http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:DeatheningForHavoc&section=today deviantART RSS for by:DeatheningForHavoc en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:32:50 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/28374112/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/28374112/ Sun, 15 Nov 2009 12:13:41 PST
Yesterday... I was so excited..
Everything is falling into place..
I like someone, and they say they like me back. I'm going to spend time with my friends and see a movie, which we haven't done in a long time.. And then i'll be spending the next day with the one i really like..

I was so excited, i had been talking about pretty much since Wednesday. Saturday rolled around, and i woke up at about 10~ in the afternoon because i needed to take a shower.. When i opened the door, a release of air coming from those fat little nostrils came forth. There sat Ryoko, looking up at me like "Morning! Can i sleep in your bed?" like she usually does... It was such a nice greeting, for such a perfect day. I said "Hey Pokies, morning." and petted her...kissed between her eyes and went to the shower...

After the shower, i began cleaning... I noticed there was an absence in my dogs, but i figured they were just with Tara, or sleeping in my parents room still...
And so i cleaned, for an hour or so. I look into my mum's room and see a fat little Ryoko laying against my mum's clothes hangers. I go in and pet her, because i felt like i should. That kind of ...absent feeling, where you know you have to say something, but you can't remember.. So i told mum she had a fat lazy dog in her room.. We stared at Ryoko and pet her, her fat-winces coming forth everytime i moved my hand, and my mum making fun of her tired face, with her puffy lip.

I leave, because i wanted to get cleaning-time done before Zazu and Kendra arrive.. And i also wanted to talk to Braden and Gina for a little..

Which is exactly what happened, i got dressed after talking to them, and left with Zazu and Kendra...
We went to Larkin's, of which we stayed at not too long. We left with the family to Wallingford, and there to Stellars; which is a Pizza restaurant which also sells beer in pitches [it's pretty intense ._.]
I noticed it was getting pretty late, yet we were eating. So i asked Zazu when the movie was starting [Men Who Stare to Goats] she said "9:40"

I had no idea; but i knew that my curfew is 10-12... So i called the house.. Tara picks up, and i couldn't hear very much because of the restaurant. Tara tells me to call Mum on her cellphone. So i do. I tell mother i'll be home late, because of the late showing. She said she was visiting my Aunt Meichelle (Meichelle has been sick the past week or two because of a heart condition. She may die, so my parents have been visiting her often..) Mother says to call her when the movie is done. I said "Alright." and hung up..

After photo-booth pictures, making fun of Mclane, and drawing on "HEY KIDS, TELL YOUR PARENTS TO BUY MORE BEER" coloring-sheets. There i told them about how my mother said we might be taking my Aunt's dog Busa {Which is a Mastiff mix with Pitbull} and how excited i am to have three pitbulls. But it will be scary, because there's two girls, but one guy... But we'd figure it out.

We left for U-district/Wallingford area soon after.

On the way there we got lost. It was so fun. We yelled and screamed, told each other stories... Panicked, screamed more. It was our time, we were together, and it was so nice..

We walk around the area once we park, and find a bathroom in the 7/11 where we took pictures and frolicked. We went back to the MoonDog place, where they make home-made icecream.. It's really good, but the line was too long! We decided to forget the icecream and go to the movies.

The movie was funny. I'm a hard ass, so i didn't laugh tons (although it was still very funny : ) ). But Zazu was laughing THE WHOLE TIME.

We talk about the movie, and how much Zazu laughed while the credits rolled. We were there until everyone cleared the theater. We walked out, and i was following Larkin... she was going to the bathroom, so i texted Braden... I thought about not calling my mum; but then i realized that it's late already, and if we do something more i'll need to call her anyway.

So i called..
She picked up the phone, as if exhausted, and balling, she said "India, come home now" "What's wrong?!" i thought my aunt had died, to be honest... And i was expecting it, so i wasn't too surprised if that was the reply. But it wasn't... through the shitty reception of both of our phones i hear "Dogs escaped...Dead... Trying to find Kameko"

By this time Larkin was already out of the bathroom, she was staring at me... I felt like my eyes were going to fall out of my head... The image that came to mind were my dogs being ran over. I almost instantly cried, if it weren't for Larkin's quick embrace. I began to panic, and i couldn't find my words. I hung up on my mum and Larkin and i raced down the stairs to Zazu.. Where i .. guiltily, freaked out and told her i need to go home as soon as possible...

I... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/28257501/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/28257501/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 22:02:11 PST
So i may have mentioned a couple of new people in my last entry [and entry somewhere!?]
1-K'nuckles/Nick Russel
2-Braden
3-Brandon

So... facebook? K'nuckles/Nick decided to link me to OMGpop because he was trying to get as many people in..and i had fun, and then i petted him at skool and was like "LUL I PLAYED A GAME WITH YOU LAST NIGHT ;3" and then we became instafriends and Skyped like every night and OMGpop'd every night too
Not long after while on OMGpop K'nuckles says "Hey Braden's on!"
So we go play with him
And our group becomes K'nuckles, Braden, and me... Every night.

Well, Braden is friends with Brandon, and i talked to Brandon like..once at the beginning of the year because it was Amelia, Braden and Brandon...

Braden ends up being on Oxy one day and chilled with me, fortunately. :3 Cause no one was there that day D:

So we've been like bofflofs since

And because i talk to K'nuckles and Braden so much they talk about Brandon [sometimes i bring him up for the lulz]
and i found out Brandon likes to draw {and he's in my art class : o}

So i've been...in and out talking to him... Found out he's a GoreFiend : DDDDD

Also: Braden started cuddling me first XD and now he's my cuddlebuddy because Larkin has a stupidboyfriend who's she's confusing me about and she doesn't want fuckin' cuddles from India D:<

anyway... So literally, within about 2-3 weeks i've gotten new friends.
And they are fulfilling my boredly life.

One i'm working on xD and it's increasingly hard to. But i think Brandon wants to talk to me sometimes too, cause we make tons of eyecontact but never say anything D:

Aside from new friends! LM.C released their new album, me thinks..cause i'm listening to what they have on myspace right now : o

Until...that very second when myspace decided it didn't want me to listen any more -_-

School is more stressing than i want it to be -_-
Like, this fucking magazine project for Darnell
Stressed about it as soon as he said "Group Projeckt" two weeks prior to it's alleged due date

YEAH FUCKTHAT
One group member was hospitalized-but he wasn't the problem. He did everything on time.

Kylee and Steph took forever to send me their shit so i could print it out
and i worked
and then on Saturday i was only able to get the sections i had done-AKA Andrew's and mine...

And today it was due, i had no clue, and didn't even bring it. I almost broke down crying during lunch... It was pretty fucking horrible, tbh.
But Mr. Darnell was nice and said he'd take our info and grade it on that.... Which means we only get like 1/5 the grade AT BEST


So i'm pretty pissed at myself for not doing as much as i could in the three hours-2 hours i spent last night instead talking to Braden
XD but i feel like i can also justly blame Kylee and Steph for sending me it TOO FUCKING LATE

Everyone's getting oollldddd

Uhhh.. i actually had something worth saying..

Well the rest of the schoolness is going alright. So USH, MATH and Mr. Harvey is killing me [WEEjyamaya]
FFFFFFFFF i rage at least once a week in his class

He's really fucking killing me..

I FOUND MY TWILIGHT PRINCESS WII GAME DISK

OHHHgoodness

I'll be playing that again [xD even though i still need to return Bogmonster's Castlevania D:::]

yeah..that's all for this month so far...




->
List to do
-Clean my room [more]
-Clean my desk -_-~
-Sweet lola outfits
-be more creative
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama,ect]
-get better at school
-Buy christmas presents for my desired friends... :3 i gave up -_-
-start a line of Lolita
-learn Japanese
-meet more Jrock bands...
-get a car/Get my license..
-buy cool anime DVDs [Trigun, among many others..]
-finish up my dress

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/27588556/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/27588556/ Sun, 04 Oct 2009 22:20:41 PDT
Life is up and down...
I feel like a jerk, well...

I am a jerk, and i know this.
But i at times feel remorse too..
But like Keara finally realized, i try to do it for the better of my friends. When you're hurt, you learn it better, right?

Well, Harvey is driving me nuts. I can't figure out why he is either -_-
Darnell isn't bad at all. He's cool, and nice. Enthusiastic, like my sister said. But when you're being retarded you DO feel bad because he does that kinda "-_-"/"T_T" to you

Today!

Was the last day of Salmon Days [boo]
I went with Kchan, and it was fun.
We ran around, took pics and videos, and talked with bunches of people i wish i could never associate myself with. Even though, at times, they can be worthy of entertainment.
Oh! And we met up with Zack G and his girlfiend. :3
Zack's the same! He's grown, and his voice is deeper x3 but he's still the same Zack, with his jokes, and his speech-ways. His girlfriend is adorable, like a mouse. And she was very shy...


I'm excited to apply for the Spirit Halloween store that just opened up in Issaquah; but i haven't talked it over with Chris...and i'm unsure how to fill out all of the application xD[lulwut a branch of Spencers!?]

So i have to wait tomorrow when my mum comes home to help me out. And then see if my dad is up to driving me to two different places xDD [he'll probably hate it]

I bought this cool drinking...nozel ...thing..which i updated facebook with; and i'm gonna hang it up super cool.

And then i thought of that yaoi-traditional-japanese-artist dude [who's also famous in Lola stuff, apparently?] and was like "HOSHIT I THINK I'M GONNA MAKE A CHANDELIER OUT OF THIS OOOO"

And then at the SpiritHalloween place they have a smokebubble machine [which reminded me of Val ] which i'm SO excited to buy! Hopefully!
They're everlastingly entertaining

School, i hate it. I hate all the people, and i hate everything that concerns humans x3
Especially Larkin's boyfriend.


Anyway; so everyone's talking about "careers" and what they're doing

So now i'm gonna talk about my current projeckts:

After horribly making KelC's dinosaur bodycostume i received the striped fabric for my "blue and gray" dress design.
So far the pleated skirt has been finished. I kinda messed up already :////// so i'm trying my best to stay super focused on this project because it was SO hard to find this material -_- and i barely have enough for it..

So, my next step for the dress will be the full body. And if i have enough for a corset, then i'll do that. After buying the right boning, of course.

Then i'll buy my no-pill bright yellow Pikachu stuff and somehow find some shoes that will go with it, without being expensive @w@

Oh..and i helped Larkin sew up the sleeves/sew on the sleeves of her GloomyBear outfit [which she is right, she looked like a penis xDDD *OBSCENITY CUT!!!*]
But i am still thoroughly sad that they didn't get the tail on u_u seeing Larkin's bootyshaking a cute wittle stub would be adorable beyond comprehension xD

Speaking of adorableness....WHAT IS OLIVIA BEING?

Zombie walk?????
So far my family's still in, Larkin wants to go, i need to check again what Kendra wants to do.

And of course my VALLLELRIRIEIIER is gonna come; cause she's the craaaziziziest!

Unless mum and i somehow go thrift shopping before then [because we couldn't make it this weekend with me working, and Salmon Days :/] i'll still be Peggy; but with some cobwebs and deader makeup.

My mum? Ionno... i think Tara's in California???? I have no idea?

She's fuckin' crazy and needs get a real life xD but whatever! Her life, and she's enjoying herself, APPARENTLY! But i just have this horrible feeling it will bite her back in the ass.

And i know, if she sees me doing better, she'll try to do something to smite me/mooch. And of course i won't; because i has tough lubs :3


IS VALERIE SUPER EXCITED TO LIVE WITH ME?????

poop

that's all i can think of to say..
Materialism grows strong; some future things seem to be looking up.... And i hate Larkin's boyfriend!

And i'm sewing stuff..


->
List to do
-Clean my room [more]
-Clean my desk -_-~
-Sweet lola outfits
-be more creative
-finish my anime series{or be where they're... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/27084438/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/27084438/ Mon, 07 Sep 2009 21:10:29 PDT
Should i make Axio a Halloween costume for the lulz? If so, what?
I'm also thinking of making him a Bo-peep lola outfit too. Cause i'm kind of obsessed with trying to get my Bo-peep Lola D:<

Also:
For MY Halloween costume; should i go through with being a Bear with Mclane and Olivia [and now newly added Zazu]?
OR
Should i be Pikachu with Val?

they're both superfun sounding
I just don't know what kinda material to do D:


ORRRRRRRRRRR should i continue to raise my money throughout the year until April when i can make my Undertaker cosplay and use it as both Halloween [if i can] and Cosplay?


[edit]

FUUUUUUUUUUUU trying to get my Rasputina discography back... a much needed effort to get back my old music ;A;

Especially because Val listening to Kannon whatsherface reminds me SO MUCH of Ali Project; so i'm going to try to get some of my oldies back ;________;

So far on Rasputina:
OMFGGGSALINESALTQUEEN AND OMFGGGGGG SIGN OF THE ZODIAC, KURAMMAAAAAA
Trenchmouth too!

And most of the long-forgotten-and-very-loved songs by Raspu didn't work ><;;

uhh i don't want to Torrent u_u i hate it

[/edit]

->
List to do
-Clean my room
-Clean my desk -_-~
- Sweet lola outfits
-be more creative
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama,ect]
-get better at school
-Buy christmas presents for my desired friends... :3
-start a line of Lolita
-learn Japanese
-meet more Jrock bands...
-get a car/Get my license..
-buy cool anime DVDs [Trigun, among many others..]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/27043912/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/27043912/ Sat, 05 Sep 2009 21:39:23 PDT
So anyway; skool started. Hate all the people; but that's nothing new.
Classes:
Aday:
Ethnic Studies [Imman, Brianna, and TJ are in my class... And Shinya 1 of the 2 Japanese exchange students]

Art 1 [no one i know in that class. Most of them are freshmen who are fuckin' stupid. The kind of close-minded fuckin' retarded kinds of people. I come to the class and they just watch me. And i watch them back and they still fuckin' watch me.... -_=+]

Learn and Earn Imman is ALSO in this class with me! And Alyssa!! Alyssa is so adorable : D Matt Mcbride is also in this class but i'm pissed at him for being a fuckin' idiot, and a bunch of the other retards i've known since elementary but i don't talk to anymore because they decided they're either "too cool for skool" or "too cool to talk to the likes of" me

Oh- and the Brazilian girl is in that class too..

Japanese 2 Mr. Harvey seems interesting, in that "i'm dork-illy funny" kind of way. But obviously an English major, and when he applied at Liberty put up Japanese thinking he could get the job and not do the class. But knowing Liberty were like "OHH YOU TEACH JAPANESE NOW, even though you just got out of college and your major ISN'T Japanese and you just HAPPEN to know it" because that's our cheap skool...
Oh, and Shinya is ALSO in this class. Which i feel humiliated because Mr. Harvey pronounces Japanese horribly xD

Bday:

English With Mr. Harvey also, so see above.

Geometry because i was held back in Alg1 : o anyway, so Kruzich seems nice... But i feel like i'll get tons of hw again that i won't understand. Like always...

