Hiya all,
just a brief update on my last journal really.
*AND NOW EDITED*

I'm still not well but much i'm happier in general.
My dear friend Priscilla bought me a 1 year sub.
That's the DA kind of sub not the underwater vessel.
Though that would be cool too.
Other good news was the release of Radiohead's new album
and my sister from London is coming to visit soon for a couple of weeks.
And if you can call it good news (I dunno?) I have a appointment
with a mental hospital on Monday morning (ooh goodie) I guess
it will make some people happy. It's probably for the best
as is everything gd or bad that will be what will be, whats the good
of trying if no-one will feel the same about me as I do them.
Yes we have to concetrate on ourselves but does that mean
that we should never give anything a chance never cling onto
whats evidentally worth it. I dunno i'm just fed up. *sigh*
This is the way I am I can't magically click my fingers
and get well and become a better, nicer person, all I can do
is my best and try and get strong and if thats not good enough
then so be it, so why can't I not even be given that much.
Why can't anyone close to me understand me. *screams*
Everything slips away, anything thats good that is and all
I want to do is to dream, cos my life exists in dreams, my future
is just a dream cos my life, heath, friendships, relationships and everything
are as bleak as unreachable and improbable prayers and wishes that
are as bleak and as unlikely as miracles.

If you been living under a rock, or on a desert island or on another planet
you might not have heard that Radiohead got a new album
so you might like to check out my review of it.
Or if you have which I suspect and if you have downloaded it
then check out my review anyway and let me know what you think.
[link]

the title of my journal is taken from this beautiful song
by Porcupine Tree called "And The Swallows Dance Above The Sun"
Lyrics: Alan Duffy / Music: Steven Wilson

"I'm sitting in the concrete
I'm listening for a heartbeat
I'm sitting in the painting
I promised I'd be waiting
I'm sitting in the window
I'm listening to the wind blow
I'm sitting in an hour glass
I'm waiting for the march past
I'm sitting in the doorway
I'm wishing for a new day
I'm choking in the landscape
I'm cutting through the red tape
I'm sitting in the concrete
I'm listening for a heartbeat
And the joke has crossed the line
And the final word is mine
And the mist has touched the wood
And the words are understood
And the sand has drifted high
And the blind man gave a cry
And the swallows dance above the sun
And the swallows dance above the sun
Yeah
I'm sitting on the ceiling
I had to know the feeling
I'm sitting in the shelter
I'm going down helter skelter
I'm sitting in the concrete
I'm listening for a heartbeat
Every time I turn around
There's another face watching me
Every time I turn around
There's another voice calling me
Every ti... ]]> *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/14816196/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/14816196/ Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:13:43 PDT [link]

>

Hiya all,
as you probly know i haven't been feeling the best lately
and i'm sorry about neglecting some of you and myself.
I'm hoing to see the doctor tomorrow and I hope it helps.
I've been feeling miserable and tired for so long and lately
I haven't been eating apart from a few packets of crisps in the past 4 days.
But one step is seeing the doctor. Cos I hate going there.
And i've put it off for so long. Whilst going there for other reasons.
I haven't said anything to him about my depression.
Mainly cos i'm scared about what happened last time I was on those tablets.
Please don't worry my friends.
I aim to see the doctor tomorrow then get a job.
So I can pay for a ISBN retail code thingy so I can distribute
my poetry book i've been working on it seems like forever.
Still need to do a back cover which is a bit tricky
cos I have to put a blank box on the image for the bar code.
And I have to do a copyright page. Everything else is done.

the title of my journal is taken from this beautiful song
by Bjork & Thom Yorke "I've Seen It All"

"I've seen it all, I have seen the trees,
I've seen the willow leaves dancing in the breeze
I've seen a man killed by his best friend,
And lives that were over before they were spent.
I've seen what I was - I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see!

You haven't seen elephants, kings or Peru!
I'm happy to say I had better to do
What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall!

And the man you will marry?
The home you will share?
To be honest, I really don't care...

You've never been to Niagara Falls?
I have seen water, its water, that's all...
The Eiffel Tower, the Empire State?
My pulse was as high on my very first date!
Your grandson's hand as he plays with your hair?
To be honest, I really don't care...

I've seen it all, I've seen the dark
I've seen the brightness in one little spark.
I've seen what I chose and I've seen what I need,
And that is enough, to want more would be greed.
I've seen what I was and I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see!

You've seen it all and all you have seen
You can always review on your own little screen
The light and the dark, the big and the small
Just keep in mind - you need no more at all
You've seen what you were and know what you'll be
You've seen it all - there is no more to see!"


You might've noticed I recently submitted my first news article
please take a look if you haven't and give the artists I featured
the love they and their art richly deserve.
[link]

I wish you all a nice rest of the week and a lovely weekend,
and may it bring you lots of warmth,
love and inspiration

http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/14510571/ Wed, 05 Sep 2007 23:22:00 PDT [link]

>

Hiya all,
its been almost a month since my last journal
i'm off on the yellow brick road soon too see the wonderful wizard
and too find my heart and hopefully rediscover my art along the way.
Lots of thanx to everyone who've been there for me and were
very supportive and helpful whilst I was struggling with motivation,
inspiration and a lot of other things, I rediscovered a passion for visual poetry
and it got me writing again and i'm hoping a short holiday might help
me even more. I'm going away this Saturday with my mum
for a week long holiday We're going to a little old place in Wales
called Penlan Holiday Village in Carmarthen. [link]
We're gonna stay in a little chalet lodge thingy [link]
I was browsing the site and looking at the facilities
and they've got #Games room with pool tables# yay
#Video cinema# double yay #Internet Access# triple yay LOL
So I might be able to keep in touch whilst down there.
I'm gonna take my camera and will get plenty of exercise and fresh air.
Will miss DA and my friends.
I'm missing my bff she's restarted college
which i'm really happy about and I know I should have too
we don't talk as much lately as we used too and we've had
a few fallings out in the past couple of months and both
of us have been losing our appetite and desire for art
you probably noticed I took my gallery off a few days ago
and have only brought back some of it, I was unsure what
I wanted on here and wanted to refind or discover what I enjoyed most.
She's been having similar issues and now she's lost her internet access.
(If we don't talk b4 I go, I want you to know i'm sorry
and I miss you and i'm proud of you).

