MP3 Player.
[ ] You love to talk about video games.
[ ] You memorize the dates for when a new game is being released.
[ ] People know you as the 'gamer' person.
[ ] You spend more time on video games than you do hanging out with friends.
[ ] Your gaming system is in your room.
[ ] You have preferences when it comes to what company your game came from.
[ ] You've had debates over which company is the best.
[ ] You keep playing a game until you beat it
[ ] It makes you angry when you found out somebody looked up cheat codes on the internet to beat their game.
VIDEO GAME NERD POINTS: 1 / 15 (Thank Gods)

COMPUTER NERD:
[x] You use the computer every day.
[x] You have an account/username on some sort of social website.
[ ] You go into random internet chatrooms.
[x] You spend at least 2 hours a day on the computer.
[x] You use computer faces.
[x] It is hard to go a day without using the computer.
[x] You spend time in online forums. (DHchat ^^)
[x] In the forum/chatroom you use, you are known there by everyone else.
[x] You have friends you have only met online. [Many of them.]
[X] You have/have had a girlfriend/boyfriend you have met online.
[x] You have actually met an online friend in person.
[ ] U cn ezly rd 'txttlk.' [Fuck that shit, learn to type you pussies.]
[ ] You have said 'lol' or 'omg' in speech that is not online.
[x] You can type really, really fast.
COMPUTER NERD POINTS: 11 / 14 ^^

http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19555801/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:17:40 PDT
Sorry for the lack of updates in both journals and art. To both I've been extremely busy with many things, which in some ways I don't mind- seeing as I generally like to be occupied, but in others its alittle annoying because it more often than not lately prevents me from doing what I want to do. Typical, no? To the latter, having camera issues coupled with again, the fact I haven't had much time and if and when I do I'm tired or don't have the motivation. I apologize for that -_-"

As to dancing on Thunder, I wish I could, but at the moment I'm just listening to the distant rumbles rolling in as the winds pick up even more and the rain finally starts. I'm along in this old house, which I don't mind as for the past few months I've been surrounded by people in one form or another with absolutely NO peace and quiet. A nice change of pace.

On another note, it seems I may have another new job, finally. Working at a movie store for abit. Mainly day hours, with the option of working a few nights as overtime. Sounds ok. I've done cashier/counter help before and it seems like a nice shop so hey *shrug* we'll see how it goes.

On another note still, after almost two weeks of meditating, constant thinking, speaking with trusted elders and a nice little ritual that drained me abit- I've had a few epiphanies that seem to all happen at once which I'm still sorting through; but the mojority of which I completley comprehend. I know what I need to do and how I need to do it. But I have two problems, how long can I postpone actually doing this and how and if I'm going to tell those closest to me.

Dilemas, dilemas.

And for now I need to sign off as the Thunderstorm has arrived in full swing and is getting just alittle dangerous to remain online. Hope it ends soon so I can come online tonight and say Hi later. See yas

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Storm....wow.. http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19164359/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19164359/ Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:37:06 PDT Â

Holy Shit it's marble sized hail, high wind and thunder and lightening in Providence >.>

I cringe everytime the winds blow and the hail hits the window or the thunder overhead make the floor quake...

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Why Can't Anyone Hear Me? http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19080163/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/19080163/ Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:35:02 PDT Â

No one ever truly hears me, they never listen to what I have to say. Never comprehend the meaning of my words.

They only seem to care if I get what THEY are trying to say.

Thank you so much for understanding.

Only two people in my life have ever trully understood me. One has recently left my life and another is also having trouble being heard.

Life is SO good.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Happy Father's Day and then some http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/18863050/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/18863050/ Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:27:38 PDT Â

First Happy Pap's Day to the dads out there.

Second, I'm moving. Again. Of course if you know me you know my reaction to these kinds of things my biotchfromhellofamotherIwascursedwith.

*scenario of my leaning back against the counter in the kitchen after a day of babysitting a 12 year old who thinks she's going on 18 and a antsy, unholy inquisitive 2 year old and anothher 12 year old who I swear is mute, I've yet to hear him squeak once- and snacking on a cereal bar. Now it's been a long day, from 8 am to dinner around 6 pm ish, and at this space in time it's 11pm- ma walks in after getting ready for bed*

Ma: "Are you staying up, Attie, or going to bed"?

Me: "Still in DH chat for abit, why"?

