http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Death-Lust-Female&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Death-Lust-Female en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:11:35 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/28435128/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/28435128/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:22:10 PST Well update... uhh... hm... yeah... art. i've been focused a lot on my homework and zeke recently... since he has two jobs now and i don't get to see him often and since i don't have a cell phone... it kind of sucks. though, he said hes gonna try to get me a minuet phone(t-mobile) as a christmas present. A cheep one of course, but something where we can get direct conact incase stuff changes and ect. it will be nice...
Also, i've been in better mood until the other two days where i pissed off a friend. (not on purpous of course, but you know how people just deside to get pissed for a small non-worth reason)and so, i took a Mental health day. (a sick day for my mom telling my dad so he doesn't get pissed for me being home) Just a day to kind of relax and not have to worry about anything, do a little homework, watch TV, and not be around people. Ofcourse, you'd be all "Well what about the weekend?" the weekend means EVERYONE is out of school and can easily bug me. That fact bothers me... so... knowing everyone is at school helps me not have to worry. =3 its weird, i know. I'm afraid that I have some real stress issues with things, but eh. Sure i don't wanna go to school tomrrow cause people will either treat me like i was never gone, which is rude, or they will treat me if i died... which is anoying... =/ *shrug* oh well... least i made progress on my damn sculptures house that was due like two weeks ago.
Oh, if anyone has any suggestions on to help with my stress/worry problem, feel free to tell me. =3 help is nice and always apreshiated greatly.

OH! Dresden files, good series. just finished the first book. =3

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/28075475/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/28075475/ Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:16:29 PDT I didn't get the day to myself like i thought cause zeke didn't have to work... i'm sure i won't get tomorrow to myself... *sigh* And of course spending a day from school at home is impossible... people are driving me up the wall again. This could be a major problem if they continue to bother me further... i may storm out in rage and do bad stuff, or just storm out and hide in the night shadows, being eatten by bugs... >>''

A good thing about today though. I saw this guy with red contacts and fangs... IN MY TOWN... o-o its odd... and hard to believe cause you know, those people don't live in my dumb town... i wanted to hug him but i was froze by the fact he looked creepy and "i want your blood" but talked normal... o-O Squee...

i'm sleepy... where are you sleep that will not follow me?

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/27854624/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/27854624/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:57:21 PDT
Anyway, tomorrow is the OFFICIAL FIRST meeting of the Chopper Challange at school. =3 i'm excited. I need an idea though... Ethan said something about gold and blue. Then i told my teacher at lunch while sitting along with him (to show off the bikes, his and the one being changed) and he spoke about actual gold leaf stuff...o.o'' i've seen that stuff at art... its HARD to work with apperently...
(if you have any ideas for color ro soemthing, please say something!)

COLLEGE! i need to go to college visits... i'm gonna go to an AI one and a UW barron(they have art courses now). I also have to take the ACT. but i have to get a hold of my mom when shes not at work cause i gotta figure this crap out (since shes pullin extra shifts cause my dad got laied off)
Kind of sucks when i think about it because i could have done better in the earlier part of my life, but i didn't because i got depressed. Ever since i know i've been depressed, i should have got help right away to fix all of it. but i didn't. Then with my dad loosing his spot, we won't have health insurance. I mean, i have BadgerCare but i don't think they will pay for a shrink. Its kind of funny, because 6th grade was AWESOME. I loved all my teachers and passed every class(exept english cause my english teacher didn't know how to teach). Ever since 7th grade, my mood for the world started to turn away. Like, i know people just hate school but i just hated life... then my sister got me hooked on MSN which led to getting hooked onto the internet. Through the rest of middle school, i was always found there, because i used it to excape the real world. It kept me alive atleast... then i reilised i was depressed like back in sophmore year... so i tryed to cope with it. my moods haven't gotten extreamly better... I'm still depressed, though i'm trying my hardest to be HAPPY. I love to be happy. I love it when i can hop around like an idiot and not care. School still brings me down, the past week i think i've done alright. ... Theres still a chance of me going into a loop agian because of all the stress though.

OH! I'm writing a short story for Creative Writing. it has to do something with Fear.

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/27490083/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/27490083/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:40:58 PDT
On a better note, i'm passing all my classes. =3 Including Wildlife managment which i thought i'd be failing cause... well its not an amazing class...

I gotta remember to go check out scholarships... and colleges... STUFF I WILL DEFEAT YOU AND THEN CELEBRATE SOME HOW! D< thats how i help get through my depression. I do something needed to be done and i try to celebrate or treat myself with something, even though thats kind of hard to do with little to no money... Though!!!

IF ANYONE CAN GIVE ME AN ART JOB I WOULD THANK THEM WITH ALL MY BEING! D=

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/27274678/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/27274678/ Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:35:35 PDT
]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/27068751/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/27068751/ Mon, 07 Sep 2009 07:42:34 PDT A little longer version(morefull): I went along with three buddies from school. Drew was paying for everything as a "sorry i moved and we don't talk much anymore..." thing. I got a Tortuga twin shirt, Crystal stix(basicpair)((a game)), ocrina, pet dragon AND a little claw necklace with a translusint marble in the claw. I was gonna get a picture up of me in my outfit but never did, so maybe when i get my senior photos taken, i'll do that for one.
Yeah. The perverted guy story... is a long story so if you wanna hear about it, just ask, i don't feel like repeating myself so much. XD its kind of funny in a way. I will tell you he kept showing up standing on a bench to look down my vest...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/26324049/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/26324049/ Sat, 01 Aug 2009 18:48:06 PDT
[x] Kenan and Kel
[x] Doug
[x] Pinky & the Brain
[x] AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
[x] Rocko's Modern Life
[x] Animaniacs
[x] Gargoyles
[x] Hey Arnold!
[ ] Out of the Box
[x] Beavis & Butt-Head

[x] You’ve ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
[x] You just can’t resist finishing this: "In west Philadelphia born and raised...". ("...On the playground was where I spent most of my days.")

