http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Demonic-Muffin&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Demonic-Muffin en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 10:52:29 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/27724205/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/27724205/ Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:19:31 PDT
Nuff said.











side note: tomorrow is school again. blegh.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26914908/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26914908/ Sun, 30 Aug 2009 12:08:29 PDT
It's impossible for me to make plans with ANYONE!

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26890010/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26890010/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 06:55:29 PDT
TV Shows I'm going to follow 2009/2010:

- Glee
- Heroes
- Fringe
- House
- Lost
- Human Target (JACKIE EARLE HALEY EACH AND EVERY FRIKKIN WEEK. FTW)
- Bones
- Flash Forward
- Mental
- the Mentalist (Mental is about a psych ward --YAY-- and Mentalist is
about a mentalist)
- V*
- The Office*
- Dexter*

*If I can get it on my cable/catch up/it's not cancelled

Hopefully I missed nothing.

Jesus Mother in Heaven, I watch too much TV. And I'm not counting Comedy Network or Robot Chicken cause you don't really "follow" those shows.

P.S. darkbunny (I forgot your name, sweetie) WATCH HUMAN TARGET OR I'LL FIND YOU AND FORCE YOU TO TiVO IT (if you have TiVO. I don't) OR SOMETHING. >:C
JEH, MOFOS.
JEH.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26834807/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26834807/ Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:15:15 PDT
]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26796124/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26796124/ Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:58:30 PDT
But girls really do have it harder. I can tell you right know almost every girl size 8 and over have serious issues about their weight, and every girl has had body issues at one point in their life. Yes, the girls who are thin also have issues with their looks, but it's only because anorexia is such an epidemic now, girls who're thin but not athletic-looking are considered anorexic many times.

But what I'm trying to talk about is that large girls, that have curves and love-handles and large droopy breasts and stretched skin and thunder thighs. These girls are beautiful, but media's booming, infecting voice cries, "these girls are not what you are looking for. They think of nothing but food, they are only focused on themselves. look at them, they're disgusting! Models don't look like that, and you want a model, don't you?" These girls and these women are prejudiced for no reason, and feel like they don't deserve happiness. They believe that to be happy, to be truly beautiful, they need thin bodies and perky breasts. I'm not talking about being unhealthily big, but girls that are basically fine, health-wise, even though they are plus-sized. Admittedly, I feel like I'm not very fit, but that doesn't really have much to do with my weight.

I *am* writing this because I'm plus-sized and I have low self-esteem about myself and my body, and refuse to show it off in public (Short-shorts are a no-no). I have stretched skin because I grew very, very fast in a short amount of time. I am tall, and probably 10 pounds overweight, but I've been told that because I'm still a teenager it's more okay. I try working out, but things get in my way (like Curves closing down and moving, damn them) or I make excuses. I'm ashamed of my excess fat on my back and how I'm curvy and a little lumpy. I longed for the thin beauty of my peers, to be accepted more readily by them because I was now "one of them". It isn't that I hated myself, or wished to be yet another sheep in the herd of normalcy, give in to peer pressure or be popular. I accepted most of myself already. But I couldn't accept that my body was created differently, my metabolism was different, everything was different and I could never get that kind of body. I could become fit, lose weight, and all of that. But the way I was built, I'd never be "thin" without looking underfed.


I'm going to do training with a friend as soon as I can, when she isn't busy. I've tried inviting her over but it hasn't been successful. She has a sort of workout routine that really works for her and helps you lose weight and get fit in a few weeks, which'll be great for an impatient person such as myself, but I fear if I can handle it. I also fear if I'll stray from the routine once I learn it. I'll make sure I won't, but I have anxieties.

Hopefully everything will work out.


But anyway, woman of the world, if there is nothing wrong with your health, don't change your body for others! I'm doing this for health reasons, and also I'm a bit of a hypocrite. But I want to look good for myself. I want to improve because I feel like I can. And if I don't, I'll know that I tried, and I did it in a healthy way without changing my diet (though I'm swearing to eat less junk food!) and forcing myself to do something that could damage me long-term.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26562121/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26562121/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 04:56:30 PDT
I LOST THOSE PICTURES. I LOST ALL THAT HARD WORK.