Ma: "I just figured you might want to get some sleep, we have busy week ahead of us, you know"

Me *woman's intuition sends off warning bells, gives her a suspicious glare* "Oh, how so"?

Ma *nonchalant shrug* "There's a house in Providence Max likes, we're going to check it out sometimes this week. If all goes well, we'll be moving in by the end of the month-"

Me *gasps, chokes on cereal bars and let's out a frankly colorful string of nice little bombs ^^" * "WTF? You can not be flippin serious"?! *ogles*

Ma: "No, I'm serious. Don't stay up too late Attie" *turns into her room and shuts the door, leaving me baffled and down right PISSED OFF*

Lovely. I can't believe she's pulling this, the house we're at now- we haven't even been here for a full year, yet! Only just over 6 months!!

WTF is UP with this chick? I've moved 7 times in my life, this making #8 with #9 hot behind it when I'm going down to Lousianna for the HFL program I joined. But man, this is getting ridiculous now!

Fuck it, whatever, I'm over it..

*fumes*

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Dark Hunters and Fireworks http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/18513835/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/18513835/ Mon, 26 May 2008 15:59:30 PDT Â

Happy Memorial Day to everyone!

Celebrated with parade, cook out and fireworks ^_^ the town really outdid themselves this year, a full half hour of fireworks and a grand finale that made my ribs vibrate, lol. Funfun e.e

Btw, there's a fairly new proboards based on the Dark Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon, for anyone who likes either role playing or the DH series.. or both? Lol Since its just gone up its kinda vacant at the moment, anyone can join and bring friends! Go go *poke* ^_^

[link]

]]> =DarkIndigoChild ~............~ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/18134925/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/18134925/ Fri, 02 May 2008 19:57:33 PDT Â

My chest hurts..

Tonight I was asked, "So... are you single for Beltane now?" And I honestly just gave both persons my infamous blank stare because I really didn't know how to answer.. I don't know?

Before I could even come on and actually try to bend to someone else's will, and being me, you can't pssibly have any idea how hard this is. He decides to email me to tell me he wants to analyze "what he wants from the relationship"...oh and that we should kinda go our seperate ways for awhile..

Being "floored" by this doesn't even begin to explain the slap in the face feeling I had. It slapped me right out the numbness I was still feeling from my grandfathers death not even two weeks ago.. and from quitting a job that was getting me nowhere..

And he decides to pull something like this.. NOW? The one time I need the most support. I can't remember the last time I've ever felt so abandoned in my life. I really can't.

I sat infront of my computer and cried more than I did at my grandfather's funeral. EVerything just hit me like a ton of bricks right in my face. I didn't even pick up the phone which rang five times in a row not long after this lovely email. WHich turned out to be Mik, who came to my house after I didn't pick up when he knew I was home.. to check on me, and found me in the most ridiculously pitiful state anyone has ever seen me in. And he got on his knees and he HUGGED me.

I have NEVER.. ever, in 20 years, had a man do that for me. On his knees, holding me. And he knew why I was balling like a friggin baby without even asking.

And I went out for almost two hours after that and had dinner with him after I finally had no more tears to cry and he waited for me to wash my face and change...

Why not?

My chest doesn't hurt anymore..

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Ashes to Ashes.. http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17943761/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17943761/ Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:18:42 PDT Â

Saturday:: The nurses call the house, he's developed pneumonia.

Monday:: Another call, his oxygen levels drop drastically, dangerously- 63. Ma's stays with him for the night.

Tuesday:: His oxygen levels rise alittle, he seems comfortable. We go home.

Wednesday, 4am:: Another call, no oxygen reading whatsoever, heart rate too high, non-responsive. The calls go out to family memebers.

Wednesday, 3:14 pm:: He finally goes, with a smile, his hand in mine goes lax. Neal and Jane fly in on non-stop flights from NV and FL, too late.

Rest of Wednesday- Friday:: Pass in a blur of funeral arrangements and contacting family members and freinds, four hours sleep total (occasional catnaps).

Saturday, 5 am:: Can't sleep, shower, ready for funeral by 6 am, arrive at St. Antoine's by 6:30 am, numbly survive through showing, 8 -10 am, make it through hour of Christian Mass. Casket finally closes and the tears finally come and don't stop til two hours later sitting alone in the chapel before luncheon at the villa.

Saturday, 3 pm:: BBQ at uncle Eric's, catnap til dinner, not hungry. Instead handed a Coke and Rum by Joey and told to rest in the backyard under the trees. Brought home by Aunt Sandra, catnap.

