http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:DisappearForever&section=today deviantART RSS for by:DisappearForever en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:31:49 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28842555/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28842555/ Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:26:39 PST AND ITS AMAZINGNESS IN A SOFT PAPER-Y SHELL!!! I freaking love it.


My Christmas came early.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28823313/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28823313/ Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:13:06 PST so yeah...

1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:

1: You don't know anything about them, stop acting like you do. You're going to get hurt.
2. I'm so sick of your shit. I can't take it anymore.
3. I miss you so much.
4. I need you now more than ever, but you've forgotten about me...
5. I wish you were here with me.
6. I love you, but you're a total bitch.
7. I'm so worried about you...
8. What did I ever do to you? Why do you always act like being with me is a punishment? Why do you hate me?
9. It feels like you don't even care anymore...
10. You're a serious weirdo, but it just makes you more lovable. XD

EIGHT ways to win your heart:

1. Make me laugh
2. Accept me
3. Notice things that others don't/won't.
4. Teach me things you think are trivial.
5. Hug me randomly.
6. Don't leave me alone when I tell you I need to be left alone
7. Hold my hand in public
8. Stand up for me.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

1. "I wanna get out of here..."
2. "Whats the point in doing this anymore?"
3. "I don't even care anymore..."
4. "I hate this."
5. "Why don't you ever notice when I'm upset? Do you even care?"
6. "OMG just leave me alone already!"
7. "I don't feel like I belong..."

FIVE people who mean a lot at the moment: (Omg that is NOT enough.)

1. Raybear
2. Kelly
3. Kimpie
4. Erica
5. Felicia

FIVE songs that you listen to often lately:

1. Hot Mess by Cobra Starship
2. Fireflies by Owl City
3. Gives You Hell by All American Rejects
4. Just Like You by Three Days Grace
5. Scream by Tokio Hotel

if ya wanna do it, consider yourself tagged....

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28736048/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28736048/ Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:51:36 PST
I don't know about anyone elses home life or family around this time of year, but I know mine is always stressed. My mom is always bitching about one thing or another, my sister the same thing. Hell, even I bitch about everything I have to do with the decorations around the house. Just today I complained about having to climb on the roof to hang the lights. (ANYONE who knows me, knows that that is NOT a safe job for my clumsy ass.) Plus, my family is always scrambling over each other to find someones list or hide another persons gift, or to shut someone up so they don't let that person hear about a gift for this person or something of that sort. Everyone in my family always states that this is their favorite time of year. Then they always bitch about how stressed out they are. WHY WOULD YOUR FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR BE THE TIME YOU'RE THE MOST STRESSED OUT? I just don't get it.

People are also talking about 'oh the music around this time of year is so beautiful!' It's just music. I mean, yeah, the words are made specifically for Christmas and stuff, but the music is the same kind of music you can hear all year long. To tell ya the truth, I hardly ever listen to Christmas music at this time. I mean, when it's closer to Christmas, like the 20th or so, yeah I listen to it because it's blaring through my house from every room. Otherwise, the songs pouring out of my speakers are ones that keep my hope and faith afloat. Ones that keep the tears at bay and cover that big-ass black hole with cardboard so I don't fall into it. Ones that bring up memories of them, but only the good ones. Ones that make me feel as if they're still here somehow.

Ugh. Sorry I went on a rant. I just really hate this time of year. I'll stop now before I start foaming at the mouth.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28586982/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28586982/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:10:13 PST


]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28524804/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28524804/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:05:38 PST
other than life is kinda being a bitch to my friends right now. TT_TT I feel so helpless. I've always been the person that goes running to friends when their in need, but I can't now for various reasons, distance being the biggest problem. I try to help them over texts, phone calls, and messages on various sites, but nothing seems to help. It makes me feel like a bad person and a bad friend. On top of all that, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. There's nothing I have a passion for anymore. Not writing, not photography, not gaming. Nothing. Although, since I wasn't really good at any of that I guess it's okay. heh

and coming up on the anniversaries of all of the deaths doesn't really help anything either. I'm always bombarded with memories of them around this time of year, and it makes me miss them so much. I used to love fall and winter, now I do nothing but dread and despise it each year it comes. It's so hard to get through it without falling to pieces. I'm sick of trying to survive it. I wish the pain would just go away. But it seems like it gets harder every year. I hate the holidays...

whaddaya know..i guess i had something to say after all...

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28424552/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28424552/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:54:38 PST


and I must say, IT. IS. AWESOME!

i love it XDD


i shall be away a few days for shooting zombies xD

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28257483/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/28257483/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 22:00:42 PST
[link]


i will not calm down until it's in my hands.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27975379/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27975379/ Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:35:51 PDT
epicfail. XDD I couldn't think of anything so yeah. Just thought I'd let yall know that.

In other news, I quit my job. Got too stressful...I'm also working in a haunted house, and it is SOOOO FUN! My room is win, we've made people shit & piss their pants. It's epic. XDD

How is everyone else's October going?


(WTF. Devart won't let me change me mood again! BLARG!)

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27871343/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27871343/ Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:48:33 PDT

Level 1
( ) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex (cheek

SO FAR: 1

Level 2
( ) Are / Been In Love
(x) Dumped someone
( ) Been Fired
(x) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 3

Level 3
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped Class
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 6

Level 4
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your deviantart friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 8

Level 5
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(x) Met Someone Through Internet
(x) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 10

Level 6
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
( ) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 13

Level 7
(x) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
(x) Gone mudding
(x) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 18

Level 8
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO far: 23

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set :3
( ) Felt An Earthquake
(x) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 25

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
( ) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 28

Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention (never went to it XD)
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 31

Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR : 33

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
( ) Witnessed A Crime
(x) Pole Danced (as a joke! lol)
(x) Questioned Your Heart
(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes (what? >>

SO FAR: 37

Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Felt like you were dying

SO FAR: 40

Level 16
(x) Cried to sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins (that cashier was soooooo pissed. )

SO FAR: 45

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 48

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach Or Anywhere

SO FAR: 52

Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey ( )

SO FAR: 54

Level 20
(x) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge (sorta)
( ) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 56

Level 22
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube (ice cube xD)
(x) Kicked A Fish (back into water.)
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 60

Level 23
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel (never ever xD)
(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently stayed Up for a while talking to someone you care about

SO FAR: 63

Level 24
( ) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree (funnnnnn!!)
(x) Had/Been In A Tree House
(x) Been scared To Watch Scary Mo... ]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27785650/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27785650/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:05:10 PDT
If you ever, ever, EVER, see any kind of animal abuse, no matter what kind of animal it is, or what kind of abuse, or neglect, please please please, I beg you, turn the owner over to the police, PETA, or whatever animal care society you think is proper to turn them over to. Animal abuse IS against the law. Neglect, IS abuse. And there IS a special level of hell for people who abuse and neglect helpless animals like my little mare.


R.I.P. Mama
I hope your wings fly you as fast and as far as your hooves once did.
I hope you find peace, and that your heart stays filled with love.


I love you my sweet girl.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27657423/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27657423/ Sat, 10 Oct 2009 12:22:49 PDT
I called the caretaker of the place last night telling him that she hadn't moved all day or eaten her feed, she was laying in the same spot in her excrement and was barely eating her hay. He freaked out and headed down but he's hours away, so he gets there in like, the middle of the night or whatever. Anyway, apparently this morning the sheriff made a stop out there to talk to him about the condition that a little mare that they were keeping was in. She was literally a skeleton with skin pulled over it. It was horrible to see. She's now at a barn of a trusted horseman and is being fed and cared for. After that happened, the guy took Mama to the vet and the vet threatened to turn him and the owner in to county if they didn't euthanize her or send her to someone who would take care of her. So, my sister, ever faithful to creatures in need, called them, and said she would take her. The owner said she could have her and Mama is now at my sisters friends place, in a clean pen, eating hay happily, and drinking all the water she can. She's getting shots to help with the pain she has, and she's getting all sorts of horsey vitamins and other things to help her get into a better condition. A farrier is coming out tomorrow to look at her feet and see what he can do with them, and we're hoping she'll make it. We're fairly certain that if she can make it through tomorrow afternoon, she's going to be okay. If she doesn't make it, at least she's going to go comfortably instead of knee deep in her own shit. If she does make it, we're going to take her to a vet and see what we can do about her infected blind eye. They'll probably have to take it out, but we don't know yet. Everyone please pray for her.

