http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:DestructiveDelirium&section=today deviantART RSS for by:DestructiveDelirium en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:00:18 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/29018685/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/29018685/ Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:01:51 PST
So, last update was back in August, shit that's a long time. So what's new in my life. Some significant things are new I guess, and others that are not so significant.

Biggest thing for me, I am currently in a relationship (that has now been going longer then a month, which is a sad new-record...)
But unlike my previous relationships, this one is actually GOOD. I actually like her as more then just a girlfriend, but as a friend as well Which is always a good thing. Anyways, yes, things are good with us, and I am very happy with her.

School is almost at an end for me. I've been wanting to leave for sometime now, but with the stupid bus strike and all, I've had to bring my sister to and back from school anyways. (And we live far..)
But anyways, I have one month left, and I am extremely looking forward to leaving. I have grown very weery of high school and feel it is more then past my time to be there. As for my plans afterwards? Just going to work for abit, figure things out hopefully.. (how many times do you hear people say that one?).. I'll eventually go to college, but not till I have a more clear idea what to get into. Why waste money on something you might not want later?

Work is the same as of right now, nothing to note about that except new Nazi-manager. But nothing really need be explaining.

Currently I am without a computer seeing as my old laptop obtained some massive virus and is not fucked beyond belief. Luckly I'm looking into getting a new one very soon. (Hopefully before Christmas.)

Speaking of Christmas, I finished my shopping today, in total I believe I spent over $200... and I bought alot of things at Dollarama too 0__0 which worries me...
Anywhoo.. This is the first year in which I am buying presents for EVERYONE in the family. (Though for the record, my mother did buy alot of things for me, and I gave her money...)

As for MY Christmas "wishlist" I am mostly hoping for some Lego sets, couple (or even just 1) new game, and MONEY...everyone's favourite present ^_^

Speaking of...well nothing relivent to that topic.. Earlier this week I had the joy of seeing two mighty fine shows in a 3 day period. The first show was the band IWRESTLEDABEARONCE. They were very enjoyable, and damn does their vocals have pipes. I also bought a sweet shirt... with Yoda on it... and above it says "abearonceiwrestled" I love cheap Star Wars rip-offs ^_^
The second show was Protest The Hero, whom I have not seen play till now. They are really great live to say the least. Got a kick ass shirt as well, of course, I always try and get a shirt at shows.

Anyways... I have said all I wanted to say...or most of it that I can remember. For now I'm going to depart and play some Mass Effect.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/26598589/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/26598589/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:14:37 PDT
So the last couple of months I have gotten quit abunch of games (all of which are over a year old, so nothing NEW and Current.) With all of them I got what I expected with most of them. Except two games.

The first game being Splinter Cell: Double Agent. I was a fan of the original 3 games, (though found them to be kinda hard and rather frustrating at points) and I always knew this game exsisted. I saw ever EB games seemed to have Many copies of it, and it was rather cheap everywhere I looked. And judging by trend, the cheaper and larger amount of a used game, the chances it sucks to some point. So one day a few weeks ago I felt like something new, and decided to pick it up. I thought "What the hell, $15, why not?" So I bought it, and started playing it. And right away it felt like a good old fashion Splinter Cell game. But once the game progressed I realised that this game had somethings the other ones didn't. First off, CHOICE. You had objectives that depending how you fulfill them, will effect later events and characters. Another feature I liked about it, was the story. It was alot deeper, and more complex I thought. And it was good. So untill I beat this game, and got majority of the achievements for it, I was rather addicted to this game. Which I rather like when I just get Really into a game. It doesn't happen alot for me. Now I'm not saying this is the BEST game, no far from it. But definatly a good game, that I think is under-rated by some people.

The other game is in a similar spot. I found it for $10 in a Walmart discount bin. This game was The Simpsons Game. Again.. I thought, "$10, I like Simpsons, and I want some new games, so why not.." And honestly I was not disapointed. Many people would automatically dismiss this game as a kid-game and therefore Crap. Not true. Yes, it is child friendly, and has mindless button mashing and rather easy to achieve goals. It's still fun none the less. I think the main thing that made this game enjoyable was the Writing. It was very humorous, the whole game was just making fun of other games otu there. Which I love spoofs. And then there were points where it just got so crazy, but in a good way, that I just loved it. Like The Simpson's meeting Matt Groeining (sp?) and him ending up some evil genius. I found that hilarious. As well with the one level where it completely rips off the old school Pokemon game's battle screens, that was hilarious..and clever. And the last level, was SO random, it was genious. Playing DDR against God himself, to the tune of Rock You Like a Hurricane. I've seen some pretty great end battles.. but that one takes the cake for most Epic End Battle in a game. Without a doubt. I think any fan of The Simpsons will enjoy this game.. it seems to have many elements of different games, and isn't pointed towards just one crowd. Definatly another game that is very Under-rated.



As for non-Video game related things. Not much worth reporting about in my life. EXCEPT for one thing. As of today, I am now legally able to drive on my own. (muwhahaha) So I'm feeling pretty good because of that. Had my first drive alone tonight, and it was great.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/26574509/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/26574509/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:30:05 PDT I'm tired of being surrounded by people who don't care about anything but themselves.
I'm tired of my life being dictated by family, friends, and society.
I'm tired of feeling alienated.
I'm tired of caring.
I'm tired of our corrupt government.
I'm tired of the media controlling our world.
I'm tired of people trying to be someone they aren't.
I'm tired of feeling sad.
I'm tired of feeling mad.
I'm tired of feeling happy.
I'm tired of emotions.
I'm tired of losing this never ending game called 'love'.
I'm tired of putting my life on hold for someone else.
I'm tired of being dissapointed.
I'm tired of always going back.
I'm tired of thinking differently.
I'm tired of being stuck in the past.
I'm tired of worrying about the future.
I'm tired of today.
I'm tired of failure.
I'm tired of other people's success's.
I'm tired of money.
I'm tired of poverty.
I'm tired of war.
I'm tired of religion.
I'm tired of people.
I'm tired of this world...

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/26395769/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/26395769/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 06:06:28 PDT
That's all life is, isn't it? A joke. Everything we preseve as meaningful, it's all meaningless, it's all a sick joke. People live their lives trying to please a "god", or they try to amount riches that they will never end up using, or they dedicate their lives to science and try to come up with "real" answers to all of lifes questions.
But in the end, what does any of this accomplish? In my opinion, nothing. In the end, there is no inner truth, there is only death. No one knows what lays beyond death. I for one, don't believe there is anything. People believe death to be a great voyage, or a transition from one life to another. I don't think life is nearly as complicated or deep as any of those. Death is the end. Nothign more, nothing less.
When I think about life, and our species. Or any species really. I can not see an over all point. We are born, live for about 70 years, reproduce, and then die. Then repeat in the next generation. Are we getting anywhere? Some might say we are. I say not.
In my opinion, the meaning of life, is to reproduce and continue on our pointless species. That's our natural instincts. So then, if that's the meaning of life, why do we feel the need to Force everyone of our species to memorize useless facts.
Where's the point in that?
To the universe, our species, our entire life line of the human race, is nothing more then a fraction of a dot. When our time comes, it will not be noticed by the universe.

Most likely, most people who read this (which isn't many) will disagree. I've grown used to feeling like I'm the only one who thinks the way I do. Maybe it's a curse, maybe it's a gift. Who knows. When it comes to relating to people, I often can relate to people who society deem as "evil" or "mentally unhealthy". Does that mean I will become like one of those people. Only time can can answer such a question.


"In my opinion, the exsistence of life is a highly over-rated phenominon" - Dr. Manhattan [Watchmen]

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/25466225/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/25466225/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 03:49:35 PDT I'll get aroudn to it sometime in the near future (seeing as it's summer now, I have more free time.)

So what's new in life? Not a hell of alot. School is finished, but I have to go back in Sept. seeing as I didn't graduate. (Not enough service hours, and I probably failed english) But I don't care all that much to be honest.

Current Video Game Addictions:
Left 4 Dead; Awsome zombie killing game, but it lacks a story line. But who cares,ZOMBIES!

Lego Batman; Lego games are always awsome, so of course mixing it with Batman would be a great idea. Hehe, I made a Pimp-Lepricon

Dead Space; Zombies-in-space. Good idea, works well in game formate as well. And since there is little health in the game, it actually makes the game abit more frightening because I am more likely to die. It's also lovelingly gory and easy to dismember enemies, and random corpses.

Current Music Addictions:
Baptized In Blood, All Shall Perish, Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, Killswitch Engage (new album)

Current Reading Addictions:
pfft.. I don't read. Though I did finally buy the graphic novel, Watchmen. And shit is it good.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/24858408/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/24858408/ Wed, 20 May 2009 14:57:48 PDT To many, this means nothing.
To me, this means much more then nothing.
It almost means something that can not be described with words.
Irrelevant.
Everything is irrelevent.
A meaningless exsistence born out of pure randomness.
No meaning, no reason, no purpose.
Love, Hate, Family, Friends, Enemies, Money, Education..
Everything.
I can't help but fail to see the point in, well, anything.
In the end, none of it matters.
In the end, nothing matters at all.
In the end, there is nothing and no one.
We live out our exsistence repeating a general guidline,
"Learn, Work, Marry, Reproduce, Die"
Every human has followed the general guidline, though not always perfectly the same, but the basic Live and then Die, is true.
But what is all the point?
Where are we heading to?
Some people say we are leading to "God" or "Heaven"
Others say we are heading towards enlightenment
Others say we are heading to the future, the highest point of our human potential.
I say we are heading to nothing.
Nothing that hasn't been seen already.
A constant loop, where nothing really changes.
Sure, technology and the faces behind them change
But in the greater picture, it's still the same life cycle. Same destiny. Same Fate.
We memorize facts about our history and things about how our world supposibly works. Though can anyone Truelly prove half of that crap true? They say they can, but I doubt them.
We work the majority of our lives to make money in order to live on to another day, to work on for the next day of work, and so on and so forth.
When and where did this idea come from?
Where did the idea of spending over 70% of our life time doing meaningless labour just so you can make the money to survive to the next day. Which you will end up making money for the next day. They eventually die, and leave the money they have made to their children or someone else close to them.
And what does said person usually do? Keeps it, holds it and does the same pointless thing the person before them did. And the pattern repeats over generations.
The cycle is meaningless and pointless.
But why do we do it?
Why do people do anything?
Questions keep being asked,
But answers are never given.