You remember:

[ ] Step by Step
[x] Family Matters
[ ] Dinosaurs
[x] Boy Meets World
[x] Full House
[x] You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons


When everything was settled by:

[x] "Rock/paper/scissors"
[ ] "Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish"
[ ] "Miss Mary Mack"

[ ] When kickball was something you did everyday
[x] You used to listen to the radio all day long
[x] Just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape

[x] You remember Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis
[x] You remember The Original Game Boy
[ ] You always wanted to send in a tape to America’s Funniest Home Videos...

You remember watching:

[x] The Magic School Bus
[x] Wishbone
[x] Reading Rainbow
[ ] Ghostwriter
[x] Are you Afraid of the Dark
[x] You remember when Yo-Yo's were cool
[x] You remember those "Where’s Waldo" books
[x] You remember eating Warheads and Gushers

You listen / listened to:

[x] KoRn
[x] Tool
[ ] Garbage
[x] Green Day
[ ] Clutch
[ ] Jesus Jones
[x] White Zombie
[ ] Violent Femmes
[x] Beastie Boys
[ ] Danzig
[x] Red Hot Chili Peppers
[ ] Primus
[ ] Slayer
[x] Pantera
[ ] GWAR
[ ] Ministry



You remember watching:

[x] Batman the Animated Series
[x] Aladdin
[x] Ninja Turtles
[x] Ghost Busters


[x] You remember Ring Pops
[x] You remember boom boxes vs. CD players
[x] Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them
[x] You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano

You watched the original cartoons of:

[x] Rugrats
[ ] Wild Thornberrys
[x] Power Rangers

Ladies only
[ ] All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand

You collected:

[x] Beanie Babies
[x] Pokemon cards
[ ] Carebears
[ ] Silver dollars


You remember when:

[x] Everyone watched the WB
[x] Everybody knew all the Pokemon by name
[x] Digimon was still on

Check these if:

[x] If you even know what an original Walkman is.
[x] You know the Macarena by heart
[x] "Talk to the hand"
[x] You went to McDonald’s to play in the playplace and it was still sanitary
[x] Light up sneakers were cool
[x] You rented VHS tapes, not DVDs
[x] Gas was $0.95 a gallon
[x] We recorded stuff on VCR
[ ] You had slap bracelets
[ ] You actually played outside until it was dark

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/26257437/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/26257437/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:52:58 PDT If intrested, please say something!!!!!

<3

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/26221269/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/26221269/ Mon, 27 Jul 2009 21:23:03 PDT
I am selling three of my paintings I have here at home. I created each one in some kind of art class. I do not have pictures of them YET, but i will VERY soon. If you are intrested, please contact me ASAP and i will get back to you. Again, I WILL post them ASAP on here. I just must simply borrow my friends digital camera cause they are a bit to big to scan. ALSO~ I may be willing to sell my copy of Starry night IF I can get a big enough offer seeing how as it was my first ever painting so it means a lot to me and I'd rather see it going to some one who apreeshates it greatly... =3

~VA

P.S.- will charge a little extra for shipping. =3

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/26167593/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/26167593/ Sat, 25 Jul 2009 09:38:34 PDT Not much goin' on here. Waiting for a belly dancer costume from the mail to use to go to the Renassance fair this year. Whoo, gonna be a gypsy! show off my moves... Not sure when zekes going off to basic... don't know what i'm gonna do with my time then... 13 weeks... its like asking me to go into hibernation for a while...

Anyway, i took pictures at the Como Zoo on zekes phone so i shall hopefully get those uploaded soon.

I should be getting my senior photos done soon, either by Beau Petersen or Sara Martinsen... not sure though... Damn, i hate photos of myself. D<

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/25259134/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/25259134/ Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:17:18 PDT But life is life right now. Its pretty good. I'm going through many diffrent things, by that i mean exploring new things. Like doing Henna Tattoos. Which i do quite well at. I'm hoping to sell a few tomorrow after people are done doing the final in my last class. If you live here and want one... then come to me... for i need cash for Kyoukido classes. Atleast until I get a real job. I'm hoping Zeke will get a job at Suncoast in the mall (the closest one here which is a half hour away) that i can apply at Hottopic and try to get about the same hours as him that way i have a ride and i can help pay for gas for him and such until i can get my own licence (i have to go through drivers school and i have to pay for it too) as well as a car of my own. Or atleast borrow zekes if he gets his own soon too. (then just pay him back for the use of it with gas money) it works out if i can start getting an income. *nod* finding a job here though... its quite sleek with the stuff i wanna do. I'm looking for an art job yes, but if i can get something else that doesn't require fast food or working at a walmart, i think i'll be alright. or a coffee shop. I don't think i'd do well making coffee. (I can so picture myself spilling it on myself and all that) I thought if i could draw chibis better that i could become a cartoonist. i guess i'm funny to my friends so i'd probably be funny to others if i put my weird thoughts into comic or osmething. Can't draw anime anymore though... i can draw reilistic somewhat but it would take to long...
Anyway~ yeah, i'm happy school is done for a while. I do like school (shocking i know) but its getting very repeditive now. I'm pretty sure some people hate me at school. Which i find hilarious because they STILL talk to me and such. I reilize i'm not a bad person but they seem to notice all the little things that people love about me and apperently bug them. SO... whatever. I've never been one to be rude to another unless given a good reason to do so.
Lesson of the day!!!!!!::::

"I don't threat, i promise" -Peggy (A good friend and my henna teacher)
Followed by mothers quote of "Girls make threats, Women make promises"

I know cool people.... some really cool people...

OH! I'll scan and get some of my henna designs and actual pictures of henna tattoos done by me on here hopefully... ASAP. o-o''' can't promise though. I am trying to make a good life of myself without pushing myself to my anxity problem. *nod* its not to hard yet not to easy either. I'M WORKING ON IT PEOPLE! leave me be...
Well I must be off... My mountain dew is running low and my mp3 is now going through all my slower songs so its hard to dance... which i wanna dance... and clean and sing and... yeah... BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/24755796/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/24755796/ Thu, 14 May 2009 15:09:16 PDT Looking for a job.
Wanna Join Kyoki-do
went to the awesome Disturbed Music as a Weapon tour. The bands were Godly. =3
... pretty much it in a nut shell...

