http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:DeadPandaDesigns&section=today deviantART RSS for by:DeadPandaDesigns en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 30 Nov 2009 10:18:04 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/27862600/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/27862600/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:38:03 PDT


I dont have anything set up just yet, but Im going to have some new stuff up soon. Maybe even a lot of photos and of course new drawings. : )

Note: I didnt notice this until just a bit ago, but I misspelled Silver in the user name. I should have checked that before, but didnt. Sorry peoplez!! D:

Well, that's all I believe. I have to work on my new account and draw new things for it. :3

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/27368601/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/27368601/ Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:09:39 PDT Sooooft.

Really, Im just bored and I havent been here in a while so I thought I would at least update my journal since I dont have any art. Which sucks cause I need to upload something cause I havent in almost like what? A YEAR?? o..0;; Sad, right?

Anyway, the update is that Im doing well and Im still trying my best to get by in life. Yeah, thats it. :3

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/26848177/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/26848177/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:38:00 PDT . >;; Which is kind of scary. Specially since he says that he wants to marry me. The thing is... I dont see myself with him for much longer. He is really nice, but I just dont feel that deeply for him. Everyone though, is telling me that we look so good together and that we make the perfect couple... I just dont see it though. I dont feel it...

Here is another thing... I have feelings now for someone I didnt notice for the past 5 years... He is one of my closest friends and Im not sure why it is just now that Im feeling something for him. I know that he would take a bullet for me... He has ALWAYS been there in the shadows looking after me too... He told me that he tried to go out with me before, but I dont remember him asking anything like that... But then again... I dont remember most of yesterday. > . >;; Only that I went to school and then went over to his house and stayed there for the night. (No! It's not what you think! I dont believe in sex before marriage.) We had watermelon!! : o It was good too!

Anyway, Im just not sure what to do right now. If you think you can help then do give me some advice. *nods*


In other news:
Im thinking of picking up on doing charms for money. I have always wanted to do them, but never got around to doing them. They are super cute and I know lots of otaku that would like to buy some. ^ ^

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/26683952/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/26683952/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:38:49 PDT
School:
I guess I just havent found my path. You know what I mean? I tried going through Fashion first and right now Im trying Graphic Design and soon I will be trying Cosmetology. Im very sure that I will make it through this one. Hey! Im only 20 so I have a while before I have to get really serious about life... Besides, for four years I kept myself in my room. I was hiding for no reason and so Im making up for lost time. lol

Grandma:
She is up there in age and so her body is giving out. Ok, dont get me wrong, Im sure that I love her deep down someplace, but I wish she would die quickly. She is suffering and so is the family. They are doing all they can to keep her comfy and keeping up with their own lives. I just stay out of the way 'cause, when she does die, I know their is going to be a huge fight about who gets what and who doesnt get what. Im just not into that kind of fighting. *sighs* Oh well. More power to the idiots of my family.

Job:
I need one. What else can I really say? I do know of this one place that is hiring. I just need to take in the application. :3 So other than all that, Im doing so well and Im in a very gooooooood mood.

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25881822/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25881822/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 14:44:19 PDT
Today, I was on MySpace and I was on one of my close friends' profiles and she had this as her quote,

"There Comes A Point In Your Life When You Realize Who Matters, Who Never Did, Who Wont Anymore, And Who Always Will. So Dont Worry About The People In Your Past, Theres A Reason Why They Didnt Make It To Your Future."

I can't help but to think that this is the truest statement I have ever read in my life. It's a quote I thought I should share with everyone here and Im going to be doing some art that will be surrounded with this kind of theme.

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25685829/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25685829/ Thu, 02 Jul 2009 00:24:13 PDT
I came back to live with my mother and now Im just reminded why I left... Im going to try and stay here a while longer though, and once I graduate college, Im heading for Texas the first chance I get... That is where I belong... Or maybe I just dont belong anywhere... That must be it. I just dont belong. And if that is the case, why do I exist? Am I just a sick joke? The extra piece of a complete puzzle? Where I am right now...is not where I belong...

This joke doesnt make me smile....

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25597045/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25597045/ Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:25:53 PDT That money was going to last me the two weeks that I have to drive from my hometown to where I work. Plus, I missed my friend's birthday party... *sighs* I feel so bad, but right after she called and asked if I was coming, my mom called me and told me to come straight home. Mom was pissed at me cause I blew my first paycheck. *shifty eyes* I had right to do so though. I mean, for the past year I have been cooped up in that apartment with no friends, no internet, no phone, no cable, no radio and no job. I think that with me being back in my hometown with all my friends I have a little right to blow all my money on what I want for once. *sighs* It's whatever though. It isnt like she can ground me. Im 20 years old and I can drive. Which is what I did. I drove away from her sorry butt and hid away for a while. I was tempted to not come home and to stay away. > .. >;;

I love my mother though and she was right. I should have put that money in my bank account(so I wouldnt lose the money) and I should have saved more than what I did for gas when I go to and from work. So, Im going to be smart with with my next check which should be around $490? Damn I love having a job. lol

Ja mata ne!

Oh, and Amber, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!~~~ Im going to make it up to you.

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25349172/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25349172/ Tue, 16 Jun 2009 10:27:44 PDT .. >;; Is that good or bad? *shrugs*

Im so pissed at the guy that I like so Im not talking to him until my party. > x < He said to me that he cared, but I see now that he just wants to lie. > . >;; No wonder his ex broke up with him. lol That was mean of me to say. : (

I have lots of drawings to show everyone, but...I dont have time to scan them, fix them up and upload them. - _ -;; Im a bad kid... I know. I'll try to get them up soon though.

Hm...what else is there? Oh! I like my job, and Im having fun with it. The people I work with are funz. x3 LOL So Im pretty happy with that. : )

Im moving on the 23rd so Im taking the 23 and 24 off from work. Then I get paid on the 25th. Then on the 26th is my party. :3 Im going to wear the CUTEST fucking dress in the whole FUCKING world. :33333 It makes me happy. x3 *squeels with JOY* And it's a WAL-MART dress too. o,0; Who would have thought. lol

Anyway, Im doing well. : )

Ja ne!

+Apple+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25076134/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/25076134/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:29:43 PDT
Im not unhappy with this. Im actually very excited. I mean, who wouldnt be happy to be working right now, right? Im just so happy that I want to die. lol That doesnt work though. I cant die just yet. I have so much going for me now. Its a temporary job at wal-mart cause they are doing a HUGE remodel right now. *shifty eyes* Other than this job, there are other things that are good.

List of good things happening:

1.I have a job
2.I have a photoshoot this Saturday and again in 3 more weeks
3.I have a family picnic comming up(also on Saturday)
4.I have a car so I can go places when I need to
5.I dont have to pay a $50,000 hospital bill
6.Im moving back home on June 23
7.When I move back home I wont have to pay rent
8.I wont have rent so I will have $400 + my paycheck of about $250(bi weekly pay)
9.I have someone that Im super in love with and we talk on the phone almost every night x3
10.I get to take my mom out to dinner for her birthday this year and help her with paying bills
11.Help my sister with her "things"
12.I will be able to afford my very own Lolita dress and other things I want
13.I will be able to get my friends things that they want when we go shopping if they cant afford it themselves.