You might've noticed I recently submitted my first news article
please take a look if you haven't and give the artists I featured
the love they and their art richly deserve.
[link]

The rugby world cup starts this weekend
don't forget to cheer on Wales for me come on boyos!!!
and Wales are also playing Germany in a football/soccer match.

I wish you all a nice weekend,
and a nice week whilst i'm away
and may it bring you lots of warmth,
love and inspiration

*DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/14202199/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/14202199/ Thu, 16 Aug 2007 20:08:41 PDT [link]

>

Hiya all,
its been around a month since my last journal
Funny enough I wish I had a lot more news to tell
but oddly I ain't got much news apart from that i'm
still working on my poetry book. Not been having much luck,
been to two funerals recently and been uncreative and unmotivated.
It's not been that gd a summer. Lots of rain, no money, nothing to do,
no job and feeling tired and groggy all the time.
The days just seem so long and I always seem to tired too do anything
Oh well the football/soccer season as started
and the simpsons movie was hilarious.
I need to read more someone reccomend me a interesting book or film
Maybe something that might inspire me to pick up the pen again.

I wish you all a nice weekend
and may it bring you lots of warmth,
love and inspiration

Film of the month: May [link]
"If you can't find a friend make one!"
Angela Bettis displays the performance of a lifetime portraying May.
Who has a child, she was a lonely girl with a lazy eye and without any friend but a weird and ugly doll kept in a glass case given to her by her bizarre mother on her birthday. May becomes a lonely weird young woman, working in an animal hospital and assisting the veterinary in surgeries and sewing operated animals most of the time. When her doll is accidentally broken, the deranged May decides to build a friend using the best parts her acquaintances can offer. *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/13809069/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/13809069/ Fri, 20 Jul 2007 13:23:51 PDT [link]

>

Hiya all,
not much news apart from i'm working on a book
and my best friend as lost her internet so I can't talk to her
plus she's going on vacation so i'm gonna miss her
apart from that i'm well

Artistic News;
i'm currentlly working on some watercolour/collage images
for a big project, i'm gonna self publish a book of my poems
and alongside each poem i'm gonna have a collage
to represent each one its been my dream
and a idea of mine for a long time and writing as been
my major love ever since I turned 12
and its been my dream to be published
ever since I was about 13, for many reasons
it hasn't come into fruition yet
not from the lack of trying,
but more due to the lack of confidence
DA has helped me gain some confidence
so i'd like to thank you all
my friends, watchers and anyone's work I enjoy

for my project i'm using lulu to self publish
would like to hear from people who've self published before
or have used that site to self publish for tips and suggestions

visit lulu.com if your interested in taking a look at want to self publish
[link]

I wish you all a nice weekend
and may it bring you lots of warmth,
love and inspiration

And fave poem of the week;
dove, i am by *jonzoiplu
[link]

THE BEST ARTISTS ON THE WHOLE WIDE DA WORLD
(That I'd Have No Inspiration or Motivation Without)
http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/13642212/ Sat, 07 Jul 2007 03:25:00 PDT [link]

>

Hiya all,
some good news at last after, all the crappy stuff lately
finally heard from my best mate (outside of DA)
hadn't heard from him in over a month
and was worried about him
he's just got back from Asia
it's my nephews 13th birthday today
Though i'm still too rough to go to his party
it's stilll nice he's going ice skating with his mates for his birthday
and he'll be over to visit later tonight
i'm thinking of doing some watercolour painting
ain't done any in years so probly won't be any good
but fancy just doing something relaxing
have got a few lines for a poem
and i'm gonna collab on something with my good friend *gonetomorrow
after a rough couple of weeks I hope to turn the page soon
and walk in to the empty room and not make a sound and be able to relax

I wish you all a nice weekend
and may it bring you lots of warmth,
love and inspiration

And fave poem of the week;
Necklace Of Tears by *enchanted-lullaby


THE BEST ARTISTS ON THE WHOLE WIDE DA WORLD
(That I'd Have No Inspiration or Motivation Without)
http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/13233880/ Tue, 05 Jun 2007 21:55:54 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
have been feeling kinda strange lately like really good or really bad
often like swapping over during the same day. Have also been having moments where I drift off and don't wanna talk to anyone or not fully comment properly on people's works then I have moments where I have too much to say all at once my insides feel like they've been turned upside
down, inside out, twisted around and shaken all about by the kaleidoscope
of love ... i've spent so long living in the shadows, a spectator of my own life and of life itself, love, death and suicide ... everything just seems like a sickness all a part of some big huge sickness ... when am I gonna wake from this bad dream ... when is my nice dream gonna be not so distant ...
i'm feeling really insecure lately
am making the people I care about most worry and sad
just wish the future and my nice dreams weren't so far away


FULL LIST OF THE DREAMS VISUAL POEM SERIES
Here's the eight parts of my poem
Each part is a sepereate line taken from it;
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

