http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:DragonVamp&section=today deviantART RSS for by:DragonVamp en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:58:35 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14629906/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14629906/ Fri, 14 Sep 2007 11:57:49 PDT Who knows....? Surly not me. Anyways....oh and I shall send a link to all to all of those line-arts to their persons so there is no need to keep a watch out for my journal(*lowers head* people hardly ever do). Which means I'll just note you. And if you don't get noted then maybe you just didn't ask for one. Or I just forgot all about you. If that is the case then you'll have to note me and I shall fix that then. However there is a week/"month" grace period before I can get around to yours after I add you. School work and all...however I shall...*crosses fingers* try and start on them as soon as I get it. I shall! You'll see... So yeah...look forward to later on today/night. Other than that I have nothing else to say. And no I don't want you to color either of the line-arts. So don't worry...however I am looking forward to another art collab with you.




Edit:

Ok, maybe I'll have em up but tomorrow night. ...No, I will have em up by tomorrow night! You'll see!

]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14509342/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14509342/ Wed, 05 Sep 2007 20:49:35 PDT tagged me. First time I've been tagged since I've been on DA. Can you believe that....? I'm pitiful. I wish people would tag me more often and stop be selfish. I would like to be tagged and I hate to ask for it. Asking to be tagged is wrong...so remember that...cierra loves being tagged. So in the future when you've been tagged...please...*points to username* don't forget to tag me... I look forward to them.

From what I gathered, you're (I'm) suppose to post eight things about yourself (myself) and then tag eight other people. Sounds like uber funs. Here I go:

One: I smell my shoes every time before I put them on. (you say gross I say I'm just making sure they don't stink)

Two: Once I start buying stuff online it becomes hard for me to stop. Unless someone distracts me, I'll keep on buying until money is low. T_T

Three: I like to pretend that I can actually sing. TT_TT even though I know I can't.

Four: I hate men who think that they "know" me. Like dating them wasn't enough.

Five: I only play WoW (WorldofWarcraft) because Mitch played it and I don't play it often...hard at all.

Six: I'm in love with someone who could never love me back. T_T

Seven: I like listening to Dance and Techno music even though the beat repeats itself thought the whole song and almost all of my friends hate it. I did say almost.

Last and not least....*drum roll*

Eight: I hate to be surrounded by people that I don't know or have never met before.

Now....here is a list of people that I'ma tag.










]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14301585/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14301585/ Thu, 23 Aug 2007 10:03:04 PDT
[link]
[link]
[link]

And those are just my online rants. Some...very little...of my online rants. Stay away from my LJ page and you won't get an eye full. LJ pisses me off a lot so I always have something to rant about.

But no...not why I said "I need to stop ranting". No, not at all. I was walking...like I often do to clear my head or when it's nice out and I feel like I need to get a breath of fresh air. Mmm...clean air smells good, but then I paused and begun to think. Yes...I randomly think people . And it was about my family and what not. So like a stupid head, I call up the only able friend I know that will actually listen....Jonathan. Not my best of choice, but it was close enough. And I rant. I ranted to him as I entered the house, as I walked by my parents(didn't even lower my voice...stupid me*smacks self*), and up to my room where I ranted some more. Finally the rant was over, told him I'd speak to him later, he laughed and we hung up.

Now here's the best part:

My folks followed me up to my room and listened to the rest of the rant. And when I hung up, *enters the parental unit*. Lol...if was funny the worried look on their faces. Mom thinks I might kill her and everyone in the house. I keep telling her that even though I would want to, I would never in fear that I might get caught. Cierra don't like being somebody's bitch.

So yeah...it was like one of those "gotta save my kid before she takes it too far* kinda thing. It was really funny, you guys would have to be there.

Another reason why I won't rant anymore is b'cuz I realized that I have it so much better than other people. Like people in China and such. I don't have to worry about bills(yet) or things close to that nature. For now I can act dumb and silly. For now I can goof around or gwak at boys that I find sexy. Even keep a crush on someone I like and stay up late until I can no longer think with a thought of reason(not like I do anyways...but) I'm young! And when I sleep, full of energy! I don't want thoughts that aren't really actual thoughts or just thoughts to make me feel bad when I should be high on life! So Fuck you devil!!! This is one girl you won't get!!! *dances*

]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14170284/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14170284/ Tue, 14 Aug 2007 19:30:46 PDT
]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14103251/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/14103251/ Fri, 10 Aug 2007 09:47:10 PDT Hate is what I am. It's what I feel. Without it I am nothing but a pile of unwated emotions. But with it, I am the darkness that consumes your souls. I am me!

Title is a line from a blue October song. Man...I haven't stopped listening to them yet.

Anyways...Hopefully by this time Sunday I'd have some new stuff up and about. I've scanned them and some of them I'm coloring up in PS(photoshop). So yeah...those might take longer to get up here then the ones that I've done on paper and am please with. There are some Dragon(my character/alter ego) drawings. More of them and what not...just playing around with her. Most of them were just too see how I liked her hair to look when doing certain things or dressing a certain way. So...whatever.

Um...I also did some drawings of her family. Still working on her mother and father. I have no ideal how I want them to look. Her mom was a full blooded demon from hell who loved to kill anything whether it be demon or human just for the sake of it. Her father on the other had was kind and gentle and caring. He was a bred between a water nymph and an ice demon. Then her mother killed him after she had Dragon. Talk about funny. I'll post the story up once it's done in LJ(LiveJournal). I made is that her mother hates all of her children, but it didn't start off like that. She loved them all...all but Dragon, but with her being the youngest, her siblings looked out for her and turned on the mother...so you can see why she hates them all now. Dragon more the most.

There's Fox, the oldest...he's a see-er. Can see into the future as well as shape shift. His father was a fox. *giggle*

Next in line is Shawn. She takes after her father who was a sun god. She's human down to the T besides her power and ability to heal when the sun is out.

Then came Viper. The once mother's favorite. Her father is unknown. All she knows is that he was an earth elemental. Although she has other powers, she got them by killing demons and stealing their powers for her own. She's power hungry and evil. Like mother like daughter, eh? The two still don't get along.

Second to last is Mitch. Based off of a friend. He's immortal due to a curse from an angry god but human. (Can you guess what his father was? Dee dee) He makes stuff ranging from weapons, buildings, creatures, to who knows what else. Demons and others creatures of all kinds go to him to get weapons and such of great power. He doesn't have a kind relationship with Dragon...theirs is more on the business level if anything else. However, deep down he wishes her to be more careful when she's doing her kicking ass thing. Still her brother no matter which way he looks at it.

Last...thank god...there's Dragon. Just told you guys what her father was so I'll just repeat it. : He was a bred between a water nymph and an ice demon: cool huh? Her mother hated her when she first found out that she was going to have her. Thus she killed the father. (Mother was a hoe wasn't she) So Dragon go abused a lot as she grew up. I haven't worked on her childhood story yet, but just...in my stories of her as an adult...made reference to her past.

Well that's the family. She has some friends also that kinda bum off of her in her huge house that's small on the outside due to some magic, but like a castle on the inside. Enough to fit in the army, a small country, and factory workers.

So yeah...I drew them all. Right now I'm working a drawing them all together. However I can't seem to get it right. I don't want them in the picture according to age and I don't want them according to height. *sighs* And my inspiration/creativity is slowly draining away. Before you know it it'll be all gone. T__T.

Oh, and there will be some stories up in my scraps later on today. Just look out for them. Their not good and can use some work, but I'm trying to prepare myself before school starts so it might take me some time before I get around to them. So..yeah...

Alright...bye for now. Until next time.

Kiss me'bum ye fuckin' ninny. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/13778706/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/13778706/ Wed, 18 Jul 2007 07:16:29 PDT Hate is what I am. It's what I feel. Without it I am nothing but a pile of unwated emotions. But with it, I am the darkness that consumes your souls. I am me!

Alright...commission, or as it's been pointed out to me, art gifts will be put up on DA no later than Saturday. Thursday being the earliest. T__T...I just want to cry my eyes out. O, and there will be some random writings posted up by tomorrow. Mainly dealing with Dragon and Nick. Little shorts. Nothing big...to worthless to do something big. Kinda pointless too if you think about it.

Oh, and for now on my journals will be titles of random songs. Songs that I love and listen to a lot. Or in my parents case, "A little too much, Cierra." Hey, they can blame no one but the media. "Like Humans Do" . It's a really cool song. You guys should check it out. I forgot who sung it. Teeheehee.