I could keep writing about the irrelevance of exsistence.
But really what will it prove?
Nothing really.
Maybe one person who reads it will take a few moments and think about it.
But not do much more then that.
Do I want people do to more then just that?
Not sure.
Don't care really.


"Cause in the end, everything we are, is just everything we have done."

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/24691104/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/24691104/ Sun, 10 May 2009 17:24:28 PDT What do you do when you no longer feel for things you once loved?
What do you do when you no longer care whether you live or die?
What do you do when you no longer care whether other's live or die?
Have you truely lost touch with reality?
Or have you really become what society would call "crazy" or "inhuman"
And what if you don't care?

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23877062/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23877062/ Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:27:55 PDT
]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23867719/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23867719/ Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:38:32 PDT


Last night was the Mindless Self Indulgence show. Fucking amazing. Most entertaining live band I have seen. Jimmy wouldn't stay on the damn stage constantly walking around the crowd and on random objects and whatnot. I was able to touch his sweaty elbow my friend touched his ass lucky.

I was kinda disappointed though, Lyn-Z wasnt there, instead some fat guy.
O and the fact that they didnt play Get It Up I love that song.
O and and the fact that the only tour shirt they had was only available in XXL for some reason :S so it's abit big on me

In the end, twas a good show. At the end of the show Jimmy kinda just collapsed on the floor, and I think he's probably still there now

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23635309/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23635309/ Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:44:14 PDT I thought it was a good movie.

I really liked the story line and thought it flowed fairly well. The character's were good. The acting was good, nothing amazing, but nothing bad there that I was able to notice. The main thing about the story I liked, was it was not a linear story. It was no straight forward, same old shit, that someone with half a brain could understand. I like movies that are complicated and require you to watch it multiple times in order to understand it. Makes me think. I also loved the action in the movie. It was definatly not for the faint of heart, seeing a guy's arms being saw'ed off with a chainsaw, and bones being snapped right out of the skin, ..and blue dicks. Lots of blue dicks. The action was very dark and gritty, which is never a bad thing in my books.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23513937/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23513937/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:09:09 PST Go shower, and hate myself more
Forget food, I don't need it anyways
Take the bus, stare out the window thinking of somewhere else
Get to school, sit on floor while friends are talking and having fun
I can't smile, there is no reason to smile
Go to period 1, hate myself more, doodle on page and ignore reality
Go to period 2, more doodling, or sleeping
Lunch, still no food, don't want it.
Sit on wall again while people laugh and have fun
Go to period 4, sleep during my spare
Go to period 5, sleep or doodle some more and still not pay attention to reality
Take bus home, again stare out window ignore reality
Get home, eat only meal in the day
Go to room, shut the door, and not open it till the morning
Sit in dark by Xbox and escape reality with games
Or sit in dark by computer and fall deeper into the Spiral
Go to sleep, truely escape reality for 5 hours.
Repeat...

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23497958/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23497958/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:29:14 PST Everytime I open my mouth, I hurt her. Or someone atleast. But usually her.
I don't mean to, but it happens. I don't know why it does, but it does.
I can say sorry,
but really in the end what will Sorry do?
It's just a word.
It has no real meaning behind it.

Maybe this is just a curse of being male.
Cause clearly everything we say has to be wrong compared to the female opinion.
No matter what kind of arguement or any disagreement.. We're always the ones saying sorry, regardless who is right or wrong.








"I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel.
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real.
The needle tares a hole,
the old fimiliar sting.
Try to kill it all away,
but I remember everything..

What have I become, my Sweetest friend?
Everyone I know, goes away in the end.
You could have it all,
My empire of dirt.
I will let you down.
I will make you hurt..

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair.
Full of broken thoughts
I can not repair.
Beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear.
You are someone else,
I am still right here"

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23444503/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23444503/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 04:04:06 PST
Anyways, so a month back or so, my art teacher submitted me and Sheep's David Hawkney photography project into the London Museum (not sure if it's just an art museum, or just a museum in general) Into this new exhibit for student artwork. Out of 250 (probably more) artworks submitted, I think it was 100 chosen, and ours was one of them
The opening of the exhibit will be this coming Friday night, but I have NO idea about any other information yet. I don't even know where the damn place is

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23282615/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23282615/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 03:23:12 PST
This is an honest question to anyone who cares to answer. I'm just curious to know what other people do when they feel like shit.

As for me, first thing, Press play on Depressing Playlist (yes I have a depressing playlist, and it is played ALOT) or I depending on my exact mood I might lsiten to a musician who I can relate alot to instead. (Generally NIN or Manson in those situations)
Then I generally look for someone to maybe talk to who I can open up abit too. Half the time there isn't someone like that around when I need them, so then I generally search up depressing images on DeviantArt...sounds abit odd, but I kinda enjoy it. Trying to find things that just really fit how I'm feeling or just really hit you emotionally or something. Haven't really found any that do that, but I'm always looking =\

As you can tell I'm still in a blah mood, and I have been for awhile lately. Just for your information this is kinda normal, just going through one of my "periods" (Depression periods) where I am very down for an unknown period of time, sometimes lasting a week, sometimes lasting a month or more. It is completely random with that aspect. but whatever. =\


"Hope that we die holding hands"

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23243790/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23243790/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 20:41:47 PST Besides, when I am close enough to someone, either my feelings get in the way and fuck Everything up, or I just turn to them when i'm depressed way to much and start bringing them down with me. Which I don't want to do. I dont want others to suffer for me faults. If it was possible I would take a vow right here, right now to never involve someone else too close to me again, and that means not to love ever again as well. But we all know thats bullshit and impossible to say I will never do.
The more people i go through, the more i feel that the world would be MUCH better off without me. I'm like a virus or a parasite tht sucks the happiness and life out of someone, then leaves them for dead once they can no longer 'feed' my emotions.
Interesting comparisson I think.. Something that just infects others and serves no good in the world except to keep it's sorry ass alive.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23167434/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/23167434/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:10:31 PST I feel nothing
I can physical feel things
But inside I feel nothing
No happy, no sad, no anger, no regret, no joy, no bitterness
Nothing.
I don't know what's wrong with me
Is there anything even wrong?
I don't know.
Maybe subconsiously I have just stopped caring about anyone or anything
Or maybe I am really not who I think I am.
Or maybe the true darkness of this world has finally claimed my heart
I could keep saying; "maybe this" and "maybe that"
But nothing will actually be an answer
Because I, nor anyone else, really knows

I want to feel something. Anything. To me there is no worse feeling then feeling nothing.
Nothing is worse. nothing..


(ps, there really should be a mood icon thingy for Nothing)

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22806270/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22806270/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 15:10:57 PST
Anyways, since if you know what it is, you play one video game each day, to celebrate gaming. This year, my gaming plans are as followed:

Jan.25 - Star Wars Battlefront 2
Jan.26 - Resident Evil 4
Jan.27 - Splinter Cell
Jan.28 - Black
Jan.29 - Star Wars Force Unleashed
Jan.30 - some sort of Lego game (haven't decided)

as well as any games I play at Sean's when I will be there at somepoint this week

Anyways, happy Winter-een-mas everyone, regardless if you are a gamer or not.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22683218/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22683218/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:19:16 PST
The Best: My art brick project. I will not spoil what it is for anyone who doesn't know it already. This is probably the first piece I have EVER made and am having troubles pointing out any problems. I have so far found ONE, just ONE problem, and it's a samll one that is only noticable from close up to it.
Hopefully I should have a copy of the picture very soon. And it will definatly be put up and be my new featured piece.

The Worest: My art final summative. I loved the idea, but this was just one wrong step to another and ended up in total ugliness and nothing of what I invisioned. I must say I am truely disapointed in the picture and I'm suprised it turned out as bad as it did. I know the people who have seen it have told me (and still will tell me that it isn't that bad) but this is in my opinion, and I think this is just CRAP. I could have painted it in grade 4. (But it would have been considered decent in grade 4, disturbing, but decent) The odds of me even posting a picture of it up are slim. I may still do it for kicks, but right now I will definatly not.

I still need to post up pictures of Last years summatives which have been sitting in my locker since September. I wasn't a huge fan of the one, but I liked how the "flaming epic battle between the potatoe heads against angels with ladders" turned out. The fire and dark backgrounds turned out very well, much better then I originally was intending for it to work out.
As I also have my usual pile of Unfinish art work of my own. Currently working on a cool picture of Matt Tuck from Bullet For My Valentine, it's about 75% done, but I just haven't gotten around to finishing it. Same with I still have this Beast and the Harlot themed picture I started drawing long ago and was planning on having it being my 100th post..so much for that

Anyways, might as well do a small life update (not like anyone has probably continued reading this far..skimming doesn't count )
Life is about the same as always. School sucks, my marks aren't very good. I'm not sure if I want to come back for grade 13 or not. I think I have finally slightly put my mind towards a post secondary choice, probably going to college for some sort of trade related course, not sure which trade though.
And I have managed to save up $300 now which is alot considering it's me, the guy who spends every cent he can on something.
But I'm saving for an Xbox 360, i can get it now if I wanted, but I'm gonna wait to save up more money so I can get GTA4 and Lord of the Rings Conquest with it (druels**)

Speaking of pissing my pants, I saw leaked footage of Star Wars Battlefront 3... and honestly I think I wet myself 0_0 it was SOoooooo amazing looking. Even for a cheap camera phone quality video. You can be fighting on the ground like normal, jump in a ship, fly around in the sky and air space above the battle and fight cruisers and fighters which are flying above the city/location of battle. And then you can take it up a notch and fly your ship higher..and actually go out into the atmosphere and continue fighting with fighters and cruisers up in space
All this with NO loading screens 0_0
My main worry is the fact that Free Radical is dropping the game for finacial reasons and another developer is picking it up..and there are possibilities of them either A) cutting out the awsome free-ness of the game and making it more cost effective..or B) dropping the project completely because it's already expesnvie as it is.
If they dropped this or dulled it down, I honestly can say I will be depressed for an extended period of time.

