http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:DrayVonGoff&section=today deviantART RSS for by:DrayVonGoff en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:49:07 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/28371249/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/28371249/ Sun, 15 Nov 2009 09:52:18 PST
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27783187/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27783187/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:42:53 PDT









so says Freud, who was probably high at the time.




and yet, I still feel as though I mean nothing to him. Do I have to be perfect for him to recognise me?

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27522952/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27522952/ Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:31:23 PDT but yes, university is going fine, I need to get a bit fitter though, as we do quite a lot of warm-ups as they are clearly needed, and running about X3 oh the studious life of an actor =o
anyway, new stuff may or may not be uploaded for some time, and I may just be generally even more quieter as I get into the groove of things.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27302706/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27302706/ Sat, 19 Sep 2009 15:17:54 PDT
University starts up for me on monday, well it'll be induction week. See how thaat goes. I reckon i'll mess this up again, or just be generally useless and pathetic and hated and not feel comfortable or get along with anyone. I'm ugly and fat.

why do I spend so many hourson this computer just staring at a screen, hoping for one person who will mildly talk to me to come online? and just being blanked by so many others... and hoping for something...

I need to do more, but.. nothing has satisfaction anymore. I hate my art, and my ideas I feel would be better in someone else's hands...

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27212497/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27212497/ Mon, 14 Sep 2009 16:13:09 PDT


and it felt so hollow

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27195594/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27195594/ Sun, 13 Sep 2009 16:58:05 PDT
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27157255/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/27157255/ Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:10:27 PDT
somethings happening in three days, woooo

University is happening in little over a week. arghhhhh

new Muse album, new Rammstein, new Megadeth, new Powerman 5000, yay.

and I got tagged x3 on the BACK WITH A STICKY NOTE

1ST : If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own journal.
2ND : TAG 7 PEOPLE AND PUT THEIR ICON IN YOUR JOURNAL.
3RD : TELL THE 7 PEOPLE WHO U TAGGED THAT THEY HAVE BEEN TAGGED.
OK LETS START!

1. Who is your celebrity crush?
Emilie Autumn. is she a celbrity? X3 sophie howard? lets also say Judy from Richard and Judy for some laughs. ohhh, Johnny Depp. Matt Bellamy. does Harley Quinn count?

2. What are you most excited for?
the 15th of this month. university sort of. meeting sparky again |3

3. What was the last thing you bought?
Batteries. Lots of them. TO POWER MY IRON MAN SUIT

4. What was the cutest thing you've seen today?
babies with tentacles growing out of their backs, and them then latching onto my FACE

5. Does the weather affect your mood?
yeah it does, sometimes, not usually

6. Tell me 5 things you can't live without:
Tinternet
Friends
Gary
Video gamez
guitar
some form of being creative
..Sparky >.>

7. Say something to the person who tagged you:
WIIIIIIFE. also, pink'n'blue

people I tag with sticky notes;
:icon-whoever-the-hell-else-wants-to-do-this:

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/26397628/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/26397628/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:36:16 PDT
first time on an airplane, and I'm a bit scared of heights, but it was quite relaxing =3
First day in Roma spent wandering around, looking at things and getting bearings. The streets are so wide and huge there compared to London. And generally a bit cleaner x3
The drivers there seem a bit.. crazy though =o just speeding about, and cutting past each other. Even just slowly reversing if they made a wrong turn, getting in other peoples way X3 crossing the streets did seem like quite a race each time X3
On the second day, went to the Sistine Chapel in the morning. Really lovely art in there, and just the way its laid out. Really impressive I thought. And in the afternoon, had a tour around some catacombs, which was pretty cool. Went to a church that was quite an interesting example of how everything in Roma is just built up on top of older buildings and whatnot. And lastly, went to the Capuci (think thats how its spelt) bone crypt. That was just wow, everything in there made from the bones of monks from over 130 years old. Its so detailed, and all the symbols and stuff they made..
The third day was to a degree a hectic day. Since getting into Roma, I'd try to get in touch with a certain chu via mobile phones, but they didn't seem to want to work at all, but luckily, the hotel I was at had internet access and we emailed each other and met up also my friend Pringle helped establish what the problem was by being the middle man between me and sparky X3
Anyway, we met up, had some lunch, went around the city on a tour bus to see some sites and to get to the Colosseum. The Colosseo is pretty damn huge and awesome I thought. Then had a peek around the Roman Forums and we hung out together for some time =3 to which, I must get better at Brawl, and give him a better match sometime soon X33 Also, this artist guy near the Colosseo did a profile of my face which is pretty sweet x3
oh something I found a bit funny, a lot of people are out at like 10/11 at night getting ice creams (they seem to be very popular there d= ), and just sorta compared that to a typical 10/11 o'clock street scene here in England, where everyone would be drunk, or with beers/alcohol in their hands rather than ice creams X3

So yeah, I only had three days there really, as my flight to was middle of Saturday, and my flight back was early this morning. I really wanna go back though, its just so beautiful, and didn't touch on everything that is there.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/26304039/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/26304039/ Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:21:57 PDT
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/25758039/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/25758039/ Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:08:51 PDT
in other news, 360's gt repaired quite quick. Tales of Vesperia is decent, [Prototype] is quite fun, Star Ocean The Last Hope is evil and i'm not gonna dare try and finish it.