On a happier note, I get to hang out with one of my friends I barely get to see during the school year this weekend Plus, I'm working a Haunted House this Halloween. I'm super excited. How is everyone else doing? What's going on in yalls lives?



UPDATE: If we can save Mama's feet, we can save her. If the farrier can't save her feet, then we're going to have to put her down....I'll update again once the farrier gets back in town and looks at her.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27548668/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27548668/ Fri, 02 Oct 2009 22:09:50 PDT
First came this morning, when I went to feed the horses. The Easy Jet mare I take care of, whom I call Mama, was down in her stall. I called out her name and she didn't respond in any way making me think she was dead. Scared to death, with my heart pounding, I ran all the way to the barn, threw open the door and ran into her stall calling out her name the whole time. Finally, she lifted her head and looked at me. Turns out, she was just laying down.


The second one, was when I went to feed tonight, I went down to feed the horses farthest from the barn, and the little paint stallion, Cajun, was loose. Which triggered the rapid beating heart again, and resulted in me running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to find him. I finally found him over by the mares. (Thank heavens he didn't break through the fence to them, I never would've caught him!) And I led him back to his stall with a bucket of feed. After finally getting him locked up back in his stall, my heart calmed down. However, I am afraid that the make-shift lock I made, won't hold. I hope he's not loose in the morning...

Other than that, I had a pretty uneventful day. Tried to go see Zombieland with but that fell through because it's rated R and she's 16. Stupid theaters. All the good movies are rated R and I can't see them with her because of the stupid rating and the stupid theaters and the stupid ages. Grr. Makes me wanna bite someone in the face. Rawr.

Well that's all about my day. How is everyone else?

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27224012/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/27224012/ Tue, 15 Sep 2009 09:07:54 PDT
Anywho, I did get my powerbox (its awesomeness. totally diff from my other one...) and my computer decided to start working! I'm slowly but surely making my way through all the deviations. I've been sitting here off and on for about 3 hours and I've already got it down to 3 messages and 1,308 deviations. I think I might finally get through them all by the time Christmas rolls around. lol

In other news, I'll probably be updating soon. I took a ton of pictures on the trip to take up to college...so yeah. Yay cornfields. *shootsself* lol XDD


What's up with all yall?


p.s. my fav quote this week is: Boom. Cow go dead.



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/26961194/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/26961194/ Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:04:30 PDT
Also, I made the stupid mistake of putting off going through all my deviations and messages. It's up to 971 deviations and 0 messages because i just went through all 65 of them. My computer is spazzing out though, so I can't go through my deviations at all. blehhh.

If you had left me a comment and I didn't respond, I'm terribly sorry, I was deleting ONE of them and my computer thought it'd be a good idea to delete ALL of them...so yeah. I should be updating soon, that is, if my sister gives me my camera back, because the card reader is broken. Or it just isn't working for me....come to think of it, that stupid thing never has liked me...hrmmm...


Well, until my computer gets over itself and decides to work, I shall make myself scarce. The pace at which the unchecked deviations are growing at is starting to scare me. So, farewell, I love you all, and I'll be back when my computer stops being stupid.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/26761284/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/26761284/ Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:15:52 PDT and took her up to college in Iowa and I miss my Thunderbird 8 so much!!! But she's all happeh and stuff so yeah.

Anywho, sorry for the late replies and all, I'm just now getting caught up...I still have 852 deviations to go through and 48 messages to reply too, but please bear with me. I will eventually reply to all of you, sorry for it taking so long!

What have yall been up to?

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25931495/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25931495/ Mon, 13 Jul 2009 22:27:20 PDT

Well, my life sucks. Again. It's in serious crap mode. I went to the doctor again today, about my shoulder, to see what my choices were to make sure it was all okay. Well, it's not very bright. The doctor thinks I'm going to have to have surgery on it. He wants me to stay on the medicine for another 2 months, but if I don't respond (I haven't been) to it by then, he's going to have to do surgery on it, which would mean, 6 weeks (or more) in a sling, then who knows how many months of healing and therapy to rebuild the muscles. So basically, I'm screwed.


I'm so sick of this. Everything I plan that I think might, just mightttt turn out alright, turns out really really badly. I need a vacation. BADLY. Like, a vaycay where I disappear off the face of the earth, and noone knows where. Then a few weeks later, I suddenly reappear.

I'm also taking yet ANOTHER medication for my shoulder now, for the pain. I hate pills. I'm so ready to destroy every pill I ever see again.



On other news, I sorted through all my comments, and replies, and deviations..or well, most of them. lol Sorry for the late replies. I've been rather busy.

In better news, Harry Potter comes out tomorrow night!! AHHHH I'm so excited!! XDD lol I promised my sister I'd go see it with her, but she's not feeling well, so I probably won't be able to see it. boo.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25576421/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25576421/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 21:22:55 PDT

I have a partially torn rotary cuff muscle in my right shoulder. Which means no using it. At all. They say it looks like a piece of the tear has healed itself though, so if the rest of it heals itself, I can pass on the surgery! YAYYYY. But if it doesn't heal by itself, then I'm going to have to have surgery on it to fix it. So yeah...it sucks....cause I STILL don't know how I tore the muscle.
I have an appt. with the doctor on the 13th I think to discuss my options for recovery. bleh.


It's been in the 100's almost all week and now that I'm home, I get to be in my room...with not A/C. woopidoo. shootmenowplz.

I guess that's all I have to say. Just thought I'd update yall.



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25438488/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25438488/ Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:44:18 PDT

Is when my beloved game comes out with the sequel. Watch this vid: [link]

TOTALLY BADASS. XDD I CANT WAIT.


But yeah, I'm back from being kidnapped by . XD I had tons of fun there. XDD


I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY GAME.


How is everyone else doing?


P.S. moodbar is messed up, my mood is EXCITED AND CRAZY

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25326599/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25326599/ Mon, 15 Jun 2009 10:42:52 PDT !! yay XD I'm happeh about that...


In other news, my doctors appt. was today, and I have to wear a sling for my right shoulder so I don't use it. I'm on some sort of anti-imflaitory and I have to have an MRI on it to make sure the Rotater Cuff Muscle isn't torn...or worse. =/ blahhhhh

This sucks. I NEED MY FREAKING SHOULDER BACK!

Well, in other good news, (ha.ha.ha.) I should be able to get my Xbox Live up next week or so! yayyyyy xD lol. I doubt I'll get it up. My mom is doing wayyy to much crap to help me get the lines put up and all. Oh well.

I did find out their making a second Left 4 Dead.
I'm oober excited about that!



And now, I must bid ye farewell and go on a road trip with one of my besties! Leave me messages and I'll answer when I can! Love yall! =]



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25127566/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/25127566/ Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:22:20 PDT
I got super busy with life, and I've just been able to go through all the deviations and messages these past few days, so if it took me awhile to answer you, SORRY! I didn't mean anything by it!

So yeah, as the title says, my right shoulder hates me. I'm going to see an orthopedist about it on the 15th, but I went to a chiropractor, and he usually says he can fix whatever is wrong with it but he says I have to see an orthopedist about it. yay. He also said it might be screwed up bad enough that I'll need surgery. I don't want surgery..needles scare me... Apparently I screwed it up with all the sports I played when I was younger...and they say sports are supposed to be good for you. SCREW THAT! ITS LIES!!!! The chiropractor also said that my shoulder is gonna hurt me when I'm older. It hurts me now. Forget when I'm older, I can't lift anything up, and I'm limited to how I can move it, I can't move it back and I can barely lift it up without pain shooting through it and making me wanna beat my head into a brick wall. =/

In other news, my sisters dog, Delilah, is back at our house, but she's having to sleep outside. It makes me feel kinda bad, but I'm not giving up the last few nights I have to sleep with my kitten before I go to spend a week with just to let Delilah sleep inside...bleh.

I also might get a job..but that's for another journal...

What is everyone doing for summer?

oh and p.s. This was from the late show last night with Conan...