Ok...That's all. xD Im just SOOOOOOOOOO super happy right now. :3 Im going to work SUPER hard and do my best at everything.

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24614043/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24614043/ Wed, 06 May 2009 07:23:02 PDT
I got out of the hospital just yesterday because I had a gallbladder stone stuck where it didnt need to be which gave me Pancreatitis... So I had to wait in the hospital for DAYS so that my Pancreas calmed down so they could take my gallbladder out... My tummy is really really hurting. I can barely walk. xD It's all good though. Im in my hometown for a little while. My mom is super worried about me now and just wants me to be close for a bit while I heal. Im still alive though which makes me happy. ^ ^ Even with the pain. lol Great, right? lol Im making no since right now cause Im on pain meds. The good kind. :3

That is all I have to report at this time. :3

Ja ne
+Apple+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24462977/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24462977/ Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:10:57 PDT
They gave me some ani-biotics, Pepcide and some Percocets. I dont like to take drugs... The Percocets make me sick to my stomach... I dont like being sick... It makes me feel worthless and it reminds me about my Dad. He ODed on drugs. Im not going to do the same, but drugs still make me sick...


I just want some really good news right now...

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24411049/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24411049/ Fri, 24 Apr 2009 13:28:31 PDT
Im not really sure where my relationship with Nikk is going. He still has a thing for his ex. Even though I know he does(We are very honest with each other. The way I like it), Im still with him. Or at least I think I am? Im not sure. Im starting to think that Im in over my head, but there is a part of me that feels things will be ok. Im an optimistic person so Im going to stay with him for as long as I can. Maybe after the 3rd things will get better.


This is for AMBER. You know who you are.

DO NOT TELL ANYONE!!~
This June, Im moving back home. Im just going to comute back and forth to school. I talked to mommy about it already and she is find with it. Im serious about not telling anyone. Not even your mother!!~

*sighs* Anyway, I think Im going to leave it at that. - _ -;; Im still worried that my pain from last night is going to come back... It sucks being me right now....

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24349682/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24349682/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:58:09 PDT
[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee.
[ ] You keep track of dates using a calendar.
[ ] You own a credit card.
[x] You know how to change the oil in a car.
[x] You've done your own laundry.
[x] You can vote in an election.
[x] You can cook for yourself.
[ ] You think politics are interesting.

TOTAL SO FAR: 5


[ ] You show up for school late a lot.
[x] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket.
[ ] You've never gotten a detention.
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday.
[x] You like to take walks by yourself.
[x] You know what credibility means, without looking it up.
[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week.

TOTAL SO FAR: 9


[x] You know how to do the dishes.
[x] You can count to 10 in another language.
[ ] When you say you're going to do something you usually do it.
[x] You can mow the lawn.
[ ] You study even when you don't have to.
[x] You have hand washed a car before.

TOTAL SO FAR: 13


[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up.
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name.
[x] Your favorite kind of food is take out.
[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need.
[x] You understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[x] You can type pretty quick.

TOTAL SO FAR: 18

[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment.
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party.
[x] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are
over the age of 25 and have a job.
[x] You have more bills than you can pay.
[x] You have been to the beach.
[x] You use the internet every day.
[ ] You have been outside of the united states 3 or more times.
[x] You make your bed in the morning.

TOTAL: 23

*** Repost this with the subject as: I'm (how old you are) but I act (what you got on the test)
*** The number of people you have to tag is the number you got on the test.

I tag whoever wants to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24219656/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24219656/ Mon, 13 Apr 2009 12:22:29 PDT
Anyway, I met this really nice guy last week and now we are talking. I know it isnt the coolest thing to meet guys on the internet, but I thought I would give it a try. Now that I have a car(and looking for a job) I wont be so embarrasesed now. I mean, what guy doesnt want a girl who can take care of herself? I know I would want that. lol

I better get going though. It's about to come a storm and I still need to talk to Job service so they can help me find a job. - _ -;; Wish me luck!!

+Apple+
♥

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24179620/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24179620/ Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:40:03 PDT
Today Im here to check my emails and then go look for a job. I need to work. I need to start saving as much money as I can so I can move out of my apartment. > . >;; I dont like it there. It's not worth the money Im paying for it. So, at the end of June, Im leaving the place and moving to the ghetto. I b po yo. Besides, I feel more at home in the ghetto. I dont know why, but I guess it's the way I was brought up? Oh well. xD It's cheap living so I can save my money on more important things. Just hope when I get those things they arent stolen from me. xDDDDDD

Tomorrow is Easter. A good day to relax and finish my homework for Monday. Yay for color wheels! Has anyone else noticed that Easter is Faster with and E? o,0; Just a bit-o-randomness there for you. xD

Anyway, Im having a good time with my 93' Chevy Blazer. :3 Good times. Good times. lol So yeah, Im gone to find a job. See ya latterz.

+Apple+
♥

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24057272/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/24057272/ Sat, 04 Apr 2009 11:59:43 PDT _ > It was the bitch giving the test's fault....

OK, so it was my fault. I just need more practice. It's just she made me nervous and that sent me into panic mode. - _ -;;

EDIT: I took the test again and now I have my Driver's ID. Nothing too special about it though. : / Now I can have a job hopefully.


In other news:
I go back to school this Monday. I have:

Color Theory: Mon. @ 8:30am - 2:00pm
Digi Imaging 1: Tues. @ 8:30am - 2:00pm
Drawing 2: Fri. @ 8:30am - 2:00pm

They are all morning classes. Thank goodness. That one night class really pissed me off. Walking 6 miles in the dark that one night did not settle with me well. *sighs* That leaves the rest of my time finding a job.

And I hope that when I get home I find all of my things in one piece the way I left it all. I would really hate to get into a fight with my roommate about how she will pay for what is broken and the respect she should have had for my things.

That's all for right now.

+Apple+
<3

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23955415/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23955415/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:01:37 PDT

Im going back...back to who I was...who I am on the inside. Im going to change. Im going to change back into the me I was four years ago. That was when I was happy with myself... That was before I was Apple Sparck. Im going to keep my name because it represents who I am now and forever. I just dont look the part of who I am. Not anymore.

So it's time I go back to who I am now. Because I've noticed that I dont draw as much as I used to and I need my art...

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23922748/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23922748/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 19:04:59 PDT Earth Hour Info: [link]


March 28, 2009 8:30 for an hour you should cast your vote to prevent global warming.

How?:
For one(1) hour switch off all of your lights between 8:30 to 9:30 Central Time.

Why?:
To show that you don't want global warming. Show the government that you want a healthy Earth in the future for your children and your children's children and so forth!! The future is a treasure to be protected!!!

When?:
March 28, 2009 From 8:30pm to 9:30pm

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23818477/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23818477/ Sat, 21 Mar 2009 17:35:07 PDT
I got to talk to a friend of mine too so that helped me take my mind off the pain until the pills kicked in. I slept until 6pm. It was good, but that also means that I didnt get to finish the house work. I got the bathroom, kitchen and a little bit of the back room done. Mommy came home and did the living room. I felt kind of bad cause yesterday was my birthday and I got what I wanted that day so I wanted to do something nice for her. - _ -;;

For my birthday I got to drive my truck. It was fun. Now I just need to take the test to get my driver's ID. : 3 After that Im a free bird!!!!