How is everyone else doing in like and such though?

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/25621870/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/25621870/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 05:35:20 PDT
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/25267322/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/25267322/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 05:45:41 PDT
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/25139485/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/25139485/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 08:31:15 PDT
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/24895427/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/24895427/ Fri, 22 May 2009 18:17:59 PDT ah well, just means I can't reply to comments or submit too often, because its so fickle. Like it could be loaded quickly, or take forever or get timed out =x so I dare not send messages f they never actually go anywhere cause of packet delays and stuff X3

well, not like I have much to upload really anyway.. uh.. i've been quite in a slump for the last months, just drawing things on random. Its annoying. But oh well.

also, I really want to shift to drawing more.. meaningful things. If you understand what I mean there. Just.. I feel like i'm not really that good, and I dunno, I think i'll get better if I do poppy pretentious art meaningful stuff that delves into the human soul? Or maybe that I could express myself better then..

oh yeah, i'm hooked on Lost at the moment too. Anyone see the series 5 finale? just keeps getting more confusing, yet makes so much sense at the same time D=

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/24108341/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/24108341/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 08:49:12 PDT
Right, lets just say, right now for the last couple of days, despite its been an ongoing thing for the last couple of months, I feel quite hopeless that there is nothing in my future. And scarily enough, for the last few days, I've actually given suicide too much thinking time. It used to be that I wouldn't even think about it because there used to be some sort of glimmer of hope that maybe something will turn up to be a turning point in making things that little bit better, just as I top myself. But now, thats not stopping me, there is nothing to come, the future is just a big scary blank void. Its scary because, of all the technology and advances and everything becoming shifted towards being stuck at a computer all day long, and lawsuits and misinterpretation and word-twisting. So now with the future lost, its shifted more to a fear of what comes after this life. I really don't want to dice it that after dying you get reincarnated, because i've had enough of this world and time and all its contradictions and complications. And what if its worse.

I can't seem to do anything right now for long either. Theres so much I want to do for people, and things i've been trying to do for so bloody long, but i'm just useless and they'll be long gone by the time I finally get something done for them, cause they'll have had enough of me and my pathetic whining. Seriously, I just keep falling into like slumps where I want to do stuff, but can't get my body to move.

another thing on my mind is someone. He knows who he is, and this'll be like one of those journals where I don't say who they are but everyone can guess, most likely, I dunno. I'm not hiding his name cause he's done anything, but rather i've done all the bad, because i'm a terrible useless friend and person. I'm just depressive and snarky and pathetic. I refute and challenge everything said to me, rather than just taking something I don't understand. Theres also this stupid complication of feelings... yeah.. I know... i'm a teen, or something, maybe i'm just late in entering this phase, but i'm just confused over who I really am. Or want to be. Or want in my life. I want him.. or something, I can't explain it very well. But nonetheless to say, I always end up hurting him, because i'm brilliant at doing that, all I do is hurt people or annoy them or something. I'm not very good for much. Which then brings onto the point of love and what is it, and how should I know what it is, and will I ever get love, which being in the hopeless mindset i'm currently in, seems very unlikely that I will. Also, I feel trapped behind some sort of glass wall, in that, I can sort of talk to people and interact, but I don't really feel like i'm part of anything, or in any group or thought of, or wanted or needed.

I'm just a monsterousity. I'm that villain character everybody hates because their stupid and idiotic and hasn't got any cool lines or looks. I just blast people with flames when they try to help because I can't understand or connect with people at all... I am a dragon. I am a beast whom should be slain. Feared and loathed. Alone.

sorry for being so whiny and pathetic and all... and for always alienating everyone. I'm a bad person

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/23699001/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/23699001/ Sat, 14 Mar 2009 17:51:26 PDT
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.


also, ignore that last journal, stupid idea of mine, hopefully i'll post some stuff soon though if I stop being so derned lazy.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/23453491/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/23453491/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 15:18:13 PST
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/22926616/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/22926616/ Sat, 31 Jan 2009 16:13:31 PST sorry for like, not updating my page with anything for what seems like all month xP i've been busy redecorating my room, and been a rather down, but hopefully that goes away... so updates now =3
I've been thinking of opening up art trades and requests =o mainly cause one of the main things why i've not uploaded any art (if any of you really care XP) is cause i've not had any ideas or motivation. So perhaps having something like that with an image and stuff in my mind. Or even if you can give me tips or such on getting motivated and focused, that would be GREATLY appreciated =3
Also, been thinking, would anyone be interested in doing a sort of contest? You know the typical scenario and stuff.. xP
I've also been trying to improve in general areas of my drawings, so my stuff may seem quite experimental and in a way, flimsy yet flexible (I think thats how I mean to say it..). And also, does anyone have any kind of ideas for a new I.D. I could do? Just throw anything out to get thought showers going XP

oh, and I should say, if I seem distant, or agitated, or something like that, its either my medication or depression flaring up >.> just thought i'd throw that out there.. give ya a heads up I guess.