So yeah....just something random to keep you guys filled in. Keep you guys on your toes or what not.

Um...on a short notice...I'm having relationship problems. Could have something to do with the fact that she's kinda clingy, but I donno. Not to mention that I'm kinda seeing this guy on the side. Her wish of course. Well...um...she didn't want me to get bored of her so she told me to go out and get a boyfriend. Told me no girls because that would be cheating. I haven't a clue on earth what the hell to do. I'm tired of both of them. *rolls eyes* I know that sounds kinda cold, but it's just me looking out for them. I should break up with both of them, my girlfriend and I are on a "trail" period. When it's over and I don't see it going anywhere, which by the way I won't, then we can end it. Should have never put my foot where the rum should be. LOL. ... T__T. Long story. Anyway...I hate them all.

Ok...lighter note. Got a car! Woot! *dances* "Turn up the music! You know how to use it baby! Why don't you turn up the music!" I love that song too. I'm so proud of myself that now life seems worth reliving. Worth taking out the time to just stop and smell those damn stinking roses. Ah..."See I've been waiting...long enough...so why don't you please just turn it up." Awesome dance song. You guys have no clue.

Anyways...yea...

Most of the stuff that I'm going to post up will be going in my scraps, so look out for them too. They're finish and yet they're not. *shrugs* Would make a hella lot sense if you know me. Sadly...no one truly gets me. T__T TTY for now! &

"God fuck us every one!"

Kiss me'bum ye fuckin' ninny. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/13712496/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/13712496/ Thu, 12 Jul 2007 19:52:26 PDT Hate is what I am. It's what I feel. Without it I am nothing but a pile of unwated emotions. But with it, I am the darkness that consumes your souls. I am me!

Alright...so I'm a very bad artist (can't even be called that because my 'artwork' sucks) and should be put to death. I know I know...you heard it all before. I've just been not feeling well, and I've been called into work...and well...more ands. I'm just that useless. Everytime I plan on something...on drawing something when I do have free time..stupid...or just once not so stupid...stuff happens. Not going to go into detail. Let's just say I hate working just as much as drug dealers hates cops.

Anywho...thinking that maybe killing myself after I reach 21 would be my best bet. I hate to see what life looks like after that age. Hell, I hate to see what life looks like now, but I just want to be able to actually by alcohol for a change. Ah...the sweet tasting taste of alcohol at is finest. *sighs* Yea...first step is to admit that you have a problem. The last step is to tell everyone to sod the fuck off. Wait...I just told you guys that I wanted to commit suicide. Ignore that. Just a crazy girl ranting. You all know me. *sweat*

Anyway...the list again....

I have some art trades that I have to finish and some art commissions too. Here's a list so far:

AT=Art Trade
C=Commissions

ATalmost done. All I have to do is ink it and then if you want...which I'll do anyways is color it. I gotta learn somehow, right?

C just for being a nice friend. In fact I'm done. It's much easier for me to draw something random than it is for me to draw another's one characters. *bows* I hope you'll like it. Plus I'm gonna write you a little something something to get you back into writing again. That way over the school year we can combine our talents together and create a MonaLisa. DONE!!!

My sister, Debbie C..her's is on the way. I just got the outline done for it. Sadly that is all I have of it for her. DONE!!!

C I haven't even started on it yet. T_T Not because I don't or didn't wanna, just because work is drainning all of my enegry away. If you don't get it come the end of july, you get two instead of one. And I promise you you'll get it even if it kills me. X_o....but I'm half dead now so you don't have long. LOL

C She doesn't know it yet, but she gets one for be an awesome person. Thank you for the AMAs and putting up with certain people. This...plus the money I owe you...is my way of showing my thanks. And you can't stop me.

C my way of trying to cheer him up I guess.

C it's going to be a written piece and a drawing piece for yous. If you don't like either one then you can suck it. *folds arm* And I'm doing this not only because you are my cousin....because Debbie is my sister and you see how I treat her...it is also because I...that word...oh yeah...care. I can be so nice when I wanna.

Sara, C just cause I like her so much. As a sister p... ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/13514984/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/13514984/ Wed, 27 Jun 2007 17:01:44 PDT Hate is what I am. It's what I feel. Without it I am nothing but a pile of unwated emotions. But with it, I am the darkness that consumes your souls. I am me!

((Art trades and Commission list is just down below. Check to make sure you're on. If you want an Art trade or Commission then send me a note. I'd be happy to add you to my list. ))

:Journal Finally Starts:


*yawns* It's one of those days. It's raining and thrundering outside and I just got word that you're not suppose to be on the internet or in water while so. Is that actually true of just a hoax people are pulling to get me to go to sleep. *feels forehead* I still have me 'slight' fever, but I'm pretty much sure it'll past. I know I've been saying that for a week now Jonathan, but this time I mean it. You'll see.

Um, I finished a couple of chapters of various fanfics. Now, these were shorts to say the least and I am...*rereads and holds breath* Somewhat proud of them. Lovey-dovey stuff just isn't my thing ok. I'm debating if I want to post them up here on DA. I know I'ma post them In LJ...soon anyways.

*something random* I LOVE EVERYONE!!! *randomism ends*

*clears throat* Anywho, saw some recent movies...a friend rotated them for me. I be damned if I waste my money to go and see a fucking movie. Wait...I shouldn't have said that. *goes back and make corrections* Heh. *sweat* Anywho...why do I keep forgetting what I'ma say. Damn...moving on then.

(I know this is like a week or two late, but s.t.f.u<----don't know what it means then poo on you) AMAs rocked this year! More so cuz I got to spen more time with my friends from school! Woot! Of course that is what got me sick in the first place. *sighs* I shoulda brought my meds but I was being stupid and selfish. It'll happen again. LOL. Can't wait until next year. *Starts planning*

*******************

I have some art trades that I have to finish and some art commissions too. Here's a list so far:

AT=Art Trade
C=Commissions

ATalmost done. All I have to do is ink it and then if you want...which I'll do anyways is color it. I gotta learn somehow, right?

C just for being a nice friend. In fact I'm done. It's much easier for me to draw something random than it is for me to draw another's one characters. *bows* I hope you'll like it. Plus I'm gonna write you a little something something to get you back into writing again. That way over the school year we can combine our talents together and create a MonaLisa.

My sister, Debbie C..her's is on the way. I just got the outline done for it. Sadly that is all I have of it for her.

C I haven't even started on it yet. T_T Not because I don't or didn't wanna, just because work is drainning all of my enegry away. If you don't get it come the end of july, you get two instead of one. And I promise you you'll get it even if it kills me. X_o....but I'm half dead now so you don't have long. LOL

C She doesn't know it yet, but she gets one for be an awesome person. Thank you for the AMAs and putting up with certain people. This...plus the money I owe you...is my way of showing my thanks. And you can't stop me.

http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/13232395/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/13232395/ Tue, 05 Jun 2007 19:31:39 PDT Hate is what I am. It's what I feel. Without it I am nothing but a pile of unwated emotions. But with it, I am the darkness that consumes your souls. I am me!

Some chick called me a slut and a whore today. I punched her in the fucking face. Didn't mean too, but I have quite a temper on me that's really hard to control. Think I could control if I tried, but I'm the kinda person who sees no sense in changing. All is good as long as it is well. :wink:

AMA's are a week away. I can't hardly wait. At first I was like: "I don't give a fuck", but now that feeling has gone away. No, it's not because I'm turning into a sheep, it's because I know that I am human and must interact as so. Even if it kills me! :sigh:

finished her part of our art trade. Her's is still in the work. I just asked her if I could switch characters. Waiting to hear back from her now. *crosses fingers* It's not that I'm not doing it, I am. It's just I'm never pleased with the outcome so it ends up in the trash. Or else where. *sly grin* Here's the link to where it's at. It's one of my long forgotten characters that I've drawn. Deadly Sue. Copyrighted by DragonVamp. Don't you fucking forget it. Link: ----->[link]

I don't know what else to say. Um...I have a friend...friends who are emo and I think that when I'm around them...I become emo myself. If not emo then very mush depressed. And I can't help it, they're everywhere. Now, I'm what you called emotionally unstabled. Not emo. Emotionally unstabled because I was neer given an outlet to which I can express myself fully. Thus I keep everything pinned up inside to the point where I can't tell one emotion from the other. Confusing myself as well as other. But who gives a rats ass about them. You'll never guess who told me this. Who ever knew that he was right.