Saturday, night:: finally get back up with Coke and Rum, half eat a sandwich, go online and talk to Jon and check emails. Barely remembers goin to bed.

Sunday, 11am:: massive headache, went outside after long shower

Couldn't feel the sun or the supposedly abnormally warm breeze through the window, sitting here in jeans and sweater. The latte is ok, only thing I seem to want, now on third. Will soon have the jitters, but whatelse is new?

And my horoscope for Monday by AstroCenter.com::

Tomorrow, April 21, 2008
""Sometimes it is easier to bury your head in the sand, ostrich-like, rather than face up to the fact that you could be about to make a costly mistake. A square between the Moon and Neptune encourages you to see the possibility of a romantic disaster in the decision you are currently weighing in the balance. Make sure you really have your wits about you before you say yes. Don't leave it dangling until it's too late.""

I'm supposed to comprehend what now? WHAT wits? 127 IQ or not, I don't know my ass from my chair right now, or last night. The latter of which I feel like I didn't something too fuzzy to recall that I should apologize for..

*sigh*

Need another latte

]]> =DarkIndigoChild From Gold to Black http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17819555/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17819555/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 18:51:48 PDT Â

Watching a storm roll in from the South, wishing I was down there instead of up here, sipping hot coffee and sitting on the covered porch with my digital camera sitting on the banister beside me.

By now the giant clouds have turned the sunset sky black and I can hear the distant rumbles getting closer.

I've always loved thunderstorms, odd as I am to some, storms have always had an almost calming effect on me. The louder the thunder and the brighter the lightening, the better.

Almost like the storm is venting my pent up frustrations for me. 'Cause I can't...

]]> =DarkIndigoChild April Yay? http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17637209/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17637209/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:05:00 PDT Â

Heyas.

Thankfully no one played any odd tricks on me, despite today being the dreaded April Fool's Day. On the flipside, today was alittle gloomy- but the temp was wonderful, very spring. ^^ Nice and warm, only wish the sun had been out to accompany it. Tomorrow will be sunny, only alittle cooler.

Summer applications are filled out and mailed for those that need to be mailed. Guess I'll see what happens by the end of the week?

While waiting for that, also waiting for the buds to start blooming. Which will hopefully begin in the next couple of weeks. I miss seeing some green life around here, not to mention I'm tired the gloomy weather. Where the hell did the sun go, eh?

Well... that much closer to summer ^^

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Ostera and Spring http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17425710/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17425710/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:32:21 PDT Â

As both are here, happy to those who celebrate. St. Patty's Day has come and gone, fun as always- now Easter is coming for again, those who celebrate. I don't, just Ostera- which is the Spring Equinox. ^^

Yeah, Spring is finally here and apart from the slight overcast clouds it feels kinda nice out. Hopefully the next few weeks will bring warmer breezes and green life. I can already spy buds on trees. Good.

A few pics added, and in the next week or so I'll bring the cam with me to capture some of Spring as it rolls in. Plus filled out a bunch of applications- and not all of them are remotely local- will explain more when and if the peeps hiring call me back. So, a few things to look forward to. Not so bored now

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Happy St. Patty's Day http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17365810/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17365810/ Sun, 16 Mar 2008 15:37:02 PDT Â

To all you Irish peoples (and non-irish) out there on dA. Be proud and wear Green!! ^^

Going to Boston for the day, for the parade and lunch with the fam. Wish it was Spring already still. *sigh* Almost there, hoping by the Beginning of April the weather will start getting better. Would be greatly appreciated. Heh

Days have been pretty uneventful lately, hopefully St. Patty's Day, Spring Equinox and Eatser will switch things up alittle, eh?

Still looking up a different job for the warmer weather, grama has given me two options added to the ones I found already to think about. And I'm already leaning towards one. And both would let me go abroad abit, too. Hmmm. We'll see what happens in the next few weeks.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Purging Demons and Calling Spring http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17179302/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17179302/ Tue, 04 Mar 2008 12:22:13 PST Â

My demonic cold is almost gone, and the demonic part is anyways- still sound abit nasally though -_-; But atleast I can breathe again ^^ Yay

Apart from recovering for the whateverthehellthisiscold? I started looking for another PT job. Really do wanna keep it PT as the warmer weather and sun is coming in the weeks ahead with Spring officially just a few weeks away (which will hopefully make it warm up abit, eh? I want some GREEN!!) and then after that in the Fall I'll have classes at CCRI again. With this Fall and next Spring finishing up the finally transfer credits so I can get the hell out of here. No more PT classes, I wanna get this done and over with so I can say, Goodbye NE! So, I'll just have to suck it up and put my head back in the books. Oh joy.