Tonight, we are having fish for supper. MY FAVORITE!!! I cant wait. I havnt ate much today. :3 So im going to go eat.

JA MATTA NE!~

+Apple+
<3

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23801295/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23801295/ Fri, 20 Mar 2009 17:44:53 PDT DONT return the clothes or wig he was waring, the eyes he had in his head then we have a problem. Not to mention, there was a modified Angelica head that they gave me before I went off to college. I dont mind the head even though they said they dont want to be in BJDs anymore? It's whatever! Just give my stuff back and I wont beat the hell out of your sorry, cheating, bullshit looking face. I will fight a bitch for what is mine damnit...


*sighs* I think Im ok now. Just as soon as I get my stuff back.

List of BJD things:
Wig
Clothes
Eyes

I dont give a damn about the head anymore. I dont have a body for it anyway. 9 _ 9

So yeah, Im not very happy right now and I dont have anyone to talk to. FUCK!!! For fucking sake, I wish I had checked the bag BEFORE they had left. Fucking asshole!!!! Just wait til I see them again. Im one scary bitch when Im pissed.



+Apple+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23796568/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23796568/ Fri, 20 Mar 2009 13:07:18 PDT


Yes, today is my birthday and I am 20. I dont mind, but next year my sister plans to get me drunk and getting me arrested. > . >;; Sorry, but that wont happen. xD Thats going to break her heart. lol Yesterday, I watched Repo! and I loved it. There i nothing better to make it a happy birthday than a good movie filled with guts being pulled out of live people. :3 It makes meh happiez.

Speaking of my sister...she wanted to go to Bannaroo...does anyone here know how much tickets are??? $250 + other fees... What the hell was she thinking? When I told her, she kind of freaked out. I dont think we are going. > . >;;


Well, a friend of mine whom I go to school with drew a self portrait and in the background was a book that was titled "Love Craft". I asked them about it and now Im rather interested. So Im starting on the various books that are connected to this name. I have to say that this is a good birthday gift they have given me. : ) So, if they ever read this, THANK YOU! *huggles*


I think that is all for the day... It's time to open my gifts. : )

+Apple+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23775541/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23775541/ Thu, 19 Mar 2009 06:31:30 PDT
Well, that is all for now. I have to go get ready.

WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAMN-IT!!!! IM TURNING 20 TOMORROW!!!!



+Apple+
<3

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23762338/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23762338/ Wed, 18 Mar 2009 11:49:00 PDT New Doll: [link] $020/700

Im still looking for Commissions! If your interested then please commission me!~

Commission Info: [link]
(Updated weekly on Mondays)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sex is nothing to be embarrassed about. You shouldn’t be looked badly upon for making love to someone. Sex is just a chemical reaction within the body. Love…there in lies the real problem. When do you know your “in love” with someone? I ask myself that a lot. You can be sexually attracted to someone, but is that really love? In my opinion, it isn’t.

To me, love is having an interest in someone so deeply that you know what their next move will be before they do it. Just like a mother knows her child the best, your lover should know you just as well or at least try to know you as well. If you lose interest in that person then you never loved them in the first place. For example, I thought I was in love once. I had been with this one person faithfully for four years with plans to get hitched as it were. I had the image of the dress I wanted made, in what kind of setting and at exactly what time. (I wanted, and still want, a white dress with silver and blue beading and silver fairy wings, and be married in a very old grave yard at 12 midnight, while my husband to be wore AGL which is a vampire style of clothing. It’s hard to find a man willing to do something like that…very hard… ). For four years I had this dream in my head. Somehow though, this will never happen with that person, but I keep the dream alive still. The person I was “in love” with had other plans. When they broke up with me, they told me that they had lost interest a long time ago and only stayed with me to make me happy. Does the phrase, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you.” ring any wedding bells for some? It was horrible, but I must admit that I had lost interest in them too…after thinking of the kind of person they are. I was just so much into them that I didn’t see the warning signs of a failing relationship. That is why I will never say, “I love you.” to anyone outside of my family. I just can’t do that anymore. I’m not going to lie. I have someone of interest, but this time around I’m going to be cautious to the full extent. In all my time with anyone, I have been honest with them no matter whom they are, apart from the normal, “No, your nose fits your face” white lie... That isn’t going to change.

Ugh, the more I type the more I think of what I really want in a guy. Since I’m not into looks very much, I just want a guy that has deep interest in me. Sex is just the body. I need the mind and heart before that to know if I’m really in love. To be honest, I know of only ONE(1) guy that is a virgin and has the same moral as I do and he is going out with my roommate, who btw is a whore. > . >;; Yeah…I know that is strange. Lol

Anyway, I need some sleep….

+Apple+
♥

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23735083/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23735083/ Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:16:44 PDT New Doll: [link] $020/700

Im still looking for Commissions! If your interested then please commission me!~

Commission Info: [link]
(Updated weekly on Mondays)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


OMFG... I feel like soon my life will be on track. Im not going to push it, but I really cant wait for tomorrow. Yummy! I dont know why I just said yummy, but I did. lol Could it be that my birthday is this Friday or that Im turning the big 2-0? I dont know but somehting is really empowering me to move forward and to give it my all. Good news brings on a good feeling, right? That is what Im thinking.

Short list of good things:


-Im getting a car when I get home.

-I have a guy of SUPER interest looking my way ^ , ~ (not saying names yet until I know for sure).

-With a car comes the fear of driving and I love the feeling of fear like that(Im strange, I know).

-Im in a really good mood for dawing! LOL Which is good. I have a final project due this Wednesday...

-Im pretty sure that Kirk(best teacher ever) is gay. > . >;; You didnt hear that from me though.

-Im going to see Repo soon cuz Im cool like that. lol

-I IZ HAPPYZ!!!

That is all I can think of. Yay! Good night!!!!



+Apple+
♥

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23666592/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23666592/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 19:42:27 PDT
Really I just want to go home and not think of school. I am getting the chevy though. So YES! I wont have to think about how Im going to get to school anymore. Thank goodness, ne? Plus I can get a damn job. Fuuuuuuuuck...... *sighs* Thank you mommy!

Anyway, all in all, Im doing well. Im in my happy place. : 3

I have a lot to be happy about! x3


I IZ HAPPIEZ!!!

+Apple+
♥

....happy....

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23641874/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23641874/ Wed, 11 Mar 2009 11:54:16 PDT . >;;; Funnier than Demo. Yes. That funny!

I have a lot on my mind and so I really dont have anything to post but shirts right now. I so fail too. xD Im just good like that.

Talk to you all later!!!

+Apple Sparck+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23488209/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23488209/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 11:53:38 PST New Doll: [link] $020/700

Im still looking for Commissions and art trades! If your interested then please note me!~

Commission Info: [link]
(Updated weekly on Mondays)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Im very excited. Im going to be home for my birthday(March 20)! Im getting a car and I have money for my bills. The only thing missing right now is a job and my will power to do as Im told out side of class....

Im doing it again. Im screwing myself over for NO reason and I dont know why... I have some kind of mental block. I need to go to a doctor about this crappy CRAP. It is that damn homework! I have never been able to go home and do school related things unless Im at school and in class. In class Im fine, but the assignments....they are outside of school. I am going to fail for no reason but my own stupidity. Which is nothing to laugh about. I need mental help...