anyway, I shall attempt to draw some stuff XP and update more this month d=

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/22380139/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/22380139/ Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:38:13 PST after some thinking, i've decided my new years resolutions I will forget about by February are: be more active in general things, continue to try be more cheery and make some of my own clothes =o x3

also, the actor who's playing the new doctor was announced today, and its me x3 naw, though it would be awesome x3 the actual new guy is cool though, he's fairly unknown, but the few things i've seen him in he was quite good. So he should be alright, he's young and general eye candy XP anyone wanna know who it is ask XP anyone who wishes not to acknowledge Tennants departure as the doctor, don't hurt me D= x3

*flies off in a Tethered Aerial Release, Developed In Style*

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/22170577/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/22170577/ Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:51:10 PST
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21771072/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21771072/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:15:08 PST anyway-- moving on in a swift manner, a friend told me to try and act more positive and get a more optimistic mindset. So yeah, I want to change, I really really want to, but its the doing thats the hardest part. I don't know where to start from, or where to keep going, or if i'm doing it right... so, i'm going to do like he suggested and write down about my feelings and then what i'd like to change.. so, lots of words probably coming up.

Firstly, a general depression I can't shake, because i'm not doing anything to occupy my mind. I'm just sitting about hoping people will take notice of me, but thats not really helpful, I have to do something to get results. I do believe after what happened today, i'm having a proper discussion with my GP about possible treatments..
My anger has been flaring up a bit more recently too. Most likely connected with the depression. I just tend to snap at people a lot (this is in actual life mainly) and start shouting arguments that just get me in trouble. I've not been sleeping a whole deal too well either, so that might be fueling that.
Paranoia. I've had this quite awhile. I'm always thinking people hate me or are saying something about me behind my back, or are going to take my ideas, which is another point why I rarely give out my thoughts to people. Doesn't help either that it would be quite obvious that some of my old friends have moved on without me. It was like this GCSE time though...
I want to be heard better. I can sometimes say whats on my mind, but I say it in a cryptic fashion. I'm probably doing it now in fact, despite earnest attempts not to be confusing. I don't feel like i'm being represented very well by various other people, such as the tutors at college and councilors.. I've kinda felt to a degree, they've dropped me directly into what it is thats really fueling my depression, acting as if its helping me.
Highs and lows, i've been getting them a lot apparently. Dunno what thats from.
I want to do something a bit more than kinky furry weirdness (no offence dudes, I just want to broaden my horizon), but again I don't know where to start really. And I have a big feeling guilt about those people I feel i've let done or generally disgusted because of it. There are people I need to get back to talking with more myself...
I'm quite critical of myself as well. I will always say about how rubbish I feel at something. Or highlight how other people can do such and such way better than me.
Thinking way too much throughout the day about past regrets, decisions made and all the people I think i've hurt. Because lets face it, i'm a less than stella human being who used to think they could help people, but got slammed back in the face by the people I thought I was helping, so now I think I can't help anyone at all and that i'm not a good friend at all.
I also need to work on being socialable. I've been messing up what few friendships I have also, recently.. to those people i'm sorry..

Ok.. now for the change part.
I want to be a better friend to everyone. To all the people I know, the best I can.
I want to get out more, or at least have something more to do in the evening than sit around at the computer.
Act more openly towards people. Be more trusting and not so vindictive.
Curb my anger again. Someone suggested Yoga, which I dunno if I could do X3 but I could give it a go.
Find a way of expressing myself easier, like into writing for example. I draw yeah, but it frustrates me when the drawing turns out nothing like I intended. So with words, I could play with them a lot easier.
Gain confidence in my abilities.
Generally oust my depression, though that may take awhile, it will get done.

they're all the changes i'd like to do that come flooding to my mind. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to chip in. And would people be willing to help me stay on the course of helping myself change into a better person?

Well, thats the end at long last, congrats to anyone who reads through this grand wall of text.. and basically, I want change, so theres still some hope left that everything will be ok.. and that I can still forge a way in life.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21767974/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21767974/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:35:07 PST
i'm an angry young man, with ideals the world isn't interested in either hearing anymore, or just bluntly never wanting to hear them. i was born in the wrong time. but my death is at the right time.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21539044/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21539044/ Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:30:24 PST
but yesh, I got Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts to try and take my mind off of things. Its a rather good game, the humour and the feel is still there despite it being changed up from how it was seven years ago. The intro was hilarious I thought, most specifically the first challenge L.O.G. issues.
I like the vehicle aspect though, and Showdown Town is brilliant. Plus its fun to muck about making silly things like an insanely overpowered hover chairs, to flying motorbikes.
The game worlds are ok though, not as awe-inspiring as old worlds, though just as creative, I mean Nutty Acres is a really bizarre concept for a world I think, and Terrarium of Terror truly is terrifying. My favourite is the Jiggoseum though, a blend of the Roman colosseum, and modern sports X3 some of the best challenges in the game world I think.
But yeah, haven't beaten it yet, still got 15 Jiggies to go until that. I'm more than happy at the moment messing about with my newly acquired laser though.

also, what do people really want to see from me in terms of drawing and such?