In the year 3000, youtube, twitter, and facebook will merge together to form one massive time wasting website called: YouTwitFace.






]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/24741360/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/24741360/ Fri, 15 May 2009 13:08:38 PDT
Nothing much has happened...the only things that have are:

I got diagnosed with ADD yayyyy lol

I've been taking care of my sisters dog, Delilah, who's a great dane for a few weeks now.

I got to scare the kids next door because they were throwing giant rocks at Delilah and it pissed me off, then I went to tell their mother and she didn't like that they were throwing stuff at my dog. Who was in my yard. The rock was the size of both my fists COMBINED. I wanted to throw them back at the little kids and see how they liked it.

I'm going to start volunteering at a little animal shelter in a small town next to mine pretty soon. yayyyy


And that's about it. came over to play my new zombie apocalypse game Left 4 Dead. She's almost as good as me already and I've been playing it for WEEKS ON END. I hate that bitch...okay not really I love her, but it's annoying how good at video games she is. Srsly. just ask or

Anywho, yeah...ummm thats all I really have to say. Oh, and please join 's Jinx club! She's a hero/villan from Teen Titans. She's cool. Just join.






-edit-
OH MY GOD. one of my best friends apparently went to dallas on a school field trip and went to a Rangers game and GOT A SIGNED BASEBALL. It's only signed by 4 of the players, but WHO CARES IT IS SIGNED BY MLB PLAYERS. She's also saying that she might give it to me!


edit...again.

Tagged by:
1. Post these rules
2. Each tagged person must tell 8 things about themselves
3. At the end you have to tag 8 (ha ha hell no :sarcastic: ) people and post their icons in your journal
4. Then go back to their page with a comment saying you tagged them
5. No tag backs!

1. I'm an obsessive gamer!
2. I like Country Music. And Rock. And most genres of music. But not all.
3. I attack people who abuse animals. It's just an instinct I have. I will seriously go psycho Hanni... ]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23968268/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23968268/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:09:47 PDT

The horse that my sister bought for me, Rio, had her baby last night!! So expect pictures sometime in the near future! It's an adorable little black colt, with 3 socks. She put her pink sweatshirt on him this morning to keep him warm xD He's just cute as can be, he's very docile and loves people, I'm so excited! I'm worried about Rio though because when my sister got her, she was 300 lbs underweight and she's 26...so yeah. =/

I'm very excited about it though! Now Tonka (another pregnant horse my sister owns) needs to have her baby. She's freaking HUGE. XD

On another note, I started yet ANOTHER story, and I'm thinking about posting it on here, but I probably won't because I have a complex about posting my writing. So yeah..

I've gone back into my routine of watching movies a lot, and I'm running out of ones to watch :3

...I seriously need a life....>_<




~edit~

omg. i have glasses. O_O

i feel weird. i look odd with glasses.


i feel like a nerd. (no offense to people with glasses. i simply do not have the facial structure needed to look good with them.)





]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23718315/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23718315/ Sun, 15 Mar 2009 18:52:30 PDT You've somehow acquired a magical dimension-splicing conversion van and are planning an epic cross-country road trip with your friends and fandom. First, pick ten travel buddies from anywhere - real life, fiction, OCs, celebrities, whatever. Then answer these questions to see how cracktastic your adventure turns out to be.

1.
2.
3. Eragon (Inheritance Trilogy)
4.
5. Legolas (Lord of The Rings)
6.
7. Kristen (Harry Potter OC)
8. Fred & George Weasley (Harry Potter)
9. Keia (Naruto OC)
10.

((Let's say we rented a ginormus RV and are on a cross country tour of the US and it has tented windows.))

1. The GPS has an obnoxious voice. What does 9 (Keia) name it, & is 7 (Kristen) bothered by it?

Keia: What the crap. Can I stab it with a kunai?
Kristen: ....No. Name it.
Keia: I don't want to.
Kristen: So. Just name it.
Keia: Fine um...*thinks* KISAME!
Me: *stifles laugh*
Kisa: WHAT? NOOOO! HE DOES NOT SOUND LIKE THAT! *attacks Keia*
Keia: O_O uh-oh. *defends self*

2. 8 (Fred & George), 4 (Katie), 6 (gizbear), and 1 (Perforex) are all forced to share the cramped back row of seats. How do they arrange themselves?

Fred & George: I want to sit by her! *points at random person*
Perforex: I call the window seat! *throws self in seat*
Katie: um...I'm just gonna sit here. *sits down by george*
Gizbear: OH MY GAWD NO I GET THE SEAT BY GEORGE! *tackles katie*
Katie: ACK FINE FINE FINE! ...I'll just sit by Fred. *moves*
Gizbear: hehehehe *clings to George*
Fred: There's not room for all of us! Someone move! *sits down on top of people*
Me: AW SHUT UP PEOPLE!


3. 5 (Legolas) & 10 (Kisa) are sitting next to each other. Who gets the window seat?
Kisa: Oh I get window seat!
Legolas: No. I want the window seat.
Kisa: Who cares what you want? I GET the window seat. *sits*
Legolas: But, I'm an ELF! I can't not have the window seat!
Me: SHUT UP LEGOLAS! IF KISA WANTS THE WINDOW SEAT THEN SHE GETS THE DAMN WINDOW SEAT. *glare*
Fears & Gizbear: OH MY GOD WATCH THE ROAD!!!
Me: *swerves out of the way of an 18 wheeler just in time*

4. 3 (Eragon) & 4 (Katie) are invading each other's personal space. Who gets annoyed first & how do they deal with it?
Eragon: You're to close. Go away.
Katie: No way dude. I was here first. *stares*
Eragon: Um...ok...*scoots away*
Katie: *scoots closer* It's kind of hot in here. do you really need your shirt on?
Eragon: Uh...yes.
Me: NO YOU DON'T!
Fears: Just leave him alone. If he wants to keep his shirt on let him.
Me & Katie: TAKE IT OFF NOW!

5. What habit does 8 (Fred & George) have that might get on 2 (Fears)'s nerves?

Fred & George: *play the billionth joke that day on Fears*
Fears: Okay, that's enough. STOP.
Fred: Oh look! She's getting all serious!
George: Oh no! We better watch out Fred! *laughs hysterically with Fred*
Fears: *attacks*
Me: NO! DUN MESS UP MY FREDDIE-POO'S FACE!!
Giz: DON'T TOUCH GEORGE! *jumps into fight*
Me: *trying to fight and drive at the same time* STOP IT OR WE'RE GONNA WRECK!!!!!!
Everyone else: THE ROAD! WATCH THE ROAD!!!!!!

6. Who's more likely to start up a round of "99 Bottles", 1 (Trinity) or 7 (Kristen)?

Kristen: I'm bored. Can I use magic to entertain myself?
Me: NO. This is strictly a no-magic trip. *smirk*
Trinity: *sings* 99 bottles of fish on the wall...
Giz: ....it's beer. or pop. and it's on the floor. they wouldn't stick to the wall.
Me: NO 99 ANYTHING! *puts in Tokio Hotel CD* NOW LISTEN AND LIKE IT! *maniacal grin*

7. Would you trust 9 (Keia) or 10 (Kisa) to get behind the wheel for a while?
Keia: You drive really slow.
Me: I'm already going 5 miles over the speed limit.... ]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23498974/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23498974/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 21:51:02 PST
I get this face when I look at my drawings. As a result from that, I'm never posting my drawings, like EVER. at least not until they get betters. which will probably be like, never. lol


BAH. i can't go to dallas for at least a month because my uncles trip got canceled and yeah...


eh just needed to post SOMETHING to get that stupid journal off my page cuz every time i looked at it i got all sad again cuz i couldn't go up there...







I'm Mulan and Simba in the

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23327727/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23327727/ Sat, 21 Feb 2009 16:15:19 PST
I'm going to dallas for a week..or 2..or maybe a whole month! XD i get to stay with my Aunt and Uncle. So it's all good. I'll get to spend time with Sammy and hanging with my Aunt and stuff. ^_^ I'm so excited! Dunno will it'll be yet..just soon. I have to clean my room and get all my furniture placed and crap and then I get to go!


so uh...yeah. If I'm not answering messages everyday it's cuz I'm up there!