Right now I'm in a somewhat fairly good mood. One of my rivials is in the hospital for a D.U.I. Now I know it's wrong to laugh and poke jokes, but I find pleassure out of people's pain. Surly you would do best to not take this mere happiness from me... *crack knuckles* Right?

Anywho, moving on:

AMA's, Dragon-san(me) good mood, and days without my cellphone ringing(explains my boredom) + a rivial in the hospital for something stupid and a cig in my hand= Life slowly moving forward to me. At all cost I will stay this way for a while longer. Even if that means I have to bring pain to those around me. And trust me, I have not problems with hurting others. It's what I live for. :mwahahaha:

Kiss me'bum ye fuckin' ninny. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/12988941/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/12988941/ Thu, 17 May 2007 12:33:17 PDT My mind aches to be heard.
My soul aches to fly.
And my body aches to feel love.

No....people... I really want to know. Not a joke. I actually....really....most....truly....honestly...care. *hugs* You guys mean the world to me. I want to know. Send me some more notes. And to those who has sent me notes and I'm just now replying back....*bows* forgive me. I am most truly sorry.

Alright....I'm feeling great. I've entered into three art contests and finished two. (working on the third one right now). I've done just about a dozen art trades and am working on three right now. (A2 of which I don't have to complete until school starts up again.) Working on just a couple of art clabs and an feeling great about them. The are clabs. feature written pieces as well. (Written pieces: four poems, 3 plays, 2 randomized fan-fiction, and 1 chapter fiction story. <---- so far we only have 2 chapters done) Not to mention the art that I'm doing for myself on the side. Well....some of the art that I'm doing I'm giving 'em away to people who has asked for them. People say that your art is bits and pieces of your heart....I say you have to have one to s tart off with first.

What else.....going to the beach with a few good friends. A small one day getaway, but it's well worth it. Been dying to free myself from the shackles of man-kind to be with people who do not judge me....well at least not aloud anyways.

I have 15 bad habits. A few were smoking, pill popping, finger nail biting, pulling at old scabs, and drinking. Now that's only a few. I've slowed down on my smoking, I only bite my finger nails when I feel uneasy, I stopped pill popping all together, I no longer pull scabs in fear of another blood infection, and I still drink.....just not a lot.

*wink* Will have more for you guys later.

Kiss me'bum ya fuckin' ninny. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/11795549/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/11795549/ Tue, 13 Feb 2007 07:30:42 PST My mind aches to be heard.
My soul aches to fly.
And my body aches to feel love.

Alright people, sorry. I was meaning to put my artworks up here, but that damn blasted scanner of mine died on me. I knew it was old and that it was going to die sooner or later, but I didn't know it would be that soon. Blasted luck of mine. Now I can hardly find anything that I've drawn or written in the past month or so. See, I have bad luck all around.

Bad Luck 1:
Broke up with my boyfriend late last night. We broke up the day before the love day of the year. Although I always hated that day, still....well no still. Good for me! I don't need him. Fucking bitch anyway. We broke up because he wanted sex and I wasn 't willing to give it to him. If I don' trust you, don't expect to get anything other than a smile from me. Fucking bitch. I hate men. ....damn, but I like 'em too.

Bad Luck 2:
A friend of mine passed away due to a fucking drunk driver. He was on his way home from school to see his mother. I know, sad right? Me and him had made plans to actually do things together and if we couldn't do 'em n'person we were going to do 'em online. Then he just ups and die. Now this made me pissed at God, but even more pissed off at myself. Thought I had more time that I was planning on blowing him to catch some z's. Stupid me. That's my fault. Heh.

Bad Luck 3:
I lost my shoes. Not bad luck to you, but it is for me. I love those pair. The only black shoes that I've had in like forever that I even liked. Do you know how hard it is for me to like something? It's hard. It takes me forever to like something. And when people ask me, "Do you like this?" I lie. I lie like a wolf to a rabbit. "Yes....it's....it's cute."
Rabbit: If I let you in my house will you eat me?
Wolf: Um....*lies* No. Not at all.
But in my head I'm cursing myself for lying and saying I like it, but I'm not going to change my answer once it comes out. Sorry folks, that's just how I roll. *shrugs* Won't be changin' anytime soon.

Well that's all the bad luck thus far. I don't have anymore. Well one more, but I'm too afraid and ashamed to say it. So it'll stay hush hush. Nah-nah-na-boo-boo. 8P

I'll be getting a new scanner soon and once I do, my artwork will stary appearing up on the site. Just cross your fingers. Ihave mine crossed. Bu tnot too tightly or else something too good will happen and then it'll be followed by something too bad.


Oh, and just in case you are feeling kind...cuz I like kind people....for my own reasons....Muahahahahahaha! *clears throat* ....send me some e-mails. I love e-mails. They make me now feel so lonely. *sighs* Anyway here they are:

Ceecee51087@aol.com or
dragonvampcierra@yahoo.com

Again....send me e-mails. I love e-mails. 'Huggles, everyone.'

Kiss me'bum ya fuckin' ninny. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/11608012/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/11608012/ Mon, 29 Jan 2007 06:31:33 PST
*Dances* Two weeks it's taken me. Mainly because I kept putting it off. I truly hate Zelda. The only reason why I played it was because it was the only game I have for the Nitendo Wii. Well I had two others, but I beat those one too. Man, I was so ready to stoop low and use cheats. Thank God I didn't, but I was cutting it a little close. Now I'm rebeating the game seeing if I can cut down on the two weeks to something a lot less lower. Cross your fingers kids.

Alright, here's the down low. I'm sick. Like sick sick. Not dying sick. Like sick if I don't get help it's going to get worse kinda sick. And no....not in the head. Although that fact seems to be appearent. When winter is over and things smooth over with my crime making brothers, then I'll get better. Physically anyways.

Alright, another note for you kiddies. I've been drawing some for awhile. Now, once I get the scaner working, prepare to see it posted up. No later than Saturday of this week, but if later then I'll start selling my body parts to you guys for like....5 cents. Yay.....

I've also been writing more. Done 7 chapters of one story. Or course that's all I have of that story, but at least I've been writing. Hopefully I'll feel more like writing, but that's after exams.

Yeah, I'm in school. Kinda don't want to be here, but it was either that or getting kicked out the house. I could've moved out....but I didn't want to bother my friends and what not. Plus the only person will to take me in was male and it was for a very sick reason.

Schols alright and I'm getting through just find. 'A's in 3 classes, 'B' in one, and 'C' in one also. It was a 'D', but I actually show up for class so he gives me points of at least doing that. Maybe one day I'll get better in his class. Yet right now, I just don't give a damn.

Alright peoples, catch you when the sun is down. Peace.

Finally I am alive! Alive I tell you! Alive! ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/10583914/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/10583914/ Wed, 01 Nov 2006 15:35:02 PST
I would like to take time out and say this before I go on. I'm sorry. So very sorry. I just dropped of the face of the earth. And for longer than I had hoped for. *hits self over and over* I was just going through some stuff that needed to be sorted. Yet when it was, I just made my life harder for myself and those around me. Then from that point, I hid myself inside a little shell. Afraid to resurface. Again....sorry.

Alright...now I can see that I have a lot to catch up on. Nothing that I can't handle. Now this goes out to my friend ZekkieChan1[link] I'd like to say that I'm truly sorry. We were working on a collab and I just vanished. If there is anything that I can do to make it up to you just let me know. Anything. I however will make sure that I post up the picture that I've drawn like forever ago. Even if I have to fight God I will.

Alright...to everyone else whose been worried or wondering....shit happens and I know that now, but the stuff I went through I wish no one ever has to endure that. So um....I'll get around to checking all of your laterest works. I'll see to it that I will. SO for now on you'll guys will see me around more so than usual. I'll see to that.

And um...once again....Sorry and thank you. Good day.