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21472977/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21472977/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:47:48 PST
anyway, main point is, after thinking it through, i'm gonna stay and keep posting my less-than-stella-but-hopefully-improving art doodlings. Again, sorry to make you all worry, it was a selfish thing of me to do, to have posted that last journal.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21404563/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21404563/ Sun, 09 Nov 2008 12:28:15 PST
thanks to those few people that destroyed my mind just so that could fight and fight and eventually lose their own mind too.

i hate myself the most though, for not being a better person, for not being able to deal with this better as well as just being a whiny bitchy ball of hatred.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21369304/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21369304/ Fri, 07 Nov 2008 08:13:24 PST .> X3 i'm sure if my performing arts course hadn't fell through I could have stood a chance >.> x3333
but yesh, I dunno if its just a rumour, or something he said in passing. I'm sure other people more into it than me would know X3

in other news, Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts next week D= dunno whether to get it friday or wait till christmas. cause i'm sure if I get i'll be distracted from all the practising I should be doing for the christmas performance my music group has to perform in. But anyway, the demo rocks pretty much. Banjoland is smaller than I thought it would be though, but the music is an awesome orchestral blend of old favs D= Rusty Bucket Bay should have got more in it though D= x3

also, trying to be more cheerful and stuff, cause most people know me as quite depressive X3

and this made me laugh: [link]

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21185436/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21185436/ Mon, 27 Oct 2008 11:46:06 PDT

right basically, this gallery is no longer going to focus on fetishy things, cause I want to do more than that, and I want peace of mind.
I have no clue whats going to be uploaded here instead, probably stuff that shows me as a pretentious ass. oh wait, I am already. nonetheless trying to downplay the usual stuff for stuff that can help me actually improve on a style or something like that.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21051338/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/21051338/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:42:23 PDT
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20935043/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20935043/ Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:23:48 PDT
Needless to say, i'm not drinking that much in a forest ever again.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20547269/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20547269/ Thu, 18 Sep 2008 02:39:09 PDT I need to be better, is the main point of this. And don't be surprised if half of my 'gallery' disappears...

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20500341/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20500341/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 04:56:56 PDT anyway, yeah, yay to another year living, I think X3

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20455956/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20455956/ Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:17:23 PDT basically, after a lot of running about and sorting things out and interviews over the last couple of days of last week and early this week, i've got on an FD Music course, so i'll be doing music for this year X3 people in my class are really nice too, got the usual metallers, and chavs, and inbetweens, but they're all really open about music direction and tastes, so it should be a good year!

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20295507/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20295507/ Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:44:19 PDT
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20206300/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20206300/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:37:20 PDT cause I like these random things XP

Would you...

[] Push me into a wall and kiss me?
[] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[] Slap Me?
[] Slap me if i asked you to?
[] Kiss Me?
[] Let Me Kiss You?
[] Watch A Movie With Me?
[] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[] Take A Shower With Me?
[] Take Me Home For The Night?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[] Take Me Anywhere With You
[] Repost This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[] Let Me Make You Breakfast?
[] Make me breakfast?
[] Tickle Me?
[] Sleep with me?
[] Fuck me?
[] Let Me Tickle You?
[] Stick Up For Me If I Was Being Put Down?
[] Instant Message Me?
[] Greet Me In Public?
[] Hang Out With Me?
[] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[] Bring Me Around Your Friends?
[] Fall in love with me
[] Like me
[] Love me

Do You...

[] Miss Me?
[] Think I'm Sexy?
[] Think I'm Cute?
[] Think I'm Hot?
[] Think I'm Ok?
[] Think I'm Ugly?
[] Want To Kiss Me?
[] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[] Want To Date Me?

Am I...

[] Smart?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] Loveable?
[] Adorable?
[] Great To Be With?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?
[] Ugly?
[] Gorgeous?

Have You Ever...

[] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me Non Stop?
[] Wished I Were There?
[] Had A Crush On Me?
[] Wanted My Number?
[] Had A Dream About Me?
[] Been Distracted By Me?

Are You...

[] Happy You Know Me?
[] Thinking About Me
[] my friend?