But yeah.

Speaking of warmer weather, the past two days have been nice in temp, around 50-60F during the day and high 40s ish at night. Only a tease of Spring. Damn yous. But its a nice change to the freeze your ass of weather we've been getting. Alittle cloudy and gloomy, but nice to be able to wear a sweater and not be all bundled up to walk out side. Nice. With most of the Spring cleaning pretty much done in advance, with the nice weather coming all we have to do it throw open the windows and air out the house. Plus with that there should be some more pics coming, sooner rather than later I'm hoping. Have one or two to throw up some time this week, too. Plus I've also bought some more sketch pads and I've started to practice my sketching again. Might add them to Scraps some time in the future... I always seem more inspired by warmer weather, AND breathe better. Yack. Maybe with Spring I'll get rid of this cold AND some inner demons?

Should stop by the DH chat tonight or tomorrow, too- slacked off last week, must go say Hi

Spriiinnnnggg! Hurry up.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Demon Colds and PT Jobs http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17116736/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/17116736/ Fri, 29 Feb 2008 20:36:41 PST Â

Yayo!

And the week is finally over. And I feel like crap. Coming down with something, not sure what, but hey- it is Flu season. I spooked Max and Em last night as I coughed and tried to clear my throat (which hurt like an s.o.b.) and I ended up laughing in mid coughing attack which made me sound like some demonic entity. which only made me laugh even more which only made it worse. Yah geeez

Apart from the Demonic Cold of mine, work is slow and that frustrates me- which makes me restless. Spring is so close but still seems so far away. I want more sun, more warm breezes and I want to see some green LIFE out there somewhere. Damnit. This grey monotony is starting to make me squirm. I hate winter.

Soon I'll be looking for another PT job though- something more.. summery? With the weather soon to warm up (hopefully) -_-; I don't want to be cooped up all day, ya know? Most summer job are from May til october anyways. So I'll start looking come March/April. And those jobs usually let you go on vacations, or so I've experienced.

But I'm still alive so I can't really complain all that much. So yeah.

Ever been in a crowded room and felt completely alone?

Ever sat down with supposed loved ones and suddenly.. feel left out or total rejected?

Have you ever felt.... forgotten?

Like you missed something?

Because suddenly, its feels like that. Don't ask me why, because I can't even explain it to myself.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Hell yeah http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16946848/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16946848/ Mon, 18 Feb 2008 13:45:17 PST Â

Hello again.

Again on a better note than usual, as the three Stooges I live with have gone down to the Cape for the week. *sigh*

Breath of Freedom.

I know a week is short, but alittle is better than none at all. No whining, or complainging or bitching or HighHoHitler from MissWickedBitchoftheEast. Gods, yay. Thank youuuu.

So, I can come and go as I please, and pretty much whatever I want. Not planning anything remotely illegal, just......... less restrictive. Feels like the chains have loosened just for abit. Mm.

I think I like their "family" vacas. And my choice not to go, as the Cape is one of the most boring places I have ever been to. Sorry to Cape dwellers, but that's how I feel. Day trips are fine but a week in East Falmouth? Please.

Spare Me.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild MEH! http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16791198/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16791198/ Fri, 08 Feb 2008 20:07:32 PST Â

'scuse me, but:

I FUCKING HATE NEW ENGLAND WINTERS!! IT'S FUCKING COOOOOOLLLD DAMNIT!

*sob*

Ok, all done.

Really though. Gods do I wish I could just pack up and move down south. Have to wait.

Please.

Someone give me the gift of Patience. I wasn't born with it and I'm yet to learn.. >.>

DH:

--- You know.. it's kindof a pity the DH chat isn't open on the weekends per se. Total bummer.

Almost done Dream Chaser, more than half way. Cool new charries ^^ Me likes Jaden!

]]> =DarkIndigoChild 19 vs 20 http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16720073/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16720073/ Mon, 04 Feb 2008 08:48:46 PST Â

Heyooss!