As for art, I'm trying to keep up with life and my art. o-o my scanner is always covered whenever i get time to scan something... So i'm looking into taking a day on the weekend that i'm not doing a thing and scan all the pictures I can. I still have yet to get photos off zekes camera...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/24276747/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/24276747/ Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:55:57 PDT
]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/24166617/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/24166617/ Fri, 10 Apr 2009 14:29:20 PDT
OH! I also painted a cute critter on my wall... I just have to get my ass to take a picture of it as well... =3 If i don't get stuff on tomorrow, i'll get it on soon enough.
until then........ *poofs in a black cloud of dust*
~VA

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/24075903/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/24075903/ Sun, 05 Apr 2009 13:02:57 PDT Didn't do a whole lot. Hung out with Zeke.
Got a Caligraphy beginner set for my b-day. =3 and a Henna thing too. so i might be scanning parts of my body at some time to show you my henna. XD

A whole 17... Whoo. I don't feel older. I do feel diffrent.

Finding some cool things out about some art colleges as well. Thinking if I get a laptop and a faster connection that i'll go online AAU from San Fran. =3
Ah well. ART! i may go into photography or Fashion design...
For Fasion, i just need some one to make the clothes... like i design, they make, that is if i can't find crap to make the stuff myself.
~Ames

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/23871609/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/23871609/ Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:01:24 PDT As for the shirt contest, i didn't win or take a place which sucks royally.
I have been drawing random pictures recently, i still have to get off my lazy butt and scan them
In other news, i've been taking a few nature pictures with my bf's camera... which turned out really really nice so i'm gonna put some on here. I may not get as many as i wish too on here in one sitting though since of my dial up... just a warning...
Love to all~

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/23716715/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/23716715/ Sun, 15 Mar 2009 17:17:31 PDT 002. Nickname(s): ames, neko, george, deathlustfemale
003. Status: taken
004. Zodiac sign: aries
005. Male or female: DEATH
006. Elementary: simple
007. Middle School: complicated with failing
008. High School: Very complicated but becoming simpler
009. Smart: yes, i simply don't use it much
010. Hair color: uhh, my natural hair color?
011. Tall or short: I'm SHORT!
012. Loud or Quiet: depends on whats goin' on
013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans<3
014. Phone or Camera: Camera
015. Health freak: neeeh, sorta
016. Drink or Smoke?: only on special ocations and no to smokeing
017. Do you have a crush on someone?: Yes actually (but shh, don't tell my bf who's probably readding this. O-o)
018. Eating or Drinking: mmm i'd rather chug down soda than eat sometimes, unless i'm on my period
019. Piercing:. ears but i want more
020. Tattoos: i want a few...

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing: ear
024. First best friend: Brad
025. First award: Holyshit i won something?! WHEN??!!! and why was i not informed?!
026. First crush: uh... Michael whos not here anymore..
027. First pet: guieany pig... o.o his name was cody...
028. First big vacation: donno
030. First big birthday: ...neveah...

CURRENTLY:

049. Eating: Previously supper meal
050. Drinking: Mountain dew
052. I'm about to: scratch my boob
053. Listening to: Heartless - K. west
054. Plans for today: for the rest of the day... uhh... EC geometry?

YOUR FUTURE:

058. Want kids?: no
059. Want to get married?: yeah, someday when i'm ready
060. Careers: painter, drawer, violinist, Army soilder, interier designer, fashion designer, picture taker...

WHICH IS BETTER WITH OPPOSITE SEX?

068. Lips or eyes: eyes
070. Shorter or taller?: taller, but close to my short height
072. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic
073. Nice stomach or nice arms: ... arms?
074. Sensitive or loud: heheheh... both, diffrent depending on situation
075. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
077. Troublemaker or hesitant: Sometimes a Troublemaker, but most times hesitant .

HAVE YOU EVER:

080. Lost glasses/contacts: nope =3
081. Ran away from home: wanted too...
084. Broken someone's heart: 'fraid so
085. Been arrested: haha, not yet
087. Cried when someone died: Yeah...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. Yourself: no
090. Miracles: sometimes
091. Love at first sight: mm, sounds like a crush! =O actually at the momment yes. curious about something
092. Heaven: maybeh
093. Santa Clause: is satan
094. Sex on the first date: no
095. Kiss on the first date: depends on how much i like the person and how much they like me...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. A funny cartoon: Chowder
098. Are you seriously happy with where your at in life?: Eh not really
099. Do you believe in God: not really just that one god...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So i'm still on the search for shoes to go with my prom dress. I am really really really anxious to know if i won the t-shirt logo contest for the Servious learning day or not. I probably didn't but i have high hopes since not many turned many in. i'm about to have a heart attack on it... O_O I already have ideas for the prize money to use on... on my prom ticket. XD

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/23510304/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/23510304/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:57:37 PST Something happend between some good friends... Something good. =3 and i'm very happy for them. Shocked at first then was very happy for them. I will not say names.
Its been many peoples birthdays this month. Today my fathers birthday. Saturday, my ex's birthday. Next friday my Bf's birthday. =3 its intresting.
The army managed to call last week. I may go into it. I don't know. Still thinking on it. I'll learn more when the call back this week of course. Found out they have orchestra in there which i'm very intrested in. Other wise i'm thinking of going to San Fran. with my friend to join the FLG's if i can. It will be worth a drive to learn something new.

Oh hey, if any one really likes my art and wishes to buy something on mind that you think i may be able to do, give the word. I'm not sure how to do the transaction, but i'm broke right now and i need some cash before april because of prom. I would think my bf would like me to come to his last prom.
I'm still gonna be sad when my senoir friends graduate... I learned a lot from them. =3 May peace and happiness be with them always.