Other than that I dont have much news to tell... Im going to try and focus on my school work even if it fucking kills me.

Ja ne!~

+Apple+
♥

PS:
I have some things that I need to upload and I might do that on Wednesday this week. No promises. : 3

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23431900/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23431900/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 11:45:21 PST New Doll: [link] $020/700

Im still looking for Commissions! If your interested then please commission me!~

Commission Info: [link]
(Updated weekly on Mondays)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was thinking of doing some art trades and I didnt know what they really were at first, but now I do, thanks to . She is so helpful to explain to me how the art trades work. I wish to do two art trades a month. So if you are interested then please note me with the subject "Trade". This will be a fun experiance I hope. :3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wonderful mother is going to buy me a car soon. - , -;; It is much needed!~ I have been looking for one on the netz and I think I have found one to my liking! It is a 86' Honda Accord Lx AND it is just under my cost limit of $1,100(Car:$1,000). I am so thankful!~ Now I just need to contact the person show my interest in the car. The ad says it "runs strong" and that they have done $10,000 worh of work on it. We will see though... I must inspect it first hand before shelling out 1k. This month has been thebest month of my college life so far and it makes me eager to see what will happen next. : )



+Apple+


]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23366060/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23366060/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:36:45 PST
What I should be doing? -
Updating my FASFA - Done
Applying for more finacial aid
Doing my class prodject


What I am doing? -
Looking at Dev Art, Facebook, MySpace, Blogger, checking email, and looking up this one guy that I think is cute so I know he isnt a killer or something like that.


Poll:

Is it normal to google your crush or does it just make you a creep?

Normal?
Creep?

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23138438/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23138438/ Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:49:07 PST care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson.....just read this, it will
make a difference.....
...if only everyone could see this and understand it....


When she stares at your mouth
[ Kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you
[ Grab her and dont let go ]

When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]

When she's quiet
[ Ask her whats wrong ]

When she ignores you
[ Give her your attention ]

When she pulls away
[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she's beautiful ]

When you see her start crying
[Just hold her and dont say a word ]

When you see her walking
[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]

When she's scared
[ Protect her ]

When she steals your favorite hat
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she teases you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesn't answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she looks at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]

When she says that she likes you
[SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!!!]

When she grabs at your hands
[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]

When she bumps into you;
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tells you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]

When she says it's over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]

When she reposts this bulletin
[ she wants you to read it ]

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's
stupid.

- Give her the world

-when shes bored and sad, hang out with her

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the rain.

- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking baby?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :

Call you.....

Kiss you.....

Love you.......

Text you..........
Guys post as: "I'd be this Boyfriend.


"Girls post as: "A real Boyfriend"

Personal notes:

I think this is the cutes little thing. It makes you think of what kind of boyfriend you really want. I know most, if not all of the things listed above are true for me. I would love it if my boyfriend did them. :3

<3
+Apple+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23102348/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23102348/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 14:44:01 PDT New Doll: [link] $000/700

SLOTS OPEN
1.
2.
3.


Details:
THESE ARE THE ORIGINAL WORKS! Not prints.
All work is done on a scale of 11"x14" or 9"x12".
You are paying for a combination of supplies used and time taken.
If you do order a commission from me, PLEASE have the money in advance. I don't want to have the work done and not get paid...since that would just be wasteful. I accept Paypal ONLY.

How to Order:
Just send me a note with the subject: "Commission" and in the note leave me your commission idea as well as any references you can supply. After I have sketched out your idea I will send you a preview and you can give me your input then. After that I will ask for half of the payment. The other half I will ask for after the completion of the piece.

First come, first serve!

What I do:
- I do character portraits for $10-$15 (full color, from shoulders up.)

- Chibi Drawings $5-$10 (B&W or Full Color)

- For Full color character illustration with no Background the price would be $10-$15
($3 each for any additional characters and $5 for a background).

- And B&W character drawings are $5-$10 depending on the amount of detail that you
ask for.

If you have any questions, note me and I will update this journal with the answers.

Q&A:

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23019425/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23019425/ Thu, 05 Feb 2009 12:16:08 PST . >;; It feels good. xD

The only thing I have to do now is make a resume and hand it in so I can find a GOOD job. Gah! I wouldnt care if it was a job with pay as low as $5/hr. xP I just want to support myself and give my mom a break. <3 I love my mommy!~ She is the best!~

That's all for now though. Im going to go hide in my hole and ask people random questions that mean nothing in real life...it's fun. xD

Ja ne!!~

+Apple+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23003213/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/23003213/ Wed, 04 Feb 2009 13:52:01 PST New Doll: [link] $000/700 (I have a loooooong way to go for my new doll.)

Everything is good I guess. I have to make up some of my classes and still find a job so I dont have to ask mom for the money, like I did this month. *shame* I talked to one of my friends from high school just yesterday. It was good to talk to him cause I dont really know anyone from up here. lol He might be coming over tomorrow. : ) I hope so. I also talked to another friend that I havent talk to in almost FOREVER. lol She is having a baby girl soon and she is married. : 3 I am so happy for her. A lot of my friends are getting married and having babies. lol Im one of those people that are willing to wait a while so I know things will be stable. Not that thier lives are not stable, but I just dont want to move too quickly.

I guess that is all there is to say? lol

Ja ne!~

+Apple+

♥

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22979925/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22979925/ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 09:07:02 PST
I have found my next doll and when I get a job, Im going to put money aside so that I may have her. She is just PERFECT!

Here she is: [link]

Isnt she pretty! Just the right color skin too! She is a MUST have. After I get my other BJD back I can start taking pics of them as I save for my new girl. Im not sure what I will name her yet though. Something GOOD. : 3


Ok...that's it. : )

+Apple+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22979471/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22979471/ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 08:27:08 PST
WARNING TO ALL DA MEMBERS:

WARNING! A hacker is on a loose. If he/she hack your DA account, change your password(s).

vV Copy and paste this to your journal. Vv

DA Oddness abounds. If someone (especially a friend) comments on one of your Deviations (pictures) with a link that says "rofl this may be relevant to your interests" DO NOT CLICK ON IT! It will send you to a fake webpage that does not load, but somehow uses your account to quite randomly send the same comment link to other Deviations (pictures) that you never even visited. This of course makes the system think you're spamming and refuses to let you comment further and It can also apparently mess with your computer. Again, DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK!

MAKE A JOURNAL REPOSTING THIS STATEMENT! SPREAD THE WORD!

Be warned of the mentioned comment or others. In fact, if anyone links you to something and you're unsure of what the heck it is, ask the person first to know what they're sending to you. If they don't reply in a while it's most likely spam/hack. Don't click any link unless the person clears up what it is about.

Thank you for reading this & thank you if you decide to post this too. Knowledge is power. the more people who know about these things the better at least that's my opinion.






Update :

Not much is going on. If Im lucky then I will be working at a hotel. Yes. Im still looking for a job. I really need one. One reason is the money, but another is because I really WANT to work. It gets really lonesome when you are in an apartment all by yourself.