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20029168/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/20029168/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:03:27 PDT



alsosomewhat annoyed. Can't do what I want, can't find the time to practise or whatever the fuck. Despite that the days are still long and boring. I've learnt a bunch of RATM songs for the hell of it, just need an actual whammy pedal now, probably ask for one for my birthday, hmm.. Life is so boring, i'm so dull. I can't draw my ideas well, then again I have no ideas, my head is so see through, so clear and transparent. But not clear, its befuddled with stupid thoughts. My 'ideas' that I have too, they're just nonsense and pathetic. Who cares about tragic tales of misconception and confusion leading to the death or loss of positive opportunities for a witty and possibly likable character that has characteristics people can relate. Nobody apparently because everybody hates Shakespeare. I feel like I don't mean anything to anybody. I can't image in my head what it is I want to do anymore, and when I do, i'm so confused about the route I have to take to make that look perfect as I possibly can. I've got so many voices in my head saying to do it like this, do it like that, and I just get fed up and don't bother doing anything at all. its all too tiresome. i'm tired now.
OOMPH!'s new album comes out this friday, as does Eisbrecher's I believe. Also Metallica finally releasing their album in september hopefully.
I whine too much, thats not a good thing. I shouldn't whine as much if I want things to get done, I should just do them.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19774956/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19774956/ Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:20:07 PDT Still quite confused on what it is I want to focus on or get better at, so feeling a bit stretched there. I want to be a well known dude that people like and stuff so I can use that to make friends cause i'm bad at talking and having things to talk about so yeah.
For some strange reason, don't feel like theres enough time to do anything. Odd that one.
Anyway, would appreciate like ideas for inspiration and stuff, may get me ticking again. Collab sort of stuff could be cool to do too. But really, theres things I want to do but can't seem to find the will or the right way to show it... strange indeed.
*goes back to trying to get that bloody intro to bombtrack perfected*

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19628201/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19628201/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 18:10:14 PDT
DESCRIBE
1. your room
like a small square, theres a door somewhere in it, opposite the door is my tv and loud-ass stereo which I use to annoy all the chavs outside with my weird stuff.load of cd's scattered about in front of my tv too. my bed is a bunk bed thingie, quite old and has some castle design to it X3
on the wall opposite my bed is my guitar a dragon holding a sword and a mirror decorated with dragons. some posters of like Angelspit and Rammstein and various others up.
Where my computer is (between my bed and window in a small alcove) are several shelves with books, coursework and dragon statues on, haphazardly organised.

2. your cellphone
complete rubbish. Text it or phone it, and it will die instantly, even on 'full charge'.

3. your boyfriend/girlfriend
Don't have one, am looking I guess?

4. your parents
one never been around, the other protective, but not too protective, and a bit slow at times >.>

5. your dream house
something with four walls, a marble fireplace and a harem perhaps D=

6. your favourite colours
purple definately x3 red and blue and orange too x3

7. person that you hate
is a complete poser and can't believe I was friends with someone like them.

8. your dream car
HOVERCAR

9. the school you are going to/went to
highschool? small and out in the countryside, rather nice people though, miss the place

10. things you hate about your life
being unmotivated and bored mainly. not getting the chances I want. lack of confidence

11. things you love about your life
creativity, music and the people i've met along the way, well in the last few years.

12. your bestfriends
he's crazy, bleached his hair and couldn't find the stuff he was going to dye it with, and has been wandering around with bright yellow hair since. He's great fun to be around though. random but awesome.

13. pet you have/you want to have
black labrador cross retreiver, lovely dog, getting quite old though poor thing and walks into stuff a lot and has a thing for sniffing crotches x3

14. things people that you miss the most
my history teacher at high school. He's the one who got me interested in the subject, enthused my music interests and was just a really awesome guy.

15. your kitchen
small and rectangular

16. your backyard
messy with a dilapitated tree house and pond

17. your wallet
boring

18. your favourite band
I jump from band to band liking a bunch, Megadeth and Muse will always be my top two though.

19. your current hair cut
blue fringed with black and pink highlights, changing it for autumn x3

20. the weather outside
its night

NOW FOR SOMETHING ELSE...

1. What is your preferred name?
Dray I guess?

2. Are you bored?
Not really

3. How's your life nowadays
getting better somewhat

4. Best friend from the opposite gender
R

5. Out of all of your bestfriends, who will you turn to when you have a problem?
EVERYONE NO ONE IS SAFE

7. Longest conversation had on the phone
about 40 minutes. HE NEVER GOES AWAY

8. Fave song?
Symphony of Destruction - Megadeth/Sailor - IAMX

9. Friends you miss
Frederick Ebert

10. whats on your mind right now?
Vooooore, YOUR BODY IN MY MOUTH, DEVILICIOUS

11. what are you listening to right now
Angelspit - Homo-Machinery

12. Do you think life is unfair
I do, because so many people are denied opportunities because of the stupid thing known as background.

13. What annoys you the most
Arrogant people and those who think they're better then other because they have one little thing.

14. what do you think of your lovelife right now
MY HANDS ARE HEADING SOUTH. otherwise, i'd like one maybe D= does it come with a free watch?