Uhh.. tip, if you drink lots of mountain dew, make sure you brush constently... i had many cavitys from the soda drinking... and lets just say its not fun getting your whole right side of the mouth being numb. esspecially when it starts to unnumb and where they had the needle starts to hurt... ><'''

~Ames

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/23329570/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/23329570/ Sat, 21 Feb 2009 18:12:20 PST While thats going on, I'm learning a bit about my love life. I really don't think I've ever had some one cling me to so much as my current does. *sigh* Hes a good guy. Theres just... Things I need to sort out in my life before I settle and hes not quite understanding it. I still and always will have feelings for him, but if he clings to me continueously I may burst. Which I wanna avoid as much as possible. I tryed being nice, but I may start having to be agressive to save him. Yes, to SAVE him. Clinging to me is probably the most stupidest thing a person can do. No offince to my friends or anything, but I have a big heart for most. There will always be a time where either I'm hurt or they're hurt. Right now, its basicly me hurting to save their hurt. Sucks nonetheless, then again theres still that little bit of releif knowing I could save a crack of a heart. Theres still things in my life I'd like to do before I settle on one person. A few that I wish to see before i can go "I WANT THIS ONE" and have the person say the same.

Anyway, on to a slightly less depressing subject.
PAINTING! Its really fun. Kind of disapointed that I have to have the Sketchbook Monday's but oh well, you fans will get more drawings. =3
I'm looking into drawing my boy angel a second half with a demon girl. Hopfully I'll pull it off. If not, well i'll try later. Dosn't hurt to add onto a drawing and make it awesome. I may paint them together if I get a chance too.
Right now in painting, we are taking a peice of a picture, putting it on our painting and painting around it with using color and our imagination. It doesn't sound as hard as it is. Trust me, i can't find any pictures i'd be able to imaginate from. x_X its frustrating.
Till next time~
VA

PS. I'M GOIN TO THE DISTURBED CONCERT ON MAY 8!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... !!!!

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/22798108/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/22798108/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:16:49 PST
All in all this year has been decent. Yes, there have been points where i've been depressed but it doesn't even compair to last year.

As of now, i'm probably still failing Geometry and will need to retake it in the summer. But other then Geom. i'm passing all my classes, including English. =3

Finals are this thursday and friday. I don't know what to do for Study hall yet. I take my Geom final the first hour then i have nothing to do until after orchestra unless orchestra has a pizza party for lunch which i have no clue if Mr. Saliny is actually planing that. I'll have to find out soon before hand.

Other than finals, my bf has gone to Mexico with his aunt and cuz for a week. He said he'd bring me something even though i told him not to. Hes only been gone one day and i've been lonely. =/ i hope this week flies as fast as this half year.

Its kind of nice to be able to sit and type out a journal in the morning of sunday without having to worry about going some where. Quietly listening to some peaceful music and drinking my Coke Zero.
This probably won't last long. I'll probably get trampled by some one today or homework... Which reminds me I still have english homework i should work on.

Eh, i'll keep draging on this momment. I never get times like this anymore. Zeke always sweeps me away to hang at his place or to work out on sunday.

In may, Disturbed is comming... o-o which i'm SO going to. And that reminds me of Prom which is close to that as well... Prom is in the last week of April and the Disturbed concert is on the 8th. o.O shit... WELL i should try to sell some art or something. Maybe go play my violin to see if i collect anything. XD get some cash.

Hm. I should go practice. Maybe thats what i can do today. =3 that and a shower. Ick. its what i get for being a bum.

Until next time~ VA

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/22215011/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/22215011/ Fri, 26 Dec 2008 18:45:12 PST
]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/21968067/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/21968067/ Sat, 13 Dec 2008 17:46:41 PST I forgot to bring my box home cause I caught a cold and was gone Thursday and Friday. Which my bf had to bring me my home work. (<3 ^//^ hes so thoughtful <3)
Though, I am attempting to draw a vision of a Demon/anthro-bat in my head. =3 its sexy and creepy at the same time. And I know if its done before, then its quite rare. because i've never seen it ANYWHERE... ^^ Yay for original ideas.
hopefully if i do get it drawn, i can make more pictures of it.

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/21682559/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/21682559/ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:24:44 PST
Anyway, i'm trying to draw out the main character. So far what i have sketched is kind of crappy. I will hopefully do a better job at it and draw the face diffrent for like the fiftyith time... Yeah, i suck at drawing profiles that don't already exist.

As for other drawings, they just kind of come and go. Many are Doodles, I never know what to draw anymore. And when I do, I have trouble drawing them. Its kind of like Writers block, only... for drawing. That and knowing whats wrong just don't know how to fix it without drawing what you just had on the paper.

I wish to get paintings done and on here. But alas I do not have canvas's nor a whole lot of acrilic paint. I do not have any oil paints and I lost my paint brushes in the black abiss of my closet.

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/21393631/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/21393631/ Sat, 08 Nov 2008 18:52:22 PST School is doing well since the death of Eric.
I've got some one who won't let me go in relationship wise, so I may complain about that. In which case, if I do feel free to ignore it unless I'm all "I need serious help" with it.
I'm trying to keep up with looking at art of people I watch, so trust me when i say I do look at the art. I just don't leave comments.
I'm looking for a job that I know i'll be good at. Something obviously in art or music. Sadly, i'm having no luck finding either thing in this town....