US Hist with Darnell who is fuckin' weird. I only really talk to one person, but Ai [the other Japanese exchange student] who i just smile and ATTEMPT to be friendly with, but i never know what to say to her xD And Juan Rodriguez G something with the rollingR is in there too. Who he's the Spanish exchange student. And...KylieJohnson fangirls over his accent which is retarded... But i also don't blame her because he's actually attractive. And i DO want to get to know him, because he seems really cool....But alas, blaming my father for being a dick again and not letting me learn Spanish when i was younger, so i can't speak to Juan and be like "oh! I know Spanish too, i'm actually Latin! We have something in Common to BEGIN to be SOCIAL with you!" but instead it's like... "*smiles at him every now and then*" FUUUUUU everyfuckin'day

TA for Mr. Oswald which is a ColdWar class i'm taking next semester xD Mr. Oswald is really cool and nice; and he enjoys art and doesn't have TONS of stuff to do. So i'll be doing a lot of art projects, doodles, and other hw in his class which is nice. And i'll actually get to hear his "meaningful conversations"
Like on the first day of being a TA we talked about how fuckin' stupid Twilight has made Vampires, and we talked about the history of Dracula, and how he was inspired by Vlad the Impaler and Mad'ame Bachterry *sp* while i looked at the Lolita site Val sent me :3 and then i drew funny things for Mr.Oswald while he talked to a girl about how she has to pretty much take care of herself and her college plan and career plan....
But the girl is also in my LrnandEarn class and she's fuckin' rude. So i'm on the line between hating her, and just respecting her >_<
Ohyeah, and i became a Ta because there was a hole in my schedule and Mr. Oswald while passing was like "OHHEY AREN'T YOU IN MY COLDWAR?" me: no next semester... but i have a hole in my schedule so maybe? Oswald: BE MY TA me: OMFG OKAY

Anyway, other things.
Working
Hanging out with Val
Zazu's birthday is today; but we had her party yesterday. Which Larkin and Kendra made a angry-bloody bear cake! Which was adorable! And delicioussss!
Mclane had to leave early which was stupid D: poor Mclane needs to do LESS things!

Olivia was adorable and made shirts
Rosie was being ...Rosie and crazy xDD
While i attempted to entertain Zazu and make her stay out of the kitchen...

Uhhh before that..let's see....yeah not much.
I've been going through old CDs again; and i decided to listen to my Bright Eyes compilation CD which i have avoided for a LONG time because the majority of it is Xmas song covers... But the NONE xmas song covers are really great and so i'm kind of obsessed with BE again xD and i need to borrow/buy more CDs eventually...
I guess i'm obsessed with them again because they...ONCE AGAIN kind of explain how i feel in a very poetic way..

Such as "I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck" "I want a boy who's to drunk he doesn't talk" most of all these ones: "I want a meaning i can memorize~" "I w... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/26308463/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/26308463/ Fri, 31 Jul 2009 22:47:36 PDT
Candy teacups, eat them.....
Howabout a restaurant where you can order tea/drinks of your liking, and you can eat the cups : D?

Now watch some restaurant open in a coupla months/year or so with this idea

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

on a side note: i'm in a very srsbsns mood

I hate everything, everyone, no exceptions
I'm tired of being used again...
I'm tired of getting my hopes up...again...

I've also been scrounging around in old songs/videos/people again... Please allow me to share the un-hyper wealth of oldmusicvideos

->

[link]
[Gina sent me this one, and to this day i adore her voice at some parts, even if the lyrics are a tad funny :3]

[link]
Because after watching the movie i became obsessed with trying to find the movie/watch it. Finally watched it, it's beautiful; The video is well-made, and the first time watching it, it brought me to tears. Even moreso after watching the actual movie and you know the exact emotions felt throughout the parts. [ Yann]

[link]
Mad'ame had posted this on her journal long ago; fell in love with both the videogame and Gregory and the Hawk...Unfortunately, i can't find the videogame in English to buy D:

[link]
Old is old, very obviously since this was made when BBM was still new [and before i had even seen it]. Colorblind is a beautiful song, hands down.

And some of the other songs have just been musicals and instrumental....

And the of course Keichan got be back into Colorbottle's Aoi Hana, Popi, and i found a funny video[s] which i will randomly need to watch xD

->
[link]
[link] [Keara sent me this one xDD]
[link]


And then Kendra reminded me of awesome songs from BeetleJuice [sp!? i know it's not spelled like Beatle or Juice xD]
-> [link]
[link]
Ignore the videos, the songs are obviously delicious.


I also met another Cuban family today.
I wish i was born in Cuba..../i wonder how my life would be there...

[edit]
So i've already read the updated chapters of Kuroshitsuji, and it was ....decent... I like the idea that the manga is more in-depth. But the fact that fuckin' Sebastian has sex with bitchface STILL PISSES ME OFF [though the time, and other things which i will be mentioning soon has eased the pain]

So i finished the series;
The series PISSED ME OFF in the beginning/midway because it wasn't going by the manga, it was just being annoying, and THEN HE HAS SEX WITH SOME CHICK IN THE FUCKIN' SERIES! Pissing me off!
Then it was like "oh! I'm here, but i'm not!" kind of villaineythingy going on..

But the ending has been well worth it [and Grell/Undertaker loveeex3]
The "NOM" of Sebas at the end was adorableee!
and Ciel being like "just do it" xDDDlovesss
but still hates D:::::

Soionno; i'll follow Kuroshitsuji the manga probably still...out of boredoms' sake... And curiosity of the difference between the manga and the series still..
soyeah..Kuroshitsuji..bleh!
[/edit]



List to do
-Buy a tablet
-TA skirt..purse..something ;3;
-Clean my room
-Finish up anything i need for my Axio dollfie chalk for makeup, metalic red eyes, body ;3;
-Clean my desk -_-~
- Sweet lola outfits
-be more creative
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama, Soul Eater, ect]
-get better at school
-figure out a way to die without the chances of living
-kill some people...
-Falls [Black,neon orange, neon green, neon vio... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/25685134/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/25685134/ Wed, 01 Jul 2009 23:21:26 PDT [Edit]
Aunt Delfina passed away yesterday Morning [7/11] at ~9:30 AM
May her dancing heart be happy forever
I felt like this was an important note/addition to this entry. And obviously something that's needed at the top. Goodnight sweet Delfina.
[/Edit]


Just arrived back from California about an hour or/and half ago or so... [currently 10.25]

My mind has been only slightly passive on most of the visit.
There were goods
There were bads

I met more nice people than i did last time- in January.

Well i suppose i should start at the finer point of it all.... [aside from actually half surprising Gina xDD!]

We went to see Aunt Delfina; she's been very sick. She's the oldest of the daughters for my Grandma's family. She's been living off one lung her entire life; and she's lost her ability to keep balanced every now and then [apparently since after her husband died] and falls frequently. She loves her freedom though... She's an old woman, with the traditional Cuban kick of "I'll do whatever the fuck i want, even when i'm old"
Well.... Recently something happened, i forgot what it was now... But then she got pneumonia ontop of whatever it was before. So it made her very ill- then suddenly her diet began to affect her body, and her only lung is filling with fluid and so she needs to be on constant watch... She's not allowed to move, but she does so anyway [x3ohhh Delfina!]

[and side note: from the previous times seeing her; there was a French woman who they were BEST friends! Even though Delfina only speaks Spanish, and the other woman only French, they were the best! I found out the French woman died >: ]

Anyway; we went to go see Aunt Delfi in the old-peoples'-hospital...
My grandma Poepoe has been very anxious in the speech of her sisters, Tia Maria, and Aunt Delfina... D: We go in, and Delfina is sleeping- we wake her up and talk for about two hours. We talk about boys with Tara, boys in Delfina's childhood. My PoePoe puts on Delfina's makeup..it was very sad... Delfina- she was still happy.. She loves the company, she loves to share her stories. But Poepoe is very worried, she doesn't want her sisters to die... She knows she may be next. She wants the best, but at the same time her sorrowful emotions get the better of her...
The only time i have seen Delfina scared was when her hospital-neighbor was being changed... She groaned in pain [i think she fell on her side, and she's not healing well]. Delfina's gaze at the curtains as the woman groaned in pain will probably stain my heart. Death is different, when it's someone you know closely, i suppose...
I'm not afraid of death; in all honesty. I have my natural human tendencies though.. when you fear something... Fear, is not something i have been able to rid myself of.. But the fear of Death, i have.

Poe, many times later in the 4 days we spent with her; she would mention "Take the time now, and spend it with me. I don't know how long it will be." or at one point my Aunt and my mother were fighting over the Will, which was being re-written. Poe's worried face, gazing at them as they spoke in Spanish... I petted her, trying to reassure her that they're just being stupid. She looked at me and said, "I don't like it when they fight over my death"
She told us about the Cleaners, and how men are bad at the Cuban restaurant in LA [which had DELICIOUS food btw]

There are many things that she said, that i will not forgot... but i will also not forget how amiss she has become.
One primary example, which is very laughable- was that she gets on the phone with Delfina, and speaks in her broken English. BOTH of them hardly know English! So all you here is "WHAT? HUH?" and lots of broken-english-repeating x3
My mum stares at Poe and says "Mommy, why are you speaking in English? She speaks Spanish!" [this was also, obviously said in Spanish xD most of the dialect written between them is actually in Spanish] My grandma goes, "OHYEAH!" and begins to speak in spanish again xDD

We also went there to see Tia Maria, who is getting very close to the age of death also. She rarely visits, because she lives in Michigan with her daughter-taking care of her Grandchildren. Tia.... When we saw her, she was very thin, and very small. She's gotten ill also; but ontop of that she apparently is very prone to cardiac arrests. So even going on the plane was bad for her. We don't expect to see her again >:

The rest of the time, i was obviously running around with Gina. Mainly going to Erika's talking about random stuff x3 Videogames~
We went to the beach, and i felt bad cause i was like "hai...." and drifted off..xD and everyone was doing their own stuff.. I didn't... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/25479285/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/25479285/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 17:16:49 PDT I think i'm gonna finally get into the fad of Vocaloids xDD BECAUSE WHY ?[and why so late?]


Because Gackt Camui is the voice for the sexy one O_O

also, this song is FREAKIN' ADORABLE!
-> [link]
[press the "CC" at the bottom right to get the English translation]

XDD i like the parts where he tells people to commit suicide.. Stupid Worker Samurais!!

I was looking through some 4chan /y/ and i found some Vocaloid fanservicecrap

And i was like "Ahhhghhhhh vocaloid again... ohwait this purple haired man is ADORABLE![Yeah..the long haired thing goes farther than you would imagine xD]"

And so i researched and i found out Gackt does his voice XDD
And i was like "SDFKLHFSD" and instantly [more like took me a few minutes out of shock >_>] fall in love with him..

I'mmmmmmmmmmm tottallllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy going to start drawing some fanart of him xD

I aslo thoroughly enjoy how Japan connects everything with food/animals

Washu<->Crab
whatshisfacefromRurouniKenshin<->chicken
Gakupo<->Eggplant xD


Eggplants are cuter than green onions anyway-_- and taste better! Fuck that one vocaloid, with her greenonions! FUCKHER! I see her cosplay too much..SO ANNOYING

[link]

:>> he's cute! I like him.. *snuggles his hair*

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/25355202/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/25355202/ Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:12:06 PDT
Finally! I was able to draw!
But it was wasted on drawing chibis @_@
Now my inspiration is gone..AGAIN.. and my drawing skills went downhill...AGAIN

I want to buy a tablet.. As i have for a couple years now.. I understand Wacom is a great tablet to buy ..But i'm crossed on even WASTING my money on it.. Considering i
1: suck at drawing
2: stop drawing every couple of months
3: no inspiration like.. 24/7

ONTOP of the fact that i don't have cooli-oolio softwear like "Adobe" to even draw on -_- and i looked at the prices of those, and one said something about it being an upgrade- so i need a PREVIOUS adobe, in order to get an NEW/updated adobe..
And it's like.. OKAY, now i'm looking at spending 150+$ on this shit that i probably won't even use..

Any input, people?

Yes, skools out.. Everyone's screaming about it, ~yes'm it is..

It's nice, but i also feel amiss..
I feel like this year just..STARTED- like..a blunt object in my face...
And it just ended.. Like a blunt object in my face..

In my previous years, skool has both eased in and out of my life.. This year.. was just.. ionno.. I don't think within the year i got over the trauma from the giant block-like-thing called skool hitting me in the skull..

That's just me.

Also: Finally agreed that i'm retarded..yes..Yes..

Anyway;again... Keara's birthday is coming up!! She's gonna hang out with Ravy in Uwajimaya... and.. i'm gonna eat this gum..

Also----- JamLegend! Kyle showed me it; and there's nothing better for me to do so i play it all the time.. It's a nice way to find an interesting game, and interesting bands. I'm also VERY fortunate in being able to find really cool foreign bands :3

Most of them are from Europe/Austra/Germany [because they're rock bands, duh]


THERE WAS ACTUALLY A LEGITIMATE MEANING BEHIND UPDATING THIS JOURNAL, AND I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN!

Sorry for the spam of pictures/drawings lately, GAIS.... I'm a tad too distraught, ontop of doing nothing... 'Specially since Skool's out now..

:> i'm excited for the next week/whatever to come...

xD although i don't think i'll have enough money..shit! Let's hope i don't spend a shitload like last time..

ALSO[yess repetitiveness] there's SPIDERS and BUGS EVERYWHERE!
D: they're so annoying, and sometimes i wonder if they're getting stuck in the nest-i-call-hair..

@w@ ...now gonna talk to Keara/play JamLegend/watch KKM

oh- and to the only people who read this journal.. i found a cool..singer..xD

Japanese-Sings in Spanish-music something mixed between Gogol and ManMan xDDD!??!
[it's a hard song to play,actually... So for beginners, try it on Practice to listen to the whole song x3]
-> [link]

[Edit]
So... i'm watching MTV2 and they have this...new..lineup.. of old series that MTV used to show..back in the day..
And, they're showing Aeon Flux [like they usually do]... And.. well..see okay- here's the story. When the movie Aeon Flux released [of which i have yet to see] i watched on MTV when they were playing it again.. and the episode with the bird people, struck me as completely and utterly nostalgic.
Well, i told mum and she said she used to watch it when i was younger. When she was still with my biological dad [=sometime before me being 3 years of age]; so it automatically became one of my favorite series {that happened with NIN, i've been/used to listen to them since before i could countxD but now TrentReznor has gone downhill imo}

..Well.. back to the main part of the story- Watching Aeon Flux.. and Aeon is flailing in the air.. her limbs are beautifully drawn, in a lanky proportion..
I just realized that Aeon Flux also influenced the way i draw, and the people i find attraction too.. [also just realizing that it's because of Aeon i adore Venus FlyTraps and PrayMantis']

My lanky person infatuation, the twisting and turning of a body, and my infatuation with spines [among many other things] i believe originated unconsciously [considering i was MUCH too young to remember] from Aeon Flux.. This for some reason, brings me so much joy..
Okay, back to watching Aeon x3

[/Edit]
[Edit 2]
Today at Boehms, a clown came in... When i arrived to clock in, he was there.. I only saw seconds of him..But i loved that he was there xD

Then another man, later on in the day wanted 100 pieces mixed of Light and Dark Original.... This counted out to be ~3.35 pounds..
Totaling to 103.62$

My stomach hates me..
And i'm seeing Startrek for the second time with Kendra tomorrow!