]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23298565/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23298565/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:42:35 PST


I mean, they're all 'open up to me, you can trust me, blah blah freaking blah' then all they do is bitch about how you're trying to 'shove all your problems on them' or that you need some kind of medicine because apparently your insane, or they come up with some excuse as soon as your about to open up to them like, they have to go feed their pet dinosaur or something. or worse yet, they DON'T EVEN LISTEN. I mean seriously people. WHAT THE HELL. You ask me to open up to you and then you just ignore me or turn your back on me? I'M SICK OF THIS. I quit. I'm sick of thinking things will get better. I'm sick of believing people can change; they DON'T.

and whats up with all the people that are like, 'oh my god, i don't like you doing that. stop now. because I said to.' NEWSFLASH BITCHES: I DON'T LIVE TO PLEASE YOU. so STFU and leave me alone.






GAH! I'm so angry...I just ajflsadjfl;kasjl;fksljgasjdlfjzdslfl;sa
I don't even know anymore. everything I was sure of, everyone I thought I could trust; I'm not sure of anymore, I don't think I can trust them...not after what this person did. I mean...I know its wrong to base all the ppl I trusted off of this one person, but damn. so many times. I'm just sick of it. I give up. I quit. I'm sick of hoping and wishing and praying and waiting for things to get better. all they've been doing is getting worse. and frankly, I'm sick and tired and fed up with it. I just ajgl;ksahflkadhfashfsaldhglksfj I NEED TO BLOW SOMETHING UP. or someone. that could work too. I just can't take all this anymore.


I don't really know who I am anymore...I've changed so much in just a week or two. I don't even know what I want anymore. I haven't touched or even looked at my camera in almost a month now. I feel no want to take photos or draw or do anything. all I do is listen to music and watch movies. I feel no need or want to eat. I only eat because my mom forces me too. and even then I only eat enough to sustain life. I don't even know why anymore. I just don't see a point in me being here. I feel that I have no reason anymore. I have no meaning. its a frightening feeling. but I just....I dont know anymore. I don't want anything, I don't feel a need for anything. I'm just....here.

I'm not gonna kill myself or anything..I've just..lost motivation. all I feel is anger, and emptyness, and....numbness.
I can't even cry anymore. I mean wtf. I used to cry over the stupidest things...now I just can't. the tears won't come. It's like they're all dried up or something. I just can't cry. I can't sleep either. I just lay on bed at night for HOURS just staring at the ceiling thinking. and the more I think, the less I feel, and the more I hate people and life itself. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?! Why have I become who I am?!?! HOW THE HELL DID I GET THIS WAY?!?!

I need answers, but I get are more questions.








people really suck.


















]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23254488/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23254488/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 14:10:45 PST

Things have been getting a little bit better..but eh. I've been reading the Eragon series thing. It's pretty good....


haven't had any motivation for photos for quite awhile so don't expect anything anytime soon...umm i might be leaving in a few weeks. I'll just go M.I.A. so if I do just disappear suddenly, that's why. It's nothing tragic like I died or something. But yea...



ummm I think that's all I had to say..nothing much has changed. Went through my Grandpa's house to finish clearing everything out because we have to sell it...got what I wanted and what he gave me years ago that we'd never picked up. Had to fight for it though...but I got it. I would've killed if I hadn't. I didn't get he gold and silver bars I was supposed to though. All of his gold and silver bars were supposed to be split up between me and my 2 sisters to help us pay for college and the such. But yeah...

Found an awesome dude who makes all the music himself with his computer: Nickasuar!
check out his songs:
Imperfect
Rocketships & Radio's
and
Love at First Sight

they're awesome. XD



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23010188/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/23010188/ Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:46:14 PST
it was worse than i imagined.
he didn't even look like my Grandpa...
not that anyone cared what i thought.


i just don't care anymore.

about ANYTHING.

i feel.....




empty.



25 Things
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. i tag whoever wants to do this.


1. I love XXX Vitamin water. It's all I ever want to drink.

2. I still sleep with a teddy bear - every night. it makes me feel not-so-alone.

3. You'll rarely see me without my headphones on. I'm ALWAYS listening to music.

4. I love reading. I read TONS of books. I never get tired of it.

5. I don't like my family. Actually, I borderline HATE them. All of them.

6. I write. A LOT. I have at least 15 stories going right now. And tons of poems noone will ever see.

7. I want a puppy more than anything else in the world. more precisely a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

8. I think it'd be easier to be emotionally detached. then i wouldn't have to feel this pain.

9. Lately, I've only felt pain. It's a constant now.

10. I don't believe in myself at all. I never have.

11. I've always felt pushed to the side, and sort of ignored by my family; I've only realized lately, that it's true. The only ones who didn't push me aside were my Aunt Leta and my Grandma and Grandpa...and now their dead.

12. I don't even know who I am anymore...

13. I feel unimportant because when I speak, no one listens.

14. I'm slowly slipping back into a dark place that I was in years ago. I never wanted to go back.

15. Sometimes, I doubt that there's a God...but then I remember the few good people placed in my life and realize that there must be one. Then I feel bad for doubting Him.

16. I need to escape, and I have needed to for about 5 months now. But noone listens to me because my sisters come first.

17. Sometimes, I think the only ones in this house that care about me, are my pets.

18. I hate the way I look because it reminds me of my mom and Grandma. I like the fact I look like my Grandma, but I absolutely loathe the fact that I resemble my mother.

19. I cry myself to sleep every night. I've done so for the last 4 years. No matter what I do, I can't stop the tears.

20. I wish my family would stop putting on the charade of liking me around other people. It's like their completely different when someone else is around.

21. Music has saved my life more than once.

22. My only goal in life, is to survive long enough to escape this hell.

23. I have a hard time trusting people because of my family. Everyone I've ever trusted has hurt me. So to me, trust=hurt.

24. I take pictures because they make me feel less miserable.

25. If I was given the chance to live or die, I have no idea which one I'd choose. I'd want death because I'd get to be with the only family that ever loved me. But I'd also want to live so I wouldn't have to leave my friends.



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22955363/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22955363/ Mon, 02 Feb 2009 00:31:07 PST
My Grandpa, my hero, my superman, my lighthouse in the storm of life, my rock, my protector, and the only one who truly understood me without me having to say a word, died on February 1st at 4:28 am. I was sitting on the bed by him, holding his hand in mine, keeping it warm. He passed peacefully and is in a better place now.

A huge commotion happened in his room at hospice because of my Aunt S. (thats all i'm saying so i don't learn to hate that name; she was his daughter). Prepare yourself for the story.

I was sitting on my Grandpa's bed in his room at hospice ALL day. My momma was there, and my cousin Larry and his wife, and their daughter. My Aunt S came too later in the day. As the day dragged on into night, my nerves became shot as did everyone elses because my Aunt S. has mental illnesses and is basically a bitch. I got maybe a total of 5 hours of sleep (and that's pushing it) ever since he was moved into hospice (which was on Wednesday or Thursday (i forget..my days are all scrambled now) so yeah...not much sleep) because I slept up there and woke up every hour when a nurse came in or when he stopped breathing for a moment (he had sleep apnea (you stop breathing in your sleep) plus his body was shutting down so it was hard for him to breathe right.)

Well, as the night drew on, and my Grandpa became paler and paler and started decreasing rapidly, and we became positive that it was going to be the last night so we all stayed with him. My momma started crying seeing him that way (it was very hard. he had always been so strong, he was always (and always will be) our superman) and my Aunt S (being the stupid mean bitch she is) asked why my mommy was crying. I gave her a 'because her daddy is dying DUH' look to her and glanced at my grandpa, to which her response was, "She shouldn't be upset. It's not like he's her father." And gave me a 'you don't even belong here look' which she had been giving me everytime she came up there (I never left because we didn't know when he was going to go and I was going to be there for him when he went. I owed it to him, and it was the least I could do for him.)Which pissed me off beyond belief, because even though he was technically her step-dad he had been her daddy since she was 15. He had accepted her as his child and loved her as if she were his own whether his blood flowed through her veins or not. Then she had to give me that look, which I finally understood the meaning too. I belonged there more than even she did because, even though she was his child, she pissed him off so much he wanted to kill her sometimes. I was his last grandchild (all the others are older or great-grandchildren) and he always called me his grandbaby. He loved me just as much as I loved him and he would've wanted me to be there. There are very few memories I have of my childhood that he isn't in. When she tried to insinuate that I didn't belong there, I was barely able to restrain myself from decking her in the face.