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/21152231/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/21152231/ Sat, 25 Oct 2008 08:58:16 PDT Friday morning a friend picked me up. We laughed and talked of random things. Minuets before the first bell to get to class rang, while i sat with another friend, my friend Mandi and Carrie spoke about everyone talking queitly in the halls. I asked them what happend about five times before Mandi responded "Eric ness was killed in a car crash." I fell silent. "Thats what i did.." Carrie spoke when she saw my expression.
When the bell rang, i gave my hug and kiss to my bf then took off in silance to my locker.
The halls were silent as I grabed my Geometry things. I was still in shock. I thought it was a joke....
I got into geometry. The whole class was queit... And most of my Geom. class was underclassmen. The teacher got up when the second bell rang and said "I'm sure you all heard of the accident... " And continued on about it. She read the Email that was sent to all teachers. She even got the artical from the NR news paper... She started to tear up and in the prosses she coughed to hide it... She told us if we didn't want to the test that day because we were so sad we couldn't, we could write her a note and take it the next week. I still took the test. Though i felt like crying...
Next class, in econ... I sat down and as my buddy jordan came in, she had red eyes. She was crying about it. The teacher said we could have a free day since the bank resegualed to come in. We watched Monsters Inc. that would have nothing to do with death. The class was silent once again. Others had red eyes from crying too...
Third hour gym... Brianna and jordan started to cry as the teacher mentioned the death. So i started to cry too. Sam left because she couldn't take it seeing how as her brother just died like a week ago. My friend Alex started to cry... he doesn't normally cry... The walk we took around for gym was even quiet. James, another classmate, talked to a guy named Mike to keep their minds off it.
Lunch was half empty... Most junoirs were at the library probably bawling. carrie was going nuts because of the silence. cody kept asking questions... after i was done eating, i sat by the wall over by the commons like the rest of the group. A freshman friend sat by me. I asked him why he would sit next to me while i'm sad... he didn't seem to bothered that i was sad. Abs sat between us later after she was done and when she disappered again, he scooted closer... heh, i think he was getting ready to comfert me if i started to cry...
About all of the junoirs in orchestra were gone except for me, Dani, Abby, Cody and maybe another who cryed earlier so i'm guessing she felt better enough to come to class. Abby showed me a poem she wrote to make people feel better when it made them cry. Then she was like "What the hell, i try to make people happy and it reverses" which i laughed at. she put the collar i gave her on the ground and i said something. shes like "oh, i'll pay you for that..." and she offered me a penut... i laughed my head off and she was like "What... what did i do..." she made me feel better...
Art didn't go so well. Again quiet. Eric was in that class... We spoke about funny things he did and such as we knited for art.
Study hall I went to the pit... some friends showed up. I sat by them... and i stayed there through english class as well... i didn't bother going to english at all the last hour... i stayed there with my buddy from english who mourned.

Monday will be worse... Everything will have sunk into people... So... incase you see depressing pictures, this may be why... or why i am not drawing at all.
Do not call me disrespectful for putting the RIP.
One, i have a right to as i mourn in sadness for him. Two, yes I am showing that hes dead, but it is no joke. As you can tell, i'm not happy at all. I told once that it was disrespectfull. I do not intend on it happening again. Thank you.


RIP Eric Ness~ I will never forget your smile that lit up the room, or your funny ways of making people happy... <3

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20933001/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20933001/ Sat, 11 Oct 2008 07:45:19 PDT Und i am the violinist....




~May Vince RIP (Birth:4-20-, Died 10-9/10-08. I believe he was 30 y/o.)~

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20884591/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20884591/ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 04:48:49 PDT So as you can see, I've been busy. I have an idea for an animation or atleast a comic of some sort. I don't know if i'll ever get it done. I plan to make a picture that some how represents it.
I've been listening to these three songs and they gave me the idea for it. But i'm not sure how to draw it...

Next art thing that will be scaned: Clay plate when its graded and handed back...
After that: A warped picture of a panda... O-o thats not very warped either... ><

After that... i don't know...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20763032/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20763032/ Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:23:09 PDT 002. Nickname → bub, princess, ect...
003. Status → taken
004. Zodiac sign → Aries
005. Male or female → female
006. Primary School → Place I'm at?
007. Secondary School → ...wha?
008. 6th Form → ... a bunny?
009. Smart → at art und music
010. Hair colour → origianlly dirty blond, but dyed auburn und blueblack
011. Long or short → long
012. Loud or Quiet → Depends on my mood but loud is fun
013. Sweats or Jeans → jeans
014. Phone or Camera → Camera
015. Health freak → *drinks Mountain dew and eats chips*...
016. Drink or Smoke? → no
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → mm, not really no
018. Eat or Drink → *points to health freak thing*
019. Piercings → Ears, i want more though
020. Tattoos → plan on getting sound holes (or F-holes as they are known for their shape from a violin) on my back as well as wings

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → ears
024. First best friend → Brad
025. First award → Solo Ensomble
026. First crush → Alex?
027. First pet → Cody, my old guinea pig
028. First big vacation → none but i was in Chicago for orchestra...
030. First big birthday → none
049. Eating → ... donno
050. Drinking → mountain dew?
052. I'm about to → go take a nap
053. Listening to → the Mirical Elixar song from Sweeney Todd
054. Plans for today → homework, sleep, draw

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? → nuu...
059. Want to get married? → sure
060. Careers in mind → Anything in art or design

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes → eyes
070. Shorter or taller? → tall
072. Romantic or spontaneous → ..mm... donno
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → stomach!
074. Sensitive or loud → loud when energetic, sensitive when normal
075. Hook-up or relationship →hook-up
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → depends on what he likes...

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → no
081. Ran away from home → nope, thought of it though
084. Broken someones heart → ... uh, i don't think so...
085. Been arrested → No but i'll laugh when if i'm ever arrested
087. Cried when someone died → yes

DO YOU BELIEVE:
089. Yourself → no
090. Miracles → yes, i love them. they've saved my ass so many times
091. Love at first sight → when i'm going for looks, yes
092. Heaven → ... no
093. Santa Claus → is SATAN
094. Sex on the first date → no
095. Kiss on the first date → how long have we know each other
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → not complaining
099. Do you believe in God → i do not
100. Post as 100 truths and tag → who ever feels like it


I'm bored so i thought i should do this... xD
I hope you like my wolf.
Right now in art we are working on Plates. tomorrow we are glazing. We are also working on worped pictures... i'm doing a panda... Yay panda!

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20462168/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20462168/ Fri, 12 Sep 2008 20:40:54 PDT
Met an actual german wihtout going to germany! whoo.
still gonna meet the Brazilian guy...
(exchange students)

I get many hugs from my friend... which makes my day a whole lot better.
I'm working on violin music for my sisters wedding... Uhh... still trying to get a job. I have a babysittin job tomorrow.
This week has gone good... I hope the rest go even better!
may my friends in college not starve or die from poorness... =/

VA

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20204431/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20204431/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:45:15 PDT I'm still reading Breaking Dawn. I hope to have a comment on it as soon as i'm done....
Also, I picked up a new book from Walmart. At the moment i can't remember what its called but i'll get back at that to see if anyone has read it.