ZZZZZZZZZZ.....*falls out of chair* Um...heh....you were saying ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/9469445/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/9469445/ Sun, 23 Jul 2006 15:36:15 PDT ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/9029041/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/9029041/ Sat, 10 Jun 2006 15:09:51 PDT ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/8512041/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/8512041/ Tue, 18 Apr 2006 15:21:28 PDT
Anyway...before I break down into tears, I'ma get this out of the way. I started drawing, and this time I'll wait some. I know I've said this b4, but this time I really mean it. I'm gonna put them up one by one in my scrap. It's bascially drawn pictures of my "Dragon Chronicals". Dragon, Nick, Jonathan, and so on. Just pictures of some the major key players within the story. Then on my birtday I'll put a huge picture of all of them together up. Now, if the pictures I put into my scrap aren't colored, which 9 times out of 10 they won't be, unless you ask, you are not to touch and do whatever yourself. And if you do ask...depending on the person, I'll say no. Plus there is only one person who I most truly want to color 'em, but I doubt they'll do it.

*sighs* Now I'm off to go and cry my useless being until I drift off to sleep. Oh, and sorry people that I am who I am. One day, I might just change. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/8401602/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/8401602/ Fri, 07 Apr 2006 19:44:20 PDT
I have issuses. *giggles* ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7712129/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7712129/ Thu, 26 Jan 2006 09:52:58 PST

Anywho...haven't been feeling myself in the last couple of days. I guess it's the off again on again wheather. I don't know. Whatever it is, it'll have to stop. Um...Haven't been on DA in... in...forever. God I miss DA. JUst been to busy with work, trying to keep my friends, love life, and trying to stay alive. But soon, it'll all solw down. Yep...soon. Coming soon. And gonna post some finished and some unfinished wok up. Don't know when, but soon.

I'm alsow working on two plays which I've been working on every single day of this week so far. It's coming along just fine. Both of the, are. And A stroy deicated to no other than Muses-Midnight. She's on DA also. Then it's this other story that hasn't been taking off like the others, but it's coming along. I just might post 'em up on DA, but Muse will have to read 'em first. I told her she can be the first to read 'em if she wants. So, gonna keep good on my word.

My mom pushed back the moving date until the end of Feb. She said it'll be best because of all of us will be very busy. And I do mean very busy. I just might vanish again next motn never to be seen until May. I can deal with another month in this damn city, but no telling what the city will do with me here for another month. *Sighs* There it goes again. My ego's going to my head. Yep...something as the new year rung in, I developed an ego. Don't know where it came from, but it's there. Huge and still growing. It'll go away again. It came because I've "might've" been drinking. "Might've been" .

That's all I have to say for now. Just stay cool. Stay in school. And be yourself. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7289644/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7289644/ Mon, 12 Dec 2005 07:50:53 PST That's right. Cierra is right back into the music buz. Now all I have to do it rotate it and I'll be just fine. Just fine indeed. If you want to know more than, here:

[link]

That is for all that actually really care. And for those who don't, can go and fuck a shovel. That'll be all that they will ever be able to fuck. And your mother/father doesn't count. Pussy ass bitches. Anywho, Let's have Christmas in New York. I just might be going up there for a week something before the month is over. *looks up into the skies* Thankies God. Thankies Budda. That's right bitches...(I keep typing in a "d" instead of an "s") I said budda! *Shoves and picks up a shovel* Wat's ("What" without the "h". Someone asked me that earlier. Dumb ass mother fucking bitch) it to cha'?! Yeah, that's what I thought. I was just about to shove this shovel up you ass. Let's see if it'll hurt. Anyways, peace out and...a nice rest of the year to cha' pussy ass bitches. (And I mean it in the nicest of ways. *grins*)> ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7271996/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7271996/ Sat, 10 Dec 2005 08:20:00 PST
Moives I've seen:
*Syriana: Very goold, I actually liked this political flim. Had me asking questions and what not at the end. Very good.

*Rent: Wasn't too happy about all the fucking singing, but the cross dresser made it worth wild. If I want to see a movie about aids and love I'd go to Africa and watch the natives.

*Aeon Flux: MG: I just loved the fighting scenes. I was like just blown the fuck away. Never have I...well ok, I have, but I for one must say that this might just become one of me favorite movies ever. And sadly, it was mainly because of the fighting scenes.

*Narnia: Not what I really expected, but I guess it was worth it. I mean, it was a good movie...well, an ok movie, but should I expect to see during the holidays? (answer) A half done movie.

Movies I've yet to seen:

*Memooirs of a Geisha: The book was great so hopefully the moive is way much better.

*King Kong: Slowly wanting to see this moive is fading. I mean I want to, but I figured it can wait. Mainly because I already saw the first hour of the film and it felt drawn out.

*The Producers: "Bout time they started acting agin. I just want to see if just for those two. What a great...well funny...moive they'll make.

*Fun with Dick and Jane: MUst see these two together. I have to see if they are funny. If he is funny. Gonna see it as soon as it comes out. No one or thing will stop me. By the grace of God no one will!

*Rumor Has It: I'm not doing it for Jen. I'm goin' to see it for the rest of the cast. Sadly. But it's not my money I'm wasting.

Well there you go. Before this month if over, I'd have seen all of these moives. By the way, Harry Potter sucked assed. I seen old homeless people act better than that. And it was only for a peice of ham. A small peice of that. Sorry people who liked it, that movie just let me down in so many ways that I nearly cried...well, I did cry, but for another reason. Bye. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7235542/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7235542/ Tue, 06 Dec 2005 05:51:03 PST ....I so god fucking depressed. I know why too! I so tired. So fucking tired. I'm just about to . I feel to people. Well most people. At first I thought it was a good thing. But after awhile...wait....no....it doesn't bother me any. In a matter of fact...not at all. Sometimes I think I'm fighting myself. Like good and evil side of me are just going at it. Trying to kill one another to take control over my useless body. *pokes self* Damn you. I've gone back to , which is a good thing. That way I can do all the damage I want to myself in my head. Bad...I know, but I just don't give a fuck. Helps me stay focus at times so that I just don't cry. I can't stand to cry anymore. Not at all. It make me sick. Sometimes I have a hard time keeping it together when I'm on the phone with someone. Other times it easy because I just shut down competely. Mainly 'cuz I'm so fucking tired. I just want to to the sweet nuthings called . ... . I'm so filled with and :depression: that I don't know what to do with myself. I truly need help. but I don't want it. There's like this huge ( bigger than hell itself) hanging over me. SO big that it blocks out almost the tinyest rays of light. Luck me that I still have some. All I need to is become Really really really . Easier said than done, but It shall get done.

On a lighter note, I got drunk. Not to the point where I was piss drunk or can't remember shit drunk. I remind you, I was still at work. I just drunk to the point where I couldn't tell hot from cold. Wet from dry. Or people whose there from people whose not. I did it for no reason at all. I had asked someone to buy me something to drink and he did. Along with himself. And he drinks. I mean this guy really does drink. Never have I've seen someone down so many shots in my whole life. I mean, this guy could out drink my uncles. And that's saying a lot! "Way to go Cierra. Picking a friend whose an drunk." *sigh* Damn Irishmen.

On an even more lighter note, I could be in love. It's not lust, although if he wanted me right here and now, I would not say no. In fact, I'd jump him before he even finished saying what he has to say. THe facts of my love interest will not be told to anyone...shit...already told one person. Well hopefully they'll keep their shitty as mouth close. I'd hate to lose a friend. *ponders* Wait...no I wouldn't. http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7164602/ Mon, 28 Nov 2005 05:54:18 PST now that I've changed some) that showing "emotion" os for the strong, and I'm not that strong yet. Maybe in the future....not anytime near because I hate people and hope that they hate me, but it will differ.

But there is a reason why I'm on D.A. today. NOt because it's my day off, but because there was this huge car crash. It stopped ten or something cars. The 'it" was a mama' dag. Her pup ran into the road, the owner just placed her hands over her mouth and looked on, but the mother dog was like, "Bitch, I be damned if my only last pup is gonna die today while I'm still living." She leaped in front of this truck, which hit her with it's back end. But wait! It doesn't even end there. She gets back up, the truck owner gets out of his truck to see if she was alright, but as soon as she closed his door, his truck ended up going backwards smashing into the cars behind him. The next thing I knew, while I was diggin' around under the seat for my book that had just dropped, a lil'pup came flying towards the windshield. I looked at it in a daze as it got closer and closer until BAM!!!! right through the fucking windshield it went. I don't know what happened during the time that I was under the chair, but it must've been something. As if that wasn't enough, I got out of the car, looked at my friend Lewis(not really a friend, just using 'im for rides) who was driving and laughed. That's right people, I laughed. You know, "Ah...Hahahahahaha" It started low and then it just got louder. All the while I was crying. I don't know if those were tears of joy, depression, or sadness. It's gotten to the point where reality and imagation seems to be as one.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Now I know, that this chould just be matters of the mind, but it can also be matters of the soul, which I've read could be, is worse if it turns out to be true. There has to be a reason why I'm feeling like this. One minute I was happy, the next I was in my room crying. I figure I'll just wait to see if it'll go back into the bottle that I've made for it. "Gotta rub me the right way." SO for now people, watch where you tred, because I will not stop myself from snapping on you. It's the soul purpose of venting. :wink: So watch it or you'll be next. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7042823/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/7042823/ Mon, 14 Nov 2005 07:18:08 PST What's a girl like me to do?! *vanishes* hehehehehe....find me if you can. *Smoke clears* Damn...it cleared too early. Um...*sweat* This is but a dream....but a dream....not working is it. Pussy foot.