~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/25033891/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/25033891/ Sat, 30 May 2009 13:32:12 PDT me: "Ghost in the Shell?" *reads the title* "Sky..Crawlers..?" *not being very amused by the fact that there's war-planes on the front of the DVD*
Chris: We'll watch it tonight if you want..
Me:.. You want to watch it? *amazed he wants to watch an anime*
Chris: Yeah.. *walks off*

So hours later, and my mother coming home we go to watch the movie.
I expected the movie to be like Ghost In The Shell. The kind of anime where you have to pay attention to every detail possible; where the movie will go slow, and at times there's very intense moments. And you get very attached to the characters.
It was exactly how i expected it. With that in mind- i figured out the movie about 1/3 the way in. Maybe even 1/4th.. [I also think they made it really obvious x3]

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie :3 the names are really confusing.. It was hard to figure out who was dying, and who wasn't xD
Although i do have to say, the two main characters Kusanagi {MOTOKO!?!? THEY MADE A GITS REFERENCE?!} and Kannami were really cool... They're so likeable..:3 Kusanagi reminded me of Meilin [xD my character, not CCS]

At the end of the movie, [and note, during the movie my mum yells: "This better hurry up! Cause the only cool thing so far is that that's a porche!" (-_- this obviously made me very irritated... i figured they wouldn't like it..)] both my parents said they didn't like it.
And then we switched to "New to Town"
...which was decent, as far as wasting-my-time kind of movie. But not something i'd recommend to people. Not at all.

Also, Sims3 is out :3 i want to buy it!
But..it's like 35-40+ $'s right now.. And i'm like "nuuu i dun wanna spend that much"
So i'll be stuck buying it when it's cheap again.. AKA about a year or so >:

Skool's almost over.. I accidently missed CampusDay D: even though i was looking forward to spending more than a half hour with Zazu, Kendra, and Mclane.... But i was able to see SkyCrawlers : )

I have this "intense" report due in English
The entire time, doing step-by-step have been infuriating. I think Mrs. Fuckerson is trying to fail me for some reason. I had an A, or an A- about mid-semester. Suddenly this projeckt comes up and she's marking 1-2+ points off on everything.
I'm doing things better than the idiot across from me who's cussing her out and she hears him.
Yet, he's the one getting better grades than me.
Fuck that.

I want to just seriously say "Screw you, screw this fuckin' paper, and screw your grades"
-_- but this is apparently a big part of my grade; and i would really, honestly, rather not be held back in any more classes. Math is worse enough.
As far as classes go and finishing highskool [since i can't go to RunningStart now-_-------] i'm planning of trying to get my best grades next year, transfer to Tiger Senor year, and do my PE credits there.
I heard at Tiger there's lower credit-requirements anyway... So i'll just probably do that..

AKA my life is turning to shit, and i'm being forced to stuff that's most definitely last-minute-choices

/i have no future

I'm still getting horrifically sad that Murakami Sensei is no longer going to be teacher parttime at Liberty, and fulltime at Issaquah D:

Along with Mr.Tormey, and most likely Mr. Oswald are leaving
AKA- all the cool Teachers are leaving D:::

Also..
Drawing..
I want to draw something magnificent again
something with meaning.
And make it show it, with beautiful coloring, and beautiful detailed-drawings..
Nothing comes to mind
And plus, i lack confidence in the fact that i could even recreate what exists in my mind, if there was ever anything to begin with..

I'm getting really fed up...


My nose is still in pain now ><;;

Oh, and Startrek was fuckin' amazing, for someone who knows about .1% of Startrek...

I couldn't stop thinking about Spock.. xD and then get all squeally and giggly
Haha, recently, i suppose, there's been an uproar of none-attractive-but-lovable-characters :3


List to do
-Buy a tablet
-TA skirt..purse..something ;3;
-Clean my room
-Finish up anything i need for my Axio dollfie chalk for makeup, metalic red eyes, body ;3;
-Clean my desk -_-~
- Sweet lola outfits
-be more creative
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama, Soul Eater, ect]
-get better at school
-figure out a way to die without the chances of living
-kill some... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/24514571/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/24514571/ Thu, 30 Apr 2009 13:56:43 PDT I'm thinking about finally getting my Etsy account going to sell some of my dollies for extra-money...

BUT- a minor problem...

I'm not sure which design to make for people to buy?

: > so i need some input from you guys xD [aka, like the 5orless people who actually watch~]

Which of the creations i have made do you like best?
Or- if you think those aren't good enough..
You can wait untili update my sketches of newer designs and vote from that deviation : /


Creations so far:
[link]

1, 2, 3, 4

[link]

5

[link]

6

[link]

7

[link]

8?

[link]

9


and the last will be the sketches... Which i will put numbers under them...

The ones you like the most- you can write the number as a comment in the journal..Oragain, wait until i update and you can tell me which of those sketches you like best xD


[Edit]
Okay, so i just got my dolls back from the projeckt long ago.
It seems most people liked the Katamari-inspired ones, and the Devil-looking ones the most..And the one with the eyepatch.

So i guess those win since those were the ones Kendra&Larkin already chose and sold at the artthingy

Thanks guys!

->>>>

List to do
-Buy a tablet
-TA skirt..purse..something ;3;
-Clean my room
-Finish up anything i need for my Axio dollfie chalk for makeup, metalic red eyes, body ;3;
-Clean my desk -_-~
- Sweet lola outfits
-be more creative
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama, Soul Eater, Casshern Sins, ect]
-get better at school
-figure out a way to die without the chances of living
-kill some people...
-Falls [Black,neon orange, neon green, neon violet-Tubes in probably Green... More yarn...]
-that fun material at JoAnns i found..... find more..
-Buy christmas presents for my desired friends... :3
-Go to Japan
-Buy a mannequin
-start a line of Lolita
-go to a Fashion skool in Japan
-learn Japanese
-meet more Jrock bands...
-get a car/Get my license..



がんばって！

ありがっとう　ケイちゃん　ｘD you got it stuck in my head.

YESS TAing for Murakami-sensei right now xD so i has hiragana us[ag]e!


[edit]
wow okay so i just spent like..three hours trying to find this fuckin' picture to show Keara


So i'm just gonna..post it in my journal entry so i know where it is when i look for it AGAIN x3 whichiknowiwillinthefuture


->
[link]


TT__TT that makes me miss the days of how much Twiggy/.die. and i talked..

I'm such a fucktard D:
[/edit]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/24300531/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/24300531/ Sat, 18 Apr 2009 00:31:18 PDT
So those will never be crossed off -_-

List to do
-Buy a tablet
-TA skirt..purse..something ;3;
-Clean my room
-Finish up anything i need for my Axio dollfie chalk for makeup, metalic red eyes, body ;3;
-Clean my desk -_-~
- Sweet lola outfits
-be more creative
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama, Soul Eater, Casshern Sins, ect]
-get better at school
-figure out a way to die without the chances of living
-kill some people...
-Falls [Black,neon orange, neon green, neon violet-Tubes in probably Green... More yarn...]
-that fun material at JoAnns i found..... find more..
-Buy christmas presents for my desired friends... :3
-Go to Japan
-Buy a mannequin
-start a line of Lolita
-go to a Fashion skool in Japan
-learn Japanese
-meet more Jrock bands...
-get a car/Get my license..

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/23892085/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/23892085/ Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:06:52 PDT
Invisible Children! I'm excited to hopefully go! I bought my shirt today~

I need to do the test with the DE at school really soon ><;; but i'm working like every Tuesday and Thursday possible! Stupid Boehms keeps doing that to me!

And then they schedule me on the 25th and i'm like "OHCRAP! INVISIBLE CHILDREN! YOU IDIOTS! I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT TOO!"
So i'll have to talk to Sarah on Saturday @_@

I got boots in for Axio...
they seem kinda big.
But i estimated/measured the head with the boots, like..as if i had a body..And man, i forgot how big he's going to be ><;; He'll be like, up to my knee [LUL, which isn't very much to most people. But lugging him around will be a problem!]

Hahah, i feel like everything wants my money xD
Invisible Children/TRI
SakuraCon
Hammy
CDs
Dollfie..
Car
BCC [><;;stupid signup thing.. i have to turn in my papers in July if i still want to go, now D:]
And otherthings! lul!

Then i have moody Shawn screaming his eyes out on MSN like crazy ><;;

Projeckts to do... Just started an English one, like.. a "Research Projeckt" any subject you want that's debatable, and has to be 7 pages long @_@
5 sources minimum x3

So pretty much, to do the least amount of research and work, ... a paragraph a page.
But it makes it better because it's doublespaced. And when i write, it looks like i write with doublespace! So that should be pretty easy to fill a page with that :3

Other..than..that..
Zazu let me borrow Ghost World and i love it! It's supercool in a strange way :3
And then Kendra finally convinced me to continue to read HP Lovecraft, and i'm pretty much... like..everytime i start reading i get sucked in. I love his imagery when i can see it, and love his emotions. It really is like a vortex pulling you into the book and the story~

Olivia is cute
Kendra loves sloths
Zazu is adorable also..
Michael is bright and fanciful but very busy also
Larkin is distant
Gina is gone
and .Die. has been away since California
Keara is obsessed with cosplaying as Bou
I'mfatandlovegreenteaicecream
I'm excited for this weekend! Cross your fingers everyone! Pray that they have the right kind of Hammy for me!!!



List to do
-Buy a tablet
-TA skirt..purse..something ;3;
-Send presents to the proper people -_-"
-new computer
-Clean my room
-Finish up anything i need for my Axio dollfie chalk for makeup, metalic red eyes, body ;3;
-Clean my desk -_-~{clean as it's getting x3}
-pee
-new outfits
-be more creative
-make less 'friends'...
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama, Soul Eater]{took CGr2 out }
-get better at school
-figure out a way to die without the chances of living
-kill some people...
-Falls [Black,neon orange, neon green, neon violet-Tubes in probably Green... More yarn...]
-that fun material at JoAnns i found...
-Wasting money on an accordian...
-Buy christmas presents for my desired friends... :3

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/23391131/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/23391131/ Tue, 24 Feb 2009 22:44:26 PST
Why is it so confusing!? Why can't we just seriously have a store in the states, that's near me!! All these different brands, asexual, and sexed bodies are confusing!


I'M SO FUCKING CLOSE TO COMPLETING AXIO

All i need are the chalk paints for the makeup [remembered i have acrylics, but i still need to check if they're none-oil-based] and the eyes [metalic, for nice photos<3]

...and then the body.

I want a fuckin' sexed body, so when people say "that's a girl" i'll be able to lift the dress and show the fuckin' penis!

But because the only head that's close to Axio's is an obitsu head it's been all fucked up! Obitsu needs to release a sexed-bodied-doll! For fuckin' serious!

I'm so close! And so far away!

And i would have had the chalk and the eyes as of today, but i'm 3$ off of being able to pay for the Xingke i was supposed to get, and a *insertspoilers*!

...><;; But Amelia and i agreed to split this ebay item... 2 keychains of KHR- 7$ total, so she pays 3.50 and i pay 3.50 ><<<<;;;

DOLLFIE OR MUKURO?
BJD OR MUKURO?

FUCCKKKKplusialreadyboughtitandAmeliawantsittoosoihassstooo

Axioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you're so close to being real, so solid, that i could carry you around..
Yet... just... so far away...
And i need to put my "to-do" list back up...

urrr...

found it!

List to do
-Buy a tablet
-TA skirt..purse..something ;3;
-Send presents to the proper people -_-"
-new computer
-Clean my room
-Finish up anything i need for my Axio dollfie chalk for makeup, metalic red eyes, body ;3;
-Clean my desk -_-~
-pee
-new outfits
-be more creative
-make less 'friends'...
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama, Soul Eater]{took CGr2 out }
-get better at school
-figure out a way to die without the chances of living
-kill some people...
-Falls [Black,neon orange, neon green, neon violet-Tubes in probably Green... More yarn...]
-that fun material at JoAnns i found...
-Wasting money on an accordian...
-Buy christmas presents for my desired friends... :3

most likely updated later >_<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/22951569/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/22951569/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 19:32:39 PST Mainly on myself..

I am unworthy to call myself a buddhist..
timesonethousand

Through the struggles of MYSTERYBOXES/bags and ACTION FIGURES along with much roaming around and so much movement and being exhausted

I have enjoyed my stay very much.
If i don't see anyone tomorrow, thank you all so much for wasting your time with me.

Especially Gina and .Die.
{sorry for being so selfish the entire time}

I'm close to getting presents to the people i wanted to give presents to... but... sadly i've also run out of money =w= so Valerie [AGAIN], Zazu [AGAIN], and Michael [AGAIN] were left out short...

Plus it's really hard to find you two things D:< lrn2bnormal

Everyone else's presents...

I'm sorry, they're really cheap and/or last minute?


I've also been rushed everywhere>_>

So much rushing that i'm REALLY dreading going back home.. I don't want to my homework and go back to skool -_- [i already told Gina all this,lul]
Especially the homework part..

and i'm about to slap Sarah for making me work so much after my vacation D:< it's kinda really pissing me off.. i mean, seriously!? Do you guys REALLY expect me to do sixteen thousand papers to right- equations, and reading [Nihongo?] i don't understand and then finish Algebra..most of all...

Ohyeah- the stealers won Futbol...

Annnnnnnnnnnd the main reason of this update was:

I have A LOT of pictures to show you guys!!! I'm always cross between spamming all of you with pictures i got while here that i thought would just be fun to take pictures of..
[ie. Knotts, the FortuneTellerStores]
Although there was a couple things that i wish i took pictures of..
One i forgot what it was now @w@
But another was the monkey being hung from under a van.. [it was funny]

And i also got a couple sneak-pictures of Gino and .Die.


Also- for those of you going to my skool--------
A or B day on Tuesday? so i know which homework to rush to get done..
If my calculations are right it's a B day? ?_? or am i messed up because of MLK?


Please and thanks! Possible updates later <3
Ohyeah-... new journal format? i'm gonna kill it D:< i want my old entries back..it's sometimes fun to read those u_u;;

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/22460914/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/22460914/ Sat, 17 Jan 2009 23:41:01 PST
But for some reason, since i {forcably} read Japan Ai i suddenly fell in love with them! Well..more like intrigued, rather than love... [i would NEVER be one ><;;]

Ganguro on my desktop!

"LETS GO CRAZYY!!"
[link]

~Ignore Sal trying to seduce Axi~

This is me telling you guys.... Be open, and love Ganguro Girls and Center Guys!

[Edit!]

So! I got suddenly very bored last night after watching PingPong {the movie} Hoshimo

Anyway..So after watching PingPong i got bored, and my comp is very empty still! [Sorry Kendra, i'll get to uploading and burning those CDs soon D:] so i went onto /w/ on 4chan!

Mainly because i had been in there once before out of boredom and i found a lot of REALLY good and not-very-seen wallpapers before.

While looking around, there was a screenshot of someone's 4chan with an ADORABLE image of Eureka! x3 i clicked, and read about it.

Turns out, firefox has a mod called "stylish" where it lets you customize webpages you view.

Obviously it doesn't completely remap the pages and everyone can see it... But the thought of customizing ugly pages [like DA, Hotmail, Myspace] was just the greatest idea to me!

So i immediately downloaded the mod, and copyandpasted the code for Eureka as an example for 4chan. I haven't changed it, because i can't find a picture cuter than that one!

[link]

[i took the picture in /cm/ because i didn't want to send a picture to my sister where there was pron on it.. Lul, yes i also told her about this awesome mod]

SO! {yes, it's not over yet!}
I spent countless hours before falling asleep on my desk practically trying to-construct my hotmail...

When i woke up today, i just got fed-up with it and took a code from hotmail, and just added a few of my quirks.

[link]

I also have one of SZS where he's hanging himself in the back : P

And just now i finished my DA remap->

[link]

[MeLoki as an example because i love her STILL! I don't care what happened, she's still awesome]

Although some parts on DA i can't find how to overwrite them yet... But i'm happy enough with that already!
ohyeah..FLCL love forever [one of the wallpapers i found yesterday]

SO- why am i updating this?