I wish you all a nice rest of the week
and may it bring you lots of warmth, love and inspiration

http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/13127067/ Mon, 28 May 2007 15:17:25 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
sorry for the lack of any real update on this journal for some time
well to fill you in more on the things that are going on or not going on
in my life at the moment. Well I bet you know the feeling all too well where
the gaps in you're life n memory are temporarily filled in with bad habits
n stupid behaviour I find it hard to move on or allow things to disappear
or fizzle out completely without a fight yet thats exactly what people expect
me to do too just let things fizzle n fade out without a whimper like I don't
care if I care too much why is it people confuse it with pushing away?
I've had a terrible lack of motivation, inspiration, energy n any sort of drive
lately ... meh Also a funny appetite or lack of though i've been eating lots of ice cream for some reason even though its been freezing here lately
Plus its probably not a good idea to eat ice cream especially when I got a bad mouth not sure if its my wisdom teeth, ulcers or just the roof of my mouth thats causing my mouth to hurt when I swallow n too spit blood out
sometimes in the mornings when i'm groggy n exhausted.
though its probably not as bad as it sounds... bleh
I've got myself a scrapbook n a notebook to write n glue things into
I need some sort of direction, appetite, anything to get out of this rut
of feeling like this all the time like everythings too heavy, tiresome and sick
I thank everyone who've commented my latest ID and visual poem
that were greatly indebted to the kind and very talented oh and erm please check out my 2nd account
cos i've been updating that with some pics too
some of which are also kindly collaborated with *Talkshowhost84
thats all for now I think
lots of love and thanx to all my watchers and the watched
for you're support and inspiration


FULL LIST OF NAPOWRIMO/APRIL POEMS
April 1st, 2007 ~~ DAYS OF APRIL [link]
April 2nd, 2007 ~~ A HALF REMEMBERED SMILE [link]
April 3rd, 2007 ~~ THIS WAS OUR SPRING BREAK [link]
April 4th, 2007 (MY BIRTHDAY) ~~ PASS THE PARCEL [link]
April 5th, 2007 ~~ THE OBSESSIVE LOVE WHEEL [link]
April 6th, 2007 ~~ INNER CHURCH [link]
April 7th, 2007 ~~ SLEEP FLOWERS [link]
April 8th, 2007 ~~ GHOST OF A FLOWER [link]
April 9th, 2007 ~~ GARDEN CLOCK & WIND CHIMES [link]
April 10th, 2007 ~~ SEE IT THROUGH [link]
... ]]> *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12785556/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12785556/ Mon, 30 Apr 2007 02:23:58 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
today's the last day of April and the last day of the April poem a day challenge as well as the new month bringing sunshine and new hope
it also is my neices first birthday on the first day of May
Forgive me if in the first couple of weeks of may if i'm not too active
cos after the challenge is over i'm going to be taking a holiday from my brain and also its my neices first birthday so thats special and i'll probably be hopefully spending lots of time with my neices and nephew
Also in May we're switching over from cable to sky television and internet
so around the 8th I think we're be without tv and internet for a while
but I shall retruen with much faster internet yay!
And hopefully a short break of some kind will do me good
I want to sincerely thank everyone who's upported me and shown patience
with me whilst i've been doing the April Napowrimo poem a day challenge
i'm so pleased that today is the final day and i'm still going and have made it this far although it wasn't without some blips, pressure and strain
the majority of which have been written whilst i've been tired, ill and stressed
though that isn't such a bad thing in a way with the theme of April mostly prevailent in all of them I tried to link them together either by the themes of April or Spring so that once the challenge is over they will hopefully not look out of place and will just appear as a series some of which I will be going back too over the next couple of weeks to touch up and edit so if there's any that you feel need work on so that they can remain in my gallery and not go into scraps please let me know cos all feedback is helpful feedback

FULL LIST OF NAPOWRIMO/APRIL POEMS
April 1st, 2007 ~~ DAYS OF APRIL [link]
April 2nd, 2007 ~~ A HALF REMEMBERED SMILE [link]
April 3rd, 2007 ~~ THIS WAS OUR SPRING BREAK [link]
April 4th, 2007 (MY BIRTHDAY) ~~ PASS THE PARCEL [link]
April 5th, 2007 ~~ THE OBSESSIVE LOVE WHEEL [link]
April 6th, 2007 ~~ INNER CHURCH [link]
April 7th, 2007 ~~ SLEEP FLOWERS [link]
April 8th, 2007 ~~ GHOST OF A FLOWER [link]
April 9th, 2007 ~~ GARDEN CLOCK & WIND CHIMES [link]
April 10th, 2007 ~~ SEE IT THROUGH [link]
April 11th, 2007 ~~ SPRING PATCHWORK [link]
April12th, 20... ]]> *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12705341/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12705341/ Mon, 23 Apr 2007 13:58:05 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
hope your all well, sorry about taking time with all my replies and things
have been very tired lately and the April challenge is taking a lot out of me

but saying that yay i've finally reached my 200th deviation

this quiz was taken from Suzanne's ~lil-miss-mousey 's journal
you don't have to put it in your journal if you don't want too
but it be nice and fun to see your answers let me know
if you'd like me to reply with my answers to the quiz for you
either in a comment or on your journal kk have fun

? I _____ Russ.
? Russ is _____.
? Russ needs ______.
? I want to _____ Russ.
? Russ can ______.
? Someday Russ will _______.
? Russ reminds me of _______.
? Without Russ _________.
? Russ can be _______.
? Russ is always _______.
? The worst thing about Russ is ________.
? The best thing about Russ is ________.
? I think Russ should _________.
? If Russ was an animal, she'd be a(n) ______.
? Right now, I bet Russ is thinking about _____.
? Russ makes me want to _______.
? Russ probably tastes like______.
? If I could spend the day with Russ I would _____.
? I'd ______ for Russ.
? Russ is made of _________.
? Russ is the _________.
? If I could be Russ for a day_______.
? I want to give Russ _______.
? The song _____ by _____ reminds me of Russ.
? The character(s) ______ in ______ remind me of Russ.
? Russ should play ______ in ______.
? Russ should wear ______.
? Russ is __________.