And lastly in my life.. I'm not jumping into conclusions...but I think my search for someone..may be over. Shes amazing. beautiful, great to talk to, and she for some reason likes me back :S
Downsides..she lives faaar away..good news..shes moving here very soon :]

And in other news..apperantly today is suppost to be the most "depressing" day of the year on average for the majority of people. They even came up with a mathamatical formula for how and why. I don't understand it, but it sounds funny as hell.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22335619/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22335619/ Thu, 01 Jan 2009 15:13:05 PST
But what is really the big deal with New Years?
The only thing that changes is the year number on the date, so why such a big deal that it is a New Year? Nothing drastically changes, nothing really happens except we get the day off of work.

I know most people go all crazy about it because it's the biggest party night of the year and most likely time to get drunk beyond belief. But besides that, WHY?

I think this is a question that will never be answered, and if it is, I will probably not see eye-to-eye with that answer

=\

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22223304/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22223304/ Sat, 27 Dec 2008 09:28:51 PST
If you don't know what Winter-een-mas is, well then you need to check this site out..[link]

basically, from Jan. 25th till Jan. 31st you celebrate the holiday by playing One of your favourite games each day. Everyday being a different game.

A brief history of the holiday:
it was created by the fictional character Ethan in the online comic Ctrl-Alt-Del. He came up with the holiday to cope with the lack of heat his house had at the time, and just probably because he was alos slowly losing his mind (more so then normal)
Since that bunch of comics a few years ago, it has spawned into real life by fans of the comic celebrating the holiday.

So this jan 25-31, I encourage you, if you are a gamer, choose your favourite 7 games, and one on each day. And celebrate videogames and gamers everywhere

As for me...hmm, what 7 games do I want to play?
as of Right now, I htink I will go with:

-Star Wars Battlefront2 (it's a classic for me)
-Perfect Dark (N64, old classic for me)
-Lego,...something. (haven't decided between Star Wars, Indy, or Batman)
-Star Wars Force Unleashed
-Grand Theft Auto..something (not sure which one yet)
-???
-???

those last two will depend if I have any new games by then or not. We'll see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyways, update with mylife? Sure why not...

Christmas just passed, it was alright, I wasn't feeling the greatest on christmas day, but boxing day was better(we had christmas with my dad's family) Tomorrow we are going up to Toronto to have christmas with my mom's family.

And it is ..11 days till my birthday, big one this year, 18.

anyways, that is all for now, peace

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22182659/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22182659/ Thu, 25 Dec 2008 06:20:26 PST
So the point of this is stating that because of Twilight, vampires are now no longer cool to me. I honestly can't think about a vampire or look at one without seeing something Twilight related.

So we need a new cool supernatural force. Since Twilight butchered the vampire, and also features werewolves. Those two are not possible.

I think I should go to Sean's Zombie side. Atleast they don't fucking sparkle in the light!

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22149808/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/22149808/ Tue, 23 Dec 2008 19:38:36 PST
Why do people strive to reach a point of eternal happiness by means of eliminating all negative emotions/feelings/forces??
Why do people have just a negative outlook on the negative side of life??
Why do people feel the need to "help" (beyond their will most times) people Out of their "dark" place in life??
And if they don't get out of the "darkside", why do people shun them, call them mentally ill or insane, and then either give them thousands of little white pills, or ship them off to the mental hospital??

What if people who are part of the "darkside" don't want to turn to the light, because they have realised the beauty in the dark?

Well I'm a good example of that last statement.
I've had many people try to "help" me, family, friends. And for awhile I let them, because I wanted to be "cured" of this "disease" I had. But the more time passed by, the more I learned about myself, the more I learned to deal with my problems, and the more I learned to see the bright side to the downside.

Everyone has their own faults, NO person has no faults. Life is like the Ying-yang, light and dark co-exsist, there can not be one without the other. If there wasn't one, then everything would be grey.

For me personally I have learned to except myself as a person, and except my "problems" and "faults" But I don't really see them as "faults", I don't see them in a negative or positive way, they are just part of me. Take away them and I am not completely myself.
I even learned that some of these "negative" emotions can be used for good. Such as art or music. They can be channelled into artistic motivation. (why do you think half of all musicians and artists are depressed?) Emotional disorders like depression unlock a large artistic portion of my brain that allow me to do so much more.

But if I can except these things...why can't other people?
Why can't people just except me for ME. I know VERY few people who can except me for me. Even people that I thought meant more to me then the world, clearly can't even except me for me. If I bring you down at times and you leave me because you are looking out for your own back, I am ok with that. There is no one on this planet you should care more about then yourself (it's not self-centered, it's called survival) But don't try to change me to something I'm not. I will never be that happy side of me all the times. If you want to be with me, as a friend or more, then you have to except that I am a two sided person, you get both people, the good and the bad. If you can't handle the bad, why do you deserve my better half?

This is me, for better or for worse
You think I'm unhappy being a pessimistic, depressed, individual half full of hate?
Well to be honest I have never felt better...

...Cause I feel alive, and I feel like my own self.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21890375/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21890375/ Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:50:29 PST




Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step that you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,
And I still have these memories,
But will never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, Cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.

I wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough.

So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember these things i've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess i've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause i'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?




A Year From Now by Across Five Aprils





What this means to me... just reminds me of how much I have fucked up. Between me and a certain someone who will remain nameless. To put things short, I fucked up. I fucked up big time, and let her slip away from me, and things will never be the same. I've tried and am still trying to put things back to normal, but it might just be a waste of both of our time.
I miss the times we had, I miss everything we were. And I can't help but think of everything we Could have been.
I miss you.
No matter what words I can say, no matter what words you say. Nothing will be the same. Time can not rewind, and time never forgets.
I am not a victim in this situation. If anything I'm the one to blame. No I'm not being hard on myself, I'm saying the truth. I was the one who screwed things over, I was the one who has created all the problems between us. I'm to blame.
I just wish for you to be happy. And happy is not with me. Happy is not anywhere near here. I'm not sure where happy is for you, but it's not here.


"We'll never make another memory..."

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21822496/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21822496/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:08:14 PST Don't think I'm not hurt, I'm extremely hurt by everything you do. I loved you, guess that means shit all these days.

You were the only one I could talk to about anything
You were the only one I could somewhatly relate to on average
You were the only one who gave a shit about me
You were the most important person in my world
You were everything to me
You were the light to my dark days
You were always there for me
There is a key word in all of those though "WERE"

Honestly, I can't really say when I have felt this fucking alone before. You were the only one i talked to on an emotional level all the time, and not to meantion that you were always there for me.
Now what do i have? I've lost my band, my best friend, there isn't much left that means alot to me to take away. So why can't life just take my life away then? Cause frankly right now, I wouldn't be very displeased if that happened.

I'm in a depressed-rage right now, I have no care inside for anything or anyone right now.
Maybe the problem is me, maybe I get attached to people too easly.
Maybe the solution is to just stop befriending people. Don't get me wrong, friends are nice, but bestfriends..I don't seem to get anything be fucking troubles from them, so why should I let people in that close to me if they are just going to hurt me in the end?

"My heart is just too dark to care."

***please, anyone else reading this, it is nice to see comments, but I don't want comments just saying how "it will all be better" or stupid sympathy posts. because I don't need them.***



"I only wish you weren't my friend, so I could hurt you in the end"

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21806419/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21806419/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:52:18 PST
Scarlet Fate (my band) is no more.

I'm not going to be like most people and making this all artsy, and poem-like. cause I just don't give two fucks right now. I'm just talking in text form.
This band meant alot to me, but we weren't suppost to last.
It wasn't easy leaving the band room for the last time tonight. I cried. No one noticed me sheading tears as I left and bid my farewell. Basically, everyone has different goals in life and this is when we are all moving our seperate ways. Most of which involve moving out to a different city. I fully support all of their life choices. i can't expect them to stay for an ammature band with probably little shots of every going anywhere.
I loved that band, and the breakup will be just as bad as any relationship breakup (to me)

That's all I can say, no one online to talk to about this anyways.


"watching my world fall apart in slow motion."

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21771926/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21771926/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:00:01 PST
Everyday we learn new things, lately I have been learning new things about myself, that I didn't neccisarly "not know about" but I wasn't very aware of them. I have thought long and hard about my future, and as of right now, I have a much different "plan" then I ever thought I would have had a year ago. First of all, I do not plan on going to university or college, or any post secondary education. Though we are pressured heavily by society to proceed to a post secondary education, I don't feel the desire to. My goals in life are simple, I just want to live as comfertably and as easily in life. Comfertably is different in everyone's own mind. in my mind, I do not want alot of money (though it wouldn't be a BAD thing) I don't want a large house, hell I'm not even too keen on the idea of having a family. I do not desire these things. I am content with having enough money to pay the bills/rent, feed me, and some speding money. I am content with living in an apartment, or small place. I am content with only having a girlfriend/partner, and possibly never really having kids. (but that option could easly change as life goes on) After highschool is done, I plan on just working, and eventually moving into an apartment or share a place with some friends if I can find anyone willing to rent someplace with me.

Last night I also had a discussion on medical "problems" that people have. And lead onto my Depression problem. And just reminded me of what Edvard Munch said "I would never trade my troubles away, for they fuel my art" (not the same words, but same idea) And I have never agreed more with that. I would never forcfully get ride of my depression, it makes me who I am. If I didnt have it I would feel like a stranger to myself. Everyone has their own problems, and this is mine, but I don't see it as a "problem" I see it just as apart of my personality, nothing more.

And frankly if people can't see that, well too bad for them. If they don't want to be with me because I am "too emotional" or "too sad" well I guess they weren't worth my time anyways.