Because i'm telling you guys- [especially if you're good with html] if you don't have Firefox, DOWNLOAD IT. If you already do have it- DOWNLOAD THE MOD "STYLISH" and join me in loving the internet even more :333

<3!

[/edit]

[edit 2]

Shall today not only be the great Inaugeration of Obama/Obama Day {according to Kyle}, but also the day that i received my first Delf Object [yes, those two are VERY equalxD]

By gawds i never imagined plastic hair could be so soft! I love luts.. I want to buy from them again!

But sadly- that may be a LONG while from now >:

For the time being- i have Nami and Axi's wig [Nami's wig not-so-much on the face-sculpt i have]

All i need now is the makeup, eyes, and the body.

Makeup and body will be the next thing when i have free-money to spend

...then the body... which will be an ass to find and get.. ><;;

[/edit]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/21839840/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/21839840/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 22:34:16 PST
I've decided to not share the blog/log of my day with Diru 'cause no one shares my excitement.

Nor would they want to read 6 pages of me blabbing- 4 paragraphs of the concert and many happenings in it...

So i just won't.

But for the sake of my memories- i'm dedicating an entry to the fact that i did see them.

<3Diruforever<3


Ehh!
I'll put up the pictures that i took before the concert started, of the Puget Sound while waiting in the morning.
Just because i want to.


[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]



~[edit]
Gah, even though i told myself and a lot of people i'd update the pictures of the concert today [i scanned them yesterday night] i don't have enough time to do it yet..

Hopefully tomorrow i'll get them up, then.

Until then- wait with anticipation, all the shitty pictures and some very magnificent <3


In the meantime i have a Japanese verb quiz to study for ><;;;
[/edit]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/21716323/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/21716323/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 20:18:10 PST
Becuase, this is very important to tell everyone..

I've been playing Caligula a lot.. as of yesterday.

And i'm going to play it again as soon as i finish this entry...
I love smashing people's faces in with axes, and then setting them on fire for the newbs to come and set themselves on fire...

Who knew Caligula was so fun!? Talking to his horses and whatnot ;3

Other than that...
When i go through the Diru concert i'll be updating it in my Livejournal...
And most likely Copy & paste it in here too on a seperate entry...

And again, other than that-
Play Caligula on AS

:3 it's really fun!

[link]

Ohyeah.. failed to mention~ i think the most enticing part about the game is probably the face of Caligula. I really like the artist-honestly. He entices me further in that kind of Gorillaz-drawing-esque way...~

[edit]

I OFFICIALLY HATE DEVIANTART NOW

FUCK YOU AND YOUR MAKING ME LOOK AT OLD SHIT THAT SHOULD BE BURNED AND NEVER THOUGHT OF AGAIN

FUCK YOU AND GIVING ME VIRUS' THAT MAKE SHIT POP UP
AND NOW I GOTTA WIPE MY GAWDDAMN COMPUTER

FUCKYOU INTO AN ETERNAL FIRE AND YOU'RE FUCKING CONFORMITY


FUCKYOU!
[/edit]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/21412517/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/21412517/ Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:06:02 PST
I'm really past the point where i feel like i should have died...

I just hate myself so gawddamn much >< and i know, at this very moment.. either my conscious, or Seth is telling me to stfu and stop complaining but i don't know what else to do...

And...JEEZUS KRISTE this fucking MONTH EARLY christmas shizz is annoying me half to death.
It's bad enough i work at a CANDY STORE and see this crap as of AUGUST- but now people are buying it -_-

There's ALREADY commercials?! Like... WHAT HAPPENED TO THANKSGIVING? Does the past of how our Pilgrim ancestors killed millions of Indian's no longer exist any more? Will it be one of those new things we'll pretend never happened as Americans?

Anyway... Genetically mutating a rate to grow a human organ off of it = NO
...fuckin' nasty..

Hung out with Sela.. and her new friend.. And i like.. half fell in love with this girl i met there >< she was so gorgeous... i felt bad though xD i kept telling everyone they're pretty and i'm sure i came off as a lesbian or something >:


SENSE OF HUMORFUCKFUCKFUCKCUKFKF

i don't want to talk any more...

ps- so far i really like Uroborus.. But there's a lot of GRUNTING going on >: Oh.. Kyo.. i still love you and MULTRA excited to see you in concert..

[For those of you who want to and can- please make me patches before December so i can sew them onto my "concert" bag.] I'll maybe even draw a fucked up picture for you ;3

[edit]
I've decided to carelessly waste my money on an accordion..

Why? ...Because i honestly just feel like getting one for the shit of it..
Honestly...

Anyway, like i've told like 6 people today... Uroborus is very americanized-there's lots of screaming/screeching and grunting... But... i CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT! I listened to it 3/4 of my periods today & during lunch.... In the morning on the bus, when i went home on the bus- while i was dressing into my work clothes-and driving to work up until i was inside the backroom of Boehms putting my bag away did i stop x3 but as soon as i got into the car to go home i listened to it again.

I CAN'T STOP!! It's so good, but it's so bad xD

...Still waiting for my contact/s to get to me.. =w=

I'm apparently getting Cable to my TV on Wednesday.... which means i will never leave my room again.... 'cause i can just pull the cord for internet to my room and play on my laptop there xD buy myself a Tivo..LUL...

anyway.. i'm gonna go see how much an accordion is on ebay...
...and adding it to my "to do" list..


-editing the edit-
Ohyeah.. moral of the story- i gained 3 points.. lul i should srsly just tape my mouth.. only diarrhea comes out and in it...

[/Edit]
[edit 2]
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I'M NOT ALLOWED TO HANDLE MONEY FREELY ANY MORE!

Urr.. so yeah.. i'm waiting for the Accordion to get to my house.
My Contact hasn't gotten to me yet =_=" i complained to them THREE times now. And when i said i wanted my money back they finally replied to me and said they'd reship it... so i'll be waiting. If i don't get it by like... the end of next week then i'm calling them and complaining and getting my gawddamn money back or i'm driving to Canada illegally and kick their ass.

Uhmmmm... there was something else i was gonna say but i forgot..
Ur, yeah guys.. Those of you who know there's presents coming your way.. Sorry- i'll try to get those out really soon -_- and i was gonna buy something more for Nadine [just to fill the box] but i'm getting low on money and plus i'm like never out of the house to get you what i want to give you D:
So... sorry if everything gets retarded if/when you get your box D:


uhm... ineed that Pankunchi wallet.. well..okay. I don't need it.. But it'd be nice to have a new wallet... I lost ChiChaiMonchan's : /
GAH kay now i have skool tomorrow ..

[/edit 1]
[edit 2]
I JUST FINISHED CODE GEASS OH GAWDDD I LOVE ITTTTTT

XINGGGG MY LOVEEE
LULUUUU YOU'RE LIKE A KITTEN THAT PLOTS EVERYTHING
ILOVEEEYOUUUUU
[/edit 2]



List to do
-Buy a tablet
-TA skirt..purse..something ;3;
-Send presents to the proper people -_-"
-new computer
-Clean my room
-Finish up anything i need for my Axio dollfie
-Clean my desk -_-~
-pee
-new outfits
-be more creative
-make less 'friends'...
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama, Soul Eater, CG r2]
-get better at school
-figure out a way to die without the chances of living
-kill some people...
-Falls [Black,neon orange, neon green, neon violet-Tubes in probably Gr... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/20816401/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/20816401/ Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:27:30 PDT
I want to cry so much and fuck someone in the face so fuckin' hard that their brains smash out from their eyes..

And "fuck someone" not as in with my imaginary penis.. as in punch them -_-



I'm so done...
And there's nothing to be "done" about...


I miss you guys...


I think i'm gonna steal the 'rents camera

and take a lot of pictures of Salmon days...
1: to make Keichan jealous she can't be here
2: because there's usually something fun there to look at
3: Ritsuka










Blowing..chunks..
[edit]
List to do
-Buy a tablet
-TA skirt..purse..something ;3;
-Send presents to the proper people -_-"
-new computer
-Clean my room
-Finish up anything i need for my Axio dollfie
-Clean my desk -_-~
-pee
-new outfits
-be more creative
-make less 'friends'...
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama, Soul Eater, CG r2]
-get better at school
-figure out a way to die without the chances of living
-kill some people...
-Falls [Black,neon orange, neon green, neon violet-Tubes in probably Green... More yarn...]
-that fun material at JoAnns i found...

most likely updated later >_<
[/edit]
<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/20734336/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/20734336/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 00:50:44 PDT
I got my hair-dyed..which is why i'm up so late after working and having school tomorrow [xD now i'm very happy that i switched Monday to Tue with Becky]

But yeah- it was gonna be red... cause i like Tatsuro <3 and my sister said "We can get the semi-perminant dye of natural red-head and it will come our REALLY red" and... so.. cause she's a cosmetologist and SPLAT is very horrible when it comes to staying on lengthy amount of time- i obliged...

Now that all the confusion is all said and done- the parts that are supposed to be red; are now orange.

: / i still like it! Don't get me wrong xD i thought about doing some orange eventually in my life anyway.... especially recently with Halloween strolling around and i've been wearing a lot of Orange+black lately x3

>: but it's still not red!
Hhaha, but all is well still.. I can just redye it the correct red.. I just have to live with orange until it fades- or i get the correct dye : D

Currently waiting for my sister to finish her letter of resignition from her work so i can print out my Job-shadow shiz for Health... xD i hope tomorrow is an A day...

Oh okay she's off!

: D yay i can go to sleep!

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/19925977/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/19925977/ Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:02:09 PDT Like Dario..just sitting up.. Spewing out blood!

x3 i love him.
BACK TO THE REASON I'M WRITING THIS

SOSOSOOSOSOSOSO [hooo~! Hado gayy~~!]

Dir en Grey, they're coming to Washington... and not just, ANY Washington. SEATTLE.
Sosoosososo i'm gonna raise money for the tickets. Which they're only $27.50 [compared to MUCC/D'espa's~/~Taste of Chaos which was like 49 something so estimated 50buckeroonies a pop] + the ticketmaster fee of 2$. So about 30$
ANYWAY

So i'm gonna try to raise money for it.
BUT, [woo~ dilemma] i just bought the BJD head for my soon-to-be-Axio BJD. Which is going to be 60cm {2foot} doll, AND it's only the head. The body is an estimated 100~200$, PLUS all the paints and accessories [which estimated at the very least of 52$ {XD i did all the math yesterday..lots of estimation >_>}]

SO, i'm going to be spending about ...500$ worth of shit and crafts along with the tickets pretty soon..


BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GET HALF A THOUSAND BUCKERS, INDIA?


I'm seriously, looking for a job.

At this very moment i have three applications up.

One for Trader Joe's... Part time Crew, they said "High school graduate preferred." ... PREFERRED = DOESN'T HAVE TO BE, right? Let's hope, cause they pay good and it's a lowmaintenance store

Second one is ...Party Display and Costume, which my sister used to work there. It's pretty fancy, kinda slow. I heard the employees like drama... But they never specified anything about age, or anything. BUT it's in Part-time Application section of Craig's List

THIRD [which one i want the most right now] is an application to Boehms Chocolate. Which is a REALLY fuckin' good chocolate place i've actually never been too [but eaten their chocolate thanks to Tara >_>]; and even in the title of the job-poster-thing it says "GET A JUMPSTART ON YOUR BACK TO SCHOOL JOB"~ meaning, dude, they want me.

BUT- it was posted at the end of July..


SO hopefully tomorrow i'll talk to my dad about some stuff [he's already said he'll drive me back and forth as long as i pay for the gas] and call Boehm's and Trader Joe's tomorrow to see if they still want people. Possibly even get the application papers tomorrow if i get Chris out of the house :3

And most of all ... I still need someone to go with to see Diru.

Remember, it's in December, on the 3rd... Which is a Wednesday.
>_> if i actually get a job, i might be even willing to pay for your ticket. THAT'S IF I GET A JOB!

and i need a new headset =_= one of the headphones decided to die last night... Things with chords hate me like no other.
OHYEAH and the Ipod won't turn off -_-" stupid thing is gonna burn itself out..

:3 that's it!
Please reply about Diru, and if anyone locally has seen a job poster for part-timers, ESPECIALLY around Liberty it'd be appreciated if you could tell me. Thank you in advance~!

OHYEAH! Classes for this year....

->
1 MOCK TRIAL 1 John Tormey
2 ALGEBRA 1 Kyle Duggan
3 ENGLISH 10 Lisa Beck
4 JAPANESE 1 Paula Murakami
5 HON EUROPE STDY Amy Cooke
6 BIOLOGY Alisa Jeremica
7 HEALTH Delores Leber
8 SALES/MKTNG 1 Chris Gapinski


LAWL yeah i got heldback in Alg.. and lewl, cause i have it the same period AND the same teacher as last year :3

D:: not excited about Mrs. Beck or Health though..NOT at all..

ps-lawl i write way too much x3

[Edit 1]
So i've been crazily busy catching up on Anime, switching between obsessions and maintaining this Job thing~
:3 good news! I had my interview today with Boehm's Candies!
And when i was trying to to go to sleep Rebecca [my interviewer] called and said she wants me to be hired with another girl- the other girl is starting tomorrow. So i'm going in tomorrow for training 'n shiz~

D: It seems like a low maintenance job~ but the GETTING there is turning out pretty crazy. Lots of paperwork- and i have to get a FoodsHandling License thingy before September..
Which means studying about food [most people should know i'm not good at studying >_>] but i should be..decent, since i took a foods class last year... Although i didn't pass it >_<;;

But i also have to memoriz... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/19635548/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/19635548/ Mon, 28 Jul 2008 05:11:28 PDT

So currently i'm still looming between WoW-anime-Da

Da is becoming less and less appeasing to me.

I've been here for an estimated 5years and i myself have no progress.

Plus the majority of beauty-artists have left ever since Jark left [if that was his name ?_?]


Now more and more are becoming inactive and/or disappearing for their reasons.

Neo-art=face

The main reason i continue my DA account is 'cause i have so many artists i didn't want to go over and re-add..orwhatever..
And mainly for my friends.

Which most of them don't update *motions to KelC and Gina*

I think it may have become final though..[who knows? maybe not] i decided to give up on Drawing. As said before, i lack progression... I don't give a fuck whether you think it's good or not. I believe it's horrible, and it reminds me too much of art that i lawl at too much in my spare time.

I would totally delete the pictures if it wasn't for the fact that i constantly update this so i remember what the many characters look like..

onto the next thing->
WoW
yeah, yeah, yeah. I said i'd quit- and i pretty much have.. 'Cept for the fact that life is boring. I'm a casual player. I play to get my money up for when LK comes out [aka doing dailies, or whatever with friends]


Anime->

Most appealing thing to exist. 'Cept at times i get tired of sitting around and reading very fast Subs. And i hate having to switch between subs...
IE:
In SoulEater one of the subbers kept the name Kishin [or whatever]
In RambelSubs version they say "Demon God"

Or in one they say "buki", when in Rambel it says like...Weapon..or something..

Confusing when i'm not looking at the pictures cause i'm too busy reading and trying to register >_>

Plus, now that i've caught back up with i think most of my progression animes, i have to go back to Saiyuki...or something random like that

and i kinda don't want to start another anime right now ><;; which was my problem at the end of the school year...