15. person you want to thank right now
Unit xP

I TAG THE WHOLE WORLD

And I give cookies to peoples who read all of this x3

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19585323/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19585323/ Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:23:54 PDT DDDDDD
*dances lots and bounces about happily*

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19573949/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19573949/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:47:22 PDT


Thank you guys for the 100 watches, hope to keep you interested with my art and not my opinion or thoughts.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19540415/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19540415/ Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:01:10 PDT I feel frustrated because I feel inadequate. I feel I should be drawing something more. Also still feeling ignored for some silleh reason.
Also also, audition friday THAT OLD BASTARD NEARLY RAAAAN ME DOWN IN HIS CAR
Bored because I can't get the motivation to draw right now, feel drained, I have some stuff I could upload though for the sheer bloody hell of it.
Erm, got Angelspit's latest album, rocks mah socks. Need sum combichrist though, and probably ask about for moar stuff in that general region.
soooo less than two months to go
I'm ending this now, see y'all laters

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19469218/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19469218/ Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:21:01 PDT
anyway, auditions soon it may appear! Hopefully anyway, bahhh i'm probabaly a rubbish actor though so whatever, i'll never reach my aspiration of being a doctor.. also results day drawing closer.

Been thinking of updating my ID thingie, but i'm really not quite sure what to do. Any suggestions?

oh yeah, quick note, may not be around much in August.

Really looking forward to Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts, which'll hopefully see release out here this year.

This was a weird journal made from my boredom...

um.. anybody wanna ask me anything about me, if they're interested in knowing anything... i'm that bored right now.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19341352/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19341352/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:34:19 PDT
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19295660/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19295660/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:05:53 PDT
So yesh, at the moment, this is my sort of art status and what i'm working on journal.
Will be doing things in threes I think, cause three is the magic number.

Art Trades: Open, 2 slots
Gots one with someone on FA I do beleive.. uh.. yeah x3
Otherwise, two slots, one somewhat reserved, should note you Darkfireneko X3

Requests aren't currently open D= cause I wanna clear stuff off my plate as it were first X3

Collaborations are open!
note me if ya interested, can do either linearting or colouring :3

Commissions... do you really think someone would commission me? D: x3

Also, wanna OC? Just note and i'm sure we can figure out time to do so, i'm around most days X3

and of course i've got personal projects that are humming along ok but sort of stopped D=

Anyway, looking forward to feedback :3

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19288886/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19288886/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 09:25:13 PDT Also i'm rather jealous of some people. And at the same time trying to capture the attention of some in my usual vain way.

I think I should just try doing everything, and seeing whats most popular, but I can already foresee what will it, that always is, merely because I cannot do anything other then that.

I think, I should go to bed at noon.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19121656/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/19121656/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:42:12 PDT
my code; 2363-7139-3059

leave a reply in this journal or note me or whatever, and well, we'll brawl >:3

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18945721/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18945721/ Fri, 20 Jun 2008 09:00:55 PDT
So yeah, I got through A-levels..

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18870542/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18870542/ Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:08:22 PDT I didn't get anything from the traders or anything, and was working the door both days, which was better then last year, cause last year I was outside parking the cars and it rained a fair lot X3
good experience overall though, got me out of the house and talkking to old acquantences from high school.

I've got one last proper exam left for this friday, my four-hour written performing arts exam on theatre from 16th century to 21st and Trojan Women. Also trying to learn two monologues for my audition into university, which could happen any day so I have to be uber-prepared and stuff. I'm doing that scottish play by Shakespeare and Look Back In Anger. So yeah i'm rather stressed and not thinking right at the moment. As well as strangely bored and unmotivated =/

Also, does anyone have a way of getting to me, Photoshop CS3, Adobe Flash, or Adobe Fireworks? CS3 would be the most appreciated D= cause it doesn't seem i'm going to be getting
them from whom said they would originally.

---------------------------------------------------------------
[Edit]

Carried on over from

comment, and I will:

a) tell you why I friended you,
b) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.,
c) tell you something I like about you,
d) tell you a memory I have of you,
e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
f) tell you my favorite user pic of yours,
g) in return, you must do the same.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18825742/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18825742/ Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:06:15 PDT
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18732087/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18732087/ Sun, 08 Jun 2008 14:05:18 PDT
that leads me to like my first point. I've got lots of linearts, and can make semi-decent ones pretty quickly, but not currently got a good way of colouring them, so was wondering if anyone wants to try a collab or something, where I do the lineart and you do the colouring X3 just an idea, say if your interested and we'll sort things out =3

second point, been talking to someone about this for a bit, they say its a good idea, so i'm passing on to all of you, but, what do you think about a cosplay contest for Demmy? D: like, dressing her up in various characters outfits and perhaps acting like them, or acting opposite to what they would be like X3 just an idea though also, say if ya like it, and i'll go into further detail fairly quickly.