There are many more things i could tell here, but I'll save that for another time.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21745709/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21745709/ Sun, 30 Nov 2008 09:55:36 PST [ ] You watch anime.
[ ] You read manga.
[ ] You buy/collect anime DVDs or manga volumes.
[ ] You own some other form of anime/manga merchandise.
[ ] You have referred to an anime character as 'hot' before.
[ ] You have cosplayed.
[ ] You have done so in public.
[ ] You have been to an anime/manga convention.
[ ] You have created/joined a fanclub for an anime/manga character.
[ ] You have created/joined a hateclub for an anime/manga character.
[ ] You have squealed when you found out somebody had the same name as an anime character you knew.
[ ] You enjoy drawing anime
[ ] People you know you as the 'anime person'.
[ ] You know that it is pronouced 'mawnguh' and not 'manga' like it is spelled.
ANIME/MANGA POINTS: 00000 (I really don't like Anime )

ART NERD
[x no dur] You like art.
[x] You actually consider yourself an artist.
[xsometimes] When using art supplies, the brand of them matters to you.
[ ] You have a favourite brand.
[x] You have asked for art supplies as a Christmas/birthday gift before.
[x] You give people your drawings as gifts.
[x i only give them if they suck] People actually ask for your drawings.
[xin my group of friend] You are known as 'the art person' at your school.
[ ] Instead of just 'brown' or 'ink', you'd be specific; it's 'sienna brown' or 'blush pink'. Or whatever.
[ ] You have taken an art class outside of school.
[x] You have considered a career as an artist.
[XXX] Your school papers are always covered in doodles.
[x Dali ] You have a favorite artist.
[x] Your drawings have been framed.
[xalmost everywhere] You carry a sketchbook with you everywhere you go.
ART NERD POINTS: 12

MUSICAL NERD (should specify WHAT kind of music)
[x] You play a musical instrument.
[x] You play more than one instrument.
[x] You actually really enjoy playing your instrument.
[ no, but i have given it a gender] You've given your instrument a name.
[x band] You've participated in an extracurricular activity for your instrument.
[ ] You are known by what you play.
[ ] You listen to classical music.
[x ] You are wondering whether that refers to the classical music genre or the classical music time period.
[ ] You have a favourite composer.
[ ] All of your friends are from your band/orchestra class.
[x] You write music.
[ ] You've had discussions with your friends about music; your favourite composers/instruments/musical time periods/key/etc...
[x] You have considered a professional career with your instrument.
[x] You are never nervous playing for other people.
MUSICAL NERD POINTS: 5

VIDEO GAME NERD
[x] You play video games.
[ 3] You own more than 4 different video game systems.
[X] You've had debates over which system is the greatest.
[xjust about] You play video games every day.
[x] You have played a video game for over 10 hours.
[XX Perfect Dark ] You have songs from your favourite video games on your MP3.
[x] You love to talk about video games.
[xif its a good one] You memorize the dates for when a new game is being released.
[ ] People know you as the 'gamer' person.
[ ] You spend more time on video games than you do hanging out with friends.
[x] Your gaming system is in your room.
[ ] You have preferences when it comes to what company your game came from.
[ ] You've had debates over which company is the best.
[x] You keep playing a game until you beat it.
[ ] It makes you angry when you found out somebody looked up cheat codes on the internet to beat their game.
VIDEO GAME NERD POINTS: 9

COMPUTER NERD
[x it rarely turns off] You use the computer every day.
[x] You have an account/username on some sort of social website.
[ ] You go into random internet chatrooms.
[x] You spend at least 2 hours a day on the computer.
[x] You use computer faces; : D XD XP D: ^_^ >.> and etc.
[XX] It is hard to go a day without using the computer.
[x] You spend time in online forums.
[x] In the forum/chatroom you use, you are known... ]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21688475/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21688475/ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:43:50 PST


Senior year. Grade 12. The "end" of Teen-life essentially.
The end approaches more quicker each day. But I can't help but dread when it all comes to an end.
Sure alot of people will think, "so what, highschool is over?", or "your life isn't over" that last one is true, but that's not the point I'm aiming for.
The end of highschool signifies a closing of a major chapter in my (and anyone else's) life, it signifies an end of inocense and careless days of your childhood. People have to make serious decisions and "grow-up" very fast in a short period of time. Which for people like me, I am extremely NOT ready to move out, or pay bills and shit. Hell I just got my first part time job this summer. I know my future will no lye towards college or university, cause well lets face it, my marks suck dick. Plus I have no idea what I would do in there, I would just be wasting my time and money. It's best to only go to post-secondary education if you are sure this is something you want to spend thousans of dollars on.
So that leaves me with my parent's only other option, get a full time job and move out. umm, ok? Apperantly I can't just do my original plan by staying another year of highschool to be able to think life over for another year, and actually stay with my friends (who are majorly all a year younger then me)

Which this brings up one of the main issues that most people go through at the end. Friends. Friends mean the world to most people, and for me it's not much different. I don't have alot of friends, that's a fact, and one that I am completely fine with. But I have gone through all of highschool up till grade 12 to Find the right group of people, the ones I belong with, the ones I connect with and feel at home with. And this whole friendship with most of them will end in an instent because I'm leaving. Everyone is going there sep, I would go too. Honestly. Which this drags out another concern on my ever growing list of concerns. Will I leave this shitty city. If I stay, I won't have to leave my band (which means an Extreme amount to me) and my best friend will move back to London. But my other best friend probably wouldn't stay, so either way, I'm leaving something behind. So I basically have to choose the lesser of two evils.erate ways. A common thing that happens with highschool friends, they go their seperate ways. That is a very common thing, but that being said doesn't make this any less of a downer to me. It's like cutting out your tongue and saying "don't worry you won't notice a difference" (weird analogy, I know, but it works)
I guess most of my friends I would get over leaving pretty quickly, but there are 3 friends who I could never replace. I won't meantion names, but they should know who they are. They are my closest friends for different reasons. And I wouldn't stand being seperated from them all, even though I have survived for along time being seperated from one of them already. But one in peticular, if they moved to Japan, I would follow. And, I know I am facing the possibility of leaving her, possibly forever. Honestly I don't want her out of my life, she means too much to me to be just cut out like that. But not leaving her, means leaving everything else. Though I hate London, it does still hold my couple other remaining friends And my band. Things I can't put in a bag and bring with me.

I'm beginning to lose my train of thought, so I should start rapping this up.
Basically what this has all shown me is how fast my life has moved. It seems like yesterday we were just kids in elementary school. And now I'm 18. Where does the time go? Why do we always realise things when they are too late to turn back the clock? Why does it seem that the only thing that will last forever, is your regrette, and memories of old times (that just make you sad to think about)?
I don't know the answer to any of these, nor does anyone else.
I just don't know, about school, life, myself, anything really.
It took me till the end of highschool to realise to have some fun and who I really was. It's like I'm just starting to enjoy my teen years, and it's already coming to an end.


"The more I think, the more I wish I could press stop and then hit rewind."

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21069703/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21069703/ Sun, 19 Oct 2008 19:21:44 PDT
I don't know, you would think cutting out a large portion of your unhappiness would make you feel better. But I still feel like shit. Maybe I'm just going through one of my depressing periods, or maybe before I was just delusional. I don't know. Did I even make the right choice? I don't know. I can't stop thinking of what I left behind, everything we went through, thrown away like nothing.
Who knows, maybe I truelly am suppost to be this way. Maybe I'm meant to be unhappy and uncontent with life. I do believe we are all meant for different things, and I believe that there are people who are "meant" to be nothing.Or maybe I just fooled myself into thinking I have found "where I belong" Or quite possibly, finding "where I belong" was never what I wanted in the first place. I dont know, no one does. All I can do is make whild accusations and just let each day pass by the next.

"Happiness and Peace of mind, were never meant for me."

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21053712/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/21053712/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:37:40 PDT
So I bought the latest addition to the Star Wars videogame franchise: Star Wars: Force Unleashed. I bought the crappier PS2 version if it, because I don't own a 360 or a PS3. So I won't get the Full amazing details and realistic AI features of the game.
But over all, I still really love the game. The action is awsome, and feels very fresh compared to alot of games lately. It's probably the first game that really Does give you a good feel for what a Jedi REALLY can do while using the force as an ally. (NERD!)
My favourite features are the force moves. And how easy they are to us. Unlike all the previous Star Wars games where you can use the force, they were always difficult to us and never realy worked well. But this game is just very clean about it, very natural feeling. I love picking up enemys and bashing them against walls or chucking them off a cliff. Or just holding them in the air and then throwing my lightsbaer and impaling them in the air.
Also electrocuting them is always fun too
The other thing I really liked about this game so far, is the story.

SPOILER ALERT (NERD ALERT..more so)

The game starts off with you playing as Vader, and your on Kashyyyk during the Imperial invasion of Kashyyyk. You are in search of a rumoured Jedi outcast who is hiding with the Wookies from the Empire. So you go in, case chaos, kill many wookies, and many of your own team (as I did atleast, I'm more of a solo player anyways)
Then you find the jedi, fight him, kill him, then a cutscene comes on. The jedi had a son apperantly who ends up coming up to you as you kill his father. At the same moment, a bunch of Troops come up and attempt to kill the child because he is a jedi as well..and their orders are to kill ALL jedi.. So Vader then kills all the troops and saves the kid, and takes him with him.

20 or so yeas later, the child is a grown up, and a secert apprentice of Darth Vader. The Emperor has no knowlege (that we know of) of this apprentice. Vader uses this apprentise to seek out remaining Jedi and kill them. (and ultimatley wants to us him to fight along side him and betray the Emperor) Untill after killing Shaak tii (yes you fight and kill her in this game) apperantly you are followed by the Emporer's spies and they learn of your existance with Vader. The Emperor makes a suprise visite, enraged with Vader for keeping having a secret apprentise, so he orders vader to kill the apprentise (who never has a name, btw) Vader ends up impaling him threw the chest and launching him into space. But somehow right afterwards the apprentise was secretly recovered by some droids and Vader had him "rebuilt" and made well. (how he survived space, I dont know) So then on, the empire thinks you are dead, except Vader, who is now under watch by the Emperor, so you are told to create a large distraction for the Emperor. Which inturn you end up starting the formation of the Rebel ALlience. (Insteresting twist.) Currently that is as far as I have made it.

So for the rest of the story, eithe rbuy the game...or look it up online. But I definatly recommend you buy this game. It is orgasmic.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20950052/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20950052/ Sun, 12 Oct 2008 08:58:29 PDT
INSTEAD my Thanksgiving will consist of Headbanging, Moshing, and Heavy fucking Metal. I'm not complaining.

Tonight is the show I have been looking forward to ever sicne it was announced. All That Remains, Trivium, The Human Abstract, and 36 Crazy Fists. It's going to kick Much ass.