And beyond all- my emotions are fucking up. They've been switching between smiteful, and jealous. It's uneasy X3
I feel like poor Soul[u]is is getting the buttend of things cause i'm still pissed at him for playing better than me on my own character...
Ontop of that he said he didn't like Diru cause he hates Kyo's voice... and i checked his Playlist and he had Garbage and something else on it, and i got really mad.. X3 Plus he had Oh my Juliet video by LM.C too, and it was fine.. Cause i sent him that video that made Jawa-sama happy. But it's the fact that he only likes LM.C because of the skullman [yes, i still need to figure out their names..above many other bands]

AND speaking of learning new bands... I want to look further into more bands, obviously. Buttttttttt i'm so left behind on my other bands that i feel horrible X3

I've been mainly focusing on MYV and MUCC when i listen to music. I've neglected my listening to Diru and LuLu..and Han-Nya... and LM.C..and downloading more D'Espa >:


speaking of downloading.. I need to download the SoulEater OST... i really like the music they put in there ._.

+i need to hang my DD poster back up : O



there was actually a meaning behind this journal.. But it's gone now.. Maybe i'll update later...
In all- i'm kinda back. Not really... Just drifting.


[edit]
haha finally changed my icon x3 ~BAIBAI NOEL<333 i'll miss you...

>: Hello Ugly and her muse..

?_? now i just need to get my computer back together so i can upload pics/vids from my phone and get my scanner working


OR...upload all the shit that i need that was on my main comp onto the laptop..
which is slowly dying =_=
i need a job.. srsly

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/18440175/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/18440175/ Wed, 21 May 2008 23:56:03 PDT
SHEESH

So yeah, i haven't updated the journal in a while - which is good news to most people : D

But uh..

I'm just gonna dump memes on you guys who actuallly look at my pictures until i get unlazy and turn on other comp so i can scan all the crap i've been drawing...

within this week i've been proud of what i've been drawing :3 which consists of :
Nori
Axio
Cédric



Stuff before this week..is pretty much forgotten.. But i know i have a couple pictures that i was proud of from then too.. i just need to look through my binder and scan the pictures that needed to be scanned x3

I don't think i scanned that picture of Dario in his final Form from the Spanish test yet..?...ah maybe i did... who knows? I'll look later..


:3 that's all... I wish i lived in Japan ;^;

and i wish my hair didn't hate me so much =_="

<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/17887458/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/17887458/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 20:12:48 PDT [April 15th, 08] : P


but now i'm wondering how i would be able to view Kanji/Japanese in general on the computer?

I can WRITE in Kanji on a word document thing- but i can't view it on a website.

Does anyone know a place to download to be able to view Kanji, or something?

It works on my main comp- which used to be my sister's. But it doesn't work on my laptop D:

And i want to Translate MUCC's journal ;__; but i can't if all i get at ?'s and boxes.


: D see look, i can write in Kanji!

-> 䂉삂ꂂ䂁ꊂꒂ䂁좂즂䢁਍


XD i'm not sure if that's right or not.. I looked up 'say' and i just typed it as i would normally-those characters are the things that came up XD

<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/17783872/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/17783872/ Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:25:00 PDT
Cleaned up a couple of pages of my gallery... Sorry for those of you who are like "WTF STOP SPAMMING ME"

and stuff..


Will be moving more hopefully by the end of the day...


eh..

Back to reading KHR then : P

PS:

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

MY CONCERT IS IN JUST LIKE.. 4 DAYS

I R EXCITED




<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/17602057/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/17602057/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 07:55:48 PDT
lewl.


.___. i feel lazy, i don't really even bother with Da.


D:!

.___.

I MISSED THE SAKURA CON


;__; but it's.. alright.. i didn't get.. to see.. Gloomy Bear .. Gallor.. no cute...cosplaying gaymen...nothing...

I got to sit home.. and get mad at WoW....


rawr! Really, i'm not that mad. It would have been a boredom releaver for a little while.

lawls, i think i just spelled REliever wrong? ?_?

i'm.. not getting good grades, even though i'm trying.

Heyyy let's try making this week GOOD, okay Seth?
Right, right, right?
"righty, right boss"

arffg.. there was something important.. an anouncement of sorts ... Ohwell? I guess i'll update later then. : X

on the side note:
KENDRA AURAL VAMPIRE IS NOT GOOD
HER VOICE IS ANNOYING
STOP LISTENING TO HER
I'LL GET YOU GOOD MUSIC


Nadine or Gina aren't allowed to comment on Aural Vampire, because..... as much as i love them SHE'S ONLY THERE FOR LOOKS!

*takes Batsu's side*


<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/17087008/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/17087008/ Wed, 27 Feb 2008 10:32:26 PST
Like, the only downtime i know that exists right nowx3, or that i acknowledge. :3

This is an old computer, and now i'm used to typing on the laptop, it's kind of difficult.

ANYWAY

Meaning of this journal->I had 243 messages @___@;; i didn't check all of them, only checked the important ones.

Sorry if i didn't comment your piccus! I tried with my lazy/tired/whateverness.

2 days of School back and i feel like it's been the worse 2 days compared to the entire school year.
If that made any sense.

:3 i found a guild and a server over break.
And so because i can't transfer Sio over, i made a Siojr, and have to level her up.
Along with the warrior i already had on that server.
And, apparently, i'm going to be going on someone's alt and start Druidhealing Raids from 7-11 @__@;;

This is going to get crazy!
I've only really been able to draw within the last two days. Which, i have no inspiration, so of course i'm not going to update just yet.
>_> i still have to find the camera to upload the pictures of Yoni...

Draaaaammmaarammmmaaaaa man!
Fuck that shit.

I want the teaparty
That's all i can ..wait

>>>Lack of communication lately has been a big problem. Lately, i haven't even been able to understand myself. Or elaborate.
Something's messing with my brain! gawddamn aliens!

Okay, now i can't think of anything relatively important of my absence..

i sleep now -_-zzzZzzzZzz


<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/16860737/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/16860737/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 08:40:42 PST
But it says that everyone should have joyous NTlPBD and W13!

Lovelovelove!

If it finds camera, maybe it will take picture of wannabe-Peggy

Tomorrow is 16! It might drive soon! It is exciting!

I think it's mum said that it takes Driver's Test for Permit tomorrow?

It must read more book!!

It must get its bag back to talk to its sister!
AGHHH

It hopes today will be good day!

But it expects bad day! Ohno! It wonders which will be true ;_;

<


[edit]
.___. ..i'm horrible at getting things on time!

Sorry! >: no Valipicture of Vic.. Sorry!

[/edit]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/16453080/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/16453080/ Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:21:24 PST

Horray World!


Let us awaken a new


<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/15581869/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/15581869/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:22:02 PST :


It seems like it's been eternity since i last even updated anything on DA.
I'm stupid.

But of course, these last several weeks and days have been a pain in the fuckin' arse.

I woke up not long ago after my massive amount of self loathing, that had come to the extent that i couldn't even play WoW i hated myself so much.

@___@;;

Why, with all the self loathing?
It's not triggered by.. any thing in particular.
My mind just goes "...*bloopbloopbloop* you are a horrible and disgusting person. Why are you alive? You waste the precious air of which the earth is striving to make. Please die."

and i go.. *crash*

*bangs head on desk* i can't trust any one. I always fuck myself over. I get these obsessive thoughts constantly once something happens that most people don't notice..

But i notice them.And take them to an extreme.

Then the self-loathing-state-of-mind just deepens. >:

I can't maintain a friend, nonetheless an acquentance. *sp*

I don't need people any way.. right..?

......They're just going to disappear after highschool.. The..highschool i'm not going to graduate..

....;A;

Ohyeah, what i meant to say when i started this rant.
After waking up, my right eye is burred. And it's like..refusing to..unblur..
This happens to me randomly also.
It lasts for about an hour or so..

I feel like, most of my days now are spent looking out of one eye.

I'm like a cyclopse.. \( o )/ ~(rawr)

... that was supposed to be a cyclopse me .. >_>

UH, yeah. But.. like.. the more i think about it.. I think eye-patches are fuckin' sexy as hell.

Watching Airgear Epi 11 on OnDemand, and like..theres this kid.. and he has an eyepatch. And he's all cuddly with Iki : D he's cuuute and i want him.
NOW.

And then there's the Zeroes from Loveless. The first set. The girly had an eyepatch : D

There's other characters that have escaped my mind at this moment that have eyepatches.

Yeah, i know i'm talking to myself. I'm hoping no ones reading this.
I hope they went "..she had another rant" and then clicked away.

or they'll comment like "Aw i'm sorry" or ..some..thing..like that.
Without reading completely.
Which is good. I'd rather not waste precious life-time out of those around me.

Ihatemyself.

I had something else to say, but.. uh.. .. hm.. i know that i'm being yelled at by both my sister and my dad about how loud i type. O__O;;

All i can think about is how much i suck and everything and how much i need to die.
Huh, every time i get up and get the strength to say "I'm starting a new slate! I'm going to do my homework, and do it fullheartedly! I want these good grades!"
I am doomed to fail just a day later, or that day.


....no i'm really starting to wonder. Where did all those people i talked to almost obsessively go off to?

What happened to the Penguins?
Then i had a few DA friends..
I had a WoW family.. Twice!
And i had school friends too.
Not only school friends- but a private Pink Orcas gang >:
Then i had my drawing friends..
And Pchat group of friendlies.

What happened to all these people?
Is that life, you gain, and you loose. Yes.. Why did i put that in a question form when i already know that?
..So.. i don't want to loose them. I hate loosing them. I want to relive those days i laughed fullheartedly and never remembered i existed... But.. now when i see them, i remember myself.
And i die so discretely.
.. I know.. I lecture myself constantly, i lecture others. This is life, it comes and goes. We should deal..
But..with my lack of will power and my constant fumbling, these constant mood-changing-self-loathing-cyclopse moments are just hurdling me down a hole. Farther i'll fall.
When will Alice hit the bottom ?

I hope my bottom will be adventurous too.... I don't want to remember the teacher, and i don't want to remember my boredom in the living room with the mirror.
Save me magic rabbit, save me Chess Board with your off ways.

I am the essence of lacking. Or lack. Which ever.

Captain has been very nice to me lately. It's soothing to know i can poke someone and make fun of his girliness every now and then.

< http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/15442690/ Sat, 10 Nov 2007 01:15:35 PST : i wish life was more enjoyable.



*rants*


*ends rant*

<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/15165661/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/15165661/ Sun, 21 Oct 2007 21:41:19 PDT
There's my absence the last three days.

I've been getting on at late times- so excuse me for not commenting on your pictures [if you're reading this].

I still need to do my Homemeals for foods D:

I've been wondering the internet a lot lately- been looking for a gassmask at cheap prices.

Found one, but i've already asked for so much this month.
I'll have to wait until when the time is right for these kind of things.

-_- i can't wait until i get money now, because i should be saving my money up for a car and insurance.

So far... 5$.


I suck.

<

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/14918495/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/14918495/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 19:51:47 PDT
>_> though not very good.


So i'm gonna see if this works. Keeping me busy and away from problems, while in the end feeling accomplished and giving.


Anyone! Ask me to draw something! I don't care!

I'll even color it~!

DX

[fail]

{edeet!}


HAHA I THINK I'M ON THE BRINK OF INSANITY


IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS


._.

{/edit}

[edit 2..something..lost count]

Half account has been made. It's not cute like AlbinoFerret ['cause it was already taken D:]

But it's something that i chose within like.. two seconds.

I'm pissed off about the Mature view thing.

I was stupid actually putting my birthday year in D::

So i made the new account to view all the Deviations that have Mature on.

Will probably do stuff to the new account when i get really bored.

->>>
<

[/edit]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/14867185/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/14867185/ Mon, 01 Oct 2007 07:50:52 PDT
I made a bad decision...

But it seems so right in my head.


I think by now i'm about to be gone.


I wonder if things will turn out better in the end.



~

It's Scarce that someone i've known for about a half year can cure so much more than someone i've actually met.

~
-

"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it."
Marcus Aurelius

-

That's about right.


I'm hesitant to even submit this at the moment... It just doesn't feel right.

[Edit]

What the FUCK!?

[/Edit]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/14413427/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/14413427/ Thu, 30 Aug 2007 16:25:42 PDT _> might as well start a new journal, it's almost the end of the month.

So~
I've been thinking lately.
And, maybe getting a new DA?

I'll keep this one of course- for faving and checking all the people i have watched ['cause there's too many to move 'em over to a new account]

But update on a different account?

:3 If i do it, i want to name it AlbinoFerret x3

Or something really kawaii.
Not like my current messed up DA name XD

I also don't want to delete this one because it has a lot of history in it that i can't/don't want to transfer over :/

XD like my thousands of journals, and a lot of my old Deviations.

IF i do get a new DA account, i'll take a few of my favorite Deviations of my chars and put it there. x3 instead of having my plethora of bad ugly old pictures like i have now.


So any thoughts?
Should i get a new account?
And what should the name be?



[Edit 1]

Tagged by

RULES: List ten things that are interesting about your art and put it into your journal. Then choose 6 other deviants to tag so they can do this too. Put them into the journal and inform them that they've been tagged.

1. ...uh.. almost all of it is of my Charas from Gino and my story?
2. ... XD my chibis change periodicly
3. >_> my 'art' is not symmetricle
4. i get inspired by other pictures, or something i see during the day. Sometimes a song, or something that pops in my head [Zombies with Guns -> Kids with Guns (Gorillaz)]
5. my referance is from everyday when i look around and notice people and how they act and sit, ect
6. sometimes i use different pens to outline O.o
7. i've been drawing for a long time XD my first drawing i actually really liked was a picture of Monchan, or whatever from Pokémon XD
8. sometimes when i feel dandy and inspired by other peeps drawings i try to change my drawings to what i really like about theres [IE Nm&Ft, Dragon Knights]
9. i tend to get into a depressive mode when there's a lot of really good artists showing up and then i don't draw for a long time >_>
10. if i draw too much the drawings get retarded X3 but that's usually when i get my best ideas. And when i don't draw, it looks good, but i have no ideas for what to do draw [D:!]
xD you can't spell 'heart' without 'art' lawl

YOU'RE IT ->



XD and i can't find anyone else who still reads these : x

[/edit 1]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/13982439/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/13982439/ Thu, 02 Aug 2007 07:16:57 PDT
i'm just going to keep this short until later


>>no cell phone


no internet?<<<


:3

-update-

I managed to get through comments. But sorry for those of you who updated deviations! I have to go before my sister decides to tell on me or something!


much love to all of you, and shall your lives be prosperous.~

[edit]

Seth is back.

Yuh..

guh, only until 10 not. -_-;; i have to make this quick. I'll probably update more detail again tomorrow.

Finished my checking deviations of over a thousand deviations [ i watch too many people. But it's hard not to with so much talent!!]

So yeah, for those of you who are my friends and got comments- sorry i didn't comment on all of them. My comp is slow, and i've been running out of time. So my comments lacked both intellegence, helpfulness, and everything else.


x___x;; i'm still really stupid. I can't speak- at all. It's like, without the computer the last thing i had still kind of going for me disappeared.


For those of you who i'll see if i go to Liberty [and not Issaquah/detail later\] you'll probably/might notice how my social skills have drastically gone down.

I.. yeah. It's like, my mind was completely erased and now i have to start ALL over. But some old characteristics are still there.


Yeah- like i said. More detail tomorrow. -_- One more minute, i need to type faster, and less typoes.

Gawd.

[/edit]

[Edit 2]

._O okay, despite the fact that i don't want to update this useless journal ONCE more, i have nothing else to do whilst waiting for D-gray Man 41 to load @_3

uhhhhhhhhhh okay
Issaquah-> As punishment/'something better' i might be going to Issaquah if they accept me. Why? Because apparently, in the mind of my mother and father the people at Maywood are 'too much stress for me and i don't have the maturity/whatthehellever to take critism'.