I wish you all a nice week
and may it bring you lots of warmth, love and inspiration

Poetry features;
Dust becomes Life by ~IntoTheFuror


Swansong of Trinity by =LilithLairPoetry


how slow? by ~e-bojnowski
http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12602755/ Sun, 15 Apr 2007 08:39:28 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
my gosh i'm so happy firstly thanx to everyone
who's been supporting me during the April challenge
and been patient with me getting to my messages
and thanx to everyone who showed support after what
happened to my mum in my last journal, she's doing ok now
and she's joining DA sometime soon to display her beautiful
paintings that are all around our house like a art gallery
I have to thank everyone who's been kind and supportive lately
and I must put a special thank to my dear friend paivi =closer-to-heaven
for gettting me a DA subscription

she's a angel and a very beautiful person and very talented
she's been through some tough times yet has always stuck through it
and been there for others and continues to take beautiful and inspiring
nature, skyscape and landscape photos that are as beautiful and inspiring
as her kindheatted soul thanx from the bottom of my heart
for being a wonderful deviant artist and a dear friend
i'm so happy, n teary eyed my gosh i'm so girlie
my sister in london who doesn't get to see much of my poems n art
as said she's going to buy some of my prints to put on her wall
am gonna spread the love n happiness n also gonna start thinking
about what to write for my 15th poem for the April challenge
which will take me exactly to the half way point of the challenge
I can't believe i'm still going I couldn't do it without the encouragment
and support of you guys and I wish everyone who's taking part
the best of luck
I wish you a nice weekend
and may it bring you lots of warmth, love and inspiration

*DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12577459/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12577459/ Fri, 13 Apr 2007 07:48:43 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
this is my first journal for quite a while
sorry about taking my time to get around
to all my messages gosh its gonna be harder
cos tomorrow I turn into a pumpkin when my sub runs out
am not sure when i'll be able to get another one
though I have entered a few competitions to try and win one
wish me luck cos I need it

oh last night my mum got attacked on the way home from work
a car drove past her and some horrible men shouted rude things
at my mum and threw cans of beer at her she was scared and crying
and shook up when she came in late last night

thanx to everyone who's been commenting and supporting
me throughout this April poem a day challenge I know it can
sometimes be a pain when people are over submitting
and I know that some people don't want to read poetry all day
so I thank you so much for your patience and time and support
its very encouraging if you haven't already please check
out my April poems there's really not much else I can think of too
write apart from being worried about my mum
have also been feeling unwell the past few weeks

wish you a nice weekend
and may it bring you lots of warmth, love and inspiration

Fave Poetry "He was all hands" by =inmyroom
"Strong." by ~explorexplodexplain
and "Factitious..." by ~ElectroBaby
THE BEST ARTISTS ON THE WHOLE WIDE DA WORLD
(That I'd Have No Inspiration or Motivation Without)
http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12453269/ Wed, 04 Apr 2007 06:38:08 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
i'm 26 today thanx for everyone who's already wished me
a happy birthday and thanx also to everyone who's shown
me warmth, encouragment, support, friendship and inspiration on here
throughout my time on here long may it continue
my best friend made my day early this morning singing me happy birthday
my sister from london made me smile so much by singing for me too
and by telling me that she's coming down soon to visit and watch a movie
and spend time together
i've found me a birthday song the dresden dolls "me & the minibar"

just change happy birthday us to happy birthday Russ

The Dresden Dolls
"Me & The Minibar" lyrics

Bring two prix fixe dinners up
I'll unwrap the plastic cups
It's just us my love
It's just us my love

I will make the room up nice
Put your insides all on ice
It was real true love
It was real true love

Close all the windows
Put signs on the handles
And strip down to my dun-dun-duns
You have gone so far
You have gone so far

And tonight
Its just me and the minibar

Candles from the walmart that
Every city's got to have
That I bought last night
That I bought last night

I was so excited to
Do such normal things with you
When you left last night
With your toothbrush dry

No such details will spoil my plan
That is the kind of girl I am
HA HA HA

Can you hear room 318?
Man they're really happening
They're a wild bunch
They're a wild bunch
But if they just knew
What my night was coming to
God would they vomit and run
You have gone so far
You have gone too far
So tonight
It's just me and the minibar
Nobody else
And I sing at the top of my lungs
Happy birthday us
Happy birthday us...


am doing a poem a day challenge for the entireity of this month
check out my first two three 4th one on its way soon
i've condemned myself to poetry chained to it for a month
am going a little bit more crazy by the day
april is the cruellest month poetic war they'll call this poetic suicide.
Hmm my subscription runs out in eleven days need to get a new one
hopefully i'll get some birthday money off one of my sisters
am getting a new phone later today off my mum
if you're interested in seeing what one here's a link and no its not pink
[link]
am happy about it after my gay V3 razr broke somehow dunno how hmm
but its been a while since i've been able to text n talk to my sister in london
and my neice n nephew on my own phone and my best mate
have to wait and see what I get off my sisters am
have got some pretty and funny cards already
am wearing a funny badge that looks like a winners ribbon thingy
that says on it the world's greatest brother *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12435739/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12435739/ Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:06:11 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
one day to go till my birthday and another year of my life
as been wasted roll on the next one
But thanx for all your support its helped and I ain't feeling
so bad about my age ain't got no plans for my birthday
am happy just staying at home with my family
but who knows it might be cool for once
am doing a poem a day challenge for the entireity of this month
check out my first two
i've condemned myself to poetry chained to it for a month
am going a little bit more crazy by the day
april is the cruellest month poetic war they'll call this poetic suicide.
I have to somehow come up with the third one today
But please forgive me if they aren't up to my usual standard
will get back to them at some point and touch them up
and I hope you understand that its going to be very difficult
to keep up with all my messages during this month
But this challenge ain't all bad it gives me something to do
its also a challenge more than anything to myself to see how much
I can write and put my mind to something and produce something presentable at the same time which is hard but will try my best
please check them out need all the encouragment I can get
to get through this poetry writing month thing - even if they do suck
My subscription runs out in eleven days too