]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20676837/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20676837/ Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:22:45 PDT
For the first time I can remember, I feel good. I honestly feel good about life, myself, everything. It is a weird feeling after being trapped in a dark cloud for years. After having a chat with any people about my past situation and what I should do, it became clear, i had to leave. So I did. And though I have looked back, I don't regrette it. I'm better off without them, and they are better off without me. It's for the best intrest of everyone. I am now with people I automatically felt welcome with, belonging with. Guys and girls who aren't only talking about boys and Drama.

And since I have been happier with my social life, it has effected my mood in general, I've been more positive towards, everything.
It's weird. Very weird, but not bad at all.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20627847/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20627847/ Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:25:03 PDT I don't know exctly what to do with this situation. I mean I have always felt for a sense of purpose and belonging. A life goal of mine, I would say. And I definatly DO NOT find it with my current group. The new one, not sure, they could be just like eveyrone else, or they could be the ones who will save me and end my search. I feel more at home when I'm around them, I can talk freely and people actually reply and make me feel like I'm part of the conversation. And I actually have Fun with them, instead of just hanging aounrd watching the others have fun.

Should I take the selfish road, for personal happiness, and possibly loose some of my only friends. Or stay with them, and keep those friends, but feel like I am out of place. I don't know. If I leave, then I most likely will lose those friends. If I stay I dont loose them, and I dont lose the people in the other group either, but I never get a chance to be close to most of them in the first place. I guess my main problem isn't which should I choose, it's how will my current friends take to this. I have already talked to one of them about it, and she got fucking pissed at me. Like I understand her being angry at me, to some point. Yes, I basically said that I want to leave, or to them; I want to ditch them out of nowhere. Personally I don't see that being a bad outcome, cause what good do I really do there anyways? I'm rather quiet, I don't partisipate in most conversations (because its most girl talk anyways, that I couldnt give two shits about, or its about stupid typical teenage drama, which I can hear anywhere else. I'm sick of it) So really what harm am I doing leaving? Except they apperantly "like" me. I question that statment anyways. And then there are the ones who are so entertaining..no matter what my mood, they can make me feel good and just forget about everything else.

And now I have rather convinced myself which side to choose. But will I? I don't know. I need to think this through more, and talk to some people about this. Ones who will probably not be happy about it. But they are the ones who are being effected, so they should know. Right?


On another rather down note. School has started, and already starting off on a bad start. No suprise there. I have managed to fail every art test and quiz so far, plus havent done great on the other couple assignments, including the homework sketch which will not be finished because of my mood effecting my work efforts. My guitar class I'm, i'm just fucking lazy and don't care. That's all i can say about that. I don't practise, I do great on the theory work though. But playing tests I just sight read. And generlly it's hit or miss. I only take it because Jordan and Nikki are in that class and I like talking to them. But I have no desire to work in that class cause it's boring. And math, well i hate math with a passion, and frankly its the only one I have been trying in. Probably cause I have failed it pretty much ever other year of highschool. I kinda want my last year to Not fail it, and get a decent mark on it. But of course life is never easy with things..so I'm of course all of a sudden getting extreme periods of exaustion, ALWAYS during math, and only then. where I can't keep my eyes open, I even managed to fall asleep Right in the middle of writing my math test. That can't be good. I should get it checked out.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20158574/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20158574/ Mon, 25 Aug 2008 23:00:23 PDT That when you close your eyes, you would never open them again?
That your last thoughts before drifting off into sleep, would be the last you would ever have?
That all our troubles, the lies, the hurt, the damage we have done would just pass away with the closing of our eyes?

that you would never wake from your sleep..

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20087542/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20087542/ Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:20:40 PDT

They're starting to open up the sky
They're starting to reach down through
And it feels like we're living in that split-second
Of a car crash
And time is slowing down
And if we only had a little more time
And this time
Is all there is
Do you remember the time we
And all the times we
And should have
And were going to
I know
And I know you remember
How we could justify it all
And we knew better
In our hearts we knew better
And we told ourselves it didn't matter
And we chose to continue
And none of that matters anymore
In the hour of our twilight
And soon it will be all said and done
And we will all be back together as one
If we will continue at all

Shame on us
Doomed from the start
May God have mercy
On our dirty little hearts
Shame on us
For all we've done
And all we ever were
Just zeros and ones

And you never get away
And you never get to take the easy way
And all of this is a consequence
Brought on by our own hand
If you believe in that sort of thing
And did you ever really find
When you closed your eyes
Any place that was still
And at peace
And I guess I just wanted to tell you
As the light starts to fade
That you are the reason
That I am not afraid
And I guess I just wanted to mention
As the heavens will fall
We will be together soon if we
Will be anything at all

Shame on us
Doomed from the start
May God have mercy
On our dirty little hearts
Shame on us
For all we've done
And all we ever were
Just zeros and ones

(Zero Sum by Nine Inch Nails)

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20013271/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/20013271/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 22:21:00 PDT And well I have managed to do some things during the summer that were memorable. So now I'm just kinda looking back at everything.

Worked alot throughout the summer
Hung out with, not a hell of a lot of people.
Saw lots of movies Iron man/Hulk/Hancok/Clone Wars/Darkknight (3 times)
Went to see Dead and Divine, and Arise and Ruin at the Embassy, fun times.
and not to mention last friday was possibly the best day of the whole summer.
Went downtown with Lauren and got my lip pierced (she got her belly button done) then we looked around at places..went to London Rock, and I bought the most AMAZING Trent Reznor poster I have ever seen in my life. (the only one I have seen in my life) And also a sweet It Dies Today poster.

There have been ups and downs this summer. But over all not bad. I've had worse, but there have been better too.Well I'm going to cut it off now before I get too down about old summer memories.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19842001/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19842001/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 09:06:10 PDT
Well for me, I just haven't been in the artistic mood latley, I still have my 100th drawing to finish, its half way done, but I'm just been so not in the mood to work on it lately.


[dD]

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19676169/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19676169/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 08:10:45 PDT
So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie


Opening Credits:
"Home" by Depeche Mode (That isn't a bad opening song)

Waking up:
"Great Awakenings" by Rise Against (lol, name works, but the song isn't a very "wake up" song)

First Day at Highschool:
"Angel's Punishment" by Lacuna Coil(in a way it was a punishment )

Falling In Love:
"Choose" by Stone Sour (no comment)

Fight Song:
"Annunicate while you masticate" by A Static Lullaby (It doesnt say masterbate...I know I was disapointed too)

Breaking Up:
"Prison sex" by Tool

Prom: (I'll bring the Metal to the prom)
"Black Star Deciever" by Soilwork (Now that would be an intense Prom)

Life:
"Bodom Beach terror" by Children of Bodom (So I'm a beach serial killer?)

Mental Breakdown: (That wouldn't be very safe for others..)
"Brompton Cocktail" by Avenged Sevenfold (If I did have a breakdown, I might think about using some of those lol, burnBURN)

Driving:
"End of Heartache" by Killswitch Engage (I WOULD blast KsE while driving)

Flashback:
"New Begining" by Trapt

Getting Back Together:
"Strong and Smart" by In Flames

Wedding:
"In Your Face" by Children of Bodom (..now I am going to use that for my wedding if I ever get married XD and I will scare away half of the guests)

Birth of Child:
"Irony of dying on your birthday" by Senses Fail (..does the kid die or something?)

Final Battle: (who the hell am I fighting? Satan!?)
"Step Up (Glass Breaks)" by Disturbed (good fighten song, Disturbed has good fighting songs)

Death Scene: (I guess I lost?)
"Frail" by Finch (hmm, it IS a depressing song)

Funeral Song:
"Crawling" by Linkin Park

End Credits:
"Surrounded" by As I Lay Dying

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19620495/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19620495/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 09:37:52 PDT
]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19598095/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19598095/ Fri, 25 Jul 2008 21:26:32 PDT
- Choose a singer/band/group
- Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group
- Tag 6 more people (let them know they've been tagged)



Who choose ye?
Nine Inch Nails, biotch

1. Are you male or female?
Big Man With a Big Gun

2. Describe yourself.
Somewhat Damaged

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
Help Me I'm In Hell (lol)

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
Physical (bowchickabowwow, loL)

5. Describe your current relationship.
I Do Not Want This

6. Where would you want to be now?
A Warm Place

7. How do you feel about love?
Love is not Enough

8. What's your life like?
Everyday is Exactly the same

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
The Perfect Drug

10. Say something wise.
I'm Afraid of Americans

I TAG:


No one mutha fucka, BUURRRn

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19528666/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19528666/ Mon, 21 Jul 2008 23:55:26 PDT Birthday:: January 7th 91
Birthplace:: Toronto
Eye Colour:: brown
Hair Colour:: brown currently, gonna dye it black soonish
Height:: 6'2" ish?
Weight:: i dunno, not like you ever care, but..more then you probably. (and if you REALLY must know, I believe it was aobut 230 or 240-ish)
Right handed or Left handed?: Right
Your Heritage:: 1/2 Italian, and the other half is a mix of Britian and German but that side of the family has been in Canada for alot of generations already. Unlike my Italian side which came here when my mom was born
My Worst Habit:: bitting nails
Zodiac Sign:: Capricorn (I think?)
Shoe Size:: 11 i believe
Pants Size:: 42? or 40..ish? I have no clue. I do the old fashion "checking my pants while I am pants shopping"
Innie or Outie?: Innie
Parents Still Together?: yupp
The Shoes You Wore Today:: my only pair of shoes
Your Weakness:: METAL, Star Wars, Lego, and food (expcally meat and fryed stuff)
Your Fears:: heights, failure(of anything, yet I do it all the time) death of someone close to me, dying (the thought of being dead doesnt scare me, but the process of dying freaks me out)
Your Perfect Pizza:: Hawian
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:: buy a new guitar
Your Most Overused Phrase On An Instant Messenger: this face ""
Thoughts First Waking Up:: thoguhts may very depending on the day, the music I wake up too, and the dream I last remember
Your Best Physical Feature:: that is up to other's, not me
Your Bedtime:: generally about 12, but it all depends on how tired I am, and hoe bored I am
Your Most Missed Memory:: times with certain people years ago. THings that will never happen again, and I just let them slip away. =\