-_-"
Whatever, i'd rather be with Liberty fags, than with Issaquah fags.
Issaquah-peeps, are WAY to stuck up.

I'd rather be with kids who have a jist of what money means.
And any way- i know almost all of the people who are in Liberty, and i'll know who stay away from and who not to. While, in Issaquah i would be new, have no idea who to be friends with and who not be. It'd be like Kindergarden all over again : O!!

Huuurrr, but yeah. I got my Schedual for Liberty though i'm in Honors Humanities now. XD i got jealous of Andrew and his Honors in everything. So i decided if i get the chance to possibly be in at least ONE of his classes, i'll change.
Plus, it gives me a little bit of Self Worth if i pass XD [which i probably won't.]

Onto the next thing[s]~>

Tanning. Uh.. Self explanitory >_<;;

Apparently i'm also SUPPOSE to be working out and stuff. And i have, but it's not because they're telling me to. XD it's because i gained like 20 lbs from the middle of 8th grade and Summer and i need to loose it. Because, uh, going to Cali in one week- and i'm not fitting too well in my clothes D: XD So far, i've lost about 3 lbs! nuhhh *perishes**fattygrunt*


During the 3-4/5 week absence of both Cellphone and Internet, i watched a shit load of TV.


And nothing has changed, i hate it all except for a few of the shows.
So i pretty much watched
eweuns of Naruto
Harvey Birdman
Frisky Dingo
reruns of FMA, some Inu if i got over how much i hated it, Bleach and Ghost in the Shell
Meerkat Manor
Reruns of Family Guy and Futurama
and practically everything else you could think of #_@;;

I have the internet, but i have the curfew*sp* of 10, so it's like, i have no time to really talk to anyone XD
and i still don't have my cellphone.
So all is well.
?

I think that's about all the important stuff here.
And D-GM isn't letting me see the full episode D: it's stopping at 6 min. Now i have to find some place that has it *sigh*


OHYEAH!
And Tsubasa is really good.
Juvenile Orion is really good also
Petshop of Horrors ending was BEAUTIFUL
disappointed in Shutterbox, but it's interesting.

[/edit 2]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/13596182/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/13596182/ Tue, 03 Jul 2007 18:13:48 PDT

Something did.


:3 i'm full of self loathe.


Everything i look at makes me think 'i fail'



YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE for low self esteem!

Keep up your smile! Just hold a little longer, wait until your lovely Gino comes to visit. Then you can mope until you hit Cali and see your lovely bestest friends both .Die. and Gino ^ ^




*perishes* yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah fuckyouSylnuswhywon'tyouletmedrawyoucorrectlyD::<<<<<



FOURTH OF JULY- WE WERE ONCE CONNECTED TO ENGLAND

NOW WE'RE NOT

CELEBRATEEEEEEE



yeah tomorrow i think is going to be pretty boring....
I think it's cool we're celebrating something like this, but the fact that we have to blow up stuff and sit around make a party..
Yeah, like i said before.. I'm not Social. So it's just like "okay.. there's a party.. now i'm going to sit here and stare at my family be idiots blowing up stuff and be left out because i'm the second youngest. Youngest is Mason, and .. i'm going slap that spoiled brat. He's not going to have teeth when he's 12...'


@________________________________________ ______________________________________2



long


'we still have time to dance! So let's dance!

[Edit]

^_^ 4th was actually pretty fun.

lots of excersize.

Played Wii like a madman

played the Miniclips gam like a madman

talked to a few people i haven't in a long time- though ended short D: [sorry Zack]

Ran around in my DeatNote shirt i made that many long ago X3[don't even remember] but i realize it's starting to wear thing D:

^_^ met a bunch of awesome peoples on Paintchat !

And listening to my lovely Daft Punk once more <3333 [thanks TARA for freaking selling my CD]

:3 still not social

[/edit]

[edit 2]

O_O i decided to go back and clean up my 'gallery' because.. i suck?

:3 horray for putting things in scaps!

[/edit]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/13363508/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/13363508/ Sat, 16 Jun 2007 01:04:02 PDT



themajorityofthetime


[Edit]

._.

I don't have the capability to socialize

[/edit]

[Edit 2]

=_= why is it everyone gets to go to concerts, or Conventions

places

I want to go to


fuck you all.

[/Edit 2]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/13206046/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/13206046/ Sun, 03 Jun 2007 18:31:50 PDT

Lyk srsly


>_> i mean, i've LOVED Kimimaro

[this is the first picture i ever saw him which made me automatically want to watch Naruto and see him (note: i'm still too lazy to go beyond the American epis of Naruto, but i will soon..)] -> [link]


and..
>_> guess who else

FUCKING ULQUIOLLA!!!! [and the many ways of spelling his damned name]

D: i loveee him!!!!!!!!!!!!

[link]


*humps him*

THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS MAN. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO INFATUATED WITH A SINGLE ANIME CHARECTER

EVER


I FUCKING LOVE THIS MAN

GIVE ME HIM
HE MAKES ME CRY JUST LOOKING AT HIM



>_< maybe because he reminds me so much of Dario

but, jesus FUCKING christ.

I .LOVE. URQUI!!





Fettishest. With.. bones.. *eats them up*


Ohyeah, and it's not just because of them. I realized it- because of them.

But for a long while, i've loved the hip Bone. I love pressing on it. And i love Ankles.
And i love backs.
I love wrists.
I love fingers.
I love CAWLER BONES.
I love the sound of bones cracking <3
I love pushing on the rib-cage.

I thought together it was just single fettishes.
But now i realize - it's all just a Bone Fettish >_>


*ps:
If it has more than one '!' it means it's SERIOUS man. SERIOUS.*

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/12642388/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/12642388/ Wed, 18 Apr 2007 12:16:36 PDT
HORRID I SAY


Eh..yeah, i've pretty much given up on life. It's like, i can find no willpower within myself to stand any more.
I don't want to go to school
i don't want to do my work
i don't feel up to attempting to converse with someone, or anyone

I lack all effort needed in a life that i've been able to maintain for so long.
I don't know what's gotten over me- suddenly i feel like i just want to collapse


i don't want to take showers, do anything. Not even draw.. I don't even want to listen to music O.O!
I just want to not be here.. I don't even want to watch people and listen in to their conversations.

It's never gotten this bad before.... I just want to die.. I feel like crying when i lay in bed, but of course, i cannot. I'm cried out for a long while.

i want to vomit randomly, and of course, my body won't let me.
I really have no idea what to do with myself... I keep saying suicide- but i'm too chickenshit and impatient for that.
plus, what are those talks with all my friends about? What am i going to say - "i just felt like dying. Okey? Sorry~" *said sarcastically*

i just don't know what to do with myself.... With any thing.

~
[Edit]
@_@ no worrying for you guys. I'm alright.


But i hate this computer *kicks it*

I have a lot of pictures i want to start coloring, but i want to scan them first and the comp isn't recognising the Scanner.

@_@ i might bring in a new Chara. He's a cutey. Inspired from Renji's markings, but looks like that other.. guu.. *points at 's icon* that guy from Bleach

>_> mmmm.. i might smell some Envy in the story soon :3
[/edit]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/12455122/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/12455122/ Wed, 04 Apr 2007 09:53:47 PDT
Nat just left on a top secret mission, and i fear for his life.

I really hope he comes back safe.

He went in place of someone who has a family. He said he probably can do it better than the other person any way..


I just really hope he comes back safe.

Everyone, please hope for his best ><

He deserves the best, yet he's had such a horrific life...



Huff... on a.. lighter note- i guess... "Xylo" and Nick can no longer go to school.
So there goes all my fun in school out of the door.

Nina's a backstabber
Sheady's still annoying..



I don't know what to do again.. Nat.. come back!

[edit]
I'm counting down the days until he comes back.
HE WILL COME BACK!
I have faith.

Day 1...
[/edit 1]
[edit]
Day..fucking.. 2...-_-

Now on SpringBreak with a hardly capable computer to play WoW- and most of all... No Nat to talk to and spend my latenights with, because i dun have a bed time now! ; ; ...Well, for the week...
[/edit 2]

[edit]
3rd day ..
So..tired..
So bored..

Watching Bleach, so far, only on Episode 30.. Well, end of 30. Which is about 6 or less Epi's away from American ones..

After Bleach- Naruto...
I wanna know what's all this hub-bub about Naru.
And while watching- i watch Outlaw Star in my room.After OS, i watch HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE.

I miss a lot of things- of which everyone should know, my main one..


Ichigo does remind me of Nat O_'O ? *pokes him*

..come bbaaaackkk loveeeyyyyyyy!! *cries*
*angrily watches Bleach being CONSTANTLY reminded of the one i'm currently missing*
[/edit 3]

[Edit]
I kind of feel..betrayed..
I, again, dont know what to do..
With myself, or anybody else.
Can i trust them any more..?
Him, or her?

Day 4, has approached.
[/edit 4]
[/edit]

HE'S BACK! I'M SO HAPPY!! *diesxthousand* ^ ^ HAPPY EASTERRR!!!!
[/edit 5]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/12362225/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/12362225/ Wed, 28 Mar 2007 12:27:40 PDT
Massive amounts of WoW though.

I miss my Twiggy.

Haven't talked to her in a while.


But really, currently. I'm going insane.

Emotions, too much ...



It's mainly hate and insecurity.

This morning i felt like crying, and so i went into the bathroom, the one that no one goes into.

But, behold. Two chicks came in and stared at me until i left.
so.. i retreated to Mr. Adam's room, where i stayed for about 2 minutes rubbing the pencil markins off the desk before the bell rung.


All i can think of is "I hate this school" "I don't want to be here" "Where do i want to be?" "I don't want to sleep.." "Should i play WoW? no..too much"

I feel like i'm in a rut, atm

It's nice though, that Gina got WoW
I get to talk to her a lot more.

I feel bad though- i'm 69 and she's..18.. I want to help her, but i might suck up all the Exp, and plus, i have alts i want to level when i get sio to 70

And i need to farm money for Sio.

Er, stuff.


but really, the only thing that's making me happy atm is talking about WoW.

As Nat knows, a few days ago i just got..really mad, and felt like stabbing myself in the eye. It lasted until the next day at 5th period when i talked to Jason about WoW

which was nice- because we were making fun of the people in the picture that were all like.. Neh, the Constitution peoples, and he was like "THAT ONES A PALI!" and i was like "NOES! No hand of justice... THERE'S A ROGUE! RIGHT THERE! HE'S STEALING THE CONSTITUTION!!!"
And we giggled

It was nice.

I was pretty brood today until 3rd period, when i was researching Manga, anime, and .. uh WoW

Sio sio sio


XDDD i found out there's 4 Natashla's in all of WoW


pretttyyy funny!

XD i think they're all Nat's. *pats him*


Er, okay i'm feeling a tad bit better.

Though i feel like i'm complaining too much.
But really, all i want to do is leave this school. I'm tired of it. Truly.

I have Creative Writing next period.

And i'm in the middle of 7th grade Lunch.


i lack all things that i need.

No inspiration- no hand eyecordination - no athleticness - can't play WoW-can't sleep correctly- i don't do much but take up space and air

ER why is the pagr all flipping out.

I hate the librarian the most. *glares at her*


and lunch is over.


Sayonara.

[Edit 1]
So.. Creative writing i listened to Ali be a jackoff, tried to hide from people in the hall and left.
5/6 was a fire drill. Our project is squished, and still due Fri.

To make it better, is that my whole group didn't want to be a partner with me, so it's me, against the remaining 3 of them.


I'm so tired of this school.
i'm so tired of these people

i want to cry. I almost did- that would be 4-5 times today my pride stopped me.

I don't know what to do.. my will-power is slowly depleating. I don't want to move, i just want to sit, and let my body hang there, limp.
I don't want to think....
I don't want to do anything..

I want to be gone- but i want people to be happy.


Why am i always like this?

I hate myself so much.. I wonder how long this will last.

Oh, look. I'm finally.. kind of crying.




To make things worse- i have Mathhomework too. And.. It's converting fractions into percentages..
I have..no idea how to do that.
I know how to do reverse, of that. Because it's simple, copying.

Oh.. my.. gawd, why do i have to fail at everything so badly....?

[/edit]

[edit 2]

Yesterday was awkward.
I went to school feeling slightly miserable because Nat and i had a .. Fight like thing. And i wasn't sure if he was mad at me or not.

So i died.. And.. went to school, and tried to be as "normal" as possible. Sheady, of course being loud. Didn't see Nina...

Went on the comp in Creative Writing and found a new artist who draws her WoW charas. The pictures are really wonderful.

Finished up 5/6 with telling Marcus i hate him in front of the whole class and read Call To Freedom book- i need to do a review on it because i was too mad in school to write.

Went home... checked Emails. Yay Nat's not mad any more! Sela called me asked me to go to the mall with her. Said i'll ask- called... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/11300641/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/11300641/ Wed, 03 Jan 2007 12:23:22 PST
still can't get Drea off of my mind

Ahh, people next to me are looking at Naruto stuff O.o

pcht, narutards.

Anyway-SHEADIE IS BEING STUPID


YES
he says thanks

haha

XD gina you need to meet my friends
you'll love them <3



XDD ack, yeah still thinking of the Drea's sexyness ; ;

chris is will love it <3

XD i still like how i was annoying Gino last night with the textxtxtss and whatnot

i think i need to go to health now O.o?


Damn I hate this school

SHEADIE STOP CALLING ME A LIAR


SHEADY

OOPS

O_o she-deeee


XDDKLHASFHSDL

x

cef




Ack, he's really sdlkgjsd DAMMIT


O_o what is going on..

he's still really close o.o Sheady, leave me be!

O_o Sela cut her bangs
XD and i haven't seen them
So did Nina

O_o Nina's is like my bangs except she doesn't straighten them


fucking whoresss

i hate this school
i hate this life

i hate everythinggggg



D::: where is a gun when i need it

FUCKING WHORES LIKE SHITERGYSDFM

[edit 2]

haha, two updates in one day!

D: Diru make me happy

*hugs my albums*

Ack, Sheady got me in trouble. Techincally. The lady kept saying we were loud when it was the kids beside us.

She's a cunt
she's mad because i printed out Diru, Bauhaus, Malice Mizer, and MYV pictures <3

because i have a life inside the music world of hottpeople and she's just jealous of my foreign lovers <3


pissed of at DA for updating. I can't use it any more.

This is of no use to me.
I'll probably not ..update again..
Arrr i just finished pictures that i enjoyed making too D:

and where will i put my chara pictures!?

stupid..ahh i need to take a shower *falls asleep*
[/edit 2]

[Edit 3]

i feel bad for my sister

She's getting nagged about getting a job all the time
and now her carneeds an oilrepair thingy and she doesn't have the money to fix it

she's trying to get a job- but because of the snow she couldn't put in her application.

>< yeah.. i feel really bad.
Chris keeps butting into our conversations and holds Tara below him.
So she just gets pissed off and leaves.

I think, Chris is just done with her- thinking just because she's 18 she seems to rule the world.
She knows she doesn't. Though sometimes, yes she seems like it. But she hasn't been at the house- and she keeps being made fun of.
I don't want to cause her trouble

But she keeps being so smiteful to me when she IS around.
I don't get it. I want revenge, yet i don't.

I feel really bad. >_> i don't know where she is currently, she didn't take the car..