Til next time
VA

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20165253/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20165253/ Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:10:02 PDT
Black

2 What's your first initial?

A

3 What month is your birthday

April

4 Which color do you like more, black or white?
Black

5 Name one of your friends

Abby

6 Name a number 1-100
69

7 Driving or Flying

Driving. (Get off the roads! LOL)

8 Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

Ocean.

9 Think of a wish, but don't write it....



--Answers--

1. If you chose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black : You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love and give good advice to those who are down.
Yellow - You are a very happy person with alot to give.

2. If you're initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great, and eventually you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take you on a different direction, it will seem hard at times but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person is your best friend

6. If it is 1-50 you are a very lovable person and you have a great life
More than 50, screw the world

If you chose:
Flying - You like adventure
Driving - You are a laid back person

8. If you chose:
Lake - You are loyal to your friends, your lover, and yourself
You are very reserved but emotional
Ocean - You are spontaneous and like to please people


9. This wish will come true only if you repost this with the title:
Emotion test, don't cheat.




That was fuuuuuuuuuuuun. xD

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20102271/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/20102271/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 19:32:32 PDT Well it seems I may or may not have anything in tomorrow if I do draw something. I've got a babysittin job. And by the time school starts, I hope to have some more good art work done from being in Art. Comp. so I can take the rest of the art corses.
I do plan to have Midnight Stranger updated ASAP when I work on it more. I know I have to get it done before the next year arives so I can take it to Whitewater. (A writing contest thing)

Also, If theres a picture that would like to be drawn into like a real drawing, feel free to bug me about it... If I'm able to draw the picture with ease, it will cost nothing. But if its a difficult picture, then I'll do a trade of some sort. Or, name your own price. Whatever floats your boat. -shrug-

Stay tuned for more actual art updates...

PS!!! =O The sad poem thing... I wasn't sure what exact catagory to put it in, so if its out of place, just ignore that. Thank you

~VA

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/19977800/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/19977800/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 20:50:13 PDT
AND! GO CHECK OUT MY BUDDIES ART WORK!


Hes Awesome! Go Go Go! NOW! Before I rip out your heart from the opposite side of your body and feed it to the demons inside my head...

~VA

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/19827662/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/19827662/ Mon, 11 Aug 2008 20:59:33 PDT -Clean room *Is Done*
-Get new mp3 and headphones
-Get job
-Do algebra packet (... even if i forgot everything)
-Finish Breaking Dawn
-Get abby a b-day present
-Get Ian a b-day present
-Be happy...*Is Done*
-Bug the crap out of Stitch... *Is done*
-find violin music for wedding *working on now*
-clean room agian *Working on*
-draw more *working on*
-actually sleep good
-get a life *Found one*
-clean room for a third time
-put diffrent music on mp3 *After computer is fixed*
-charge mp3
-Some how mangage to survive on own
-finally be alone
-become violinist (a pro at it)
-buy a Saliny made violin (whoo! teacher's sibling makes them... )
-become major artist...
-some where in all that go to college
-Learn German
-go to Germany
-Make dress


Still working on a lot of this...

~VA

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/19827440/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/19827440/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:51:02 PDT
Today as my father was comming home, my mother was turning on her cell incase my dads friend called to help farm, my dog was barking at him comming in the drive way... He hoped down and started to whine... I looked over my shoulder to see that he wasn't dashing out like he normally does. I quickly got up to find him stuck on the afgan on the loveseat in the living room. His back nail was caught and ripping on the piece of yarn. I held him to try to get it unstuck and mother said something. She came over and acted as if it was all fine EVEN THOUGH the dog was whineing when shes always complaining of us being careful so he doesn't hurt his back. (Because hes a Dachsand or a hunting weenier dog... )Ugh... i'm not happy about that....

Though I am glad a buddy is comming back from Basic. (army training) J-man has been gone a while and it gets lonely without him. (j-man being his nickname i gave him) Tomorrow i'm going to the bowling ally behind my house to go bowling with him and other people who are celebrating his graduation and come back

As for why i've been gone for a weekend, I was away helping my friend puting up a pool... I got sunburn on my wrist where it was white and that i normally have my watch there, around my neck where my shirt didn't cover and every place ached... after a day or two it felt better... >.<

Also, I have got my dress for my sisters wedding if I had not said that earlier... I'm still looking for violin music, so if anyone here plays, give me some ideas! I'm hoping my friend can join me in playing because i don't wanna feel alone being the only violinist there... I still have to warm up to the feeling of many listening to my music and not a whole group with me in it... I'm quite nervous about it. Its going to be my family and my sisters fence's family, but I don't know her fence's side... I've never actually played for my own family. Some friends will be there as well. (friends of mother and sister) I'm stressed out about that as well...

I'm stressed out about school comming in 33 days too. I haven't gotten my schegual... I still think thats going to change, or some one is going to change it. I still have to retake a semester of English 10 over because of my failing grade... (stupid english, i even tryed hard to pass at the end of the year) I'm still confused whether my art teacher will as why am I in Art Comp. when she said i can pass it and go streight to drawing. (you have to take Art. Foundations and art comp before going to drawing, painting, ect.) I'm hoping i won't loose one of my study halls. I made sure i had one each semester so i'm not overloaded with homework when i come home. I still have to find my Algebra packet and finish that for Geometry... it IS worth points. and i'm not done with it... not even half done... x_X

Whoo... Thats a lot of my mind... Wish me luck for the future on it all~
VA

OH!! I got Breaking Dawn as well, the forth book to Twilight.

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/19259623/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/19259623/ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 17:38:29 PDT So here gos the rollercoaster again. I have no fucking clue what I'm going to do. Men have their hearts set upon me, but I may not be able to conseal them. They will be extreamly heart broken. My friend spoke of draging me to Florida after High school to go live by her love. I have no problem with that part. Its the fact an Ex lives down there that I truely charrished... The reason why we broke up was because we both needed some one to actually hold and love. But the bad part is... if I go back and hes still single, he will most likely wish to get back together... It would be to hard to say no. Most of my buddies say go and get a carrer that the men's hearts will heal. I'm sure they won't heal... and in that case, i may not have a even a friend to go back to...