MY FAVORITES

Favorite color?: Black, red, purple, but mostly black
Food?: Chinese and Italian food (dont have an exact favourite)
Sport?: air guitar
Animal?: spiders, though everyone hates them
Ice Cream?: cookies and cream
Candy?: anything gummie and fruity
Store?: Backstage, Spencer's Gifts, EB, any CD store
Salad Dressing?: good old Italian style Oil, Vinger, and salt, i hate all other dressings, except cesear isn't bad
Actor?: don't have one
Song?: Don't have one, I have a bunch of very personal songs to me though. Including "Vermillion part 2" by Slipknot, "Forgotten" by Linkin Park, "Second Heartbeat" by A7X, "Right Where it belongs" by NIN, and a few other songs
Letter?: I like "x" (dunno why) and "D" isn't bad, cause it's part of my online initials "dD" (Destructive Delirium)
Number?: 7 , 666 , 1138 (star wars number)
Gum?: meh
Holiday?: christmas lol
Season?: fall (not hot, but no snow)
Toothpaste Flavor?: could care less
Radio Station?: meh, I listen to FM96, but noly cause it's the only Decent station, it's still not great though. Plays alot of crap. But every now and then they play a decent or even good song. I have managed to hear Disturbed on their twice last week, both times after band practise
Perfume?: don't wear it, don't care much
Scent besides perfume?: honestly, the best smell I have ever smelt is her (who "her" is, well that's not your business)
Body part on the opposite sex?: hair and eyes (or most facial features I guess)

FRIENDS AND LIFE



What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?: Life time dream is being a musician...but for a realistic career goal..no clue
How Do You Want To Die?: I don't know, but the BEST way I think would be to save the one I love somehow, and die in her arms. I couldn't think of a more dramatic, cliched, but better death and I am 100% serious about what I said
Turn ons:: hair, fashion style (yeah) music abilities (big turn on), someone who can be strong when I'm not (cause I'm not strong), and someone who really clearly shows that they are there and care
Turn offs:: Smoking (HUGE MEGA TurnOff) Drugs (except weed and drinking I'm more tolerble for) acting whorish/slut-ish, ignoring me, and just being an over all asshole
Which One Of Your Friends Acts The Most Like You?: Dustin
Who Makes You Laugh The Most?: Dustin (and all the fucked up shit we come up with, lol) but everyone else makes me laugh equally I guess
... ]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19512812/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19512812/ Mon, 21 Jul 2008 06:37:50 PDT I don't know. Currently no, because sex isn't on the top of priorities for me. Finding someone who I love and who loves me back is much more important.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
haven't done it. But night I guess has that traditional feel

3 What side of the bed do you sleep on?
I move around like hell, so all sides. Once I've woken up backwards

4 Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
nope, I've pulled over the pee, but not puke

5 Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
nah, I do it for free. (lol, Leah @ Deadman's hill)

6 Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
somewhere in between? I dunno, nor do I care right now

7 Do you love someone in your friends list?
not in "that" way.

8 Do you know all the people in your friends list?
nope

9 Love or money?
Haven't realy had true love. And love for me hasn't really created much happiness for me yet. But I still would choice love over money.

10 Credit cards or cash?
cash, I feel more "safe" with cash cause then no computer can fuck it up.

11 Have you ever had anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
Nah, I like or can stand everyone in my family (that I know) there are lots of other family members I don't know (mostly living in Italy)

12 Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
to hell with the great outdoors, hotel is better. It's got a bed

13 Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
n/a

14 Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
it would have to be ALOT of fucking money. shaving EVERYTHING is a huge deal for a guy.

15 Have you ever been to a strip club?
nope

16 Ever been to a bar?
yupp. not for drinking purposes, but I've played shows at bars before. They even let me stay when I was underage and it was 19+

17 Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
nope

18 Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
I don't drink, period. So I have never been drunk before.

19 Kissed someone of the same sex?
noo

20 Ever had sex in the bathroom?
does masterbating count?
lol, jk

21 Have you ever had sex at work?
same as above haha

22 Have you ever bought anything from an adult store?
nah, but..I do find them interesting to look around in..

23 Ever been caught having sex?
nah

24 Does anyone have naughty pictures of YOU?
nah

25 Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
can't say I have had that happen. It would be pretty funny if it happened. Not at the time it wouldn't be funny but looking back at it.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19462033/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19462033/ Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:57:00 PDT
]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19435906/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19435906/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:18:32 PDT That's all I'm going to say for now, I could keep rambling on, but I don't think many people care to read a Giant ass long thing about things that don't even concern them, so I will cut it off here.
It's just funny who our hearts choice sometimes.


This has been another depressing ramblings of someone with no life.
[dD]


(PS...my mood is not tired, it's miserble, depressed, lonely, things along those lines)

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19328349/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19328349/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:35:01 PDT I'm a huge fan of Lego, Indiana Jones, and the previous Star Wars Lego games, so of course I will love this game. And indeed it is very similar in style to Lego Star Wars, but with some new added features. Like you can take peoples weapons and use them.

And on a side note. Wow, v6, confusingness. I kinda preffer the older version, but I guess I'll get used to it. But the Moods still don't work.

[dD]

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19281347/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19281347/ Tue, 08 Jul 2008 20:39:04 PDT
Now, to keep the record straight, I also hate conformaty. Because it makes the world a boring place. But I really hate the people who are all like "I'm so non-conformist, I don't want to be like all the rest of you, so I'm gonna dye my hair black and act the way EVERYONE else is these days" Cause there is alot of logic in that idea. *sarcasim* Most people who claim to be a non-conformist are conformists themselves

I also don't like Conformists who believe they HAVE to fit in. Why live your life by someone else's standards, beliefs, and rules? Its about as intelligent as sticking your head in a Sharks mouth for fun. (Actually less intelligent because atleast with the Shark, you can get a pretty cool Last picture of you)
This part can lead into a whole other rant on its own, so I won't go into detail. But feeling you HAVE to be a certain weight, certain look, wear certain clothing, weari makeup because you Think the oppisite gender finds it attractive. And all the other crazy shit many people (mostly found in teens and young adults.
I just can't get even understand some of these peoples logics at times. You should dress, look, act like how your comfertable. If that involves wearing a giant bunny suit, then DO IT. Don't let other peoples opinions stop you.

Ok so that was a weird rant, I kinda went both ways on that. But meh, I still agree with it. But if you find loop holes in it, please feel free to bring them up and I'll try to explain how I see it as, because I'm pretty tired right now to notice everything I have, or haven't writin down.


[dD]

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19265239/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19265239/ Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:13:28 PDT
Anyways. So today I picked up Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Transformers the game, cause they were both cheap.
Marvel, like I said already, is a pretty fun and cool game. The cut scene graphics are very nicely done and voice acting and story so far is also good. The play gets abit confusing if your playing with multiple people, or if your just fighting in a large group of people. Thank god you can't hurt your own team because I would have Murdered them so many times , and 60% of those times would have been accident... And if your interested whos MY team. Well obviously My ULTIMATE team consists of Spiderman (who is now blacksuit Spidey since I unlocked that costume) Iron Man, Wolverine, and currently its the Human Torch, but that 4th slot is being constantly switched around from a bunch of other people.

And the other game, Transformers. Transformers is a series that really has a LOT of potential in the video game market. Sadly it is not one that is often used (or if Ever used) This game is somewhere in the middle. The graphics are above average I think for a PS2 game. I like how you can destroy anything you see basically, including every single building. The fighting in the game isn't bad either. But the main thing that makes me cringe, is the Terrible Physics in the game. You hit a bus while your a small car..and the bus goes flying like its styrofoam. And you can not hit people AT ALL. The game is set up similar to the GTA style game. Where your in a large area and you can roam around do whatever you want and choose to do missions as you please. I always like games that use this style of gameplay, it gives you just a place to play around if you choose. Luckly you can destroy the city in this game because if you couldn't, well then there would be nothing to do. But kicking cars around like toys when in Robot mode is pretty enjoyable I must say. So over all the game is decent. It's not great, but it's not terrible. If you see it cheap and are a Transformers fan it's not a bad game to get if you have some extra cash and want a new game to kill sometime. But don't expect an award winning next generation game here.

Wow that was alot longer then i thought it would end up. So I'll stop now.


[dD]

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19226180/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19226180/ Sat, 05 Jul 2008 21:37:59 PDT
So I was watching Donnie Darko earlier. One of my favourites movies. But when ever I watch it, i always get depressed. I don't know why. I connect with Donnie and the movie in general so much.It's just feels so real. The ending is sad, yes, but thats not excatly what always gets me down. But I'm also not really sure does bring me down. It's hard to explain.

But I can't say I have ever felt more attached to fictional characters in my life, then Donnie.

Blah, that's all I guess. Just felt like typing. Closest thing to talking right now I can do.

So now all I am doing, is sitting here thinking about her.
All I can say is, Cupid has one cruel sense of humour.

[dD]

***BTW, When the hell are they going to fix the damn emotions thing. I've been stuck with being Tired for weeks.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19207182/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19207182/ Fri, 04 Jul 2008 18:05:48 PDT

So currently I am learning Betrayed by Avenged Sevenfold. The intro is abit tricky, but I got the just of it. Just need to work on speeding it up now. The rest of the song will come in time as well. But the intro is what I mainly wanted to learn.

I wish dA had a video option, then I could make videos of me playing guitar or of my band playing, and then upload them here. I know, there's youtube, but it would be better here.


[dD]

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19205699/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19205699/ Fri, 04 Jul 2008 16:10:20 PDT

Just got my first FULL pay check..the last one wasn't full because I started working around the end of the week. But I gots $190 That's more then I expected, meaning I will be able to pay off my dad completely now (I owed him about $120 or so, cause I convinced him to buy a Star Wars Lego set that was on for 50% off XD neeerrddd, I know)
And I will have left overs to continue on saving for that iPod I so DESPERATLY NEED. I'm still using a CD walkmen for piss sakes!

[dD]

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19202798/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19202798/ Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:02:31 PDT I need ideas and styles of way to draw a realistic character but not insanly detailed. THinking of a simpler version of most comicbook style characters. But anyways I need help with this, so if you have any ideas just send an example of different styles.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19179429/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19179429/ Thu, 03 Jul 2008 07:55:07 PDT


Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 15 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game, post your own.