My sister is coming up to visit for a few days this week. I will be happy cause she is originally from this city and she can show me all of the temp companies here. I heard on the news last night of some places that will be hiring. I hope I can have a job before Feb. 14. And I dont mean next year! This is seriously a problem cause I dont have the money for my bills and so I have to borrow money from my mother who HARDLY has the money to pay HER bills. D: As soon as I do find a job then Im going to be sending money back to my mother and help her for a change. Um...other than that, Im getting over my cold, but I have some work I need to make up for my classes. I missed class yesterday. That really sucked cause I needed to talk to Kirk, my teacher, and ask him about the tests I have missed last week. TOTAL FAIL!! I really need to step up cause I have noticed that I cant fully live like I am now.

So, Im going to work on that aspect in my life while still looking for a job.


My regret for the year is quiting my job last year...

Wish me luck!!

+Apple+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22881334/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22881334/ Thu, 29 Jan 2009 08:29:51 PST

I uploaded art! I uploaded art!!

OMFG! I didn't this would ever happen. xD I mean, I haven't done this in a LOOOOOONG time. I ish le happy now.

Now that is out of the way. Let's move on to something funny...

My Ex got married.... Ok, not really funny, but I am happy about it. Even though,IMO, they should have waited. I'm not going to say anything though cause it's not my place to do that.

Good News! I might have a chance at a job. I'm going to check on it today. : 3 I just know that I have to type really fast and I already do that. xD Thanks to the Ex for keeping my up at all hours of the night IMing each other. Seriously, I couldn't type worth crap before then. ^ ^;; So wish me luck as I try my best!

I'm still sick, but that is ok.

*Random* OMFG!? I just saw a really cute guy... Why must I me so shy or, in some cases, I act all flipin' boyish... I guess it is to protect myself?? Why? IDK... > . >;;

Anyway, like I was saying. I'm still sick, but that is ok. The other night, my friend gave me $5 and so I was going to buy Ramen with it like I always to so I don't starve. As I was walking down there, I found $20!! I got a phone card, Ramen, a liter of cola, orenge juice, and a gal. of milk. It was so good to get something "real" to drink and not just water. Q A Q

So yeah, Im doing well. : ) Now I have to go.

+Apple+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22870600/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22870600/ Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:06:49 PST 's journal. I hope she/he doesnt mind(I'm positive it's a she). : o

Worth Meme...

Natural Hair Color:
[x] Brown - $100
[] Blonde - $50
[ ] Black - $15
[ ] Bald - $5
[ ] Other-$75

Total: $100


Eye Color:
[x] Brown - $50
[ ] Green - $75
[ ] Blue $150
[ ] Hazel $100
[ ] Other - $15


Total so far: $150

Height:
[ ] Over 7′ - $200
[ ] 6′8″ to 7′ - $175
[ ] 6′0″ to 6′7″ - $150
[ x] 5′5″ to 5′11″ - $75
[ ] 5′4″ to 5′10″ - $85
[] Under 5′4 - $27


Total so far: $225


Age:
[ ] 50 to 56 - $175
[ ] 46 to 50 - $150
[ ] 41 to 45 - $125
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[x] 19 to 20 - $25
[ ] 0 to 18 - $100


Total so far: $250


Birth Order:

[ ] Twins or more than twins - $750
[] First Born - $320
[ ] Only Child - $250
[ ] second born - $150
[ ] Middle child - $100
[ x] Last Born - $100
[ ] third born - $550
[ ] fourth born - $300
[ x] fifth born - $400
[ ] sixth born -$215

Total so far: $750

Drink?
[] I did like twice - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[ x] Sometimes - $215
[ ] YES - $200
[ ] only weekends - $300
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$
[ ] No - $600


Total so far: $955

Vision?
[x] perfect vision $400
[ ] need or have glasses/contacts but dont wear them $200
[ ] No correction $100
[ ] Glasses $50
[ ] contacts $25
[ ] Surgical correction -$100

Total so far: $1355

Shoe Size:
[ ] 13+ - $300
[ ] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
[x ] 11 to 12 - $400
[] 7 to 10 - $500
[ ] Under 7- $450

Total so far: $1755

Favorite Colors (two):
[ ] Green-$750
[ ] Red - $600
[] Black - $100
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $300
[] Purple - $225
[ x] White - $400
[ ] Aqua - $350
[ ] Orange - $300
[ ] Blue - $300
[x ] Pink - $100
[ ] Other - $500

Total: $2255

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[] Yes $0 – fuck you I am an ARTEEEEST.
[x ] Nope - $1000
[ ] some- $750

Final Total: $3255

Repost with the title:

"I cost $______ a night"

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22822070/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22822070/ Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:47:15 PST
This year is the year of the Cow/Ox! Im going home early today and draw something for the ocassion. ^ , ^ I like cows. xD They taste good with katchup. : 3

Anyway, Mana has my dolls and Im going to get them back around the end of March. I trust Mana to take care of my dolls until she gives them back to me. ^ ^

I have a cold and I went to my first class for the day, but I dont think I will for my second class. I just dont feel that well. I mean, I would have to wait here until 5:40 and then get out of class around 11 at night. That is just too much. I still havent found a job, but Im working on that. : ( Wish me luck?

Other than that, Im doing just fine.

Ja ne!

+Panda+
♥

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22730494/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22730494/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 11:16:38 PST
Ok, that is the good news. On to the bad....
My camera...it broken. It's a digital one with a screen on the back. Someone(probably me?) stepped on it and the screen is broken now. It's ok. I mean, it still takes photos and there is a little bit of the bottom of the screen that shows so I know what Im taking a picture of, but that just goes to show that I need to take BETTER care of my things. Im going to start doing that now. ; - ; Poor Cam-chan... Im gonna draw a pic for the poor thing. It has served me so well these past few years!

Anywho, with all that, Im so happy that I can get on dA! Im going to work super hard with my new tablet. Speaking of(again), here is a picture of the box that I just took. : )

[link]

I wish it didnt show up as a link though. : o Oh well, it is better than nothing, right?

+Panda+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22719539/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22719539/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:53:05 PST
I still dont have a job, but I AM looking. No one has called me back and so Im thinking of doing some freelance drawing. Im sure that they wont mind me using the school printers(colored/B&W) so I can sell my art. Im not sure who would buy it though. Im not that talented just yet, but hey, that is why Im here, right? Hahaha!

I might be getting a tablet, but not for free though. : ( You see, they sell them here at the school. The only thing is, is that they are for graphic ANIMATION and Im not in that major, so I have to get approved for it first. ; _ ; They should allow me. I mean, you should have seen my face when I saw what kind of tablet it was... I couldnt beleive it...


IT WAS A BAMBOO!!!

I have wanted one of those since they came out like a year and a half ago. Sure, they only have the small ones, but that's ok. A small it better than not having one at all! OMG! It looked so B-E-A-utiful too! I even shed a tear when I saw the box... Cheesy...I know, but oh the freak well. : o IT WAS PRETTY!!!

I dont leave school until 11:00 tonight. Bummer, ne? That is ok though cause I now have DA to curve my boredom... : 3 I ish le happiez!!

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22452051/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22452051/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 12:59:09 PST
So I guess I can update here anyway. : 0 That tis teh gut, ne?

Updates?

Now right now. Anything that I dont really talk about here, I will talk about in my personal blog. : 3

Here: [link]

So check it out!