Now, when I'm angry, I do not cry. I don't really do anything except look angry or scream at whoever I am angry at. However, I could not scream because I was in Hospice and my grandpa didn't deserve to have a fight happen in his room which is why I did not deck her right then and there. However, she made me so angry at all the crap she was saying and doing towards me and my mom, I started shaking. A lot. I was shaking so bad I couldn't even take a drink of water. Then I started crying it made me so mad. My mom didn't know what was wrong, because when I cry, I do not shake. I was not cold (i was under 3 blankets because the heat in the room was broken so she knew i was warm) She could tell I was angry because of the way I was clenching my jaw and the look in my eyes. She was worried so she came over to me and asked me what was wrong. I was positive at this point, that if I spoke, I would end up cussing her out using words that even a sailor would blush at hearing, so I just shook my head and glance in my Aunt S.'s direction. My mom understood and so did my cousin, Larry, and he asked her to take a walk with him so she could smoke(this was amazingly nice for him to do because she was his birth mom but abandoned him and he can't stand her; my grandpa raised him since he was 7 years old.) She of course, accepted (anything to smoke and play the 'I'm such an amazing mommy' card she always tries to pull. its bullshit. no one falls for it.)As soon as they left the room, I gave myself a moment to calm down, then told my mom everything that she said that had pissed me off so badly, while I still had tears running down my face. My mom was afraid to hug me because when I get to a certain point of angry-ness, you do not touch me, if you do, i hit you-hard. Most people who know this have learned this from experience. Hearing what she had said made my mom even angrier than she already wa... ]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22848107/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22848107/ Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:43:02 PST
This weekend, my Grandpa was admitted to the hospital in the ICU unit because the nursing home he had been put in (the 'best' one in our town) had starved and dehydrated him and he was in there to recover from breaking his back; instead of recovering, they tried to freaking KILL HIM. What the hell?!?! Then I get news that's he's probably going to get better, so I cheer up right? WELL I WAS WRONG.

Now their saying that he's not going to recover 100% (never expected him too) but he's probably not going to be able to talk, or feed himself, or anything so basically he's gonna be a vegetable with a little more control and stuff. His talking, will be groaning and lips moving. So my Aunt's who are the power of attorney are like, 'well let's just go on and stop treatment and let him die' or some crap and I can't go see him because I'm freaking SICK.

Beside's that, my dad is being an even worse father than normal, my sister still want's to get rid of my cat, and a cousin's husband is missing and is probably going to die in the ice-storm that's coming this way.

On the upside, two of my cousins are having babies. again. So people keep telling me to smile and crap cuz good stuff is happening to me.


How is all of that amassed crap good again?



now tell me again why I should smile?




(I don't want anyone's sympathy. I wrote this to vent. I don't want anyone to be all, 'ohmigawd your life is so horrible, you should just commit suicide.' or anyone to be all 'ohmigawd, i feel so bad for you, here have a zillion hugs *spams with hug emotes' I just wanted to vent. Sorry if I come off as a bitch, I don't mean too.. but yeah..)





Life's a bitch, because if it were easy, it'd be a slut. --Me.




EDIT:

Thank God! My cousin has been found! He's okay and is back home safely.

EDIT AGAIN:

My Grandpa isn't going to make it. His kidney's are failing, he has a staff infection on top of the other infection, he had a heart attack and all this other crap. He just can't make it...I'm not ready to let go of him...I'm just not..




]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22597684/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22597684/ Thu, 15 Jan 2009 14:44:51 PST

i tag: and on all of them! bahahahaha xD

i yall ^_^

oh and anyone else that want's to do them...

Rules: Go through 15 songs on your MP3 player or whatever music thing you got to listen to and after every title put "in my pants"

1)Butterfly Kisses in my pants...(oh geez...)

2)Ohio (Come Back to Texas) in my pants (i got some big pants..lol)

3)On The Edge in my pants (...no comment.)

4)Stop & Stare in my pants (...omg..)

5)Online in my pants (lmao)

6)Concrete Angel in my pants (WTFFFFF lmao)

7)Riot in my pants (oh yes...lol)

8)This Woman Needs in my pants (OMG NOOOOOOOO!!)

9)I Love You This Much in my pants (......oh geez..)

10)Slow Fade in my pants (bahahaha

11)You're Gonna Miss This in my pants (yes, yes you will. )

12)Something More in my pants (O.o o.O what???)

13)Nobody's Listening in my pants (i think thats good....)

14)My Boo in my pants

15)Listen With Your Heart in my pants (omgwtf.)

Next one. Pick five of your favourite songs and post links to them on youtube
[link] I like the song...the video is very weird though...

[link] you know you like it

[link] very good song.

[link] Another good song ^^

[link] i blame my sister for this one.


Stolen from: (just like all the others xD)
[ ] my fingernails/toenails are almost always painted
[x] during the summer the only shoes i wear are flip flops.
[x] my favorite toys as a child were barbies
[x] my favorite colour is pink or purple... I like purple.
[ ] I did Gymnastics
[x] I love skirts
[ ] hollister is one of my favorite places to shop
[ ] tight jeans are the only jeans i'll wear
[x] I love chocolate
[x] I've never had a real job

TOTAL: 6

[x] my hair is almost always straightened
[x] I have at least 8 myspace pictures
[ ] I usually go shopping once a week
[ ] I love to hang out at the mall with friends.
[ ] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace or earings
[x] I've gone to a tanning salon
[ ] I've gone to... ]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22534544/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22534544/ Sun, 11 Jan 2009 21:46:08 PST
HOKAY, so we have...

UPDATES!

I'm offically 17 and all that useless crap, anywho what i got:

A BRAND NEW CAMERA THAT IS AWESOMENESS IN ITSELF!!!!!

and a shirt, fingerless gloves, a cd, a gryffindor cloak, my very own Jaspy paper child!!! , and other stuff i love ^_^

expect updates from me

and uh, i finally got my compy fixed! yay!


how are all my lovies doing?



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22459806/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22459806/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 19:47:02 PST
woohoo.

17. yay. *is so not excited*

but i get to hang with friends. so i guess that's a plus...

blah. i want a puppy.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22178185/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/22178185/ Wed, 24 Dec 2008 23:03:06 PST
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

I love ya'll (...okay, only you....and you...and you..no not you, i don't know you...but you..and you...) xD





]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21923886/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21923886/ Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:14:23 PST
I'm doing better...

Aniversary of my Grandma's death is coming up. 2 years on the 19th.

then on the 20th Christmas in Dallas! yayyyy lol

then...i dunno...


my birthday is soon! YAY January needs to hurry up and get here! lol xD

so uh yea, how's everyone else's lives going?




]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21923864/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21923864/ Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:12:13 PST 's journal and I wanted to do it. Any problems about that? Let's see what I am if I'm not human.