Also, that Propane Nightmares song by Pendulum gets stuck in your head real bad @.@

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18607542/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18607542/ Tue, 03 Jun 2008 09:36:44 PDT
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Kay, so my friend came over,had a look at the computer, decided it needs reformatting and all that stuff. Backed up a bunch of my files and stuff, so thats ok. He reformatted a few timescause it kept crashing, but it seems quite stable now. Only thing is, I have hardly any programs now, especially in the art area. So, until I can get them again, I will most likely not be drawing anything for a long time.
Also only now getting some stuff back up like msn and aim and my music players x3

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18427934/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18427934/ Wed, 21 May 2008 09:17:54 PDT I'd upload a picture and be all whory if i didn't think i'm generally ugly, don't like putting my picture up on the net, or could find my cable for my digital camera x3
anywayz, its a light hue of blue at the front, the right half of the blue bits is shorter then the left. The rest of my hair is still quite long, and is a combination of red and black X3 so yeah X3 that probably doesn't describe it very well does it? x3

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18370067/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18370067/ Sat, 17 May 2008 16:30:10 PDT Just a little miffed at the moment. Mainly cause of some certain people. Certain people who think they are so great, that they are never wrong. That they can do what they want, and think that the world must listen to them. The sort of people that want others to undertstand them, when they can't understand others, nor even themselves. The kind that promises something, takes from you, and doesn't make good on their promise. But I suppose their my kind aren't they? Hah, I think myself so great after all, though I will fail in life. Mmmm, maybe its just my lethargy and paranoia and worry and depression all meeting at once. I need this stuff out of my head though for exams, can't be thinking this when trying to find the flaws in arguments.

In other news! Been playing Apollo Justice, tis pretty cool. Cases are still mindbendingly crazy x3 The characters are cool though, and so are the scenario's generally. Phoenix has turned into a wright ol' weirdo though D= x3
Thinking of having a contest for the sheer randomness of it, anyone interested?
Also getting my hair styled and coloured, not sure how to style though, anyone got any suggestions? Its gonna be dyed red, blue and possibly black, and I want something odd X3
End of Sixth Form this Thursday, well, study leave begins then, as thats what it technically is, but basically don't have to go in anymore. Going to try and get into the local Uni for next year doing a performing arts course.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18153090/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/18153090/ Sat, 03 May 2008 17:58:42 PDT
Got Mindless Self Indulgences new album a few days ago, takes time to get used to, the tracks don't click as easily as You'll Rebel, but still rawkin'. Favourite track at the moment i'd say is either Issues or Mastermind.

First exam is in um, a week I think. wheeeee x3

Got autographs from people todays D= James Marsters, Connor Trineer and Paul Mcgillion D= cookies for people who know who they are x3

Life is going ok, though ill a bit recently, coughing lots.

and yeah, thats about all I have to say X3

-art to do(or should that be that should be done?)-
Trades with:
- sketching
kitsunechao - sketching
andi think thats it, poke me if ya want one also, we'll sort something out D= x3 drawing is a good way to get my mind off the exams and from going overboard on revision.
commission for Terisse, owed for like ever >.>
personal crazy stuff, whoo statements.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/17842121/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/17842121/ Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:20:20 PDT
So like the last couple of days since going back to college have been alright, i've been less stressed over personal things and more stressed about revision now x3 so if I do ramble about things in the next two months or something, it'll probably be because of them. I don't want to stuff them up after all-- especially my performing arts written exam D=

Also, I seem to have messed up my sleeping pattern over the last few weeks and i've been reading more manga then I used to because of it X3 Currently reading through Shaman King and Rave Master, but my local store seems to only go up to about 7 then jump to like 25 X3 but yeah, anyone got any suggestions on good manga's to read? D:

Otherwise things are ok, still feeling lonely, but thats my fault really. So yeah, anyone who wants to talk to me is fairly welcome to = D X3 *brick'd* saying that though, from some people, i'm getting the feeling they don't want to know me anymore and have turned their backs, but their choice, whatever D= though I will say its hurt my self-confidence, but what doesn't at the end of the day. And hey, what happens when you lose everything? You just start again.

Went to camden market yesterday also. The part that was hit by fire seems to be looking alright, only part of it is being worked on really, and a few shops and an entire market area has been shut down =<

Ah yeah, been feeling fairly artistic lately as well x3 though, i'm sure I still draw rubbish, at the moment i'm more confident at doing things X3 speaking of art stuff to do...
Commission for Terisse - sketching
Trade with Sparky - sketching
Trade with Kitsunechao - very rough sketching x3;

Anyways, thats all for this random journal X3

You know that I would love to see you in that dress
I hope that I will live to see you undressed