+Panda+

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22384587/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/22384587/ Sat, 03 Jan 2009 23:18:19 PST
School, Im not doing too hot right now. There is a reason. I have no work and that brings on the stress of not being able to pay the bills. That is where the problem of work comes in, but I am working on that!

Love is a whole different twisted story...

I dont have much of one anymore and I dont want to start a new love life since I soon will be moving to Texas in about six months. Yeah, you might think that is a long way away, but it isnt really. There are a lot of reasons for me to move back(yes, I said 'back' to Texas. If you care anything about me, which I feel a few of you do, you can read all about my problems here:

[link]

Look there and you can read up on it all.

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/21779413/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/21779413/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 07:27:03 PST
Anyway, I set up a gallery on my personal blog. So, of you get the chance you can just go there and check up on me and my art. You can also see the things I have mad in my fashion classes. There has been lots of drama too. : o

Here is my URL - [link]

Read and laugh at the problems I have. xD I do.

- Panda -

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/20787891/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/20787891/ Thu, 02 Oct 2008 04:41:55 PDT Dont want to read all of this?
Go to the bottom and read the summery!


EDIT: Since I dont have net in my apartment, here is the url to my personal blog. The school computers dont allow DevArt. Go figure?

URL = [link]



Today Im going back to my apartment. Ticea still hasnt paid her part for the bills. So, I wont have net while Im there. I hope things get better after a while........

Here, I dont have a scanner, but I do have fabu designs. When I get home, I have a scanner, but no internet. I do have a solution though. lol You see, I have a friend that I know VERY well and has agreed to help me with my little problem. The plan is, Im going to scan my designs at home and fix them up there, put them on a Flash Drive, take it to school, send the designs through email at school with their computers and then once I do that, they get to log into my Dev account and upload my designs for me. Smart, right? I know, Im just that good. lol Not really.


In my last journal I talked about a goal that I have. Im going to keep it. Im going to lose 150 pounds. Im going to work out and seriously focus on my schooling. I guess Im just tired of my life and how it is right now. Im going to change all of that. Im going to get healthy and get smart. Two things Im not, but Im willing to shoot for so I can be who I want. : ) So please cheer me on? Thank you!!

I also have another goal. I want to work for Nina D as a sketch artist.

Check her out. ===> [link]

She is a local designer in/near Nashville and I heard that they are looking for sketchers. Still, I do have a problem. I probably wont have a ride to and from work... I need a car, but I cant get one until next year because, one - Im poor, and two - I have no job yet(IM WORKING ON THAT!!!). So, Im stuck with having to find a job that is closer than the skin on my body...and that is close. lol Joking aside, life could get a bit better. I need it to.

Speaking of getting better, my mom's situation doesnt seem too happy... My sister is living here which means there is someone to look after my grandmother while mom is at work, but she smokes and has pills she takes. Along with my grandmother's smokes and pills, food, bills and then on top of that my mother smokes(Im one of the VERY FEW in my family that doesnt smoke)I know it must be hard on her. That is why I MUST find a job soon. I hate having to ask my mom for money to pay my bills(not rent, my student loans take care of that each month). Im very thankful for my mother. I dont know what I would do if she wasnt around. : )

Summery:

I need money and a job. Soon I will have more designs here in my gallery. I have huge plans to lose 150 pounds. Im going to focus on my goals more. I want to work for a local designer in the Nashville area, but I have no car yet to do that. My mom is in financial trouble and I want to help her soon. I think that is all...I hope.

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/20696591/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/20696591/ Fri, 26 Sep 2008 23:13:53 PDT
Back at my apartment... Dear GOD... I have no internet and that is killing me because I have things to upload. Right now Im on my laptop...well it is really my mom's, but she doesnt know how to use it really so I just call it mine. It is and old model, but it runs like new because it is barely used. xD

Right now Im working on being an alternative model. I think I have a photogenic face. Not so on the body though. So Im working on losing a lot of weight. Maybe then I can do a little part time plus size modeling or something. Im rather serious about this too... I have been over weight most of my life. Im not looking to be super thin. Just at a healthy weight. The last time I went to a doctor she told me that my ideal weight is 150 pounds. Im WAY over that... Im ready to change myself to be happier with myself. I need to change.

OK...this is going to be hard. I weigh, Im sure of this, twice as much as my goal weight(150lbs.)... So from now on, I have got to stop living this crappy life Im living...

I wonder though....what changes will have have to make to be a happier person? I believe Im willing to change as much as needed. Nothing is going to change...if I dont change, right? Here is hoping for the best...

♥
~ Panda ~

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/20428738/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/20428738/ Wed, 10 Sep 2008 18:57:18 PDT HAVE been ignoring this place. Lurking in the shadows and whatnot. There has been a lot going on and some drama that I really dont want to think about. Things should be more mellow now. Im trying my best to get things back on track so I can do what I came here to do. That is to do well in school and graduate Fashion school. Some may say that Im stupid and selfish for coming here. Im sick and tired of hearing that. Im going to give it my all and if I mess up, I know I have my family to help me back up.

So, on to other news. Lots has been going on. I have sketches that I need to upload and show everyone. I think I have gotten better with my designs. I hope you think so too.

Anywho, I think that is all Im going to say since I dont want to talk about the drama. Please, look forward to my designs. ^ ^

♥
~ Panda ~

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/19745124/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/19745124/ Sun, 03 Aug 2008 00:28:44 PDT

I have been tagged by

1. Post these rules
2. Tagged people must post 8 things each about themselves in their journals.
3. Tag 6 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message that says you tagged them.
5. No Tag-backs!

1 - Im a Yaoi fan.
2 - Im a fashion student at IADT
3 - I like living in the city
4 - I love someone here on DA
5 - I love black, white, purple and pink
6 - I love pandas
7 - Im bad at Math
8 - Ask me for the last one. Bwahahaha!

That is all.

I tag:













♥

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/19616600/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/19616600/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 01:36:28 PDT

Hey, this is a problem. Im being lazy. : ( I have drawings I need to upload, but Im being a moron right now. Why? I dont know. I mean, I have the time, but Im just lazy. Does anyone what to slap the hell out of me and snap me out of my lazy spell? I give you full permission. Really.

I need to start getting more in my gallery so I can get more ppl watching me. Then maybe I can start taking commission. What do you think?

Would you commission me for a drawing?

Yes -
No -





]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/19282284/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/19282284/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:19:46 PDT

Yeah, Im finally settled in my new place. I just have to work really hard from now on. I need to get a job right now. There is a Sanrio store in a near by mall and I am REALLY REALLY wanting to work there. Either there or at Hot Topic. : 3 Dear Jebus. It is like a dream come true for me. lol I just have to fill out the applications and then turn them in and wait. Waiting is the HARDEST thing to do when looking for a job. This is going to kill me on some kind of sub level of life. Im sure.

Anyway, I started college already. I have Textiles on Monday, College Success on Tuesdays, Wednesday I have Intro to Fashion and last ans certainly LEAST, I have English on Thursday. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I have free until I find myself a job ( HOPPING FOR THE JOB AT SANRIO!!!!!! ). So, please wish me luck?


Update: The job that I wanted, I got it. Im going in to fill out the paper work today at 3. Please wish me luck?