Vampire
[x]You like blood. (yeah, it’s pretty cool)
[ ]You are sexy/handsome. (I don't follow sterotypes)
[x]You like the color black.
[ ] You sleep in a coffin. (not yet, but when I die…
[x]You hate the sunlight. (too bright, too burning)
[]You hate garlic.
[]Sharp wood scares you
[ ]You don't have a reflection(I don't like looking in the mirror but the reflection's still there I bet)
So far- 3

Werewolf
[x]You like the full moon.(So pretty)
[x]You like meat.
[ ]You're very fast
[] Pure silver hurts you.
[x]You love wolf stuff.(I love animals period)
[x]People have called you a animal.(not my fault socity thinks they're so civil)
[]You wake up with your clothes ripped.
So far- 4


Ghost
[ ]You're dead.
[ ]You go phase though things.(nope. but my body sometimes thinks it can. CRASH! oops...theers a wall there..my bad..)
[x]You moan alot(only about the things I don't want to do)
[x]You're here for a reason.
[ ]You're invisible.
[x]You're Very Pale.( I'm an indoor person)
So far- 3

Sea monster
[x]You love water.
[ ]You have scales.
[x]You like to eat fish.
[ ]You can breathe underwater.
[ ]You have webbed feet/hands.
[x]You swim fast.
So far- 3

Mummy
[ ]You have rotten skin.
[ ]Your body parts keep falling off.
[x]Humans scare you. (Some humans… I just don’t like socializing for the most part, humans are so hard to understand)
[x]You're wrapped up in cloth.(I like it warm. I always so cold)
[ ]You stink.
[ ]You're a dead king
So far- 2


Witch
[x]You have a cat.(actually, i have 4 cats.)
[ ]You have a big black pot.
[x]You make up words to make magic.
[ ]You have a flying broom.
[x]You like to cackle.
[x]You like apples.
So far- 4


so apparently im a witchy werewolf like fears! awesome..xD




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tagged by:

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE,
WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?


1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.





Opening Credits:
-Gretchen Wilson - Homewrecker
(omg...wtf.)


Waking Up:
-Jonas Brothers - I Gotta Find You
(...no comment.)


First Day At School:
-Tanya Tucker - Two Sparrows In A Hurricane
(omg...i dun like this movie!!!)

Falling In Love:
-Audioslave - Be Yourself
(damn straight. lol)


During a sex scene, you scream:
-Emerson Drive - I Should Be Sleeping
( WTF!!! LMAO!!! omg!)


Fight Song:
-Holly Dunn - Daddy's Hands
(what a fluff fight song. THIS SUCKS!)


Breaking Up:
-Decyfer Down - Here To You
(uhh...ok...)


After getting drunk you say:
-Jonas Brothers - That's Just The Way We Roll
(i say this all the time anyway..lol)


Prom:
-Josh Turner - Angels Fall Sometimes
(crap. this isn't good.)


At your speech after you become prom queen/king you say:
-Cascada - I Miss You
(........wtf.)




Life's OK:
-Third Day - I Can Feel It
(uhh...yay?)


Mental Breakdown:
-Akon - Mr. Lonely
(lmao. weird.)


Driving:
-Miley Cyrus - Wake Up America
(wtf. i don't get that!)


Flashback:
-Jimmy Wayne - I Love You This Much
(awww....appropriate for what I've been through..)


Getting Back Together:
-Relient K - Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
(lawl.)


Wedding:
-Miley & Billy Ray Cyrus - Stand
(.....wtf. just wtf.)


Birth of Child:
-Casting Crowns - Every Man
(wtf. OMG. THESE MAKE NO SENSE!!!!)


Paying the Dues:
-Martina McBride - Wild Angels
(hahahah xD)


Your deepest secret:
-... ]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21836869/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21836869/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:52:38 PST
So I'm not gonna be around for awhile most likely.

Poor kibbles is lost without her, they've never been apart. It's sad watching him...


Anyway...yeah...I'm depressed majorly and probably won't upload anything for months. Even though I have pictures I need to upload...I don't feel like it. She's in over half of them, so that's why I'm not gonna upload them...every time I see them or think of her, I cry. so yeah....


later.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21520232/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21520232/ Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:33:13 PST

is amazing. mhmm mhmm she's made my life brighter this past month or so. I WUBBA YOU!!


& are also really really amazing and have helped me cheer up too. I love yall!

i also got the new Taylor Swift CD Fearless and it is AMAZING! OMG I LOVE IT!



so uh yea...xD

how's everyone else doing?





]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21438781/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21438781/ Tue, 11 Nov 2008 13:24:41 PST
Everytime I turn around, something bad has happened to one of my friends or someone I watch here on dA. WTF is wrong with the world?!?!?!










comsic trashcans suck.





]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21265045/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21265045/ Sat, 01 Nov 2008 12:38:36 PDT

I know you prolly don't wanna hear about it all so I'll post whats bugging me now.

1.) My plans KEEP getting screwed up and I end up with nothing to do.
2.) I was SUPPOSED to be able to talk to Tokio Hotel but my mother decides that I don't need to have that luxury (the luxury of talking to my freaking idols? WTF)so she didn't bring me home in time.
3.) One of my best friends got kicked out of her house and can't get any of her stuff until Sunday.
4.) My sisters have cosmic trashcans falling on their heads too and I sorta feel responsible for it.
5.) Another one of my friends keeps texting me, and it seems kind of like she's being abused but I'm not sure..and she doesn't have any details...she doesn't even know where she is...so I'm sorta freaking out.
6.) If a guy likes you...why can't he just tell you?



and that's what's bugging me right now...plus a million other things. Life hates me right now...

Halloween was pretty fun though..got to meet and she is freakin' COOL! xD



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21017528/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/21017528/ Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:02:15 PDT [Also, you can give me a letter in return, just for fun ^^]
Well, you can actually write those things down in your comment after you get a letter from me. As you wish, not forcing you :3

My letter: R! Gotten from

1. Rain
2. Rock n Roll (music. of course xD)
3. Running (depending on the mood. usually when I'm angry)
4. Rebelling (tis fun my loves.)
5. Robots (specifically Transformers! xD)
6. Roses
7. Reading (hellz yes. tis the best...or well almost xD)
8. Ranches (yes. cowboys and horses. *heaven*)
9. Rodeos (even more cowboys and horses. *more heaven* xD)
10. Radios. (yay music!)

I Got Z from:

1. Zebras (they are awesome)
2. Zoo's (yup. their pretty wicked xD)
3. zakuska (its snacks. xD)
4. zappy things (it means lively; entertaining)
5. zari (Indian gold and silver brocade)
6. zazzy stuff (meaning: flashy; stylish)
7. zendik (magicians they are WICKED)
8. zeppole (variety of doughnuts YUM)
9. zingaro (cuz gypsy's are cool.)
10. zizel (chipmunk OMG I LOVE THEM! they be so cute xD)
numbers 3-10 courtesy of: [link]


andd another:

Stolen from

***

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are liars.


I Fear…

[ ] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[x] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[X] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants

Total so far: 2

[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[ ] deep water [[it depends on whether or not I can see the bottom...]]
[x] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[x] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[x] rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow

Total so far: 5

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[x] crossing hanging bridges [[any bridge really..i hate them.]]
[ ] death
[ ] heaven
[x] being robbed
[ ] falling
[x] clowns [[i was fine with them till i had to watch IT with my dad when i was 5.]]
[ ] dolls
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes

Total so far: 9

[ ] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[x] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[x] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[x] becoming blind
[x] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up

Total so far: 14

[x] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[x] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[x] falling in love
[ ] super secrets

Final Total: 17

... if you wish to post this in your journal, it's been requested that you title it I'm afraid of _ out of 72 common fears...

http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20895801/ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 19:01:45 PDT

so uh...I'm going to be taking more pictures soon and they should be up whenever I take them which will be...idk when. xD


get to hang with this weekend! YAY!!! xD

um, thats all. Love ya'll!

*i still need a subscription!
**oh, and who thinks I should post more of my poems? I have a few...I dunno if I should post them or not..so just, like, let me know if you think I should! Thanks!



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20879713/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20879713/ Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:47:34 PDT
So all besties are amazing, right? WRONG. My besties are amazingly beyond infinitely amazing!

Well all of them have my secrets. 4 of them know my crush. ONE of them, got his number. AND has me hanging out with him this weekend. She is the best. Like, seriously. I wish I could hug attack people through the computer. Cuz I would totally do that. XD

Not that I'm saying my other besties aren't as amazing. Because they so totally are, but she got his number for me. I mean wtf, she just randomly texts me "so, yea, i got *insert crushes name here*'s number for ya. ' and I was like *heartattack*

yup, suddenly, I didn't feel so sick anymore! I HAVE HOPE!!! I love all my besties. And my friends. Hugs and cookies for everyone!!!

p.s. Sorry for the journal spammage xD

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20873787/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20873787/ Thu, 09 Oct 2008 10:21:59 PDT

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE,
WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?


1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.





Opening Credits:
- Savin' Me - Nickelback

ohhh who's saving me?? or am i saving someone? I GOTTA KNOW!!!!


