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        <title>deviantART: by:DollsandMirrors</title>
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        <pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:51:14 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>Lack of productivity</title>
                <link>http://DollsandMirrors.deviantart.com/journal/11386334/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 10 Jan 2007 12:40:05 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I think I'll submit a lot more deviations soon, and resubmit the ones already in my gallery. I haven't written a poem in a long time, and it bothers me. I mean, I still write (compulsively), journal entries and thoughts and things like that, but actual, "structured" pieces of writing feel almost like a thing of the past. I was never at all a prolific writer; I wrote in bursts of feeling, and couldn't really plan or organize anything I wrote; I'm not the kind of person who can just sit down and write every day as forced routine. I realize that when I first started writing poetry, I didn't write a whole lot of it, and there were long intervals between poems, but towards the "end" (oh, I don't want to think of an end) I wrote them sort of regularly. I even remember a very brief period where I couldn't wait to get home to write two poems or something a day (which is pretty productive for me). Writing has always been kind of a form of self-induced torture as well as a love for me. There are reasons why it's so difficult for me to write (I feel like everything is difficult for me now, even just thinking about anything, because it just goes on and on and never, never stops; it's like plunging beneath the surface to a crushing depth; I can't think for all the thinking I do), but I won't go into them now.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~DollsandMirrors</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Time...</title>
                <link>http://DollsandMirrors.deviantart.com/journal/3038368/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 04 Aug 2004 00:37:02 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ...I once wrote a story in which she  was personified. And someone asked me  what she looked like, and I said as old  as she was, and they asked how old was  she?, and I said at least thousands of  years, and later on I realized the  thickheadedness of this answer. How old  was Time?? I said thousands of years  old. She is, by any calculations, at  least some billions. But it's hard for  any of us to grasp the idea that there  might not have been Time long ago...  And even in this very sentence I have  to refer to Time. Time is essential to  us, and you will find that in every  sentence of this paragraph, I mentioned  Time at least once, referred to it.  That's because we're so used to  relating Time to things we did, saw,  said...and imagining a universe without  Time, a non-universe, a nonexistence I  should say, is almost inconceivable.  Time must have been born sometime...  Think of the irony of that: that you  have to connect the birth of a concept  to the concept itself, although it  hadn't existed up until that point. <br />
<br />
Once upon a time there were four  girls. One was pretty. One was clever.  One charming, and onewas mysterious.  But they were all damaged, you see.  Something not right about the lot of  them. Bad blood. Big dreams One by  one, night after night, the girls came  together. And they sinned Their sin  was that they believed. Believed they  could be different. Special. They  believed they could change what they  were  damaged, unloved. Cast-off  things They were misled. Betrayed by  their own stupid hopes. So life took  them, led them, and they went along,  you see? They faded before their own  eyes, till they were nothing more than  living ghosts, haunting each other with  what could be. What cant be There,  now. Isnt that the scariest story  youve ever heard?<br />
<br />
"Time's funny. When you're a kid, it  passes slowly, and next thing you're  fifty and your childhood fits into a  rusty little box." <br />
<br />
What they said: <br />
<br />
This kind of struck me when watching  the movie. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/emerson-center/TIME.htm">[link]</a> <br />
<br />
Time itself is entirely a function of  memory (storage and retrieval), which  creates the illusion that we're on a  timeline, always moving from the past  into the future. <br />
<br />
Think about that. Wouldn't that make  this possible? <br />
<br />
Be open minded.<br />
<br />
What I said:<br />
<br />