ON a lighter note...I'm shockingly well liked. Who could've believed it? Not even I can. *sighs* Boys...or as they call themselves, "men" are loving the Cierra. Cierra-san still has it going on! I do know how to work it. *Kyane 'work it out' starts to play* Um...*stare* turn the damn thing off. *music stops* I mean these are 'men' in their damn 30ties or 40ties. Who in the hell wants them besides their grandmothers?! Not me! Although....*blush* There are some...well...heh...3 of them that I have interest in. One's very sweet and kind. His name is Theo. He asked me if we could have a cuddle date. I of course said yes, but 'shh..." no one is suppose to know. Gotta keep my image. The other one is just like how I like 'em :rough but soft towards me. His name is Jay. That's just how you spell it. "J-A-Y." Then it's this guy that I just...that I'm just swooned over. His name is Jason. He looks like a serial killer, but the way he just....the way he speaks to me. The curl of his lips when he smiles or talk. The dream gleam he has in his eyes when he talks about art, sports, or anything that he has interest in. *dreamy look* Ahh...Cupid halt pierced my heart with a sword instead of an arrow. *Stare* That does not mean that I'm in love. I'm not! It's no love!...um...it's...it's...LUST! ...well....maybe it's a little more than lust. Just a LITTLE. Nating more and nating less.

Here's something even more out there. I have a stocker at work. He cleans floors there. At "Wal-Mart" you asses. His name it Lewis Taylor. He's sweet in a weird kinda way. He keeps saying things like, "I'll do anything and everything for you." "You mean a lot to me." "I'm in love with you." "I love you." *Sighs* Things along that line. I don't know what I'm going to do. He gave me a ring. He walked over to where I was stocking last night and handed the ring. Well....he got on his knees, took my hand and placed it on my finger. Then the stupid ass nigga walks the fuck off. I ignored him the whole night. I did however keep the ring. He won't be getting that back.

Well later on today I'll be out the house again. My manger Chris invited me over to his house so that I can kick his ass in "Need For Speed Underground". Oh, and in Halo 2 and DOA. If you don't know what DOA is...*stare* then get a clue. Well I'm gonna nap before he gets here. I'm wondering what I shall wear? *blushes* I don't like him....well maybe a lil' bit. Bye for now. *Smiles* ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6748913/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6748913/ Wed, 12 Oct 2005 13:59:42 PDT Please...help me out here. I want this more than I wanted friend. I'll even give you guys a sponge bath. Better yet! Your grandfolks or your parents a sponge bath! *twitches* Just help me find those dvd's! ...Again it's Tokyo Mew Mew Power...or just leave out the "Tokyo". Once again...I love you guys, you've all been great...may you live long and be able to find me those Dvd's. Now you don't have to buy 'em for me...although I'd be ever so greatful. (Address: Cierra Edgefield 128 Brandon Road Richmond, Va 23224) Just give me the link to where I can get them from and I'll do the rest from there. Thanies once again. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6623466/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6623466/ Wed, 28 Sep 2005 08:13:41 PDT Do you know? And being that I'm on a draw itch, I might actually have some art posted up here once I can get it colored by someone else other than me. Oh, and I started a lil'comic thing about me, dragon, and deadly sue. And my Shawn is she behaves. Always acting up is she. Anywho...peace out...with love...D.V. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6524688/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6524688/ Fri, 16 Sep 2005 22:44:20 PDT
"Why did 9/11 happen?"

"What was the reason behind it?"

And in the bible it said that killing yourself..."suicide" was a sin. "For those that jumped out of the twin buildings because they didn't want to did in there, do they go striaght to heaven?"

"Hell?"

"Is God killing of people for fun?"

"To make more room for the newborns?"

Or "Is the devil winning the war?"

What about the chaos going on down in N.O.?

"Are there angles watching over everyone?"

"Is there enough angels for everyone in the world?"

"Why did such a bad thing happen to those people?"

"Is nature striking back?"

"Is it revenge?"

See...so many questions I have that I want answers for. But yet again...answers only bring forth more questions. The cycle never ends. It goes on and on. Who knows when this questing will end. It may go on until the end of time! Luckily for me...the question has come to an end...*sweat* ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6461989/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6461989/ Fri, 09 Sep 2005 19:20:21 PDT Today was weird for me. More weird than usually. I cried. Haven't done that in like forever. And I do mean forever. Or at least it feels like forever. Alright...here'ss what happened.

I'm watching this thing on "HBO" and at first I thought it to be nothing. Just something to watch to take up time. I'm not going to say what it is for two reasons. 1) It's none of your damn business. 2) I doubt you give a rats ass about what I was watching. Anywho...it becomes deep...well it starts off that way, but you guys know me. It takes me time to show emotion. And I started to cry and cry and cry. I mean I couldn't stop. It got to the point where I was having trouble breathing. It was also because of my cold..., but still, I was crying. And in the middle of a sniffle, my mother walks into the living room. You would think her motherly "whatever" would kick in but it didn't. At first i figured since she could barely see me, maybe she didn't see the tears. I was trying my hardest to hold them back, but than again...my brother heard me crying from all the way in his room. Then the evil part of me was like...she doesn't care. She just wants you out or dead as soon a you humanly can. Now...usually this is where the good part of me would start talking...but to know surprise...nothing. Even the middle man didn't say a thing. (The middle man would be the third voice. The voice of you...your true self) So I figured that because I was...am an adult that she thinks I can handle whatever...well almost whatever. Well I got news for her and the rest of the God damn world. I can't. Not even sure if I want to.

Knowing that I have to...makes me scared. *twitch* Yes...I to have fear. *sighs* Like what I was watching...no one can get use to it. Never. At first I thought...I can. That I will be that 1 of 10 who can, but I can't. I am that weak. That stupid. "Thou holds no pity for the weak." And now...and now I lost it. My spark of life that I had left. For art. Nature. And yes...love. My flame I had for life. God (*Stare* Yes him too. That should explain the crosses I carry) For people(Or what I had left of it anyways), and for the ones I love. I now feel like I know the true meaning of meaningless. Days ago I taught Jeremiah(youngest brother) A value of life. He stepped on a bug....not enough to kill it. It was a butterfly. One of natures gift of glory. And he was about to take of the wings while it was still alive. I stopped him. Told him not to and gave him reason as to why. Although I told him to wait until it was dead....which I know was crazy and stuoid, but it's me you're dealing with here. If it ain't human, you have no right to cause anyliving thing pain unless it bit you or something. Then again...I'm trying to rethink that. Now...when he saw a bee on the front steps dying, he wanted the stinger and was waiting for it to die. I came out and stepped on it. And told him to bring his silly butt into the house or I was going to hurt him.

To add on, Woarry, Brandon, and Dante got in a car crash. That didn't help either. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6422725/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6422725/ Mon, 05 Sep 2005 12:22:03 PDT
Damn pussys.....the damn lot of ya'. Mother fucking bitches!

I was watching what Bush had to say about the soldiers over there trying to help. he said that they were doing a bad job and needs to do better. Some one needs to tell his ass to go grab a damn gun and go over there and let's see what he can do. I can't because they have what I look like at the white house.

Fucking fuck cock!

On a lighter note....I'm actually gonna start putting my art work up here now. It'll be in my scraps at first, but at this rate, I'll have 'em up on the page in no time. We'll just leave it all up to fate.

I found out that life isn't worth living for. It's bascially meaningless. Death....murder...chaos....sure there's life in it. Love...nature...joy, but if you think of it, they all cancel each other out. Pointless right. Why have one and not the other? Why have none? Questions of life that I'll leave God to answer.