Here we go:


1- "I built my life like my bike on a rigid frame
nothing bends, it only breaks into pieces and pieces"


2- "I watched you change,I never knew that you could be like all the rest. You were so true, too good to be true."


3- "I would tell you about the things they put me through
The pain Ive been subjected to"


4- "Go, run away in distress
try to hide from what's
creeping and crawling and stabbing within"


5- "And the little boy stared
Into the eyes of the night
Button collects price of his time"
Nuguns by System of a Down

6- "Got money, do anything for you. Got money, just do what you want me to."


7- "I know what lies beneath, I've seen the flash of teeth.
Conspiring with the reef to sink our ship."
Red Sky by Thrice

8- "The road is dry... I'm fucking delirious right now... life goes on... glorious evening of nodding and jumping starts... I need to make a personal dance party" (EXTREMELY hard)


9- "While you've been dreaming of the dead and lost.
I Have been awake kissing these clock faces
The fear of sleep has left me tired and worn
But in her dreams is where i will haunt her" (VERY hard)
Sleepless nights and city lights by I Killed The Prom Queen


10- "If There Was A Single Day I Could Live,
A Single Breath I Could Take,
I'd Trade All The Others Away." (Hard)
Laid To Rest by Lamb of God


11- "I've been up at this all night long
I've been drowning in my sleep
I've prayed for your safe place
And its time for us to leave
Time is running, its running on empty and the gas is running out" (Hard)


12- "Marching alone, like a good soilder does. I'm setting sail, with anchors holding me down."
Lead Sails and Paper Anchors by Atreyu

13- "See you sittin' next to the window in the bedroom
She breaks down - breaks down
Crying over something and starin' into nothin'
Afraid now - hate now"


14- "Used to be original,
but now i tremble in fear
i am like everyone else
alabary spell" (Tricky)
Sober and Irrelevant by In Flames

15- "So I run, hide and tell myself
I'll start again with a brand new name
And eyes that see into infinity"
Capricorn by 30 Seconds To Mars \

Bonus: "Once again waiting for the darkness, beat up
spun and scarred. Prepare for another war
Day by day we decay. Sunlight, get out of my way
Dig up yourself from your grave" (Extremely Hard)
Living Dead beat by Children of Bodom

Good luck, your gonna need it with some of them

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19161265/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19161265/ Wed, 02 Jul 2008 08:20:07 PDT
That is correct. It appears Disney, and Jerry B. (I'm not even going to attempt to spell his last name..its th eguy who produced Pirates of the Carribean) anounced that they will make a movie version of the popular video game series. The movie is going to be called "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" obviously based on the game of the same name. So far they have 4 actors announced who will be in it. The main one being Jake Gylinhol (sp?) who will be playing The Prince. Though they did rename some of the characters, including the Prince. And the other actor I remember...I forget his name, but he played Doctor Otto Octavious, aka Doc Oc, in Spiderman 2.

There isn't much of the plot out yet, but they said the story will be changed abit, which I don't mind. Unlike alot of fanboys of things, I'm not picky when they change story lines of things, gives it a new twist. I don't want to watch identically the same thing as what the game was.

I'm most interested to see the stunts/action and the CGI in this. I hope they inlcude some of the cool fighting styles the Prince used in the game, including running on walls, Jumping over top of peoples heads, and of course his ability to control time. I hope they include time rewinding, cause everyone loved that feature. (Saved my ass so many times) I'm also interested to see things like the Sand-zombies.

Now what else would be cool, assuming this movie is good or not. If they did the games "Warrior Within" and "The Two Thrones" because I liked the story in those sequals too. Plus I want to see the Dahaka, and Dark Prince

Well that's all for now, just wanted to say that because I'm looking forward to it.

O and I forgot to meantion, the film is suppost to come out...I THINK October 2009. But I could be wrong on the month.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19110478/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19110478/ Sun, 29 Jun 2008 13:48:52 PDT
PS...I didn't steal this idea from anyone.*looks around nervously*

Ok first off, Summer movies.
I'm not a huge movie person (cause most are dumb anyway) But this summer has a bunch of Superhero movies (which I'm a sucker for almost any)
Ages ago when it came out, I saw Iron Man, and I really enjoyed it. Great action (though could have used abit more) And his suit just looked amazing.
A few weeks ago I also saw The Hulk, which was SO much better then the original one. This one felt alot like Iron Man, good action, SG wasn't over the top, and I loved the couple of tie-ins between Iron man and The Hulk (like showing "Stark Ind." writtin on military weapons. And of course Iron man's camio at the end of the Hulk.
And I just got back today from (finally) seeing the 4th Indiana Jones movie. (though I haven't seen the 2nd and 3rd in ages) I thoguht it was over all a good movie. Not Amazing. But worth seeing. It had good action, pretty good story line (even with the Aliens thing. That didn't bother me)And I didn't feel that there was tons of refferences to the old movies, which is good. A couple of tie ins are good though. Though I love how it showed the Ark of the Covinent around the begining.
I'm also looking forward in the summer to the new batman movie, The Dark Knight. I'm not normally a huge Batman fan, but this one does really look good. And my god I love the joker in this one. Hes so fucking evil looking, love it
I'm also looking forward to the Star Wars Clone Wars movie. (which most people I know wouldn't be interested in) Its' only really for Star Wars fans. It probably won't be great, but it should be atleast enjoyable to watch on the big screen.


Hmmm, I didn't think that the movies would take up so much room. Apperantly it did though.

Anyways, onto Music. I've been listening to alot of new bands,alot of which are Metal type bands. Though currently I am Really liking "The Heroin Diaries" by Sixx: A.M. One reason because it is just all good music. But also cause the album is one big story. It serves as the soundtrack to Nikki Sixx's book about his life and heroin addiction. Which he is in this band Sixx AM, if you didnt make the connection yet.
I'm also really liking the bands "The Agonist", "Between The Buried and Me", "Bury Your Dead", "Disturbed's new album", "Funeral For a Friend", "The Human Abstract", "Red", "Shadows Fall", "Unearth" and many other bands I dont remember at the moment.

Along with Older albums from "30 Seconds To Mars", "Children of Bodom", "Coheed and Cambria", "In Flames", and others.


And for my everyday life. Things are pretty dull around here. School is over (Thank fucking god)But I'm working as a cashier at a grocery store. Which is boring as hell, but so is sitting on my computer in my room. But atleast I get money..and I can start saving up for a bunch of things. like an iPod (yes I dont own an MP3 player yet.) a new guitar, plus new Amp, and other things for my guitar. And also I want to get an X-Box 360, plus a bunch of games, first being of course GTA IV *drools*

Well that's all for me, I need a bloody Advil now cause my head isn't getting better.

~dD~

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19097834/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19097834/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 18:54:02 PDT
sure, why not?



Would you do meth if it was legalized?
Dude I don't even do the already legal drugs, what makes you think I would do meth if it was legal?



Abortion: for or against?
completely nutral, it's not my place to have a say in it, nor do I frankly care.



A 2 month old child and a 65 year old man who has the cure for
cancer but hasn’t had a chance to announce it yet, one of them has
to die...who should survive?
Well obviously the guy with the cure for cancer. Its a choice of saving 1 life, against saving millions of other people, and for all time.



Would our country fall with a woman president?
Well I would sure as hell hope not. I don't see anything a male presedent can do that a female one couldn't do.



Do you believe in the death penalty?
I believe that if you Take a life, you should have to give your own. But too bad crimes aren't that easy, people aren't always fully mentally stable, or you might get the wrong guy, or something.



The Electric Chair?
Nah, thats abit more disturbing to others. Lethel injection is the best.



Getting that shot that kills you instantly?
Lethal Injection, yeah I just said that. And it goes with the first question, if they are 100% guilty of a murder, then yes.



Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
I couldn't give a shit personally. I don't do it. But I don't see the harm in legalizing it. Frankly if the government taxed it like they do with all the other legal drugs, they could make alot of money. They should just treat it like alcohol



Do you believe in God?
No, I don't believe in "THE god" or "A god" or "GODS" or any spiritual power like that.
But I'm the kind of person, if you gave me 100% physical evidence, then I would believe it, I just have nothing but a book to make me believe. And sorry, a book that I am almost certain has been changed by people about a thousand times will make me believe in a god.



Do you think its wrong that so many Mexicans are moving to the USA?
The only problem I have with ANY type of immigrant is when they bring negative sides of their culter to our country. Things like violance, or racist/sexist beliefs. Those aren't tollerated here, and you should not bring them here.
But if they really do want a better life, then by all means they should be welcome



I do believe they should try immigrating the RIGHT way though.
No one ever meantioned which way they were immigrating in the first place. And the only reason they are jumping over the boarder is because the fucking US government won't let them in the first place. If they let them in, then their wouldnt be those problems



A 12 year old girl has a baby..should she keep it?
It depends on abunch of things. I think she should have to go through some course about parenting. And she needs to have a mother, or some sort of guardian who can help her (with money, and taking care of the baby when shes at school)



Should the alcohol age be lowered to 18?
I don't drink so it doesn't bother me. And frankly it wouldn't change anything. People drink from age 14 and even younger, so the drinking age is REALLY just an age limit to get into a bar.
But they should change it to 18 just because, NOTHING happens at 18, besides you can sign yourself out of school. Your a legal adult, but you get no cool benifits. So they should.



Should the war in Iraq be called off?
I dont even know what the hell they are doing right now over there, we Canadians just stopped paying attention ages ago.