- Panda -
♥

｡◕‿◕｡

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/19139767/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/19139767/ Tue, 01 Jul 2008 04:09:49 PDT

Today is the day... I will be gone for a while. I hope that there will be not as many problems. So, until I get internet hooked up in my new place, I guess I will talk to you later.

Bai bai!~

♥

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18914357/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18914357/ Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:08:35 PDT

I don't normally do these, but I thought this one looked like fun and I was boooored~ :3

Answer the questions below
-Take each answer and type it into the dA search box
-Take a deviation from the first page of results (may use ' popular' or 'newest' ) and post thumb (for subscribers) or link (non-subscribers)
-You can't copy the persons answers who posted this before you

Taken from

1. The age you will be on your next birthday -



2. A place you'd like to travel -



3. Your favorite place -



4. Your favorite object -



5. Favorite food -



6. Your favorite animal -



7. Your favorite color -



8. The town/state/etc in which you live -



9. Name of a fictional character you think you might love -



10. Your favorite school subject -



11. Your screen name -



12. First Name -



13. Favorite Smell -



14. Bad habit of yours -
http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18845477/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18845477/ Sat, 14 Jun 2008 21:30:47 PDT

The last two things that I uploaded....yeah. I like them because I think they came out good. It is just....I need to focus more on my outfits. ^ ^;; I am not ashamed of the drawings though. I love anime and manga. Old habits die hard!! D:

Anyway, I took a trip today. This is how it went. You will lol.

I got up around 7 and then laid back down for an hour. At 8, I got up and got ready. Im a girl so it took me an hour. lol At 9 in the morning, I was ready to go for my Orientations for college! But wait...wait....wait......wait! Ugh! Im done with the waiting. We had to wait 30 MINUTES for my uncle to finally come over to watch my grandmother. XP I dont like him!! Finally!! He is there at 9:30! I have an hour to be where I need to be. Ah!! Panic mode much?? Very! So, I hope in the car. Vroom vroom! So, mom and me are in the car. Going to Nashville! It is so fun! Not!! I am all panicky all the way up there. So, I see the skyscrapers in the distance. Yay! Almost there. So we drive and drive. Wait up. What turn did we NOT TAKE!?! OH NO! But oh yes. We didnt take a turn that we needed and we drive WAAAAAAAY past where we needed to be. U TURN!!! D: Oh, and it doesnt end there....traffic...50 MILES OF IT! I died....many times. So, we go through this HUGE LINE of cars. We finally get to the college. Im ONE HOUR late.... So, I walk in and I see my Admissions Rep. I wanted to get on my hands and knees apologizing for being sooooo late. She gives me a hug as Im telling what happened so far and tells me that it is alright and that I havent missed anything. THANK YOU!!! As you can tell. That made me happy. Yet...it does not end there. Oh no it does not. First, she asks me about my apartment situation. I need one!! So, she is like, " OK, I have two girls looking for a room mate. You can room with them." Im all yay about it. Less I have to pay on rent, right? So, she give me a folder that has some papers in it(schedule and such). w00t!! She tells me that I have to go to two places in the building and that is it. Double YAY! So, I go to the career service table. Nothing to it. She gives me a paper telling me some info I need to know and I go on to the next place. I go up stares. They take my picture for my Student ID and then Im back down stares. My Rep tags me off to the side and gives me the apartment app. and asks me if I want to see the place. She hands me a brochure with the address and gives me directions. After this, I go over to a table, I had this lady a paper and she gives me a shirt! Hella yaya! Then I leave to look at the apartments. Come to find out, it was the way that we went when we were lost! Yes! So, we go see the apartment. I fill out the app and then we leave from there only to go BACK THROUGH THE 50 MILES TRAFFIC AGAIN! So, we do that...unwillingly! We get to the town right above our small crappy one and eat something. Good thing too. I like foooooood. Anyway, we get home and I get on the computer. No lies about it. It was a small trip that Im happy to tell. lol

END

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18671874/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18671874/ Thu, 05 Jun 2008 00:02:03 PDT

Im so totally scared... I have suspicions of what to expect. Im just so afraid that things will turn out more wrong than I can handle. I dont want to show that Im scared though. I cant really. Yes, I know there will be times when I want to break down and cry, but things will turn out right in the end, right?

I dont have everything packed yet. I still have lots more to go through too. Like my fabric shelf and I need to get all my dolly stuff together. There is a crap load of stuff that I really NEED to throw away. Like old school papers. Old crappy drawings that are not worth scanning.

My biggest worry is money. Time just isnt the issue with me. The reason for that is because Im moving up to the city two weeks before I have any classes. Im planning on moving up there around the 23 or the 27 of this month. My classes start July 7. That should be enough time. Im sure. lol

Anyway, I still have plans to get a tablet soon. I want a Bamboo Fun tablet. From what I hear, there are a lot getting it. So Im going to jump onto the band wagon and get one too.

Really, all I need is lots of luck and TONS of support...

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18603218/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18603218/ Sun, 01 Jun 2008 02:20:57 PDT
Sorry for not uploading anything for the past few months. It is just, with graduation and in a month I will be going to college(hopefully), I have been haveing a hard time finding time to do much of anything. Dont get me wrong, I have been drawing some designs and such. I cant stop myself from doing that.

Yes! I have graduated! Now Im going off to college to study fashion. What a dream come true for me. Some of you though might be asking yourself. What made this person want to study fashion? Well, that is a very awesome question.

It all started when I was living in TX. I had a very good friend and she would dress me up and do my make up every time I would stay at her place. She was really nice to me. I found that I loved helping her modify clothes. Making something new from the fabric we had. I found it very fun. Later one, I found that I had a pasion for drawing. I moved to TN, where I am now, and there was no one to make clothes with. So, I stuck with my drawing. Anime was my big thing. I drew all sorts of anime(Im still working on my Shojo skills!! DX ). Yes, I still draw anime, in a way. The time came for me to pick something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I was really confused, but the one thing that I knew I wanted to do was art. One day, I was just drawing and, it dawned on me! Fashion Design!!! Oh my Goodness! The sudden revelation was an answer that I wanted. So, I am now BACK into fashion. So, I have combine two things that I love to do. Clothes and Drawing. I love to draw/design clothes!

Right now, I just enjoying being free from school. Though, I know it will be short lived. My mother, on Tuesday, is going to get boxes for me so that I can pack all my stuff up. Im really scared to be moving out. It is something VERY new to me. Im still very excited though. I just hope I do it right and not mess up TOO bad that I cant fix it. So, I need lots-o-luck and loves.

In other news! I am wanting to do commissions for a little extra money. So, if anyone is interested, I might put up a commission journal.

I have some drawing that I need to upload. Not only for me, but for . She is waiting for me to update my Gallery.

I hate plans on getting a tablet. I have for a while, but I might be able to get one this time....maybe. Im planning on getting a Blue(Medium) Bamboo Fun Tablet. The way I figure it, my sister is sending me $200 for graduation and the tablet I want is $199. So, I get that and then I can do some of the things that I see in a lot of the tutorials that I read all the time. xD I am hoping!

Anyway, I think that is it. Yeah, that is....bye!

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18460324/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18460324/ Fri, 23 May 2008 09:01:47 PDT
Happy & Excited - Im graduating! Im going to get away from this small town and live how I want to live. I dont have to see these same faces each and everyday and I get to experience new things!!