Well I have more to say, but I have to kinda leave right now. I have something I have to do. I'll be back....maybe put one up....we'll just see. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6225730/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/6225730/ Sun, 14 Aug 2005 14:28:24 PDT
Some of the words are made up, and the rest I got from this cool ass site...toccionline. go there and check it out. Um...just came off from livejournal...missed out on a lot of things so now i gotta catch up. sadly I won't be on da long. I'll leave it along once again like an infant baby. I'm drawing so soon I'll be putting up some of my new art work. Then when that is over...I'll leave like an unwanted guest and come back whenever. *Sighs* OUr new house will be finished in Nov. The sad part about it now my folks will be going to "chruch"... of all places...well now i'm going to leave because frankly...I have nothing more to say. Bye. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5736707/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5736707/ Thu, 23 Jun 2005 17:46:06 PDT
Sit outside in a park and watch the flowers slowly and peacefully fall off as if they had all the time in the world?

Have you watched little kids play and flashed back of when you were a little one?

Watch a candle burn and write poetry in your head?

Have you walked into the room and see your folks cuddling (Although you want to be the last one to witness such a sight) and you can't help but want to cuddle with someone who loves you too?

I've done them all and more...I'm starting to get the phase, "Stop and smell the roses". I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I have to slow down. Spend time with those I love...be with those I love. Even though some of them can be asses sometimes. Yet I love them still. I'll miss them still. *Sighs* It's the small things that makes life worth living...not the big or the things that stands out...the small...the things that you haven't really noticed until it's too late. I get that now...I understand. All it took was someone to yell at me. Someone who I no longer think I'll care for. *Sigh* I say it...but I don't mean it. Why? I treated him like dirt before and now...it's all cahnged. "Life is a box.." My ass. Mine... half way empty glass. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5663135/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5663135/ Thu, 16 Jun 2005 06:28:22 PDT "A man just got shot" I laugh.
"You're friends don't like you." I laugh.
"Can't see why you are who and what you are." Again...I laugh.
Everything seems to be funny. Now, I don't laugh out loud. I laugh on the inside because I don't want to be hunted down by someone who took offence to it. Although, that too would be funny. I don't know. Maybe it's the summer air or the fact that I have nothing else to do but laugh. *Sighs* Well whatever...funny to me is still funny to me. I'm tired so...whatever. *laughs* ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5563458/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5563458/ Sun, 05 Jun 2005 18:49:41 PDT
*sigh* Just got back from D.C. So very tired. No one likes me when I'm this way. I sometimes become very bitchy or what not. Whatever my mother says. aNot only that, I'm cranky. And pissed about this bad weekend. Left early on saturday. Was suppose to be back by Sunday morning, but my mother's shitty car broke down. *Shakes head* See, Friday I had a date. Another bad date to remember. With me being 18, I can now search like an adult. Although this world is polluted with assholes, it's gonna take me forever just to find Ms. or Mr. right. Which now I have somewhat given up on. Pitty. Anyway, my weekend would have been fine if it wasn't for those damn chain letters people kept sending me. I tried over and over to tell them not to send me those damn things. Do they ever listen? NO!!! Maybe it's all in my head. I think it might be. That are fate is just screwing around with me to see what it needs to do. I know one thing fate can do and it ain't (Yes, using bad english) pretty. Gonna take a hot nice shower. First, learned my lesson, gonna turn off the ac. Turn it off I will. Then I'm gonna call Johnny Boi and ask him about this up coming Friday. I might even let him treat me out. But that would be wrong and bad of me to do so. To mess around with one's emotions, Why it's just plan out wrong!... Making it all the more fun. But I'll try my best not too. Girl scouts honor.

ZZZZZZZZZZ..... ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5520664/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5520664/ Wed, 01 Jun 2005 11:14:53 PDT hot..."date". When another female/male walks by and your "hot" date watches her/him until she'he is no longer in your sight. Nor theirs. You following me? Good. They turn around as if nothing has happened and goes on with what they were saying b4 she/he walked by. Now you were thinking that this was gonna be a prefect date. That nothing could go wrong until God had just proven you wrong. *looks up* Nice one. *sighs* The "date" is now "over" and he leans in 4 a kiss. Do you give it to him? Do you not and just walk back into your house? No, you move out of the fucking way and slap his happy-go-lucky-ass back into reality. Oh, and if that don't make you happy or pleased, you push him over the god-damn railing and he lands his little ass in dog shit. You walk into the house with a smile on you face and take a nice long hot shower... And then you climb into you bed and now you are at peace. *Sighs* Thus giving you your joy and peace all in one night. Peace out everyone. I hope that next time your date goes better than this one you just had. *looks up* I swear, that was a good one. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5358202/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5358202/ Sat, 14 May 2005 17:57:11 PDT Yes, I did say it. Tattoos. Gonna get them I have money from my Uncle P. He's paying for 'em. Gonna get six of 'em on the 28th. I just can't wait. I've also been drawing more. Coloring 'em up on the pc. Just gotta post 'em up here. I'll do that soon...hopefully. I've also been writing. Did something daring with a recent story I've been writing. Sent it to a publishing company. *crosses fingers* Just waiting to hear back from them. *dances* So far so good my weekeneds been going. Minus the in and out of the fucking hospital thing. That's where I'm at now. On my Uncle P's notebook. It's a Dell. Well I have to go now. I'm running up his batteries. Peace out peoples. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5288090/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5288090/ Fri, 06 May 2005 19:58:04 PDT Yes ladies and gents...girls and boys....little and tall....it is so. I may have gotten in trouble today...but it was fucking worth it. Worth what you say? The four birthday gifts I've got from SN and Brandon. Let's just say I have all the Inu-Yasha men, minus one and a tee-shirt. *dances* Such joy has become me! ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5211918/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5211918/ Thu, 28 Apr 2005 10:53:20 PDT
Goodnews: I won't be thinking of killing myself. Or dreaming of it. Or daydreaming of it. Or writing about it. Or having other SHIT HEADS talk or mention it. In fact, I chose not to think of anything morbid or whatnot. A waste of my time.

Badnews: I'm going to have to delete anything and everything that you guys posted up here. It's way too much to look at and I'll never look at thim in time. I have over 2,000 of DA art that I have to look at. And there is no way in hell that I can look at the all. So bye-bye.

Badnews #2: Don't come to me with your problems until after May15th because I just won't care. I'll listen, but after that, you're own your own. I have my own ordeal that I'm going through right now. Can't deal with both yours and my problems. Sorry...wait, no..no I'm not.

Badnews #3: I'll be spending the summer up in PA with my cousins. Yeah, it might sound good, but the reason for going does not. So no road trip. No traveling. No nothing. So yeah. It'll be somewhat fun...I hope.

Well that's all I have to say for now. I might not be on for somedays, but I'll try my best. Bye..and maybe for good. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5119686/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5119686/ Mon, 18 Apr 2005 10:27:48 PDT
Saturday night would've been good if I didn't take a long drive to Newport with my mother. It was a long ass fucking drive. She got to nagg and fuss at me the whole way there. No rest stops! I had to piss real badly too! Yet she refused to stop! I think my insides are all messed up now. *clings to stomach* I went to babysit for my aunts. As in more than one. Try 4 and all of them with children under the age 8. If it wasn't fot the 4year old, I would have killed them. She did my hair this morning since I stayed the night over there. Well nights. She's really smart and has high hopes and wishes. I just wonder who will tell her that what she hopes for and wishes for will not come true?

Our family reunion is coming up. Like I'm happy about that. I won't be going. Plus it's in Septmber. A month I hate. I won't be starting school until sometime in October. *jumps for joy* Means more time for me to have fun. I'm not going to the family reunion because the people I wish to see will be in college. My cousins. I rarely see them now. I talk with them over and msn but that just isn't enough. Not at all. Plus one of them is going through some things and I'm not able to be there for her. I want so badly to be, but I can't. My mom said one week in May she’ll let me stay with my cousins. For one week! No school, but I will hav eto gather my work for that one week. Not only that, but I know they are going to stare at me funny there. Just because I don't "believe". Now I'll repeat this to everyone once fucking more! It's not that I don't believe...because I do. I just can't pick a religion out of a hat. So I choose not to have one. Plus, they’re no better. Some of them do drugs or just got out from jail and doing stuff to get back in. Shit heads…*glance* Danmit people! Get a damn life! *Pulls out gun and shoots up photos of family memebers* Now I feel a little bit better.