It will be a little while before I can bear to look at Photoshop.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26502298/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26502298/ Mon, 10 Aug 2009 10:14:36 PDT Firefly, which brings me to today's list:


Shows I Need To See (Although Am Probably Not Able) Because of Their Acclaimed Level of Badassery and Win:

1. Firefly
2. Doctor Who
3. Supernatural
4. True Blood*
5. The Office


More later...


...maybe...


AND FUCK I HAVETA GO TO WORK IN TWO HOURS. Then I work again tomorrow. Hoo-fuckin-rah. As much as I like my work, i worked my ass off there the other day for a full work day, which they didn't prepare me for cause I have weird-ass hours and only two shifts a bloody week. Now that I have a social life (it took me two months?!) they're piling stuff up suddenly. Again, I'm not complaining, in essence, mainly because the experience will be helpful and the earnings pleasant.

Hopefully.

Considering I'm on minimum wage and I've worked maybe a total of 32 hours? Yeah, it's sucking.

OPTIMISM AND HAPPINESS. OPTIMISM AND HAPPINESS.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26437687/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26437687/ Fri, 07 Aug 2009 05:10:01 PDT
]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26352376/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26352376/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 05:53:22 PDT
Title is from Pushing Daisies, one of the greatest shows ever made and they had to go and fucking cancel it. 90210 is still on. Why is the world so cruel?



Well, as it's my province's birthday today (225 years, woot!) I'm going to celebrate the way my family has always celebrated this day: I'm not celebrating. (-____-);;;

But, I'm not working, either, which is fun, but also annoying, because I want cash, and I have had only three shifts of not even four hours in the past two weeks. But I'm not feeling very well in my head, and lower down, so I'm cool with it.

Time for more lists!


People I have to hang out with before school ends:

1. Samwise: this week: Chapters/Starbucks: he finally came home from Alberta and he came back the day I had family over, the basterd.

2. Dani: this week: sleepover: belated birthday party (my first).

3. Rebecca: TBA: sleepover/hang out: birthday party invitee, but probably unable to attend at the same time.

4. Mom: the 14th: House-sitting for my aunt/sleepover at my aunt's: she promised her and I would be able to go out on an overnight trip. I'm okay with the fact it isn't a hotel.

5. Andy: TBA: hang out @ Starbucks/Chapters (movie??): um... date?
(=>^<


Books I am currently reading:

1. Desperation by Stephen King

2. A Fourth Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul

3. Untamed Tongues: Wild Words from Wild Women by Autumn Stephens

4. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien

5. the Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Emmuska Orczy

6. Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice

7. The Romance Reader's Book Club by Julie L. Cannon

8. Seeking Asylum by Mallory Kane



PS What is up with True Blood?! I want to watch it, but I don't have HBO. SHUT UP, PEOPLE WITH HBO! I miss out on a load of cool shows, like Burn Notice, because I don't have that many cable channels. Like HBO.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26275859/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26275859/ Thu, 30 Jul 2009 12:19:02 PDT
Let's start with some lists.

First off, a list of things that are wonderfully impossible, and after you read them you'll hate life all the more because it IS an impossibility for these things to occur.

1. When a mostiquo, fly, or any other irritating insect or arachnid bit, stung or injured you in any way; instead of itching, stinging pain, or serious illness or suffering, instead your skin would become lush and healthy, and you wouldn't have cellulite or brown spots or anything unwanted on your skin. And your blood would be clean/ blood pressure be normal.

2. Whenever you ate decadent desserts (mainly of the chocolate variety) or anything that would normally ravage your waistline, you would instead become fit, flexible and healthy. Even lose any unwanted pounds, if required (to a healthy extent).

3. That shirt, or skirt, or dress, or whatever that looks beautiful on the rack looks beautiful on you, and always fits, and always is the perfect price.