Came across these cool, dark, funny and really simple yet awesome
little animated clips on youtube am addicted to them I adore them
its a series called Tales Of Mere Existence
This one was written for me I think
its about "How to cope with depression"
[link]
This one reminds me of so many people especially my best friend
its called "Procrastination" [link]
This one is great for writers and is apt too as i'm trying to write my butt
off with this poem a day for each day of the month thingy
its called "The Best Book Ever" [link]
and there's more "Subtext" about the art of email writing [link]
and relationship type ones too
"Do You Want Me To Take My Shoes off?"
[link]
and "How To Break Up" [link]

they are awesome and have kept me amused all day

oh and if you love you're music check out this awesome band
I adore, they are a Italian instrumental Rock band a bit like Mogwai
whom I adore but even cooler
They are called Moka
They have two significant myspace accounts
This one as a couple of their latest tunes [link]
And this one is better for their earlier stuff
[link]

If you haven't already please give *thecosmicdancer
lots of love for making me the best early birthday present
I could ever wish for http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12278952/ Thu, 22 Mar 2007 16:35:28 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
this is a slight edit upon my last journal
am much happy now
cos i've recieved on here the best early
birthday present I could wish for
its everything I could have wished for and so much more
My birthday is on April 4th
*thecosmicdancer is the greatest
and she's so kindhearted and sweet
she went out of her way to help me
when I were being picked on
she got flamed and picked on herself
just for being helpful and kind
and as been a true friend
when I needed one and as made
the most beautiful birthday present
for me that I could have hoped for
here it is what I asked for and so much more
its a pic of Jonsi the frontman
of my favourite band in the whole world
Sigur Ros the best band in the universe
created by





Origional unedited post

Am still tired and unwell gah! its been too long is doing my head in
hmmm kk what was the point in this journal hmmm gd question
lol emote self abuse is gd
am working on a new poem not sure when it'll be up
am loving the thumbchat my new poem is gonna be about the seasons
and love oh yes love I think lol will probly end up completely different
kk am running out of things to say
oh yes how can I forget my own Bday
not long till my Bday
but bleh i'm gonna be old
26 here I come not runs and hides from time
will be over the quarter of a century mark
slipping down toward the 30's and imminent boldness
and beer bellyness bleh
oh my subscription is running out and I only just worked out
how t... ]]> *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12241692/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12241692/ Mon, 19 Mar 2007 06:41:12 PDT [link]

Trying out this CSS stuff it works let me know what u think of it? I've been unwell lately so appreaciate all the commetns and support but sorry for the slow replies

THE BEST ARTISTS ON THE WHOLE WIDE DA WORLD
(That I'd Have No Inspiration or Motivation Without)
<... ]]> *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12227889/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12227889/ Sun, 18 Mar 2007 04:30:21 PDT [link]

Hiya all,
just a quick update
as some of you may know well mostly the UK, Irish and Nigerian
dev members that its Mothers Day today
but not everywhere of course not sure
why they celebrated in some parts of the world at different times
but none the less todays a nice day as his any other really
to apreaciate our mothers, not all are gr8 of course,
they can even be a pain in the kneck some times
but if you have a proper relationship with your mum
at some point in your life mine blossomed over the past 7 years
then it can be one of the most inspiring
and most loving relationships of our lifes
why this sentimental outburst you may ask
well my mu as been ill, had trouble with her car, got back trouble,
as got no car cos of a car accident whilst picking me up at uni last May,
works real hard in a cake factory, and is there for all the family and others
whenever we need her and she knows just the right time when we need her
so in my eyes she's very inspiring to me,
was so even when we didn't get along
Made her breakfast and seeing her face light up and smile a big grin
was the best feeling i've had in a long time
We gonna go watch a movie together at the cinema
Am feeling a lot better today despite still being a bit over tired.
Have been uplifited by the loving and spirit of my mum,
my best friend
who has been real sweet and made me
a Scavenger Hunt list of things to do and find over the next week
to cheer me up and make me feel happier an dgive me something to do
in my eyes its a very caring and sweet thing to do
and also a special mention this morning shud go out to a new friend

who has not only gave me one of the nicest comments
about my writing but as faved around a hundred of my poems
from the bottom of my heart I thank you my mum, Talkshowhost84
and Elerion and all my watchers and the inspiring artists on here
lots of love to you all
Am working on a new poem thats gonna be for mothers day.

oh and some light relief ahaha this is scarily camp and one of the
worst songs i've ever heard man its not even a song its just I dunno
what it is u make your minds up "some salted nuts sir?"
its the UK entry for the eurovision song contest thingy in finland
[link]

Recently joined this beautiful DA community
my poem "Hugs & Kisses" is featured on there
*spread the hugs around*
*DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12093366/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12093366/ Wed, 07 Mar 2007 17:04:24 PST [link]