Scared - Im going to fall flat of my face out in this huge world. I only want to succeed…

If possible, wish me luck. I know I need it. : (

Im gonna upload some pics later tomorrow. Sort of a scrapbook kind of things with text to the side of each picture.

Laters,

- Panda

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18276901/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18276901/ Sun, 11 May 2008 16:32:34 PDT

Blah, my subscription is running out today. : ( I cant help it either because Im poor right now. Well, not really poor. Im just saving up for College. : ( Dang, why does it have to cost so much??

Anyway, Im going to think of other ways to get a little bit of spending money. > . >;; Oh Mommy!? just kidding. She wouldnt give me money for this. ^ ^;;


Other than that. I cant wait until FRIDAY! Im going on my senior trip to Kentucky Kingdom 6 Flags. : o I used to live in Kentucky. I have gone to 6 Flags a few times before too, but not in the same place. I lived in Huston,TX and that is where I went to 6 Flags. I do have to say. There will be like 20 other high schools there and that means I will get to meet NEW ppl. * , * I likes meetings new pplz. lol So yeah, Im gonna have some fun. I really hope Space Cadet is going with me since he is graduating. : 3 He is one of my very best friends.

Oh! Can anyone recommend some REALLY REALLY REALLY awesome songs? I need some new music for my MP3 player. The ride of to 6 Flags is going to be 2 hours and I dont want to listen to the songs I have been for the past two weeks. I love the songs, I really do, but they kind of get old listening to them for a long while. > . >;; So yeah... I needz me some new sound.

TO DO LIST:

Finish WW2 project
Finish 8 page report
Finish ATC for dokipon
Get some good songs for my MP3 player for the 2 hour ride to 6 Flags. > . >;;
Clean my room(It looks...Disaster Zone! )

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18235240/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/18235240/ Thu, 08 May 2008 23:24:10 PDT

Yay for updates. A lot has been going on. I have good and bad news about random things going on.

First off, lets get the bad news out of the way along with a small rant somewheres in there. Shall we?

Ok, so as most of you, if you have not forgotten, I entered a contest so I could get money for college of which I DESPERATELY need...*poor kid face* I didnt get it. I mean, I know it wasnt perfect. > . >;; Oh well though. They did leave notes on there for me to look at. The thing is...I dont have the notes with me right now to know what they say. My college rep has them and I think she said she was going to send them to me. I dont know. So Im gonna have to wait on that. lol

Small rant~

I have a student portal I use to look at my college statues and such. Thing is, there was one feature on there that did NOT work. Along with other things too. So, I email my rep saying WTF? and she emails the webmaster asking about it. After that, he emails her and then she forwards that email to me. (Here it comes...) He says in this email, and I QUOTE,

"The portal shows the following now:

User name: (j.clark133)
Password: (my password)

She also seems to have j.clark138, j.clark139, j.clark140, and j.clark141 as un-registered accounts that would not work.



Thanks,

Brian"

The only thing is. I registered ONCE!! How is it that I have all these other usernames when I registered only once? I dont know.

So, I log in with the one that I normally use. It still messes up when I try to take the Entrance Counseling. After that, I log into the first one that was given in the email....long behold...IT FREAKING WORKS! : o Now I have a college email address along with other NEW shiny features that I didnt have in the other one. So, right now Im using the one that works. Im just worried that all the work that I did on the other one(needed documents, financial Aid and etc. ) are still counted on this "FIRST" account. *sighs* So yeah...I think Im good.




Um...lets see.... Oh! My student loans. THEY SCARE ME! D: I took out a loan for college. It is the only thing that I could do because I have only one scholarship as of right now. Even then, it seems like chump change compared to the tuition itself. $2,323 is not enough to cover almost $65,000. It just doesnt cut it. So, I know that once I graduate, Im going to be paying OUT THE ASS to pay off my student loans... Good thing Im going into a high paying job so it wont take me much time to pay them off. Im going to use EVERY little thing that they teach me to my advantage so I get the good money. Since Im tired of being the poor kid. I want to be the one GIVING to the charity....not the one receiving the charity.... I really tired of it being like this. I have been wearing the same damned clothes for the bast 5 years. The only time I get clothes is either when I spend money that is for bills and on my birthday(my mom gets me one outfit for my birthday each year... Some of the clothes I like, but then there are others that I want to BURN! ). I cant really say that for this year. Because it is my senior year, mom is being extra nice to me and spending money on me which to be honest....scars me. She normally isnt like this. > .. >;; Im not going to look a gift horse in the mouth though. So....yeaaah.

END Small rant~

* takes a deeeep breath *

Anyway, on to the good news(with a little bad news).

Im done with my Credit Recovery. So this means that Im going to be graduating this year. Yay for me. I just have one more worry to deal with and then Im in the clear. That worry is....my current grades. Since I was so freaking stressed about my Credit Recovery, I was focusing on that more than the grades I need for this term. So, Im having to play a little catch up right now with a few of my classes. Only two I think. I know of one.....ok THREE of my classes. I need to finish a WW2 project for History, do an 8 page report in English 4 and Im missing three documents in my Spreadsheets class. Spreadsheets is EASY. The other two are whats going to fail me. : ( Yeah, I need to work hard on those two.

Really though...the WW2 project is WAY, I MEAN WAY, over due...by like a week... I hope the teacher takes it late. ^ ^;;;;; Yeah, I feel like Im screwed worse than a French whore on a Saturday night... So this weekend, Im going to be working hard on those two things, because I can get the Spreadsheets done in only 20minutes. lol


AWES... ]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/17999967/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/17999967/ Wed, 23 Apr 2008 22:35:09 PDT

* sighs * Not much seems to work, so Im going to do a little forceful thinking. As in, Im going to force the ideas out of my head by drawing the first think that comes to my head and then designing an outfit from that. The first thing that came to my head after this was PROM. D:

Yes, you read right. PROM... a special day in every girls high school life... Not for me though. ^ ^;; I went with my love, in my 9th grade year of high school. It wasnt that fun. : ( Not that I didnt have fun with my friends, but the PROM sucked. My friends and I had some fun. After PROM that is. lol

Anyway, each year, when the time comes, the seniors pick a theme for our PROM. This year the theme will be "Midnight Masquerades" which I must be hones is pretty cool in comparison to when I went. lol

So, in light of the theme, I am going to design a dress that is a representation of what I think the PROM is about.

Well, wish me luck. : D

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/17918497/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/17918497/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 20:35:34 PDT . >;

I have been listening to music and looking at other peoples art for inspiration, but I just can’t bring myself to do anything right now. I need something that will just shake me out of this shit hole and inspire me. Something. I don’t care what it is! D:

Anyway, tomorrow Mana is going to come over(he promised) and so I need to wake up early. Good night.

<3

Dead Panda

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/17832031/ http://DeadPandaDesigns.deviantart.com/journal/17832031/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 12:40:37 PDT journal and you can see that what I posted before was not really anything to worry about. > _ > Sorry for the panic, but you cant really blame me, can you? That is what happens when an artist feels their art is in danger. Like when a mother saves her child before caring about herself kind of thing. ^ ^;; So yeah, whatev on the Orphan Works Bill. Nothing to worry about. : o

Or so it seems... > _ >;;

]]> ~DeadPandaDesigns