4. Computers always function properly, and there are no dangers on the internet.

5. You can manage a job, intensive classes, Drama club and SAFE club all at once without any issues related to health or safety, and without compromising how good a job you do.

6. Being able to buy things you really want and only half need, and buying things you really need and really want at amazing prices (this does not go for shopaholics, because then everything in every store would be gone).

7. All the ignorance and pride and bigotry and racism and discrimination and hate and murder are gone from the world.
Or at least diminished to a very manageable number.


Actually, right now, I think that's enough. :/
I'm a little tired, and I gotta finish some stuff up.

I should make a list now though:

1. Finish cleaning room and put away clean clothing
2. Get Children's Sponsor stuff to finish draft with
3. Finish/work on self-portrait
4. Call Dan
5. Work on Asylum RP

That's good for now...

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26249308/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26249308/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 07:28:48 PDT
It'll be sort of like a blog, I suppose. I'll post links to things, comment on politics (maybe) and general shit, and life, and my life, and make it interesting to read, moreso than just a "this is what happened to me today".

I'm also going to ask anyone who might be reading this (though that's a near impossibility, isn't it?) about certain things, like what their opinion is on a ceratin subject, or something of that sort.

I also love lists, so that'll also be something included in my journal, which will probably be updated weekly, seeing as I have no clear sense of time and I procrastinate. And I'm getting really busy -- finally.
I'll write about what I love, what I hate, what annoys me, what I wish, my goals, books, movies, even some secrets that even though I feel awkward telling my closest friend, I'll easily type up for people all over the world to view and criticize. Life's funny, innit?

I'm going to also write some things I need to get done, like an agenda. you can ignore those posts if you want to, unless you are actually interested, because those posts will most likely be mainly, if not only, for me to keep.

I'll post some drafts of short stories or letters or something so I can get an idea of how it looks, and I might ask for help in perfecting them.


I like long posts, because it always gives you loads to read and you can skip anything you might not want to read without skipping the entire post, so I'll try to make them as long as I can (without making it boring).

But I'll make some of it educational too, I think. Fun and weird facts (THE MALE PLATYPUS CAN KILL YOU BY STINGING YOU WITH A CLAW ON ONE OF ITS FEET) and grammar lessons (many things =/= alot. Many things = a lot. A <-------> LOT) because I think those are fun, don't you.



P.S. Depression Session : There was a bagpipe festival in Victoria Park yesterday and I wasn't allowed to go!

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26238950/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/26238950/ Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:37:55 PDT

ANGERRRRRR.

I hate the world right now.

HATEEE.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/24206125/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/24206125/ Sun, 12 Apr 2009 17:21:23 PDT I'm not the same.
All my ethics have been in question for the past month and a half.
By what?
A graphic novel, of all things.


You know, many people would... have... told me that I'm obsessive, crazy even, to have the slightest consideration that a piece of graphic literature could have any kind of effect, psychologically or emotionally, on my being. And one about costumed vigilantes, no less. But that's what Watchmen did for me.

The book, written by Alan Moore and drawn by Dave Gibbons, is a mind-blowing, in its complexity, darkness and depth as far as plot, and thick psychological profiles for every character. It's extraordinarily dense and layered with information. It deals with things most other comic books won't even touch. It isn't afraid to add super-realistic (and not to mention horrifying) scenes, including rape, child murder and abuse, etc., with no boundaries set on language: the words "whore", "goddamn", and "shit" (among others) being used mercilessly. It's not suitable for children, which is fine by me. I rather like having one graphic novel that I wouldn't be allowed to show to youngsters. I know I'm not old at all, but I'm mature enough to understand the book, and that's something I know that a lot of my peers fail at (this is said with years of experience, not pride). It deserved the title of "Best Graphic Novel of All Time" (though "all time" is a tad extreme, I'm not in any state of mind to criticize it).

As the reader should know by now, whether by the graphic novel, the movie, me, or even reading reviews, this book challnges the audience's perception of right and wrong. Each main character has a different view on the world, different moral standpoints, different ethics. Even though they all once fought together, and they all want good for the world, it's changed for them, especially after the Keene Act.