Hiya all,
am still a bit worn down and drained
was too groggy to go to town to get my money
so have to go in tomorrow if I have the energy
i'm staying around and gonna be strong
and hopefully we won't hear no more of the past few days
thanks for all the kindhearted support
it as rekindled my faith in DA and in friends
when my faith in DA, and friends etc, was severely tested

i've reached 20,000 pageviews yay the amazing Talkshowhost84
captured it for me

lots of love to you all
thank you to everyone who as supported me through tough times

DDIOLCH
BEDANKT
PODZIĘKOWANIE
GRAZIE
AGRADECIMENTO
MERCI
DANKE
EFHIARISTO
GRACIAS
AGRADECE
OBRIGADO
TAKK
TAK
KIITOKSIA
HVALA
Teşekkür
Mulţumiri
מודה
Спасибо
謝辞
致謝
감사합니다
شكرا




edit edit edit edit edit edit

(and if anyone knows what to do in this situation
where i'm getting hasseled, bullied, abused, and having
slander made against me, please let me know)
(note me if u want)


The song of the moment :singing:


GARBAGE LYRICS

"Right Between The Eyes"

Don't care what they have to say
No point in listening to them anyway
Why do you have to give them what they want?
They love to watch you as you fall apart

Stick it to them like a phoenix rise
There's nothing grander than the big surprise
They can't hurt you with their sticks and stones
About time take them right between the eyes

Seek to destroy cause they're scared of you
That's why they try to make a fool of you
They're so jealous of my pretty star
Cause you've got soul inside your shattered heart

Stick it to them like a phoenix rise
There's nothing grander than the big surprise
They can't hurt you with their sticks and stones
About time take them right between the eyes

And you've been waiting all your life
To fly high into somebody else
And it's true it's a cruel, cruel world
Life's a bitch and then you die my love

Don't care what they have to say
You shouldn't listen to them anyway

Stick it to them like a phoenix rise
There's nothing grander than the big surprise
They can't hurt you with their sticks and stones
About time take them right between the eyes

People like to build you up
Then they'll stab you in the back like that
You know it breaks my heart
Can't see you going out like that

Stay alive my love
Stay alive my love
Stay alive my love
Stay alive my love

Recently joined this beautiful DA community
my poem "Hugs & Kisses" is featured on there
*spread the hugs around*
http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/12010702/ Thu, 01 Mar 2007 08:34:11 PST [link]

Hiya all,
have been messing about with my new camera
its a Pentax Optop E20 digital camera
you can see some of my latest pics on my other account


A special mention about a new DA writing community
i've come across and am excited about joining

Well today if you don't know is St David's Day
The patron saint and national day of Wales

Visit the Welsh DA community/club

If you are lucky enough to be in Wales on March the first,
you would find the country in a festive mood.
Every self-respecting man, woman and child
would be celebrating St. David's Day in one way or another.
Saint David, or Dewi Sant, as he is known in the Welsh language, is the patron saint of Wales. He was a Celtic monk, abbot and bishop, who lived in the sixth century. During his life, he was the archbishop of Wales, and he was one of many early saints who helped to spread Christianity among the pagan Celtic tribes of western Britain.
Ever since I can remember St. David's Day across the country
as been celebrated at school's beginning with a religious service in one of the chapels or churches. When I was little we went to school dressed in our Welsh costumes. The girls looked charming in a pais a betgwn - a petticoat and overcoat, made of Welsh flannel, and a tall beaver hat, worn over a frilled white bonnet. Us boys wore a white shirt with a jabbot and wrist frills, a Welsh flannel waistcoat, black breeches, long woollen socks and black shoes. To complete the outfit we wore a flat beaver hat. I wore my national costume with pride until I was seven years old, and after that I had to be bribed to do so... I later wore a Welsh flannel waistcoat and a flat cap in honour of the great day.



CYMRU AM BYTH
“Wales For Ever”



You all have to become Welsh for the day
eat Welsh Cakes and drink Brains beer
pin a daffodil onto your top

Welsh cake recipe.
Preparation time less than 30 mins
Cooking time less than 10 mins
Vegetarian Quick Recipe

Ingredients
225g/8oz self-raising flour, sieved
110g/4oz (preferably Welsh) salted butter
1 egg
handful of sultanas
milk, if needed
85g/3oz caster sugar
extra butter, for greasing

Method
1. Rub the fat into the sieved flour to make breadcrumbs. Add the sugar, dried fruit and then the egg. Mix to combine, then form a ball of dough, using a splash of milk if needed.
2. Roll out the pastry until it is a 5mm/¼in thick and cut into rounds with a 7.5-10cm/3-4in fluted cutter.
3. You now need a bakestone or a heavy iron griddle. Rub it with butter and wipe the excess away. Put it on to a direct heat and wait until it heats up, place the Welsh cakes on the griddle, turning once. They need about 2-3 minutes each side. Each side needs to be c... ]]> *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/11920668/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/11920668/ Thu, 22 Feb 2007 12:02:18 PST [link]

Hiya all,
as you can guess from the title i'm working on a new poem
normally that would be such a pleasing thing and would make
me so happy, but this poem I won't give to much away is turning
into something much much more. And I can barely hold the pen.
Without shaking and tears streaming down my face. I've had to have
numerous breaks from it and started it two days ago. And i'm still no near
finished. It's turning into a epic slog. But there's so much in this
one poem it could be like a hundred poems in one.
It's a struggle cos although its about a fictional character there's
so much in it that resembles my own childhood, pains and nightmares.
Other news my sister is still coming down this weekend
Its my oldest sister's birthday this saturday she's gonna be 36
Gosh time goes fast seems like not too long ago she were skiving off school
Lots of love to all my watchers and to everyone who reads this.