Oh, get this. My family is ignoring me. Well not my bros’, but everyone else. There’s been a lot of “family time” going on around my house. Yep. “family time”. Just so happens that I’m always out of the house or upstairs doing whatever. *stare* Not sleep. *growls* Not Fucking Sleping!!! I’ve been up. I’ve been around. I mean who has time to sleep when I’m doing house work all the fucking day!!! I just want to me loved and not ignored. I feel so…blah. Who cares? Not me. I never care. *tear*

Anger…anger has be come me. No, I’ve become anger. It’s the other way around. I donno. Been to busy to take notice. My mom had to come out and tell me that she was mad at me on wensday. Like I was suppose to care. Was I? I just figured out, that people tell you stuff like that because they are waiting to see if you have something to say. Something to get rid of their “anger”. Here’s a hint, “Get the fuck over it.” Maybe that’s rude…maybe that’s mean….maybe that’s being selfish or not thinking of other’s feelings…no…I think it is. I’m use to the anger and the hate. It’s part of my life…now and forever. Well maybe not forever because some heads will roll if they step to me the wr... ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5033126/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/5033126/ Fri, 08 Apr 2005 10:06:48 PDT ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4924385/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4924385/ Sun, 27 Mar 2005 11:50:30 PST ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4893601/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4893601/ Wed, 23 Mar 2005 18:09:29 PST I don’t, I was…still am…busy with my own self) I’m not sorry. Well, maybe a little because I mighta got you like that or what not, but still, I donno. I would say sorry to someone like I don’t know… Jonathan, but I’m not because I’m not speaking to you. So nah! Anyway, those dreams of me dying…I still have ‘em. I’m just always young in them and my best friend (yes you LB) is always the one killing me. Well not always, just most of the time. But the one I had yesterday, I fought for my life. Like I actually wanted to live. *Falls out of chair laughing* Yeah right. If the chance presented itself, I would die for it. LOL. Man, I’m stupid. Maybe it’s a change I’m going through. Maybe it’s a change I need to go through. Before, changed scared me. Well not scared me, but I would of never welcomed it with open arms. Yet now…I want it so badly. I want to forever stay this way. To always smile for no or give my mom a hug or kiss out of the blue. To actually cook and not hate it (*stare* Yes I can cook). To walk by people and not wait for them to say “hi”. I love this new me. I’m writing poems about love or the kindness of nature. Stuff like that. My stories are…well…they…stayed the same. Hmm…anyway, it’s cool. I love to sing now. Sometimes I catch myself singing out in public. Or even dancing! It’s wonder! *Stare* Who ever damn nears mess this up for me I would hate you with the fire of thousand suns. Not only that, I would make you life living hell or worse. Trust me, you don’t want to fuck with this chick. *Big grin* Now, Like I was saying, I can finally smile ant there be some meaning behind it. Some meaning . I got to go now, I was going to cook tonight, but my cousins want to treat me out so I won’t be doing any cooking. At least not ‘till Thursday. I’m going to go and listen to my “Quiet Moments” cd. It’s “A soulful blend of guitar and ocean.” My physicist gave it to me. I know see her once ever week. *Twitches* But it’s ok!!! *Twitches* I…*twitches* like her. *Twitches then hits self in the gut* And a pretty big gut I have. LOL. There I go again, being silly and actually loving it. Well, ciao ciao for now. ~.~ ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4875063/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4875063/ Mon, 21 Mar 2005 18:05:31 PST God damn your soul to the pits of HELL!!! ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4813440/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4813440/ Mon, 14 Mar 2005 18:00:15 PST ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4780592/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4780592/ Thu, 10 Mar 2005 19:26:50 PST Unwanted help. But I'm cool with it... I guess. The sucidal thoughts are gone for now. *dances around* Yay. Working on a new play. Got to scene six...then I lost it. Ah, but who cares. Anyway, I'm doing just alright. Could be better, but dued to "people" I'm pretty lacking in the happy department. But I'm getting there. I have my silly moments which keep my in check. And the people who somewhat care for me. I'm feeling loved. I just hope the feeling don't fade. *Clings onto now* I drew something too, but i sent off to my cousin because she needed it more than I do. "I hear for you JT!" That's my nickname for her. Anyway, Jabri(sp?) asked my a really good question one day. "How come you don't look so depressed?" Or someting along that line. The answer, very simple. Because if you look sad or show any emotion other than "happy"; people will crowd you to figure out whats wrong. And I for one, hate people. They don't even have to like you. Luck for me...I care for those I know. *glances to the left, than to the right* To some piont. If push comes to shove, I won't mind droping a friend in a heartbeat. "Cold, Cierra." Well, I guess I missed the part where I was suppose to give a damn. Something else good happened to me also tonight. But I'm going to drop it on people like a bomb. Although most of 'em won't care. Oh well. Their not going to stop me. And it's this one single thought that keeps popping into my head. I'm not going to say what it is, but I'm hoping it'll go away before someting bad really does happen. O.o Anyways, that's all i have to say now. I have more, but JB just called and has someting "important to say. Peace out and me cares for you all. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4743577/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4743577/ Sun, 06 Mar 2005 14:09:11 PST Mood: :roll eyes: you tell me
Watching: Home videos of my Birthdays
Listing to: Moulin Rouge Soundtrack

I use to look so happy. *sigh* I don’t know what to call this journal. What do you think I should call it? Alright, here’s the just of how I’m feeling. Sad, ignored, alone, pissed, depressed, unloved, and hated (Which really isn’t a bad thing ). Maybe it’s just the negativity going around. I don’t know. I just haven’t been happy since I lost my “happy” pills. They use to make feel horny like a jackrabbit, but now, without them, I feel like jumping off a bridge. :Crying: I lost them. Now what am I to do? I could just go on living with my life and pretend there is nothing wrong with me…*stare* but there is a lot of things wrong for me. Yet that is for another time. And everything I’m writing has been about death or someone I know dying in my arms (Which I will soon post in DA ) I just have to “think” happy. But how? I feel like any moment I’m going to burst into flames! I can’t hold on any longer. I can’t keep quiet! Yet I have too. I haven’t a choice. No one wants to hear what I have to say or see what I’m going through. A waste of people’s time I am. I feel like my matters are trivial to that of others. No one can help me even if they tried. Just ask my physiatrist (Although, not the same one). It’s going on 7 years now and I’m still seeing her. *shakes head* I felt like crying one day, but when I passed my reflection in the mirror I smashed it and shrugged it off. I should of cried. I mighta felt a lot better if I did. Yet I promised to myself, the only way I was ever going to cry was if it dealt with someone else other than me. And I’m going to stay true to that. I’ll see to it. Not one that, I’ve been picking up the most weight around the house. From cleaning to cooking and to seeing that my brothers are in bed on time. It’s a stress and it’s all the stupid bitches fault. “Just a little longer.” That’s what I got to keep telling myself that. See, my folks have to work late… very late. The reason behind it doesn’t matter. Well, that’s all I have to say. Peace up. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4629993/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4629993/ Sun, 20 Feb 2005 13:56:14 PST It's just me. But I wasn't dreaming or making it up when she stepped to me. Nope, not at all. I could see if I really did it. (Blamed me for opening up her mail). Yet I didn't. I was playing a game on the XB. Minding my own business when she came storming in. Little bitch that she is. SShe's just mad that she got her ass kicked. (For those who don't know, Debbie is my sister and on Wensday, she got her ass kicked). You would think that she'd act different, but she doesn't. I guess she's got used to getting her ass beat.

Let me ask you this, how can something so good be so bad? I donno. I mighta grown out of it, but I grew out of it all too fast. Maybe M is right. Maybe it's all in my head and these problems or thoughts aren't real. Maybe I have to learn to jus let go. *sighs* I use to love to and now I can't. I can't even stay focus anymore.

I got picked for this thing. Really cool thing. It mighta been because of this poem I entered or what not. Anyway, the awards thing is this Tuesday ate 6. Good right? Wrong. ZMy mother refuses to just shut up about it. Telling all of her friends and everything. Going on and on about it. Maybe it's because of this is one of the things that make her proud of me. Minus the fact that I do most of the cleaning around the house.