Rorschach, my favourite character (I might elaborate later as to why), sees things as black and white. "There is good, and there is evil, and evil must be punished." He blatantly has a death wish by refusing to retire and continues hunting down criminals, showing no mercy. His severe right-wing political views along with his crumbling mental state make him very dangerous. His past: a prostitute mother who neglected and abused him, a father he never knew, bullies, the Charlton Home, and finally the murder of six-year-old Blaire Roche sent his mind over the edge. What once was Walter Kovacs was now Rorschach.

There is so much I want to say right now that I don't know how to write down. I suppose this whole thing is pointless. But what do I care?

I think of Watchmen everywhere I go now, though, which is beginning to terrify me. I think of how this character and that character would assess this-and-that situation. I browse deviantArt for Watchmen fan art. I see it as more than just a comic book. Just because the the storyline revolves around costumed heroes (can't call 'em "superheroes" 'cause Manhattan is the only one with actual superpowers) doesn't mean that the content cannot be seen as something philosophical. And hey, it even has quotes from people like Friedrich Nietzsche!

So, maybe this obsession isn't all that bad. I wish it would die down a little, and I'm sure it will at some point. But I wish people would view it the same way, or at least in a similar way that I do.

I see that I seem to have lost my train of thought, and my point to this whole spiel, which, I am often told, is a very bad habit and something I should seriously consider fixing in the very near future.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/22666363/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/22666363/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 05:02:47 PST
You know why?

Friday and today were considered "snow days" because, well, it was freezing on Friday, so that's understandable, but that today, because last night was stormy, they closed it. The weather isn't terrible, and even though the roads aren't great, they're probably manageable.

We'll never get our exams done!

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/20988016/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/20988016/ Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:21:40 PDT I was just browsing around. It was long and detailed and absolutely fantastic. I can't find it anymore.
I really need to find it, so that I can mold my characters out. It's really very frustrating when you have no stable sheet to make out your characters.
I'm going to go now. I know it's a very short post, but I'm tired, and I need to do my homework. And I need to look for that sheet, though it wouldn't be tonight...

PS. My "mood" button is glitchy, too!

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/20581587/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/20581587/ Sat, 20 Sep 2008 08:43:15 PDT Of course, the first thing I want to say is the way fashion and trend is entering our lifestyles. I seem to notice more about my neighboorhood as I'm riding home on the bus after school, which is kind of strange but normal on my part. Like, for example, Wednesday. at a four-way, there were two groups across from each other (one on the sidewalk and one on a block of "sidewalk" [it's made of the same stuff so I call it the same] seperated by road). The group on the sidewalk was a group of three very good-looking Indian guys all with pink dress shirts on. The group across from them was a older teenage boy with his arm around the waist of his blonde girlfriend. I don't remember what they wore.
The next day as I was sitting in the bus waiting for it to leave, one of the Asian boys in our school (they are one cluster, those kids; they're basically just friends with each other, but they're all pretty cool)was wearing a red shirt with bold yellow letters saying "SUN YOUR BUNS".
There are other examples of this week, but I was silly and did not write them down, and forgot them.
Also, as I was looking at the tag that went with my new, first pair of Converse All-Star, the first sentence said "An American original". But at the bottom of the tag, it says "tag printed in Vietnam". Irony? I'll let you decide.
School just started and I'm already losing sleep (though my dog, lying beside me, seems to have an excess; do you think she's stealing it all? She sleeps enough for all of my family members). Two projects already. I'm losing my mind!
I can't find time for myself, but in a way, I'm forcing to make time for myself, and I procrastinate, which is something I must fix soon.
Well, if I find anything else to talk about, I'll update. Ciao for now.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/18743494/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/18743494/ Mon, 09 Jun 2008 07:16:20 PDT No more move – oh yeah, the dead-end zone
Man, you just can’t call your soul your own

...But the thing that makes you really jump
Is that the weirdest shit is still to come
You can ask yourself: “Hey, what have I done?”
You’re just a fly – the little guys, they kill for fun

__

Spring Awakening is awesome. I feel exactly like this.
The night before last I had a dream that my best friend (the one I love deeply) loved me back (which is scary). Last night I fought with him because he didn't want to talk about his stressful situation and he didn't want help, and then he snapped at me so I got angry.
I'm so untrusting of him, I guess, because I'm afraid that he will always hate me.