I don't exactly care if any one reads this... I just needed to say something...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18990882/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18990882/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 21:11:36 PDT So... I'm going to apply at the Mc. Donalds in town. Not so proud to work at that place, yet I would be happy to have a job. Something to do then sit on my ass ALL DAY and do nothing. Thats what else I have planned this summer other then simply reading all the books I possibly can to outbeat an English teacher...
A crap load of things have got me thinking that have to do with the whole job, life, carrer thing. It appears that next year, junior year!, the school will be pressureing us into getting shit for college. Yeah. Not to fun, of course I have something to yell at them for! Its that "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FU** I'M GONNA DO AND I LIKE IT THAT DAM WAY SO STOP ASKING ME!" I'll probably end up at an Art Institute or some random cheep college that will help teach me German and teach me to play the violin with Gusto... [Yay, i love my prince V.(violin)] Then that got me thinking of life... I already know life is giong to be hard because our world can't do a dam thing with eachother without fighting, so then the goverment sucks. I know I'm going to rock at whatever I do because it will be something I enjoy and i'm good at. [thus the whole art thing]THAN COMES THE LOVE! Oo, some who say love is over rated need to get laid. I mean really. Its like the only thing that can cheer a person up and forget of most hardships around them. (haha, the baby boom after the war. xD LMAO!) I... Have my eye on a future with some one, lets just say... I figure I have to work for it more then a normal peron would, again with the whole prices of everything going up. I find love to be quite intresting. Hell. It will suck at times. Then again, life sucks at times. So its all good. Equals out some where, just have to keep to all the good out looks of things so you don't end up in a depression hole like i once did... Uh, talk about death knockin on my head. Anyway, I would be surprised to any one reading this because basicly my Journal on here is bable of things going on and running through my head. Sometimes important to read to make sure i'm not in death stage.

There is one thing tonight i can't stop thinking about that continueuslly runs through my head... some one saying "I would give my life to see you smile." I was speachless. Tears filled my eyes and I could no longer look at it without trying not to cry...

DLF

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18915639/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18915639/ Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:27:36 PDT friday the 13th... I was walking home from a gas station not far from our street with a soda and some guys stopped. "Hey babe. Want a ride?" Spoke the man on the passenger side. I turned around and looked then continue to walk. "Naw." I replyed. "You sure?" The man asked curiously. "Yep." I continued to walk down the ends of the lawns. ... it frightend me... i thought they were going to steal me or something... And I have to walk home tomorrow as well as Friday... D: some one save me?
neh... none of you will, i'm sure... oh well, i'll just go be raped and stabed... [kidding kidding... least not on purpous anyway]
... i'm bored! ... some one come entertain me...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18787633/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18787633/ Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:02:44 PDT >
<<
Anyway, I got the new Disturbed Cd. My sister picked it up for me. Ohh, its so pretty, its blue and black. The new music is awesome too. I guess I don't really have my favorite song off it. Maybe Inside the Fire, but thats played a lot... I do like Enough. Disturbed keeps comming up with good music. I'm sure soon enough, I'll simply mark them as my favorite band because I don't really have one and I really like Disturbed. Its crazy. On Inside the Fire the singer, who i can't think of his name right now, laughs manaiacly. Ah, its hawt!
Summer school is going pretty good, except for the fact I'm getting a C in Sci. and a D+ in English. I guess the D is because i forgot to turn in two voc. sheets from one of the things. But the C in sci. can't be good because we just took a test and I have a feeling I failed it. Which could take my grade down. And if I fail now, then he (the teacher) could ask me to leave and I would have to retake a semester of bio. Ugh. I just fail at tests too. Its not exactly fare on my part. I just hope I pass enough so it doesn't fail me. I seemed to have picked up a friend in summer school as well. His name is Josh. A younger sibling to some one I think is too cool that graduated this year. I may have made another friend as well. His name is Kamrin. (not sure if thats spelled right... ) He's in Josh's grade. Kamrin is very... quiet. He doesn't talk a lot. He seems to like to spin his flash drive on his neck strap, along with his bike key on it, at Josh. It's kind of funny. Though it hurts.
As for books i'm going through, You can check them out on Shelfari.com. I'm serious, if oyu are a big book nerd, go there. You will love it. My english teacher showed it to me and I fell in love with the site. Mr. Ayer put it as a Myspace for books. But less info givin out on the person on his/her profile. I've finished Vampire Kisses four. I'm still waiting for the fifth to come into the library. I also got a hold of the 12th Cirque Du Freak book and i'm reading that as well as Mein Kampf by Hitler. Yes, i'm reading what everyone calls the Nazi Bible. Eh, i wanted to find out how Hitler's mind worked. I'm not a nazi! I'm sorry, I don't believe in it. Though, i do believe Hitler was a great man. If he hadn't used his power for evil, i'm sure this world would be a hell of a lot better.
Chinchilla. I don't believe I spoke of Daiqiuri before. Shes so cute! Shes fuzzy, grayish and white. She has a Fur chewing problem, so i'm keeping a close eye on her. But I let her run around my room and she enjoys it. I've got the main elecrical outlits covered in some way so she can't get to it while i turn my back for a second. Though she can still get at them so I have to watch her. She hops around like a squirrl and loves to go under my bed where its dark; she runs over the big tupaware things i have under neath my bed as well.
Well, I guess I don't have too much else to say. I haven't had any ideas for drawing, though I want so much to paint. I'm guessing i'm going to apply at the library and hope i get the job because I really don't want to work at a fast food or something with pets. I love animals but they are too much work for me... Little critters i could take care of like snakes, chinchillas, hampsters, rabbits, and guinea pigs, but i don't like half the dogs they have where they keep pets... >.<

To Stitch: bloody hell, why must you be away... >.> you poofed like at that one exact time... the one i never thought could happen... then i haven't seen you on msn since and it anoys me. <.<

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18468518/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18468518/ Fri, 23 May 2008 18:50:12 PDT <