Waking Up:
- The Circle Of Life - Lion King Theme Song

uhh....sure. lol xD


First Day At School:
- Soulmate - Natasha Bedingfield

...i find my soulmate on my first day at school? HOT DANG! I'LL STAY! LOL XD


Falling In Love:
- Coming Clean - Tamara Bedricky

uhh...ok?


During a sex scene, you scream:
- G.N.O. (Girls Night Out) - Miley Cyrus

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!


Fight Song:
- Soldiers Side - System of a Down

wow...that fits...oddly.


Breaking Up:
- Run Away Love - Ludacris ft. Mary J. Blige

wow...just..wow. *ish speechless* xD


After getting drunk you say:
- Soldier - Destiny's Child

sureeeeee


Prom:
- Go On, Go On, Leave Me Breathless - Shania Twain

...i hope that means that it'll be amazing...>_>


At your speech after you become prom queen/king you say:
- Hollow - Submersed

..well that can't be good.


Life's OK:
- When Boy Meets Girl - Terry Clark

I guess that means I'm in love, so life has to be ok?


Mental Breakdown:
- Chattahoochee - Alan Jackson

hahahaha yay!! when i have a mental breakdown i get a vacation! xD


Driving:
- Siberia - Backstreet Boys

...wow, just...wow. *has no comment*


Flashback:
- Swing - Trace Adkins

ok? i guess i'm having a flashblack to my softball years..xD


Getting Back Together:
- Dirty Little Secret - All American Rejects

hahahahaha xD


Wedding:
- When The Sun Goes Down - Kenny Chesney ft. Uncle Kracker

...nighttime wedding? WICKED!!!!!


Birth of Child:
- Time Machine - Click Five

hahahaha xD


Paying the Dues:
- Leave The Pieces - The Wreckers

it fits! OMG IT FITS!!! *is shot*


Your deepest secret:
- She's My Kind Of Rain - Tim McGraw

OMFG IM A LEZZIE?!?!?!?! HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW THIS?!?!?!


Night Before War:
- Alright - Saving Jane

ok..


Final Battle:
- Down In Mississippi Up To No Good - Sugarland

oh yes. xD


Moment of Triumph:
- Imperfection - Saving Jane

hell yea! XD I'm not perfect but my imperfections are better than yours!!! xD


Death Scene:
-... ]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20845332/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20845332/ Sun, 05 Oct 2008 16:03:22 PDT
I'm not gonna feature for awhile because well I don't really have a reason, other than the fact that I'm just plain lazy. I finally got started on the cosplay outfits for me and my friends! woohoo! lol

I just need material.
and measurements.
and patterns.
and thread
and all the other stuff I need to make the outfits.
xD

but yea...

met a new guy...i'm crushing hopelessly on him. GAH MY FEELINGS SUCK.

but he's tall, and has pretty eyes...and BAH SOMEONE SHUT ME UP! lol xD

laters!



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20660409/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20660409/ Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:56:33 PDT
i need a dAmn subscription. Any offers for a gift one? xD jk but yea...just check out these peoples galleries.

I love the deviation The Path by her. She has some pretty cool pictures.

He has to have some of the best animal and landscape pictures I have EVER seen. Over half of my wishlist is his stuff. xD Check him out.

Okay, now this chick is just plain awesome. She has a little bit of everything in her gallery. Shes wicked cool, and super nice, so check out her gallery and leave her a few comments

and last but not least....

He's pretty wicked too. Has some freakin' amazing pictures, plus he's super cool & nice. So yea, check out his gallery too!


that's all the features for this journal, i'll put up 4 more next time!

p.s. please hope/pray/whatever you do for my momma, she's been exposed to TB (tuberculosis) and she might have it, if she does then I might. So pray/hope/whatever it is you do that she doesn't! Thanks!

Clubs:



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20629093/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20629093/ Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:10:05 PDT

Dear

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it that night in your apartment and I saw you sit on the crazy monk. I'm sure you;re scarred enough to understand that we're cousins. I'm returning your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I have always felt dirty before the incarnation as an eskimo.

Good luck on your short term leave from jail,
Disappear

I tag:




anddd


How to do it:
RULES:
Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mong... ]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20513530/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20513530/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 21:03:58 PDT and I didnt notice how much i was ranting until today..


ANYWHO, um I lived through Ike! WOOT! um yea...the front of my shed caved in though and i lost like almost all of my work from when i was little kid...like my pictures i drew of 'diney word' a.k.a. disney world. xDD I was dumb little kid..but um anyway...yea...I almost got blown away though cuz i went outside to find my kitty cat and the wind was like *woosh* and i was like *flail* and then my cat was like *meow* and i was like *flying through the air*

it was epic.

but i made it back inside alive.
only to have the power turn off and my corner of woe turn even blacker than ever. xDD


but um yea...wow freaky i just realized im listening to the same song right now as i was when i posted the last journal O_o o_O odd.....


So um..yea..thats it i believe...

thank you for listening to my useless words which are a waste of oxygen..except their typed..so their more like a waste of energy...or um yea whatever. xDD

CLUBIE CLUB CLUB CLUBS!!!



]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20464655/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20464655/ Sat, 13 Sep 2008 01:06:28 PDT

oh and I fixed iTunes and my iPod, so now its registering that it's connected. XDD yayness.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20396876/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20396876/ Mon, 08 Sep 2008 18:38:18 PDT

I'm baaaccckkkk =] hehe xD My computer finally got fixed, it still won't register my iPod is connected though *emoness* oh well...uh I'm editing some of my new photos right now, so expect them to be up soon. yayness lol

So, uh, I just wanted to let ya'll know that..so yea.

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20222266/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20222266/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 16:36:06 PDT
So i'm not gonna be on for awhile, but I does have good news!!!

I FOUND A CAMERA!! XDD so new piccys

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20187035/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20187035/ Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:33:57 PDT
Its really annoying and I keep trying to touch up a few photos to post and it won't let me open them in it cuz of the effing ram. I'd use my laptop, but it's broken and my sister stole the Photoshop cd. So it doesn't have it on there. HASL;GHLAKSHFLKSADJFLKSDJFLADSJL;F

My computers hate me. My phone does too.

Not only is the computer screwed up, my Ipod keeps skipping songs which is really annoying, and the air conditioner isn't working like it should and my kitten won't get out of my lap so I'm like, burning up and it's really uncomfy and I hate this.

I also ran out of contacts a few days ago so I've been practically blind for a few days, but wal-mart finally got my prescription in so now I can cept, one of the lenses is scratched and I can't throw it away for another half week or I'll have one contact in my left eye and none in my right so I'll have half-vision.

I also lost the password to my drivers-ed account so I can't work on that, and my stupid homeschool crap keeps getting messed up and the tv in the living room wont work and my ps2 tried to break yesterday.

..We're also out of food. I got hungry and all we have is heat up quesadillas [case-uh-dill-uhs XD] and little pizza things. and popsicles. I'm eating all the popsicles. I'ma get fat. >_>



I think that's all I have to rant about right now. So uh...sorry for spamming my journals on yall. I just had to get all that out...

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20173479/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20173479/ Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:14:13 PDT
Should I post some of my poems on here for ya'll to read? Or no?


just a simple yes or no will do, but if ya wanna tell me why I'd love to hear it So uh, sorry for the journal spamming lately...XD






oh and && I'm taking the game off of my journal so it's not a death trap anymore XDD hahahah...crap. i just lost the game. GAH! roflcopter XD

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20155795/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20155795/ Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:38:32 PDT Life hates me....

Rules:
1: List the names of the bands that you think fit into the following categories.
2: Five bands per category, a few more or less is fine.
3: Tag 3 people when you're done.

BANDS/MUSICIANS I LIKE.
1: Jonas Brothers
2: Reliant K
3: Skillet
4: The GooGoo Dolls
5: Breaking Benjamin

BANDS/MUSICIANS I HATE/DISLIKE.
1: Hawthorne Heights
2: Marylin Manson
3: 50 cent
4: Soulja Boy
5: Snoop Dog


BANDS/MUSICIANS PEOPLE THINK I WOULD LIKE BY LOOKING AT ME.
1: Jonas Brothers
2: Miley Cyrus
3: Gwen Stefani
4: Christina Aguleria
5: Britney Spears


BANDS/MUSICIANS I LIKE THAT I SHOULDN'T/AM ASHAMED TO LIKE. (I'm not really ashamed to like anything)
1: Miley Cyrus
2: Eminem
3: Backstreet Boys
4: Akon
5: Tupac

taggin!