FEATURED WORKS

these are very beautiful recent faves that deserve lots of love and praise




Recently joined this beautiful DA community
my poem "Hugs & Kisses" is featured on there
*spread the hugs around*
*DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/11727803/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/11727803/ Thu, 08 Feb 2007 12:10:22 PST [link]

Hiya my fellow drownees of art,
'let the client suffer' hmmm where to start kids
let's see what this crazy bastard as done lately
since my last update to the loathsome secrets of a star-crossed
child in the final days of the world as we know it......

Let's try and playback what i've done since my last update......
.... hmmm let's see whilst lost somewhere out on the matrix
I axed the ex's
and left them at the mercy of savages and vultures
out on a silent desert somewhere deep in the deepest
waters of memory where the users can be left at the mercy
too a taste of their own medicine

.... What else has happened on my adventures
ah yes! .... deep in the vortex of the insane generation
I battled wooly mammoths and giant inects against
the sands of time in a hourglass, I grew stronger
and wiser and more magical. I found a map
that led to a gateway into another dimension whilst out there
I found time itself and wiped valentines day off from the calendar

........ Then got back in time to send off a job application
for a night porters job in the Kings Hotel where if I get it
I can be the night watchman and make sure
that the forces of light and dark in the kingdom of fear
don't come into conflict no more in the year 200 and 7 of our lord

.... Ain't been drinking enough fluids lately have passed out
once or twice in the past several days can't be sure feels like
passing from one parallel universe into another and at various
stages of my lifetime so much so that I barely know one time
from another have no clue which time or universe i'm writing this in

......... My best friend on the whole wide DA as turned into a pumpkin
thats what happens when you lose your DA subscription and have
so much fun at the ball that you forget to renew in time b4 it runs out
This is when pleading insanity begins to look like a good option.
If all else fails plead insanity, that might change you back into a princess

.... After the shock of that I had to cook some kids and feed
them to reptiles then feast on a reptile b4 going on another
wild misadventure but got lost and cramp in my legs and forgot
where or why I was on a adventure so hitchiked and got picked up
by another me being driven further and further into nowhere
somehow I have no idea how I became the driver and bored.
I myself picked up some strange looking hitchikers taking them
with me to some place I had never heard of or seen b4
I eventually bored them senseless and scare them out of their minds
so much so that they asked to be allowed to vacate the vehicle
and prefer to brave it among reptiles, vampires and ghouls
on the savage but soul searching information highway than listen to me

.... Rambling on about how twisted the world is .... like some
preacher man full of e's and whizz
somewhere along a stretch of road that had become a big black nothing
I recall mentioning to them.... in the eyes of greed their minds are stuck in the past and see nothing but a rose petaled here and now
like a drunk in a casino in the early hours holding onto some self centered lie dream of... ]]> *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/11417853/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/11417853/ Sat, 13 Jan 2007 03:31:02 PST [link]

Hiya all,
its funny where lack of sleep and boredom takes you
this is a funny bedtime story I came up with in a msn conversation
with to try and help fall sleep
earlier on b4 this I was driving her mad with the lyrics
to David Bowies' Dodo which I listened to for hours
cos it reminded me of my doctor called Doctor Dodo

and now for something completely different........

THE FAIRYTALE GAME
a story by DrowningByWords

One day there was a princess bored in a big castle
with nothing to do apart from making up games.
But with no-one to play with cos the maids, servants and soldiers
had to let her win or they would have their heads choped off.
She only became even more bored.
But with no way out to the outside world.
She started to dig her way out using nothing but a knife, fork and spoon.
Down inside her underground tunnel she met a dope smoking dopey mole.
And the dopey mole said to her something profound.
He said for her to be able to see the world clearly she had to become blind.
Then while digging her way out she accidentally blinded herself.
Her vision the mole said could only come back with a Kiss.
A Kiss from a unknown future prince.
She became a love dazed blind renegade princess.
On the run searching for her modern prince.
She got lost and was taken in on a farm.
There they made her milk the cows and sheep.
But while there she became close friends with the farmers son.
He took her on horse rides and long walks and described to her the world.
Slowly making her see a little bit more and more.
But still visually impaired.
One day out riding on horseys.
His horse got scared and he fell off.
And she came to his rescue.
Even though she couldn't see properly.
And she waited for help to come.
While holding his hand.
Then as the ambulance came she gave him a Kiss.
And he returned the Kiss passionatelly and her vision came back.
She nursed him back to health.
They got married, had their own farm, played games and had twenty kids.
Because there wasn't anything else to do but have kids.
The end.

Recently joined this beautiful DA community
my poem "Hugs & Kisses" is featured on there
*spread the hugs around*


If you are feeling lonely, bored or just want to make a new friend?
Make a new deviant feel welcome [link]

This is nice its a daily nice picture [link]
Check out my neice's webpage *DrowningByWords http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/11147012/ http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/11147012/ Fri, 22 Dec 2006 06:35:42 PST [link]