Sun Sign-Aquarius/Moon Sign-Leo/Rising Sign-Gemini= Yikes o.0

Since 11:30am yesterday, February 3rd, I have officially turn 20. Aka, no longer under 18 but still not hold enough to hold a Coors Light at SuperBowl parties, which tend to be ridiculously amusing without the alcohol. Lol

Honestly? I really don't feel any different than when I actually turned 18. Sad? Or just typical. No miraculous transformation or anything. Just me, same shit, different day. *snorts* Atleast until I can move out and finally breathe a lung full of Freedom. >.>

Hmm, but with my 20 bday seems to come a decision about college now that I can find the means to move out. Seeing as I'm currently in General Studies Program, Grama and Pepe think seeing as about half way there already- maybe I should stay a few more semesters and just get my Associates degree before I head down to NOLA. Which would make getting a good paying full time job alittle easier, making supporting myself and whoeverelse also alittle easier. She also wants me to stay alittle and work some and save- so when I DO go down, I'll have alittle to live off of until I can find a job and not be totally broke. That means I'd have to stay here atleast on more year. Hmmm. Grama and gramps make a good argument. But. I think the only way I could possibly accomplish this without loosing my mind would be to A.) first move out and see where I go from there and B.) make sure I go to Mardi Gras every Feb til I can actually get down there. Both to give me some New Orleans is my life AND break up winter monotony. I hate NE winters. Ugh.

I'm going to give myself til April to decide and make the final decision. You peeps are welcome to give your opinions.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Better, for the moment http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16640572/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16640572/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:35:31 PST Â

RAWR!

K. I'm back. For the moment. Let's see how long this lasts, eh?

With my 20th bday fast approaching I'm getting the ridiculouly restless feeling. Like I reeeeaaalllyy should be doing SOMETHING or be SOMEWHERE... that is neither this nor here. Ever get that feeling? Seems to happen daily, and quite often throughout the day. Sometimes I get entire days where everything and nything feels ..so... wrong?

*sigh*

Yeah. Yay. Peachy.

Other than that, work is slow and the situation with Ma and Max is fucking driving me crazy. But again, what the hell else is new? CHyarrr.

Tis rainging right now, cause otherwise I would have gone out with the camie and taken so pics today, but it'll have to wait til the weekend. Which is also the weekend Chris is taking me to the Bike Expo in Boston again. ^^ One thing to look forward to in the near future. Saturday he said. Aye aye. Sunday is the bday AND the Superbowl. -_-; Yeah yeah. Going to Uncle Eric's to say hi, since he invitied us- particularly me.

*shrug*

I think I can last til the weekend.

I hope.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Oh Yay -_-; http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16584508/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16584508/ Sat, 26 Jan 2008 16:42:30 PST Â

Frustated with the woman I live with who claims to have given birth to me. More rather, most often than not I want to kill her by strangling, throw her in front of a bus or call the closest sniper. I dead serious. We could not be more un-alike than anyone I know. She is the very BANE of my existance!!!

She's currently not in the house, for how long I get this small reprieve I'm not sure- hence why some of you may notice I'm not on MSN. Cause the minute I see her pull up the comp shuts off. Aka, no time for "bye".

She has it in her brain that I spend too much time on the computer, as she one of the most old fashion geezers I know. And she's only 40. Figured that one out, eh? SOoo she's fobid me, almost miss 20 is about a weekish, from going on the comp for a week. Atfirst I thought she was joking, and I actually did laugh at her- she meant it. She's fucking insane. I spend a few hours on a day if that- is its usually at night, when most of my FRIENDS are on. And she doesn't have any. I'm not kidding. She has co-workers but they never ask her to go out with them on Friday nights for a drink or call her on the weekends to go shopping. All she has is Max, a two timing guy she WORKS with. yeah- dating coworker. Doesn;t she realize that if things don;t work out she still has to SEE the guy?

Fuckin' DUH.

But what the hell else is new. Oh.

Yeah.

Chris is moving closer to us, aka under 10 miles away. So mayhaps moving will occure sooner. All the better.

Gods help me.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Creeping to a Crawl http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16359504/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16359504/ Fri, 11 Jan 2008 15:27:26 PST Â

Heyas.

Work has finally quieted down abit more as the Holiday Season has finally left us. But now I have to look forward to the dreary grey of January and February. I can't wait until Spring, to see buds and some life outside again. I miss seeing green. Oh, and tax stuff will come in soon. Oh joy.