]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20138564/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20138564/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:57:09 PDT
200: My name is: Idnarb.
198. I am a: ...person? lol
197. I'm in love with: animals, writing, music, reading, and other fun stuffs.
196. My eye color is: really dark brown.
195. My shoe size is: 8-8.5
194. My ring size is: 6
193. What is your Favorite Color: PURPLE!! ..and blurple. [a blueish purply color]
192. My height is: 5'2
191. I am allergic to: my kitties *emo*
190. I live in: my own little world...oh i mean a house. XDD
189. The last book I read: im still reading Breaking Dawn cuz i'ma loser and got mad at it and didnt read it for like, a month and now im stalling cuz it made me mad again.
188. My bed time is: i dont got one.
187. First Screen name?: KeikoRocks ...i was a free willy freak, what can i say?
186. Current Screen name: xExplosiveMusicx Disappear Forever DREbrokenAMS
179. My fa;vorite Holiday: Christmas
178. The perfect kiss is: from someone you love.
177. The last three cd's i have listened to are: A Little Bit Longer (Jonas Brothers) Mhmm (Reliant K) and Breaking Benjamin (i dunno the name of the cd =/)
172. My most treasured possession(s) is(are): my stuffed animals: Teddy, Sneaky, Carmel, and BunBun (don't you dare laugh, i'll go on your ass!) my pets, my writing, and my book collection! (including my bible and devotional book!)and um my Ipod, and all my other good stuff i couldn't live w/o. XDD
170. What did you do last night: um..play games..cuddle with kibbles and bits and cried myself to sleep. (do not as why. i'm not telling.)
167. My skin's reaction to the sun is (tan/burn): burn, then quickly turn into a tan with minimal peeling. I LOVE MY SKIN!!! XDD

I Do/Do Not Believe In:

143. Santa: he's my home skillet, yo.
142. Love αt First Sight: no.
141. Luck: in a way.
140. Fαte: Yes
139. God: YESNESS! ...simply because there is no other way to put it. XDD
138. Aliens: not really.
137. Heαven: yes
136. Hell: yes
135. Ghosts: Yes, but i call them spirits, cuz ghosts are scary...spirits aren't as bad..least i let myself think that XDD
134. Horoscopes: lmao. they make me laugh. (in case you didn't catch that, its a no.)
133. Soul mαtes: idk bout this one yes..

Which is Better?:

129. Hugs or Kisses: Huggles!!!
128. Drunk or High: Neither
127. Phone or online: Online.
126. Red heαds or Brown hαir: brown hair.
125. Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes!
124. Tuna or peaαut butter αnd jelly? depends on my mood, but usually, most of the time, pretty much always, my daddy's tuna XD
123. Pool or dαrts: pool, i don't completely suck at it XD
122: Sci-fi or horror? either.
121: Boys or girls: to date? boys. to be besties with? girls.
120. Night or Dαy: night. its when the sadistic hoe named the inspiration fairy attacks. plus the stars are out and i like looking at them twinkling in the sky ^_^
119. Orαnges or Apples: PLUMS AND PEACHES!!! XDD
118. Curly or Strαight hαir: either. i like both XDD

Whαt comes to your heαd?:

117. Scary: NOT THE CLOWNS!!!! *runs away screaming bloody murder*
115. Bαckstαbbers: should be tortured.
114. Pαrents: mommy and daddy!
110. School: boringggggg.

Lαst time?:

109. Kissed someone: quite a while ago.
108. Thought of someone: two seconds ago.
107. Touched someone: like, an hour ago.
106. Told someone you loved them: a few hours ago. i my daddy! =]
105. Hαd someone αsk you out: umm...a few weeks ago?
104. Hαd someone αsk you to come over: um, a few hours ago...
103. Missed someone: all the freakin' time.
102. Hugged someone: earlier today
101. Seen someone you hαven't seen in a while: this morning.
100. Hαd someone get upset with you?: every second of every damn day.

MISC.:

90. Who's the ditziest person you know: FeFe Rum.(me and fefe XDD)
89. Who mαkes you lαugh the most: ray-bear, fefe, and myself.
87. One thing I'm mαd αbout right now: my stupid computer d... ]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20103759/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/20103759/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 21:09:52 PDT well..I'll do some useless crap later. love yall!

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/19974130/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/19974130/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 16:43:29 PDT
this is a useless journal entry.

just letting you know that I'm not gonna be around much these days. too busy trying to solve some of my problems and trying to escape from others.

So uh..I'll answer comments and stuff whenever I get on..but I wont be on much..so yea..

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/19760945/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/19760945/ Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:13:27 PDT
who you might ask? why the evil bugs of course.

In the past half hour,I have been attacked by:
a giant waterbug/roach
a giant ant/fly thing [I couldn't figure out what it was]
6 flies
a bazillion gnats
and various other unmentionables [basically I have no idea what they were...]

[WARNING: This is gonna be a longgggg journal. Brace Yourselves.]

Anywho, yes the buggies are taking over the world, so get your bugspray/bugkiller ready. I have to wait for my parentals to wake up..which could take awhile. I HATE BUGS!!!!

*cough* Ahem, sorry about that. Anywho...I went to the midnight release of Breaking Dawn with Raybear, Chas, Tiff, and Erica. They be my new fwiends...well some of them anyway. XD As many of you know, Breaking Dawn is the newest book in the Twilight series and it has offically pissed me off.

So yea...um lots of crap going on...old wounds opened; new wounds made, and I've discovered peices of who I'm becoming. One of my best friends just lost her Grandmother, which brought a fresh wave of pain from the loss of my own Grandmother and Great Aunt about a year and a half ago...I know I'm kinda pathetic for it being so long and me still not being over losing them, but I can't explain it. It's like, I never got time to grieve over their deaths, and now it's all hitting me with the recent crap that has befallen my family. [don't worry, noone else died..]

Random side note: My sister that I admire the most is going off to college and I'm kind of wondering how it's going to change her..for better, or worse? Although, I'm not quite sure how it could get worse...

One of my besties, Raybear a.k.a. is moving like, 3+ hours away from me and I have no idea what I'm going to do without her here for me to run to when I need someone to listen to me, or a shoulder to cry on. She's always there for me no matter what, and I don't know how I'll survive without her here to help me through everything. I still have my other friends, but it's not the same.

I feel emo. Sorry if I depressed anyone/made them feel bad. I didn't mean too...I just had to write everything out before I exploded. Congrats to you if you read through all that and made it to this! I'll give you a cookie when I see you..if I ever do. If that will most likely not happen, go buy yourself a cookie and pretend I gave it to you

I promise, next journal will be randomness or a rant.

p.s. Listen to One Step Closer by Linkin Park. It's amazingness wrapped up in wicked awesomeness disguised as a song. Mhmm

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/19599569/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/19599569/ Fri, 25 Jul 2008 23:38:33 PDT
Anywho..only one week till Breaking Dawn comes out!! I can't wait!! I'm going to the midnight release with most likely..it's not a set thing yet though...

But, I have been working on The Forgotten Soul lately..because I've been sick and haven't had anything else to do because of that...so the next few chapters should be up soon! New characters are coming in and the story line is really shaping up! yayness!


Anyway, congrats to those who have actually read this far...this is just a journal to take up time and to keep me awake until my momma gets home in 2-3 more hours! yay!! lol XD anywho thanks for reading..and uh...leave comments if that makes you happy. you know, whatever floats your boat...



i really want some skittles..or a popsicle to soothe my throat...

]]> ~DisappearForever http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/19579076/ http://DisappearForever.deviantart.com/journal/19579076/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:38:05 PDT

Anyone know why it's doing this to me?

or does it just hate me?


p.s. The Forgotten Soul's second chapter is up

]]> ~DisappearForever