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18430938/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18430938/ Wed, 21 May 2008 13:03:43 PDT
]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18368309/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18368309/ Sat, 17 May 2008 14:10:01 PDT
]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18216853/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18216853/ Wed, 07 May 2008 18:32:08 PDT < hate the thought... Also... In a way, I wanted to go into the forces myself. Problem is, with my strength i probably couldn't last a week without passing out cold. I know they would pay for schooling... I think they still do anyway, but that would be the only worth it part for me... And if another war were to break out and I be sent wherever... Lets just say, i would die in five seconds of standing there...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18198295/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18198295/ Tue, 06 May 2008 15:04:17 PDT >;;;;;;;;;;; <<;;;;;;;;

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18088948/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18088948/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:59:55 PDT
~VA

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18040360/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/18040360/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 14:53:18 PDT
Ugh, i'm so bored and I don't want to do my history notes right now...
Only good thing about this day is that i know my friend is going to prom which should be something to help cheer her up, and the fact that yesterday i went to her house and played video games with her... xP

Other then that, i'm simply bored... hmm

*Huggles her beloved Iraku*

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17883019/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17883019/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:39:32 PDT
Are you afraid, afraid of the truth
In the mirror staring back at you.
The image is cracked but so is the view, here.
And the strength of a tree begins in the roots
That I tend bury into you
At least now the storm can't blow me away.

So crawl inside my head with me.
I'll show you how it feels to be,
To blame like me.

Should I be afraid of this face that I see
In the mirror staring back at me?
So cold were the days when I listened to you.
And you say that I'm weak so show me the proof
Because I still exist in spite of you
But I won't compete with you every day.

So crawl inside my head with me.
I'll show you how it feels to be,
To blame like me.

Schizophrenic conversations that
I'm always having with myself.
I hear these voices in my head competing.
Maybe I could use a little help
I still have schizophrenic conversations
Where there's no one else around to hear.
I long for solitude and peace within me
Void of all the anger and the fear.

So crawl inside my head with me.
I'll show you how it feels to be,
Fu**ed up like me.

I'll show you how it feels to be
To blame like me
Ashamed like me



Yeah... I guess, i do have voices in my head... I haven't reilized it though until just recently so I wonder if it just started to happen, or if i've had it a long time and never payed attenchion to what it could be... I'm not sure if i am Schizphrenic and chances i'm not... But It still leaves me curious~

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17866305/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17866305/ Tue, 15 Apr 2008 14:50:18 PDT
]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17833144/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17833144/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 13:43:07 PDT On this day, my guinea pig Postoolio passed away... Laying next to the side of the cage and slightly curved around his food dish...
Last night... I figured he would pass away soon... So, before i could go to sleep, i mourned for him... Today i still try not to cry... It hurts a lot... Even though I know some day i'll probably have another pet or have a job taking care of them in the pet Dep. in one of the stores here... My mother put him in a candle box she found in my room in a washcloth and put him in the freezer until the ground is thawed enough to go and burry him in the yard some where....

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17774402/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17774402/ Thu, 10 Apr 2008 04:36:42 PDT Exept for today i got something every female gets AND just yesterday i got a cold of some sort so now i feel like crap phyiscally... Which is bad because our english paper is due tomorrow and i don't have everything checked off which means it willl probably be late and i'll probably fail it like my last one thus keeping my grade at an F and making me have to retake the damn semester in like junior or senior year because i don't think i can just use another credit for that..

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17588187/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17588187/ Sun, 30 Mar 2008 11:10:23 PDT < so... if anyone can be a body gaurd, it would be greatly appreshiated...
also, i think i found out i'm bipolar... .. yeah, not good... ><
ANYWAY!... i'm sleepy... i should be going outside looking for a stick [for a wand] but i'm still in my pjs... yep... bored...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17496130/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17496130/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:27:34 PDT
*huggles *Iraku *

Yep, pretty much just being lazy about now though... Oh well... *Yawns* ... I need a nap...
~VA

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17480255/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17480255/ Sun, 23 Mar 2008 18:20:18 PDT hmm... still goin through mood swings of depression, don't know whta to do about it, but hopefully will get something to help...eh, i can't think of anything more. Tata

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17352489/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17352489/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 19:06:19 PDT
]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17349212/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17349212/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 15:09:55 PDT
Wait... I've just come onto something... Why do parents yell at their kids to get better grades when it does nothing but stress them out more and make them fail even more??
I still don't get that... Got any answers or suggestions on it thats not telling me to work better go ahead and say... I'm already trying harder... but i guess its not enough....

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17256118/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17256118/ Sun, 09 Mar 2008 13:02:20 PDT so, the thing i saw yesterday still haunts me but not as bad... good thing too... anyways... I'M BORED!
... so talk to me peoples....
also, ignore the mortified mood thing... i couldn't change that because my computer hates me...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17243317/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17243317/ Sat, 08 Mar 2008 16:27:53 PST Now, please exuse me while i go puke of the nasty site i saw of Livestock of humans...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17181305/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17181305/ Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:34:13 PST 'Oh, this is already done, no worries.'
'life is great, i love people'
'my music helps me express my feelings as well as my art'

Bah... i can't stand it... There's even one problem i hate looking at but its the one thats hit me the most... I would happily say it, but i'm afraid if people from school read it they will not understand...
All I can say is :iconStitch-wicked knows exactly what i'm talking about...
Well I'm off to my little lies once again, off to make myself even more missurable once more...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17144823/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17144823/ Sun, 02 Mar 2008 07:53:30 PST And of course having my friends there always help... like Brian, abby and many more peoples that love me

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17083904/ http://Death-Lust-Female.deviantart.com/journal/17083904/ Wed, 27 Feb 2008 04:51:34 PST Okay, well... lets just say, that pill didn't do its job one night and i got really close to doing what 'emos' do... i had a mental break down... i think this was on sunday night... like at 9... after i cried and all the painful thoughts started to calm down i started to continue to read the book Cut... which i guess was spos to keep me away from the pain and ect again that night until i went to bed... i woke up really tired and shakey too. Sadly, i never did get to talk to my school councler about this, and don't mention it to my mom unless it continues... [[talking about the people who know me from school]]other wise i'm going to have to have more hell to try to blow over...

]]> ~Death-Lust-Female