Assisted suicide is illegal..do you agree?
I don't think it should. But I don't know how anyone could actually have the nerve to be able to help someone else die, I know if I did that I would probably kill myself eventually afterwards because knowing that I techincally killed someone. Even if it was their choice

Do you believe in spanking your children?
I wouldn't do it personally. But I don't see a HUGE harm in doing it. Depending on how hard you did it. And plus, people have been doing that for years, and not EVERYONE is a crazy idiot, so i don't think it scared everyone too bad



A mother is declared innocent after murdering her 5 children, what do you think?
She should be thrown off the fucking Hoover Dam. That's just sick
More so then throwing someone off of a Dam



It's between you and a person who is being kept alive by life support machines..one has to die? Who?
Well being the non-selfish person I am, I would sa... ]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19056049/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/19056049/ Thu, 26 Jun 2008 11:36:19 PDT Well I don't know how to celebrate, so I'll just say, HURRAY FOR ME
And also draw a picture, which I was going to draw anyways, but now it will be for 2,000+ page views. Any A7X fans should be happy, it will be on the theme of The Beast and the Harlot..but thats all I will meantion for now. I should also have another sketch that I based the style off of the cd cover to Come Clarity by In Flames. If your interested, heres the album cover: [link]

O and just to be a real jerk. Ps..the game.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/18985021/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/18985021/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:41:52 PDT Step 2: Post the first line from the first 15 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game, post your own.


DestructiveDelirium's added rule. Once all 15 have been guessed, I'm doing another quiz (assuming if this one is successfull or not)


Here we go:


1- "The kiss, Sweetest. And touch, so warm. The smile, kindest. In this world, so cold and cruel."
"Close to the Flame" by HIM
Answered by: sYners-red-shadow

2- "Everything has been said before. There's nothing left to say anymore. When it's all the same you can ask for it by name."
"The New Shit" by Marilyn Manson
Answered by: The-Black-Sheepy

3- "It's too late, the time has come. I've kept this inside me way too long."
"Break Me Down" by Alter Bridge
Answered by: shumuffles

4- "Wish I was too dead to cry, self reflection fades. Stones to throw at my creator."
"Bother" by Stone Sour
Answered by: shumuffles

5- "I am, a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard. Hand full of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see theis scars."
Answered by: AshFantastic

6- "This past to go, while I collapse. It's not a false alarm,the ashes settle in."
"The Mirror's Truth" by In Flames
Answered by: shumuffles

7- "Wow! Shabang! Welcome to my enterprice. All you dance around, kiss my ass two times!"

8- "Gonna take my time. I have all the time in the world, to make you mine. It is writtin in the stars above."

9- "Wake up, are you alive, you've got to listen to me. I'm gonna talk about some freaky shit now. Someone is gonna die when you listen to me. let the living die! let the living die!"

10- "I still recall the taste of your tears. Echoing your voice, just like the ringing in my ears."

11- "Jealousy's an ugly word, but you don't seem to care.
Converse behind my back, but now I'm here.
Need no one to comply with me through everyone that I defeat
Don't need you, fuck camaraderie, this rage will never go away"
"Burn It Down" by Avenged Sevenfold
Answered by: BetrayedConfession

12- "All non believers stand aside in fear. A new day's marching through the door. How could you ever think you might get here?"
"The Running Free" by Coheed and Cambria
Answered by: BetrayedConfession

13- "This story is missing a wishing well. No mirror to show and tell. No kiss that can break the spell, I'm falling asleep."

14- "This place rings with echoe of Lives once lived but now are lost. Time spent wondering about tomorrow."
"Blood To Bleed" by Rise Against
Answered by: BetrayedConfession

15- "I won't stand in your way. Let your hatred grow and she'll scream and she'll shout and she'll cry and she had a name yes she had a name."



That's all for now

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/18917471/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/18917471/ Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:21:43 PDT

Name? Eric
Age? 17
Sex? physically male..mentally neither
Birth Date? Jan 7th 91
Hair Color? currently dark brown, need to dye it back to black soon
Eye Color? brown
Height? 6'2"
Weight? 235ish? I'm not very skinny
Body Type? fatter then skinny, but not extremely overweight
Piercings? 0 fornow..I plan on getting one or two some time
Tattoos? 0 at the moment...might get one or two in the future
What are you wearing right now? Simpsons PJ bottoms XD
Hair style at the moment? slightly dirty, needs a showering tomorrow

* Favorites *
Soda? orange
Food? chises food..and Italian food
Drink? orange juice..or any kind of fruitopia
Alcoholic Drink? alcohol is shit..and not the good shit
Time of day? 9pm-12am
Season? fall
Day of the week? Saturday and Friday (once school is over)
Song at the moment? "Tie My Rope" by Children of Bodom
Band/Artist? Avenged Sevenfold, Nine Inch Nails, All That Remains, Atreyu, Bullet For My Valentine...I don't really have an EXACT favourite at the moment.
Book? Stephen King's "The Shining"
Subject in school? Art, and Guitar
Place in the USA? could care less
Place outside the USA? haven't found anywhere great yet.
Color? "color" what is this term...i dont know, but I do know what "COLOUR" is, and in that case it would be Black
Style of clothes? emo/metal-head/goth/punk/rocker things along that style.
Store? Backstage, Spencer's Gifts, EB, any CD stores, any music (instruments) stores
Mall? Whiteoaks...masonville sucks balls
City? definatly Not London..hate this city
Website? DeviantArt, FBTBforum, Ctrl-Alt-Del
Magazine? dont like magazines
Kind of pet? cat, but im allergic to them

* Worst *

Place to be? Laurier...or London in general
Class in school? Andrew's English class *shots head*
Time of dayr? any time I'm at school, or thinking about school
Season? Summer (WAY TOO Hot for my liking, but its nice to have no school )
Kind of pet? Rock
Drink? Whiskey, or Beer, ugh
Food? Tomatoes (except tomatoe sauce)
Mall? no question...Galleria. The Dead Mall
Store? American Eagle, and all the other preppy clothing stores that all look the same to me..I'm tempted to burn them down
Style of clothes? Ganster
Celebrity? Any of the ones who you always hear about
Color? Yellow and Orange
Book? Wuthering Heights...ugh, couldnt even make it through a full chapter without skipping half of it
Type of music? Rap/Hiphop, Country, Oprea
Website? Facebook..Myspace...yet I use them both, kinda sad
Magazine? fashion magazines, Celebrity gosspi magazines, and girly ones in general..hatehatehatehate


* Daily Life *

When do you get up? 5:30-6 on weekdays, and 7-8am on weekends
What is your first thought? Fuuuuuuuuuuucck
What do you do first? listen to whatever music is playing in the background (I sleep with music on)
What's your usual outfit? During the week:
Public Clothing: Jeans, with a couple of small chains attached to them, some sort of black band tshirt, sometimes things like gloves or guitar pick neckless, or wrist bands or other things.
At Home: Boxers or Pj bottoms (depending on Temp) and maybe a shirt, (again depending on temp)
What's the first class of the day? this semester it is Bio
When does school end? 2:45pm
Do you see your friends? during the day? yeah,most of them
What do you do when you get home? Go on the computer
What time do you go to bed? whenever I'm tired, which is usually around 11:30 or 12

* Do you...*

Brush your teeth daily? try to, but Im very busy most of the times and it slips my mind
Brush your hair daily? Yes
Shower daily? most days, if I'm not going out in public that day I dont bother, unless I havent showered the day before, then I will..i dont go for over two days with out showering
Sing? yeah..not well probably
Dance? Moshing...nah not really, i hate moshing, it should be changed to be called "Retarded emo's dance"
Party? nah, i dont like most people, expesally when they are drunk
Get drunk? no
Have sex? n... ]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/18901045/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/18901045/ Tue, 17 Jun 2008 20:56:17 PDT
First off, best news, I FINALLY got a job. I'm now working as a cashier at A&, with Sean. So now I have money to support all of my collector's addictions.

Second biggest news I think, is the resent release of pictures of the new Lego set #10188 Death Star, and words can't describe it's amazingness. I don't think I have been this excited for a set before this one.
O and if you aren't aware, I'm a huge Lego Star Wars collector, I have a huge wall full of it.
Now only problem with this Death Star set...I have only one spot that would fit this set which is about 50cm tall by the looks of it) And that would be on the very top of my shelves, and with the details and features in this set, I don't want it so high up and hard to see. So I have some reorganizing to do.

Also last friday, my band played their first REAL gig, at Norma Jeans. It was pretty sweet, and I thought we did pretty good (though not our best, we have played alot better before)But we got a lot of complements (including some from the band we were opening for) So that was cool. Except my arms were dead for 3 days after because of all the lifting. Lifting all of our amps/crates, all the other equipment, plus our whole drum set (which we found out we didnt even need to bring because the band we were opening for were bring theres)



As for not so great things, well mostly typical shit. Lonely, stress, isolated-feeling, love-sick..etc...
Plus I really think there is something wrong with my stomach lately. I've been getting mad heartburn lately, that just wont go away, even after having tons of antacids. Normally I have moe then normal amount of heartburn, but not this much, and this happened all of a sudden, not slowly. So I don't know :S

Well that is all about my life currently. Thursday starts my first exam, and I probably will do bad on almost all of my exams. But whatever, I'm trying to study, so i can only do my best.
And I'm also really tired. I have been having terrible sleep for the past week or so. Mostly because all last week we were having midnight band practises (o joy, everyone is so bitchy at that time) And most nights have ust been very restless and uncomfertable.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/18736660/ http://DestructiveDelirium.deviantart.com/journal/18736660/ Sun, 08 Jun 2008 19:08:14 PDT
The smell of a summer night, the sounds of crickets in the distence, the peacfulness of the air. It all reminds me of better times. Times as a kid, and times not even that long ago. And now that grade 11 is almost over, I really start to notice how fast life is now moving. And how much I'm not ready for it. (But is anyone?) In 6 months I will be 18, abit more then a year now I might even be moving out. That's not a pleasent thought, I cant even get a fucking job! How the hell am I supposed to survive after highschool I don't even know what I want to do with my life. On one side, I am thinking about going to Shariden in Toronto. But then on the other hand, my band is in London, and they mean more to me then life itself right now. They feel like my only ticket to something in life.

I feel I have completely wasted my whole life up to this point, and it already is too late to fix things, life has taken off and I'm just Barely holding on to it. There's no turning back now. No back to the good old days where nothing mattered but simple problems. All I cared about back then was having fun.

I just can't get over these memories of old days. Days with Dustin, days with all my old friends. Everything.
I hate what my life has become, and I just miss those memories extremely that I tear just thinking about them sometimes.

[link]
This picture might not mean anything to you, but it means an ALOT to me, just to look at it. Is very depressing.

]]> ~DestructiveDelirium