And with that, I'll be applying for Federal Financial Aid around spring, early summer for UNO. Oh yay for New Orleans. Warmth. Love that stuff. And that city has plenty of it. ^^ And no, I don't mind the occasional hurricane, call me stupid.

Been spending some time in Photoshop otherwise, so I might have some new stuff to throw up by next week-ish. Planning to upgrade to the newer verson of Photoshop CS3 through the online store. Max showed me how, so maybe by February I can have that once I get taxes out of the way. Mmm, coolies. Plus I need to go back to ACMoore and get some more supplies, I haven't really practiced skecthing seriously for awhile now. Just random sketching and doolding. Going to change that.

So for the moment, life is quiet. Hopefully my life will reawaken alittle more with spring.

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Still alive #2 http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16317665/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16317665/ Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:28:45 PST Â

Stolen from parts of

s Journal ^^ Continuing...

Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler. (on occasion)
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something (specify please?)
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[ ] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I've cheated on a test
[ ] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[] I've smoked weed
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic. eat and exercise
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying.

Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[x] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.
[ ] I cut myself

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs. (ew, fuck no)
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. (no, but I know a few who do)
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie or Aeropostale.
[ ] I love Gamers magazines
[ ] buy the newspaper everyday

]]> =DarkIndigoChild Belated-ness http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16124357/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/16124357/ Sun, 30 Dec 2007 09:30:23 PST Â

Happy Yule and Merry Christmas, alittle belated but better late then never? Been alittle busy with the holiday seasons, and thankfully their coming to a close soon. I really don't mind the holidays- but working around this time is just downright scary. Expecially in retail. Customers are total assholes. Having been the one behind the conuter in the past, I always make sure to atleast be polite and understanding to cashier peeps. It's only fair. They are human, too. they are only payed minimum wage to cater to you retail needs, not kiss your ass like royaly. Remember that next time you go buy something.

On another note, I spent Christmas Eve with Missy and her gang. We went last minute shopping and then I stayed over to help set up for the party which I stayed for as well. Funfun. Left late. Missy has a new boyfriend, Steve, he rocks. Big guy, too. >.> Her divorce from John the Dickwod is pending, and she has a restraining order on him as well. Go Missy.

CHristmas was here at the house with the family. Uncles and Aunt with their kids and grandparents and great grandparents and older cousins all came and stayed for dinner and a couch screaming episode of Sports on TV. Dinner was good, everyone helped and for once- no one argued.

Shocking. But memorable. ^^

And Happy 2008 ahead of time, if I don't get to come back on by then. See y'all soon!

UPDATE:: I recently recieved a letter from the Office of Admissions of University of New Orleans asking if I was still seriously interested in coming for Fall 2008 and informing that I can enroll at anytime. So of course I emailed back saying that I will soon be filing for Finanical Aid as soon as tax info comes in and I will be offically enrolling this Spring for next Fall. And got an email back that they'd be glad to set up contacts and stay in touch if I need assistance. Coolies. On a roll peeps. That just made my day. Besides Jon's arguement of fugly genius or sexy moron. ^^

UPDATE #TWOooo:: New Year's Eve I am being bullied into another party at Missy's, not sure if I'll stay til midnight but hopefully I can come on earlier and say Heys to everyone. New Year's Day is spent with family, as somehow (don't ask when it started or how) our family traditions is chinese food ^^ So I might be on later in the evening. Over and Out!

]]> =DarkIndigoChild White World http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/15918122/ http://DarkIndigoChild.deviantart.com/journal/15918122/ Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:44:26 PST Â

And the world is looks as though covered in a thick layer of powdered sugar as the first of Winter's snow storms reaches us today, starting around 12pm and has been steadily snowing ever since. From where I sit by the window it looks like a foot of snow so far, maybe more. And its supposed to snow more as the night goes on according to the Weather Channel.

Not sure if I'm going to work tomorrow. If I do I might have to be late, as we'll most likely have to shovel out the door, and the walkway to the drive way and then shovel out the cars, which- between myself and Max, could take about an hour or so. Plus having to drive there with the roads like they are, might take another hour to get to work. So that would make me two to three hours late. What's the point in going? >.>

Not sure. We'll see what tomorrow brings. For now it's movies and hot cocoa, occasionally going to the window to check the snow falls.

By next week Winter will officially be here, with the Solstice a week away. Then its to endure another four months of frostbite weather.

Oh Lovely. -_-;

]]> =DarkIndigoChild