It's kind of getting me worried..

I wish there was something i could do to keep us both happy without something going wrong, or someone abusing something.

/sigh

[/Edit 3]

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/11098514/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/11098514/ Sun, 17 Dec 2006 19:35:13 PST
Lalallalalallalalala
So i'm at my uncles at this very moment watching the Green Mile and in queue for WoW

of course

So, as a lot of people have heard Oregan, Washington, and i think somewhere else lost a lot of power after the wind storm ?

Anddd 1.5 thousand/million [whocars] people have no power

woot owot we're one of those houses !

Didn't get crushed, unlike my sister's boyfriend's house [with 3 trees and whatnot smashing the poor house]

But we have no energy. Our house is literally frozen, and there's nothing to doo. Too dark during the night also.
Way too dark.

Mother's tropical fish died by being frozen and suffocated.

It ..was pretty sad to watch.

Thursday was the night we lost our power, and my cousin came over-but we couldn't call him to tell him of our no power because our phones didn't work.

So, out of boredom we [as in cousin, my sister, and me] drove out to the town to find a market, sense you know. They don't have backup power and it was time to get some foodforcheap

As we drove down the road.. heh, creepy. Yeah, dark, hollow. Like silenthill. And i do live in one of those quaint towns.

We got to the market and my cousin bought us candy! yays! he's nice.
So we went back home waiting for my sister's friend to call her back so they can leave and spend the night at a powered, warm house. Of which they left.
Shortly after i drew a stupid comic and slept.
With the dogs.

It was..decently nice. It was cold.

So.. i wake up a few times, it' still pitchblack. So for the last time i open my eyes to see light, but i decided to stil lsleep because it was cold. My dad comes in later [Wait...reverse that..? For some reason we had no power in our house to heat us, or see. But i was able to turn on my PS2, TV and play FFX because i couldn't find Chaos Legion, i wasn't tired, and that's when the light turned off completely.Which is why i went to sleep{XD now i'm confused}] but anyway. He came in and was like "wake up we're going to your uncles"
And..so i got up.
It..was so wierd/freaky.

We mainly left because the food was thawing and we just went grocery shopping. So why waste food? We CLEARED out our fredge. I've never seen anything so empty.
It felt like we were litterally in a rush from an automic bomb and driving out of the state to get away from it.

Wierd man.
So.. we call my uncle, he doesn't pick up. We notify my sister and my cousin of what's going on.
Our truck was on Empty for like two days. So.. we went out of our way to almost EVERY gas station we passed to see if they had power. The first one, that had power, had just run out of gas. So.. we went the next one, which had a huge line. Next, out of power. Next, huge line we couldn't even see the end of it. Next, out of power. Next, out of power. Last, line, but we got in front of this nice guy. We got our gas and moved out, out of much stress. The whole time, my dad was yelling we were low, we coudln't find a working ga station, the food was going everywehre, the dogs kept moving around and more tension. The phones were out of bateries because they were searching for service the whole previous day. And people were going insane to get some gas O_O

So we finally get to my uncles. And.. we woke him up. Moved our food into his fridge [which is PACKED now] and got some in the other fridge. Sat around for a long while, my sister and my cousin came and they went swimming after along while. I played my mother's DS. Got obsessed with the PSP and LocoRoco, and now determined to get one . There's where my xmas money is going.

So, my sister leaves to her boyfriends house. And.. we... kind of watch some movies, pornos were on that scared me XD! And.. i slept. In the dark again.

Second day[or 3rd day o the no power]! Today! we woke up, got coffee, sat around for a while. Packed up and went home to check if we have power. When we got to the house our door was unlocked!? It..was also, pretty freaky. Walked inside, grabbed all the entertaining things and moved out. My sister came with her boyfrend, packed, and left in her bluebomber [XD aka her car with studded tires][?] ... and we left to my uncle's again! Came back to a locked door, which fortunately my uncle came back from work at that moment. We put our stuff in the 1roomapartment thingy he's living in.
Mind you~
My dad
my mom
my sister
my cousin
my uncle
and my uncles room-mate
plus two dogs
are in this one roomed apartment.

Which, i must say it's pretty nice. But he's movin... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/10587687/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/10587687/ Wed, 01 Nov 2006 21:48:33 PST
[edit 1]
Sela truly is one of the greatest friends anyone could have..
I wish i could repay her for what she does for me

[/ edit 1]
[edit 2]
I'm pretty sure i have mono right now XD
NO- I HAVE NOT MADE OUT WITH COUNTLESS PEOPLE

NO I DIDN'T MAKE OUT WITH MADDIE EITHER
but i'm pretty sure i got it from her


whole storry in arrows!
Rachel Tanay/Amber someone[one of Maddie's friends] ->licked Maddie's candybar because Maddie wanted mono->i drank out of her soda thingy on the bus and she THEN told me she had mono->i got sick yesterday night, about an hour before i went to sleep at Sela's. But the previous 4 days before i went to bed my throat and naselpassage would hurt->Sela thinks we shared something[asinfood] and she thinks she might have it now O.o

woot woot had fun at Sela's

She ate rocks. Because she was too highinthesky. And she got mad because i didn't stop her XD! it was funny. She called Sheadie a Puerto Recan[sp]! And their bong was made out of a soda can! Wow, that ..was interesting.
Nina is pretty obnoxious
and i finally got my 2nd [THANKS TO BITCHWHORENICOLE WHO DECIDED TO SCRATCH MY CDS AND STEAL ALL OF MY NIN CDS AND NOT TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUTH] CD of Descendents of Darkness. Finally- i've been craving listening to Hisoka D:!

I..want..Fang Bang.... i listened to W13 today while burning Sela's CD, and..man.. i love W13 so much. XD i haven't listened to Bauhaus in a long time too..

OHMAN, i don't like the brown part of CandyCorn.
I'M DONE WITH CANDY CORN!
[next year around halloween watch me crave it again XD!]
Kameko likes the brown part of the Candy Corn..
I wonder if i can give Kameko mono?
man..i'm fat.. XD i'm too lazyyyyyy and i need to do my homework!
It's almost December! Which means Sela comes back in 2nd Trimester!! woooooootttt!
man i need a CD player too
Oh, and my Ban and Ginji poster.
Man, i need to hang it up! But i don't know how without ruining one of the three posters in one!

*wiggles* GINJII IAND BANNNN REMINDS ME OF LI AND TIDUSSSS!!

Li is a druggy
XD Gina and i had a conversation about this today...
er yesterday
fuck it's Sunday
D:
*rambles on* i want Sela's camera, but i got a camera last year for Christmas DX man i suck so bad
i want to watch Donnie Darko...

I'm listening to Kittie's Spit album

mmmmgoodness
"watch the blood run down her face, but don't take notice, watch the blood run down her arms, please don't take notice, i know you love her so, and i see it in your eyes, she knows you ever so, and she sees it in your eyessssss-now her soul is dead. Now her bodies raw, wash away her pain...." and the last part i can't understand...ears? what?

I want to play WoW
D: i'm onlyyyyy 43! On my way closeclose to 44! I've been getting my XP in SM XDDD
ohman... I found out the Orchestra teacher at my school plays WoW... Which makes TWO teachers at my school have been playing WoW. CRAZY.
Oh- i want that Kobold shirt that says "you no take candle!" man so funny..


..ewww XDD i need tissues.. my poor jacket
it needs to get washed
and i need to get my DruidNecklace from my jacket before i wash it.
and i need to take a shower
i need to do a lot of things
but i'm too lazy and think i'm busy when i'm actually just watching a bunch of shows in my spare time and get interested in them, or eat..or..just..sit around.. and think i'm busy
when i'm not

I'm pretty okay with my grades considering we have about a week left of this Trimester. Of which i have 2 B's, an A, a C, and a D
D= PE/it's probably an F now, but mr. sullivan hasn't updated the basmateh in a month
C= math because i can't do basic math
B- = Science, i'm missing my Moonsheet, which isn't finished because i can't figure it out o.O
B=Humanities with Mistah Adams [woo i saw CUTEYWOOTYFATTYWATTY Breccon on Friday after the Pep Assembly] and that's mainly because i do really bad on all my assignments D:
A=Humanities with Adams again..which..i think's it's like.. an A- really because i did bad on a test or something..

woot woot
I want to DRIVEEE
I'm wearing my M[n?]uroNeko wristband! I loveeee Triguunnn!!
MY STUMMY IS GOING TO EXPLODE
Oh, i sit in the middle of Cody and Zack in Math. And oh em geeeee{ay see kay teee}[XDwootwoot] they're so funny.. Though Mrs. Weik gets really mad
and i hope i did good on the last Geometry test considering i forgot the Diameter, and Circumference formulas because we learned that LAST YEAR and Mrs. Weik decided to NOT TEACH US and then hold a test the next day after the day we were SUPPOSE t... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/10265533/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/10265533/ Mon, 02 Oct 2006 21:42:27 PDT

[edit]
O_o just for information
i have about 2 pictures i want to update with-but Comcast is freakin' out man. And so our internet and phones aren't working.

On the other side of things- ...ionno. Grades still suck, Sela keeps leaving. I'm attempting to revert back to my old self.

Ohyes- and i'm very hungry with no money at school..


ps- i suck

pss- yes..they're still gone
[/edit]

[edit 2]
i've taken it upon myself to finish my part of the story


Considering it seems like there will be no future of it.
I'm going to name down the end of story events for my characters.

Nami goes off with Kari, i think they die eventually
Noel kills Spike again, and they just perish together
Kurai dies of an illness
Mana goes insane and disappears
Dario eventually kills himself
Lou becomes forever drunk and mopes around too much~ mainly after Tristan and Tarin [?] are adults
Tidus most likely gets too pissed off at Li and ODs himself trying to show Li that drugs are bad
Meilin continues as she has been.
Mari probably eventually dies of old age
Alaios most likely dies in a war
Axio probably kills himself after his so-often-attempt of making everyone happy, along with Alaios's death
Jack disappears and never comes back
Nicholas probably does something to piss off Drealiny and gets killed
Ariyu probably dies of old age
Chris probably disappears also, or he kills himself again
Orin kills himself
Onette stays in her room for eternity
Alex silently goes insane but continues to take his pills
Siren dies of old age- or fighting someone while drunk and was stabbed to death
Spencer most likely gets taken again and disappears forever
Victoria probably lives on
Kaity dies of old age after being confined in her house/mansion for eternity :3 [notice the pattern of females?]
Cédric most likely goes insane and kills, attempts, or hurts Azure badly, and then kills himself on OD, or either stabs himself
Koal burns himself eventually after several years of not taking his pills. He most likely brings Kimera with him..
Ezekiel..continues to be a bastard pirate whore
Thorn attempts at taking Dario's place, but then eventually realizes what he is and follows his race's rules and becomes a permanent Noniaphiatte
Vanarian will most likly whither to death again
Kazumi most likely goes insane and drinks himself to death.
Afidaious will most likely be captured eventually, and reincarnated, or even killed. Or! His guilt trips get so bad he leaves Azure and never seen again.. or Cédric kills him :3
Cirus probably gets killed by his older brother
Damien most likely leaves with Nero and their never head of again
Same thing for Sloan
Kyle probably kills himself while in his coma of vomiting blood and sharp objects
Billy probably falls off the rool of their house and dies
Cleche will most likely never be heard from again
Glajhia dies of old age
Aleafia and Shalafai most likely get in a fight and kill each other
Getna probably dies of old age- or, by himself [maybe even with his wife] become a human
Yunri grows up to be a slave to the Creators, and Guardian, and the Elders, ect
Conerr most likely dies of old age or goes with Getna
Soe probably gets in the way of something and gets killed



..that's about all of them that are written down in the Biography page thingy i have of them.

...hmm..Well.. I'm still pretty pissed off my Ipod got stolen

..hmm..
Yeah~ i don't think they're ever coming back.
And if you don't know who "they" are.. then.. hmm.. you just haven't been paying attention i suppose? But who would want to pay attention to me any who?

Plus- for those of you who actually read, and stuff, and waste your time on my shittyness, i apologize for
1:wasting your time.
2:updating so much this month

[/edit 2]
[edit 3]
..ho..wow.. I'm pretty sure this month is just cursed now or something.
It's really been a bad month.
Mainly, as you can tell from the entries above- i was having mental-detatchment problems.
Ohh! Guess what now!
My friend's mom died on Friday from liver failure. She was internally bleeding for 3 days, within those 3 days she was feeling faint. My friend told her to go to the doctors, but her mom insisted that she was fun.
Friday-..she had died while my friend was at a picnic with her other friend. She messaged be on Monday telling me it all, and asked for me to call her. Because we hadn't talk in a long while. I talked to her, she really seems to be taking it well. Though, i really just don't k... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/10197520/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/10197520/ Tue, 26 Sep 2006 20:08:09 PDT fucking
hate
humanity





Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. But someone (XD joking Nate)

X3 practically my only friend i met on DA

T3h master of t3h intARnet

Sin my Hermaphrodite

Dani Filth is her bitch!

Zahzah! Tongan's are enlightenment! *ravishes Sela*

]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9992507/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9992507/ Wed, 06 Sep 2006 19:41:43 PDT

Hurr for narcissistic reasons i'm going to explain VIVIDLY to every last detail of which i can remember through my VERY TIRED brain right now to write this entry of my first day of EIGHT GRADE.

So..i HAVE to get off the comp by 11 but i was updating so my rents let me finish it. But after i was done updating which was like 11:12 my friend from WoW [Jenn] IMs me on MSN and was like "I feel shitty" and so i ask why. And it turns out her online friend is trying to commit suicide. So i'm like "okay tell her she has things to look forward to" ect ect and she's like "I've already done that" and i'm like "well.. Teenagers are usually just angsty. The majority of teenagers don't even go through Suicide. So she should be fine" and she's like "uh..that's the problem. She's not a teenager" and i'm like "ER?" and she was like "she's a mom.." and i'm like "WTEEE??? WHY IS SHE TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE IN FRONT OF HER CHILDREN! SHE'S AN IDIOT!" and to sum up this small part-she got suicidal because he boyfriend broke up with her and her children are about Jenn/my age. And we're freaking out.. But i HAVE to go before getting yelled at by my parents so i wish her good luck and hope that everything will turn out alright for her and her friend then leave.

So i get in bed..... uhh nothing to do.. Check and make sure my clothes look alright [considering i was a Pirate for the first day of school yeah i kick ass]. and so about a few hours of adding and taking away things i get back in bed and listen to Dresden Dolls up until The Jeep Song, of which i HATE that song.. But good thing it stops.. But the bad thing is that i liked The Slide song which is AFTER the Jeep Song so i couldn't listen to it for the lack of energy my stereo decides to not have when i need it the most. So i listen to the Radio for a bagillion more hours.. And finally when i was about to fall asleep i was listening [out of habit now] to make sure nothing's in my room that's going to attack me as i sleep... then as i was about to fall asleep I LOVE EGG PLAYS BECAUSE SELA TEXTS ME THAT DAMIAN WAS IN HER DREAM SAYING "Sorry i'm late and have a good year" and apparently talked on but Sela was too mesmorized by his prettyness. So i talk to her for a little while and i'm like "Arg..thanks for giving me a seizure, are you alright? need to call" and she's like "nooo i can't call. I accidently woke my mom up when i was trying to get a piece of paper and something fell and she got mad for waking her up at 4 in the morning" and i'm like "okeeyy" and then she was like "sleep and don't miss the bus!" and so i attempt sleep again. Then i curse Sela for a few more hours because i was ALMOST asleep then she HAD to wake me up.. So i attack her with texts and she calls, and it's about 5-6 in the morning. And we talk for a little while and we're like "weee" so then she had to hang up because her mom drove into the driveway and she wasn't sure if she was supposed to be awake.