Time is a convenient way for us to  relate a sequence of events to  something we can grasp. It's not a  TANGIBLE thing, but it's real. I mean,  we really are always moving into the  future, we grow, there's a certain  order of events, and there is no way to  go back into the past and change things  that already occurred; THAT in itself  isn't an illusion. Memory is what would  give us our VIEW of time, how we  measure it in relation to ourselves,  but that doesn't mean we're all just  imagining that there's such a thing as  time. Memory's the only way to  understand the concept of time, but  sometimes it's a bit like pounding this  huge, abstract mass to fit into a  little convenient-sized box. <br />
<br />
It is, however, possible that our  memories portray a picture that is  different than how it really is, that  it creates fabrications once the moment  is passed, since now is only NOW, one  tiny second. And then it's past, too,  and we rely on our memories to say,  "Oh, I was doing this a few minutes  ago," and so on and so forth. If you  think in general terms, "now" could be  today, or this week, or this month, or  year. In reality, it...hardly exists at  all. We only know what we remember. Our  lives pretty much just consist of our  memories. ]]></description>
                <author>~DollsandMirrors</author>
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          <item>
                <title>"I'm going to sing a song so I don't have to</title>
                <link>http://DollsandMirrors.deviantart.com/journal/3028650/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Aug 2004 17:40:41 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ...talk of life."<br />
<br />
"Nozzle, nodule, eraser, chip:<br />
A few thoughts on the subject by a little...nothing.<br />
What was so obviously strange, yet mystifying true about the whole situation,<br />
Was Miss Connie Pallups' failure to grasp that the time was indeed now<br />
If she was to ever recover vitality to her mortal envelope.<br />
Oh sure, she liked perfume, and she had a lot of it, too.<br />
But pampered wisps do not a cloth doll make. <br />
And there we have a lesson that is easier to speak of than - how you say - live by?" <br />
<br />
Endomorph<br />
<br />
Morning has broken and what do I see <br />
But those same bloody fingerprints following me<br />
It don't pay to be careful don't pay to be nice<br />
So it's backward and forward and back again twice<br />
I don't think I'll try again <br />
<br />
Guilty was all that I felt until now<br />
Go ahead say I'm wrong but I'm curious how <br />
All you people get up and then don't arrive late<br />
Do you pray every day and then patiently wait?<br />
I don't think I'll try again <br />
<br />
I'm known as the Endomorph<br />
I'm slow I go back and forth<br />
I'm known as the Endomorph<br />
<br />
Punishment comes for no reason I've seen <br />
Then it stays for a while keeping quiet between<br />
What you said what take place if my big mouth was shut<br />
And I pray every day and it's all o.k. but I don't <br />
Think I'll try again<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~DollsandMirrors</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Mr. E. Leon Rauis</title>
                <link>http://DollsandMirrors.deviantart.com/journal/3028521/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Aug 2004 17:21:12 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ "Mr. E. Leon Rauis" - Rasputina<br />
<br />
I keep pictures of him in my mind<br />
Yeah you know the kind <br />
They curl up on the edges <br />
The corners are bended into <br />
A trick pulled from behind <br />
<br />
Physically he is serene <br />
He looks good he looks clean<br />
I know he's dead but I know what he said<br />
But I think <br />
I know what he might mean<br />
<br />
With many thanks for your well, well wishes, he says<br />
Believe me, sincerely yours <br />
Mr. E. Leon Rauis would say <br />
It's sentiment which he abhors <br />
<br />
Seventeen Union Square North <br />
Did he walk back and forth <br />
In the glass at the shop <br />
Did he smile did he stop for a while <br />
Did he question his worth?<br />
<br />
Seventeen Union Square West<br />
Dressed up looking his best <br />
Mr. E. Leon Rauis could never know<br />
How this would seem <br />
His one small request<br />
<br />
Regretfully so he still wants you to know<br />
Of the things in his heart he can't say <br />
His penmanship does a disservice <br />
It's illegible to this day <br />
Oh, Mr. E. Leon Rauis, believe me<br />
I hope it all turned out o.k.<br />
<br />
Picking a shop for the shoot <br />
Did he buy a new suit <br />
Was he tall was he kind <br />
Did he finally find it that day<br />
Was his end absolute? <br />
<br />
He got old like everyone<br />
Was he somebody's son<br />
Did he fail did he try to succeed <br />
To deny what he knew<br />
Or things he had done?<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~DollsandMirrors</author>
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