Man, this seems like a very long rant. Is it just me? I'm trying to keep everything in my life simple so that I won't or others won't ask that annoying question, "Why?" Just something about that word pisses me the hell off. Maybe.... again, it's just me. *hits head* It's all in my head. It's all in my head. It's all in my head. It's all in my head. *screams*

Moving on, I think I'm going to show a lot of ...what's that word, oh yeah, to the world. You know. Because if it seems like I care, something bad or wrose always happens to me, but if it seems like I don't care, something good happens. I could care deep inside. *Knocks on chest* Of course once I gain some insides.
Got mu SAT scores back. this one is better. I'm a little proud of myself. Just a little. Not trying to get to cocky like most of the people I know. *Sighs* Pity.

I'm think about going into law enforcement. I want to save lives and not of any I know. Also so that I can get a rush when I do it. When I told my mom, she freaked out. I mean Freaked out I never seen her so worked up b4. Ok, maybe I have when my Stepdad was talking about getting a gun...and another pet. My stepdad was proud that I was following in his footsteps. (He himself worked for the law, but he retired from that job and picked up another trade).

Also, I'm starting to think that people are stupid and aren't worth my time. Shame really. Kinda happy that's it happening 'cause I can be cold about something towards some one and feel very happy within myself. Than again, it's also a bad thing..isn't it. Oh well.

I had plans for Monday for me and LB to hang out woth each other over my house, but because some things have happened, it's been called off. I've tried(only once because I was busy. To call her and tell her, but no one picked up. I would try and call h er today, but my mother to our phone out of the room to that stupid bitch who I share it with. It's kinda upsetting. Really it is. But in a way...I donno. I wanna say I'm mad about it. At the time my mother told me I was, but now, I'm kinda...how do you say, going with the flow of things. Maybe God has something in store for me like killing Debbie and I'm to be there to see. http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4605394/ Thu, 17 Feb 2005 09:44:21 PST Moods:
Listening to: Classical Mix
Watching:People act stupid

This is a rant because I'm pissed and depressed. It's not a hate rant so if you take this the wrong way then you are an ass and should be shot. If not shot then hung. Either way, you'll die painfully.

I hate it when people look for me to answers like I know them. Most of the time, I do, but other times I do not.

I hate it when people get all pissy over a name! Get a damn life and move on! I swear, if I had a dollar for everytime someone got mad because I called them a name or made fun of them I'd be "Richie Rich."

Just because I don't ask you what's the matter doesn't mean I don't care. Sometimes, And other time times, I just don't give a damn! If you don't tell me what's wrong, I am not going to ask. Why should I?

If I'm reading and you come and take my bookaway, You better start running because if I don't get it back within the second you will be dead within the hour.

I still have more I have to say. This little rant didn't even calm me down not one bit. *Lays down* I'll have to go, but I will finish this. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4563230/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4563230/ Sat, 12 Feb 2005 15:37:14 PST ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4536663/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4536663/ Wed, 09 Feb 2005 09:36:21 PST *sighs* I have this friend and she is going to have a baby. But she doesn't want it. She wants to have an...I can't say it, but hopefully you get the picture. I don't know what to do and she is so depressed about it. I want to help her, but I can't. Nothing I say is making her feel anybetter. So now, I feel like shit. SWo what sould I do? This is problem #1. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4526680/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4526680/ Tue, 08 Feb 2005 05:17:47 PST Now something I can feel! "Victory!" And it "Feels so good" Now I'm not so depressed. I'm still depressed and all, but not so much anymore. A little happy I guess you can say. *sigh* So depressed I just want to curl into a ball and never come out of it. Why must I be so weak? So soft? Why? And on top od that, I'm sick...again. In only three ways. *Goes back dancing* But I'm still happy for NE. *hugs a poster of the team* And I shall always be happy if they win... *stare* um...*looks both ways* I'll still be happy if they...it they...*cough* anyway, "Th-th-th-that's all folks" ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4503876/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4503876/ Sat, 05 Feb 2005 13:33:43 PST I'm ready for everything. Just bring it on! Bring it you asses! *clears throat* Anyway, that test made me think a lot on the way home. Like how i'm slowly dying. Not really, speaking metophoicly(sp). Everythin' i once desire and everythin' i wanted is fading a way. I wish not to have it anymore. *sighs* Maybe it's just me or maybe I'm slow. I'll get over it. I always do, but I'm now starting to think that maybe keepin' it all in inside is a very bad thin'. I guess I just don't want to dump my problems on other people. They have their own shit to deal with, they don't need to deal with mines. Well anyway, that's it for now. I won't be on DA for a while. I will be on tomorrow, but after that, not until the end of this month. Outtie. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4448513/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4448513/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 20:26:49 PST ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4444976/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4444976/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 11:54:22 PST ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4394398/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4394398/ Sun, 23 Jan 2005 13:53:06 PST On pressing matters, someone sent me a dozen roses today. I don't know from who, but it was kind of 'em. It did freak me out a little...well a lot. It read, "We met in school last year. Although this year has yet to changne. You have very pretty eyes. You were always able to make me laugh. Even when I was down. Here are a dozen roses just for you. Hope you write back soon. [e-mail address here]" and it was sign, "Your secret lover". Dude...i was just about to lose my mind when i read it. My sister thought it was sweet(*stare* she is no longer with is)...which it was, don't get me wrong. But sending me flowers....roses even(don't like roses) and not giving me a name is rude and unjust. At least in my books. I don't know, maybe i'm just not a romantic.
Another pressing matter, I hate the damn snow and ice. I hate 'em! Don't ask me why, because i really don't know why. I mean, it looks so peaceful when it's still. When it makes a beautiful landscape. It is, but other then that, I hate it. Mostly because I hate the cold. But then again, who doesn't? No, I mean it, who desn't hate the cold?
Well, that is all I have to say for now. I'll say something later...maybe. Stay safe and warm people. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4095338/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/4095338/ Sat, 18 Dec 2004 12:37:42 PST ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3965373/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3965373/ Wed, 01 Dec 2004 15:23:22 PST
That's what I'm going to do once someone hands me a gun. Well...when josh hands me a gun. If he hand me a gun. Just end my life before it carries on any more and become even more like dog shit. I've gotten my life to cat poo. *Looks up into the sky* That should at least count for somethin'! My mom said to me yesterday, "Cierra, is everything alright? You seem kind of dark, kind of withdrawn." All I did was look at her, shot her an evil glare and went back to sleep. (She woke me while I was sleeping...soundly...for a change...almost 8 full hours...ruin...by her.) I guess I should look on the bright side. *Looks on the bright side* Wait, there is no bright side! Maybe...if I ...cr...cry, I'll feel much better. Nah, don't think so. Crying is such a waste of time. Maybe if I at least pretend to "seem" happy. Nah, because them when it's all over, I'd be all bitchy. Although there's enough of that going on now. *Bangs head on table* I've been writing a lot of poetry lately. Very dark ones. Some about suicide. Mrs.D...she read a couple of 'em. She was not pleased. I think...nope, I know she thinks me crazy and wouldn't be surprised if I was in the news one day. I wouldn't even be surprised. So I say this for all to read..."I need help." There, I said it. I need a change for the better of mankind. And if not for the better of mankind, then for the better of me. Which I doubt will happen. Oh, well. *Tries ro cut self...with a spork* "I know stupid, but It was the only they had in the lunch room. Yes, yes, yes, I tried to cut myself with a spork during lunch. So what! What are you going to do about it?! Nothing! Just as I thought. Useless!" (By te way, I'm talking to my inner self) What else can I say. It's wendsday. :nods I hate fucking wendsday's now. Oh...the Arbby's that was in front of my house is no longer there. *Cries* Now what am I suppose to eat after two weeks of lunch money. Man, I'm going to miss their combo meals. T_T their cheese fries. I'll get over it...sooner or later. Well, I'm gonna end it here. J.B. and I are emailing eachother back and forth and he has a problem he wants help with...again. So now I must direct my attention towards him. Yet I shall return...maybe not. ]]> ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3708574/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3708574/ Sat, 30 Oct 2004 12:40:53 PDT ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3693415/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3693415/ Thu, 28 Oct 2004 10:24:33 PDT ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3617905/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3617905/ Mon, 18 Oct 2004 10:51:37 PDT ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3604273/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3604273/ Sat, 16 Oct 2004 14:46:56 PDT ~DragonVamp http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3572398/ http://DragonVamp.deviantart.com/journal/3572398/ Tue, 12 Oct 2004 10:53:12 PDT ~DragonVamp