Soo..like more bagillion years later i'm ALMOST asleep. i was actually unconsious and had the beginning of my dream which was like i was laying in bed and my mom POPS into the room yelling "WOO GUESS WHAT!" and me getting mad that she just woke me up and i had JUST gotten to sleep and was like "grrr what" and she was like "I GOT YOUR WATCH!" and i was like "OHYAY!"
...But then my mom in real life POPED INTO MY ROOM LIKE SHE DID IN MY DREAM AND WAS LIKE "GUESS WHAT!? YOU HAVE SCHOOL!!!!" and i have a seizure then look at the clock and was like "It's 7:21! Not 8!!" and she's like "NOT 8!? BUT YOUR SCHOO-" "..it's wednesday. LATE START" "...oh.." then she walked out kind of sadly then i was like "grrr..was i being mean..-_---"... "crap now i can't go back to sleep.. THANKS MOM" so i get up and have a bagle and talk about Steve Irwen's death to mother and how they're not going to release the movie of him getting attacked by the stingray because i heard it on the Adam Corrolla show in the morning and she's like "i don't want to see it.." and i'm like "i do.. i want to see what happens when you touch those" and she's like "Yeah, well thing of his family. They don't want to see that. They don't want to see him die.." and i'm like..."...oh..yeah..you're right.." [yes i saw 'like' a lot]
so then she watches the news for alittle then i run upstairs to get ready. And i'm done in about 10-20 minutes and i go downstairs to watch Inu-Yasha because i haven't watched the new epi from last week while waiting for the buss considering i have more than a half hour to waste. And my mom and my sister leave. And then i hear wierd squeakybussynoises and i'm like "Agh...just for my safety and for the sake of being yelled at i'll go out at 8:49 instead of 9" and so i sit out there in... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9953703/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9953703/ Sun, 03 Sep 2006 16:51:55 PDT
I think i might disappear for a few more days

You people are making me "sad"

maybe it's just the monkey hat?
Anyway.. i feel better on WoW it seems.. :/ even though i'm useless. But i guess it's because i can be someone else...plus i just got my mount thanks to a level 60 who gave me 30g after doing a short Uldaman instance

Anyway
new ipod works

I suck

school shopping
School's next week


I'm going to disappear now
No calling unless you're Gina [and Twiggy. But Twiggy doesn't call any way, so there's really no point in even saying this]



If you need to talk to me then wait until i get on AIM if i get on AIM.


Good day to you all


"I SAID GOODDAY!"~mister Wanka


Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. But someone (XD joking Nate)

X3 practically my only friend i met on DA

T3h master of t3h intARnet

Sin my Hermaphrodite

Dani Filth is her bitch!

Zahzah! Tongan's are enlightenment! *ravishes Sela* ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9719631/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9719631/ Mon, 14 Aug 2006 00:04:19 PDT It's repulsive
and confusing.

On the lighter note.
I just came back from a week [8 days] spent in a small Cabin with over 36 Tongan's. One including my lovely friend Sela.
An EXTREMELY small summary of what happened >
got attacked by fish and stepped on them as they attacked O.o it felt WIERD
slept in a small tent except for the last two days
Coyotes came into the backyard and Shadow was freaking out
Cat/Jagger kept getting out
got a tan kind of. Though it shows up a lot on my hands O.o it's a tan of my armwarmers+fishnet
got a kewl monkey hat i'm going to be taking a picture with soon
finished a picture that lasted me the whole week that i will be uploading because i feel accomplished about it
went to the beach
was hit on by a hillbilly that turned around and stayed in the dunes. We stayed on the beach for a while, but it was really cold and we were freaking out about the guy. So we were about to head back when her cousins came and we freaked out on them. Then he kept getting really close to Nici's truck O.O
Nici's laugh is funny
Saveh[?] is such a cute happy fat baby
Alono i'm going to kill for poking me in the crotch with a hot marshmellow covered poker
Andrew too. But because he reminds me of the idiots at school.
Mameh is such a cutey. I hope she turns out really succesful. She's got great potential
Ann-Mary was funny. She makes faces back at you
It was Iseah's birfyday party on Saturday. He got a kickass bike that looks like a motorcycle
we saw a pirate in Westport. And he played the flute.
Tongan's are hard to understand
Rest in Peace Prince and Princess of Tonga. And that 3-4 hour funeral you had... Was long.
i ate year old icecream. And we were so tired we laughed a crumb in it, and how someone was stupid enough to take two giant scoops out of it. X3 i thought i was the only one who's unsanitary enough to eat expired icecream!?
the nights were freaky
something kept walking around our tent
something was in the trees
i saw something like Thomas run across the street after seeing the orange flicker atop the stop light [and mind you, no cars, and there was no orangereflector thingy on the stop sign]
it getting dark suddenly after that
feeling humiliated because her mom thinks we have an Anxiety disorder now XD
her uncle Tekai/Telai is funny.
Mana's really kewl. I kind of feel bad that she's being used- but at the same time. She flaunts her money. But again. She has every right to do so, she's a smart person that's for sure. Considering she's very succesful.
Sandy's kewl. She was loud. But really kewl and nice.
I've got something on my right arm. Like..bugbites.. But sometimes they don't itch, sometimes they do. And they just came out of no where..
I cried
Tongan food is enlightenment
"Shutup dog" ~quote unquote Nici will be my favorite
Mike feels captured
Sela keeps calling Mike Mick.. X3 because it's spelled Mic, but it's pronounced Mike..O.o
Sela still loves Damian. And Vair loves HER
Sela finally realized how jealous and selfish i am
AOL sucks ass
Sela's successful
she will be successful in the future.
Daina is funny because she's only like 3 and she can kick your ass.
...it's bad..always..bad. To have carpet in your bathroom.
i think it's funny how ghetto they are. :3 but it's a good ghetto.
there was more.. but i can't remember right now..

hmhmhmyes. ;3 will most likely update later.
Happy early birfyday G




Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. B... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9560306/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9560306/ Mon, 31 Jul 2006 23:12:48 PDT
and want the new patch
STILL

[i'm going to talk about it until school starts, SO WHATEVER]


I'm going to Westport with Sela this Friday.
Huzzah!
I just need some Cabin Addresses and it'll be all good

I've never done any thing like this before.
I'm..confused on what to do
i don't want to be a hassle to her family
but the majority of clothes i will be wearing in Westport will be huge/thick
so i might have to bring a very big back
..but that will be too much space
and clothes + sleeping bag and my backpack









XD isuck. I know.



UPDATE FOR THE FRIENDS.
fuckyouall..
i'm tired X3!

Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. But someone (XD joking Nate)

X3 practically my only friend i met on DA

T3h master of t3h intARnet

Sin my Hermaphrodite

Dani Filth is her bitch! ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9452559/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9452559/ Fri, 21 Jul 2006 21:15:16 PDT

*snuffs* no one reads journals except me. X3 why do i bother? But i got a very good sketch from her. And lovles it.


Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. But someone (XD joking Nate)

X3 practically my only friend i met on DA

T3h master of t3h intARnet

Sin my Hermaphrodite ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9261971/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9261971/ Mon, 03 Jul 2006 14:38:03 PDT
so we could go to the Container store for mother


Tara and i both grew very hungry

So after mum perchased her containing stuff[?] we left for Rice'N'Roll

We ordered, and mum left to go look at shoes [but to her dismay the cute shoes were 2 sizes too big]

While she was away, both Tara and i awaited.
A man was on his cell phone talking, quite loudly, and with food in his mouth filling his piehole with more sushi.

After a while his 'gangster' looking friend came up.

After a few seconds the man came up to us and, with a sly look, he said:
So..um... Yeah.. So what do you call yourself? [looks at both Tara and i]

Me:..*puzzled*?

The man: I mean like.. What's your style, are you raver? Like..what?

Tara and me look at each other{me clearly seeing she doesn't want to talk}/Me: I'm Jrock..? {i said Jrock because i was wearing my Kyo shirt, cat ears, orange highlightyextensionthingies, orange petticoat, black laced skirt overm, my wristbands, and my boots-which in my mind is the cross of Raver, lolita/just me? Which is usually put into the section of Jrock?/also i didn't want to rant and rave onto this complete stranger about how i prefer not to be called 'gothic' and the elements of jrock and what and how i dress considering it's just a giant mix of what i like}

Man: *blinks confused* oh really? What does it come from.. i mean like- what does it originate from ?

Me:.. Japan?

Man: oh really!? Wow that's really kewl. I thought it was maybe raver, or European. It looks European..~he began walking to the counter to take his order~

Me: yeah, it's a mix ~Tara and i walk to get our order~

When we left he said bye, but both Tara and i didn't think he was talking to us.. So i feel kind of bad- he might've thought we snubbed him!


^_^ i found him quite the nice person though- i just wish i could have gotten a picture of him. Two minutes later my sister laughed at me 'jrock haha ha'

XD then she told my mum and when she said "and she said Jrock." {in that tone where she mocks me} my mum just nodded and smiled in agreement with my style and not with Tara's mockery.
^_^ it made me feel better. My sister's always getting down my neck about what i say.

But anyway~ yeah. I've been pretty good.. Friends birthdays are coming up. Twiggy and Gino- tell me when you get your presents so i can upload the pictures i'm giving you two.

Much love¬

Seth The Muffin



Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. But someone (XD joking Nate)

X3 practically my only friend i met on DA

T3h master of t3h intARnet

Sin my Hermaphrod... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9030717/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9030717/ Sat, 10 Jun 2006 18:55:38 PDT I got tagged by *Niwlun

1. Hmm..there's not much to say. As a child i've been obsessed with my mothers gargoyales, aliens, imaginary friends. Ect ect kind of stuff. Also quite obsessed with my uncles/mother's music.
Of which i can remember:
Bauhaus/Peter Murphy
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Smashing Pumkins
NIN [as a child i called them 'the st st song'{listen to Closer}]
No Doubt
Orgy
Bob Marley
and some others i can't think of right now and am too lazy to go look at her CDs

2. Since the day when living in my Grandma's house before coming to Washington my sister broke my Frodo [from LOTR] Action Figure's head. From that day every time she threatens me, or says something in a manner.. or just straight up agitates me the anger inside me boils up and i have urges to choke her, stomp on her head, eat her face, and other things that indescribable. I actually attempted to kill her that day she broke his head.

3. "I'm really into serial killers and urban legends. I love that morbid stuff, studying human's bad side and things like that. If I wasn't about to come in an art program in college, I'd probably try criminology and ethnology programs."-Maude
I too have obsessions with Serial Killers. John Wayne Gracy is the one i've liked the most so far. I watch shows about the serial killers because it gives me new methods of killing people. It also enlightens me in the genius of humans. Like Hitler; i find it amazing how they can squeeze out of things and not be caught. Some of the time. Although i haven't really been able to find the quizes from so long ago that told in full detail of different serial killers i am still madly obsessed with them. I know little of the ones i've enjoyed the most-which is why i'm still in my 3 year quest for that quiz.

4. I'm paranoid of having disorders. Although i want them badly.
XD like i'm paranoid of being paranoid
I wish i was Schizo
i believe myself as a border line obsessive compulsive
I have twitching problems with out realizing it
I have sudden urges to kill people, make loud noises, stab something/someone, and other..things XD?

5. Only until recently had i realized- as a child even though i was so ignorant of things i was still infuriated with the human race. In the privacy of my room i would practice killing someone.. And several times i would plot against my sister or one of our neighbors..

6. I believe that my stuffed animals, barbies, and others of that sourt can actually talk and move. With souls, ect ect. Even though i neglect them- i know they're watching O.o



I tag

~



XD well since i'm already updating.
My current position is quite ...eh..busy. XD or mixed. Either way.
I've downloaded Limewire and it's so great; becauseit atleast hs 3 songs by the band. XD and that's enough.
So i'm going crazy trying to figure out/remember a bunch of bands Vi-la's mentioned in her Xanga entries.
XD and the wierd thing is. EVERY SINGLE time Twiggy mentions someone in her entries on Livejournal i'm like 'hey..i had music by them before my computer was swiped. Ohshit- i should download some of their music' XD but then i feel bad because i'm like..following Twiggy every where

So now i have to go through Vi's entries and try to find the bands she's mentioned- get some of the music.

Also. Batsu's not helping. XD everytime i go there to look for a new band or a band i haven't heard their music yet. I get sidetracked by this huge forum of a band i already know XD that happened yesterday with Gazette.
I was looking around to find all the band member's names of Gazette becausei hadn't gotten all of them [which the missing was Kai] and then i got sidetracked by the forums asking for their songs and pictures. And then i started drooling of Reita ->~new wallpaper explains that~<- and then it got too late and i had to leave XDD

Ahh i need down... ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9014259/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/9014259/ Fri, 09 Jun 2006 00:18:53 PDT


happy birthday Maddie Harnos.
Happy birthday Uruha [thank you Twiggy for getting me more into Gazette. I owe both you and Gina a lot]



Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. But someone (XD joking Nate)

X3 practically my only friend i met on DA

T3h master of t3h intARnet ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/8925645/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/8925645/ Tue, 30 May 2006 23:04:00 PDT and my 2 Miyavi Cds
got my Loveless Vole 2: Soul of Chains
and now waiting for my Diru shirt to arrive

Things have been well of course.
Just passing the time by- trying to make things better.. Been turning out getting really fusterated and making things worse or just the same..

Eh..i lost my touch..

-_- i'mjust tired.. i.. don't...care any more..



Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. But someone (XD joking Nate)

X3 practically my only friend i met on DA

T3h master of t3h intARnet ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/8839765/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/8839765/ Sun, 21 May 2006 22:33:24 PDT

happy birthday hon- sorry i can't talk to you via MSN.X3 mainly because you're not on.

But i also wasn't at home the whole day..

But i send a lot of love to you hon; and may your birthday wishes come true. Along with having a splendorouse birthday ^_~

now for spam time.HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAUDE! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW OLD YOU ARE NOW X3333


~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/8754562/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/8754562/ Fri, 12 May 2006 23:11:46 PDT

And i can't take a picture

the trees are in the way


and the vibes from outside tell me something's there

I hope it's a vampire


but i'm kind of scared to go out..what if it isn't?

Sela says to not deny the vibes

But the moon is leaving me

it's behind the trees- hiding beneath the clouds

I wish you would stay with me

and continue to be as bright as you were

I love the lunar

I wish i could be cast into etertanal darkness.. But only with the moon to light my path..



[edit]
Oh shit there's something in the tree


Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. But someone (XD joking Nate)

X3 practically my only friend i met on DA

T3h master of t3h intARnet ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/8626614/ http://DeatheningForHavoc.deviantart.com/journal/8626614/ Sun, 30 Apr 2006 01:01:31 PDT and live in hate

What is this ?
Is this my life?
Is this what i've been waiting for?


Choke
choke
choke


All i see is blood
All i do is lust

Give me
give me
give me

I need your soul
i need your throat
give me your life
i need your blood



~~~~~~~~~~~
Just ..kind of popped into my head. Need some inspiration... it's mainly coming out in words rather thanpictures :/


Clubs


Friends

Death loves

Twiggy is lover

My Penguin

Not a lover. And not an online friend. But someone (XD joking Nate)

X3 practically my only friend i met on DA

T3h master of t3h intARnet ]]> ~DeatheningForHavoc