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/17691880/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/17691880/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 23:53:17 PDT Lets list things shall we?
-Life is boring and dull
-Death is the opposite of life, thusfore if life is boring and dull, death must be fun and exciting yes?
-Theres no one ever to talk to-- not that I have anything to say ever though mind you.
-I've lost my voice, though its not like I had one to begin because i'm a coward.
-My opinions are scattered across the floor, and everyones just walking on them as if there not there.
-I should have been around at the time concessionalist politics, because all I do is nod along to things and add to the generally accepted view of something.
-There isn't much left for me after July.
-My mind is rubbish and total garbage. I can't think of a decent thought.
-Me, creative? You'd be having quite a laugh there.
-On that note, me doing something worthy of praise? Thats also quite not possible.
-Why should I complain when theres so many more people out there who are feeling the exact same thing, and possibly worse. When theres people out there who are in true suffering. What right do I have to waste peoples time with my nonsense?
-I keep telling everyone I don't understand, but no they tell me I do when in actual fact i'm just very good at looking like I know something about a subject, but know very little, as displaying by my idiocy.
-I'm not going to make it in life in anything because i'm too perverse and twisted and diseased.
-Who's going to employ a mentally unstable person?
-I can't communicate my feelings well. Easily explainable though when what i'm feeling can best be described as ______________________
-The truth is, there is no truth.
-People are so insincere.
-I'm so angry and jealous of so many people-- some of them people I'd call friends.
-Words are good, actions are better.
-I'm so conflicted between al my ideaologies.
-Look, the end.

Simply i'm confused.

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/17319308/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/17319308/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:36:33 PDT Don't think i'll be forgetting that line for some time, just got back a little while a go from doing my last drama performance examination, hopefully it went well, it seemed to go so, and i'm all covered in flour right now X3 but yeah, big load of stress taken off me now that thats over with =3

Anywaysssssss, Dame has tagged me D=

The rules:
1. You have to post the rules
2. Every person tagged has to write 10 things about themselves
3. You have to write them in your journal
4. After that, tag 5 more people
5. Go to that person's page and tell them about it

1. I have fear of being all by my lonesome and/or being completely forgotten.

2. I know waaaay too much about Nazis now X3;

3. I'm not very good at detecting sarcasm

4. I'm very paranoid >.>

5. I can't survive a day without listening to music

6. I get hooked/obsessed on things easy for a short amount of time.

7. I worry too much that I mistake lust for love-- wait scratch that, I worry too much full stop.

8. I only have a few characters, I try to develop them as far as I can really, make them as interesting as possible. I personally feel having too many characters makes them generic and somewhat samey-feeling after awhile.

9. Sex scares me. X3;

10. uh... I'm not very interesting? x3

also, i'm not gonna tag anyone cause i'm cool like that x3

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/17104680/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/17104680/ Sat, 01 Mar 2008 20:56:43 PST
First 11 to comment on this wanting to be, get to be featured, and i'll choose three pieces of yours that I like teh mostest. The catch to this deal is you have to post a journal also offering this! So, here goes...

1.
A particulary talented arteest, defines the body with sharp elegance, and gives good emotionful expressions to the characters he draws.

Conveys the feeling of envy many artists have towards their higher up artistical peers I personally feel. Quite clean, crisp and stylised also.

A good example of his ability to convey a certain warmth in facial expression.

I have a bias towards this for obvious reasons x3 but still, shows how well he is at drawing out a good scene that has plenty of life to it.

He gets a fourth one cause he's the only that replied and I felt that the last one showed too much bias x3 This in my opinion shows that you don't have to use full colour or have a wonderfully decorative pose to make a point, and reflects a deeper meaning in what it is to draw 'art'.
2.
Good with the traditional medium. Also very good at digital cell-shading.



3.
A good doodler, is improving each time with his colouring.



4.
Very talented artist. Has good skill at both digital and traditional mediums, and a good hold of anatomy.
~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/16933552/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/16933552/ Sun, 17 Feb 2008 17:32:09 PST .>
also, i'm gonna try and not write an emo-esque sounding journal for awhile, cause i'm goth and i should stop whining X3

-art stuff to do-
Trade A
Trade with good Sir - still considering x3;
Entry for Dame 's contest - half line-arted
um... perhaps some giftie stuffs >.>
also own stuff
- Vena Cava
- *Explode*
- Shattered

I may open up requests/trades soon also

BUT DAMMIT I NEED MOTIVATION! -WILL PAY FOR MOTIVATION- X3;

]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/16863932/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/16863932/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 13:04:44 PST
]]> ~DrayVonGoff http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/16821881/ http://DrayVonGoff.deviantart.com/journal/16821881/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 17:58:01 PST Rain, downpours of sadness
With
Thundering regrets
Lightning shocks of desperation may be seen

Moving over the week, the rain will shift
To icy cold frost
Which will
Create a reflection of the frozen soul
Ashen white snow will form a layer
Over the long forgotten

Things will begin to warm up again
Though
The heat will melt all worries
and hopes alike
Into slosh
Sunshine will peak through the grey clouds,
Rays of light and regeneration
Burn through the mind
to blind

The cycle will continue
Storm clouds to forever torment the heart
Won't go away
And the rains beats down again

]]> ~DrayVonGoff