Hiya all,
looks like its not gonna be a white christmas again
although its so cold most places in the uk especially where
I live in southt wales are blanketed in groovy dense fog
that we've had for the past 3 days and will do so for another
couple of days although I don't drink for health reasons
though I have done on a couple of occaisons which makes
this xmas feel kinda strange but in a way its really good
cos it makes me appreaciate things much more
especially the hard work of the women in my family
Yesterday was nice I spent most of it with my best mate
on a misadventure of a chritmas shopping journey in Cardiff
through the labyrinthine mixture of shoppers, street sellers,
beggars, oddballs and chavs grr the amounts of time people
walked in to me was annoying why do people blank you when
you apoligise for them barging into me or not say anything
when I stand opening a door for them grrrr unconsiderate people
with no manners and people who have no consideration or respect
to anyone else who appears different really peevs me off
But anyways i'm so unfit and get cramp in my legs
which although the day was really enjoyable with my best mate
spoils it and along with all the unconsiderate people that belong
under a blanket of fog in a ironic way
Got bored with the long ques and our unsuccesful attempts at
finding presents so we watched Pan's Labyrinth instead in the cinema
I sincerely and truly reccomend it to anyone to see as soon as possible.
Its a very pretty, moving and imagintive film.
Based during the spanish civil war.
Following the story of a mother and daughter.
Unlovingly lumbered and mistreated by a brutal faschist.
Some of the scenes are deeply moving and brutal.
And mixed with the scenes of the girls imagination and her love
for her mother, fairies, books and fairytales its really beautiful.
Check it out please
Here's some info about it if you're intrigued
[link]
And here's a link to some trailers
[link]

Check out this christmas poem that I recently came across
its very pretty and funny
its called All I Want For Christmas by *belladagio


And check out this very funny piece of fictional prose
about the reasons why santa is evil
its called Is Santa Safe? by *ScreaminCricket


and check out my deviation of the day
Frosty by *Foxfires
http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/11008594/ Sat, 09 Dec 2006 17:12:41 PST

1) Full Name: Russell David Kearns

2) Male/Female: Male

3) Were you named after anyone?: Erm don't so though come to think of it
I think my mum got the name from
some actor not sure

4) Does your name mean anything? Russell = From a surname which meant
"little red one" in French
David = Beloved
Kearns = Dark in Irish

5) Nick Name(s): Russ, Rusty, DrowningByWords, flyiiingsheep,

6) If you had to choose a new name, what would it be? Elijah

7) Date Of Birth: April 4th

8) Place of Birth and Current Location: Newport, Wales (for both)

9) Nationality: Welsh/British

10) Astrology Sign: Aries

11) Chinese Astrology Sign: Rooster

12) Religion: atheist

13) What’s your favorite smell?: grass, petrol, hair

14) Political Position?: marxist/leftist

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? hot chocolate

16) Hair + Eye colour: Dark brown hair and brown eyes

17) Do you look like anyone famous?: dunno? u tell me if u know?

18) What do you look like?: a sheep

19) Any unusual talents?: dunno writing, collage making, drawing?

20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?: Righty.

21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?: Straight/Curious.

22) What do you do for living?: Make cups of tea and hot chocolate

23) What do you do for fun?: Watch movies, sport, listen to music, write,
play pool, computer games, chat to people, etc?

24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?: Pen, Paper, Pencil,
PC and music

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?: A smexxy girl

26) Have you met your grandparents? Yeah on my mums side.

27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: Nope. Single

28) Crush: Yeah but not tell you lot

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?: Katie Melua

30) Current worries?: Health, Family, Money, Life Is Not Life Without Worry

31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s): wouldn't like to choose one cos I care about
a lot of people

32) Favorite place to be?: outside walking or in a dark cinema or in my bed

33) Least favorite place to be?: in a hospital

34) Do you burn or tan?: burn baby burn

35) Ever break a bone?: yeah both thumbs at the same time
jumping off a crowded school bus

36) What is your favorite cereal?: Golden Grahams/Golden Cinnamons

37) Person you cry with: myself generally

38) Any sisters: Three; Melanie, Hazel and Penny

39) Any brothers: No … I’ve always wanted one though

40) Any pets: A rabbit called Wednesday

41) A unique quality?: I can sing

42) High Speed Internet? supposed to be

43) A Personal phone line: nope

44) A Cell phone: Yup

45) A visible birthmark: Nope

46) A Pool or hot tub: Hot tub

47) A Car: Nope am kinda scared of driving


*Describe Your...
48) Personality: Humble, Stubborn, Eccentric

49) Driving: I can’t drive and don't really want too

50) Your clothing style: None

51) Room: Too small

52) What’s missing: someone to share my heart and life with http://DrowningByWords.deviantart.com/journal/10899499/ Thu, 30 Nov 2006 08:54:08 PST

Hiya all,
sorry for my recent abscence
but last weekend things got ugly
and I took a turn for the worst and had
a Heart Attack have just got back from the hospital
seems a bit too soon am really tired, drained and frigging starving
and bored shitless after staring at a ceiling for almost a week
have missed you all and had to let you all know how I am
am going to be put on a excersise rehabiltation thingy and going to
stick to a diet and its been nearly three weeks since my last
alcholic drink, cigarette or self injury yay go me
and I can get over this major setback
thanks all of you for your support and patience and compassion



Recently joined this beautiful DA community
my poem "Hugs & Kisses" is featured on there
*spread the hugs around*


If you are feeling lonely, bored or just want to make a new friend?
Make a new deviant feel welcome [link]

This is nice its a daily nice picture [link]
Check out my neice's webpage [link]

Check out Newport where I live in Wales [link]
Visit Wales [link]
I Support Welsh Rugby [link]
I Support Welsh Football [link]
I Support Welsh Boxing Hero Joe Calzaghe [link]
I Support Sheffield Wednesday the greatest football team ever [link]
I Love Sigur Ros the best rock band ever [link]
and check out these awesome bands
Mogwai [link]
Godspeed You Black Emperor [link]
DeVotchKa [link]
Explosions In The Sky [link]
Moka [link]
Windsor For The Derby [link]
Sonic Youth [link]
Ride [link]
My Bloody Valentine [link]
18 Wheeler [link]
Gork... ]]> *DrowningByWords