And then during my dreams last night I had a dream I had the happiest reunion with my Drama friends, and then we were in some warehouse or something meant to be a hospital and one of my best friends (who's health isn't tip-top) was in a room were we couldn't see him, but we heard him. His girlfriend, another of my best friends, was outside and saw us and started crying, and told us not to go in.

That's all I remember.

School's out, so I should be happy, right?
Wrong.
So wrong.
I'll never get the chance to see my friends faces during the summer cause everyone will be busy without me. And my friends are the most important thing to me. I love all of my friends deeply, and I don't know what my two dreams involving them meant.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/17544098/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/17544098/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:48:55 PDT What... is that the third crash this school year?
How many teens does that make? Twelve, I think...

Last night, a student from a nearby high school was driving when he hit a pothole, swerved, and crashed off the road. My friend told me this, getting the information from her ex-boyfriend. It was his friend.

A while ago, seven students from a basketball team of a different school and the wife of the coach all died in a similar crash.

At the beginning of the school year, four students from the same high school as the boy from last night were driving home from a party and collided with another vehicle. They were supposedly drunk (no proof, far as I know).

I'm at a loss for words.

There is so much happening this school year, and to top it off aquaintances and friends and friends of friends are dying throughout the year.

This really, really, really sucks.

The thing is that I didn't know the boy from last night (I don't think, anyway... I have a terrible memory.), but the gloom from my friend (and others) make me feel shitty.
AND there are midterms next week and the week after.
Hoorah.
Fucking joy.
I really am not a person who is depressed and that all the time (well, not anymore) but the stress of lots of things and people is just hanging in the air and getting to me.

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/17493549/ http://Demonic-Muffin.deviantart.com/journal/17493549/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:02:04 PDT But with B, I don't remember such a conversation. Of course, it must have happened; but I just do not recall.
Besides, B has a girlfriend now (of course. Just to make me feel ten times worse) so he is completely off-limits. I'm not a skank, okay? I have morals.
But what he said...
"Promise me that you won't kiss me while I'm with her."
God damn.
That hurt.
Saying that to anyone whether they like you that way or not is gonna hurt.
But I realized I don't stand a chance. It was a rough thing, but I'll survive. It really isn't the end of the world, but it sure does cause pain.
Ironically, the same day he told me (basically a "PS I have a girlfriend") I was going to ask him that maybe, when we were more sure of our feelings toward each other (rushing things is bad, people) if he would be my boyfriend.
I've never gone out with anyone before, okay? That's the best I could come up with.
I hate jealousy. Envy is my deadly sin, I'm sure of it. I hate it, I'm conscious of it, I've tried to change it so much, but it keeps on comin'. Eventually I get over things... but I envy many things, material and non-material. I really hate myself for that. I'm a complete hypocrite (but isn't being one fun? /sarcasm).

I look into his interesting eyes, though, and my heart flutters.
Not as much as I would like, but there is fluttering.
Oh well. Writing this right now makes me feel better, perhaps that I'm getting over him.

See, usually, I'm a very philosophical person. But right now, I choose to just be a regular confused-about-feelings girl. Honestly, I feel like my writings and especially my lyrics are full of shit, or at least something, after reading them again.

All I want to do is dance, but I can't, because I don't have dancing shoes and I don't have a partner.

EDIT: I just had a conversation with mister B and everything is sorted out. Turns out I'm a much better friend than girlfriend (which is fine by me, don't get me wrong) and though I feel a bit hurt by the fact he'd rather another girl instead of me just like that I assume it's all forthe better, and if it went another way, something bad might've happened. So he doesn't have to regret anything anymore. :3

]]> ~Demonic-Muffin